Divided We Fall
by Chronicleofabutterfly
Summary: She thought loosing her son was enough...was it possible she could loose her husband or will a friends discovery offer them a hope that died when they burried their son?
1. Chapter 1 You Are My Sunshine

Divided We Fall

Chapter 1 You Are My Sunshine

A/N: This is the third installment from "Redeeming Olivia" and "When I Lay My Baby Down", if you haven't read those this will be about as clear as mud. Read those, read this and for those of you who _have_ been reading….BREATH! LOL

They rode in absolute silence. What more can one do after burying their seven-month-old son? Elliot turned the blinker indicating he would be turning right into the driveway of their home. He couldn't help but notice how bleak the house looked knowing he wouldn't be playing with his son tonight…or ever again.

Placing the Mustang Olivia prided herself on buying to protect their son, Isaac, in the event of an accident, in park; he turned the vehicle off and attempted to open the car door when he felt her hand grab his and her faint voice grind out a raspy, "No."

He interlaced his hand with hers bringing it to his lips and kissing it softly, "We're gonna make it Olivia." He assured her unable to see what her eyes spoke behind the dark lenses of the sunglasses she used to mask her tears during the funeral.

She starred down into her lap giving his hand a gentle squeeze, barely able to get her whisper out, "I miss him."

Elliot swallowed hard, "So do I." He tried to comfort her pulling her to him and kissing her head gently but knowing her heart was refusing to be comforted. "We need to go inside Liv."

She sat up quickly shaking her head left to right, "No, please, I can't."

He hated to see her beg, "Liv-"

"NO!" she said forcefully then crying softly and wiping a tear she begged again, "Please don't make me."

Elliot shook his head softly understanding why she wouldn't want too, "Okay." He said in a whisper taking her back into his chest as they sat in silence in a driveway to a house they recognized as theirs but didn't feel like home anymore.

"Cragen sent a team in and cleaned up," he told her trying to talk about anything, knowing the current situation was the only thing on both of their minds, "It looks good."

Olivia embraced him tighter leaning over the divider of the bucket seats, "We haven't seen Casey and Paul."

"Cragen said they're still in the hospital."

"Can you take me please?" she whispered sitting up and looking at him.

Elliot turned his body to face her more squarely in the muscle car. He extended his hands to her face as she leaned into his caress needing to be touched, affirmed and if nothing else she just needed to know that she wasn't the only one in pain. Gently, Elliot removed her sunglasses revealing puffy-red eyes stained with smeared mascara and shakily placed eyeliner. Placing them in a cubby of the car he noticed she was starring down fighting tears again.

Elliot tipped her chin forcing her to look at him as he brought his lips tenderly against hers. He kissed her tentatively at first, knowing she was in shambles, but more confidently when she rested her hand on his cheek, kissing him back with a need to feel alive again, a need to be free from the hell she'd just walked into.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"We're here to see Casey and Paul Novak." Elliot said offering a weak smile to the receptionist.

"I'm sorry," she replied sympathetically, "They're both still in ICU only family is allowed."

"I'm her sister." Olivia spoke hoarsely and suspected that when the older nurse saw her red eyes she simply gave up.

"Let me get the doctor." She smiled softy and returned with a female doctor in green scrubs.

"Follow me." She said softly taking her to the room, "I was under the impression she didn't have family other than her husband," the doctor spoke softly to Olivia indicating that she had a suspicion Olivia wasn't exactly blood…but what was blood anyway?

"How is she?" Olivia ignored the doctor's questioning look and managed to speak with a coolness that surprised even her.

"She suffered tremendous blows to her head and spine." The doctor spoke softly, "She woke up last night…the pain she's in…is unbearable even for the strongest person."

"Prognosis?" Elliot asked resting his hand on Olivia's shoulder giving a soft squeeze.

The doctor took a deep breath, "She hasn't spoken to us so we haven't told her anything but it's not good…the CAT scans show no sign of brain damage, so that's promising."

"But?" Olivia whispered softly.

"We have her in a stabilizer but…I'm sorry," The doctor shook her head, "She may not walk again."

Olivia bit her lip trying to hold back her falling tears, "And her husband…how is he?"

"Still in and out of consciousness but not showing signs of coma…that's good." The doctor assured her, "He lost a lot of blood but we got the transfusions in time, several broken ribs and a broken wrist but ultimately he is one lucky man. His wife is very lucky too." She said signing a form in a metal file and handing it to a passing nurse with a smile.

Olivia narrowed her brows almost insulted at the doctor's remark, "She may never walk and you call that lucky?" she spoke incredulously.

The doctor looked at Olivia and Elliot realizing they had no idea how lucky Casey was, "Ma'am," The doctor's voice was soft almost friendly in spite of Olivia's harshness, "You're sister may never walk again, but at least she'll hold her baby."

Elliot looked at Olivia to see if she was just as stunned as he was; and from the look on her face he knew she was. She furrowed her brows, "She's pregnant?"

"Yep…looks like about three weeks." The doctor smiled, "The goal right now is going to be to assess the damage to her spine and get her moving around…she's going to have to get strong quick to deliver." The doctor looked down retrieving her vibrating pager from her belt, "I'm sorry I have an emergency…please go see her…but know that she's in a lot of pain and we can't give her much of anything because of the baby."

"Does she know she's pregnant?" Elliot asked.

The doctor smiled and rubbed Olivia's arm, "She will when her sister tells her."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Seeing a machine breathing for one of her best friends wasn't really what Olivia needed at the moment but she put herself through it knowing Casey would need someone, and knowing she didn't want to return home until she absolutely had to. Elliot made his way to Paul as Olivia sat softly by Casey taking notice of the steel fixture that had been drilled into her skull to keep her spine from moving.

Her face was pummeled and swollen. Olivia pulled the blanket a little higher over her battered body and thought she'd felt Casey's hand graze her own but discarded it quickly knowing someone in her condition couldn't. She had awakened the night before but was still on the breathing machine, which meant she wasn't able to breath on her own. 

After tucking the blanket snuggly under her body keeping her as warm as possible Olivia looked up to see she had opened her eyes and was starring at the ceiling. Olivia took hold of her hand and looked directly over her face so she didn't have to strain. "Casey, can you feel this?" Olivia asked stroking her hand gently. "One blink for yes, two for no." she offered quietly.

Casey's eyes screamed emotions that Olivia wasn't sure she'd ever known before. Slowly Casey closed her eyes once and then opened them indicating that, yes; she could feel Olivia's hand against hers.

Olivia smiled faintly and looked up motioning for Elliot to come over. "She's awake." Olivia whispered.

Elliot smiled stretching his body over hers as Olivia had previously, "You know Casey," he smiled softly taking her other hand and motioning to the fixater, "If you wanted a tiara Olivia and I would have bought you one."

It was faint, but Casey tried to smile and then her eyes searched for Olivia. She furrowed her brows looking at her intently and Olivia knew exactly what was going through her mind…Casey Novak was already preparing her case in her head.

"What is it Casey?" Olivia asked softly and then smiled feeling Casey pulling softly on the hem of Olivia's shirt, using the slightest movement of her index and thumb as she starred silently at the white abyss above her. Olivia watched as Casey's fingers contorted slowly as if they held a pen.

"Pen?" Olivia asked. And then watched as Casey closed her eyes once indicating 'yes'.

Elliot retrieved a pen that rested by the phone and pulled out his notebook thinking it odd that he'd carried it to his son's funeral. Handing it to Olivia he watched quietly as the two friends communicated.

Olivia placed the notepad gently under her hand waited until she grasped the pen and very slowly started to write as Olivia read the letters out loud, "P…A…U…Paul." Olivia finished seeing no need for her to write more. Then checking her eyes that indicated 'Yes'.

Elliot smiled, "He's doing great Casey, he's sleeping in the bed right next to you couple broken bones but he's gonna heal up just fine." He assured her seeing the pen move again and hearing Olivia read the letters, "I…S…A…A" Olivia's heart sunk knowing Casey was asking about her son. Before Elliot cold respond with the truth Olivia cut him off, "He's doing great," her own words slicing through her heart as she tried to give her friend a reprieve form the guilt she knew she would place on herself, "He's at home in his crib." Olivia whispered feeling Elliot's eyes on her but unable to meet them.

Knowing Casey couldn't see her too well she took a chance and wiped a tear as she watched the pen move, "D…R…U…G, Drugs?" Olivia offered and then felt a tiny smile creep over her lips knowing the reason she couldn't have any of the good stuff.

She leaned over catching Casey's line of sight, "Honey," Olivia smiled, "I talked to the doctor's and it seems you've been holding out on Elliot and I."

Casey furrowed her brows searching between both of them wondering how on earth they could be smiling. "Casey," Elliot hovered over her, "Sweetheart, you and Paul…"

Olivia finished, "Are Pregnant." She smiled and even caught herself laughing seeing the small smile and weak 'Thumbs up.' She gave before moving the pen again. Olivia looked at the scribble and felt her already broken heart shatter all over, "Isaac will have a friend." She whispered and then shook her head agreeing with Casey just as they heard a labored groan from Paul.

"Casey, Paul is waking up," Olivia told her, "We're going to go talk to him okay?" she watched for her blink that gave her permission to do so.

Olivia and Elliot stood next to the bed watching Paul open his eyes slowly wincing at the newfound pain he'd discovered. His voice was weak looking at the two, "Where's…Casey?" Elliot smiled at him, "Well, hello to you too."

"Casey." He reiterated ignoring Elliot's try at humor.

"She's in the bed next to you." Olivia assured him taking his hand softly, "You feel like a Mac truck hit ya?" she teased gently trying to forget her own pain.

Paul groaned touching the patch of gauze that covered the knife wound in his chest, "Two or three of them."

"Isaac?" he moaned.

Olivia tried to smile but the tears fell and she shook her head slowly left to right. Elliot watched as Paul's face began to contort and his eyes misted over as he muttered out a harsh 'sorry'.

Elliot bowed his head to his ear, "This is not your fault!" He assured him firmly, "But Olivia needs to tell Casey when she's ready okay?" he asked him fighting his own tears. Paul shook his head agreeing to keep silent.

"Favor?" he asked feeling he had no right to do so being the person responsible for loosing their child.

"Anything." Elliot responded.

"Push me over." He whispered pointing towards Casey's bed. Elliot shook his head knowing what it felt like to need to be close to his wife. Elliot joined him on the other side watching for chords and monitor feeds before slowly inching the bed closer to Casey who had no choice but to strain her eyes at the commotion.

Olivia straightened out the chords, and double checked all of Casey's machinery looking for anything that might interfere with her breathing, when she was confidant there wasn't any she watched her two friends silently as Paul reached slowly across his bed to hers and took her hand into his whispering, "I love you Casey."

As Olivia picked up the pen and notepad she noticed the single tear that fell from Casey's eyes, wiping it softly she whispered in her ear, "Rest…we'll see you tomorrow."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They found themselves in the same situation starring at the house when they parked the car in the driveway. Elliot got out of the car and walked around to the passenger side opening the door and helping her out. She held onto his belt as she casually let herself fall in behind him, she didn't want to be the first one to go inside.

When Elliot pushed the door open and withdrew the keys from the doorknob she took a deep breath stepping into the house for the first time since they had returned from their trip. She was grateful to Alex for having gone back and retrieving clothes for both her and Elliot. She avoided looking down the hall not wanting to see the nursery door even for a second.

Looking around, one wouldn't be able to tell that two of her friends were almost beaten to death in her home or her son was kidnapped. Everything was properly in its place; the coffee table had been replaced. Why? She didn't know, nor did she care. She lowered herself slowly onto the couch catching sight of the picture she had framed of Elliot asleep, feeding Isaac in the house office, with case files strewn about him. She picked it up running her fingers over the image of her son before Elliot softly took it out of her hands and kneeled in front of her.

"I know your hurting." He whispered feeling stupid for having stated the obvious, "I love you." He told her as he came up on his knees and kissed her gently then found himself a little surprised when she caressed his face in her hands and kissed him back.

Not exactly sure why she needed to, not exactly sure if he would, but positively sure she felt guilty for what she would ask him, "Make love to me…please?"

Elliot pulled back gently understanding her need to feel connected to something, anything. If he told himself the truth he would admit he felt like a leaf being tossed in the wind connected to nothing with no landing in sight.

He complied with her request silently as he kissed her softly along the length of her neck as he took her hands into his and stood her up slowly. She turned her back to him pulling her hair to the side as he slowly unzipped the back of her dress caressing her flesh with his tongue and lips as he followed the zipper, stopping just above her bottom. He placed his thumbs gently on her spine and extended his fingers sliding his hands back up her back and over her shoulders letting the dress fall.

Olivia toed her heels off and turned to feel his lips on hers again. She needed him like a desert needs the rain; she needed him to seep into her, to fill the cracks and holes that had just become her life. It wasn't a manner of want, not this time. This time, it was a manner of need, of some sort of desperation to be where she was before her world collapsed.

He kissed her tangling his hands in her hair as he rubbed his thumbs along her cheeks. She ran her hands along his body surrendering to his tongues desire, before allowing his suit jacket to fall to the ground. He pulled her close to him letting her know that in spite of the pain they were in, they wielded a power over one another that rendered each other desirable…no matter what the situation.

She ran her fingers along his tie and then pulled gently away form his lips. She inspected the knot knowing it wasn't her work and it defiantly wasn't Elliot's. Getting ready for Isaac's funeral was a blur and she didn't remember him asking for her to bail him out.

"Who?" She whispered softly while she slowly untied it.

Elliot rested his forehead against hers as she unbuttoned his shirt, "I didn't want you to have to worry about it…Cragen helped me." He whispered as she shook her head acknowledging what he was saying and pushing his shirt off of his shoulders before running her hands back over his abdomen and releasing his belt.

Olivia looked up to see his misty blue eyes as she unbuttoned his slacks and slowly brought the zipper down as she whispered, "I'm scared I won't be able to handle loosing him."

Elliot toed his shoes off and stepped out of his pants once they fell. He kissed her forehead and held her against him feeling the surprising warmth of her body, "You don't have to be strong Olivia, not this time."

She pulled softly at his boxers allowing them to fall. He stepped out of them and asked softly, "Where?"

She shook her head, "Here…I don't want to go down the hall."

He kissed her, tasting the salt of her tears against his lips as he lowered her gently onto the couch, pulling away to look at her, "Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked supporting himself so he didn't suffocate her body.

"I need this." She shook her head affirming her own words as she arched her hips allowing him to pull her panties down as he held her gaze his own eyes misting knowing her heart was dying, knowing that tonight she would die in his arms.

He pulled her up gently kissing her as he unhooked her bra, softly kissing the flesh underneath. While she normally savored feeling the gentleness of his mouth against her and the tactile feel of his hands over her she needed him now. "Elliot-"

He raised his head to see her starring at him, her eyes begging to be connecting with him. He laced his fingers with hers and pinned her hands softly on either side of her head, "I know." He whispered rubbing himself into her surprised she was ready for him. He rocked his hips back and watched the tears seep out of her closed eyes as he entered her.

They were silent as they responded to one another through the softness of a kiss, the gentleness of a caress. She wrapped her legs around his body pushing him further inside of her needing him to revive her, needing him to make her into the woman she was before they lost their son.

He felt her tighten her grip over his hands and turn away from him as he moved within her. Tonight he would let her avoid his gaze; tonight he would do anything to take her pain away. He moved faster, falling into her as deep as he could push himself as she came biting back her cries, not sure if they were cries of passion or cries of mourning.

He moved slower watching her breathing just as he came inside of her holding back his own cries as if this specific moment were sacred. He tried to roll to the side but she refused to loosen her legs from around him, she wrapped her arms around his neck drawing him close to her.

Feeling himself getting weaker from supporting his body over her, he whispered almost out of breath, "It's okay to let me go Olivia."

"No." She sniffled and tightened her hold.

He reached up prying her hands from his neck as he looked at her, "It's okay Olivia." She released slowly allowing him to roll to the side, careful not to fall off the couch. He pulled the blanket from the back of the couch and extended it over her as he held her watching her fight sleep until she finally lost.

He stood to his feet, careful not to wake her, as he pulled his boxers on. He picked her body up as slowly as possible as she nuzzled into him. He kissed the top of her head as it relaxed against his chest. He took her through the hallway he knew she wouldn't walk if she were awake and carried her into the room. He balanced her body as he pulled the comforter down and placed her gently into the comforts of her bed. Pulling the blankets up he kissed her check and slid in next to her embracing her tightly.

"Elliot." She mumbled through her sleep.

"Hmm?" he responded rubbing his thumb along her waist.

Half awake and half asleep; she nestled her body even closer to him as she exhaled over his chest catching a sob in her throat, "It hurts."

Elliot blinked back a tear knowing exactly what she was talking about…it hurt. He kissed her lips, and offered her the only thing he could, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…"


	2. Chapter 2 Hurricane of Rage

Divided We Fall

Chapter 2 Hurricane of Rage

Olivia returned the phone to the cradle and stood silently until she heard Elliot's sleepy voice from the living room, "How long have you been up Liv?" he asked kissing her cheek from behind before reaching for a coffee mug.

"Since two, maybe two-thirty, I couldn't sleep." She said dryly before taking a sip of her coffee.

"Who was on the phone?" He asked pouring the steaming coffee into his mug and noticing that she was rubbing her neck.

Olivia exhaled, "Cragen."

"What'd he want?" he asked stepping behind her and rubbing her shoulders for her.

She lowered her head not exactly sure there was an easy way to say what she had to, she whispered as he massaged her, "As of today we're on paid leave of absence." She swallowed feeling his hands stop…knowing he was just as stunned as she was.

"What! Why?" he furrowed is brows and almost passed out when she handed him the newspaper. Shocked, all he could offer was a stressed, "What the Hell?" as he read the capital leaders of the headliner, "SON OF NYPD'S ELITE KIDNAPPED; FOUND DEAD!" It was the sub-line that sent him into an outrage, "Rising ADA and husband badly beaten as two of New York's finest vacation."

He opened the paper and slammed it down on the counter. The rage cam from somewhere deep within him, "Sonovabitch!" he growled seeing the academy pictures of he and Olivia, they were old pictures but they still identified them. Just below their pictures was the picture Elliot had on his desk at work of Olivia in the hospital holding Isaac just after he was born. "Who leaked these?" he barked wading the paper up and launching it across the kitchen startling Olivia as it caught in the air and fell softly to the ground.

Elliot notice her jump at he boom of his voice and he immediately tried to calm him self, it helped even more when she embraced him from behind and rested her head on the back his shoulder, "IAB traced it back to a rookie on the second floor- he was forced to resign this morning." She tried to sooth him as he leaned over the counter trying to stop his anger and hurt from turning into a hurricane of rage.

Elliot turned in her embrace to face her, "I'm sorry I yelled." He apologized kissing the top of her head as she rested on his chest.

"I've heard you before." She assured him stoking his back aimlessly, "It's okay to be angry…I'm angry." She confided in him.

Elliot looked at her and smiled gently, weakly, "Have you eaten breakfast?"

"No," She smiled almost as pathetically as he had, "You got something in mind?"

He kissed her hand softly and forced him self to tease, "Your wish would be my command."

Olivia looked at her watch, "I told Casey I would stop by the hospital today." She kissed his cheek, "How about you surprise me while I shower?"

"Deal." He agreed releasing her.

"Do you want to come see them with me?" she asked referring to Casey and Paul.

Elliot exhaled, "I think you need time with Casey alone and I have some stuff around the house I need to tend to…mind if I pass?"

Olivia knew he was avoiding going to the hospital, but she reluctantly agreed and ventured off to the shower refusing to look at her son's nursery as she made her way down the hall.

Elliot placed the last glass of orange juice on the table as Olivia emerged with damp hair, wearing a white shirt and jeans. "Pancakes!" she smiled knowing that by the simple act of making her favorite breakfast he was trying to comfort her anyway he could.

"They're your favorite…and I put a little something' in them." He smiled pulling her chair out for her. They sat across from one another bare feet tangled together under the table as she took a bite of the pancake and surprised him with a laugh.

"Chocolate chips!" she laughed covering her mouth as she savored the new flavor.

"Well," he said wrapping his calves a little tighter around her legs, "You love pancakes…you'll kill for chocolate…I thought both of them would send you to heaven." He smiled at her as she shook her head softly conveying in silence a precious 'thank you, I love you' that they both needed to know.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia stepped up to the counter, "Casey Novak please."

"Mrs. Stabler!" The nurse smiled, "I have good news for you."

Olivia rubbed the back of her neck in exhaustion, "I could use some."

"Mrs. Novak is breathing on her own as of one O'clock this morning."

Olivia raised her brows a little shocked at the sudden change in her condition, "Can she talk?"

"She can." The nurse smiled, "And apparently she's been chewing out her husband and yelling at the staff," the nurse chuckled, "Most people's throats are sore from the tubing but her husband tells me she's being feisty." She smiled.

"Why is she yelling?" Olivia asked suspiciously, that wasn't normally in Casey's nature, "And how is her husband?"

"He husband should be going home tomorrow…as to why she's yelling, I have no Idea." The nurse shrugged, "A volunteer was reading the paper to her and she starting yelling…asked for you or the blond woman who visited last night."

"Alex?"

"That it." She agreed.

Olivia closed her eyes knowing Casey must have read the story and found out what really happened to Isaac. She shook her head, _I don't need this right now_, she thought. She offered the nurse a weak smile, "If either of them should ask for me or my husband," She began withdrawing a card from her wallet and handing it to the nurse, "Don't hesitate to call."

"The nurse looked at the card then down to the newspaper in front of her before she whispered in a slight stage of shock, "You're the detective."

Olivia furrowed her brows, insulted that the paper had made it about two elite detectives who couldn't protect they're own son. She softened her face, "No. I'm the mother."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia opened the door softly, seeing Casey starring emotionlessly into the ceiling. When she turned to close the door softly, not sure if Paul was asleep, she heard Casey's labored breath.

"Olivia?"

"How did you know it was me?" She asked noticing Casey's eyes hadn't so much as shifted to see who was coming in.

"Because," Came Paul's worn voice, "She's been waiting to chew you out all morning." He offered a gentle laugh before coughing and clearing his throat, "Everytime the door opens she starts." He smiled at Olivia who cautiously took a seat next to Casey's bed. Paul offered her a warm smile and thumbs up encouraging her to start the conversation before he returned to his Science magazine.

_How that hell did he score a science magazine in here?_ The thought crossed Olivia's mind then vanished as she looked at Casey.

"Casey-"

"You lied to me. Casey's whisper was harsh…hurt.

"You already have enough on your plate." Olivia reminded her hoping to calm the anger she saw in the woman's clenched jaw line. "Casey," she touched her head softly careful not to touch the fixator, "We both know you would blame yourself."

"This _is_ my fault!" Casey growled in loaded frustration, "I pressured you guys to go on that stupid vacation and-"

Olivia leaned her body over Casey's and looked directly at her friend, "First of all," He voice was tender, "Please don't take the time Elliot and I had together away from us. Second of all…you're pregnant Casey." She said forcing a smile.

While Olivia was ecstatic about her friend's pregnancy, it was a little hard to grasp knowing she'd just lost her own son. Who was she kidding…it was almost unbearable. "Casey." Olivia fixed a strand of hair that had been bouncing on Casey's eyelash, "You were there for us when we were pregnant," She reminded her, "Please let us be with you, let us be happy for you guys. I think it will do us all good." She whispered softly.

Casey exhaled understanding what Olivia was telling her. She blinked her eyes and felt the warmth of her tears fall, then the gentle wiping of Olivia's hand against her cheek. "We can talk more when you're better."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot angrily shoved the lawn mower back into the shed and slammed the door shut only to have it bounce back open. Enraged at it's defiance he pummeled it erratically with both fists until he saw his own blood splatter. Frustrated, he backed away and stumbled.

After regaining his balance he looked down at the offending item and recognized it as a toy that Team CrackerJack fought over. He shook his head and grabbed a pale walking about the back yard and depositing the dog toys into it. He was done when he caught sight of their food and water dishes. Deciding Olivia didn't need the reminder of loosing he son and her dogs in the span of three days he placed the pale in the shed making a mental note to fix the door and grabbed a paper sack.

Elliot tossed the left over dry dog food into the paper sack and stopped noticing a ring around the dogs' water dish where the waterline had evaporated in the heat. He ran his finger along the ring feeling the substance crumble and fall into the water producing a green streak. He held his now moist finger to his nose, "Damnit!" he exclaimed running into the house and retrieving a telephone book for the kitchen drawer. 

Elliot flipped through it frantically looking for the 'V' section. When he'd finally found it he skimmed along the ad's find the number of a vet he had worked a case with perhaps two or three years ago. He dialed the number quickly and washed his hands with soap in the sink as he waited for someone to answer on the other end.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia waited patiently in the grocery checkout lane. She looked at her watch knowing Elliot would be starving. Instead of coming home around lunchtime, she called him from the hospital and left a message that she would be home more around dinner…it was two hours after dinner.

She mentally calculated the amount she would need to pay for the three items, as just under fifteen dollars as the older woman in front of her took her receipt from the cashier. Olivia was keenly aware of the snickering behind her as she put the hand basket on the conveyer belt.

"You're her!" A voice finally spoke loud enough for her to turn to the offending teenager, "Oh my gosh that is sooo mean!" The girl said holding a tabloid in her hand before showing it to Olivia. It was the National Enquirer that accused Elliot and Olivia of murdering their son. Olivia swallowed hard seeing the large letters as the girls snarled at her. She backed away, forgetting about the groceries and retreating to her car.

Sliding in the driver seat she had dislodged the place mat below her feet. She bent down in frustration to straighten it out when her fingers ran across a pacifier. She picked it up remembering how Elliot had dropped it as they drove one morning and they couldn't find it in the car. Isaac had been so fussy that they stopped at a drug store and bought him one.

Olivia exhaled and began to cry softly as ran her fingers over the pacifier aware that it was the blue one that Fin had given Isaac. She ran her hand through her hair and fed the ring of her key chain through the plastic loop of the pacifier. She grazed her thumb over the nipple of the pacifier knowing she would never use it again but wanting to remember him.

Olivia was startled as she put the key in the ignition and heard a tapping on her window. She quickly wiped her tears and turned the key to accessories to roll the window down only partially, not exactly sure what the young woman wanted.

"Hello Celeste." The voice was happy…yet compassionate and knowing, "Although, perhaps I should call you Olivia?"

Olivia furrowed her brows and struggled to match a name to the now familiar face. While she couldn't remember the name she did recognize her from the church group Olivia had infiltrated during the Fairbanks case. "Can I help you?" Olivia said weakly.

The young woman tilted her head to one side and searched Olivia's face, "I think today, it's me that's helping you." She smiled holding up a brown paper sack, "You forgot your groceries."

Olivia furrowed her brows, and rolled the window down completely, "I didn't pay for them." She whispered as the young girl handed the sac to her through the window.

"It's taken care of."

"Let me give you some money." Olivia set the bag in the passenger seat and scrounged for her wallet.

"It's taken care of." The woman responded again placing her hand on Olivia's shoulder. "I don't believe you hurt your son." She looked at Olivia whose eyes misted at the gentle words of a woman she couldn't remember. "The truth always comes out Olivia…and in the end God can be your only vindicator."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia opened the door to her home and nudge it shut with her foot. She didn't bother to call out to him because his car wasn't in the driveway. She placed the sac on the counter and leaned gently over the counter trying to figure out what exactly was becoming of her life. She noticed a note of the refrigerator as she straightened her self from the counter.

Releasing it from the magnet she unfolded it and read, "Olivia, went for a drive: Elliot." She folded the piece of paper and tossed it in the trashcan making a mental note that the way he'd written that was completely out of their normal routine. _What happened to I love you more than you know?_ She scoffed and proceeded to unpack the groceries tossing them carelessly into the refrigerator. She closed the door and leaned against it exhaling then noticing the phone book on the counter.

She crossed the kitchen and took note that it was opened to a veterinary listing but closed it hoping Elliot wasn't thinking about bringing home replacement puppies. _If we get a dog_, she thought to her self tossing the phone book into the drawer and slamming it shut, _It's gonna be a pit bull, trained to attack. _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

While Olivia waited for the water to boil she walked absently to the sliding glass door of the back yard seeing that Elliot had in fact tended to multiple things in the back yard. In the barely perceptible daylight she noticed he'd left the shovel out leaning against the fence. Deciding she should put it away she gave a quick glance at the stove and walked out the door.

She grabbed the shovel not necessarily looking for evidence of it's craft, she'd seen enough when they buried Team CrackerJack, but when she got to the shed she froze mid stride looking at the damage and what she could only make out as traces of blood on the door. She exhaled knowing Elliot must have had a particularly rough day to have lost his temper and been angry enough to do this. She placed the shovel in the shed and retreated back to the house.

Nearly an hour later Olivia had eaten alone and put away the leftovers placing a plate in the microwave for Elliot. She wrote a note and thought about signing as equally harsh as he'd done his but elected not too.

Retreating to the bathroom she exhaled in frustration at the mess he'd left behind. She gathered up the rolls of gauze placing them back in a first aid kit under the sink then cleaned the blood out of the sink holding back her own tears wondering if she should be preparing to loose her husband as well.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia rolled to her side reaching for Elliot in the middle of the night and finding the bed empty. In fact, it seemed he'd never come to bed at all. She pushed herself up and rubbed her eyes noticing the light on the hall was on. A twinge of fear raced through her body wondering if the man who'd come for Isaac was back to finish what he started.

She stood and quickly looked out the curtains of the French doors and was relieved to see Elliot's car parked in the driveway…although slightly crooked. She ran her hand through her hair and exhaled as she walked slowly down the hallway.

Olivia felt her own heart sink just a little further than it already had when she turned the corner to find her husband sitting silently on the couch head tilted all the way back, eyes closed…tears falling an empty plate and note on his lap.

She walked to him softly, "El," she whispered calling his name before startling him with a touch.

He shifted and snapped his head forward immediately trying to wipe his face but stopping when she took hold of his hands. She lowered them softly into his lap and took the food and paper away setting it on the coffee table. Returning to him, she grazed her hand lightly over his gauzed hands, "What happened today Elliot?" her voice was soft, compassionate.

He closed his eyes as he bit his lip and slowly shook his head from left to right, "I can't." he whispered indicating he couldn't bring himself to talk about it. "I need to touch you." He managed to force out pulling her up into his lap and embracing her tightly resting his head within the comforts of her breast.

Olivia felt him ball her pajamas in his fist as he clung to her desperately, why? She wasn't entirely sure, but knew he was hurting. "I love you." She whispered holding his head to her chest and kissing the crown of it softly.

Once the first sob escaped his mouth he was nothing more than a hurting and shattered man in her arms. There was no macho façade; no psuedo confidence he once bore…the man she held as he wept bitterly in her arms was Elliot Stabler in his rawest form. "I love you." She told him again feeling him tighten his embrace as she straddled his lap.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Morning came ruthlessly early considering neither of them had a job to go to for the time being. Olivia had been a little shocked to wake up on the couch but after her sleepy haze settled she remembered rocking Elliot to sleep while he held her tightly. After she'd given up trying to get out of his embrace she nuzzled next to him and tried to sleep although she found her self waking up at exactly two o'clock in the morning…whishing she heard Isaac's hungry cries.

"Good morning." He startled her slightly but soothed her immediately with a gentle touch of his hand. "Sorry, you had to be scrunched on the couch…must have been an uncomfortable sleep." He told her.

Olivia raised her hand and caressed his cheek behind her, "Next to you, I'm never uncomfortable." She smiled feeling his lips against the curve of her neck.

"I was frustrated yesterday." He confessed on his own will.

"Can you tell me why?" she asked him covering his hands with hers.

"This is my fault." He whispered hiding his face between her shoulders.

"What?" she furrowed her brows and turned carefully on the couch, "It's no ones fault Elliot." She assured him caressing his face.

He shook his head defying her comfort, holding back his tears, "If I hadn't…. he wouldn't," he couldn't get the words out, but held her waist firmly, "I want my son Olivia." He whispered hoarsely against her cheek, "I want to hold him again."

She closed her eyes as he own tears fell, "I want him too Elliot, I want him so bad." She cried next to him.

After both seemed to have their emotions reigned in she kissed his lips softly, "What were you looking for in the phone book?" she whispered trying to keep him talking, wanting to avoid anymore frustrated altercations with the tool shed.

His body tensed immediately, "Nothing."

Olivia furrowed her brows, "Elliot, the phone book was out, opened to veterinarian clinics…tell me, please?"

He exhaled and lied through his teeth, "Samuel from the K-9 division asked me to pick up his dog…I needed the address."

Olivia traced his hairline gently, "You're lying to me."

"What?" he furrowed his brows, "No I 'm not."

"Yeah ya are." She kissed him gently again not allowing him to protest her accusation, "I'm not upset." She whispered, "But I'm here when you're ready to be honest with me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia searched for the chocolate syrup in the cabinet, "Elliot," She called to him from the kitchen not exactly sure where he was, "Where's the chocolate syrup?"

"Fridge!" he called back to her from the back of the house.

Olivia rolled her eyes, _doesn't he know it's harder to squeeze if it's refrigerated_, she thought as she opened the door. She moved the orange juice on the top shelf then froze seeing a bottle full of formula that should have already been consumed by her son. She withdrew it slowly and let the door close behind her as she leaned her back against the counter.

She wondered if he was full when he was taken from her, wondered if the pajama's he was wearing kept him warm when his kidnapper took him out of the house. She closed her eyes feeling the sob escape her mouth. The anger and rage of what was happening was starting to catch up to her.

She tried to maintain her composure knowing Elliot wasn't strong enough for the _both_ of them. But, if she were honest, she would tell herself she wasn't strong enough for _either_ of them. Feeling the rage of not having her son in her life she bounced the bottle of milk in her palm sizing it up subconsciously as she cried.

Elliot stood between the living room and the kitchen looking at his wife crumble in front of him.

"Olivia-" he was attempting to bring her out of her thoughts when she chambered her arm behind her and launched the bottle of milk through the window beside the kitchen table. She yelled angrily looking for something else, anything else to throw.

When Olivia picked up the sugar canister Elliot closed the distance between the two grabbing her arms in spite of the pain in his hands. "Liv." He spoke in her ear as she resisted him, "Olivia, I'm right here." Her body slowly stopped the fight as she turned and buried her head in his chest weeping.

They held one another, understanding the pain they felt…it was the same for both, a longing to hold their son just one last time, to be able to say goodbye. They were both startled by the ringing of the house phone. He looked at her making sure it was okay to let her go. When she kissed him chastely he released her and answered the phone, "Stabler residence, this is Elliot."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia smoothed her foundation and looked at her watch through the mirror's reflection. She had promised Casey she would swing by today being how Paul would be released. She didn't want her be alone in the hospital. She was carefully applying her eyeliner when Elliot startled her sending the pencil over her eyelid.

"Smooth Stabler." She smiled at him, "Who was on the phone?" she asked using a que-tip to fix the mistake.

"Fin." He said with a smile, "Aron tried to hold out on offering the names of the parents that have the kids."

"Yeah?" She furrowed her brows, "What happened,"

"He nullified the deal…computer forensics rebuilt a disc…it had the names and addresses." He smiled.

"Who's prosecuting?" Olivia asked knowing Casey couldn't.

"Abbie Carmichael…but because the confession is still standing…he's gonna get the death penalty Liv." He smiled, "We did it."

Olivia exhaled and smiled giving him a hug, "He deserves to die for what he did."

"If Abbie does her job he will." He informed her. It seemed that, if only for a small second, there was a glimmer of happiness that took away from their overwhelming pain.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Well," Casey smiled seeing Elliot and Olivia walk into the hospital room, "I was beginning to think Mr. Stabler forgot about me." She smiled.

"Hey, what happened to the tiara?" Elliot smiled kissing her forehead with a friendly peck.

"They said all the swelling is gone in my vertebrae and now all I have to do is learn how to walk again." She chuckled as if that were no big task.

Paul smiled, "Doctor's think in about three months she should be up and around."

"So Paul how does it feel to be a fa-" Elliot suddenly stopped mid sentence feeling Olivia's elbow in his ribs.

"What?" Paul asked softy trying to change positions in the chair, his body was sore and he didn't hear Elliot very well.

Elliot looked at Olivia who had a face that said, Shut up she hasn't told him yet. He blushed and offered a different storyline, "How does it feel to be fat man?"

Olivia and Casey laughed at Elliot's ridiculous try to save himself. They laughed even harder when Paul touched his abdomen, "It's hospital food man." He protested with a sheepish grin, "And it's not like I can work out." It was faint but Olivia could see him blush through the bruising of his face.

"Paul," Casey smiled taking his hand slowly into hers. She was regaining movement but slowly and painfully so. "I have something to tell you." She smiled softly at her husband.

Elliot wrapped his arm around Olivia's waist allowing her lean her head on his shoulder, they were about to witness a beautiful thing between their friends.

"What is it Casey?" he asked with a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"This isn't exactly how I pictured telling you," she laughed wondering if she looked like Frankenstein from having the fixator removed.

"Tell me what?" he squeezed her hand.

She rested his hand on her abdomen and smiled, "We're pregnant."

Paul stared like a deer caught in headlights.

Elliot laughed, "Paul…it's a good thing man."

"We're pregnant?" Paul whispered trying to make sense of what he just heard.

"Yeah," Casey whispered, "You and me…we're having a baby."

Paul beamed at his pregnant wife and stood slowly to kiss her lips softly, "Your beautiful." He whispered.

Olivia raised her head to Elliot who met her with happy kiss. She allowed him to hold her as she rested a hand on his chest watching the happiness of their friends unfold in front of them. Even in the most trying times, Elliot and Olivia managed to hang on to the smallest sliver of happiness.


	3. Chapter 3 Same Routine

Divided We Fall

Chapter 3 Same Routine

"Olivia, it's good to see you." Fin said standing from his desk and embracing her warmly. "We miss you." He assured her as he released his arms from around her and turned to shake Elliot's hand, "This one," Fin smiled pointing at Elliot, "We can do without out…but it's not the same without you Liv." He smiled picking up a file, "Got a lead on a case I need to check out," he nodded his head, "Captain is expecting you."

"Thanks Fin." Olivia smiled weakly. She and Elliot knew what awaited them once inside the Captain's office…involuntary leave of absence papers. She almost had to drag Elliot out of the house to come and sign the papers, knowing full well they'd done nothing wrong, an anger lay deep within them both not understanding the NYPD's decision.

"Elliot…Olivia." Cragen stood outside of his office, "Glad you came by." He offered a weak smile but even he knew his two top detectives were getting the shaft. He sat slowly in his desk chair with an impending file in front of him, "Close the door." He spoke somberly.

Elliot closed the door hard enough to send the message he was upset but not so rough as to cause a scene. They sat in their customary seating looking as stoically as possible.

"How are you two holding up?" Cragen asked softly.

Olivia attempted to be as diplomatic as possible until Elliot snapped cutting her off, "We're dealing. Where are the papers?" he was curt, irritated and Olivia recognized the borderline rage swimming in his eyes.

Cragen silently handed Olivia a file then Elliot, "I know it doesn't comfort you but they have some of the best detectives on it from the Queens SVU-"

"QUEENS!" Elliot barked, "What happened to Fin and Munch, why aren't they on the case anymore." He stood to his feet angry.

"Elliot." Cragen maintained a soft expression and compassionate voice knowing the circumstances were what was changing the man in front of him.

"NO!" He yelled back causing Olivia to stand and try to calm him.

"Elliot, it's not his fault." She shook her head pushing him gently back into his seat. She turned to face the Captain, "How long is the leave?"

Cragen lowered his gaze, "A year…minimum."

"WHAT!" They both exclaimed in unison shocked. They'd talked about it and braced themselves for a month…three at the max, but a year was unthinkable.

Olivia sat in shock as Elliot seethed in anger, "What's the real reason we're on leave?" he barked standing again. She made no motion to sooth him. The weight of the news kept her firmly in her seat.

"Sign the papers Elliot." Cragen whispered unwilling to look him in the eye.

Elliot stared at the man who he once thought of as a father and tremendous leader, now he was unsure of what he saw, "You're caving to someone…why?" Elliot asked in a slightly calmer rage.

"I'm not caving Elliot, I'm saving your jobs.'

"What?" Olivia finally spoke, "What's that suppose to mean?"

Cragen ran his hand over his bald head, "No one in this precinct is allowed anywhere near your case." He informed them, "They want your badges…I suggested the leave." He confessed.

"We didn't do anything to our son!" Elliot protested angrily.

"Elliot, no one is saying you did but-"

Olivia stood to her feet finally putting two and two together, "We're giving the department a black eye." She nodded in disbelief opening the file and angrily signing her name, "I gave this department eight years, I backed it for eight years, I sacrificed for eight years." She told him in anger.

Elliot signed his name so ferociously Don knew there would be a permanent imprint on his wooden desk, "You're wrong if you think I wouldn't protect my son." He snarled at Don.

"I'm not saying that-"

"I saw the damn paper!" he barked sliding the file back to Cragen, "It's implied." He growled then turned to leave.

"Stabler!" Cragen bellowed then calmed, "You know I need your badge and weapon." Elliot turned slowly staring bitterly at Cragen. He withdrew his service weapon in a fluid motin, using his thumb to release the magazine as he laid it softly on the desk. Continuing a death stare that caused Cragen to look away, he pulled the slide back ensuring the weapon was cleared before setting it down. Removing his badge he placed it next to his weapon, "When we needed the support of our own unit you folded like a spineless perp." He whispered turning away.

Cragen exhaled as Olivia rose and placed her gun and badge on the desk. "Olivia," Don tried to speak but was silenced when her hand was raised to him,

"Don," she fought back tears, "Don't make us regret the sacrifices we've made for this unit…or the force." She said simply before following an even more infuriated Elliot out of the office.

Olivia struggled to keep pace with him as they negotiated the stairs, she moved faster and then almost collided with him as he stopped at the base of the steps, "El?" she called his name more in frustration than anything else until she saw his clenched jaw, his protruding vein and balled fists. She followed his gaze to see Fin talking to a young man Olivia had recognized as a rookie cop that use to run the reception desk in the foyer. It was when Fin accused the Rookie of being the source of the leak to the papers that Elliot snapped and lost his control.

"Elliot, don't." She warned trying to hold his arm but he shrugged her off and crossed the hall turning the young rookie around.

"Elliot!" Fin scolded trying to separate his grasp, "He's done…fired."

Elliot jerked his clothing pulling him away from Fin's protection and slammed his fist into his face, "Not good enough!" he yelled pummeling the young, now ex-cop, into the wall with blow after blow until Olivia managed to wrap her arms around him and pull him away as he shouted over the fallen man, "I'll kill you if you come near us! You hear me? I will kill you!"

"Elliot!" Cragen's voice came from the stairs; "Get out of my precinct before I _keep_ your badge."

Elliot shrugged Olivia away and straightened his clothing looking at Cragen, "You can _shove_ my badge." He replied before forcefully opening the door to the precinct and walking outside. Olivia trotted to catch up with him just as he slipped into the passenger side of the car. She took a deep breath and slid into the driver's side.

They sat in silence starring out the windshield of the vehicle, they'd lost their son, they felt as though the leave of absence constituted them loosing their jobs and Olivia wondered if she would be loosing more. She eyed his hands that were already wounded from the tool shed and saw that they were bleeding much worse from his current inability to control his anger.

She attempted to touch his hand softly and was hurt when he pulled away violently and hissed, "Don't touch me."

She shook her head absently absorbing the cruelty of his words and stared out the window trying to determine what they meant. She started the car deciding to take him to the hospital without his permission and backed out slowly. Had she known that this would be the start of an out of control spiral into heartbreak she would have touched him in spite of his demands.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Pretty bad on the knuckles." The doctor raised his brows, "How'd it happen?"

"Just fix them." Elliot replied tired and too angry for ridiculous small talk.

The doctor looked at Olivia who exhaled deeply, "Please, he's had a long day." She whispered embarrassed by her husband's behavior.

The doctor cleaned the wounds listening to the hissing and cursing that came from Elliot as folds of busted skin were moved to accommodate iodine soaked gauze. "Looks like you'll need stitches." The doctor advised, "I'll send in a nurse practitioner to stitch you up." He informed them taking off the latex gloves and depositing them in the biohazardous wastebasket.

When the doctor exited, Olivis watched Elliot closely, he looked as though he'd aged five years in the last two weeks. She decided she would hold fast through the storm he tossed her way. Standing, she closed the gap between the two of them and stood in front of him taking his cheeks into her hand and feeling him withdraw from her touch.

Undaunted, she touched his face softly again and heard him protest, "Oliv-"

She whispered softly cutting him off, "Shut-up." She said wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him to her allowing him to rest on her shoulder, "I know you're hurting Elliot." She massaged the back of his neck with her fingertips, "I love you." She whispered into his ear then looked at him face-to-face and whispering through her tears "But you're scaring me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Olivia!" Elliot yelled from the bathroom startling her. She turned the stove off and placed the pan on a cool burner drying her hands before walking back to the bathroom not entirely sure she wanted to go. "Liv!" he barked again and she heard the frustration in his voice.

She stopped in the doorway of the restroom and smiled in pity at the state she found him. The gauzed wrappings around his hands and swollen wrists prevented precision movement in his fingertips and the wrapping was so bulky he couldn't get the sleeve of his dress shirt off. She looked at him to see he'd managed to unzip his pants but couldn't undo his belt. He tried to toe off his shoes but it looked as though he just damaged the back of the dress shoe. "Liv!" He barked again much more stress as he fought with his clothing.

"I'm right here Elliot." She fought to keep from laughing, knowing what he needed was compassion.

He exhaled in frustration, "Help me…please?"

Closing the gap between them she brought the rest of the shirt down and back over his body, realizing he hadn't loosened the tie. She untied it looking at him squarely in the eye before casting it to the floor and unbuttoning the cuffs of his sleeve pushing the shirt off of his shoulders. "Sit." She whispered motioning to the closed toilet lid. He did so, exhausted and embarrassed at his own behavior.

She kneeled in front of him and untied his shoes carefully removing them for him. He watched her move, the tenderness in her hands the pain in her eyes. He was certain there would be a special place in hell for him. "I'm an ass." He whispered as his form of an apology.

"Yes, you are." She told him casting his shoes and socks to the side and unbuckling his belt. "Stand up." She told him softly.

"I'm sorry." He confessed as she pulled his wallet out and set it on the counter.

"You should be." She pressed her lips together and timidly placed her hands on his chest. "I need you Elliot…you need me, we can't be divided right now." She whispered before lowering her hands and pulling his boxers down, allowing him to step out of his clothing.

"I miss him." He whispered.

Olivia rested her hands on the hem of his undershirt and swallowed the lump in her throat, "We both do." She whispered pulling the shirt over his head and turning to start the bath water, "You'll have to take a bath, the doctor said not to get your hands wet for forty-eight hours."

She held out her hand and helped him into the tub and provided herself as a crutch as he lowered himself into the water. "Come here." She informed him as she kneeled at the side of the tub and helped him maneuver in the tight space so that she was behind him.

She ran her soapy hands over his form careful of his bandages but ensuring he was properly cleaned. Rinsing was a little more complicated but she managed to get the soap off his body. Elliot sat in silence feeling his wife's hands over his body while she worked in compassion feeling the knots that made up his back.

Grabbing for the shampoo she placed a small amount in her hand and rubbed it gently through his short hair. As she rinsed him, careful not to get soap in his eyes, she felt his wrapped hand reach back and take a gentle hold of her forearm offering a soft squeeze that communicated a simple but meaningful, 'Thank you, I love you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Three months after laying their son to rest Olivia and Elliot had plummeted deeper into a darkness that neither seemed to be able to illuminate. While they still had good days, their world had been inverted in a moment…and never returned. Nightmares were frequent between the two of them and when Olivia wasn't vomiting from stress, Elliot seemed to be vomiting out of anger and frustration. The nights of falling asleep in one another's gentle embraces were few and far between yet there were times when Olivia listened to him cry as he slept on the couch and there were times he wanted to hold her as she wept bitterly until she fell asleep.

Both the tool shed and the kitchen window were eventually replaced and as far as making love to one another…the day they laid their son in his own black hole, was the last time they managed to connect with one another. Hanging on by a thread, their alarm clock sounded, dragging them both through another relentless day.

Olivia turned in a sleepy haze, "Today's they're big day huh?" she asked hoping today would be different, that he would embrace her and make love to her, knowing that he wouldn't.

"Yeah, we better get going." He mumbled flipping the covers back and attempting to leave the bed when she kneeled behind him caressing his arms softly and kissing him gently on the back of the neck.

She wanted nothing more for him to tell her he thought she was the same exotic creature he'd met and fell in love with, she wanted to tell him that she was still aroused by his touch, "Elliot-"

"Don't" he shook his head and left the bed that was once a safety net for the both of them.

Rejected and ashamed for not being able to love or be loved, when that was clearly what was needed, she stepped off the bed and blindly withdrew clothes from the closet. She moved on autopilot doing everything she normally would but not actually remembering having done it. She sat on the foot of the bed and waited for Elliot to walk out of the bathroom.

When he finally did walk out he looked at the bed, "Where are my clothes Olivia?"

Without so much as looking at him she stood to her feet to leave, "Get them yourself."

A little taken back by her remark he called out, "Olivia com-"

"I'll be in the car Elliot." She snapped and disappeared into the hallway.

She slipped into the driver's seat and retrieved the black sunglasses from the glove compartment and struggled to clear her thoughts, struggled to force her face into a fake resemblance of a smile…struggled not to cry and scream at the top of her lungs hoping someone, anyone, would here her cries of desperation.

She watched in horror as Elliot emerged from the house, brown slacks, yellow shirt and red tie. _What the hell?_ She shook her head in disbelief that someone could be so clueless. _It's not hard_, she thought to herself, _I arranged your friggin closet so you wouldn't have this problem you clueless, stubborn, sonova-…whatever._ He slid into the driver's seat and she felt a faint smile creep over her lips as she observed his tie, _hopeless. _

The rode in the same ceremonious silence they'd come to know. He concentrated on the rode, mumbled something about the road construction as they came into the city. She leaned back in the bucket seat knowing it would be another day without his touch…without the man she married.

He stepped out of the car, too ashamed of himselt to bring himself to help her out, to touch her even though he craved her. He walked slowly, hands in pockets head held low as they walked physically side by side but emotionally light years away.

"How long will you punish me for loosing him?" She asked softly, avoiding his stare as the elevator door closed.

"Excuse me?" he furrowed his brows in shock, "Olivia, I'm not punishing you, why would you think that?"

"You haven't so much as hugged me in three months Elliot." She reminded him softly afraid that if she spoke any louder she would yell her frustrations.

He extended his arms to embrace her but she stepped back pushing him away, "Don't"

"You asked me for a hug…I'm trying to hug you."

The anger was building, " I didn't _ask_ you for a hug Elliot!" she clenched her teeth, "I reminded you that you're _hurting_ me."

"I'm-"

"I don't need you to hold me out of guilt, I need you to hold me because you _want_ to." She bit her bottom lip as the elevator door opened. He shook his head softly not sure what to do and so he turned to leave.

"Elliot!" she exhaled in frustration, "Come here, please?"

He turned defeated, "What is it Oliv-"

Olivia rested her hands on his chest, silently remembering what it felt like to rest her head there as they slept. "Shhh." She quieted him gently and untied his sloppy knot fixing it gently then smoothing his shirt out over his shoulders. She stood on her tiptoes wrapping her hand around the back of his neck and whispering into his ear, "I still love you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

With fake smiles plastered firmly in place Elliot opened the door allowing Olivia to walk into the physical therapy room. 

"Hey!" Casey smiled and waved her hands excitedly as she pushed the wheels of her wheelchair over to her guest, "I'm glad you came." She let out a small chuckle as she and Paul exchanged greetings with Elliot and Olivia.

"Well, you're certainly looking better…how's work treating you?" Olivia asked Paul who was grinning.

"Pretty good, pretty good." He laughed, "I'm a little worried about getting time off to be with Casey when I finally get to take her home." He smiled.

"Alright, with the mushy stuff guys." Elliot grinned half fake and if Olivia looked hard enough, half truly caring. "What is so important that you drug us down here so early on our _year_ off."

His reference to the their leave of absence caused a gentle laughter and Olivia was glad to see he still had a tinge of his humor…no matter how much crap she had to look past to find it.

"Well," Paul smiled, "I think Casey wants to show you." He smiled as she wheeled herself over to two parallel bars that had soft matting at the bottom.

"Show us what?" Olivia smiled watching Casey line her chair up between the bars as Paul walked along the other side stopping when he arrived standing directly in front of her.

"Patience never was your virtue Olivia." Casey smiled, and then slowly braced herself on the arms of the wheel chair and struggled to lift her body out of the seat as Paul wrapped his arm around her waist allowing her to grasp the railings.

Elliot and Olivia stood stunned seeing Casey take slow deliberate steps while Paul walked backward carefully ready to grab her in case she fell at any given point. While both Elliot and Olivia had visited frequently, Casey hadn't mentioned that they had started to teach her to walk again. Olivia grinned seeing the determination in Casey's face and then the exhaustion as she finally returned to the wheel chair.

"Casey!" Olivia leaned down and embraced her tightly, "That is so amazing…how much longer until your raring to go again?"

"Um," Casey thought to her self then looked at Paul, "What was it? Three months?"

"Possibly two." He smiled encouraging her to relax.

"It's really great to see that you're getting better Casey." Elliot smiled, "How's the little one?" He motioned to Casey's abdomen.

"The doctor's say he-"

"Or she." Paul chimed in.

"Is doing well." She smiled and took a mental note of the two of her friends before her. The normal scene of some type of physical closeness between the two was lost; Olivia's eyes told her she was hurting, feeling a deeper pain that just loosing her son. Elliot, while trying to be stoic had lost weight and was as thin as she'd ever remembered seeing him. There was a since of shame in his eyes and as she continued to watch their interaction, or lack thereof, she saw that it was the first time she'd never seen them look one another in the eyes for the entire visit.

Paul talked with Elliot about the positive out look for Casey while he watched Olivia and Casey interact with one another.

"Casey smiles when you two come." He told Elliot.

"She doesn't smile otherwise?" He asked a little confused.

"Sure she does, but it's different when you two are here…she blames herself." Paul informed him softly.

"Why?"

"We'll, if she and I hadn't sent you two away…your son would be here and we would both be raising our kids together." He said looking back at the two women who were laughing about something.

"It's not your guys' fault." Elliot assured him softly.

Paul shook his head, "When Olivia comes, it let's Casey know there's a possibility of forgiveness."

"You can't forgive what you don't harbor." Elliot smiled faintly, "Besides, trust me when I say she doesn't blame you two she-" Elliot stopped immediately processing the thought that threatened to come out.

"She what?" Paul asked softly encouraging him to talk.

Elliot lowered his head, "She blames herself and there are days when I know…she blames me."

Paul was about to void Elliot's theory when Elliot reached for his ringing phone drawing Olivia's attention to him as he answered it and turned his back toward her. "This is Elliot." He answered knowing it wouldn't be anyone from work. "Finally." He exhaled, "When can I pick it up?…that's fine…thirty minutes…bye."

Olivia furrowed her brows as she walked closer to him, "What's up?" She fought to sound normal, not wanting to add concern to Casey.

"Huh?" He spun around trying to stall for time.

"The phone." She reminded him with a slight roll of her eyes.

"Ah, yeah, I have to get going." He apologized to Casey and Paul, "I forgot I had…something to do." He tossed the keys to Olivia, "I'll take a cab see you at home." He smiled faintly and barely allowed his body to brush past hers as he left.

Olivia exhaled knowing she was being pushed further and further away. Paul looked at Casey who was returning an equally confused expression with the strange interaction between the two.

"You two okay?" Casey asked softly seeing Olivia's misty eyes as she bit her lip.

"Oh, yeah!" Olivia faked a smile, "So tell me," she tried to avoid the subject of she and Elliot, "Have you thought of any baby names?"

"Hey you know what?" Paul said kissing the crown of Casey's head, "I'm gonna get a soda, want anything?"

"No."

"No." Olivia smiled declining the offer as Paul shuffled out of the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Elliot!" Paul exclaimed walking out of the office and onto the sidewalk.

"What is it?" Elliot tried to sound friendly, "I'm a little pressed for time."

"It's your wife." Paul said folding his arms over his chest.

"What? Is she okay?" Elliot asked feeling a tinge of fear.

"You tell me." Paul fired back out of concern.

"Excuse me."

"Come on Elliot, you don't see how much pain she's in…what the hell is going on between you two?"

Elliot narrowed his brows trying to suppress the anger the was threatening to boil over, "It's personal."

"We love you two like you're our family." Paul told him, "That means when one of you is hurting we want to help."

"Were fine Paul."

"Right, that's why you couldn't even look at her." He stood undaunted as Elliot inched closer to him looking at him in the eye.

"What do you want?" Elliot clenched his jaw.

"I want you to pay attention to your wife, man." Paul said slightly irritated with Elliot's proximity, "I know I haven't know you guys for a long time, but you're my friends as well as Casey's and you need to talk to your wife Elliot before things start to separate you two…for good."

"You mean like how you talked to Casey after she lost your baby?" Elliot smirked, "Calling the kettle black aren't you."

Paul, normally anti confrontation, took a step forward until he stood almost chest to chest with Elliot. "I' m going to ignore that fact that you just took a low blow." He spoke evenly, "But I am speaking from my own experience…if you don't talk to Olivia…I mean really talk to her…you'll loose her." He took another step forcing Elliot back, "Just like I lost Casey."

Elliot took a step forward unable to make Paul budge but remained close to him refusing to give up a pissing match, "Stay the hell away from me." He growled then walked away disappearing into the hustle and bustle of the city.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Several hours later Elliot hadn't come home nor did he bother to call her to let her know where he was. She on the other hand, found herself sitting in front of the computer paying bills. She had finally found the time to set up online bill payments and found it entirely much easier than writing out checks, buying stamps, and hoping they got in the mail on time.

She ran her finger along a list of passwords and usernames for each account as she continued the process. It was the second to the last bill that caused her to furrow her brows. A credit card that normally had a zero balance every month suddenly required an almost two hundred dollar payment. "What the hell?" She sputtered out loud and then left clicked on 'View Statement'. She stopped to see that there had already been two payments made on the account from the previous months. "What did you buy?" She spoke out loud knowing she didn't buy anything. She looked at the balance, "Five thousand dollars!" she barked at the screen, "What the hell is his problem?" she continued to ask the computer questions as if it would respond.

With one more click she discovered where the charge was made, "NYC pet hospital?" she narrowed her brows trying to think over the last months then remembering that Elliot said he had to pick up Sammuel's K-9, while she accepted it at first it dawned on her that it simply couldn't be true because the department would have paid for it, not Sammuel…and certainly not Elliot.

Olivia went to the yellow pages website and typed in 'NYC Pet Hospital, NYC, NY.' She pressed enter and in a matter of seconds a phone number came up to which she quickly dialed.

"Hi, my name is Olivia Stabler, my husband was in there," She squinted her eyes at the screen to see the date of the transaction, "July 22." She finally said, "He couldn't remember what the amount was that he spent can you tell me please?" There was definitely more than one detective in the house. "Five thousand six hundred dollars and forty three cents." She repeated and in spite of the rush of anger she tried to sound appreciative for the woman's help while she made a mental note to kill her husband. "Okay and he asked me if you could send the paperwork via fax?"

There was a short silence as Olivia's jaw fell agape, "What do you mean he picked up the report today?" she asked narrowing her brows as the woman explained that Elliot had swung by earlier and picked it up. She acted quickly, "Huh. We'll could you do me a favor and send it to me anyway, I don't want him to think I neglected his request…you know how that can go." She offered a fake laugh before giving the fax number to the woman.

After hanging up the phone Olivia folded her arms seething at Elliot while she waited impatiently for the fax to come through. Eventually the fax machine rang and Olivia found herself standing in front of it watching in confusion as the she picked up the first page, "K-9 Autopsy Findings." She muttered not understanding what she was looking at until the second, third; fourth and eventually the end of the fax came.

Olivia flipped through the pages in anger of what she saw. If Elliot ever got home…she was going to kill him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It wasn't the opening or closing of the front door in the middle of the night that woke Olivia up rather it was the sound of someone pounding on the door shortly after it was closed. She pulled her body up from the bed and peered sleepily out the curtains to see a cab in the driveway. Looking back at the bed and taking note that her husband was still AWOL she threw on her robe and walked quickly to the front door finding Elliot stumbling carelessly around in the foyer.

"Elliot?" She furrowed her brows helping him straighten himself, "Who's at the door?" she asked leading him to the couch as the pounding continued. There was a familiar smell on him that she didn't like but under the circumstances didn't try to define.

"I dooon't carrre whoze at…door." He slurred as she suddenly recognized the strong odor of alcohol that seemed to permeate from his body.

Angry, she shoved him harshly into his chest fighting her own tears, "Damn you!" she hissed before walking away to answer the door.

"Heeeeya," She heard him call for her as she unlocked the door, "Shhhe hidt meee."

"Can I help you?" Olivia asked out of patience.

"Well, you can start by paying the hundred and four bucks that drunk owes me." The cabbie barked.

"A hundred and,-" Olivia was stunned, "Where the hell did you take him?"

The cabbie started to raise his voice, "I go where they tell me lady."

"First of all," Olivia pointed at the cabbie then retrieved her wallet from her purse on the table top in the foyer, "do not ever, raise your voice at me." She scolded him as she scrounged in her pocket book pulling out a fifty dollar bill and two fives. She thrust him the money vaguely aware that one of the fives had dropped from his hand, "Secondly," She said walking angrily back to Elliot and tipping his drunken body over to his side to pull his wallet out before returning, "don't just friggin pound on my damn door." She spat angrily, "That's what they make doorbells for." She snapped back empting Elliot's wallet and angrily holding out another twenty dollars.

"Your short twenty-four bucks." He dared to remind her.

Olivia narrowed her eyes at the cabbie, "That's what you get for picking up a drunk!" she barked as she slammed the door shut and promptly locked it. She rested her hands on her hips with her forehead against the door until she heard the cab start and pull out from the driveway. Relieved he didn't push her for the rest of the cash she turned around and exhaled deeply.

Elliot moaned as he rolled off of the couch and stood to his feet entirely too fast and subsequently puking in the middle of the living room. The sounds let her know what had happened without her having to see the actually act. She leaned against the front door and allowed her head to hit it lightly as she closed her eyes in frustration, "Shit."

It was the loud thud of Elliot slipping in his own vomit and landing square on his back that forced her from the door into the living room. "Get up." She offered her hand to him as he struggled to his feet. "Sit down." She motioned to the coffee table and when he didn't immediately oblige she forced him down by his shoulders.

"Hey…dats ruff." He said trying to bring his surroundings into focus.

"Just wait until your sober." She snapped back pulling his shoes off without untying them. "Watch your step I don't want that all over the house." She warned him taking him by the elbow and forcing him down the hall to the shower.

Cursing like a sailor. Thats what she would have said she was doing as she turned the water to the shower on waiting for it to warm then decided he deserved it cold. She turned the handle over to blue and turned to see him ready to vomit again. She dodged and led him quickly to the toilet allowing him to do the act for which he would suffer her wrath in the morning.

Violently. That's the way he would have described the way she undressed him…if he was able to remember it anyway. She quickly pulled on the tie knot and released it from his neck secretly wanting to choke him with it before casting it to the floor. She unbuttoned his shirt quickly despising the fact that his vomit was on her fingertips and saturated into her robe. She cast his clothes into the corner undid his belt and pants before angrily grabbing him by the arms and shoving him into the shower closing the door before he could protest to the water's temperature.

Incredible hurt. That's what she would have told you she felt when she found herself putting the booze and vomit stained clothes of her husband in the washing machine. She added the soap and closed the lid turning the knob, half expecting there to be a setting for "Sloppy Drunk." But satisfied with the normal settings. She pushed the knob in and rested her elbows on the washing machine allowing her face to rest in her palms.

Growing up, she found herself waking up in the middle of the night to undress her mother during a drunken stupor. She remembered how she had to clean up the puddles of vomit from the carpet and how she knew that subconsciously that's why she hated carpeted floors. She cried silent tears as the washing machine filled to capacity knowing that today, years after her mother, she was doing the exact same routine…with her husband.

A/N" Okay normally I don't suggest Fan Fic's but every now and again something great gets tossed my way and I want to share the joy so write this down boys and girls…if you're over eighteen. the story your looking for is called Nymph and it puts a spin on Olivia that is pretty interesting it's pretty well written and I think you'll enjoy it. PEACE.


	4. Chapter 4 I Saw it Coming

Divided We Fall

Chapter 4 I Saw It Coming

A/N Hang in their guys...I know right know the story line is dark but have a little faith in me, but know that before there can be peace...there must be war.

By the way...in all my wisdom i forgot to give you the link to the story I mentioned...it's at the end of this chapter. PEACE.

Olivia took the punch that caused her to spin around and fall completely flat on her face. "Your out of shape." Came the voice.

"Apparently." She shook her head and stood to her feet, "Then again I haven't sparred in a little over a year."

"Excuses." Ricky laughed, "I've seen you nail people before, lets see it again, let's go." He smiled slapping his gloves together and dancing on his feet on the canvas, "Come on Benson."

Olivia smiled at her old friend, "It's Stabler now." She danced and threw a single punch just Ricky dropped his hands in shock. Leaning over him she smiled and offered a hand, "Your still a sucker for gossip."

Ricky swept her feet out from under her causing her to fall with a thud on her back, "And you still stand to close to the attacker." He smiled, "What's going on with you Olivia?" he stood to his feet and helped her up.

"Why would something be wrong?" she asked taking off her hand guards and tossing them to her feet.

"Come on Olivia I haven't seen you in what? Four years…then you show up at my gym wanting to spar…you haven't spared since that chic knocked you out." He chuckled.

"First of all," She arched her brows shocked that he would bring that up, "that was an illegal knee to the back of my head…a very painful illegal knee." She shook her head with a blushing smile. "Secondly," She exhaled looking at her watch, "I have something I need to do this morning and I wanted to make sure I was tired."

"Who you looking to kill?" He smirked knowing the only time she wanted to spar to wear her self out was when someone was going to experience her wrath.

"You still know me huh?" She shook her head and squeezed water from the bottle into her mouth.

"After all these years…I still consider you my friend Olivia…stop by more often…I'll show you a thing or two." He laughed delivering a play punch to her abdomen.

"Yeah…just wait until I'm back in the game Ricky, you'll be making love to the mat."

"Tuesdays…five in the morning."

"Well, you sure know how to give a girl a heart attack." She laughed and looked at her watch, "It's a deal…I have way too much time on my hands anyway."

"No one to occupy it?" he furrowed his brows.

"My husbands a good man." She averted his glance knowing he could read her.

"But?"

Olivia ran her hands through her sweaty hair, "I have to go, I'll see you next Tuesday's."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Get up." Olivia stood at the foot of the bed trying to control her anger.

"Olivia." Elliot groaned, "What time is it?"

"Time for you to get up." She managed to maintain a low voice but couldn't hide the snap.

"I have a headache." He said trying to cover his face.

"No." she said curtly taking hold of the comforter and pulling it off of his body, "You have a hangover because you were to stupid to call it a night at the bar."

"I am not drunk."

"I didn't say you were." She replied pulling the sheet off of him to find he had crawled into bed in nothing more than boxers, "I said you had a hangover."

"Olivia not now." He moaned and then was startled when she thrust the report the veterinarian had faxed to her into his chest.

"Get. Up. Now." Her patience was running thin.

Elliot blinked his eyes and stared at the report, "Olivia, it's no-"

"Do not think I'm stupid Elliot!" she desperately tried to keep her anger cooled but knew it was slowly heating. She turned and walked out of the room.

Elliot jumped out of the bed standing too quick and moaning at the throbbing pain in his head. "Olivia!" he chased after her "Let me explain!"

"Explain!" she barked back leaning the back of her thighs against the kitchen table, "Explain to me how you thought it was okay to keep this from me!" she was on the verge of yelling as she ripped the report out of his hands. "Explain how you thought it was okay not to tell me that CrackerJack was poisoned with antifreeze."

"Olivia-"

"Don't you think that was important to Isaac's death?"

Elliot seethed, "Don't you think I know it was!" his vein was pulsating in his throat.

"Why didn't you tell me!" she finally yelled, "Why did you leave me in the dark for three God forsaken months Elliot!"

"I didn't know it was going to take so long!" he defended himself, "I dug up the dogs and took them in-"

"The tool shed. The shovel." She folded her arms letting the memory come to her, "The phone book…DAMIT ELLIOT! I asked you!"

"I had to lie!"

"Bullshit!" she shoved his naked shoulder, "Don't play that card with me! Sombody killed our dogs to get to Isaac don't you understand that Elliot?" she shrieked.

He grabbed her by the shoulders shaking her just enough to make her listen, "Of course I know that damn it." He yelled then let her go, "But I had to be sure…I didn't want to stress you out more."

"Oh stop it!" she said irritated with his machismo. "Don't you think Queens SVU should have known this? It's a lead Elliot!"

'Oli-"

"It's about our son Elliot," Her voice lowered, "You had no right to keep me in the dark."

" I did what I had to do!" he growled at her.

Before she could tell her body not to, she slapped him…hard. She shocked him…she shocked herself. Her tears threatened to fall as she clenched her jaw in a mixture of frustration, anger, hurt and need, "Don't ever keep something about Isaac from me again."

Elliot brought his hand to his lip, thankful there wasn't blood, but knowing if she'd really wanted to nail him he'd be bleeding. He looked at her intently; she was frustrated, hurt and enraged all at the same time. When she turned to leave he grabbed her sharply by the wrist and spun her to him grabbing her by the biceps.

She looked at him, surprised that he would be so rough with her, "Let me go." Her voice was calm.

"No." he said simply.

"Now." She ordered in a slightly weaker voice. He forced her back allowing her head to hit gently onto the wall, "Elliot." She swallowed, "You can't do this and expect everything to be fine between us."

"Then what can I do Olivia?" he responded softening his grip but keeping her pinned between him and the wall.

Absurdly, in spite of everything they'd gone through in the last three months they wanted to be with one another. Perhaps they'd lost the gentleness they would normally engage one another in… but there was still want and they wouldn't argue with want.

"Stop drinking." She whispered averting her gaze from him.

"I'm not a drunk."

"I don't want you to become one." She whispered back knowing he was inching his way closer to her body.

"I won't"

"Elliot," She tried to break his grasp but gave up and looked at him mustering all of the firmness she could find, "We agreed. No alcohol."

"It was a one time thing."

"You're lying again."

"No I'm not."

"The day you beat the tool shed…the car was crooked, I did the laundry…you'd been drinking." She exhaled, "I grew up with an alcoholic Elliot…I know all the tricks…you won't win."

"I don't want to loose you." He whispered softly.

"I'm not hiding from you." She rested her hands on his naked chest.

"I've wanted you."

"I haven't denied you." She shuddered feeling him rub gently into her.

"Let me have you." He said kissing her along her neck pressing her harder against the wall.

"I never said you couldn't." she struggled to maintain her composure but was slowly loosing it as he nipped at her cleavage. "Please Elliot, no more drinking." She closed her eyes feeling his lips caress her collarbone as he ran his hand up the back of her shirt.

"I promise." He whispered before grabbing her hipbones and forcing her back into the wall. There was something primal happening between the two of them, something intense that neither knew what to do with. He pulled at her track pants down with a hungriness that was borderline forcefulness.

"Don't make me feel cheap." She cautioned him, not exactly sure what she meant but knowing she was starting to feel less valuable to him. He backed away slightly and ran his hands up her ribs removing her shirt and letting it fall until he leaned into her again kissing her with a want and aching desire to have her that neither he nor she was aware one could possess.

She wrapped her legs around his waist moaning from the sensation of his tongue over hers but hearing her own moans turn into whimpers at his harsh touch. She broke away panting softly, "You're hurting me."

"I just want you." He replied loosing his grip rubbing his hands up her back unhooking her bra and pulling it off of her body. He pushed them both off of the wall and walked with her wrapped around his body. He kneeled on the bed with her still wrapped around him. "I miss you."

"I never left." She arched her back as he licked a trial between her breasts down to her belly button.

"What happened to us?" he whispered returning to her breasts and taking her nipple into his mouth.

She arched her body even higher insisting on closer contact, "You pushed me away." She moaned.

"I didn't know what to do." He murmured over her skin and watched her tilt her head back as he quickly inserted two fingers into her without making sure she was ready. He watched her gasp as she forced her body to adjust before he moved within her quickly, harder than he normally would but anxious to see her come.

"Elliot," she swallowed at the shock of his actions as well as the pleasure they caused, "Not rough…I can't." she whispered.

He withdrew slowly letting her body calm as he stood. "Hold on."

"Excuse me?"

"I'll be right back." He whispered disappearing into the restroom and then reemerging and shutting the lights off.

She braced herself for the erotic pleasure of feeling him drag his length along her leg while he hovered over her but it never happened. She gasped feeling him at her entrance then suddenly moving into her watching her wince and hold tightly to him moaning as her body painfully yet pleasurably accepted him.

It was when he moved though that she felt it…a completely different sensation than what she knew to be him. "Elliot." She stopped pressing her palm against his chest.

"What's wrong…too rough?" he asked kissing her forehead.

"Elliot, are you wearing a _condom_?" She incredulously.

"Yes. Why?" he felt himself decreasing with the conversation.

"Why are you wearing a condom…we've never done that." She furrowed her brows.

"Do we have to talk about it right now?" he exhaled, "Come on Olivia, we haven't made love in months."

"I'm aware of that…why are you wearing a condom?"

"Damnit Olivia." He exhaled "Please just be with me." He tried to kiss her but she pushed him away and then off.

"You didn't even discuss wearing a condom with me." She said sitting up and pulling the sheet over her breasts.

"You're making a mountain out of a mole hill Olivia." He offered a weak smile trying to reveal her breasts.

Olivia held firmly to the sheet, "Married people wear condoms…when they don't want kids." She tried to focus on his face, "What are you trying to tell me?"

"Your over reacting Olivia."

"Your lying." She called him out again, "Want are you trying to tell me Elliot?" She asked softer.

Elliot, frustrated, stood up and removed the condom, "Is this what you want?" he asked exasperated tossing it into a wastebasket. "There!" he held out his hands to expose his now soft erection. She shook her head in frustration as he yelled again, "That's what you want isn't it Olivia? For me to tell you that I can't bring myself to have another kid…that I don't want to ever think about it again!" he barked.

Olivia pulled herself out of the bed still clothed in the sheet and walked to her closet pulling on a pair of jeans without care of panties and a shirt without care of a bra.

"Where are you going?" he asked in defeat knowing he'd crossed the line.

Olivia angrily flicked her hair out of the shirt and spun around on her bare feet.

"Olivia!" he quickly donned his boxers and ran after her as she pulled her keys from the countertop. He grabbed her elbow and spun her to him again trying to kiss her trying anything to keep her from leaving but when she mustered her strength she pushed him as forcefully as she could away from her body.

When he tried to come back she shoved him harder watching him struggle to keep her balance. "Do. Not. Touch me." She warned him sternly as she backed closer to the front door.

"Olivia," his voice was begging, "Please, what do you want?" he asked her.

"Are you kidding me?" She asked incredulous, "Have you even been listening to me for the past three months?" She yelled, "I WANT MY HUSBAND BACK!" her voice went hoarse before ending the sentence.

"Oliv-"

"Don't" she shook her head trying to hold her tears at bay, "Just don't."

Before he could say anything else she turned and walked out the door. Within a matter of seconds Elliot heard the V-8 engine of her Mustang roar to life and then the screeching of her tires as she left. He rested his head on the door. "I love you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Olivia!" Alex smiled then quickly frowned, "Where's your shoes?" She looked closer taking notice of her disheveled state, "What's wrong?" She asked pulling her softly into the apartment.

"Nothing." Olivia tried to smiled, "I just wanted to see how you were doing, I haven't talked to you for awhile-"

"Alex, who's at the door sweetie?" Came a voice that caused Alex to blush.

"Come out here Robert I want you to meet a good friend." Alex smiled and offered an apologetic smile to Olivia who quickly ran her hands through her hair and then folded her arms across her chest remembering she wasn't wearing a bra.

"Robert Gray this is Olivia Ben…err…Stabler, and Olivia this is Robert." Alex smiled as he embraced her and kissed the crown of her head.

"I've heard a lot about you Mr. Gray." Olivia smiled offering a weak handshake.

"Ah, I've heard all things positive about you Mrs. Stabler and please, call me Robert." He smiled shaking her hand.

"If you'll call me Olivia." She responded retrieving her hand and standing nervously knowing she must look terrible and they were definitely looking at her.

"Alex," He smiled and kissed her cheek, "I've got to go pick up that thing." He called her over to the door with a nod of his head.

"She looks like she needs a friend." He whispered kissing Alex softly.

"What about tonight?" Alex reminded him of their plans, "Can we cancel if she needs me?"

"Absolutely." He smiled, "Let me know how things go." He pulled her close to the strength of his body and kissed her gently, softly before breaking away, "I love you."

"I love you." She blushed at his words and opened the door giving him one last peck on the cheek before he left and she closed the door.

"Olivia, I got to tell ya-" Alex stopped, seeing Olivia sitting on her couch elbows digging into the top of her thighs her hands covering her face like a teepee leaving only her watery eyes visible.

Alex sat next to her silently and rubbed her back gently knowing that with Olivia small acts of comfort were what mattered, nothing overt, nothing sappy, just letting her know she wasn't alone. After a few minutes Alex decided to broach conversation, "I didn't really think Robert was _that_ bad looking of a guy." She smiled feeling Olivia's shoulder rise and fall with a gentle laugh.

"Robert looks like he drank milk all of his life." Olivia laughed, "You picked a nice looking boy there Alex." She teased to stop herself from thinking about Elliot.

"What's going on Olivia?" She asked gently.

Olivia closed her eyes and clenched her jaw, "I'm loosing everything." She whispered surprised that she would be so easily open.

"I can't imagine what it feels like to loose your baby Olivia, but I can tell you that you can stay here as long as you like." She assured her. "Where's Elliot?" she asked knowing Olivia wasn't going to voluntarily bring him up.

She shook her head in frustration, "Home, I had to leave."

"Home…or him?"

"He's pushing me so far away." She shook her head, "Oh, Alex I'm sorry to bust in on you like this…did I ruin something for you."

"Na…Robert needed to go to school…parents night." She lied but there was no need to make Olivia feel even worse. "How about this…let's go pick up some movies and munchies and then we'll get entirely too fat and bloated."

Olivia laughed, "Sounds like a deal but,"

"But what? Come on Liv."

"You don't understand, when I left all I took was my keys, I can't go out again like this." She said pointing to the fact she was braless.

"No problem, I got sneakers you can wear and I'll grab a sweater of Robert's for you." She smiled.

"He had clothes here." Olivia teased, "Just how close are you two."

Alex smiled "Close."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

By ten O'clock in the evening Olivia hadn't made her way home and Elliot found him self calling various people…drunk. He called Fin first asking for her, and then went to Munch. In desperation he'd tried Cragen and swallowing his drunken pride he tried Paul to which he received a few choice words and then hung up on Paul.

He squinted at the numbers on the sheet realizing how hard it was to read small font and dial at the same time when you were drunk.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia found herself laughing hysterically at the movie while taking shots of ready whipped cream into her mouth, "Thank God for aerosol can's." she laughed squirting more into her mouth then searching for the remote to mute the television when the phone rang. Alex jumped up taking the bowl of popcorn with her as she answered the phone. Olivia watched as she walked into the bedroom to finish the call and then returned much tamer than she'd left.

"You okay?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, that was the ADA from New Jersey…Old friend."

"Old lover?" Olivia teased.

"Hardly, he wanted advise on a case."

"Yeah? Can you offer a nosey detective some interesting details…been out of the field for a long time." She smiled.

"Grave robbers."

"Bull!"

"No serious, the corner's office in Jersey is under investigation for selling corpses to underground lab's and engineering research facilities, it's disgusting." She shook her head.

"The world never ceases to amaze me with how sick the perps get." Olivia shook her head and then moaned.

"What?"

"I love whipped cream…whipped cream hates me." She smiled.

"Go to bed." Alex laughed, "You look like crap anyway." She smiled at Olivia's injured look.

"I'm hurt." Olivia offered a plural statement.

"You'll heal." Alex countered with a duality she hoped Olivia would understand. When Olivia's eyes watered she knew she had. "Take the spare room." She gave her a friendly embrace and turned to answer the phone again. "Geez I'm popular tonight." She laughed, watching Olivia walk away.

"Hello?" She answered the phone and quickly pulled it away form her ear and from the loud voice on the other side, "Elliot?" She asked, "Yes, she's here…not you can't talk to her…because your obviously drunk…I'm not going to put her through that Elliot…Elliot, I'm gonna let that go because your wasted, but all you need to know is that she's safe…goodbye Elliot." She hung up the phone and shook her head.

"That was Elliot wasn't it?" Olivia asked from the hall.

Alex turned to see her, "Yeah…I told him you were okay."

"He was drunk wasn't he?" Olivia asked softly.

Alex closed the gap between the two, "I'm sorry Olivia."

Olivia shook her head softly, "I saw it coming."

Alex embraced her, "Get some rest Olivia, it's going to be okay."

http/ 

You may need to cut and paste.


	5. Chapter 5 Or Never Again

Divided We Fall

Chapter 5 Or never again.

A/N: All right, I had to change the story arc drastically because I got a lot of emails that it was too dark. Originally this was supposed to go on for a lot longer…crazy things were suppose to happen but alas…I changed my mind. Have fun…be patient as I integrate a new storyline.

Alex fumbled around in the dark refusing to raise her sleeping head from the pillow but needing to find the phone nonetheless. She looked at the caller I.D. and furrowed her brows before looking at her watch, "Four O'clock in the morning." She groaned and answered before the ringing woke Olivia up.

"What do you want Elliot…it's early, I have work in the morning." She complained. She knew he wanted desperately to talk to Olivia but until he started thinking like the Elliot Stabler she knew, there was no way she would expose Olivia to him.

"Please." His voice sounded a little more sober than when he called two hours earlier, "I need to talk to Olivia."

"I just went to bed an hour ago," she informed him. "Would you like to know why?" she asked sarcastically.

He exhaled, "Why?"

"I have a friend in my spare room who wakes up crying every thirty minutes." She was curt feeling upset at his seeming lack of care for Olivia. "I listen to her try to muffle herself because she's to stubborn to let me comfort her." She sat up finding herself on a good rant.

"Why is she crying?" Elliot asked already knowing the answer.

"Are you that stupid?" She asked insulted by his question. "Maybe it has something to do with her husband turning into a complete ass!"

"Alex, let me talk to my wife!"

"Elliot, you're a friend, I love you, but you have no to right to do this to her."

"Alex…let me talk to her." He was starting to loose his patience.

"Elliot," she spoke matching his anger but letting her words come a little fierce, "Out of all the things you chose to hurt her with…you chose _alcohol_." She paused for a second to let the meaning of her words sink in. "You of all people probably know more about her childhood than we ever will…what the hell are you thinking?" she hissed.

"Is she okay? Can you please just tell me if she's okay?" He asked defeated.

"She's safe, she's warm and she's being taken care of…is she okay…most likely no." she informed him knowing that physically Olivia was just fine but emotionally…well she'd never seen Olivia this way before.

"Alex-"

"Elliot," She cut him off, "Let me tell you something, Olivia is a strong woman…but you just might be the end of her if you don't get your crap together."

"Will you tell her good night for me?" He asked her softly over the phone.

"Elliot," Alex softened her self, knowing he was in pain from loosing Isaac and knowing it would be a tight rope of tough love and unending compassion to make sure he and Olivia survived this. "She doesn't have clothes or money…pack a bag for her, I'll pick it up tomorrow after work."

"Thank you."

"She has her cell phone by the bed, last time I checked on her I noticed it was on…if she wants to talk to you…I suppose she'll answer it." She offered him softly.

"Alex, I'm sorry I woke you…again."

"Get some rest Elliot, I'll see you tomorrow." Alex hung up the phone and curled back into the comfort of her bed then listened closely as she heard the familiar ring tone of Olivia's cell phone sound off. _When they get past this_, she thought to herself, _I'm going to kill both of them for the lack of sleep_. She smiled realizing the phone had only ringed once. The question was, did she answer it or did she ignore it?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hello?" Olivia answered the phone groggily.

"Olivia, it's me." His voice was soft and surprisingly sober. "Did I wake you?"

Olivia sat up in the bed that wasn't hers and smiled softly. No matter how angry she was with him she still loved him and she still wanted to hear his voice, "It's okay…I couldn't sleep."

"Olivia…please come home."

She closed her eyes and bowed her head into her palm, "I can't Elliot…I need time."

Elliot exhaled, "I wanted to tell you goodnight." He whispered trying to keep the lump in his throat at bay.

Olivia bit her lip and wiped a tear away quickly as if someone could see her, "Goodnight Elliot." She said in a whisper before hanging up the phone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Alex, thanks for coming." Elliot offered a weak smile through a shabby beard of growth as he opened the door to let her in.

"She needs clothes." Alex offered letting him know she wasn't there for him at the moment.

He shook his head softly understanding what she was saying, "I'll get her bag." He lowered his head and retreated down the hall.

Alex looked around the house that Olivia had prided her self on keeping spotless…she would have a fit if she'd seen the mound of dishes, that were un doubtably growing something on them, the dirty clothes draped over the couch and splashed about the house. "Ever heard of housework Elliot?" She called to him down the hall.

"No reason for it." He yelled back pitifully.

Alex smiled softly noticing the couch had been made into a bed and directly across from it was a picture of Elliot and Olivia holding their son the first day they'd brought him home. Her smile faded quickly seeing the empty beer cans and bottles of Jack strewn about. Olivia would have a heart attack.

Elliot reemerged with a duffel bag in hand and placed them at the door retrieving his wallet, "I went to the bank and got her some cash." He mumbled pulling out all the money from his wallet and transferring it into Olivia's pocket book before placing it in the duffel bag. "She started to read a book the other day…it's in there, socks," His face grew darker as he spoke, "she stepped on some glass outside, there's a wrapping for her foot…she'll be too stubborn to put it on." He closed his eyes. "Her favorite shirt is-"

Alex finally got a glimpse of the real Elliot Stabler; he loved his wife, wanted her desperately but just didn't know how to get to her. "Elliot," Alex smiled in compassion and embraced him warmly, "It's going to be okay, you guys are going to get through it." She encouraged him tightening her embrace, "She just needs some time to process what's happening."

"She said she wouldn't leave me." He whispered on the verge of crying.

"She hasn't left you Elliot, she's just trying to get strong to help you along." She gave one final squeeze and stepped back, "When is the last time you took a shower?"

Elliot exhaled and tried to remember.

"Uggh, if you have to think about it, I don't want to know." She smiled. "It's gonna be okay."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alex tossed her car keys on the counter noticing Olivia's were in the exact same spot, in fact, there was no sign she was even in the house. She walked to the door of the bedroom Olivia was staying in and knocked softly, "Olivia, it's Alex, can I come in?" She asked and then opened the door slowly when she heard an almost inaudible 'yes'.

Alex placed the bag on the foot of the bed, "You been in bed all day?" she asked softly.

"No, I got up to pee…twice." Olivia tried to smile but gave up.

"I thought you would have went somewhere." Alex tried small talk as she picked up the wastebasket and started to deposit the used Kleenex's that were sporadically placed around Olivia's body.

"No clothes." She whispered keeping her head on the pillow.

Alex placed the wastebasket down and brought the duffel closer to Olivia, "Elliot sent this for you."

Olivia furrowed her brows, "He _wants_ me gone?" she asked looking at the bag.

"Hardly," Alex laughed, "I asked him to pack some stuff for you."

"You saw him?"

"Yeah."

"Is he okay?" Olivia asked sitting up and pulling the blanket around her waist.

"Physically, I suppose to but I've seen him have better days." Alex stood to her feet, "he loves you. You guys are gonna pull through this." She encouraged her and gave a sisterly peck on the top of her head, "Hungry?"

"Starved." Olivia blushed, she hadn't eaten all day.

"Jump in the shower, I'll make us something to eat." She smiled, "Would you mind if Robert came by tonight?"

Olivia smiled, "Absolutely not…you really like him don't you?"

"Why do you say that?" Alex pretended innocence.

"Please, I heard the 'I love you' mush yesterday before he left." Olivia teased, "So when's the wedding?"

Alex burst into laughter, "I suppose after he pops the question…if he ever gets around to it."

"So you would say 'yes ,'" Olivia asked anxiously.

Alex shook her head and walked away calling back over her shoulder, "I wouldn't say 'no'."

Olivia smiled and then looked at the duffel in front of her. _He packed my stuff, which means my clothes won't match_. She smiled a little bigger. She unzipped it, not entirely sure what she would find but surprised with what she did. He seemed to not be paying attention to her the last few months, he seemed lost in his own world but in front of her was evidence that perhaps he may have been lost, but he was still searching for her.

She pulled out her pocket book opening it to discover that he'd found her license that she lost weeks ago, and put it back in the appropriate spot she withdrew the money taking note that he's put in at least two weeks pay for her. She was surprised to find the book she had just started reading a few days ago, she put it on the nightstand and was relieved to find that he went simple and folded several pair of jeans and even more shirts. Socks, bras, underwear, toothbrush, razor…it was all there.

Digging deeper she retrieved a small five by seven framed picture of she and Elliot holding Isaac the day they brought him home. She recognized it as the photo she kept on the kitchen counter, she laid it next to the book and felt her eyes mist when she returned to the bag. He'd folded one of Isaac's baby blankets and pined a note to it. She removed the note feeling her body heat up with emotion and hugged the tiny blue blanket. After a few minutes she gathered her composure and unfolded the paper reading to herself.

_Olivia, _

"_I want you home, but since I can't have you right now, I wanted you to remember home. I've enclosed money for anything I may have forgotten and enough for you to do as you'd like. If you need more, I put one of the master cards from the filing cabinet in your wallet, your license had fallen into the couch cushion. I put your favorite shirt in the bag as well…please come home soon. I love you more than you know." _

_Elliot. _

Olivia smiled as a tear made its way over her cheek, looking back into the bag she saw her favorite shirt which was in fact Elliot's old NYPD shirt that she would find any excuse to wear around the house, to sleep, check the mail it didn't matter. _I love you more than you know. _She exhaled and walked to the bathroom. _He didn't forget_.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two months after Olivia showed up at Alex's doorstep, she found herself waking up in the same spare bedroom. November third had stalked her for the better part of five months and it finally presented itself. She exhaled looking at the picture on the nightstand of her son who would have been one today.

Although she and Elliot had been away from one another for two months she maintained close contact with him needing to convey to him that she wasn't leaving him but she was taking a step back until he decided to get his life in order. The two times she picked him up after the bartender from The Crimson Tide called her and informed her that he was sloshed reaffirmed her decision that he wasn't ready to take care of her like she deserved and there was no way she was taking care of an Alcoholic, although it seemed that when she had to drag his passed out body into the house in the middle of the night that that was exactly what she was doing. One week he was fine, the next day he was plastered, the next day hung over.

He promised her two weeks ago that he wanted to be with her on Isaac's birthday and so she willed herself out of bed praying to a God that she was starting to believe was the only one that cared for her. She smirked knowing that was a complete turn around from two years ago when she didn't even know if he existed.

Glancing at her watch she knew Alex would have left by now thus allowing her free access to the restroom to gear up for whatever would be coming down the pike, because with her husband these days, she didn't know.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Pulling up to her home she locked the brakes up bitterly and slammed the stick shift into first gear angrily as she saw Elliot's car scraped up and smashed on the drivers side, the passenger door still wide open from his exit…a good indicator he hit and then skid alongside a wall…a good indicator he had been drinking since the last time she'd seen him.

She seethed stepping out of the car and noticing how the house looked lifeless, the flowerbeds were dead, the grass full of weeds and the door wide open. _Smooth Stabler_. She shook her head in disbelief as she negotiated the steps to the porch and walked into a house that smelled revolting. _Geeze_, she thought as she waked through the house, _he die or what_? Stopping at the kitchen she took note of the disarray, she stopped by every couple of weeks to straighten up but he seemed to have been on top of it…until now anyway.

She stopped and looked on the counter, "Fish food?" She mumbled looking at the small yellow container. She searched the house, taking note that he was nowhere to be found. She exhaled knowing there was only one other place he would be, one that she hadn't been in for the last five months. She took a deep breath and opened the nursery door that once contained the gentle laughter of her son; only now it held the defeated posture of her husband, passed out in the rocker.

Looking around she saw that he kept everything in the exact same position it was when they'd returned after CSU was done with the house. She was about to wake him up rather rudely when she spotted the small fish bowl with a single goldfish swimming lazily around in a circle, next to the fish bowl, a Happy Birthday card. Assuming it must have came in the mail from someone who hadn't read the paper or watched the news or…well lets face it whoever sent the card must have been a mountain man tucked away in some cave.

Picking up the card her heart broke, "Happy Birthday to My Son." She read quietly as she opened it and saw that it was a card from Elliot to Isaac. She blinked back tears reading the tender words of her husband, "You we're a beautiful blessing to you're mother and I. I love you, miss you and need you back. Dad." _Need you back_. She mulled it over in her mind and placed the card back in its original position.

She hadn't been there in just over two weeks and he'd let himself go…again. While he normally couldn't stand to have facial hair here he was drooling with a two-week-old beard that she would have normally found sexy. He reeked of alcohol and body odor and considering he was in his boxers, she knew she would have to look over the house for a pile of puke-infested clothes. She looked at his body in its entirety and thought he seemed to continue loosing weight and had enough baggage under his eyes to go on a world cruise. She wanted to slap the hell out of him. She wanted to love him. She settled for waking him.

"Elliot," she spoke softly not wanting to scare him, "Wake up."

He stirred and twitched but remained asleep, "Elliot," she took hold of his hand and brought it to her lips kissing it softly before pressing it to her cheek, longing for some form of intimate contact with her once gentle lover, now broken and weary man. "Wake up." She whispered in his ear and began to pull him from the rocking chair as he slowly woke up.

He grumbled until he caught his balance, "Olivia?"

"We need to get you into the shower, you stink."

"That was rude." He smirked.

"Truth hurts." She turned him around and pushed softly against him leading him to the shower.

"Take your boxers off Elliot." She instructed him knowing he was still slightly incapacitated as she started the shower. "What happened to the car?" She asked as she gently helped him into the shower.

"Squirrel."

"You're lying."

"No I'm not."

"Whatever." She shook her head seeing the bruising the seatbelt had caused across his chest and the split lip she didn't see because of his unkempt whiskers. "Here." She said handing him the soap and closing the door. "Ten minutes." She told him before leaving.

After finding the puked covered clothes she tossed them into the washer and returned to straighten up as quickly as possible until twenty minutes had passed and there was no sign of Elliot. She tossed a pile of dirty clothes she'd collected around the house onto the couch and returned to the bathroom to find Elliot sitting naked on top of the closed toilet seat.

"Elliot…you're going to get sick." She warned him taking a towel from the hook behind the door and draping it over his once strong, now crumbling shoulders. She pulled another towel out and padded his head lightly moving to his face where she traced the newly forming wrinkles around his eyes with the cloth. "When was you're last haircut?" she asked softly running her hand over his much longer hair. He shook his head absently and she understood what he meant. "Stand up." She whispered extending her hand to him as he stood. She padded the towel over his body gently, careful of the bruising on his chest. "Turn around." Her voice turned to compassion as he turned and she dried him softly making her way down his frame over the globes of his sculptured derriere and further down his legs until he was dry. "Turn around." She pushed his hips around so he was facing her as she knelt.

"I'm lying." He whispered the confession out of nowhere.

Olivia exhaled softly as she looked up at him, "I know, but thank you for being honest with me." She replied resting her hands on his abdomen and feeling his skin jump at her touch. She watched him as he turned away from her gaze unworthy to meet hers. She kissed his naval softly and journeyed a trail of tender kisses upwards to his chest and collarbone as she stood. She savored his touch when he cautiously embraced her waist as she kissed her way to his chin. "Look at me." She whispered, then caressed his face, "We're going to beat this Elliot, we're gonna make it…I still love you." She smiled faintly and kissed the corner of his mouth, wanting more but knowing they needed to do one thing at a time.

"Why aren't you yelling at me?" he furrowed his brows.

"Today isn't the day for that." She lowered her head and retrieved a fresh pair of boxers and wrapped the towel around his shoulders again, "What do you want to do with this mountain man?" she smiled caressing his beard, "Stubble, clean, goatee or trim?"

"What do you want?" he asked her trying to look at himself in the mirror.

Olivia turned his face to her and whispered, "I want you to get better." She kissed his lips softly, "What's your fancy Stabler?" she asked again applying shaving gel to his whiskers.

"Surprise me?" he looked at her softly.

"Deal." She smiled and made her first pass of the razor, remembering when she did it previously after he'd lost his sight. After several passes and the use of a trimmer and scissors Olivia ran a warm cloth over his face and grinned, "Now _that_ is a sexy man." She smiled rubbing her hand along his smooth check.

Elliot looked at himself in the mirror, "Goatee huh? You like this?" he asked inspecting the perfection with which she'd constructed it.

She stood behind him resting her chin on his shoulder and looking at him in the mirror, "I like you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia placed the yellow daisy on top of the headstone that announced to passer by's that her young son was buried here. "He would be talking a little bit by now." She smiled softly as Elliot's arms embraced her from behind.

"He would call you mom and me dad." He hugged her tightly in the chill of the day. "He would have been a good man if he were given the chance."

Olivia reached up and back caressing his face, "Just like his dad." She felt his tear fall over her fingertips and she couldn't help but to release her own.

"Come home Olivia." He whispered.

Olivia stared at the head stone, "There's a lot we need to talk about, and a lot you need to do before I come home Elliot." She was still entirely gentle with him knowing he needed her to be. He had taught her about unconditional love and how to mesh it with tough love and she wondered if he hated himself for it. She turned to face him and rested her hands in the warmth of his jacket, "Show me your serious about stopping the drinking and I'll come home."

He nodded his head absorbing what she meant, "And the talking?" he asked softly.

Olivia stood on her tiptoes and kissed his mouth softly, "I'm here when you're ready to."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thanksgiving day. That was the day she would tell you she watched her marriage teeter dangerously over the edge and a giant boulder tumble down after it. She had been excited to know that Elliot hadn't taken a drink in twenty days; in fact, she felt comfortable enough to invite him to thanksgiving dinner at Paul and Casey's house. She had called and confirmed the time and was considerate enough to let him know that Munch, Fin and Cragen would be there. Perhaps that was what sent the boulder crashing down.

"I'm not going." He told her over the phone.

"What?" She furrowed her brows, "Elliot it would mean a lot to me if you did."

"Olivia, I want to be there but I wouldn't sit across the table with Cragen if you paid me." He snapped.

"You're acting like a child Elliot, you know he's always backed our play." She protested.

"Yeah, when it makes his command look good, when we needed him he sold us out."

"El-"

"Olivia. I'm not going." He edged toward the cliff.

"Elliot please, I'd really like to see you today." She wanted to see him, wanted to spend time with him in a healthy environment.

"No." He looked over the edge.

"Your acting like a child." She reminded him.

"I'm standing my ground."

"You're being stub-"

_Click_. He began to teeter.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia pulled her jacket tighter around her waist wishing she hadn't eaten that last slice of cranberry. November air in New York could be harsh but she found herself growing anxious with the after dinner conversation at the table. She watched the group as she sat on the deck of Casey and Paul's home. It was exciting to see Casey now five months along in her pregnancy.

She glowed happily and seemed to be even closer to Paul who doted on her at every possible moment. Fin and Munch kept the office away from the dinner conversation and she was thankful for that. They inquired as to Elliot's whereabouts to which she told them he was ill and resting at home but that he says hello. She was equally grateful that Robert and Alex backed her play. Cragen on the other hand, was not so willing to accept her story.

Cragen had asked about Elliot and Olivia understood he was concerned but when he wouldn't back away when he kept pressing her for more information she found excused herself from the table and grabbed her jacket telling everyone she needed a breath of air.

Olivia sat on the canvas chair and bounced her legs in an effort to stay warm. She was disappointed that Elliot didn't show. Things between the two of them had been going well since they met up for Isaac's birthday. She wasn't entirely sure how to interpret his refusal to come and so, she ran her hand through her hair and let out a frustrated growl just as she heard the sliding glass door open.

"Ah, Munch's theory sent you runnin' to huh?" Fin smirked knowing why she was outside, she wanted to get away, but he wanted to let her know that he didn't want to see her alone.

Olivia smiled, "Mmm, try Cragen's interrogation." She teased motioning to the seat next to her.

Fin sat slowly looking ahead just as she did. They were friends but no need for sappy crap. "You hate the cold." He reminded her.

"Yep." She agreed.

"Elliot's not sick is he?" he asked zipping his jacket.

"Not in the way you think." She said dryly.

"You two doing alright?"

"I think eventually we'll pull through…I hope anyway." Her voice started to crack and she knew she needed to stop talking.

"He hurting you?" He asked still looking ahead, uncomfortable with his own line of questioning but he would never forgive himself if something like that were going on under his nose.

"Not physically." She smirked, _but he's tearing my heart out with a rusty pair of safety scissors_.

"He steppin' out on you?" he looked completely away not wanting to see her face if the answer was yes.

"No, not at all…you guys don't trust him do you?" She chuckled, "Everyone assumes the worse."

"He's male." Fin finally made eye contact and smiled at his own joke.

"He's a good man." She countered with a faint smile.

"Then why isn't he with you tonight?"

"He won't concede the pissing match with Cragen." She leaned back and looked up into the sky searching for an answer to about a million and five questions. After several minutes of silence she laid her marriage on the chopping block, "He's drinking."

"I know." Fin barely managed to speak.

"What?" She furrowed her brows.

"We got a call from a uniform the other night…they had him cuffed Olivia, but one of the cops remembered him and I from a case we worked last year…called me to pick him up."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered shocked.

"You already knew." He rested his hand on her shoulder, "You two were made for each other, I bet you thirty dollars you'll make it." He smiled, always a betting man.

"I'll bet you thirty dollars he's getting wasted right now." She countered bitterly.

"I'll take that bet, he loves you, I don't think he's stupid enough to mess things up, do you?" he asked her softly with a cocky smile.

Olivia pulled out her ringing cell phone as she digested Fin's words. "This is Olivia." She answered unable to identify the caller I.D. "Yes…I understand…no, I'll be there shortly…yes, goodbye." She slowly snapped the phone shut and Fin saw the rage creep into her eyes.

"What happened?"

"Fin," She pressed her lips together, "Seems you owe me thirty bucks."

"Where?"

"The Penalty Box on 49th." She exhaled walking slowly into the house and telling her friends she felt ill before she left.

"Paul!" Fin called him out as soon as Olivia closed the door.

"What's up? She okay?"

"Get your coat, we're going for a ride." Fin said walking to the door.

"Where?" Paul asked feeling the stares of the people from the dinning room table.

"Just get your damn coat, Science Man."

Paul looked at Casey for permission having never met Fin before. She shrugged her shoulders then smiled suggesting he should go and see what was happening. He left with Fin not sure what he was getting himself into.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Why do you need me again?" Paul asked Fin nervously as they waited in the car outside the Penalty Box.

"Back up."

"I'm not a cop." Paul protested.

"Nope. But your big." Fin suggested looking for any traces of Olivia. "Elliot would snap Munch in half."

"Wait," Paul shifted nervously, "Am I _suppose_ to be getting snapped in half?"

"No, man," Fin smacked his lips in irritation, "I told you you're too big…might get laid out though." He smirked.

"Why would I g-"

Fin nudged Paul and pointed out the window, "There's Olivia."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia walked into the Penalty Box and looked around spotting her husband sitting in a booth with a uniformed officer next to him. She walked angrily but managed to get her emotions under control as she approached the officer.

"Good evening ma'am." He smiled.

Olivia scowled at Elliot as she replied to the officer, "Good evening, can you uncuff him please?"

"I'm sorry ma'am, he's under arrest."

Olivia shook her head swallowing her anger and reaching into her jacket pocket pulling out her courtesy badge, "I'd appreciate it if you could un cuff him please." She smiled displaying the badge and allowing the officer to inspect it. He handed it back to her, "I'm sorry detective, I didn't know, the bartender didn't say anything just gave me the phone number to call for someone to pick up the car."

"Pick up the car? You're a gracious cop." Olivia smiled in thanks knowing standard procedure would have been to leave it and it would have subsequently been towed.

"No need to cause more trouble." He smiled helping Elliot to his feet and releasing the cuffs.

"He's sobered up a bit but still tipsy…be careful with him ma'am."

"Thank you." Olivia bowed her head embarrassed, "Could you not-"

"My lips are sealed ma'am."

Olivia smiled, "Thank you."

Olivia took Elliot by the hand unconsciencly tightening her grip as she led him outside of the bar and only a couple feet from the entrance when she lost her temper.

"What the hell is your problem Elliot!" She yelled flaying her arms into the atmosphere.

"Oliv-" he tried to yell back but as soon as his mouth opened he vomited on the cement.

"Smooth move jackass." She seethed but helped him straighten himself.

"Why are you here!" He yelled wiping his mouth.

"Why am I here!" She yelled back, "Did you bump your head Elliot?" She stared at him in shock. "I just save you from going to jail…I just saved your job!" she barked.

"Well, then," His voice dripped with sarcasm, "You're my hero."

"And you're a bad drunk." She shot back folding her arms.

Elliot walked closer to her standing within a foot, possibly two before yelling angrily, "You said you'd never leave!"

"I didn't leave!" she screamed grabbing his face in her hands and pulling him closer, "I'm standing right here you stubborn sonovabitch!" her eyes watered. In a split second everything she held important, everything she vowed never to do to him, she did. Perhaps she was just like her mother.

Elliot backed away slowly starring at her, she was right. Yes she left his home, but she never actually left him, in fact, she took care of him as best she could while he continued to be an impossible egotistical jerk. "Olivia-" he reached for her only to feel her shriek away.

"Elliot," She said holding her hands up ready to push him away again, "I'm going to say this once and then you're going to make a very important decision." She informed him placing one hand on her hip as she used her other to emphasize her diatribe. "I grew up with an alcoholic because I didn't have a choice…I won't live with one when I _do_ have a choice."

"You're leaving me?" He asked.

"Elliot!" she exclaimed his name in frustration, "There's an A.A. class starting tomorrow evening at St. Catherine's, six O'clock." She exhaled then finished, "I'll be there, I'll go in with you…but if you don't show up, _you'll_ be the one leaving _me_."

"I'm not a drunk!" he yelled in protest waving angry fist in front of an undaunted Olivia.

"You have you're choice…tomorrow at Six…or never again."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Come on Fin, she put him in a cab, we can go home." Paul said as Fin fell in behind the cab.

"Nope, you and I are going to have a talk with Stabler, this is going to stop tonight." He assured Paul as they drove, "You heard that argument, he's got to go or they ain't gonna make it…do you want to live knowing you didn't do anything to help those two along?"

Paul exhaled. Olivia saved his marriage by sticking her nose where it didn't belong, he decided he would do the same as he watched Elliot walk slowly away from the cab, stumble up the porch steps and finally make his way into his house leaving the door open. "What are we going to do?" he asked, "Aren't you both cops? Can't you get into trouble for crap like this?"

"Science Man," Fin spoke casually to him withdrawing his gun, "There comes a time in every cops career where he disregards his badge," he said placing the gun under the car's seat and tossing his badge into the car's cubby, "to help a friend. This is that time." He smiled, "Don't be a wuss, watch his right hook and you'll be fine…and take you're glasses off." He smacked his lips again then stepped out of the car.

Paul waited behind Fin as he knocked, "Elliot!" he called into the house and then walked in when he didn't receive a response. "Let's go." Fin motioned for Paul to enter.

"Casey is gonna kill me."

"Don't get hit and she wont know." Fin shrugged and smirked.

"Where is he?" Paul asked looking around and then jumping back seeing Elliot standing in the hallway.

"What the hell do you two want?" he spat.

Fin took a step forward and balled his fist, "First of all." He said simply before punching Elliot in the gut and causing him to bend over gasping for breath.

"What the hell Fin." He groaned.

"Don't ever take that punk tone with me." He spoke directly into his ear, "and second of all," he grabbed him by the lapels and through him into the wall holding his forearm tightly against his throat, "Don't ever yell at you're wife in public…it's not gentleman like." He let go and glanced at Paul whose mouth was stuck agape.

"She's offering you a chance Elliot." Fin warned.

"She's leaving me!" he yelled back.

Fin swung nailing Elliot flush against the chin, "Wrong." He spoke calmly, "Try again."

Elliot felt the blood trickle from his lip and lunged at Fin who simply side stepped him and shoved him to the ground. "You're drunk, I'm sober…if you want I can kick you're ass all over the house."

Elliot groaned and stood to his feet, seeing Paul, he took a wild swing to which Paul ducked threw a left to his gut and a right to his face as soon as he bent over from the first blow. "You're making this harder Elliot." Paul said trying to help him up.

Elliot tried to focus on what was happening but the room was spinning and getting the crap beat out of him wasn't helping. "She hates me." Elliot exhaled defeated and sliding down the wall.

Paul helped him back up, "That woman is going through hell for you…she loves you." He offered him.

"Elliot," Fin chimed in, "You better have you're ass there tomorrow at eight or I'm coming back here and I won't be as cordial." He warned him taking hold of him by the collar. "You stink like a damn farm animal man." He shoved him down the hall, "Paul grab towels." Fin ordered.

Fin turned the water onto cold and then shoved a fully clothed Elliot into the shower. "Get you're self presentable." Fin instructed before slamming the shower door closed and accepting the towels Paul brought to him. Fin raised his voice over the shower water "Here's your damn towels, we'll see you later."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia checked her watch for the seven hundredth time, "You've got three minutes Elliot." She mumbled to her self, trying to stay warm as she waited outside the church for him. She looked to the left then to the right. There was no one. She checked her cell phone to see if she missed a call…she hadn't. She checked her watch again and felt her eyes tear up. He wasn't coming.

She exhaled and walked down the steps hailing a cab from the curb. The cab pulled in slowly as she called for it. She wiped a tear from her face as she opened the cab door.

"You're not leaving are you?"

Olivia stopped mid movement at the sound of Elliot's voice.

"My watch is a little slow…do I get a grace period?" he asked. She turned knowing he was smiling.

"Never mind." She called back to the cabdriver unwilling to take her eyes off of the precious sight in front of her. He'd made his decision.

Elliot looked at her intensely, wanting to touch her, knowing he wasn't worthy of doing so, "I guess I got here just in time."

Olivia bowed her head trying to hold back her tears as she slid her hands into her back pockets and walked towards him stopping just as her body met with his. "You scared me." She managed to choke out.

"I didn't mean to." He whispered brushing the back of his hand over her cheek to wipe the tears away. He lowered his head and kissed her cheek softly when she pulled back looking at him, searching him for deceit and coming up empty handed.

She traced his bottom lip gently with her index finger feeling the split that was painfully evident, "What happened?" she whispered.

Elliot chuckled, "Fin and Paul knocked some sense into me."

She shook her head softly and gently caressed his battered lip between her moist ones taking in the new sensation of the goatee. "Does that hurt?" she asked in a whisper.

"No." he responded resting his hand on her hips.

"Good." She breathed over his lips and kissed him softly, running her tongue along his lips before she separated his with her tongue tasting his freshly rinsed mouth. She ran her tongue over his teeth and smiled as she pulled away, "I'm glad you came."

"Thank you for not giving up on my Liv." He whispered.

She beamed.

"What?" He asked with a small smile.

"You haven't called me Liv for along time."

Elliot kissed her forehead softly, "I haven't done a lot of things the right way for along time…that stopped last night." He whispered.

She shook her head softly left to right, "Elliot…if you break you're promise," she wiped her eye, "If you break you're promise, I won' t make it." She sniffled. "You'll break me."

Elliot kissed her lips tenderly, "I'm not breaking anything. In fact, tonight, I'm gonna start fixing things."

Elliot and Olivia stood side-by-side staring at the entrance to the A.A. meeting room in silence. She wrapped her hand around his waist and leaned her head on his shoulder, "You know I can't go in."

Elliot kissed the crown of her head, "I know. I'm nervous."

"I'll be right here when you're done. You can do this Elliot." She assured him kissing him softly on the cheek then watching as he slowly opened the door and disappeared.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot leaned over the rink and actually found himself nervous as he waited for his wife to show up. Although she hadn't come home yet she had agreed after he left his fourth A.A. meeting to go on a date with him. It was just as he checked the knot in his tie for the fifth, possibly sixth time that he felt her embrace him from behind.

"Hi." She smiled.

"Hello." He turned to face her and kissed her softly on her cheek, "You look great." He smiled.

"Oh, these?" She smiled tugging at her jeans; "My husband packed them for me awhile ago."

"He knows what you look good in." he laughed at her playfulness. She laughed because it was finally good to see him happy…to see him sober.

"I like that you've kept this." She grinned tracing the hairline of his goatee.

"I like that you kept _me_." He said softly nuzzling his nose against hers before kissing her again.

"I'm no fool." She laughed, "I know a good guy when I see him." She winked and kissed the corner of his mouth. "What's the big surprise tonight?" she asked.

Elliot bent down and retrieved a paper bag. "Open it."

"Excuse me?"

"Open it." He urged her as he led her to sit down next to him.

Olivia opened the bag and laughed hysterically, "You know I never learned how."

"Exactly." He smiled taking one ice skate out of the paper sac and crouching low to remove her shoe and help her lace up the skate.

"I'll fall." She laughed as he laced up the last skate.

"I'll catch you." He smiled toeing his own shoes off and putting his own skates on.

"I like you this way." She said softly putting her hands on his forearm.

Elliot smiled a silent thank you, "Let's go." He said standing to his feet.

"Can I just stand up like that?" she asked a little unsure.

"Absolutely, walk just like normal." He instructed holding out his hand for her to take. She stood shakily at first but gained her balance quickly as he led her to the rink.

"I'm the oldest person out here Elliot." She chuckled watching the younger couples skate by.

"Actually I'm the oldest person out here." He laughed, "And I want noted for the record that you're definitely the most beautiful woman out here."

She smiled at his words, enjoyed his presence, and anxiously awaited the rest of the night.

"You ready?" he asked her.

"Yep." She smiled as she stepped onto the ice with him, feeling her skates shift under her rapidly as she grabbed at Elliot's body to keep herself up.

"Relax Liv." He smiled, "Take my arm." He extended it, "Watch my feet, it's easy." He smiled holding her left hand with his and resting his free hand on her lower back just in case she did decide to take a spill. The first round was nerve racking and Elliot was sure she'd broken a finger in one of his hands from holding on two tight but after about twenty minutes she looked like a pro.

"This is fun." She smiled holding his hand comfortably as they skated next to one another.

"It's not as bad as you thought it would be is it?" he laughed.

"No, this is a cake walk." She laughed and even demonstrated her ability to stop quickly.

"Wow…move over Lipinksi, Olivia is taking over the ice." He laughed pulling her close to him. "Let's see how you fair backwards."

"Huh?" she furrowed her brows, "How am I suppose to do that?" she asked glancing around the rink unable to see anyone skating backwards.

Elliot positioned himself behind her, "Follow my hips." He whispered pulling her into him. She gasped feeling him pressed up against her bottom as he started to skate backward. "You're blushing."

She chuckled, "I'm pretty sure if I moved out of the way…you'd be blushing too."

He tightened his grip on her hips and smiled next to her as they moved along the ice, "Don't you dare." He laughed.

"Oh yeah?" she acted like she was going to reveal him and he over reacted reaching for her and throwing them both off balance sending them both falling against the ice in laughter. "I could have broken a hip." She teased, "Good thing you broke my fall." She laughed and tried to stand to her feet when he held her firmly in place.

"I want to ask you something."

"Ask…the ice is cold." She grinned.

"Will you spend Christmas with me?" he whispered.

Olivia found her gentle lover. She lowered her lips to his and kissed him tenderly, forgetting about the cold ice, and the young skaters racing by them. She smiled as she broke away from him "I was hoping you would ask me that."

A/N: For the story Nymph, go to Go to categories, select SVU then click on updates. The story is called Nymph written by Novak.


	6. Chapter 6 When We Wake Up

Divided We Fall

Chapter 6 When We Wake Up

Her calves were feeling the work out, feeling the constant up and down motion as she concentrated on Ricky. He'd gotten faster over the last couple of years since they'd been sparring partners. There was once a time when he wasn't even a work out for her but over the last few sparring session Olivia found herself painfully aware that she was getting older, she was out of shape and slower than molasses.

She was good at reading him though. She saw him come at her full swing. She spun quickly to her right searching all the way around for her target, his chest, and delivering a perfectly executed side kick.

"Ugggh." He folded and stumbled backwards onto the ropes.

"Ha! That was point sucker!" she laughed still bouncing.

"Those legs!" he groaned, "Geeze they should be illegal." He leaned over to catch his air, "I see you're getting back up to speed."

"Yeah," She arched her brows and removed her mouth piece, "It's about time, I thought I was loosing my touch." She smiled sucking down a steady stream of water, " don't get to do this very often." She smirked.

"Hey Olivia, I got a favor to ask of you." He smiled walking over to her and draping his forearms over the ropes.

"Uh oh." She smiled, "I guess I should have seen that one coming." She teased, "What's up?"

"Want a job?"

Olivia froze, "Excuse me?"

"Want a job?"

"I have one."

"Olivia…we both know you're on administrative leave." He spoke softly.

"How do you know that?" she furrowed her brows, she had purposefully avoided telling him anything about what had happened. She forced herself to be strong over the last few months because she knew if she wasn't she would loose Elliot too, and that would have destroyed her. She buried her own emotions, kept them in check and pulled Elliot out of dung pool and in spite of the fact that she felt like they were slowly getting back on track she felt like she was slowly dieing inside and no one saw it.

"Olivia, I read the paper." His voice was compassionate as he turned to face her more squarely,

"You know about my son then?" she lowered her head avoiding his glance.

"I do." He whispered placing his gloved hand on her shoulder, "We're friends Olivia," He told her softly, "You could have told me."

"No, no I couldn't have." She shook her head and exhaled deeply taking her hand guards off.

"Why not?" he asked removing his own sparring gear.

Olivia gripped the ropes and felt the battle rage within her, "Because I haven't even told myself yet." She whispered harshly.

"I'm sorry you're going through this Olivia…how is you're husband?"

"He's doing good." She smiled softly knowing full well that he was, "He coming around, we're hanging in there." She offered.

"I'll tell you what Olivia," he said reaching down into his duffel, "The shift is two hours a day Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays…I think it's just what you need." He informed her standing to his feet and tossing her a key. "Don't be late."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alex walked into her apartment to find it quiet except for the gentle cries she could hear coming from the bedroom. Closing the door softly, she placed her bag next to the door and her keys on the counter. It had been a common occurrence, coming home to hear the muffled cries of her friend who tried to be stoic, tried to be strong, tried to be Detective Benson again; she wondered if Olivia knew that Detective Benson didn't exist anymore, at least not right now; right now there was only Olivia Stabler, grieving mother and wounded wife.

Alex slipped her jacket off and draped it over the back of the couch. She toed her heels off and pulled her shirt out of her slacks. The kindergartners had entirely too much energy for her today and she was tired but she knew Olivia was just as worn, if not more. She knocked on the door of the bedroom lightly, "Olivia, can I come in?" When there was no answer she opened the door slowly, "Olivia?" she whispered seeing her balled into the fetal position facing away from her.

"You're home early." Olivia choked out unwilling to move, unwilling to expose her shelf to more vulnerability.

"I got my stuff done early." She smiled walking to the opposite side of the bed to face Olivia as she sat on the edge of the bed. "Should I ask how you're doing?" she smiled weakly.

"I'm okay Alex," she offered a fake smile, "Really, I just…" her voice trailed off.

"You're just cuddled up to your son's blanket." Alex said softly. While she could never know what Olivia was feeling, she did know that she was hurting silently…not wanting anyone else to know. "It's okay to hurt, Olivia."

Olivia pressed her lips tightly together forcing her sobs to subside so she could whisper, "I don't want to hurt."

"Nobody wants to hurt, and it's never easy." Alex smiled, "But when you pull through it, you realize it was worth it."

Olivia wiped her nose with a Kleenex, feeling herself begin to unravel, she changed the subject quickly, "Hot date tonight?"

"Something like that," Alex smiled, "Bowling."

"Bowling? Huh…I wouldn't have figured you for a bowler." She smiled teasing her.

"Well, I've never been bowling, I suppose we'll see what happens."

"You've never been bowling?" Olivia asked shocked then laughed, "Wow, I thought I had a rough upbringing." She joked.

"Yeah yeah. Laugh all you want but scoot over." Alex smiled standing up and motioning for Olivia to shift to the other side. She laid next to her friend knowing she wasn't going to simply break down and cry and let out the last five months of frustration, but she did need to ask one important question.

"So," She smiled resting her hand on Olivia's shoulder as a younger sister would comforter an older one, "speaking of date, you came home at what…midnight last night?" she smiled.

"Try one." Olivia's eye flickered remembering her date with her husband.

"Uh huh," Alex absorbed the information, and took note of the look. "I take it things went well, did you have," Alex arched her brows suggestively.

"Alex!" Olivia blushed at the innuendo.

"Fun." Alex offered a different version of what she was actually suggesting. " I was asking if you had _fun_." She smiled.

"Yeah, right." Olivia laughed, then answered, "We went skating then saw a movie…nothing else."

Alex smiled then grew slightly more poised, "Seriously though, how are you guys?"

Olivia propped her head on her palm, "Am I over staying my welcome?"

"What!" Alex smiled, "Absolutely not! I told you to stay as long as you'd like and I meant it…I was just asking how you two were doing?" she assured her.

"He's doing well, hasn't taken a drink since thanksgiving and Christmas is right around the corner…" she stopped talking.

"What's wrong?"

"He asked me to spend Christmas with him." She looked down at the soft baby blanket knowing it would be rough without her son.

"I thought you would be happy about that Olivia."

"I'm, I just…He's only bee sober for awhile and…"

"You don't think he's ready to have you back?" Alex asked softly.

" I don't know." Olivia shook her head trying to avoid the tears again. "My mom could sober up for over a year but-"

"She'd relapse." Alex finished for her, "Olivia, if it's at all comforting to you, I think Elliot has learned his lesson, I think you stepping back showed him he can't screw around with this."

" I hope so." Olivia exhaled, and spoke softly.

"So," Alex grinned, "You going for Christmas?"

Olivia thought about it for a small moment, "Absolutely, I want to be with him."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Watch'ya working on?" Paul asked his wife as he lowered his lips to her cheek and placed a cup of hot chocolate on her desk.

"Currently," She exhaled in exhaustion, "A case that just came into the office, the ADA whose covering for me just got slammed with an interesting one."

"Casey…your not suppose to be working." He reminded her softly.

"I'm researching, that's all." She assured him squeezing his hand as he stood next to the desk, "I have no intention on presenting a case using that." She smiled and pointed with her thumb to the walker she was now using to help her around the house, "I personally thought I wouldn't have one of those until I was in my sixties." She smiled.

Paul smiled knowing she hated having to use a walker but her legs weren't strong enough to support her body yet, "Well, look on the bright side." He suggested sitting in his own office chair.

"And that would be what exactly?" she raised her brows.

"We get great parking spots with that thing." He teased her leaning in and grazing her thigh with his hand and moving upwards resting it on her swollen belly. "How's our baby doing?"

"I think the baby is finally giving my a reprieve from the kicking." She smiled covering his hand with her own. "Can I tell you something?"

"Please." He smiled and pulled her gently onto his lap.

"I never thought we'd be given another chance to have a baby." She whispered touching her hand to his cheek as he wrapped his arms around her body, "I'm happy to be with you." She told him before lowering her lips to his and nipping softly at his bottom lip. She separated and smiled feeling his hand rest on her belly.

He leaned into her withdrawn lips and kissed her back gently running his free hand through her hair. She arched her head only slightly, but enough that her lips separated to let him explore her mouth with his tongue. They moaned at the sensation of touch and the regret of still not being able to make love to one another because the doctors wouldn't give her the green light. She smiled against his lips, "We have to stop…or I'll be forced to ignore doctor's orders."

"Damn doctor's." he whispered against her lips, "I want you, I hope you know that."

Casey smiled and softly grazed his forming erection, "Oh, rest assured, I know." She kissed him softly on the mouth again and rested her head on his chest. "Do you think their gonna make it?" she asked referring to Elliot and Olivia.

"Oh yeah." He assured her remembering Fin's threat. "Why? Don't you think they will?"

"Olivia stopped by today on her way home from the gym." She looked at him softly.

"Oh yeah? How is she?"

"She seems better, said she went out with Elliot last night and had a good time." She traced the muscles of his body into the cloth of his shirt with her finger then smiled, "I think I was a bad influence on her though." She chuckled.

"How so?" He smiled looking at the mischievousness in her grin.

"I spilt chocolate on myself when she was here and…" she stopped herself not wanting to upset him.

"And?" he prodded her forward, "Spill…no pun intended."

"Non taken." She laughed, "Don't be upset okay."

"Uh oh." He shook his head and smiled, "Lay it on me Casey, what happened."

"I wasn't using the walker when I was trying to change and…I fell down, I'm completely fine though." She quickly added to sooth him as she laid his hand protectively on her belly. "And the little one too."

"I'm not mad." He smiled, "Just glad you're okay."

"Yeah, well, I think I'd still be laying on the ground if Olivia hadn't been here." She laughed, "She helped me up and…saw my tattoo."

"Casey, you didn't tell her to go ink herself up did you?" He scolded her with a smile.

"Hey," She raised her hands in protest, "I didn't suggest she do anything, but she asked me about it and I told her what it meant…I could tell the wheels in her mind were starting to turn." She laughed, "I bet you a sponge bath she's thinking about getting a tattoo."

"Well then," he teased her, "congratulations on your recent corruption."

"Thank you." She laughed. "Can you help me stand up, my back is hurting like this…as nice as it feels to be in your arms, my back is screaming at me."

"Not a problem." He kissed her chastely and helped her back to her chair, "So what's this interesting case you're researching?"

"Well," She opened a file and glanced over it as she spoke, "Apparently there is a case in New Jersey where a guy at the coroner's office decided to sell cadavers to people willing to pay the right amount."

"Why would someone want a body…that's disgusting." He shook his head.

"Well, so far the theory is that he was selling to the underground labs and research clinics, blah blah blah." She said leaning back in her chair.

"I don't understand, why are you researching it? Your not in homicide…is it even homicide if they're dead?" He furrowed his brows and continued, "And stiffs aren't SVU…how'd you get stuck with it? Why isn't Jersey dealing with it?"

"Well, stop asking so many questions and I'll tell you." She smiled extending her swollen feet across his lap.

"Sorry, you know me…million questions…it's the scientist in me." He smiled.

"I'm researching it because it's something different and I've been away from court a little too long…I'm getting restless." She admitted. "No, it's not homicide when they are already dead," She continued as he rubbed the soles of her feet. "Thank you." She leaned back in her chair, "And it does belong to SVU prosecutors…when were talking about children."

"Oh that's sick…you're telling me they are stealing dead kids?" he shook his head. "Disgusting."

"Well, that doesn't seem to be the common thread but New Jersey detectives traced a huge underground circuit of coroner's that are practicing this type of thing and apparently they found one in New York."

"Really?" he shook his head, "Doesn't surprise me in this city."

"So, the ADA asked me to research the case and since I rarely get to break butt suction right now, I agreed, besides, like I said, you have to admit it's interesting." She shrugged.

"Casey," Paul kissed the top of her foot, "You're a good woman."

She furrowed her brows, a little shocked at his out of no where statement, "What?" she asked knowing he had to be thinking something.

"I just wanted you to know it." He smiled, "Hungry? Want to go out?"

"You gonna make me use that walker?" She arched her brow.

"Yep."

"I'm not going then." She teased him then agreed when she saw his expression sadden, "Paul," she laughed, "Of course I'll go."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia pulled up to the gym not exactly sure of what to expect. She had called Ricky to back out, he hung up…but not before telling her to bring her uniform. She figured she was going to get stuck teaching self-defense to a bunch of prissy women who were going to be more afraid of breaking a nail than anything else. She sighed, _Well at least I'm getting a free gym pass out of this. _

Walking into the gym she caught sight of a paper on the reception desk that Ricky had left her, she read it out loud furrowing her brows, "You're class will be here around four, we wear full uniforms here. Have fun and…be nice Olivia." _Be nice? What did I get myself into?_ She asked herself heading for the locker room.

She was surprised to find her self thinking about Elliot as she changed. She wanted to make love to him right there on the ice after they had fallen but she didn't want to rush things. She laughed to herself as she slipped into the white canvas pants, _We're married for crying out loud, we're not dating_. She shook her head and slipped into the canvas jacket crossing it over her body and securing it at the sides. She hated wearing the jacket, she felt more comfortable in a compression shirt but if she was going to instruct a bunch of women, she thought she should be professional about it, well, that and Ricky had told her to. She pulled her belt around her front crossing it in the back and bringing it forward to tie the knot. She smiled remembering Elliot's inability to tie his own tie, but remembering the safety of his embrace when she tied it for him.

Olivia gave herself a 'once over' in the mirror just as she heard the buzzar from the door go off. The brood of cackling vipers had entered the building. She ran her hands through her hair and clasped them behind her neck sighing. She heard the women laughing, and figured it would be a long session. Walking out of the locker room, she didn't know she was in for a surprise.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You realize it's snowing right?" Alex felt the need to remind Robert.

"Yes, I do." He laughed squeezing her hand.

"Okay, do you realize it's snowing and we're walking in the middle of Central Park…in the snow?" She didn't want to have to bust out a flow chart for him to catch her drift, but who walks in the middle of central park in the snow?

"You can't really call this snow Alex, it's barely even falling."

"Then exactly what should I call it?" She laughed wrapping her arm around his waist as they walked together.

"Ambiance." He whispered.

"Excuse me?" She furrowed her brows, "What do you mean ambiance? Ambiance for what?" she asked.

"You'll see." He smiled

"Tell me." She stopped mid stride and turning him to her.

"Be patient."

"Definitely the wrong person to tell that to." She laughed and kissed him chastely then found herself pleasantly surprised when he touched his hand to her cheek and drew her back to his lips. He was a strong man standing slightly taller than her even when she wore heels. She felt his free hand pull her waist closer to his body and then suddenly depart.

She tried to separate but voided the notion when his lips called her back again. She rested her right hand on his chest surprised to see his heart was beating entirely too fast for the moment. When she rested her left hand on his hips she was surprised by the amount of heat she could feel coming off of his body. She had known him long enough to recognize that he was nervous.

As her tongue dueled with his, first submissive, than ceasing power only to gladly give it back to him. She felt his hand cover hers on his hip and while she was surprised to feel him move it, she was even more surprised to feel the curious sensation of him kissing her gently and grasping her ring finger in his hand…the feeling of cool thin metal making its way to the base of her finger.

He parted slowly from her lips, nibbling gently on her bottom lip and sucking to dull the bite as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. He watched her closely as a blushing smile crossed her face and she stood on her tip toes to whisper in his ear, "I though you'd never ask."

He smiled and kissed her gently on the mouth, "I had to wait for it to snow."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia found herself staring down ten of the most talkative, overly excited, and far too energetic…kids. _I'm going to kill Ricky_. She thought as she looked at the little boys scurrying about the room stowing socks and shoes in cubbies and lining up shoulder to shoulder on the mat. _For hyperactive ankle bitters they have their crap together_. _What am I suppose to do?_ She asked herself pretending to be undaunted and finding solace in the fact that the class was made up white to orange belts…who's prissy mother's were watching her, not exactly sure they liked her just yet.

_Fantastic_. She said bowing and walking onto the mat, _Fan-friggin-tastic._ She stood in front of the boys not sure she could be a hard-nosed instructor to them, and then she remembered the note. _Be nice_.

"Hi boys, I'm Olivia Stabler," She introduced herself with a smile, "I'm going to be you're instructor for a couple of weeks."

She was surprised when the boys bowed crisply and sounded off in unison, "Good Morning Ma'am."

_Wow disciplined, interesting_. She smiled, "Let's get started, line up on your marks."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia rolled over and reached for the alarm clock, searching blindly for the snooze button. When she couldn't find it she picked up the small unit and tossed it into the corner hoping it landed in the hamper. When there was no sound of it crashing against the floor and smiled and rolled over to go back to sleep until it suddenly went off again.

"Oh, I can't believe this." She groaned and turned the lamp on next to the bed. She had set the clock for three thirty in the morning, but when she woke up she wondered if perhaps her plan was a mistake.

She retrieved the alarm clock and took the batteries out and tossed it back into the hamper. Running her hands through her hair she retreated quietly to the shower trying not to wake up Alex.

There is perhaps nothing more agonizing than taking a shower in the New York cold. She shivered uncontrollably as she changed and eagerly stepped under the heat of the shower only to find that ten minutes later she had to pull herself out and change.

Before slipping out of the apartment she left a note next to a Christmas present she'd bought for Alex and the rest of the money she had in her wallet, which only amounted to about four hundred dollars. She hoped that would be enough.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Knowing her vehicle was entirely too loud to make a sneak attack, Olivia gained enough speed that she could shift into neutral and turn the car off, allowing it to coast into the snow covered driveway. She took a small package off the front seat and got out of the car letting the car door hitch softly before putting her body weight against it to close it without making noise.

Under the cover of the porch she shook the fallen snow from off of her shoulders and retrieved her keys. She manipulated the keys into the door as softly and quietly as possible then pushed against it slowly, not wanting to produced noise or signs of an intruder. Balancing the package in her hand she toed off her shoes in the darkness of the early morning and allowed them to stay in the foyer.

She was going to walk into the kitchen but knew she would have to walk through the living room and there was no telling how messy it was right now. Deciding against it she veered off and headed directly for the bedroom padding as lightly as possible.

She saw him in the darkness sleeping soundly and was surprised that he was actually sleeping in only his boxers as cold as it was. His hand rested softly on his abdomen with the other carelessly flung over his head. She smiled, noticing he was sleeping on her pillow and on her side of the bed; a side of the bed he hated because he swore it was slightly softer than his firmer side. She grinned knowing it was his way of trying to stay as close to her as possible even when she was away from him.

Walking to him she felt her heart race and her body flush at the mere sight of seeing him asleep in his underwear, in the bed, in their bedroom. The simplicity of it was arousing. She smiled and covered his hand softly with her own aware of how warm his hands were. She lowered her lips to his ear and whispered, "Elliot," she smiled seeing him stir and interlace his fingers with hers. "Elliot, wake up." She kissed the corner of his mouth causing his eyes to flutter open.

Elliot jumped slightly but then grinned when he brought her face into focus, "Liv."

She smiled looking down at him, "Merry Christmas." She squeezed his hand and brought it to her lips kissing it softly.

"It's early." He smiled, "I thought you were coming by at noon."

Olivia sat slowly and rested her hand on his naked abdomen, "I wanted to wake up with my husband on Christmas morning," she smiled, "if he'll let me."

Elliot sat up and grinned running his hand through her hair, "I want to wake up with my wife of Christmas morning." He kissed her cheek gently wanting to lower her on the bed and show her how much he wanted her next to him but he was fully aware she would have to initiate anything between them. He'd crossed the line with her and understood that they still had a lot o work through and talk about. "Did you bring your pajamas…it's chilly." He smiled.

"Why are you in your boxers then?" she teased him aware that in spite of his warm hands he had developed chicken skin since she woke him up. She wondered if it was from the cold or from her touch. She hoped it was the latter.

"Um," he lowered his head. She couldn't see but she knew he was blushing, "Apparently I don't know how to do laundry and I've managed to use all of my clothes up since the last time you were here." He smiled hearing her laugh.

She stood to her feet and took her jacket off revealing her flannel pajamas and eliciting a laugh from him, "You drove here in you're jammies?" he teased.

"If you thought I was changing in the cold again, you're nuts." She teased him back and tossed the jacket to the side. "Are you cold?" she asked softly.

"A little." He said trying to adjust the blankets.

"If you'll let me," she rested her hand over his, "I can warm you."

He smiled and drew back the down comforter, "We can warm each other." He smiled and slid to his side of the bed as she positioned herself flush against his body feeling a forming erection press into her. She felt desired knowing that inspite of being away from one another, in spite of having to rebuild and reconstruct aspects of their relationship he wanted her. She did however feel his reluctance to hold her, as if he were waiting for permission.

She whispered gently, "Give me your hands."

"Why?" he questioned.

"Just give them to me." She encouraged.

He held his arms out over her shoulder from behind her and smiled as she took one arm and brought it over her head and then under her so she could lay on it while she placed the other over her waist, "I need you to hold me, if that's okay with you."

"I want to hold you." He smiled kissing her cheek and tightening his embrace as their bodies spooned comfortably together, "Olivia?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you a favor?" he whispered nervously into her ear.

"Absolutely."

"Can you and I talk things out when we wake up? Can we try to get back on the same page? I want things to be like when we talked…even if we had to pull it out of each other, we still talked."

Olivia smiled to herself and wrapped his arms tighter around her body resting her hands over his. She knew that agreeing to his request would open them both up to incredible pain and perhaps excruciating hurt, and even though she was thankful he was ready she wondered if she would be ready. Deciding she would meet him halfway she reached her hand back and caressed his cheek, "I've been wanting to talk to you for a long time."

"When we wake up?"

"Absolutely, I think it's time. But right now, we need to sleep or Santa wont come." She offered a gentle laugh and felt him nuzzle closer to her body as she closed her eyes and let herself drift off to the rhythm of his breathing.

"Liv?" he called to her softly hoping she hadn't fallen asleep again.

"Mmm?" She jumped slightly as his voice brought her back.

"I was wondering," he began and felt her body tense at the seriousness of his voice."

"What?" she responded as he eyes shot open bracing herself for whatever bomb he would be dropping.

"Um, did a fat man try to grab you and stuff you into a sac?"

She furrowed her brows and thought frantically trying to remember any altercation and couldn't come up with anything, "No. Why?"

He nibbled her ear lob softly and then smiled into her cheek before whispering, "Because I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas."

Moments of laughter between the two was sometimes rare but not at this moment. They laughed freely in one another's arms at Elliot's attempt at a pick up line and then slowly ceased falling asleep, waiting for the morning that would offer a clean start for the both of them.


	7. Chapter 7 Christmas Morning

Divided We Fall

Chapter 7 Christmas Morning

A/N Who needs fabric softener when you got this much fluff?

Elliot tightened his embrace around Olivia's body, giving her a gentle squeeze, "Merry Christmas." He whispered and laughed as she mumbled something in her sleep against his chest but he couldn't make it out. "It's Christmas morning Liv." He whispered again and gave a soft kiss on the top of her head.

Olivia forced her eyes open aware of the gentle light that made its way into the bedroom, "What time is it?"

"Eight-seventeen." He smiled.

Olivia buried her head back into this chest, "That's early." She smiled against him and then looked at him with a grin, "I woke up with my husband on Christmas morning."

"I woke up with you." He whispered back brushing her bangs away from her face.

"You look entirely too cheery for it to be so early." She teased, "How long have you been awake?"

"I never went to sleep." He told her seriously.

"What?" She furrowed her brows, "Why? Is something wrong?"

"No." he smiled looking at her carefully, "I was thinking of everything I want to tell you…I owe you an apology Olivia."

"Yes. You do." She said seriously, "You have no idea what it felt like to see you come home drunk…to relive that." She lowered her eyes and then softened the blow, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to some out like that…what do you need to tell me, let's start there."

Elliot knew she was angry with him, but he also knew that she was here with him and she hadn't broken her embrace with him. "I need to tell you that I'm sorry about the last time you were here…when we almost made love."

Olivia furrowed her brows, she was hurt that he didn't want to have another baby but she certainly understood why, what she didn't understand was his need for an apology. "I don't understand."

"Do you remember the first time we made love?" he asked her softly.

She beamed, "I could never forget that."

"You asked me not to hurt you, and I told you I never would…"

"Elliot you-"

"Please Liv, I need to tell you this, I need to tell you I'm sorry for being so rough with you, for pushing you into the wall and entering you when you wer-" he stopped when she placed her fingers over his lips.

"Elliot, you didn't do anything that I didn't let you do."

"I was rough, you asked for me to let you go, and I kept on…I hurt you, I could see it on you're face."

"You were rough." She agreed, "But I was accepting…don't apologize, I wanted to make love to you just as much as you did. I think we were apart for so long that we forgot how to be gentle…we wanted to connect."

"I wanted you." He agreed. "I'm sorry how it ended, I'm sorry I yelled at you Olivia."

"Maybe I did over react…we had just never done that and I freaked out."

"I should have told you." He whispered as he ran his hands absently along her spine.

"Elliot?" she adjusted her head so she was lying on his chest, listening to the beat of his heart.

"Yeah,"

"This would have been Isaac's second Christmas."

"I know. He was only four or five weeks old last Christmas." He spoke softly to her.

She offered a gentle chuckle, "We were so exhausted we didn't even celebrate."

"We should have." He whispered.

"We didn't know we wouldn't have him again." She whispered feeling her eyes mist. She changed the subject quickly, "Did you need to say anything else?"

"I had a whole monologue planned, I have so much to apologize to you for, so much to talk with you about."

Olivia interlaced her hand into his as she rested on his naked chest, "I'm listening."

"I was stupid to turn to alcohol when I should have turned to you." He admitted. "I'm so sorry I put you through that Olivia, I'm so sorry I didn't take the time to talk with you but…" his voice trailed off and she heard his heartbeat sky rocket in a manner of seconds. "I…uh…" his voice cracked with threatening emotion and he stopped in order to regain his composure.

"What is it?" she asked softly positioning her face to see him, it was a phenomena to see Elliot cry, to see a man once so strong actually cry in front of her. "It's okay to tell me, I'm not leaving."

"But you did…you left." He whispered and she felt his entire body tense, "You left me after you promised you wouldn't." he tried to move, and eventually sat up as she established a different position looking at him.

"What?" She furrowed her brows, "I didn't leave you Elliot…I left the alcoholic you became. You pushed me away." She shook her head, "I didn't leave you, I stepped back and let you decide what was important…me or the booze."

"I understand what you did…but it still felt like you left me." He said sitting completely up and flush against the headboard. He lowered his gaze and bit his lip in an effort not to cry.

Olivia caressed his face and looked at him with a compassionate smile, "I'm so sorry you felt like I left you," she kissed the coroner of his mouth, "but can I tell you that I never once thought that we weren't gonna pull through, that you weren't gonna beat this." She whispered and kissed his lips delicately, careful not to engage him completely, "I love you and the reason why I stepped back was because if I hadn't…then we _wouldn't_ have made it." She traced the line of the goatee and spoke, "Can you forgive me for maybe handling the situation wrong? Can you understand that I did what I thought was right?" she whispered.

"I know you wouldn't try to hurt me Olivia. I don't think you have anything to apologize for in this…it's my fault that we fell away from one another."

Olivia furrowed her brows at his comment, there was something entirely too heavy about it, something that told her there was more to what he was saying. "Elliot, it's both of our faults but can you tell me why you feel you're the only one to blame?"

He closed his eyes blinking out a tear. "It's my fault that Isaac is gone."

"What?" she whispered in shock at his self accusation, "Why would you say that Elliot? We didn't know what was happening."

"Olivia," he shook his head and bit his lip, "I'm sorry," he tried to move from the bed, "This was a mistake, you shouldn't have come." He tried to swing his legs around to get up but he felt her quickly pull him back and straddle his thighs so he couldn't move.

"This is _not_ a mistake!" she said firmly holding his face in her hands, "Don't you dare tell me that coming to my husband was a mistake…it never has been. Do you understand me?"

He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, "It's my fault."

"Why?…Tell me." She whispered, running her hand through his still uncut hair. She felt the emotions swarm through his body, his muscles twitch and tense up. He wasn't going to budge. "Take as long as you need Elliot." She whispered wrapping his arms around her waist and resting her chest against his with her head on his shoulder, "Take as long as you need to answer…but please answer."

They rested with one another, her body against his and she was aware that it was nothing more than a much-needed embrace between the two, no wondrous desire, no forming erection, no sensual touch. It was simply an embrace that let one another know they were going to talk this out if it took all day, or the rest of their leave or the rest of their lives. They were determined to make it regardless of the battles they knew they would have to fight.

She felt his arms tighten around her as he exhaled and sniffled before softening his hold. She knew he was crying…she was crying. It was nearly five minutes of silence as he absently rubbed her back with his fingertips that he finally let out a weak whisper, "If I hadn't of killed that boy…we would still have ours."

She shut her eyes tightly. She had no idea he had made that correlation between his time in the war to the loss of they're son. Fighting back her own tears she looked at him and softly caressed his face with her hands, "That's absolutely not true." She whispered as her own tears fell softly over her face, "We don't have Isaac…because someone _took_ him from us, and didn't take care of him." She caught a sob in her throat and leaned her forehead against his, "I thought you were punishing me for losing him…and you were punishing yourself weren't you?"

" I took someone's son…now someone took ours."

"You defended you're self…someone took from us, there is a difference, don't punish your self for what you did in Iraq." She whispered, "I loved you before I knew about it, I loved you after I knew about it and I still love you today." She whispered kissing him gently on the mouth before resting her chin on his shoulder, not wanting to leave from his embrace. She pulled the comforter over the both of them in an effort to warm him as they talked.

"I don't deserve to be here with you Olivia…I let you down," his tears fell faster, "I let our son down." He grabbed at her pajama top balling the cloth into fists at the flurry of emotions that he was experiencing he sobbed aloud, "I miss him so much Olivia."

She cried softly at his confession before forcing out a whisper "I want to hold him again." She admitted crying now unabashedly as she straddled his thighs, "I want to feel him against my breasts again and I want to see his smile," her once gentle cries turned into labored sobs, "And it hurts so bad to know that it won't happen."

They held each other again softly as they mourned with one another. It was painful for them both and they knew the pain the other was experiencing. "You didn't let me down Elliot." She managed to speak through her sobs; "You didn't let Isaac down either."

She felt his chest heave again as he began to cry even harder holding her tighter, "I feel like I want to die, like there isn't a reason for me anymore." He spoke into her shoulder, "I wanted to kill myself so many times Olivia, I wanted to eat my gun." He was holding firmly to her crying like a small boy in her arms.

"I wanted to too." She whispered her confession, "Everyday I woke up I wanted to, but then I remember you and I know I have a reason to be here…you have a reason too Elliot." She whispered wiping her tears away and looking at him, "Me…we need each other."

"I need you." He whispered kissing her cheek softly feeling the warmth of her tears, "You're all I have Olivia." If someone would have told them four years ago that they would be sobbing in the embrace of each other they would have laughed and told the person to shove it, yet here they were broken and continuing to shatter into a million pieces in one another's arms.

After several minutes they found themselves exhausted from crying. Olivia removed herself from the comfort of his lap and allowed him to shift positions so that they were still holding one another as they lay next to each other. "Olivia?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

She sniffled, "Yes."

"Will you promise to be completely honest with me?"

"Absolutely." Although she wondered what it was that she just agreed too.

"Do you blame me?"

Olivia turned to face him with fresh tears in her already red and swollen eyes, "Absolutely not." She said firmly, simply, but then suddenly gave way to something different, "I blame…myself."

Elliot furrowed his brows, he'd thought that she had blamed herself, but he'd also thought that she had worked it through with herself, if anything he'd hoped she did blame him. He didn't want her to blame herself. "What are you talking about Olivia, this wasn't you're fault, just like you said we don't have Isaac-"

"Because I pressured you to go on that stupid trip." She sobbed and hid her face in his chest, "I just needed to get away so bad and if I could do it over I would in a heart beat." She cried into his chest, "I hate myself for leaving him Elliot."

"Olivia, what happened at the cabin between you and I was amazing and special…don't take that away from us. Please?" he stroked her hair gently, "Even if we would have been home, then we'd probably be in Casey and Paul's shoes right now…and we still wouldn't have Isaac."

She exhaled forcefully and wiped a tear quickly, "I never looked at it like that."

"I think we haven't seen a lot of things the way they really are because we're hurting." He whispered.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"CrackerJack?"

He exhaled, "I'm sorry I hid that from you Olivia, I just needed to make sure before I brought it to you."

She wiped more tears and cursed them inwardly, "Do you know what happened?"

"I found a ring of dried antifreeze in their water dish when I was storing their stuff…I realized it was antifreeze and I called Geoff, remember him?"

"The forensic vet guy?" She smiled, "The nerdy guy?"

"Yeah…the currently very wealthy nerdy guy." He responded back, "He told me to bring the dogs down and a sample of their water…lab said it was antifreeze."

"Cragen?"

"I think I better make amends with him first before I start asking him for help don't you think?" he smiled.

"Yeah…you're in hot water with a few people." She laughed, "Your gonna be one apologetic individual." She teased and kissed his mouth softly. "Did you need to get anything else off your chest?" she asked seriously running her hand over his chest softly.

"I think for now, that's all I have, but I'm sure when something comes up I'll be begging for your forgiveness." He smiled. Embracing her tighter. "I'm glad you wanted to wake up with me…I'm glad you came here for Christmas." He moved to kiss her cheek and was surprised when she moved and pressed her lips against his, running her hand along the contours of his jaw and sucking softly on his top lip before slowly slidding her tongue into his mouth where she met his own. She stroked his tongue softly feeling him succumb to her gentle invasion. She ran her tongue over his teeth and smiled hearing him moan and follow her lips when she separated.

He kissed her softly resting his hand on her hip and pulling her to him before smiling as he separated from her, "I have something to show you."

"Oh yeah? What?" she smiled seeing his eyes were lit with happiness.

"Come on," He flipped the covers back with a smile, "I'll show you." She smiled then stopped suddenly.

"What is it?" She asked seriously as she got out of the bed and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Elliot smiled, "It is really cold in here." He shivered and turned to kiss her.

"If you want I can put some clothes in the wash for you." She offered taking his hand as he led her through the hallway before stopping at the end. "What?" she smiled, "The house is a disaster isn't it?" she grinned; "I'll help you straighten up if-" she stopped when he covered her eyes and stepped behind her.

"Remember when we were dating and you said your mom never let you celebrate Christmas?" he asked her leading her into the living room.

"Yeah, so?"

Elliot lowered his hand, "So, Merry Christmas." He rested his chin on her shoulder and embraced her waist tightly.

"That is the most beautiful tree I've ever seen." She whispered covering his hands with hers as she smiled at the tall tree adorned only with white lights and ornaments that she couldn't make out until she got closer. She felt the tears rise in her eyes as she looked at the individual ornaments. "You made these?" she asked softly as she touched the ornament that had a picture of Isaac on it. She recognized it as the first time he started to smile, she and Elliot had virtually tried everything in the book to make him smile, and when he finally did Elliot snapped the picture.

"Well, I didn't make the bulbs," he smiled, "But I did put the pictures in them." He said holding up one of her holding Isaac over her head and smiling at her son. "Any important picture I could find of us, or you since we met."

"They're amazing." She smiled and closed the gap between them, "You're an amazing man." She whispered standing on her tiptoe and kissing him through a smile. "Thank you, I thought this Christmas was going to be so difficult, but you're defiantly making it tolerable." She grinned and rested her hands on his waist, "The house looks good to."

"Took me two days to clean it the way you do." He laughed, "I don't know how you do it in a couple of hours."

"Girl power." She chuckled, "Now lets get your clothes in the washer before you catch pneumonia." She turned to leave but felt him grip her wrist.

"Olivia?" he whispered.

"Yeah, what is it?" she asked feeling the weight of her name come from him.

"I need to tell you that I'm sorry you had to be strong for me." He whispered feeling his eyes warm with tears.

"You're my husband Elliot, for better or worse." She assured him.

"That's not what I meant?"

She reached up and wiped the tear the had escaped his eye and whispered, "Tell me what you meant."

He covered her hand with his and kissed the inside of her palm, "I meant that I'm sorry you had to deal with me instead of being able to cry for Isaac."

Olivia swallowed hard knowing he hit it on the nail, "I needed you to be strong for me too." She whispered swallowing again in an effort to keep her forming sob at bay.

"Can you let me be strong for you now?" he whispered tipping her chin up to meet his gaze.

Olivia pressed her lips together in order to hold back her cries, she shook her head affirming his request as she wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed into his chest. "It hurts so much."

"I know it does Liv." He held her tightly to him, "I can't take it away but I can promise you that you won't be alone in it anymore." He whispered and kissed her gently on the crown of her head before releasing her and wiping her tears dry.

She actually found her self blushing and she offered a weak laugh as she wiped her eyes, "When did I become such a cry baby?" she smiled softly.

"I think you're beautiful when you cry Olivia, I like that you're a hard nosed cop, but I love that you're a gentle woman underneath that." He smiled back at her, "But you know what I would love even more than all of that?" he asked.

"What?"

"Clean clothes." He laughed and walked with her to the laundry room.

"Holy crap Elliot!" she laughed at the mounds of clothing, "I didn't know you even had this many clothes."

"Either did I…until I ran out." He joked back, "Show me what to do so you don't have to keep stopping by and washing." He laughed crouching by the mounds of clothes and shifting them into no particular pile.

She caught what he said, she hadn't told him if she was coming home for good or not because she herself didn't know, she did however appreciate that he wasn't pushing her to make a decision, he was letting her work at her own pace. "Colors go in one pile, whites in another and your suits," She smiled looking at the pile in corner, "don't belong in here…they go to the cleaners." She laughed. "If you would have put those in the wash…they wouldn't have even fit me." She teased him and snapped a wound up pair of slacks at him.

"Oh, Liv, that stung." She smiled rubbing the forming welt on his thigh.

"Next time do you're laundry then." She crouched next to him and helped him sort quickly seeing that he was cold. "What did you wear yesterday?" she asked looking around.

Elliot pointed to the top of the dryer; "I tossed them up there." He said softly.

Olivia pulled the track pants and white t-shirt down and smelled them; "They'll be okay for and hour or so until this load washes."

"Liv! They're dirty."

"What did you do yesterday Elliot?" she tilted her head with a smile.

"Nothing."

"Exactly. Put them on before you get sick." She smiled and kissed his cheek then whispered softly into his ear. "I love you."

He smiled up at her and stood to his feet, "I love you too."

"Want some chocolate?" she asked with a grin, "Warm ya up."

"Sure." He smiled and followed her into the kitchen.

"Did you know," Olivia began conversation reaching for two mugs, "that you were the first person I had hot chocolate with?"

"No," He smiled setting a pot on the stove, "I didn't know that…are you pulling my chain?" he asked retrieving milk from the refrigerator.

"I'm completely serious, my mother wasn't into things like that." She shrugged watching him as he poured the milk. She kissed his shoulder softly and moved around him to grab marshmallows and chocolate from the cupboard.

"Speaking of your mom Olivia, can I ask you something?" he said adjusting the heat and retrieving a wooden spoon from a near by drawer.

"Go for it."

"During our undercover work you told the group you hated ice cream, but I've seen you eat ice cream, why do you eat it if you hate it?" he asked out of curiosity as he began to mix the chocolate over the heat.

"Um," she ran her thumb over her brow in nervousness, "it uh…um, this is stupid." She groaned.

Elliot took the milk off the burner and closed the gap between the two, "Hey, I didn't mean to upset you." He whispered.

"I'm not upset," she blushed, "Embarrassed is more appropriate." She exhaled. "It makes me feel normal." She whispered looking away.

"Normal?" he furrowed his brows.

"Yeah, everyone likes Ice cream…I probably would too if my mother had did what she did, but…I don't know…I just feel normal if I eat it every now and again." She smiled, "Am I weird?"

"No." He shook his head softly and retreated to the freezer, "Olivia," he smiled placing a carton of Ben and Jerry's on the counter and retrieving a spoon, "Today, you are going to understand a whole new meaning behind ice cream." He motioned for her to come to him.

"Elliot, you don't ha-" she stopped her protest when he touched her lips.

"Just work with me here okay?" he smiled and filled half of spoon with the coffee flavored ice cream, "Open up." He smiled and gently inserted the ice cream into her mouth, holding up a hand indicating she shouldn't speak. "The key with ice cream," He smiled and took an equally small bite and mumbling, "is equal distribution." He smiled and took a step forward.

"It taste the sa-" she stopped talking when his lips collided with hers gaining entry into her mouth easily.

Olivia moaned softly at the shocking pleasure of tasting the ice cream and her lover at the same time. She deepened the kiss placing her hands behind his neck and letting him take her mouth completely. He ran his tongue over every warm area of her mouth before taking hold of her bottom lip, sucking softly before trying to separate.

"No." she whispered taking him back to her lips and invading him with a gentleness that made Elliot step back taking her with him. She ran her tongue between his teeth and lips before running her tongue over his teeth and separating with a smile. "That was some amazing ice cream." She kissed his lips again taking the last remnant of the ice cream from him.

"Good." He smiled and put the top back on the ice cream, "We'll have to have ice cream more often." He chuckled putting the ice cream back and tending to the chocolate. "Make you're self comfortable Liv, I'll bring the chocolate over, and if you're good…I'll let you open you're present." He laughed.

Olivia smiled, "I'll go put you're clothes in the dryer first."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"This is really great chocolate." She smiled wiggling her feet under his thighs for warmth.

"The fire should start producing some heat sooner or later." He told her rubbing her legs through her pajamas in an effort to warm her.

"Want to open you're present?" he smiled and moved to the tree to retrieve a package.

"Do you really need to ask?" she grinned taking the perfectly wrapped box into her possession and laughing.

"What's so funny?" he furrowed his brows.

"You can wrap like a professional but can tie your own tie…only you." She smiled and kissed the corner of his mouth.

"Open it." He urged her softly.

Olivia unwrapped the small package and smiled at tiny pair of studded earrings placed carefully in the velvet lining, "Their gorgeous."

"Their Isaac's birthstone." He whispered, "I made sure they were studs so you could wear them at work…have him with you."

She felt her tears rise and she forced out a whisper, "Thank you so much, these are amazing." She leaned into him and kissed him softly on the cheek, "We think a lot a like you know?"

"How's that?" he asked in curiosity.

"Open it." She smiled producing a small wrapped box. To which he laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"You can tie a tie better than any man…but you're wrapping," he shook his head teasing her, "really needs improvement."

She socked him playfully as she laughed, "Open the present Elliot."

He unwrapped it and opened the box revealing a Citizen brand watch, "How did you know I needed one?" he asked softly.

She grabbed his arm softly and pointed to the tan line where his watch once was, "A little birdie told me it was broken when a bounce threw you out of a bar on your butt." She smiled, "Look at the back of it."

Elliot flipped the watch over in his hand and read the tiny inscription, "In memory of our son, Isaac R. Stabler. I love you more than you know, L."

Elliot placed the watch on the coffee table next to her earrings and took her hands into his, "Thank you so much." He whispered kissing her hands and grinning.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah."

"Why did you get Isaac a fish? I understand a gift…but why a fish?" She asked softly.

He lowered his eyes as his smiled faded, exhaling he explained, "I was starting to not want to go into his nursery, I started to forget what he smelled like what the room looked like, so, I put the fish in there so that I would have to go into the room everyday…I don't want to forget him."

She tilted his chin up, "You're a good man…I can't bring myself to go in…the last time I did was on his birthday and it's too much for me." She whispered, "Thank you for packing his blanket for me."

"I saw the pacifier on you're key chain…I know you miss him Liv."

She looked at him intently, feeling something break within her. She stood up and extended her hand for him to follow, "There's something else I miss." She informed him leading him down the hall.

"What's that?" he asked in confusion when she led him to their room.

She turned to him and kissed his mouth letting her desire surface, she pulled away slightly only to lower her lips to his ear, "Making love to my husband."

He grinned and she enjoyed seeing it. "Are you sure you want this right now?" he asked softly not wanting to over step his boundaries.

"I absolutely want you." She smiled, "I want you to make love to me…I want to make love to you."

He brushed her bangs away from her face and smiled, "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you tell me that." He smiled again and kissed her gently, not wanting anything like their last encounter to happen. He slid his tongue into her mouth hearing her almost silent moan as he slid his hand under her pajama shirt and along her spine taking note the she was wearing only a camisole.

He bit softly on her lower lip as he felt her hands graze his abdomen. "I had restless nights Elliot." She told him resting her forehead against his, " I dreamt of your hands on me…I missed you're hands." She whispered kissing him again with a passion that threatened to force her to throw him to the bed and have her way with him, but she wanted him to experience her gentle love knowing full well he'd already experienced her tough love.

"I've wanted to touch you." He whispered unbuttoning her flannel shirt and pushing it off to expose her naked shoulders and perfect breast under the black camisole. "If the truth has to be known," he whispered grazing her breast and feeling her nipples rise under his thumbs, "I thought about having you under me." He smiled kissing her gently and nuzzling her nose softly with his own as he pulled her camisole over her head and feeling her arms drape over his neck.

She pulled him to her kissing him more earnestly before and feeling her chest react even more as he grazed his hands down her shoulder blades, along the muscles of her back and still further slipping them into her waist band.

"Wait." She smiled pulling his hands away from her and grinning at his disappointed look, "I just think you have too many clothes on is all." She laughed and then swallowed hard as he pulled her into him, rubbing softly against her.

"What do you think we should do about that?" he whispered letting his breath cascade along her neck.

She smiled devilishly and pulled his shirt over his head kissing him as soon as she had the opportunity. Feeling his warm flesh against hers, his erect nipples against her, was almost enough to make her orgasm right there. She tried to think of anything to help her body calm it's self, ice cream use to do the trick…now it was an encouragement. She shuddered feeling his tongue and lips move along her neck down to her breast. He took her nipple into his mouth and sucked softly as he moved her backwards to the bed. Unable…and unwilling to stiffen herself anymore she allowed herself to succumb to the orgasm that was stalking her.

He laughed softly feeling her tense up, "Wow…I haven't even gotten you're pants off, yet."

"I've wanted you…craved you for entirely too long Elliot." She whispered against his lips as she pulled him softly down to her allowing him to cover her as she lowered herself on the bed.

He ran his hands over her naked breast smiling when her breath hitched as he kissed her body gliding his tongue over her skin and feeling the rise and fall of her abdomen, "It's been miserable without you Liv." He whispered taking hold of her flannel pants and looking at her seeking her permission. She offered it with the rise of her hips enabling him to bring both pants and panties down her body kissing a gentle trail from her inner thigh down her leg to her ankle until he cast the clothing away and made his way up her other leg starting at the ankle and hearing her moan by the time he kissed gently at her inner thigh.

He grazed her perfectly sculpted mound with his lips and watched her arch at the simple attention he gave her. He moved back up her body feeling her hands run through his short hair. The sensations of the goatee colliding with the softness of her skin was pushing her further to the edge, "Elliot," she panted then gasped feeling his bound erection against her, "you're going to wear me out before-" she moaned feeling him grind into her with a grin.

"I want you so much." He panted taking a nipple back into his mouth and devouring it with a tenderness that made her arch her back and moan for more.

"Please take me." She whispered pulling at his pants until they were out of her reach; she used her feet to take them the rest of the way down.

"I love when you do that." He whispered with a smile then groaned when his naked hips rested against hers.

"Stop talking." She whispered, "I want you inside of me Elliot."

"What happened to foreplay?" he teased.

"Later," she groaned feeling him against her, "I just need you."

He supported his weight above her and looked at her softly, searching her face, "Give me you're wrist."

"Huh? Elliot, please I just want you."

He smiled, "Give me your wrist."

In frustration she raised her hand to him and was surprised when he move her hand to his erection. "Guide me." He whispered.

She smiled at his request and took hold of him, then realized why he'd been so insistent on it. He kissed her softly as she held him, still not guiding him into her. "No protection Liv." He whispered into her ear, feeling her index finger graze him rhythmically.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yeah, I am." He sipped from her bottom lip and moaned into her mouth as he felt her guide him into her body with a gentle upward thrust that caressed him downward into her, resting softly, allowing their bodies to savor in the connection. "You feel amazing." He whispered then smiled feeling her cum immediately without so much as a single thrust.

When she finally settled she smiled, "Sorry."

"Don't be." He kissed her again and started to move softly but then was surprised when she shifted and gained control of him. She rested her hands on his abs for support as she rode him expertly, passionately, tightening her muscles as she rose upwards, loosening on her way down.

"Touch me." She whispered moving over him and moaning as his fingertips moved along her thighs and up the sides of her hips until he was messaging her nipples.

He sat up slowly knowing the change in position would send her on her way to an orgasm. He grabbed her derriere and pulled her harder against him, deeper over him. He felt her hands rest behind his neck drawing him into a deep kiss, whimpering into his mouth with each thrust. She wrapped her legs around him and felt him grimace against her lips at the deeper penetration of her body.

"Make me forget Elliot." She whispered bucking against him, "make me forget we've been apart."

"I'm ready Liv."

"So close." She cried into his mouth then tensed feeling him thrust into her holding her firmly on his lap as she cried out whimpering as he moved still further. She pressed her palms against his chest trying to break the connection that was obliterating her senses but felt her hips grind closer to his as he moved. She kept her hands against him, her body and mind confused as another orgasm ran rampant over her, pulling at him, milking every ounce of strength he had until his body tensed and she felt him release within her in one last agonizing thrust. She grinned against his neck, as he held her, not willing to let her go, not willing to break contact with her.

"Amazing." He panted pulling her down over him as he felt himself decrease. "You have to move." He whispered through a grin.

"I don't want to." She spoke against his shoulder.

He rolled her over to her back, "Give me a little while." He smiled and kissed her, rolling to her side and embracing her tightly. "You…I can't tell you how amazing you felt."

She smiled at him feeling herself blush, "Likewise." She whispered kissing his lips.

"What are you thinking Olivia?"

"Get dressed, I have something for you in the car." She smiled and rolled out of the bed tossing clothes on quickly to avoid the cold.

"I just got warm." He protested.

She smiled and took him by the hand, "It'll be worth it." He got out of the bed and threw his clothes on in a blur, it was entirely too cold. He walked with her to the door and caught the keys she tossed him, "It's in the trunk." She smiled following him out into the gentle snowfall.

"It's cold." He reminded her.

"Shut up." She laughed and waited until he unlocked the trunk.

"There's nothing in here except your duffel bag Liv." He pointed to the trunk, and then realized that it was the duffel he packed. He stared at it forgetting about the cold wondering what she was telling him.

Olivia wrapped her arms around his waist and waited for him to say something.

He stared at the bag for a longer moment and whispered, "Are you coming home?"

She rubbed his back and took his hand into her free one kissing it softly, "If you'll have me."

Elliot withdrew the bag and closed the trunk taking her hand into his unoccupied one, "I want you home." He whispered walking with her back into the house and setting the bag down. "Olivia," he kissed her gently and pulled her waist into his, hearing he gasp at his arousal.

"Already?" she laughed.

"I was wondering if we could warm each other up again." He asked grazing his hand over her breast.

She smiled as she walked with him down the hall, "Merry Christmas, Elliot."


	8. Chapter 8 The Entire Sea Cries

Divided We Fall

Chapter 9 The Entire Sea Cries

"You're still up? You're suppose to be napping" Paul smiled standing in the doorway of their home office watching Casey flip through one book only to mark it with her finger and flip through another comparing both passages. When there was no response he walked to her slowly and simply closed the books with a smile, "It's Christmas…no working on Christmas."

"Researching." She corrected him with a smile.

"Same thing." He laughed, "Come on."

"Where are we going?" she smiled picking up her cane and standing with a little more finesse than she had with the walker.

"Living room." He laughed and extended his forearm for her to take hold of as she walked with him. A careful manipulation of leaning on the cane, taking a step, and holding on to her husband.

"I can't research in the living room." She informed him.

"Exactly," he smiled and helped her softly to the couch, "Want you're feet up?"

"My back is bothering me." She spoke almost as if she were telling herself a mental memo.

"How so?" he crouched near her a look of concern and worry over his face.

"My spine." She winced holding his neck as he helped her stretch her feet out.

"Maybe you're researching too much." He suggested, "Maybe we need to work more on you're exercises?"

Casey blushed and then chuckled, "Maybe I just need to open my Christmas present." She nodded over to the tree.

Paul shook his head with a smile, "I love your directness counselor." He retrieved a small package that he had conspicuously rested on a branch of the tree. "Here ya go Casey, Merry Christmas." He smiled and sat Indian style on the floor next to the couch.

"They say big things come in small packages." She arched her brow and smiled as she took the lid off of the box revealing a little black box inside. "What did you do?" She laughed then gasped seeing the ring inside. "It's stunning." She whispered.

"It's a wedding band." He smiled slipping the simple band she wore off and retrieving the new one. "I had Sara's birth stone put next to the diamond, then I had the birthstone for this little one," he grinned touching her belly, "put on the opposite side, they're flush with the band so it doesn't look gaudy." He smiled slipping the ring on and kissing her softly on the mouth happily surprised when he felt her hands wrap around his neck and pull him into a deeper kiss, allowing her tongue to caress him gently before separating and smiling.

"You know," she spoke softly following the line of his jaw with her fingertip, "This whole spinal injury thing is really starting to suck." She laughed and kissed him again through a smile. "I have something for you."

"Really?" he grinned. "That's impossible, you haven't been out."

"So you think." She smiled, "Olivia took me out the other day."

"Oh really?" he caressed her belly again, "And what type of damage did our credit cards sustain?" he laughed knowing full well that between the two of their careers there was absolutely no need to worry about money. In fact, he had done the calculations when he found out Casey was pregnant, and while he wouldn't suggest it to her, he knew she didn't have to work if she didn't want to.

"Oh, well American Express took a hard hit." She laughed, "I'm playing, actually, I hope you don't mind, but I got you something simple…something I know is going to make you smile."

"Ooh, sounds intriguing." He smiled, "Where might I find this gift?"

"All the way behind the tree, under Alex's gift, and by the way…thank you for doing the Christmas shopping this year…I don't think I could have." She smiled appreciatively, but sadly knowing it was her favorite time of the year and she was stuck to a couch like a sweat stain from a couch potato.

"Don't mention it." He said retrieving the small box, "You're sneaky Casey." He informed her reclaiming his position next to her.

"I'm a lawyer…you should have seen it coming a mile away." She teased, "Open it."

Paul grinned opening the small shirt box and unfolding the tissue paper to reveal a tiny baby blue onsie with an embroidered scene of a child scientist on the front. Paul laughed reading the shirt, "I am my father's son." He laughed harder and then suddenly stopped, "Wait…Casey, are you telling me…" he smiled looking back at the shirt, "A son?"

"Yeah…we're having a boy." She smiled.

He beamed and kissed her lips passionately, the only way he knew how to convey what he was feeling in that particular moment. "A son? Are you sure?" he smiled searching her face.

"According to the ultrasound two weeks ago." She laughed running her hand along his hairline.

"I thought the doctor said she couldn't make it out…I didn't think we'd ever know." He smiled.

"I told her a head of time to say that…I wanted to tell you myself." She smiled, " Are you happy?"

"No."

"No?" She furrowed her brows.

"No…I'm ecstatic." He laughed kissing her cheek.

"Brat."

"Sneaky."

"Again…lawyer." She chuckled interlacing her hands with his.

"Where'd you find a shirt like this anyway?" he asked looking at the scientist.

"The science museum…they have anything and everything, it's pretty interesting." She laughed feeling his hand slide under her shirt and rub absently against her belly.

"You know what?" he thought to himself before answering, "I'm a scientist…and I've never been there…that's sad." He laughed.

"You've never been there?" she asked a little shock, "You, whose idea of fun is reading about chromosome migration, has never been there?"

"Nope." He shrugged.

"When I get better, we can go together then." She smiled, "I'm walking a lot better now, but I don't know if I can walk that long…so maybe in a couple of weeks?"

"Yeah, yeah I'd like that." He laughed and looked at the shirt again. "Casey?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you tell Olivia?" he asked holding up the shirt, "When she took you shopping, did you tell her we were having a boy?"

"She figured it out…I guess it was the blue shirt." She sighed, "She congratulated us…but I think this might be rough on her."

"Then were going to have to figure out a way to make it 'not rough'." He said, "I don't want them to hurt, and I don't want them to distance themselves from us because it's too difficult for them…dinner?"

"I'll call her…oh guess what?" she smiled.

"What?"

"I called Alex's apartment to wish her and Olivia a Merry Christmas…"

"And?"

"Guess who went home to be with her husband?" she waggled her brows.

"Really?" He smiled, "That's great, I hope they work this mess out." He smiled kissing her hand.

"Yeah, well I think they are."

"How do you know?"

"Alex said Olivia left a wad of money for room and board while she was there, and packed her stuff…I bet you they are having some insane make up sex."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She formed the snowball carefully, an oddly round ball didn't fly through the air well, and if it was packed too tightly, and it made contact, it could do damage. The art of snowball warfare was delicate. She didn't want to hurt him; after all they had a lot more time in the day to 'warm each other up' as Elliot kept telling her.

She stayed hidden behind the shed, back flush against the wall as if she were hunting a perp with a gun instead of her husband with a snowball. It was silent until she heard the sound of crunching snow. He was near, just on the other side of the shed, he weighed too much to walk softly on the snow. She tiptoed going left while she determined the sound of his steps to be going right, she moved quickly, careful to stay against the shed, to not give her position away.

He was in her sights, _too easy_, she smiled chambering the snowball back in her arm and winding up with as much force as possible. She aimed dead center between his shoulder blades and launched.

The impact surprised him. He flinched then turned slowly to see Olivia holding back a laugh, "Oh, you are so dead." He ran after her only to receive another snowball to the chest, "I'm gonna get you Liv." He laughed seeing she had finally taken flight, she might have been all endurance but his ego had been wounded and needed redemption, he caught her quickly embracing her waist and pulling her around, allowing his body to fall first only to catch the weight of her own.

"I got you fair and square buddy." She laughed trying to wiggle her way out of his hold only to find him hovering over her.

"You pack a heck of a wallop Liv." He smiled, "But in the end, I prevailed."

"Only because I let you." She arched her brow, "Remember that." She smiled and lifted her head to kiss him gently. " I can't feel my legs." She winced breaking away.

"What?" Elliot was suddenly panicked, "Is it too cold? Did I hurt you?" he looked at her full of concern.

"No," She laughed turning red, "You're sitting on my legs chunky monkey."

"Chunky Monkey?" he laughed at the remark, "How dare you ma'am."

"Please," She grazed his abdomen, "You've gained your weight back…and then some." She teased.

"Are you calling me chubby?" he feigned hurt.

Olivia kissed him again, "Maybe I like chubby…but can you get off of my legs?" she laughed as he stood and helped her up.

"Hey guess what?" she smiled interlacing her hands with his and watching their breath exchange between the two in the cold.

"What?" he smiled stepping forward and allowing her to rest her head on his chest.

"Seems you and I are going to have a nephew in three months." She chuckled, "Casey's having a boy."

"Really…that's great." He smiled and huddled close to her, "Did you tell her about changing a little boy's diaper…the dangers involved?"

Olivia laughed, "Casey is more of a hands on learner than an audible learner." She smiled and looked up at him, "Can I tell you something?"

"Absolutely."

"I'm happy for them."

"But?"

"But I'm a little jealous too." She whispered.

"I think that's normal Liv…considering." He assured her kissing her forehead.

"Promise me something Elliot?"

"I'll try."

"Don't let us distance ourselves from them…even if it's hard okay?" she whispered against his chest holding back a forming tear.

Elliot cupped the back of her head and allowed her to rest against him, "I promise."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alex looked at her watch, _fifteen minutes_; she smiled and gave herself one more look over in the mirror. She exhaled knowing that tonight she would either continue to be engaged, or devastated, she would be able to tell her friends to prepare for a wedding, or she would tell them that there was a mutual separation between her and Robert.

She was snapped form her thoughts at the sound of the doorbell, _early_, she smiled one last time in the mirror, "If he loves you…he'll stay." She told herself as the doorbell rang again and she walked slowly, almost whishing she didn't have to go through with it, but as she opened the door, she forced a smile. "Robert, you're early." She chuckled.

"I'm always early." He smiled, a glint of pure happiness in his green eyes, "I got movies." He waved a bag in one hand, "And pizza." He said motioning to the box.

"Something was open on Christmas?" she laughed closing the door behind him as he walked in.

"I keep tellin' you Al, this is a sac religious city." He grinned teasing her. Robert was born and raised in New York and loved every minute and every corner of the city life.

"What movies did you get?" she asked pulling plates out of the cabinet.

He opened the bag not even having taken his long jacket off yet and held the DVD's up as he named off the titles, "Raising Helen, Christmas Story, Notebook-"

"You are such a chic flick guy," she teased him looking at his selection, "do you're guy friends know about this little fetish?"

He blushed, "I like a good romance." He admitted then withdrew another movie, "But I also like a good scare." He said displaying a copy of Amityville Horror.

"Hate to break it to you." She said kissing his lips softly through a smile, "That movie…is anything but scary." She chuckled.

"What about Texas Chainsaw Massacre then?" he smiled holding the DVD between them.

"Oh…now you're thinking." She smiled, "Haven't seen this yet."

"Want to watch it first…then we can use the chic flicks to offset the gruesome images." He suggested.

"Sure." She smiled, "Let me take this." She offered sliding her hands up from his chest to his shoulders feeling the muscular sculpture under her hands. She slid his jacket off and draped it over the back of a chair.

"I really like it when you touch me." He smiled, almost blushing at the chillness of his remark.

Alex bit her lip but couldn't hold back her grin, "Well, then, I'll have to remember to touch you more often." She smiled and watched as he moved about inserting the DVD into the player. While she normally wouldn't have dated a man like him, she felt her stomach drop about three floors when she laid eyes on him. It was his salt and pepper colored hair that struck her, how, on him it made him look sexy, not old. She loved that.

"Ready to loose your lunch Al?" he smiled motioning her to sit with him on the couch.

His humor, the ridiculous nickname that made her sound like some teenage tomboy, his touch, and gentle kiss, they were all why she loved him. And if he left her tonight, she knew that would all be ripped away from her when he walked out the door.

He laid down on his side and let her curl up next to him and while she's always loved a good horror flick she found herself unconsciously clutching at his jeans during parts that were just slightly shy of traumatizing. It was when he grabbed her, though, that she laughed hysterically, "Don't grab me, what am I suppose to do?" she laughed and then gasped at the images on the screen, "This is a great movie."

"You're twisted."

"Never said I wasn't." she smiled covering his hands over her abdomen with her own.

When the movie credits rolled he tried to sit up allowing her lay with her head against the arm of the couch, "Want to watch Raising Helen?" He smiled with his hand on her thigh.

She looked at him with an intensity that she knew he felt. She wanted to convey the meaning of her glance through silence but knew she had to verbalize the reason he must leave her. She is fallacy…he is truth.

Sensing her sudden shift in mood he smiled, "Or we can rewind this bad boy and watch it again." He chuckled fascinated that she actually loved to sit through horror flicks with him.

_You're pruned if you do, and you're pruned if you don't so you may as well prune_. She told herself as she exhaled deeply and forced out what she thought would be a strong voice, but presented itself as a weak whisper, "I need to talk to you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You know," Elliot, whispered into Olivia's ear as she lye against his chest on the couch, "I think I know a way where you don't have to feel jealous about Casey's baby boy."

"Tell me." She whispered, wondering why they were whispering in the confines of their own home.

"We could try for twins…show her up." He smiled against her as she let out a small laugh.

"Elliot, last time I checked, twins weren't something you _tried_ for…they either happen or they don't." she said through a grin, glad that they were slowly being able to a have a sort of gallows humor about some things.

"I didn't say we would _have_ twins…I just said we could _try_…a lot" He whispered grazing her clothed nipple with his thumb.

"How could you possibly be ready for more." She smiled turning to face him, and whispering, as if she were telling him a secret "My body is still shaking."

"I know. I can feel you." He grinned, proud of himself that he could do so such things to her body.

She ran her hand over his hair that he still hadn't cut, "How long has it been since you cut you're hair?"

"Since the last time you did it." He said softly.

"Elliot!" she smiled, "That was over four months ago."

"Yeah, well…I didn't want to go into town to get it cut." He smiled, "Besides I think I look ravishing." He said cockily, and thankfully, sarcastically.

"Or like you've _been_ ravished." She smiled, "You hate to have you're hair long." She whispered kissing the corner of his mouth, "What gives?"

"I don't like them cutting my hair." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Elliot." She arched her brows, "The real reason."

He blushed, "I like when you cut it Liv…I like you close."

"The hair dresser stands close." She smiled.

"Well," Elliot grinned "_he_ is definitely _not_ you…doesn't smell like you either."

"Well then." She stood up offering him her hand, "Let's go hunt down the clippers." She smiled and led him into the bathroom where he sat on the closed lid of the toilet draping a towel around his shoulders.

"How short do you want it, Sir?" She asked smiling with the scissors in her hand.

"Well, my wife likes my hair more than I do…you should probably ask her." He teased resting his hands on her hips, as she stood in front of him.

"Bald it is." She said confidently, pulling his chain.

"Not bald." he moved his head back, "In a few years I'll _be_ bald…no need to rush the process." He said seriously.

"I'm just playing with you El." She smiled at his self-consciousness, as she wet his long mop with a spray bottle and ran a brush through it, "Ready?"

"Yeah."

Olivia ran a comb through his hair trimming off the excess when she reached the end of the strand and returning to repeat the process when he took hold of her elbow.

Olivia smiled, "What?"

"Take you're shirt off." He said pulling at the hem of her white Tee.

"What?" she furrowed her brows at the oddity of his request.

"Take you're shirt off Liv."

"It's cold." She protested, "You take you're shirt off." She challenged him.

Elliot pulled the towel from his neck into his lap and quickly pulled his white t-shirt over his head before returning the towel to its rightful place. "You're turn." He grinned.

Olivia blushed and rested her haircutting tools on the counter before crossing her hands in front of her and removing her shirt letting it fall to the floor before picking up the scissors and comb and returning to his hair. "What do you think ab-"

She stopped mid-sentence, mid-cut, feeling his hands slide up her spine, "Sit on my lap."

"Your hair." She reminded him softly before feeling the cool air embrace her breast as he unhooked and slid her bra off her shoulders. "It wont be eve-" she tried to explain to him that it wouldn't look correct if he kept doing what he was doing, but when she felt the gentle warmth of his mouth take a nipple into his embrace she new arguing with him would be useless.

"Sit on my lap Liv." He smiled pulling her down against him and watching her close her eyes momentarily as she felt him under her.

"I don't know if I can handle it again Elliot." She confessed with a sheepish smile.

"That's not what I want." He whispered to her kissing her mouth and sliding his tongue in and then out when she arched her head back.

"This is weird." She confided in him but not withdrawing herself from the position.

"Why?"

"It seems out of character for us…the restroom I mean." She smiled then moaned as he nipped at her flesh just above her breast. "Seems naughty." She spoke then felt her breath hitch as he pulled her waist closer to him the gruffness of his goatee sliding against her skin.

"I told you, that's not what I want." He slid down slowly kissing along her collarbone.

"Then what do you want?" she smiled at the feeling of his tongue making it's way along her shoulder before lowering to her breast.

"When were you going to tell me about this?" he asked kissing the new and incredibly curious tattoo that was placed just slightly on the curve of her breast. "And this?" he asked kissing her lips but touching an almost identical tattoo placed on her rib cage on the same side.

"I didn't think you noticed." She smiled looking down at him; "You didn't say anything this morning."

"I saw…I know every inch of you're body." He assured her.

"Oh please." She smiled play slapping his chest then finding her self caught off guard when he touched her ear softly.

"You had a piercing here." He whispered grazing the small speck of a closed hole that looked like she hadn't actually worn an earring there since high school. "You have a scar here, that you've never told me how you got." He whispered pointing to the scar near her eyebrow. He slid his fingers along her triceps, "You work on your triceps to tone you're arms, but you avoid you're biceps because you don't want to look manly."

She smiled almost hating the fact that, not only did he know her body, he knew her thoughts, "You're abdomen flexes when you climax, and when that happens I can't see these two scars." He informed her keeping eye contact with her but placing his fingertips on the exact two scars he was talking about. He moved his hands along her legs, "You make sure that you work out you're legs," he said tracing the definition of her quadriceps, "because you know that's what makes you faster in a foot chase, it's what makes you stronger in an attack."

Elliot moved his hand to the back of her bent knee watching her shudder at his touch, "You cut you're self shaving right here." He whispered rubbing the scar before making his way to her shin and stopping exactly on the point he wanted to talk about as he looked at her, "This is the only mole you have." He kissed the corner of her mouth, hearing her swallow hard keeping her eyes closed as he ran his fingers up her ribs, "I know every inch of you're body Olivia," he whispered stopping at each of the new tattoos, "but these are new…tell me."

Olivia smiled knowing that he was the only man that knew she'd cut herself behind her knee, she exhaled knowing what she would tell him next would also garner him the honor of being the only person to know. She took hold of his hand and brought it to the scar just below her eyebrow, "My mother…hit me with a bottle of Jack Daniels." She whispered watching his smile fade to seriousness as she brought his hand to the tiny tattooed hand that rested precariously between the flat plane between her breasts and the gentle formation of her right breast. "Do you remember that paper of you're handprints, then mine on yours and Isaac's on both of ours?"

"Yeah." He smiled then furrowed his brows rubbing his finger over the tiny tattooed handprint, "Isaac's?"

"Casey gave me the idea…she has Sara's foot prints on her back."

"Really?"

"Are you upset?" she watched him carefully.

He touched both hands simultaneously, gently, "Did it hurt?"

She brought his hand to her ribs, "This one…a little bit."

"Why did you put them here?" he asked touching them both, marveling that his son's hands were right in front of him.

Olivia felt the tears rise in her eyes, she sniffled then answered, "When he would eat," she chuckled softly through her tears wiping her nose with the back of her hand, "He always rested his hands in the exact same spots…never failed." She smiled. "I miss that."

Elliot stared at the handprint near her breast and closed his eyes, clenching his jaw trying to keep himself from crying at the beautiful site in front of him.

"Are you upset with me El?"

"What?" he shook his head and smiled, "No…I…they're amazing Liv." He lowered his lips to her breast and nuzzled the tiny hand feeling Olivia drape her arms over him and embrace him tightly as he openly wept against her body. When he'd finally calmed she pulled away slowly to look at him through her own watery eyes, "I love you." She whispered kissing his mouth softly as she stood to her feet and without regard for replacing her clothing continued to cut his hair.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What is it?" Robert asked softly seeing the distress in Alex's eyes. He sat up allowing her to sit opposite from him, "If the movie was too much I'm sor-"

She chuckled at his innocence, at the fact that she may loose him tonight. The tear that fell was beyond her control and she almost winced when he reached out to wipe it, not because she didn't want him to touch her, to care for her, but because if she never saw him again, she needed to start to distance herself as much as possible.

"Alex," he rested his hand on her thigh, "Whatever it is, you know you can tell me, you know I'll listen to you."

She took her glasses off and placed them gently on the coffee table, "I don't know…" her voice trailed off as she stood up raking her hand through her hair, "I'm…I can't do this." She exhaled clasping her hands behind her neck and starring at the ceiling in an effort to keep her tears from falling.

"Tell me." He whispered in her ear and turning her to face him, "Tell me what's bothering you Al."

She shook her head and pressed her lips together unable to meet his eyes.

"Alex-"

The anger surfaced in a heartbeat, not at him…but because of him, "YOU!" she yelled in agony, "You are the problem!" she barked pointing here and there, anywhere but at him.

Stunned, he starred back at her. Calmly he spoke, "What did I do?" he shook his head not sure if actually had done something.

She caught the sob in her throat and whispered defeated, "You made me fall for you."

Robert blinked and shook his head, "I am so lost." He smiled; "You're angry because you fell in love with me?" he asked trying to clarify the situation.

"Yes! And it isn't a bit funny." She tried to be firm but he was slowly melting her.

"You're scared…it's understandable Al." He tried to assure her.

"No.."

"Then what?"

"It's…you're gonna hate me." She sniffled finding it odd that the tough law bending, courtroom attacking, Alex Cabot is being made to cry.

"I'll never hate you." He whispered, "Sit with me," he tugged her down to the couch with him, "talk to me."

Alex looked at him and swallowed the pain that threatened to surface, "When I tell you this," She took a deep breath, "you're going to question if you really know me at all."

"Alex," he laughed softly and caressed her tear stained cheek, "the only thing that matters…the only thing that I need to know is that I love you and you love me," he furrowed his brows, perhaps that's what the pain is all about, "do you love me Alex?"

She shook her head affirming his request, "I love you." She whispered gruffly, her voice heavy with the impending conversation.

"Then let's hear what you need to say." He smiled and kissed her lips softly then feeling her kiss him with a passion and desire that made him both happy and worried. Happy that she was kissing him worried that she was kissing him as if she never would again. She separated slowly and rested her forehead against his, her hands still caressing his cheeks.

"I'm not who you think I am." The words fell from her mouth and she feared Pandora's box had been opened.

Without hesitation or consideration of what she had said he touch her cheeks softly and smiled as he whispered, "Then, tell me who you are…let me hold you, let me be here."

Alex laid her head on his chest wondering if it would be the last time he held her, "Don't you find it odd that I'm a teacher and all of my friends are either cops or attorney's?"

"Well, Paul's a scientist isn't he?" he tried to sooth her with humor but found it wasn't working, "Yes, I thought about it once, but you're good at what you do, I trust you."

"Great." She said dryly. "That makes this easier." She covered her words in sarcasm.

"I don't ever want it to be hard for you to come to me."

"I didn't start teaching right out of college like I told you." She blurted.

"Okay." He stroked her hair and chuckled, "Was that you're big secret?"

Alex took a deep breath, "I was the ADA of New York City, prosecuting sex crimes."

"Did you enjoy it?"

She shot up from his embrace, "Did I enjoy it!" she shrieked back shocked at his seemingly easy acceptance that she had hidden this from him.

"Yeah," he smiled, "Did you enjoy it?" he shrugged and pulled her reluctant body back to him, "Relax Al."

"How can you just not care that I lied to you?" she questioned.

"I never asked you what you did before teaching…technically you didn't lie."

"Wow…now _you_ sound like the lawyer." She chuckled then sobered, "there's more…a lot more."

"I'm still listening." He interlaced his fingers with hers, "Never stopped."

"I can't be specific…you'll have to trust me with what I say." She informed him before putting herself out further.

"Never said I didn't trust you."

"I went after someone," her voice trailed off and for the first time in years she feels the pain that she never allowed herself to feel. He embraced her tighter.

"I was walking out of a bar with colleagues and…" she let herself grow quiet and nuzzled into his body, "I was shot." She whispered and felt his hand touch the scar on her shoulder.

"This?"

She nodded her head 'yes' and felt him kiss her cheek, "I love you."

"There's more."

He chuckled, "Okay, lay it on me."

"This is serious."

"I agree."

"I…I went into witness protection for four years, I was released about a month before I met you." She felt him embrace her tighter and she thought for a second that maybe he'll stay.

"Al,"

"Yeah?"

"Is that all?"

"Yeah."

"No big deal." He smiled.

"How can you say that?"

"Because, what I'm about to tell you is gonna throw you for a loop." He said, and she swore she sensed his voice change from a cheerful caring lover to a man concerned with his fiancé leaving _him_.

She sat up and looked at him, obviously shocked but the lawyer in her was suddenly sparked, the curiosity was over riding the fact that the way he broached this particular subject should have her very worried.

"What if I already told you I knew what happened to you?" he suggested softly.

She backed away quickly scared that maybe there still was a credible threat to her life, maybe Velez had found her, "Who are you!" she shrieked standing to her feet and backing quickly into the kitchen the unmistakable mark of terror swimming frantically through her eyes.

"Alex." He stood slowly raising his hands in surrender, "I'm not here to hurt you," he walked closer to her as she backed herself into the corner, "I didn't know about the witness protection-"

"You just said you did!" she yelled running her hands along the counter looking for anything she could use as a weapon.

"Alex," he remained calm as he walked slowly to her, "I said I knew what happened to you…I knew you were suppose to be dead, that's all." He assured her standing only feet from her, "I met you years ago Alex."

She furrowed her brows, "What the hell are you talking about?"

He smiled softly, "Alex, I read the papers, you were dead."

"How did you know me then?" now she was the one lost.

"Do you remember a case where the defendant defended himself? I forgot his name but he stalked and raped women."

"Yeah, so?"

"Al," he stepped forward seeing she was relaxing, if only slightly, "you dismissed me from jury duty." He chuckled, "You asked me if I thought stalking was wrong…I thought you were gorgeous and I tried to flirt with you," he blushed, "you dismissed me without a second thought."

She looked at him shocked, "Beard."

"What?"

"You had a beard…I remember that!" she laughed, "you were handsome…you looked different."

"Lasik surgery." He smiled, "And a nice razor...are you suggesting I don't look handsome now?"

"Why didn't you say something?" she asked ignoring his comment and not knowing if she should be hurt or angry or accepting.

"Al," he took hold of her hand and cupped her cheek with his other, "some one went through great lengths to pretend you were dead…I'm not a dumb man, I knew something was up…but I loved you, and I wanted you, so I waited until you wanted to tell me."

Alex closed her eyes blinking silent tears and feeling him embrace her, "I love you Al…bullet wounds and all." He chuckled hearing her laugh in his ear. "Please don't be upset with me Alex."

"Upset?" She shook her head, "You've known all this time…and you still loved me, I'm not upset." She smiled and kissed him gently on the mouth, "Are you upset that I didn't tell you sooner, that I lied?"

"I'm not upset, I wish you could have felt safe enough with me to tell me sooner but I understand and I don't hold it against you." He smiled, "Can I kiss you?"

"Please." She grinned and kept her lips separated as his met hers. He rested his hands possessively on her hips and sipped softly from her lower lip before separating.

"So, Al."

"Yeah?" she smiled resting her hands on his chest.

"When are you gonna tell you're friends you're marring a hot teacher?" He smiled kissing her forehead.

She laughed hysterically, "Starting right now…I want to tell everyone I see."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dr. Melinda Warner tossed her pen on her desk and pinched the bridge of her nose. She should have been at home with her husband yet she had been so far behind on paperwork she had no choice but to come in. She couldn't understand how she had so much work to do, after all, as a medical examiner, her clients we're usually dead.

She leaned back in her chair making a mental note that she still had a cadaver that needed to be bagged and tagged then stored in the cold box until the body was claimed. She hated that part, the part of letting a body simply wait until it was identified or claimed.

She leaned forward and took hold of another file, another dead life in her hands. She opened it and filled in the sequential number that was to high for her to even contemplate. She shook her head telling herself she needed another job, but the reality of the situation was that she was the best at what she did. The lectures she had been invited to do, the teams that came from all over the world to observe her proved it. Why then, did she feel as though she never made a difference? It never got easier seeing a mother and father identify their daughter that was brutally raped and killed, it never got easier telling a family she couldn't determine the cause of death. It just never got easier.

Frustrated, she closed the file and slid it forcefully away spilling her coffee on the desk, "Dang it!" she yelled into the atmosphere pushing the files off the desk, better scattered than wet. She exhaled and grabbed paper towels from a nearby cupboard, she sopped up the liquid and made sure the surface was dry and not sticky before she knelt to gather her folders.

It was a sea of manila file folders that were on the floor, with one curiously large yellow envelope that stood out like a pregnant high jumper. She looked at it suspiciously and tried to remember when she would have received it. Coming up blank she forsook the manila sea knowing it would be there if the enveloped proved uninteresting. She retrieved the envelope and looked at the 'received' stamp that indicated it had been there for a little over two weeks. "Am I really that far behind?" she asked herself out loud as she sat back in her chair.

The thick and entirely too heavy envelope had a typed label with her name and address on it. A return address or visible indication of where it may have come from wasn't available. Retrieving a letter opener from her desk she ran it through the flap opening the contents and finding a case file inside. Deciding she was pressed for time and didn't want to get emotionally invested on a name she skipped the information tab on the file and opened it seeing a typed, loose leaf note lying on top. She read the peculiar letter.

_Dr. M. Warner, ME:_

_When one in blue mourns, the entire sea cries. When leaders forsake their crew, the sea must rise up. Rise._

_Blue._

"Christmas just got interesting." She chuckled not understanding the riddle until she moved the paper and finally understood. Interesting was an understatement, catastrophe was far more appropriate.


	9. Chapter 9 Happy New Years

Divided We Fall

Chapter 9 Happy New Years

Melinda Warner sat back in her chair. In a matter of seconds she became unconcerned with the fact that she was working on Christmas, she was unconcerned with the corpse that still needed to be bagged and stored and she was completely unconcerned with the twenty some odd files she had tossed on the floor, salvaging from the river of coffee she'd spilt.

She picked up the note again and re-read it over and then over again until she had it virtually memorized, the problem was…she still didn't understand it. She flipped through the file passing momentarily on looking at photos, but noticing that any pertinent information that may lead to wear the file came from or at least what precinct it came from was blacked out. The only available information was a description of the victim's remains. She sighed and flipped through the file again, scrutinizing the information, looking for any viable clue as to what she was even looking at. How was she to know what she was looking for if she couldn't determine what she was looking at? Frustrated she filed the case file in the cold case cabinet in her office and returned to pick up the sea of manila files.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The day after Christmas, Elliot found himself waiting anxiously for a man he really didn't want to have to talk to. He watched as the older gentleman stood next to the diner table, "Thank you for coming." Elliot stood motioning for Cragen to sit in the seat across from him, "You certainly didn't have too."

"No, I didn't." Cragen shook his head then smiled, "But you and Liv are family…I'm always available for you two."

Elliot shook his head acknowledging his remark and feeling guilty for not having kept in contact with him while he and Olivia had been on leave, "How are things at the house?"

"Same crimes different perps." He said matter of factly before telling the waitress he'd have the usual.

"Munch and Fin?"

"Still trying to kill each other." He exhaled and shifted in his seat, "But you're not here to ask about the one six or Munch and Fin are you?" he sighed.

"No, no…I wanted to tell you that," he ran his hand over his new hair style, "I'm sorry."

Cragen leaned back into the padded booth and starred at him silently before offering a response, "You had just lost you're son…I can over look it."

Elliot shook his head and he vaguely tried to remember if he had ever had to apologize to Cragen before, when he couldn't remember he continued, "I'm sorry we didn't keep in contact with you and they guys it's been-"

"Olivia kept in contact." He offered, "There's no need to apologize for you being an ass, I've experience it for twelve years Stabler…and I've missed it the last couple of months." He smiled, "Tell me…how is Olivia doing?" he asked seeing no reason to keep an unneeded apology going. He was just happy to be talking with him again.

"That woman is strong." Elliot said for the first time stunning himself with the realization that his wife was the strongest person he'd known, "But…there's something there that hasn't broken completely in her yet…I'm worried about her." He confessed.

"Why's that?" Cragen asked clearing his setting for the sample platter the waitress sat on the table.

"She let's the pain come here and there, but I don't know…she doesn't seem to be taking it as hard as I have." He rubbed his neck, "I know she's hurt but, I think she's bottling it and I can't get it out of her." He shook his head.

" Elliot," Cragen leaned in and spoke softer, "Olivia has had a lot of very difficult things to deal with in her life, to her, this is probably par for the course." He shook his head, "She's a master at hiding her hurt; you know that."

"I know…I'm just worried what's gonna happen when it finally surfaces."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You are so fat!" Olivia laughed pointing at Casey who simply smiled.

"I'm a pregnant woman…supposed to be fat." She laughed, "Although I got about eight weeks for this little guy to get out of me." She smiled rubbing her belly then jumping slightly, "Olivia, give me you're hand." She smiled taking her hand and laying it on her swollen belly.

Olivia felt the kick and laughed, "Wow, he's strong." She smiled feeling him kick again.

"And hungry." Casey laughed, "Want to get some food at the food court?" She nodded toward the buffet lines, "I kind of need a rest anyway."

"Sure," Olivia smiled, knowing that while Casey had pleaded with her to take her shopping, they both knew Casey probably wouldn't be able to shop long. It was her first trip out without the cane and Olivia sensed her nervousness. She walked slow, deliberate, and although she tried to hide her concern with falling Olivia felt Casey grab onto her forearm for balance every now and again. "How about you tell me what'chya want and I'll grab it for you?" Olivia suggested.

"Na, I'll walk through the line but can you carry the food back…it wouldn't be too good to fall on my sweet and sour pork." She chuckled making her way slowly to the buffet, thankful there wasn't a line. After ordering, Olivia arranged the food on one tray and walked slowly back to an available table.

"So," Casey said smiling and pouring the sweet and sour sauce over her white rice. "How are you and Elliot doing?"

"Great!" Olivia smiled dipping an egg roll into the hot mustard, "He's really made some huge changes even in just the last month."

"And you Liv? How are you doing?" Casey asked with concern.

"Tired." She said dryly, tossing the egg roll onto the plate, "anxious…nervous…worried…and any other emotion that's capable of giving me an ulcer." She smiled softly and opened her bottle of water taking a sip before re capping it.

"What's going on?"

Olivia sighed and tucked a loose tendril of hair behind her ear, "Can I ask you a personal question…that might hurt?" Olivia said putting the plastic fork down.

"Well," Casey wiped sauce from her chin and smiled, "I always ask you rough questions, I'm sure you can have one, here or there, what would you like to know?" She asked taking a bite of the pork.

Olivia thought it was humorous how much the woman loved sweet and sour pork, how she closed her eyes just for a split second to savor the taste, "When you lost… you're first baby and then got pregnant with Sara…was it hard?"

Casey's chewing slowed and a hard swallow ensued, looking down at the food she suddenly didn't find appealing she answered, "It was bitter sweet."

"Casey, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to upset you." Olivia said softly.

"You didn't upset me." She smiled, feeling her eyes mist, "I was actually talking to Paul about the baby yesterday…I carried Sara to seven months…I'm barely over seven months, I'm nervous right now." She confessed softly, "I'm glad I'm still not back at work, but I still have nightmares that I'll miscarry."

"Anything I can help you with?" Olivia asked stabbing a piece of garlic chicken and bringing it to her mouth.

"I think it will be alright, Paul and I are doing well." She said with a smile, then a sudden realization, "Hey," she leaned forward lowering her voice, "Why you asking about babies?" she grinned and raised a curious brow, "Are you pregnant?"

Olivia smirked, "No." she shook her head wishing she'd never brought up the subject.

"Now I feel bad for bringing up the subject, what's with the sad face?" Casey asked regaining interest in her rice.

"Elliot wants to have another baby." Olivia muttered with her chin in her palm.

"And you don't?" Casey asked taking a sip of her water.

"I do." She arched her brows and shook her head affirmatively with a smile.

"But?"

"But…can I be honest with you, in a way that is probably going to make both of us uncomfortable."

"Olivia Stabler…honest…uncomfortable," Casey grinned, "Damn, this should be good."

"Shut up." Olivia flicked a crumpled straw wrapper at her.

"Olivia whatever you say is between you and I." Casey assured her pointing at Olivia then herself with her fork while she doused her rice with soy sauce.

"After Elliot and I…you know…um… after we…"

Casey smiled at the tough as nails cop who dealt with sex every day yet couldn't bring her self to talk about her personal sex life with a close friend, "After you had insane, primal sex." Casey grinned folding her arms across her chest and leaning back making sure her spine was comfortable against the seat.

"Nice Casey." Olivia blushed, she never like saying she had 'sex' with her husband, it sounded to close to her job…too dirty. "After we make love," she corrected her friend while she rubbed the back of her neck in nervousness, "I lay there and wonder if that will be the moment of conception, and then I remember Isaac…and," her eyes misted and she took a drink of water stalling for time, "I wonder," she picked at the label on the bottle, "I feel like we're replacing Isaac." She whispered finally able to take the entire label off the bottle.

Casey watched her friend bare herself, she knew she must have been raw after such a confession and so she offered a soothing balm, "When you told me in the hospital that I was pregnant, I was so happy." Casey pushed her now empty plate away and leaned in to talk to Olivia, "but then I also sat on my back for days on end, and I had entirely too much time to think…I thought I was replacing Sara."

"Do you still think that?" Olivia asked softly, concerned for Casey as much as Casey was concerned for her.

"No. Paul and I talked…it's amazing what you can say to each other while you're stuck in hospital beds," she smiled and covered Olivia's hand with her own, "Olivia…you'll never replace Isaac, he's a part of you're life, a part of you're family…you won't replace him, but you will miss him, and it's going to hurt."

"Well," Olivia wiped a tear and forced her self to tease, "You _started_ out comforting."

Casey smiled softly, "When you hurt…go to Elliot, come to Paul and I…we're pulling for you guys so much…Paul's totally invested in you're marriage." She chuckled.

"Really?"

"Yep, I think it's an obsession."

"Elliot cares about you two too." Olivia smiled, "I'm not sure what Paul did to El, but tell him I said thanks…and Elliot will come around, his ego is just a little bruised."

"Paul blames himself." Casey whispered looking over Olivia's shoulder, "To be honest…I blame myself."

Olivia knew what she was referring to; she carried the loss of Isaac as deeply and as darkly as Olivia did. Olivia rested her hand on Casey's in a friendly touch, "It absolutely wasn't you're faults, we don't blame you guys…no one does." She whispered and squeezed her hands seeing the exhaustion in Casey's eyes.

"I'm sorry Olivia." She wiped a tear and avoided Olivia's piercing yet gentle gaze.

"I'm not." Olivia whispered the truth, yes she was deeply wounded she'd lost Isaac, but she learned a very valuable lesson that night.

"How can you not be?" Casey frowned.

Olivia sighed, "I heard Elliot talking with Cragen just after…after we found out." She ran her hands through her hair, "Cragen said Paul put up a pretty good fight for Isaac…two of my friends almost died…to save my son." She let a silent tear fall and a gentle smile surface, "Seems to me…that even though it hurts that he's not here…I have a lot to be grateful for."

"Please forgive me." Casey looked away again.

"There's nothing to forgive…but if it helps you…I forgive you." She smiled, " Now, let's get you home, I promised Paul I wouldn't keep you out too long." Olivia helped her up, "He said you have exercises to do."

Casey groaned and smiled, "That man is going to kill me with the exercises."

"Do they hurt?" Olivia asked gathering the food and garbage onto the tray.

"Not so much hurt as just really uncomfortable…sometimes, through, yeah it hurts really bad." She sighed, "Let's go."

"Hey," Olivia changed the subject entirely, "You and Paul are coming to the New Years dinner and Alex's right?"

Casey laughed out loud, "Yeah…she called, actually on Christmas, we didn't know if we'd be able to make it…she almost had a heart attack." Casey smiled clutching Olivia's arm as someone brushed by her, throwing her slightly off balance, "I wonder what's so important?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia watched silently from the doorway as Elliot fought with his tie. At first glance she found it adorably cute that he still couldn't get it. It wasn't a hard task really, and she wondered if he simply just didn't _want_ to get it so that she would rescue him.

However, when she saw the frustration turn to anger, she furrowed her brows and took a few steps before hearing him hiss out a few choice words and tug violently at the tie before starting it again only to give up and literally rip off the shirt, buttons colliding with various surfaces as he balled it up and threw it viciously to the ground cursing and seething as he leaned against the counter in his undershirt.

Olivia embraced him softly from the side allowing her head to rest on his shoulder as they looked at one another in the mirror's reflection, "I can help you with it." She offered softly wondering why he hadn't simply asked in the first place like he normally had.

"I should know how to." He muttered still angry.

"That's not what's wrong is it?" she asked him kissing his shoulder softly.

Elliot exhaled and rested his head against hers "Can I tell you something…without you being upset?"

"Absolutely." She assured him and turned to face him. If she was going to get news less than happy…she wanted it face to face.

"I'm nervous about going to this New Years dinner." He confessed.

"Why?" she smiled, "They're our friends, they love us and want us there." She assured him.

"I've been a jerk to most of them." He whispered, "I talked to Cragen the other day, but that's all."

Olivia smiled, "Swallow you're pride Elliot, come with me…visit with our friends." She encouraged, and kissed the corner of him mouth, "How did it go with Cragen?"

"Good…he's too forgiving." He whispered, "He said you kept in contact."

"I did." She admitted.

"How come you didn't say anything?" He asked out of curiosity.

"I knew you were upset with him…you didn't need anything else on you're plate." She informed him resting her hand on his chest. "I felt you toss and turn last night…what's really wrong Elliot?"

He exhaled in defeat puffing out his cheeks, "Please don't be upset with me."

"I won't be…unless you don't tell me." She smiled touching his cheek, "What is it?"

"I woke up in the middle of the night…really wanting a drink." He confessed as shame flooded his face.

"Okay."

"Okay?" he furrowed his brows, "You're not upset?"

"Did you drink?" She asked softly careful to keep a neutral tone.

"No…but all day, I've wanted to…and this party…Liv, there's always alcohol at New Years parties." He ran his hands over his goatee.

"Can I tell you something without you being upset with me?" She asked needing to make her own confession.

"Yeah."

"I called Alex the other day and…Elliot, I don't want you to think I talk about you to our friends, but I asked her that there not be any alcohol." She exhaled and searched his face looking for anger, and finding her self surprised when she found appreciation.

"Thank you." He leaned his forehead against her in relief.

"You've been worrying about that all day haven't you?" she asked.

"Yeah…I've wanted a drink since I woke up and I didn't want to be tempted." He informed her as she led him back to the closet.

"I'm glad you trusted me with that El. I'm not upset you wanted a drink, I'm happy you resisted." She pulled out a shirt from the closet, "I'll have to sew the buttons back on that other one." She informed him nodding to the crumpled up mass in the corner, "but you always look good in this one." She smiled and handed him the burgundy shirt from the closet allowing him to button it as she searched for a tie that matched.

She took the silver toned tie and draped it around his neck, popping his collar and tying the tie quickly as she looked at him. She was still a little shocked that he was appreciative of her asking Alex to modify the party for his sake…he was changing, and she liked that. She smiled and folded his collar down smoothing out his shirt and giving him a kiss, "How about you look on the list of AA meeting places…see if there is something going on in the next hour or so and I'll call Alex and let her know were gonna be late." She suggested.

"Oh, I don't know Liv, Alex seemed like she was really happy to have us coming." He said, "I've already been a jerk…I don't want to stand her up."

"She'll understand…get the list, I'll call her." Olivia kissed his mouth and whispered in his ear, "You're sobriety is more important than a party." She patted his abdomen and smiled, "It'll be okay."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Get in here!" Alex grinned pulling Elliot and Olivia into her apartment, "Glad you guys made it." She chuckled, "Coats." She motioned for them to remove their coats, "Make you're selves comfortable, eat." She instructed before turning and taking the coats into the bedroom.

"Wow," Olivia smiled at Elliot, "I don't think I've ever seen her with a smile that big."

"Yeah," He agreed resting his hand on the small of her back, "She was entirely too happy." He chuckled kissing the crown of her head and walking with her into the party.

"Hey you made it!" Robert smiled shaking hands with Elliot and giving Olivia a gentle hug. "I'm glad you did, Alex was pacing…literally."

Elliot nudged Olivia and spoke softly to her, "Is this the non-ticket having boyfriend?"

Olivia blushed as Robert laughed, "Ah," he smiled, "It was you two that ran the check." He grinned, "Alex told me…good to know she has friends like you."

"Yeah well," Elliot's face grew serious as he shoved his hands in his pockets, "So long as you know that if you hurt her I'll beat the hell out of you and my wife will shoot you." Seeing Robert literally tense in front of him he laughed, "Just playing man…you're too easy." He joked play boxing him. Olivia never fully understood the concept of play boxing, if you were gonna hit someone…hit him. She smiled; it was good to see Elliot have a good time.

"Should I call you Goldie Locks?" Munch peered over his glasses at Elliot, "What the hell is going on with you're hair man?"

"Maybe I'm giving you a run for you're money." Elliot joked embracing John for the first time since his son's funeral. He spoke softly as they did the typical male, three pats on the back, "I'm sorry I haven't been around."

"It's understandable." Munch said back before separating and looking back over his glasses, "but I better start seeing more of you're ugly mug."

Elliot turned and narrowed his eyes in regret at the deeper voice that spoke behind him, "Never figured you for goatee guy." Fin smacked his lips, "Just know I'm the only one that looks good in one." He offered a half smile and extended his hand to shake Elliot's, "You're an ass you know that right?" He smiled and pulled him into a hug.

"Thanks for beating the crap out of me." Elliot smiled separating form the embrace.

"Anytime." Fin whispered and ventured off to talk with Olivia who was, as Elliot could see, already raiding the food.

Paul stood a little unsure of himself, hands in pockets, he leaned against the frame that separated the living room from the hallway but quickly straightened, almost defensively when he saw Elliot approach him.

"Relax." Elliot smiled

Paul eyed him and when he was certain there wouldn't be any fist flying, he returned his hands to his pockets, "Good to see you and Olivia together again."

"It's good to be with her again." He smiled, "You got a good hook."

"Thanks." He muttered looking around the room for Casey and smiling at her when he made eye contact.

"I'm sor-"

"There's nothing to be sorry about man." Paul smiled, happy Elliot was trying to make amends with him. He extended his hand and shook Elliot's slapping him on the shoulder, "We, all have lapses in judgment…I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were gonna loose."

"Believe me," Elliot folded his arms and exhaled, "I learned."

"Good." Paul smiled, "Now, you have to deal with one pissed of red head."

"What?"

"You haven't seen her in two months," Paul lowered his voice, "She won't admit it, but, it hurt her feelings…go talk to her." He smiled and gave one last pat on Elliot's shoulder before walking away.

"Do you know how many times I've had to call myself an ass in the last ten minutes?" Elliot said sitting slowly next to Casey.

"Probably not enough." She smiled.

"I'm sorry I fell off the face of the earth." He smiled sheepishly, "Can you forgive me?"

"Well," Casey ran her hand through her hair, "Here's the situation-"

"Uh oh."

"See that woman over there?" she said pointing to Olivia who was talking with Cragen and Melinda Warner, he hadn't seen her when he first came in, in fact he didn't know Alex had ever known her.

"Yeah?"

"Well, she's my friend…and she's head over heels in love with you Elliot…and if Olivia trusts you…then you're a good person…just don't do anymore of this self isolation crap, understand?"

"Got it."

"Now, get over there and get me a slice of that pie, please?" She smiled.

"Elliot." Olivia smiled as he brushed against her, "Melinda is here."

"I see that." Elliot smiled and hugged the doctor, "Good to see you." He let go of her, "I have to get that red head a piece of pie or I may not live to see tomorrow." He chuckled and grabbed a plate as they talked. "What brings you our way Melinda?" he asked cutting into the cherry pie.

"Well, my husband's plane is stranded in Chicago, he's gonna stay the weekend…you're Captain had pity on me and took me out."

"Well," Elliot smirked licking cherry from his thumb after he slid a slice of pie on the plate, "You let me or Liv know if he tries anything froggy with you." He smiled and teased Cragen, "Why Don, you're blushing." They laughed even as Cragen raised his brow and simply shook his head.

"Alright ladies and gents!" Robert's voice came in loud and clear over the small crowd as Elliot handed the pie to Casey who was looking a little pale, a little uncomfortable. "Alex and I have an announcement." He smiled embracing Alex who freely accepted his arms around her waist. "Do you want to?" He asked her softly, "Or should I?"

Alex smiled at her friends who stared at them waiting patiently for the announcement.

"Are you gonna tell us before or after they find out who shot JFK?" Munch smiled looking over his glasses at her, "Waiting." He informed her.

Alex took a deep breath and grinned, "Robert and I…are getting married."

Olivia hoped the insulation in the apartment was good, because, although there was no booze at this party, the riot of laughter, clapping and congratulations, sounded like a crowded and very drunken bar. She smiled, watching them kiss one another as she extended her hand to Elliot palm up, "Pay up buddy."

"Excuse me?"

"We bet twenty bucks…you lost…pay up." She smiled as Elliot dug into his pocket for his wallet.

"Hey," Fin shook his head, "Why wasn't I told about a betting pool on this?"

"Sorry Fin." Olivia smiled knowing she could have made some serious cash if she'd included others, she wondered to herself if people had a bet to see how long it took Alex and Olivia to actually find husbands…she knew there was a bet out there like that somewhere.

Elliot opened his wallet, "Three bucks…sorry Liv." He frowned then listened carefully as Olivia pulled his head down to whisper in his ear.

"I accept other forms of payment, Visa…Master Card…orgasm."

He blushed uncontrollably and left her presence immediately to go talk to someone else, heck, the gold fish would do just fine, he needed to talk to anyone, except Olivia, to get his body under control.

She smiled knowing what she did was borderline evil, but all's fair, right?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Okay," Alex read the small card with the riddle on it, "What has arms, legs and no head?" the crowd looked at each other trying to figure out the odd clue.

"Wow," Cragen scoffed, "A room full of detectives and no answer." She chuckled taking a drink of his soda. They enjoyed the fun of being together as a team of friends, with new additions in the forms of Paul and Robert. A group who sat around the living room playing ridiculous board games and laughing hysterically at one another for no specific reason, other than they could.

"Got it!" Paul snapped his fingers and called out the answer, "A chair."

The group looked at him after he gave his sixth correct answer to the last seven riddles, "He's good." Fin said, "Someone should hire him."

_A room full of detectives. _Melinda thought to herself, and then devised a little plan to help her shed some light on the mysterious note and file she'd received on Christmas. She couldn't say why, but she wasn't yet willing to tell the group about the odd delivery. "I got one." She said pulling a card up to her face pretending to read but offering her own riddle, "When one in blue mourns, the whole sea cries. When a leader forsakes his crew, the sea must rise up. Rise."

"That's cake." Olivia shook her head with a smile that surprised Melinda.

"Then what is it?" Melinda smiled hoping Olivia could shed light.

"When one in blue mourns," Olivia repeated the line, "It's a cop in mourning." She smiled, "That's an old line, you know…men and women in blue."

Melinda felt her stomach churn, "What about the rest, to get the point, you have to answer the whole thing."

"Easy points." Olivia smiled taking a drink of Elliot's tea, "The whole sea cries," She offered the line before her explanation, "Have you ever been to a cops funeral…it's a sea of blue with all of the uniforms, it means the whole force is in mourning."

"And the last part?" Melinda asked knowing that she would have to immediately pull that case file out and figure out just what the hell was going on.

"Well, I've actually never heard the last part…what do you think El?" she asked resting her hand on his thigh.

"Sounds like a leader pissed his crew off and they're about to commit mutiny." He laughed at the concept.

Melinda blinked rapidly and realized they were waiting to find out if they'd gotten the points or not…after all this was couple against couple except for Munch and Fin who, just fought like a couple, there was no room for error they needed the points. Melinda tried to find her voice but was growing sick, "That's right." She sighed and stood to her feet dropping the card to the ground and reaching for it just as Fin brought it to her. "Thank you." She exhaled, "I'm so sorry you guys, I'm not feeling well…I'm gonna take a cab."

"I can take you home." Cragen offered.

"No that's alright, I'll get a cab." She smiled and retreated to find her jacket and leave.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Dr. Warner!" Fin shouted as he exited the apartment building seeing her open the door to a taxi. She stopped momentarily.

"Yes?"

Fin stopped in front of her with a face of stone as he stared at her, "What side of a chicken has the most feathers?" he asked baiting her.

"Excuse me?" She furrowed her brows and told the cabbie to start the meter but wait for her for just a second.

"The inside." He stated matter of factly.

"I don't follow you." She shook her head.

Fin removed the game card from his pocket and held it between his index and middle fingers, "That's the real riddle on you're card…but that's not the riddle you read us."

She thought she would vomit right there. "I thought the chicken one was too easy." She lied.

"Then why was the card upside down when you were reading it Doctor?" He took a step forward, "What are you hiding…what's going on?"

Melinda stepped into the cab and took one last look at him before closing the door, "Nothing."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Melinda Warner tossed her keys on her desk at the medical examiner's office and immediately went to her file cabinet searching frantically for the envelope she had received on Christmas. She opened it sitting at her desk and reading the file through word by word. It was a standard accident report, body unable to be identified, no dental records or prints.

She looked on the lining tab of the file and noticed that all necessary information was unavailable except for an eight-digit number. She turned to her keyboard and entered the number hoping it was from a body tag or autopsy report…no luck. She switched programs and made an open ended search with the number.

She rolled her eyes and groaned out loud seeing the result yielded over a thousand hits with everything from purse thefts, to car jacking, to random shootings. This was going to be a long a fruitless search. She rested her head on the desk but then suddenly jumped.

"I thought you said you weren't hiding anything?" Fin said almost coldly as she stood in the doorway.

"I'm not… and why aren't you still at the party."

"Why aren't you really sick?" he asked sitting unwelcome in her office.

"I feel better…thought I'd get some work done." She offered casually while she closed the case file.

"What are you working on?"

"A case."

"Think you could be a little more vague?" he leaned forward, "What is with that riddle and you rushing out of Alex's to come here…I'm not leaving until you tell me."

"Fine." She shook her head, she still wasn't sure what she was looking for or what precinct this case belonged to or who sent it…maybe he could help. "I was working on Christmas, and I got this note." She said passing him the note that had the riddle on it he read it and pressed her to go further. "I got this file with it, the problem is…there is no identifying information, I don't know who it is…next of ken, or why they sent it to me." She shook her head and handed it to him.

He opened the file and stared at the picture recognizing it immediately, he snapped his eyes shut, "Oh no…who sent this?"

"What do you mean 'Oh no'" She asked anxiously.

"You don't know what this is?" he asked standing and laying the file in front of her sliding the pictures around.

"If I did I wouldn't be stressing out right now." She responded looking at the photos, "I realize these are crime scene photos."

"Magnifier?"

"Over there." She pointed behind him and he retrieved it quickly, "Look at this." He exhaled pointing to what appeared to be a duffel bag in the photo.

Waving the magnifier over it she made a mental note that it wasn't a duffel bag. "Okay, what am I looking for?"

"What's the embroidery say?" he whispered.

She strained her eyes even with the help of the magnifier then felt her breath hitch, "Oh no."

"Some one is screwing with them." He whispered, "They don't need to know about this." He informed her before picking up his jacket and walking away before stopping at the door and turning to her, "Melinda," he said sadly, "I was there…I saw what was left…" he didn't finish his sentence as he walked slowly out of the door.

She slouched back in her chair and starred at the note on her desk, _There's no way someone would go through all of that just to screw with people_, she thought to herself picking up the phone and dialing quickly.

"Donavan, it's Warner. Guess what…I need you at the office…now…I'm aware it's a holiday but tell that to the perps that keep us in business…I understand that they're dead but it can't wait…get down here we got a ton of research to do…thirty minutes…bye."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The crowd chanted along with the T.V. as loud as they could, "Ten…nine…eight" Elliot turned to Olivia with a grin as Alex and Robert stowed away into some corner giving Paul and Casey the couch so Casey didn't have to stand.

"Seven…"

Elliot rested one hand on her hip and brushed her hair from her eyes with the other looking at the soft smile.

"Six…"

The trusting eyes.

"Five…"

Robert laughed feeling Alex graze the flesh of his abdomen under his t-shirt.

"Four…"

Casey rested her head against Paul's shoulder laced her fingers with his.

"Three…"

Olivia felt her tongue dart out to moisten her lips, an involuntary movement when it came to Elliot's proximity.

"Two…" Paul rubbed his hand over Casey's pregnant belly whispering something in her ear.

"One…" Robert caressed Alex's face in his hand as all six voices smiled telling their lover across from them, "Happy New Year."

Lips caress lips.

Hands sought out a place of rest.

Smiles separated them all…except Olivia and Elliot who seemed to be making up for lost time. He sipped gently from her bottom lip hearing a fain moan from her lips. The Stablers had made it through the year, the question was…could they make it through the coming years?


	10. Chapter 10 Malnutrition

Divided We Fall

Chapter 10 Malnutrition

A/N: Hee hee...

"You realize it's one O'clock in the morning right." A blond haired and green-eyed young man in his twenties flopped in a chair in Warner's office exhaling from exhaustion.

"I'm aware of the time." She said dryly opening the case file that had suddenly became entirely too interesting to her. "We've got a problem." She informed him.

"Yeah," He yawned, "It's called lack of sleep."

"Donavan," she pointed at him with her pen, "You've begged me for three years to let you in on a good case…this will make you or break you, do you want it or not?"

Donavan arched his brows, "What stiff is so intriguing that it'll make my career."

Warner's eye grew downcast, "When I tell you this…it's between you and I or I'll have you're job understand?" She asked firmly.

He starred at her, never before had he gotten such a sternly serious lecture from the woman who, even in the circumstance of death, always had a smile, " I understand," he found himself interested, "Just between you and I, what do ya got?"

"How about this?" she asked handing the case file to him, "What do you see?"

"Charred remains," He furrowed his brows and flipped through the pictures, "looks like some type of bag…maybe diaper bag." He flipped to the next, "What is this?" He starred at the photo, "Two adults and an infant?"

"Possibly, the infant is a give me but the adults are a little harder to pin point age, could be teenagers." She suggested.

"So what gives…why am I here this late looking on this when I could be vomiting liquor out of my body at a bar?"

She stared at him, "Please," she smacked her lips, "You were studying weren't you?"

He smiled and felt himself blush, "Yeah."

"Figured." She chuckled then grew serious, "About five months ago…two parents who happened to be NYPD officers had their home broken into and their seven month old son kidnapped…there was a car accident and their son was subsequently killed."

"I remember that." He shook his head; "The media put them through hell."

"Yeah." She remembered reading the headlines and felt herself take a deep breath. "I got that file," She motioned to the file he held, "On Christmas, with this note." She said handing it to him, "What do you think about it?" she asked seeing if someone who wasn't a detective would come to he same conclusion.

"Sounds like someone's going to have a mutiny on their hands." He smiled, "I'm not sure I get what it is you need from me."

"Why would someone want to torture these two detectives?" she asked purposefully, not telling him she was a personal friend to Elliot and Olivia.

"Maybe the newspapers were true…didn't the mother shoot two or three people on the job? Maybe she was stressed and flipped…or maybe the husband flipped, I remember reading one of the papers that said he had a pretty nasty temper."

Warner exhaled trying to be patient, the young man was simply brainstorming, questioning if and how the crime occurred, that was his job and he didn't know Elliot or Olivia, had he, he would know they were good people. "That wouldn't explain why someone would send me this file."

"Well, what do you know about the accident?"

"Nothing really, we weren't' allowed to handle any aspect of the case…I don't understand why someone would want to deliberately hurt them by bringing the case back into the light just when it seemed to die down."

"Maybe." She furrowed her brows, "I want you to research this…tell me everything you can…starting with _who_ sent me that file."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

January quickly melted away producing February and Olivia found herself wide-awake, unable to sleep and unable to determine why. There had been no nightmares, no uncomfortable sleeping position. In fact she found her self, smiling at how perfectly she and Elliot's body formed against each other. Reluctantly she slid carefully out of his embrace and got out of the bed. She pulled the covers back up over Elliot's body and kissed him softly on the cheek before disappearing into the kitchen to make some chocolate and read a couple chapters from her book.

Deciding that the book was becoming increasingly boring by the nano-second she closed it and rested her head against the couch. She found it funny that even with all the time off that Elliot and she had…neither one of them ever slept through the entire night. Too many years of waking up in the middle of the night programmed their bodies to automatically do it and it was the most irritating thing she knew of.

Olivia gathered her cup of chocolate and walked down the hall averting her eyes from the nursery as she ran her fingers across the door; it was the same motion she'd done every time she walked by that door for the last eight months. However, this time she stopped and stared at the door, at the dark path that her fingers had created over time. She did the math in her head and smiled sadly knowing Isaac would have been fifteen months old…walking…playing…asking for juice.

Olivia rested her hand on the doorknob and closed her eyes before entering the nursery by her self for the first time since learning of Isaac's death. She opened the door and could pick up the trace scent of her son, even now. The baby powder and lotions she used after his baths. She ran her fingers over the railing of his crib, taking note that there was no dust…anywhere. She furrowed her brows and then realized that Elliot made it a point to come into the nursery everyday and must be keeping it clean as well, although, things were still in the same spot as they were when they last saw Isaac.

She stopped when she saw a teddy bear that wasn't familiar to her. Retrieving it from the crib a tear escaped as she read the tiny card attached to the bear like a tag in a clothing store, "Merry Christmas Isaac, Love, Mom and Dad." Elliot had remembered their son's Christmas present while she tried desperately to erase the fact that she wouldn't be sharing Christmas with her complete family. She sat in the rocking chair slowly and realized she would _never_ be with her complete family, but wasn't that just another chapter to her life?

She took a small blanket off the back of the rocking chair and clutched it in her hand as she thought about memories she would never have of her son. There would be no first day of school, no first grounding. She would never see him dressed up for prom or walk the stage for high school graduation. She would never know what he became after college. He would never know the joy of being married…of having his own children.

The sobs tumbled out of her small frame like thunder stomps through the sky and in an instant Olivia Stabler was broken and ashamed, crying desperately to have her son back, if only to say goodbye.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot's eyes fluttered open at a noise he couldn't make out until he turned and realized Olivia wasn't in bed. He looked at the clock noticing the early hour…or late hour, depending on how you looked at it. It wasn't until he heard another Labored sob of his wife that he jumped quickly out of the bed seeing a pale light with figures dancing against the hall wall coming from the nursery. The door was open and he never left it open knowing Olivia couldn't handle even looking inside.

He saw his wife weeping bitterly in the rocking chair she once held their son, whose blanket was the only thing she held tonight. She had turned the light that Casey bought for her on and he remembered how much Isaac had enjoyed tracing the figures with his eyes as they swarmed around the room.

"Olivia." He spoke as softly as possible.

Without hesitation she rose out of the rocking chair, still weeping, and rested her hands on his chest allowing her body to be totally consumed in his embrace, "He's not here." She sobbed loudly, painfully, as she buried her face into his chest further.

Elliot stroked her hair and kept his arm around her small frame, taking notice, that she was the one loosing weight now and it wasn't like she had a lot to loose. He thought back over the last few weeks and took note that she wasn't sleeping well, her eyes had dark circles around them, she rarely ate, and if she did she spent the night puking in the toilet. He sighed and kissed the top of her head, "I know, Liv."

She sniffled and finally managed to wrap her arms around his waist, "Seven months is too little…it wasn't enough." She let out another sob, effectively breaking Elliot's heart.

"No. It wasn't." he agreed with her, he'd had more than one conversation with Providence about the time factor…just a little more time was all they wanted…to hear his first word…to see him take his first step.

"The house is so empty without him." She whispered through her tears then let out more sobs. He closed his eyes and held her tighter as she broke in his arms.

"Cry Olivia. Tonight, I got you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two weeks later Elliot found himself waking up before his wife. He smiled seeing her sleep but he could also see the stress on her face, the puffiness under her eyes. Her rib cage was starting to show through her skin with the increased weight loss. He wondered if he had done this to her. Wondered if his drunken binges that forced her to look past the pain of loosing Isaac so she was strong for him, brought the once strong, Olivia to the fragile creature next to him.

The months since she came back home to him had been good them in spite of the sadness that overshadowed Olivia, the nothingness that consumed her. They'd made it a point to make love to one another at least once a day, but even when he felt her body contract around his, even as he heard her call his name into the atmosphere, felt her lips caress his, and her hands search his body; he could also feel there was something within her, a desire that he couldn't fill…a desire to have her son back.

Olivia was falling and he didn't know how to catch her.

Elliot ducked his head settling his lips against her sleeping mouth. Cupping her cheek softly he nipped at her bottom lip tugging gently to slide his tongue over her teeth. He felt a small smile creep over her lips as she stirred into wakefulness. She parted her teeth giving him free access to her mouth as she slid her hand up his chest and behind his neck deepening the wake up call and moaning gently in protest as he pulled away in separation.

"Hi." He whispered, smiling at her closed eyes and full lips. He ducked in and kissed her lips gently sipping softly from her lower lip.

"Hi." She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, "Mmm, beautiful thing." She smiled resting her head on his chest and absently drawing shapes into is abdomen.

"What is?"

"Waking up to you." She said, "It's better every time I do it." She smiled kissing his naked flesh and slowly drawing her tongue along the contours of his flesh, caressing him with her lips and tongue as she kissed his body, shifting hers to cover him. She made her way north stopping to place soft kisses on his nipples and smiling as his breath hitched under her touch.

"Like that?" she smiled.

" I like that." He whispered and grinned feeling her mouth make it's way over his collarbone and along the center of his neck, "I really like that."

"Yeah?" She whispered into his neck, "Well," she nipped at his jaw line and rubbed herself over his hips feeling him react to her, "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Elliot grinned and rested his hands on the small of her back, "Are you forgetting something?"

Olivia furrowed her brows and raised her head from his ear to look at him, "What?"

"Are you forgetting something?" He repeated stroking her along her spine.

She thought for a second, it was a weekend, she didn't have to be at the gym, anniversary was a no, and his birthday wasn't do for awhile, "No, I don't think so."

He chuckled and kissed her lips, "We have a wedding we need to be at in less than two hours."

She exhaled and groaned letting her forehead fall against his chest, "I forgot."

"I can tell." He smiled.

She kissed his shoulder but could feel him decrease against her, she protested with a low groan and looked up to smile playfully at him as she rubbed her body against him again, "I don't suppose you'd be up for a quickie?"

"Olivia." He kissed her mouth gently, "What's wrong?" he asked sincerely knowing that she had literally become insatiable. Yes, he could bring her to orgasm but there were times when it seemed almost meaningless to her as if she were filling the hole left by Isaac's death with the high of an orgasm. He didn't mind making love to his wife, so long as it was healthy, but he was watching her literally melt in front of him, dropping from a sexy hundred and thirty pounds to what he guessed was a worrisome one fifteen. He wanted her to face the pain not use a substitute. He'd done it with alcohol and found it almost destroyed his marriage.

"Why would something be wrong?" she smiled kissing his chin.

"Olivia," he brushed her bangs away form her face, revealing sad eyes that she hid away from him, "I've made love to you every day since you've come home…sometimes more than once a day." He chuckled softly then lowered his voice, "Why do you need it?"

She shook her head and sat up on his hips, "Do you not like having sex with me?" she furrowed her brows.

_Having sex. That's the first time you said that. _He thought to himself noticing the rawness in her voice. He furrowed his brows and stoked her thigh lightly; "You know that nothing makes me happier than being inside of you."

"Then what's the problem?" she smiled and kissed him along his neck, "Have sex with me."

"Olivia-"

"Elliot." She sat up, "Did I do something wrong?"

"No."

"Then what is going on?" she asked slightly irritated he was shutting her down.

"That's what I'm asking you Olivia…what's going on." He whispered.

Seeing her eyes well up he pulled her back down over his body and embraced her tightly, "I love you." He spoke softly tracing her spine with his fingers feeling the unhealthy bony structure against her skin. He was almost shocked when she spoke with out him prodding further.

"I don't know what's wrong with me." She whispered into his shoulder.

"You're not eating." He kissed the top of her head.

"I'm never hungry."

"You work out too much." He reminded her.

"I need that time…I need to see those kids to get through the week." She whispered.

"We haven't visited Isaac's gr-"

"Shh." She covered his lips, "Don't say that, I hate that word." She shut her eyes trying to shake the word from her mental vocabulary. No mother wants to admit that her son has a grave.

"We haven't visited Isaac together." He said offering his edited thought.

"I can't."

"Don't shut him out, Liv." He whispered and felt her choke back a sob.

"It hurts too much to remember."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Alex made a beautiful bride." Paul smiled untying his tie.

"She did." Casey agreed walking effortlessly to him and kissing him through a smile, "Should I be worried?" she teased.

"Hey," he laughed interlacing his hands with hers, "I said she made _a_ beautiful bride…but I have a _the_ most gorgeous bride right in front of me." He grinned.

"Suck up." She smirked.

"Oh yeah." He embraced his hands around her swollen body. "How's this spine of yours feeling?" she asked drumming his fingertips along her back.

"Well, it's pretty damn good if I do say so myself." She smiled feeling his lips on her cheek, "I was walking pretty good at the wedding don't you think?"

"Walking…I could have sworn you were waddling." He snickered massaging her belly.

She shook her head and smiled at his remark, "Just so long as you remember that you did this to me."

Paul looked at her seriously, proud that he had been given another chance to have a baby with her, proud that he and gotten his wife pregnant. He kissed her again, "I'd never forget."

"Well, if we don't think in the next five weeks…we're gonna forget to give our son a name." She chuckled, "Can you lower me onto the couch please…if it's not the spine…it's the belly, I'll be so glad when he comes." She laughed, and wrapped her arms around him as he lowered her to the couch. "Do you love me?" She smiled mischievously.

"You know I do." He laughed furrowing his brows at her question.

"Love me enough to rub my swollen ankles?" she laughed.

"Ah…I knew there was a catch." He sat slowly and draped her feet over his lap, "So what do you got for names?"

"George." She spat out trying to hold in her laughter.

"Absolutely not." He chuckled rubbing her feet gently.

"What do you have?" she arched her brows and started to laugh when he pulled a small notebook out of his shirt pocket and opened it with a smile, "I got all sorts."

"I don't believe it…you and that notebook, you should have been a cop."

"Too nerdy…the perps would hurt me." He shrugged.

Casey nudged his abdomen with her toes and spoke softly, "That's not what Elliot told Olivia."

He bowed his head absently rubbing her feet, "I'm sorry Case."

"For saving our friends' marriage?" She asked, "Don't be."

"I don't like to fight, he swung at me."

"Hey." She nudged him with her feet again, "I'm not upset…it's kinda sexy."

"Really?" he grinned, "In that case, I hit him twice you know?" They laughed together freely then got down to business.

"Number one." He smiled reading his list, "Jonathan."

"Nathan." She smiled knowing her list was memorized, that's what lawyers do, memorize fact and figure.

"Sebastian." He countered pulling a pen out of his pocket to which she rolled her eyes.

"You took a pen to Alex's wedding?"

"I took it in case I met a guy with an interesting name." He assured her.

"Oh, were you planning on dating said guy?" she arched her brow and grinned; happy that she and Paul were able to play with one another like a dating couple. She knew it was cliché but she fell in love with him each morning she woke up next to him.

"And give you up?" He shook his head, "Please…no contest Toots."

"Not naming him Toots." She laughed.

"I was calli-"

"I know. Paul?"

"What?"

"No…I mean, what about naming him Paul."

"No!" he barked, surprising both of them at the sudden out burst.

Casey sat up slowly, "Come here." She whispered nuzzling against him and resting her hand on his abdomen, "What just happened? Where did you go?"

He swallowed hard and rested his hand on her thigh, "I don't want him to take after me, I don't want him to have my name." He whispered gruffly.

"What?" She cupped his cheek with her hand and brought his face to hers, "Why?"

"I don't want him to be weak Casey, I don't want him to be some nerdy guy that people tease and make fun of…I want him to be strong, an athlete, smart…good looking even." He removed his glasses folding them softly and placing them on the coffee table.

"Paul," she whispered his name sweetly and kissed the corner of his mouth suddenly realizing the duality of his statement, "Don't you know how handsome you are?" she smiled searching his eyes, "How sexy you are?"

He rested his head on the back of the couch and exhaled hoarsely, "Kids are cruel Casey."

"You were teased." She whispered. She'd known the man for years and he never said a word. She winced at all the times she'd called him a nerd or geek, but in her defense he was a hot nerd.

He bowed his head again, uncomfortable with what was coming, "When I was a freshman in high school…" his voice grew quiet not wanting to finish.

"It's okay to tell me." She assured him resting her head on his shoulder.

"I was captain of the math team…that's the sign of a true nerd." He tried to smile but couldn't, "long story short, I spent a week in the hospital after being jumped by a group of jocks." He swallowed and started to shake his leg up and down, a nervous habit she hadn't seen him do since they'd gotten back together.

"You're an incredibly intelligent person Paul."

"Sometimes smarts are worse than bad looks." he countered.

"You still feel inadequate?"

"I hate myself for what I did to you, for-"

She covered his mouth with her palm and shook her head, "No…we don't talk about that unless we're at the counselor's office." She reminded him, "I don't hate you for that," she whispered and lowered her hand to his thigh claming his leg back to stillness, "I fell in love with you Paul, because you were a great guy that made me feel like I was an amazing person." She traced the contours of his body's muscles as she spoke, "I think you have an amazing body now, but that's not why I love you."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you love me Case? Can you tell me? I need to hear it."

"I love you," she said with a smile as she covered his hand, "because you are smart, you have this incredible passion for a discipline that I can't even grasp. I love you because you've stuck by our friends even when Elliot was harsh to you…you showed your self compassionate, I'd rather have a compassionate husband that are heartless jock." She whispered, "But I love you, because…you loved me first…and you kept loving me, even when I was unlovable." She smiled and kissed his cheek, "I don't care what anyone says…you are the hottest piece of meat I've ever seen." She chuckled and whispered in his ear, "I love you."

Paul smiled sheepishly and opened his notebook again, "Okay, crossing off Jonathan, adding Nathan and putting a question mark on Paul."

Casey smiled knowingly, "What else you got, Gorgeous?"

"Addison."

"Oh, I like that." She raised her brows, "Put a star by it." She suggested.

"Asterisk."

"Huh?"

"It's not a star…it's an asterisk, it indicates one's propensi-"

"Sweetheart?" she cut him off.

"Yeah?"

"Just make sure we know we like that one." She laughed, he was such a nerd, but he was her very sexy nerd and he didn't even realize it. "Can I run something by you."

"As long as it stops in front of me." He laughed hard then stopped when he noticed she wasn't, "Yeah, that was a bad joke." He blushed.

"Is that what that was?" she smiled feeling his hands on her feet again, "Bradley."

"That's my number nine, I think." He smiled flipping through is note pad and marking it with an asterisk…not a star. "Was that what you were running by me?" he asked flipping back to the first page.

"No." She said through a yawn, "I was thinking if we could ask Olivia and Elliot if we could have his middle name as Isaac."

"Oh…tricky."

"That's what I thought…think that might be too hard?"

"Maybe."

"I just want them to know that we loved him too, like he was ours you know?"

"I know." He whispered letting the tear fall before he could turn away. Casey looked at her husband trying to be a macho tough guy and hide his tears…he never could play that part since they'd come back to each other.

"That's what this whole thing about you're name is really about isn't it?" she asked softly taking his hand into his, "You think you're weak because we couldn't stop Isaac's kidnapping."

He shook his head affirming her speculation, "I'm so sorry Casey." He tried to wipe his tear, "I tried to keep him safe, I really did." His tone was increasing, speech gaining speed. "The knife, and the-"

"Paul," she took hold of his hand and placed it on her belly, "I hope our son grows up to be _exactly_ like you…someone who would have laid down his life for his friends' son, it's rare to find someone like that. Someone who stood by his wife knowing she may never walk again, or freely make love to him again…you're an honorable man Paul…don't doubt that because you couldn't control a circumstance…life isn't a science lab honey, we can't control the variables here." She kissed his cheek, "Don't ever let me catch you doubting yourself again." She smiled against his cheek.

"Jedidiah?" He asked with a smile and glassy eyes.

"To Star Wars sounding." She frowned.

He crossed it off his list and flipped the page as she offered another name.

"How about Nicholas?" she smiled.

"Oh, now I like that one." He grinned and wrote it in his notepad…with a star next to it…not an asterisk. "What about Thomas?" he asked, but when he received no response he looked over to see that she'd fallen asleep, pregnant and beautiful as ever.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Her voice was faint as she called for him, but it was loud enough to wake him up out of his sleep. "Olivia?" he called out rubbing his eyes, ridding them from sleep and flipping the comforter back. He'd hoped that March would be nicer to her, but in fact it was entirely more ruthless. She rarely ate, and when she did she simply vomited it back up. Too weak and entirely too exhausted to keep up her gym routine Elliot had called Ricky and asked that she have some time away to which the man happily obliged and offered his help in anyway possible. Elliot wondered just how many people this woman that he married had touched during her life that they would willingly help her at the drop of a hat.

Her voice was labored, low and pained "Elliot…please, I need you."

He moved quickly to find her kneeling over the toilet in her own vomit, her pasty white skin a bleak resemblance of the goddess he'd proposed to, yet that's what she still was to him. He pulled a hand towel from the towel rack wondering how many times between morning sickness and this that he'd made the motion. He tossed it in the sink turning on the warm water to let it soak the rag while he kneeled beside her.

Elliot cupped her cheek in his hand and looked at the nothingness that he saw in her eyes, "What's going on in here, Baby?" he whispered resting his hand on her heart feeling his own tears fall as he helped her sit on the closed toilet lid. "Can you tell me?" he asked pulling her vomit-stained nightshirt overhead and looking at the skeleton she'd become. Her once strong, sexy shoulders were bony, fragile and slumped.

"What's happening to me, Elliot?" she tried to cry but her body had nothing to produce, nothing to surrender.

"I don't know, Liv." He answered honestly reaching behind him and retrieving the towel, ringing it out and washing her gently, knowing that lately, because of the weight loss her body ached and she was sore. Her stubbornness prevented him from taking her to the doctor immediately and while she seemed to be doing better for a week or so she quickly plummeted into more dire circumstances.

Elliot remembered the words she spoke over him when he was disheveled in this very room, "Olivia," he smiled softly, "you're gonna beat this, I love you." He said softly tangling his hand in her hair and stopping instantly.

"What is it?" she labored out the question.

Elliot brought his hand down, opening it slowly and staring at the tendril of hair that had fallen out. She looked up at him and cried tears that pained her body to produce, she grabbed for his chest and sobbed in his arms, "Please help me."

He moved quickly into the other room and grabbed a shirt from the dresser drawer and her track pants that were lying on the foot of the bed. He returned to her and slid the shirt over her body as gently as possible hearing her moan from the pain of touch against her bones. "My teeth." She whispered trying to straighten the shirt out.

"What?" He furrowed his brow, "What's wrong with them Liv?"

She force a small laugh, but her chapped lips, limp hair and half opened eyes told a different story, "I need to brush, please."

"Liv, we need to go to the hospital."

"Teeth." She shook her head softly, "Please."

He exhaled and prepared her toothbrush only to realize she didn't have the strength to use it, "Open." He whispered softly sliding the toothbrush into her mouth and gently brushing her teeth. When he was finished, he wiped her mouth softly seeing the blood coming from her chapped lips.

"Rinse." She murmured.

"You're a pain in the ass Benson." He groaned reaching for the Listerine and pouring a small amount in a cup.

"You love me." She whispered knowingly. She still loved it when he called her by her maiden name.

He kneeled in front of her and brought the cup to her lips, "Unconditionally." He smiled seeing her take the green liquid into her mouth.

"Spit" he encouraged her holding the cup in front of her.

Weakly she let the liquid fall from her mouth. He wiped her lips softly and helped her with her pants. "I'll get you're shoes." He informed her and returned just as quickly as he left, slipping on socks and tennis shoes, careful to leave them loose on her feet that hurt her constantly.

"Up you go." He smiled helping her to her wobbly feet and almost loosing her to gravity before she leaned into him.

"How did you even get out of bed?" He whispered.

She chuckled barely audibly but he felt it against his chest, "Carefully." She smiled then coughed against him.

"Let's go." He whispered picking her up into his arms mentally guessing her weight to be just over a hundred pounds…if he were generous. He walked quickly out of the room taking the afghan from the foot of the bed and draping it over her as he walked out of the room. He felt for his shoes with his feet as he held her. Cramming his naked feet in, he found him self crushing the backs of both pairs. She slid his hand equally as blind over the counter until he came in contact with car keys.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I'm glad I married you." Robert whispered into Alex's ear as he held her.

"Really? Baggage and all?" she smiled.

"Absolutely, it's been a good first month of marriage don't you think?" he smiled and nuzzled her softly along her jaw, kissing her tenderly.

"Yeah, except this guy in my bed, wakes me up in the middle of the night…just to make love to me."

"Really? Sounds like he really loves you…really wants you." He smiled lacing his hands into hers and pulling them over her head as he hovered his body over hers.

"Well, I don't know," She teased him, "Maybe if you can tell him to do that thing with his mouth again, I can better assess the situa-" she gasped feeling him slide against her, "or…you could do that, and we're good." They both laughed then quieted feeling his tongue walk along her milky flesh.

"Spectacular." He whispered over her flesh causing the goose bumps to rise at the difference in temperature. He made his way back up her body kissing softly as he moved over her until he got to her lips. He ran his tongue over her lips and pulled her hips into him as he rolled onto his back effectively making her the woman on top. She smiled hungrily for him as she rose up on her knees and lowered herself onto him moaning in contentment as she felt him fill her up to overflowing. They wrapped they're hands together for leverage as he began to thrust upwards causing her to rise.

Then the phone rang.

She puffed out her cheeks and buried her head in his chest, "Who is calling in the middle of the night?"

"Angry bill collector?" He smiled thrusting inside of her softly, making her giggle as she strained to read the caller I.D.

"Elliot's cell phone." She muttered and reached for the phone.

"You're answering it?" He asked almost shocked.

She smiled and moved over him again, "Don't make a sound." She laughed and shifted pulling him on top of her. "Not a sound." She smiled and answered the phone.

"Better be good Elliot." She bit back a moan as Robert moved quietly within her. He smiled over her as he moved knowing that making love to his wife while she talked to someone on the phone was the most erotic, and naughty thing they'd done…so far.

Just as he was about to increase his speed she gasped and thrust out her hand to his chest, not from pleasure, but from whatever Elliot was telling her on the other side of the phone. He stopped moving immediately and waited as she hung up the phone resting it just above her head, "We have to go." She told him softly.

"What's wrong?" He asked withdrawing unsatisfied from her.

"Olivia is in the hospital."

"What!" He bellowed, "What's wrong?" he asked jumping out of bed and tossing her the clothes from the floor.

"He said she's really bad…I knew she looked like hell when we came back from the honeymoon. I told her to go to the doctor, Damnit." She barked at no one in particular. "That woman has to be the most stubborn person I've ever seen."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot watched quietly and counted the I.V droplets sustain his wife. Severe Malnutrition, _smooth move Stabler_. He thought to him self softly as he looked at her tired and fragile body. He scoffed to himself realizing that the love she had inside of her for her son, a love she couldn't express in his absence, was systematically killing her.

"Mr. Stabler?" the doctor stood at the foot of Olivia's bed startling him from his thoughts.

"Yes?" He whispered, "Can you tell me how she is?"

"She's gonna pull through, there's no doubt, but-"

"But what?" he furrowed his brows, and stood to his feet.

"It's gonna be hard for her Mr. Stabler…are you familiar with starvation?"

"She didn't starve herself…she couldn't hold her food down, she's been under a lot of stress." He protested in her defense.

"Sir," The doctor rested her hand on his shoulder, "We know that…we could tell when we scoped her trachea, and by the fact that she's still very much alive…almost three months huh?"

"Yeah." She shook his head softly, "I wanted to bring her in but," he smiled softly, "The woman can be stubborn."

The doctor smiled, "What kind of stress are we talking about here Mr. Stabler?" The doctor asked poised to write.

_Oh, well, let's see,_ He thought to himself, _her husband was an ass and pushed her away while he boozed himself up every night, oh and that's after our son died_. "We lost our seven month old son about nine months ago." He whispered.

"My guess would be Post Traumatic Stress." The doctor sighed grasping Olivia's wrist and taking her pulse as she talked. "She'll be home once we get her electrolytes stabilized, probably tomorrow night." She smiled softly.

"How do I keep food in her?" he asked softly taking hold of Olivia's limp hand and starring at her, whishing she'd wake up just so he could look into her eyes. He kicked himself for being so selfish when he knew she needed her rest.

"You're gonna have to start her out slowly," She advised him, "Her body has literally eaten away at it's self for nourishment, start her out on Pedialyte, go to Ensure within a day or two, jell-o, pudding and soups by the end of the week…work you're way up from there slowly. She'll need exercise to regain her muscle mass, start her with slow walks nothing big and move from there."

The doctor handed him a sheet of paper that he hadn't realized she'd written her monologue on. He thanked her politely and folded it tucking it safely in his pockets, "She gets cold easily. Can she have another blanket?"

"I'll bring you one." The doctor smiled, "She's gonna be just fine, once she gets the stress level under control her hair will stop falling _out_ and her lunch will stay _in_." she snickered "But in all seriousness…she's gonna need to talk to someone."

_Doctors have the stupidest humor_. He thought to himself as he forced a smile, "Thank you." He kept up the act until she walked out. He turned to see that Olivia's eyes were partially opened and a weak smile was on her face.

"El?"

"Yeah, Honey?"

"Doctor's," She swallowed hard trying to moisten her throat, "have the stupidest humor." She chuckled producing a small coughing fit.

"Rest Liv…no talking, here." He said providing her with a small cup of water he held to her dry lips. Stoic Olivia Stabler, helpless.

"Here you are, Sir." The doctor smiled returning with the promised blanket, "You have some friends waiting in the hall." She informed him softly and then noticing Olivia was awake. "How are you feeling Mrs. Stabler?"

"Like crap." She whispered, "Probably look it too."

The doctor smiled at Elliot, "I see what you mean now." She laughed and checked the monitors and I.V. "Your stubbornness will get you home early Mrs. Stabler." She smiled at Olivia and turned to disappear from the room.

Elliot unfolded the blanket over her, "Fresh out of the oven Liv." He informed her feeling the warmth from the blanket.

She looked at him with sunken eyes that tried to spark but was lacking fire, "Toasty." She muttered.

"Can I lay next to you?" he asked her softly and gently positioned himself next to her when she shook her head yes.

"Can I hold you?" he asked not wanting to hurt her.

"Please." Her raspy voice ripped through him like a cancer destroying any hope of strength he had. He fought to keep his composure and switched to humor.

"You know Liv." He said happily as he stroked her face with his knuckles, "We've had what? Four hospital stays in two years…our insurance premium is gonna go through the roof." He chuckled seeing her eyes spark even if it was for a faint second.

"El?" her voice was barely audible.

"Yeah?" he whispered kissing her softly on her nose.

"I'm sorry," she cleared her throat, "that I scared you." She closed her eyes softly then opened them feeling his fingertips on her cheek.

"Liv," he said through a boyish grin, "we really need to talk about that stubborn streak you have."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Elliot." Robert called from the hall, "How is she?" he asked giving him the standard three pat hug before releasing him.

"She'll be fine, severe malnutrition…I feel like an ass, I should have drug her down here." He shook his head then looked around, "Alex with you?"

"Ladies room."

"Oh." Elliot muttered before he sat down in the hall.

"Alex tells me Olivia is pretty head strong, don't blame you're self for doing what she asked you to do…she probably thought she was sick with the flu or something, Alex gets like that sometimes, she looses weight and wont eat." He offered his words but could see Elliot wasn't absorbing them.

"Elliot!" Alex chirped from the hall, "How is she?"

Elliot shook his head and smiled, not at the fact that she was in the hospital, but at the fact that Olivia Benson Stabler was the most stubborn sonovabitch he'd ever seen. "That woman is gonna give me heart attack before I'm fifty."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two weeks after being released from the hospital Elliot found himself driving her back in the middle of the night. _I'm really starting to hate hospitals_. He thought to himself as he merged carefully onto the freeway and accelerated.

"How far are the contractions?" Olivia asked sleepily looking in the vanity mirror and then whishing she hadn't.

"Two minutes, I hope we make this." He chuckled, "Casey's always been obnoxiously early, I think the kid is inheriting her traits." He chuckled.

"Hey Elliot." She smiled looking at him.

"Hey Olivia." He called back to her as he switched lanes.

"I stepped on the scale last night."

"Really?" He looked at her briefly before returning his gaze to the road and then back to her, "What it say."

"One at a time please." She laughed softly.

"Corny…that was so corny." He shook his head.

"Your smiling though." She pointed to the curve in his lips.

"Yeah, because of the corniness of that joke." He laughed putting on the blinker and exiting the freeway. "What it say Liv?" he asked seriously as they waiting at the red light.

"One fifteen." She smiled, "I gained eight pounds in two weeks." She chuckled.

"You know?" Elliot teased her tickling her gently, "I thought you were starting to look like a chunky monkey."

Olivia arched her brows in surprise, "Chunky Monkey huh?"

"Maybe I like chunky." He teased her remembering their snowball fight on Christmas.

"Green light." She announced with a smile, "I was starting to miss my boobs." She joked with him.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh don't pretend you didn't notice." She smiled and rolled her eyes, "I was a carpenter's dream Elliot." She giggled and pointed to an empty space.

"I don't think I brought change." He said as he slowed the mustang.

"I got it." She assured him.

"Need help getting out?" he asked knowing she was still weak.

"Um, could you stand by my door just in case?"

"Your wish, is my command." He grinned stepping out of the car as she opened the door to her side and withdrew her own form of payment from her glove box knowing he was going to have an aneurysm. She stood slowly, gained her balance and then shut the door, smiling as she walked to the meter and put the small paper sack that she penned "OUT OF ORDER" over the meter.

"Olivia!" he shrieked with eyes like quarters, "You can't do that."

"Apparently I can." She said pointing to the paper sack and smiling. She extended her hand for him to take it and when he did she grinned, "Don't be such a law abiding citizen."

"Are you encouraging me to break the law Detective?" He asked smiling as they walked through the hospital doors.

"No," she smiled and leaned up for a kiss, "I'm telling you to not be such a wuss."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Alright Mrs. Novak," The doctor smiled at her, "You're ready to deliver."

Paul stroked her hair softly and smiled as he held her hand, "This time tomorrow…we're mom and dad." He whispered to her.

"We haven't decided on a name and we never asked Olivia and Elliot." She said just before groaning and forcing herself to breath correctly.

"Got to push Casey." The doctor encouraged her, "Push now!" He instructed.

Paul thought she would break his fingers she clutched him so tightly, "Casey, honey, my fing-" The look she gave him shut him up. "Go ahead and squeeze." He plastered a smile on his face as he heard his knuckles pop.

"I can see the head." The doctor exclaimed happily as if it we're his son she were giving birth too.

"Casey," a nurse asked from holding up a mirror, "Would you like to see?"

"Do. Not. Put that mirror anywhere near my body!" Casey scolded through clenched teeth as the doctor yelled at her to push again.

"Hardest push right here Casey, let's go, real strong honey." He encouraged her stepping back and taking a blue pad from the nurse, "Push Casey!"

Paul watched his wife bare down with her knees up in her chest, her face bright red, teeth locked together, she was beautiful. Although, he wished his son would just come out so he could retrieve his hand from the clutches of this woman who was almost making him weep in physical pain as he saw his fingertips turn white. Then again she was squeezing a watermelon through a lemon…he could cut her some grace at the moment.

"One more Casey!"

"That's what you said on the other push!" she yelled tossing her head back on the pillow in exhaustion.

Paul wiped the sweat from her face pushing her hair out of her eyes and kissing her gently, "One more Case."

Casey rolled her eyes, "I'm going to kill you." She barked out of breath then took a deep breath and bore one last time feeling the release from her loins that indicated new life. She smiled and rested her head hearing the gentle cry fill the room.

"And," The doctor said with a broad smile as he stood "We have a baby girl!"

"What?" Casey and Paul questioned in unison, they hadn't even considered girl names.

Paul stammered, "The ultra sound said boy."

The doctor laughed, "Just kidding, a little doctor humor." He smiled, "Would you like to cut the chord to you're son?"

Paul smiled and Casey could have sworn she saw every tooth in that man's mouth as his tears streaked his face and he gently cut the chord, officially bringing their son into the world. The doctor whisked him away quickly.

"Hey!" Casey yelled suddenly, "Where are you taking him?" her voice broke as she clutched at Paul's shirt, "Paul, where are they taking him, I need to see him."

"Casey," He whispered her name softly, not fully understanding what not having him there when Sara was born did to her, "They're gonna clean him up and bring him back, that's all, I saw him…ten little fingers…ten little toes." He kissed her sweaty forehead and embraced her tightly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Elliot, Olivia, come in." Paul said sticking his head out the door and motioning for them to come into Casey's hospital room.

"When do I get to see my nephew?" Olivia grinned as she approached him.

"Under one condition." He said softly.

"Wow, El, he's bribing us with the kid." She smiled, "Good work."

"No," He blushed, "Casey is feeling a little blue and tired, tell her she's beautiful will ya?"

Elliot rested his hand on Olivia's shoulder, "Will do, man. Now step aside and let us see that kid." He smiled and ushered Olivia into the room allowing her to sit in order to not tire her out.

"Wow!" Elliot smiled, "Casey…you look radiant."

She smiled, exhaustedly but he still saw her eyes light up.

"Yeah Casey," Olivia winked at her, "You're a hotty."

"Shut up you guys." She laughed and then grew serious looking at Olivia, "I'm still ticked you didn't tell me you were in the hospital."

"Casey, come on." Olivia smiled, "You were about to explode with that baby…trust me when I tell you, we were doing you a favor."

Casey rolled her eyes but smiled, "Are you okay?"

"Yep…gaining weight with all the Ensures Elliot shoves down my throat…nasty." She shuddered remembering how the vanilla ensures tasted if they were left out too long.

Casey laughed, "Want to hold him?"

Olivia smiled so big Elliot thought for sure he'd be able to park the car in her mouth, he hadn't seen that smile in a long time and it still looked sexy on her. "Do you really have to ask?" She swallowed the lump in her throat and Casey passed the baby boy to Paul and Paul laid him gently into Olivia's arms. She laughed. "Casey, this kid doesn't look like either one of you."

"I told you Paul." Casey snorted.

Elliot leaned over Olivia's shoulders to see the tiny boy with blond black hair and infant blue eyes. "Well…you got a name for this kid or do we have to call him Noname?" Elliot teased.

"Well," Paul cleared his throat and visibly tensed as he laced his fingers with Casey's, "We uh."

"Oh, Paul." Olivia shook her head, "Tell me you have a name for your son…tell me you didn't actually forget to pick one out?" She smiled.

"No, we have a first name picked out-"

"It's the middle name we wanted to talk to you two about." Casey spoke softly pushing herself up in the bed.

Olivia looked up at the two and took note of their defensive posture, "Don't you dare name him CrackerJack…that's wrong." She teased trying to get them to relax. They just had a precious blessing bestowed upon them, no need for angst. "Come on guys, spill what's the big mystery."

"Olivia," Casey started softly, "Paul and I, we…we loved Isaac like he was our own and we wanted you're blessing to give our son you're son's name as a middle name."

Stunned silence except for the gentle rooting from the nameless boy in her hands searching for food, "Barkin' up the wrong tree kid." She smiled at him and motioned for Paul to take him.

Olivia looked up to see if Elliot was equally stunned and when she saw the wet sheen in his eye she knew he was.

"We want Isaac to never be forgotten, even to us but we understand if it's too mu-"

Elliot spoke through a harsh whisper, "We would like that very much." He said looking down at his wife who was shaking her head affirming his words.

"Well then," Paul smiled holding his son proudly so that Elliot and Olivia could take a look, "Say hello to Addison Isaac Novak" he kissed his son gently and returned him to his mother's arms.

Olivia stood slowly seeing Casey's exhaustion, "We're going to go…Alex is on her way though." She smiled and kissed Casey on the crown of her head, "Good job mom." She smiled again and kissed the crown of Addison's head, "Good by Addison Isaac."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You!" Donovan smiled walking cockily into Melinda Warner's office, "Are going to love me!" he said pointing to himself.

"Don't be so sure." She exhaled, "Three months ago I asked you to find an answer…I can assure you, I do not love you…especially when I don't get the answer."

"I sense hostility." He furrowed his brows.

"You're gonna sense unemployment if you don't get the led out of your as-" she stopped when he produced a piece of paper holding in front of her as if he were a ten year old producing an 'A' paper. "What is that, I don't have time for you're cute games." She snapped tossing her pen on the desk and rubbing her eyes.

"Are you always this grumpy when people give you good news."

She glared at him then smiled sarcastically, "Only when it comes from you."

"Flattery will get you-"

"Fired, if you don't tell me what the hell that paper is for!" she barked standing and leaning over her desk.

Donovan looked at her seriously, "That hurt."

"Donovan!"

"Alright, alright, look at the paper." He said handing it to her to which she snatched it in frustration.

She exhaled in frustration, "It's you're review from last year…what the hell do I care about that you weren't even here then."

"Mean." He shook his head and opened the file she had given him and retrieved the note she was sent on Christmas. "You're exactly right, I wasn't here last year, I was at the Queens office."

"One nerve left Donovan." She warned him.

"It's a specialty paper Dr. Warner…they're identical." He smiled.

She snatched the papers up into the hands again and inspected them with her naked eye determining that the color was the same, the weight of the paper seemed accurate enough and the linen seemed to be a consistent pattern on both pieces. "This could be anyone's paper…a coincidence." She tried to poke holes into this story but she had the gut feeling he was right.

"That's what I thought too so, I ran the sample through the data base and they match…which led me to go back to the office in Queens and tell them you needed a copy of my review and that I had lost it-"

"You used my name without asking?" she asked incredulously.

"Yeah…you might get a call, sorry." He shrugged his shoulders.

She couldn't help the smile, he was cocky, but he was good too.

"Ta Da." He smiled producing a replica of the review he'd previously given…direct match right down to the lot number, which means all three of these papers have come from the Queens medical examiner's office."

She looked at the third piece and shook her head, "Good work."

"Why thank you," he bowed his head, "It's nice to be app-""

"Shut up." She shook her head, "It's good work, we got the 'where from' now we need the 'who from'." She muttered to herself in a brainstorm trying to remember if she knew anyone there that would send her this file.

"What if I told you I know that 'Who From'" He smiled looking down at her.

"How?" She furrowed her brows.

He reached across the desk and flipped the original review over and pointed to an ink blotch on the back, "The man who instructed me when I did my internship there printed this out inside of his office," he turned the note over, "Same ink blotch, same spot." Seeing what he was dong she turned the copied review over in her hand.

"There's nothing on this one."

"That's because I saw the secretary print this out at the reception desk…not the office."

"It's not conclusive." She shook her head.

"No, but this is." He smiled retrieving a newspaper clipping, "The medical examiner, the man who printed that riddle, spilled the beans that other M.E.s were selling unclaimed bodies."

"Do gooder?" she asked.

"I think so." He smiled, "Can I say I'm appreciated?"

"If that's what helps you sleep at night." She smiled.

"Sweet heart, I got no problems when it comes to my bed." He smiled and tilted his head to one side.

"Donovan?"

"Yes…I know…I'm pure genius." He grinned.

"Do you want to see this case through?" she smiled folding her arms across her chest.

"Absolutely."

"Then don't ever call me sweetheart again."


	11. Chapter 11 What Did I Do

Divided We Fall

Chapter 12 What Did I Do?

A/N: Wickedly mean cliffhanger...just thought I'd let you know now.

"It's oddly warm for March." Elliot smiled giving Olivia's hand a gentle squeeze as they walked along the soft shoulder of the road that past by their home.

"I like it." She chirped taking his arm and guiding it around her shoulders allowing her to lean into him as they walked. "I like this."

"Addison Isaac." Elliot threw out the name wondering how she felt about it.

"He's a cute kid…but looks nothing like his parents." She laughed, "Although he was pretty long, he's probably gonna take after Paul."

"Olivia." Elliot spoke her name softly guiding her into a deeper conversation, "How are you feeling."

"Good, like I told you, I'm gaining my weight back and I think I'm ready to go on solids." She grinned playfully. "What is that? Like level three on the Gerber baby food scale."

"Olivia." He stopped her gently, keeping one hand on the small of her back and brushing her bangs from her face, "You know what I'm talking about, tell me how you felt when you held him."

Olivia lowered her voice feeling the bitterness rise from within her, "How do you _think_ I felt Elliot."

"Hey," he kept her close, "I'm not trying to hurt you, I just want you to talk, so you don't get sick again…that's all Liv." He assured her placing a lingering kiss to her forehead.

She exhaled and brought her hands to his chest absently adjusting his jacket, "I didn't mean to snap at you Elliot, I'm sorry." She whispered avoiding his eyes.

Elliot smiled, "I just want to talk to you Liv, just want you to process this without hurting your self." _Wow, I'm starting to sound like Huang._

"I know." She whispered, "Can we rest? My legs are cramping…this is farther than we've went before." She smiled at her accomplishment.

"Sure, how about," he looked around, realizing there weren't very many options along the roadside. "right there." He pointed just a bit further ahead at a telephone pole that apparently had been broken in half. He doubted the person who hit the pole survived, "Do you think you can make it there."

"Yeah, that's not too far," she smiled slyly, "Although a gentleman would just carry me." She teased him.

"What if I told you I got something better?" He smiled then stepped in front of her so his back faced her. He squatted and bent his back, "Hop on Liv."

"Oh, yeah right." She laughed, "I haven't piggy backed since I was four."

"Well then, you're due for a ride. Now hop on." He said pointing to his back.

"I can't beli-"

"Get on woman!" He laughed, "Loose the pride, and let's move."

Olivia grinned and rolled her eyes stepping closer and draping her body over the strength of his back. The laugh came from her belly as he gripped the back of her thighs and adjusted her body with a gentle thrust. She held him around the shoulders and waist tightly and simply smiled as he walked effortlessly to their destination.

He lowered her carefully and suddenly pretended to be out of breath. "Elliot, what's wrong?" she grew concerned, and then saw his faint smile.

"Are you sure you only gained eight pounds?" he laughed.

"Shut up." She scolded him with a gentle slap and a soft smile as she sat, "Wonder who died here." She muttered looking at the pole as she sat.

"Wow…cop attitude to the core." He laughed sitting next to her. Then frowning seeing her wince and grab her leg.

"Cramp!" she groaned, "Oh, I hate these." She moaned rubbing her calf.

Elliot casually pulled out an item from his jacket as she worked the cramp out, "Surprise!" Elliot smiled holding a banana.

"Okay Elliot," She arched her brow at the surprise, "The chunky monkey thing is old." She smiled, then rubbed her calve again, "Come on, this hurts.'

"I know, the doctor said you'd get them and to eat banana's because they have potassium…now eat it." He instructed as he peeled it.

"Eat this…walk over there…you can't eat that…how much do you weigh," She faked irritation then smiled taking the banana, "you know El, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're head over heals in love with me."

Elliot tilted his head playfully, "Naw." He laughed as she took a bite of the fruit and rolled her eyes. "You got to talk about it Liv."

She exhaled and swallowed her first bite, "I hate talking."

"I like listening." He whispered tucking her hair behind her ear, "I like when you trust me with what you're feeling."

Olivia took another bite chewing slowly composing her thoughts then suddenly turning to him, "Do you think I'm a bad person?" she blurted out looking at him square in the eye searching him quickly and finding only compassion.

"Olivia Stabler." He re positioned himself to straddle the pole and hold her close to him, interlocking his hands around her waist, "There are a million things I think about you…all good; there are so many things you're capable of…all pure." He kissed her softly on the temple, "I don't think you're a bad person…tell me why you think you are."

Olivia smiled sadly and rested against him, "When I was holding Addison…I wanted him to be mine."

Elliot looked down at a face that had entirely too much pain written, "Olivia…there's nothing wrong with that, I think Casey would understand that feeling, I understand it, and to tell you the truth, that's kinda why I didn't ask to hold him."

Olivia looked at him slightly shocked, she had wondered why he didn't ask to hold the baby but figured he just didn't want to be a baby hog, "I'm sorry El, I didn't even ask how you felt about it."

"Hey," he rested his head against hers, "I just didn't want to put myself in a position where I might get depressed and want a drink…I didn't know if I was ready to take on something big like that…but you jumped in there Liv, blind faith…that's what I love about you."

"Blind faith?" she arched her brows, "I hardly think so."

Elliot laughed softly, "Olivia, you've changed so much and you don't even see it."

"For the bad?" she asked furrowing her brows.

"Would I be laughing if it were bad?"

"How can you say I have blind faith…I don't even understand faith." Her voice was borderline angry, "How can you put you're faith in a God who doesn't care Elliot…why would you do that?" Her voice broke with a frustration that she hadn't been able to pinpoint until now.

"If I didn't believe the God loves us…it wouldn't change the fact that He does." He whispered, "Faith is believing what we can't see."

"Why," She lowered her gaze and wiped the formation of moisture from her eyes, "is he putting us through all of this, why…is he so upset with me?" she questioned in a hoarse whisper.

Elliot wrapped her tighter, "Olivia, I can't answer you why were going through this but I can tell you that He doesn't punish people…He's not upset with you, and I know you're gonna hate me when I tell you this…but, you've got to give him a chance Liv."

"What did I do, that was so terrible that He would take our son and then let me stand in the wake of my best friends pregnancy?" she pleaded with him, clutching at his jacket, "Please tell me." She whispered through her tears, "I'll fix it, I'll do anything."

"Olivia," he kissed her cheek, "I understand that you're confused and upset, I am too, but right now, the way I see it, God's our only ally." He kissed her softly again, "We're gonna get through this together…we're gonna make it through this hell."

Olivia smiled faintly and broke the embrace with a gentle kiss on his lips, "Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"The banana?" she held up the peel.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Didn't really do anything for me…legs feel great but I'm starving." She smiled.

"We'll then, let's get some soup in you." He stood extending his arm.

Olivia groaned, "Elliot, come on."

"What?" he said pulling her up gently, "We got tomato, vegetable and chicken soup at the house."

"El, please take me out…I want food, I want to be out with you…I'm sick of liquid's and pudding."

"Oliv-"

Olivia cut him off deciding she would have to play dirty, "What happened to 'Your wish is my command'?" she tugged on his jacket, "Don't make me act like some whiny school girl, Elliot." She smiled, and added one more just for good measure, "Please?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Come on Paul," Casey smiled, "let me hold him."

"Case," he smiled back cradling Addison carefully, "You held him for nine months, and I want to hold him now."

"He needs to eat." She offered.

"Your just trying to hold him." He smiled sitting next to her in the bed, "He's asleep…how do you know he's hungry?"

"Come on Paul." She sat up, "Let me hold him, please."

"Fine," He smiled kissing the small forehead of his son and placing him gently into Casey's arms, "I have to get some work done anyway."

"No, please?" She asked him clutching his shirt as he tried to leave, "Please stay here with me."

"What's wrong Casey?" He asked softly readjusting himself to sit next to her with his arm around her shoulder.

"Nothing," she smiled sadly, "I just…"

Paul looked at her hold his son securely against her breast, "What is it?"

"We weren't…we didn't, we didn't get to spend time…you know, with-"

"Casey," Paul smiled kissing her gently on her cheek and resting his hand on Addison's tiny frame. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to be with you when we lost Sara, I need you to know that I'm not going anywhere…ever."

Casey smiled softly and bent her knees to rest Addison so they both could see him. "Paul?"

"Yeah, Honey?"

"Thank you…for coming back to me." She smiled letting a tear cascade down her cheek, "Thank you for being with me right now."

"Ah, Case," He wiped her tear with his thumb, "I think we came back to each other, and there's no place I'd rather be than right here, right now, with my gorgeous wife and my handsome son."

Casey smiled and rested her head on Paul's shoulder, "Where did he get this dark hair?"

Paul chuckled, "I haven't the slightest idea…he's gonna be a rebel." He suggested, "Tall too."

Casey smiled and looked up to see Paul's eyes, "Just like his dad." She smiled kissing him softly.

"Yeah," Paul grinned down at his sleeping son, "Just like his dad."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia stepped out of the bathroom stall of the Italian restaurant and washed her hands quickly, wanting nothing more than sit down for some real food with her husband. She rolled her eyes when she realized there was no soap in the dispenser, glancing over to the next dispenser she groaned seeing that it was also empty. "Cute." She mumbled sarcastically and turned the water faucet off. Grabbing the lever of the paper towel dispenser she groaned in protest, seeing that the janitor hadn't filled the dispenser, "You can't be serious." She moaned and then turned to see there was an electronic dryer mounted on the wall. "Yes!" she smiled then quickly frowned when she pushed the button and no heat was produced, "Un-friggin-believable." She tossed her head back and exhaled, shaking the water off of her hands and then cramming them into her jean pockets and rubbing them against the fabric, _perfect_.

Olivia looked at her shoes as she exited the restroom knowing that, at the rate she was going, it was very possible she had toilet paper dragging on her sneakers. When she looked up she stopped and leaned against the wall, observing a woman shamelessly flirting with Elliot. _Oh, this is gonna be good_. She smiled, remembering how Elliot flirted with her constantly, she smiled knowing he still did, but she'd never seen a woman flirt _with him_ since they'd been married. _What kind of woman flirts with a man wearing a wedding ring?_ She thought to herself watching and listening from a distance.

"So, are you here alone tonight?" The obviously plastic breasted woman asked bending just far enough that Elliot thought they moved Silicon Valley over to the East coast.

"I'm here with the only person who matters." He told her matter of factly.

"The seats empty." The blond motioned with her head.

"So it is." Elliot opened the menu in an effort to let the woman know he wasn't interested, in fact, he was completely annoyed_, what kind of woman flirts with a man wearing a wedding ring?_ He thought to himself and wished Olivia would hurry up whatever it was that she was doing.

The woman sat slowly and leaned over the table putting her breast on display for Elliot, "Come, on," She smiled, "No woman in her right mind would leave a good looking man like you alone for a second."

Elliot closed the menu he was trying to peruse and exhaled in an effort to speak calmly, "A woman who trusts me would." He smiled apologetically and stood walking over to the bar.

Olivia smiled seeing Elliot literally walk away from a woman who she knew, that in her current state, looked much more appealing than she did. She was about to walk over and meet Elliot when the buxom blond made her way to him first. Olivia shook her head and laughed at the woman's audacity, _scandalous_. She shook her head and watched a little concerned that he was at the bar, but happy when he ordered a soda and sat. She watched as his shoulders tensed when the woman sat next to him. _Ha! He's uncomfortable_. She grinned.

"A little shy handsome?" the woman smiled ordering her self a soda.

"Nope." He responded dryly as he eyed the sports program on the T.V. "A little married." He countered waving his left hand at her and wiggling his finger hoping she would get the hint.

"I'm sure I can show you a good time…maybe a dance?" She asked trailing her finger on his thigh.

Olivia furrowed her brows, _no touching _she thought to herself and started to make her way to the bar again when Elliot slid the woman's hand off of his thigh and reached into his pocket retrieving his wallet. His body language declared his embarrassment, while his eyes spoke his anger but, somehow, his voice was cool, "If, I want to dance with a beautiful woman," he smiled at her, luring her in slightly closer to him before he smirked, "I'll ask my wife." He said tossing a five on the bar and telling the bartender to keep the change.

Elliot pocketed his wallet and turned to see Olivia standing with a smile on her face, "Hey," he smiled at her, "I thought I was gonna have to send in a search team." He teased her walking to her as he felt the stare of the blond on him. He wrapped his hand possessively around her waist and led her back to the booth he'd previously occupied, "You go on a walk-a-bout or what?" he laughed as they sat.

"No," she smiled softly, "I got sidetracked by something interesting."

"Interesting?" He arched his brows, "In the restroom? Do I want to know?"

Olivia smiled opening her menu, "Maybe I'll tell you tonight."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hello, I'm here to see you're chief medical examiner." Melinda Warner smiled at the young receptionist and couldn't help but feeling a little old. _These kids get younger and younger…or I'm get older _she thought to herself.

The young receptionist who, according to her nametag, was named Dara, furrowed her brows, "Did you have an appointment?"

"Um, no actually I didn't." Melinda smiled hoping that would be enough…knowing it wouldn't be.

"I'm sorry ma'am, he doesn't see people without appointments." She smiled closing the appointment books. "It's almost the end of the work week as well."

"I see." Melinda pressed her lips together and pulled out her identification card, "Can you tell him that the Chief Medical Examiner of Manhattan would like to pick his brain about a case."

"Manhattan?" The woman smiled, "What brings Manhattan into Queens?" she smiled opening the book again and running her finger along a column.

Melinda smiled at her, "Just a little research."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot smiled seeing Olivia's face light up as the waiter placed a plate of fettuccini in front of her, "Yes…sustenance." She grinned picking up her fork as the waiter placed the lasagna in front of Elliot.

"Go easy on that Liv, you don't w-"

"Want to hurt my stomach." She finished his sentence, "Yeah, yeah, I know El." She smiled diving her fork into the cheesy fettuccini and taking a bite, savoring it as if it would be her last, "This is so amazing." She mumbled chewing the food and relaxing in the seat.

Elliot smiled watching her chew, eyes closed, a faint smile on her face and her head slightly tilted, "You're a woman who loves her food, Liv." He teased her starting in on his own meal.

"I have been deprived." She smiled and took another bite, "Now, that's heaven." She smiled and slid her feet over to his allowing him to wrap his calves around hers and lock his ankles together.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?" She asked not looking up from her food but trying to determine which section had the most cheese to pull from.

"I was thinking," he lowered his voice, "about, maybe, talking to the detectives who ran Isaac's case."

Shocked, she dropped her fork as she stared at him. Not exactly able to find her voice she whispered, "Why?"

"I don't know." He shrugged, "I think maybe it would help us with closure if w-"

"Closure is crap!" she hissed bitterly, "You and I both know it Elliot, don't feed me that line…why do you want to talk to them? Can't we just…can't we just," Unable to find the words she finally confessed, "I don't want to know anything," she whispered lowering her head. "I don't want to know the pain he felt, or the breath he gasped for in the fire." Her tears slid uncontrollably.

"Oh, Liv." He swallowed is half masticated lasagna, "I'm so sorry." He shook his head and stood to his feet only to slid into the booth next to her and wrap his arm around her shoulder, "I didn't mean to hurt you, I thought it would help…maybe it's too early."

"I don't want to know El."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I'm sorry Ma'am." Dara smiled hanging up the phone, "He said he just doesn't have time right now.'

"That's alright, can you tell me what time he's usually here?"

"He's here every morning at seven and leaves promptly at five." She smiled, "Thanks for coming bye."

"No." Melinda smiled wondering if the youngster realized she'd just given her what she wanted, "Thank _you_."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey," Paul smiled and kissed Casey gently on the mouth in an effort to wake her from the nap her body finally gave into, as Addison lay cuddled next to her.

"Hi." She mumbled then suddenly jerked awake checking to see that she hadn't smothered Addison.

"He's fine." Paul chuckled and picked him up slowly. "I'm gonna put him down and take a shower okay?"

"Mmmm, I'm gonna sleep." She smiled, "Thank you." She muttered sliding further down into the comfort of her bed.

She heard the sound of Paul winding up the mobile above the crib, then the shower water turning on as she finally drifted off to sleep only to be startled by a ringing phone.

"Paul." She groaned, "Phone." She muttered hoping he hadn't actually jumped in the shower yet.

"I'm naked,' he called back to her through the door.

Casey arched her brows and smiled, all the more reason to come out here and answer the phone.

"The phone is right next to you Case." He informed her.

_Nuts_! She rolled over smiling at her own choice of words and picking up the phone. "Hello, this is Casey."

"Casey, it's Melinda, do you got a sec?"

"Melinda?" She furrowed her brows, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Cragen tells me you had a little boy." Melinda informed her, trying to ease into her real reason for calling.

"No, I didn't have a little boy," She smiled and corrected her, "I had a _gorgeous_ little boy."

"Oh," Melinda laughed, "I apologize for the miscommunication."

"No problem." Casey giggled, "But Melinda, come on…what did you really call for?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"How about Syriana?" Elliot suggested as they stood in the movie line.

"Ahh, what about that movie with the wardrobe? Alex said it was good." Olivia countered, squinting her eyes and scanning the sign for the movie.

"Really? Okay." Elliot shrugged, "Never figured you for a kids movie."

"Yeah, well…I think we both need something a little light hearted these days, don't you think?" she smiled then suddenly grabbed for his arm.

"You okay?"

"I think I need to rest a little." She blushed, "My legs are a little wobbly." She confessed.

Elliot walked her slowly to a bench and sat next to her.

"Aren't you gonna buy the tickets?" She smiled watching as the length of the line increased.

"First, we'll get something in you're stomach." He smiled bringing the backpack down between his feet and unzipping it.

"I just ate."

"Your weak."

"Hey…watch it buddy." She warned with a smile and reached down to the bag, "What do you got in there anyway?"

"Don't touch." He smiled and playfully slapped the back of her hand.

"Come on El, you've been lugging that pack around since I got out of the hospital…what's in it?" She asked curiously.

"Are you cramping?" Elliot asked ignoring her question and searching through that bag.

"No," She smiled, "Just wobbly."

"Okay," He said retrieving a health bar, "I think you're stomach can handle these now."

"Elliot." She smiled, "You've been carrying this stuff around…for what?" she grinned already knowing, "Let me see." She asked softly taking hold of the pack and looking through to see that he'd thought about everything, "Water," She smiled, "Protein bar, pudding, ewe…Ensure," She made a disapproving look but knew that it was the tiny things like this that made her fall in love with him. He'd never want to see her hurt, and for a moment she wondered if he would ever forgive himself for hurting her, by turning to alcohol.

She caressed his face with her hand and brought him to her lips sipping softly, before running the tip of her tongue along his lip and separating with a smile, "Thank you." She smiled looking at him, "But promise me something?"

"Anything." He grinned.

"Trash this." She smiled holding up the can of Ensure, "I really hate these…they make me feel old."

Elliot smiled taking the can from her and kissing her forehead as he stood, "I'll get the tickets."

Olivia smiled, "I'll eat the pudding."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Melinda," Casey smiled opening the door for her to enter, "Come on in." Casey motioned with her hand.

"Thanks for seeing me Casey, I know you have to be exhausted."

"I'm a little tired, but Addy should be waking any minute to eat." She ran her hand through her hair, and closed the door. "What's going on…you sounded stressed on the phone."

"I got a case that I'm not sure what's happening with." Melinda shoved her hands in her pockets, "Is there some place we can talk?"

"Sure, let me tell Paul to keep an ear out for Addy, and I'll meet you in the office." She said pointing down the hall, "Second door on the right, forgive the mess, I'm researching a case right now."

Melinda smiled and made her way to the indicated door while Casey disappeared into the master bedroom, "Paul?" she called into the bathroom placing the baby monitor on the countertop.

"Yeah?" he stuck his head out of the shower stall.

"Can you keep an ear out of Addy? I'm gonna be in the office with Melinda."

"Have fun." He smiled closing the door and returning to his shower.

Casey retreated to the kitchen and grabbed two bottled waters from the refrigerator before walking back to the office, "So," Casey smiled offering Melinda a water, "What's this big case you got going?"

"I should ask you the same thing." Melinda said pointing to the files on Casey's desk.

"Ugh," Casey shook her head and sat down, "Can you believe that people sell dead bodies?"

"Excuse me?"

"Take a look for you're self." Casey passed a case file to Melinda whose curiosity had already been peeked.

"Wow."

"You're telling me'" Casey rubbed the sleep from her eyes, "Apparently, it's all over the nation, and there's a couple here in good old NYC." She scoffed, "This city is somethin' else."

"Tell me about it."

"Actually," Casey corrected her posture, "I thought you were here to ask me something."

"Well," Melinda said pulling out her own case file from her workbag, "can you promise me that this is just between you and I for the time being?"

Casey arched her brows, "Sounds interesting."

"I don't know what it is at the moment…do I have you're word, as an officer of the court?" Melinda asked seriously.

"Melinda," Casey grinned, "I haven't had something interesting fly by my desk in ages, you have my word as an officer of the court, and as a friend…now show me what ya got."

Melinda exhaled and handed Casey the case file, "It was sent to me anonymously, but I have a good feeling who sent it."

"Have you confronted the sender?"

"No…that's what I wanted you're opinion on." Melinda informed her, "I need the fine art of manipulation."

"Ah," Casey smiled, "You should go talk to Olivia and Elliot then…those two could get blood out of a turnip."

"What if I told you that," She exhaled puffing her cheeks, "Those are the photos from the car accident?"

Casey had just begun to swallow a sip of her water when she stopped and stared at Warner. She put the bottle down slowly and opened the file, "What do you mean?" She looked at the photos and gasped, "You mean _the_ car accident…with Isaac? Why do you have this? Every one at the precinct was ordered off of this case." She informed her looking at the photos, "Including you."

"I'm aware of that which is why I don't understand why it was sent to me…is someone trying to screw with the Stabler's?" Melinda asked resting her elbows on her knees, "I don't know what to make of this."

"Have you read the reports?" she asked flipping through the pages, "Well, I guess, there's no use, just about every pertinent piece of information is marked out…wonder why?" She furrowed her brows in thought, and then stopped when she looked at the photo's again, stopping on the third one, "Why are there two adult bodies?"

"Accomplice?" Melinda suggested.

"Maybe." Casey shrugged her shoulders, "What do you need by way of manipulation skills…by the way, don't tell Paul, but I'm flattered you think I'm a good manipulator in the court room." She chuckled.

"The best." Melinda smiled, "I need to know how to get someone to admit that they sent me that folder, I can't just ask…what if I'm wrong?"

Casey smiled, "One day Olivia got a confession out of a guy that no one could."

"How?"

"Someone had sent her a photo of a dead boy's grave…she hounded every suspect," Casey laughed, "she told them that she knew they'd sent the photo to her."

"I don't get it?" Melinda furrowed her brow.

"Melinda," Casey arched her brow, "When you apply enough pressure to a soft spot…you get a break…but only if it's a soft spot."

"So, you think I should just tell him I know he sent it and see if he caves?"

"Yep…but you have to be confidant, can't show fear, otherwise, he won't confess." She smiled.  
"No, I have a question for you."

"Okay shoot."

"These bodies, or maybe I should say…bones" She grimaced, "What's with the lay out?" She asked looking at the way the adult skeletons were laid out, and feeling her stomach turn when she saw the infant skeleton laying precariously face down.

"Rig…most likely, once the muscles contract…it's down hill from there." She smiled and looked at her watch, "Oh, I have to go, I told my husband I'd actually be home early tonight."

Casey smiled, "Well, if anything else comes up…you know where to find me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot exhaled as he lowered himself on the edge of the bed, the movie was interesting and being out with Olivia for the first time in several weeks was more than fun but, he was tired, then again, sitting across from one of the most gorgeous women, and having to restrain himself from having his way with her at any given moment could drain the energy out of anybody.

He smiled feeling the bed move as she crawled over to him. Her hands were soft against his sore body, warm against his chilled form. She knelt behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, caressing his chest, "I had fun with you tonight." She smiled and kissed his shoulder.

Elliot leaned his head back onto her shoulder, and smiled, "I had a really good time with you too Liv."

"You're pretty tense." She whispered rubbing her hands over his shoulder "Is something wrong?"

"Do you think I'm old?" he blurted suddenly.

Olivia laughed, not at him, but at the innocence of the question, "Where'd that come from?"

"Just asking." He exhaled and brought her hand to his lips kissing her softly, "I just…" his voice wondered off not sure what he was feeling.

"Elliot," She whispered in his ear, "I think you're sexy, you're body…is amazing." She smiled against him.

Elliot scoffed, "I'm fat Liv."

"What?" She smiled, "You sound like a woman."

"I'm gaining so much weight." He said patting his stomach, "I got on the scale today and I've gained twenty pounds since you've come back home." He started to laugh, "I got an old man's gut Liv."

Olivia smiled and tugged on his shoulders to turn him to her, "So, you gained a little weight," she smiled, "We got three months before we go back to work…you'll loose it."

Elliot groaned, "When I bought the movie tickets…the lady gave me a weird look, like I was too old to watch the Chronicles of Narnia." He blushed, "You married an old man Olivia."

"That Barbie doll at the restaurant didn't seem to think so." She smiled at him pulling him down to lay next to her. "You're blushing Elliot."

"I didn't like her around me." He smiled, "I wanted you there."

"Oh," She arched her brows, "I _was there_…watching you squirm like a worm on a hook."

"She flirted with a married man, Liv."

"My married man." She smiled and nuzzled next to him, enjoying his arms around her waist, "Can I tell you something?"

"Yeah."

"You made me feel really sexy tonight." She smiled into his chest.

"Really? How'd I manage that?" he kissed the top of her head through a grin.

"The way you responded to that woman," She raised her head to look him in the eye, "She definitely was a good looking woman Elliot…and I love that you didn't want her." She kissed him gently on the mouth, " I was starting to feel really unattractive since I've been sick and…I can't explain it but what you did made me feel sexy again."

"You're always sexy." He smiled, "She might have been good looking…but you're stunning." He whispered and tightened his embrace holding her. For Olivia, there was no place safer, no place more comforting.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you weigh your self today?" he asked out of concern.

"Oh, Elliot, come on." She groaned into his chest, "What is you're fascination with weight?"

"Liv, come on…you know I'm not trying to be mean, I just want to make sure you're gaining and not loosing."

"Well," She smiled shifting her weight and pinning him under her, "Let's just say you're not the only one gaining." She chuckled.

Elliot smiled and rested his hands on her waist, "You're really cute you know that?"

"Excuse me?" she smiled, "I'm trying to seduce you," she laughed, "And you tell me I'm _cute_?"

"Maybe I think cute is hot." He shrugged, "Let's start working out when you get back to you're normal weight."

"Are you serious?" she said sitting back on his thighs and resting her hands dangerously close to his crotch.

"Yeah…it'll be fun," he smiled walking his fingers under her shirt, "to see you sweat."

Olivia smiled slyly and lowered her body caressing his naked chest with her tongue and lips, "You know," She whispered making her way to his collar bone and following its contours, "If you want to loose weight," she caressed his cheek as she grazed his neck with her lips, "I know a good way you can burn a couple hundred calories."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dr. Warner found herself on her second venti latte before she had even hit the office. Her eyes were swollen from a sleepless night. She couldn't place it exactly, but there was something that Casey had told her that kept her up all night, something that, she couldn't finger but knew it was important.

Warner sat at her desk looking at the mound of paperwork and exhaling. She rubbed her neck and glanced at the clock, deciding that she would take Casey's advice and confront Dr. Savhey at five O'clock. She was about to take a sip of the blessed caffeine when she heard the voice of the one she didn't want to deal with.

In his best Bugs Bunny impersonation Donavan smiled, "Ehh, what's up Doc?"

She glared at him at stood, "If you don't that body bagged and tagged like I asked, I'm gonna be shootin' Donavan rabbits." She informed him seriously.

He furrowed his brows, "Come on Doc, it's not like you two were dating."

Melinda stopped and looked at him in total confusion, "What?"

"Dr. Savhey." He repeated and then absorbed her facial expression, "Or maybe you were?"

She sat her coffee down and folded her arms, "I'm a happily married woman…what the hell are you talking about Donavan?"

"You didn't read the paper this morning?" He folded his arms and furrowed his brows.

"I'm not afforded that luxury." She raised her brows, "You gonna tell me what you're talking about?"

"You seriously didn't watch the news this morning?"

"Donavan!" she snapped, "If you have time to read the paper and watch the news, than you have to much time on you're hands, and you need to get you're bony ass down here…now what the hell is going on?"

Donavan stepped a little closer and Warner wondered if it was the first time she'd seen him serious, "Melinda," he lowered his voice, "last night, Dr. Savhey…was murdered."


	12. Chapter 12 Case Files

Divided We Fall

Chapter 12 Case Files

Olivia ran straight for the bed and cannon balled herself as close to her sleeping husband as possible, "Wake up!" She smiled like a child seeing Elliot shoot straight up in bed in total shock looking around frantically and then embracing her.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" He asked in worry.

"Elliot," She giggled, "I'm great." She pushed him away so he could see her grin. One month after their outing they finally seemed to be on the upswing, the connection between the two seemed to grow stronger with each passing day and Olivia was looking sexy as ever, although Elliot was still very aware that her eyes never shone quit the same way they did when she held Isaac, he never caught her sleeping with a smile since Isaac was taken, and the fact that she reverted to sleeping in the fetal position again, let him know that there was still a hurt there, and he knew the only thing that would ever ease it…wasn't humanly possible.

"Then why on earth," Elliot smiled playfully taking her to the mattress and covering her neck with soft kisses, "are you waking me up in the middle of the night…with cannon balls?" he smiled into her neck, feeling her hands graze his back, "the bed isn't a pool you know…but if you ever want to try a pool-"

"I want to show you something." She giggled feeling his goatee brush against her skin softly, "Come with me."

"That's what I'm trying to do." He teased her grazing her breast with his thumb and seeing her arch her neck back.

"Elliot," She groaned, "I really want to show you something and then," She gasped again feeling him press into her, "we can have the…rest of the night." She whispered, not so sure if she really wanted to leave the bed now.

"Can I have you now?" he smiled as he hovered over her face and grazed her lips.

Olivia smiled and kissed him gently, "I'd really like to show you something." She whispered.

Elliot smiled and took her bottom lip softly between his teeth, nibbling through a smile as he separated from her, "Show me."

Grinning, Olivia took him by his hand and pulled him out of the bed, wrapping his hands around her waist and leading him as he rested his chin on her shoulder. "You smell good." He whispered as she opened the restroom door.

"Focus Elliot…just two minutes." She laughed and flipped the light on.

"Wow," Elliot faked surprise, "It's the bathroom." He teased her.

"Shut up." She laughed and walked in pulling him along, "Watch." She instructed him pointing down to the scale as she stepped on. Elliot watched with a smile as the needle moved farther and farther along, stopping at a solid one hundred and thirty pounds.

"Hey!" he grinned, "That's great Liv!" he embraced her and kissed her cheek from behind as she stepped off, "How do you feel."

Olivia exhaled and smiled turning to him, "Normal."

"You look fantastic," he smiled flipping the light of and leading her back into the pale light of the room, "You're curves," he whispered, tracing her flesh from her ribs down to her waist, "are dangerous again." He smiled hearing her laugh; he'd do anything to hear her laugh all the time.

"I feel really good." She whispered wrapping her hands around his neck and watching him in the soft light, "Thank you so much Elliot."

"For what?" He furrowed his brows.

"For taking care of my stubborn butt." She smiled, "I really owe you."

Elliot nuzzled his nose against hers and partook of her lips tenderly, drawing her hips to him before separating and whispering, "You don't owe me anything Olivia," he smiled slyly, "But, if it makes you feel better," his tone turned suggestive as he pulled her down over his body, "I suppose, I can let you make love to me."

Olivia could feel her muscles contract over his stomach as she laughed, "Oh…right," she smiled kissing him, "You suppose huh?"

"Yeah." He mumbled against her lips slipping his hands under her pajamas to caress her back, "but only if it will make you feel better." He smiled teasing her.

Olivia smiled at him and traced his jaw line before kissing his cheek and whispering, "You're the only one that makes me feel better."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What the hell did you do to my office?" Melinda said in shock as she saw Donavan stack one more box in her office.

"I ran out of room Doc." He shrugged his shoulders, "besides," he smirked, "you got this absurdly large office-"

"You're right!" she spoke wide eyed, and irritated, "I have this office…it's my office." She informed him, "What the hell are all of these boxes?"

"The homework assignment you gave me." He said standing cockily against the wall.

"What are you talking about?" she furrowed her brow and placed her bag on her desk looking at one of the boxes.

"You told me to go through the case files of Dr. Savhey…you do remember him right?" he asked looking at her as if she'd lost her mind.

"Donavan." Her tone was one of warning, "Why the hell do you insist on speaking in Morse code?"

"Morse code?" He scrunched his face, "No that would sound more like, boop…beep…boop be-"

"Donavan," She eyed him, "Get the boxes out of my office…now!"

"Melinda," he shook his head and grew serious, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize his death was bothering you."

"It's not!" she snapped.

"Oh…so, you're premenstrual?" he smiled, "You love me."

Melinda took the lid off one of the boxes, "So much, I want to shoot you." She smiled and then sat down exhaling deeply and pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Alright," he moved a box form the chair and sat, "what is it?"

"You're irritating." She mumbled.

"True," he smiled, "But that's not exactly what has you so wound up is it?" he asked softly.

"No." she shook her head and arched her brows, "We know, or at least we think, that Dr. Savhey sent the file right?"

"Yeah…I'd bet my check he did."

"I would too." She responded "But an ink blotch and newspaper article isn't exactly conclusive."

"Melinda," he spoke to her as if he were friends with her, and while they really were friends, they both got a kick out of their love hate relationship. She was his mentor and he never failed to surprise her with his passion and knowledge of the job…even if he was irritating. "Don't you think that it's a little weird that you showed up to his office…and the same day he's murdered? He wasn't killed in an accident…he was stabbed to death and his tongue was cut out…you know what that means." He whispered.

"He said something he wasn't suppose to." She spoke into the atmosphere and rested her head on her chair. "But what?" she shook her head, "Dr. Savhey was our only hope of figuring out why that file was sent to us. What the hell are we missing?" she said tapping her pen on the desk.

"I don't know," He shook his head, "But in addition to his case files, I also pulled every auto accident where a fire was involved…the answer is in one of these boxes."

"Dare I ask how many boxes are actually here?"

"Can I just tell you a low number?" he smiled.

"Please."

"Lets say…five." He lied knowing he'd stacked at least fifteen and he had another at least five in the other room. "Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Has anyone bothered to tell the two cops about this?"

Melinda sat up straight and eyed him, "Donavan," she exhaled, "I'm not prepared to put my friends through hell if this is some type of hoax."

"Friends?" he looked her shocked, "You know them?"

"They're both very good friends of mine." She shook her head, "I saw them about three days ago…they're finally laughing."

Donavan shook his head understanding what she was saying, "They're finally accepting the loss and this will just rip the scab right off again wouldn't it."

Melinda's eyes agreed with him, "She's finally laughing…it's been almost a year since we've heard her laugh…I can't put her though more hell unless it's absolutely necessary…I want to know everything I can about this before I break their hearts again."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

True to her word, Olivia called Ricky and informed him she would be back at the gym for sparring and teaching as well as working out with Elliot. He was bummed that she'd only be able to stick around for two more months but he was excited to finally meet her husband.

"El?" she called to him, "Come on, were gonna be late."

"Liv," He groaned, "It's five thirty in the morning." He smiled embracing her from behind, "If you want, I could give you a personally workout."

Olivia laughed, "Elliot, I hate to break it to you sweetheart but, last time I sparred with you, I kicked the crap out of you."

"Sparred? You're sparring this morning?"

"Yep."

"I thought you were teaching the kids?" he furrowed his brows and helped her with her gear bag, realizing that she had to spar with someone, "Who's gonna have their paws on my wife?" he teased her.

"Ricky" she smiled, "And don't worry…he's fast but I got him down to a science." She laughed, "If you want to watch, we can work out later…after the kids."

Elliot thought about it for a second, "I would love to see my wife beat the crap out of a man."

"Just because it's not you huh?" she teased him.

Elliot raised his hands in surrender "Hey…I'm no fool."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot found himself nervously watching Olivia stretch in preparation for her sparring workout. Ricky was a little bigger than she had described and he wasn't so sure he liked the fact that all he was wearing were canvas pants and his black belt. Elliot rolled his eyes, _you might have a black belt, but I've got these blue eyes that she can't resist,_ he chuckled to himself watching Olivia bounce around in her canvas pants and compression shirt. She practically passed out when Elliot accidentally dropped her belt in the locker room trying to tie it around her waist. How was he supposed to know there was a specific way, then again he couldn't even tie his own tie.

Before Elliot knew what was happening they'd started sparring and Elliot wasn't so sure he liked what he saw. Ricky was going full force but as Elliot watched closer he could have sworn Olivia was smiling with her mouth guard in place. Unbelievable. He smiled but still found himself ringing the towel he'd pulled from her bag.

"I'd put my lunch money on Mrs. Stabler." A small voice came from beside him.

Elliot turned to see a young boy in a karate outfit sitting next to him, "Little early for you to be here isn't it?" Elliot smiled at he boy with sunglasses on .

"Mrs. Stabler always teaches me after she spars with Ricky, she's been sick though so another guy was teaching me…he sucks." The little boy informed him, "Mrs. Stabler loves me…she told me that."

Elliot eyed the little boy knowing that Olivia hadn't mentioned she was teaching someone privately, "What's you're name buddy?"

The little boy smiled, "I'm Samuel, I'm eight." He said sticking his hand out at an odd angel to shake Elliot's.

Elliot looked at the placement of the boy's hand, his sunglasses, and the white cane next to him; he was blind. "I'm Elliot," he said softly, "It's good to meet you Samuel."

"Elliot?" he smiled, "She loves you, I heard her tell Ricky that…you're her husband huh?"

Elliot grinned, "Yeah buddy I am."

"I don't ever get to see it, but I hear when she hits the bag…she's strong."

Elliot ran his hand through the boy's hair, "Samuel, you have no idea."

"She wins Ricky sometimes…sometimes she doesn't…Ricky is state champ." He smiled.

"Want me to tell you what's happening?" Elliot asked.

The young boy perked up, "Please!"

Elliot explained to the young boy how Ricky swung, missing and allowing Olivia to take him to the mate with a trip. The young boy rooted Olivia on as Elliot explained that she evaded to the left, dodging a punch, but when Elliot cringed and grabbed onto the young boy he begged to know what happened.

"Sam, my man…Mrs. Stabler just got knocked on her butt." Elliot grimaced wondering how in the world she could take a kick to her head like that and laugh as she stood up, heck; he wondered how she even stood up.

"She'll get up," The young boy smiled confidently, "She always does."

Elliot wondered if the young boy knew that his words carried a plural meaning, wondered if somehow this young man was a gift from God to Olivia.

"She's up." Elliot explained.

Samuel laughed, "Ricky is in trouble."

After several breaks and a solid thirty-minute sparring session the two fighters bowed to one another and removed their sparring equipment, laughing as they walked off the mat. Elliot stood smiling and helped the young boy to his feet. "She's coming to see us Samuel."

"She's pretty huh?" Samuel asked out of curiosity.

"You've got no idea man." Elliot laughed, "How did you know?"

"She's got a pretty heart." He smiled then suddenly called out her name when she was within distance, "Mrs. Stabler!"

"Hey, Sam!" she beamed and Elliot knew he'd never seen something more beautiful then his wife smiling as she hugged the young boy, "I missed you."

"Ricky said you were sick."

"I was." She smiled looking at him square in his eyes. Elliot wondered if that was how she looked at him when he lost his sight, there was respect, not pity. "But I feel really good now…did you meet Elliot?"

"Yeah, I knew he was your husband." The boy smiled keeping contact with Olivia who looked at Elliot and grinned, "How did you know Sam?"

"He really likes you…he was nervous when you and Ricky were practicing."

Elliot raised his eyes at the young boy in shock, he hadn't said anything to the boy but he remembered how his own senses were heightened when he lost his sight and knew the young boy must have picked up on something he did or said. _Damn your good._

"Elliot, this is my friend Ricky, Ricky this is my husband Elliot."

"Nice to meet you." Ricky smiled shaking Elliot's hand.

"You too." Elliot smiled back

"Mrs. Stabler?" the young boy tugged gently on her belt.

"Yes?"

"I want to show Elliot how I can break the boards." He informed her.

"I have to go shower and hit the books anyway." Ricky smiled, "Good fight Olivia," he said patting her on the shoulder, and looking at Elliot, "Good to finally meet you, she tells me you're a good man."

"Good to meet you too." Elliot smiled looking at Olivia as he shook his hand.

"Alright, let's break boards." Olivia laughed letting the young boy take her by the elbow.

Elliot found himself amazed at how willingly Samuel trusted Olivia to lead him, and even more surprised at how well he operated once on the mat. Mrs. Stabler suddenly became ma'am, and Olivia suddenly became a strict and supportive instructor. Elliot found himself a little more than surprised by her persona…he was turned on.

"Alright, what do you got?" Olivia asked.

"Running jump side sick with an obstacle, Ma'am."

"I'm confused." Elliot whispered to Olivia.

She smiled, "He's going to run and jump over an obstacle breaking the board before he lands…it's cake."

"He's blind." Elliot reminded her.

"He'll surprise you." She laughed and handed him the board.

"Alright, Samuel." She let him take her elbow and Elliot watched as she walked an imaginary line with the young boy stopping at the obstacle and allowing him to feel its height. "The board will be right here." She told him bringing his hand up to the board that Elliot held.

"I got it." He informed her and carefully walked by himself back to the exact point Olivia had led him from.

Olivia instructed Elliot on the proper way to hold the board, "Lock you're elbows and widen you're stance or he'll knock you over." She warned. Elliot followed her instructions and watched as the young boy waited for Olivia's instruction.

"Sam, four steps, the obstacle and then the strike."

"Yes Ma'am." He barked.

"Go!" Olivia smiled seeing the young boy effortlessly run and jump over the obstacle, tucking one leg under him and extending the other kicking the board Elliot held dead in the center before landing.

"Wow! That was amazing." Elliot found himself hugging Samuel with a grin on his face and Olivia wondered if she'd ever seen something as beautiful as Elliot hugging the young boy.

"Watch Mrs. Stabler…she taught me." The boy grinned at his accomplishment.

"You know something Sam…I've never seen Mrs. Stabler do that."

Olivia's eyes widened, "Elliot, don't encourage him."

"Please Ma'am…show him, I did, you can do it." He encouraged her.

"Yeah Ma'am," Elliot smiled cockily, "Show me, please."

"I can't." Olivia laughed.

"Ma'am…we're not suppose to say 'can't' on the mat." Samuel informed her.

Olivia blushed, "You win Sam." She rolled her eyes and handed Elliot a board, "Hold it tight…wouldn't want you to fall on you're butt."

"Yeah," Elliot scoffed locking his elbows and widening his stance, "Like you're gonna knock me on my butt."

Olivia arched her brow and distanced her self from him, "You ready for this Sam." She asked and nodded to Elliot when the boy simply smiled.

"Show me what you got Liv."

Olivia focused on the board in the distance, sized up the obstacle and moved fluidly across the section, over the obstacle, one leg tucked and the other extended, breaking the board and effectively knocking Elliot on his butt.

"That was hot." Elliot grinned, "I'm not sure I've seen anything like that before."

"Yeah?" She smiled and helped him to his feet, "Maybe I could-"

"I'm still here." Samuel chimed in before things got a little too hot.

Olivia blushed then turned back to Elliot, "Let me finish his lesson and if you're good," She arched her brows suggestively, "I can give you a private lesson."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Melinda Warner placed her workbag down on the counter of her home and saw the note left behind by her husband explaining his last minute business trip to Dallas. She placed it to the side making a note to call him after she sorted through the mail. She picked up the stack and flipped through it mumbling to himself, "Bill…bill…junk…bill…junk…junk…what the hell?" she furrowed her brow and held up a heavy padded manila envelope which had her name and address written on it, but no return.

"Oh, here we go again." She shook her head and exhaled opening the envelope and seeing that the envelope contained a simple hard covered book, she looked at the book reading the title, "Mobey Dick." Confused, she pulled the ribbon that hung loosely from the book and furrowed her brows seeing a small key hanging at the end. Looking closer, she noticed the writing on the ribbon, "_Don't judge a book by its cover, it's what's on the inside that counts_."

Reaching for the phone, she dialed quickly and smiled at the sound on the other end, "Donavan, I need you back at the office."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Casey flipped through the case file knowing that she'd been researching and preparing this case for almost a year. She'd know that it could take years to prosecute but she was finding herself restless with the paperwork, wanting to spend her free time with her son, who was currently sucking happily against her breast.

Deciding it was time to examine the photos that had been dropped off at her home by an office clerk only days ago, she adjusted Addison and opened the file glancing at the pictures, not exactly sure what she was looking for and almost finding herself bored until she came across the picture that made her skin crawl. She stared at the body of an infant laying precariously face down, as she dialed the phone quickly, "Melinda, it's Casey."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I'm exhausted." Olivia murmured resting against Elliot's body on the couch.

"You really pushed you're self today…Ricky nailed ya a couple of times pretty good." He informed her stroking her recently showered hair from behind.

"Ah," She smiled, "He hit's like a girl."

"A big girl." Elliot laughed, "You've got to be sore."

"Oh yeah." She groaned, "I could really use you're hands right now."

"Yeah?"

"Please?"

"Absolutely," He smiled sitting up and allowing her to lay across the couch on her stomach, "Where are you sore at?"

"All over." She groaned into the couch.

Elliot chuckled and began kneading the muscles of her shoulders, "Can I tell you something?"

"Please."

"You were so amazing with Samuel."

"He's a good kid."

"Its more than that, he loves you…and you love him, don't you?" He asked softly.

"Foster home." She sighed.

"What?"

"He's in a foster home." She said softly.

"Why?"

"Father…raped him." She whispered, "Beat him."

"How did you find out?"

"The Foster Parents are good people, they drop him off at the gym and pick him up, I was talking to them and they recognized me from the paper…long story short they told me what happened." She whispered.

"He's amazing." Elliot assured her as he brushed her hair away from her neck and kissed the back of her neck softly, "Your amazing."

"I needed him." She spoke softly, "He taught me so much."

"Care to share?" he asked sliding her shirt up slowly and rubbing her back.

"He's blind, yet he's so talented…amazing on the mat-" She gasped feeling his hands pass over a sore spot. "Right there." She informed him.

"Here?" he asked softly rubbing the flesh.

"Yeah…he showed me that, even in darkness…it's possible to see." She shifted her weight under him and smiled, "I came home after I realized that, I came back knowing it was sink or swim for us…seems we're swimming." She smiled and kissed him gently.

Elliot smiled down at her and swore he saw a flicker in her eyes, "We're swimming."

"I read your magazine." She smiled up at him.

"Wow…you know how to change the subject."

Olivia ran her hand along his chest and made her way to his waistband, "I assure you, this is very much on the subject."

"Really?" he grinned, "Tell me more about this magazine."

"I pulled it out of you're gym back while you were showering…I noticed the page you had folded down." She grinned watching him blush and lower his head into her shoulder.

"Would you really like to do that?" She smiled.

"Yeah." He confessed, "Sounds interesting."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Task Master!" Donavan rubbed his eyes walking into her office, "What is so important that you had to drag me away from the emptiness that is my life."

"Xbox?" Melinda smiled offering a cup of coffee.

"You know it." He sighed, "Could have beat the game-"

"Yet you answered the phone." She snickered, "Look at this and tell me what you think." She said passing him the book.

"I hated Moby Dick…tell me that's not why I'm here."

"Keep looking." She sipped her coffee and watched him pull the bookmarker out of the paper.

"Well, well, well." He looked at it seriously, "Remarkable."

"What?" Melinda asked anxiously, "What is it?"

Donavan held the key up to her and smiled, "It's a key!"

"You're an ass."

"Thanks."

"Donavan!"

"Alright, man," he smiled as he read the ribbon, "sometimes you are just plain bitter."

"Thanks." She replied sarcastically then frowned when he grabbed the letter opener off of her desk, "Hey, calm down!" she raised her hands.

"Melinda," He shook his head and opened the book, "take a chill pill." He smiled and started to cut along the gummed edge of the paper that was bound to the hard cover. "I," he said proudly, as he peeled back the book paper removing a thin piece of paper that had been sealed into the book, "am a friggin genius."

"What's that?" She walked to him to look at the paper

"Hell if I know." He said casting the book to the side and unfolding the tissue like paper.

"That's an address." She furrowed her brows looking at it, "That's the lower east side isn't it?"

"I believe so." He agreed.

"Road trip?" she suggested.

"Road trip."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dialing the phone again Casey called out for Paul, "Honey, can you help me please?"

Paul peeked his head into the office just as Melinda's message machine voicemail picked up again. "Damnit!" she cursed then cringed realizing she was still holding Addison.

"What's wrong?" Paul asked softly gathering his son in his arms and kissing her gently on the forehead.

Casey sighed, "We got a big problem."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Park right there." Melinda pointed to a space.

"I think we c-"

"Donavan! Park the damn car!" she barked.

"Well" He smiled and set up the car to parallel park, "Since you asked nicely." He parked perfectly and exited the vehicle quickly depositing change into the meter and looking at the piece of paper again. "Yeah, this is it." He said looking at the bank in front of them.

"It's a bank." Melinda furrowed her brows and retrieved her ringing cell phone, "Warner," She answered, "Wow hold on…calm down….okay….WHAT!…my office in an hour…okay bye."

"Who was that?" Donovan asked.

"Casey, she has something she needs me to look at, why are we going to a bank." She asked him starring up at the building.

"The key!" he said suddenly, "Give me the key."

Melinda retrieved it from her pocket and handed it to him.

"Deposit box." He murmured.

"What?"

"That's what it has to be." He shrugged.

"Well, let's go then." She said as they made their way into the bank.

"May I help you?" An older gentleman approached them dressed in a suit and tie, hair thinning and gut overlapping.

"Yes," Melinda stepped forward, "I'd like to open my safety deposit box number 233."

"Very well," the older man smiled, "This way." He instructed them after retrieving their file.

Donavan and Melinda followed obediently and Melinda was suddenly struck with fear knowing that she would have to show some sort of I.D. to access the box. Her mind raced as she tried to figure out what in the heck she was going to do when the plump man turned to her, "You're I.D please?"

"Excuse me?" she stalled causing the man to look down at his paperwork.

"Oh my apologies, you have a password protection for anonymity…you're password please?" he waited patiently as the wheels in Melinda's mind raced.

"Oh honey," Donavan's choice of word's caused a brow to rise sharply, "I lost my book."

Melinda furrowed her brows and was about to rip into him when she realized what he was trying to tell her, "You probably left it in the car." She followed his lead and looked to the plump man again, "He gets bored easily, likes to read."

"Very well," The gentleman smiled, "You're password please."

Melinda took a deep breath and mentally crossed her fingers, "Moby Dick."

The gentleman looked down at the file and smiled retrieving his master key, "Take as long as you need Ma'am." He inserted his key and turned it waiting for her to do the same and then opened it sliding out a slender metal box from the wall.

"Thank you." Melinda smiled and waited for the man to leave.

"Open it." Donavan encouraged her, anxious to see what was in it.

Melinda opened the box and frowned seeing the three case files sitting inside. "Case files?" she mumbled.

"What?" Donavan asked watching as she withdrew the files.

"Three case files,"


	13. Chapter 13 One Way To Find Out

Divided We Fall

Chapter 13 One Way To Find Out

A/N: TheMiddleOfNoWehre…the beginning of this chapter was custom made for you sweetie.

"What are you reading?" Elliot rubbed his eyes in the morning light that filtered into their bedroom.

"Research." Olivia replied simply.

"On what?" He asked kissing her shoulder as she sat up with the comforter tucked under her arms.

Olivia smiled slyly and showed him the cover of his magazine, "I thought Men's Health Journal was just about rock climbing and mountain biking," she flipped the page, "Imagine my surprise when I found the, Fifteen New Positions To Drive Her Wild, article." She watched as Elliot blushed and laid his head on his pillow covering his face. She smiled and leaned closer to him, "And here I just thought you were a natural."

Elliot chuckled, "I can't believe you went through my gym bag…sneaky woman."

"I was looking for a towel." She defended herself with a smile and offered a kiss as a truce.

"So, tell me," Elliot smiled resting his head on his hand and talking to her, "Did you like position," he referred to the magazine, "three."

"Well," She grinned, "You didn't hear any complaints did you."

He laughed and rested his hand on her waist, "Not over all of those screams I didn't."

Olivia felt the intense blush ignite across her features causing her to hide herself into his chest, "I do not scream."

"Yeah ya do." He smiled.

"No I don't." She arched her brows to him, challenging him to counter her again.

"Admit it Liv." He smiled tipping her chin up to expose her neck to which he kissed playfully, "I make you scream." He grazed her naked breast just as she was about to protest, causing her to gasp.

"Yeah ya do." She whispered back then looked at him, "But I seem to remember a time when you _wanted_ to hear me." She reminded him.

"Oh," he grinned, "Don't get me wrong, I love to hear you." He assured her before nibbling her ear softly, but suddenly feeling a slight tense in her body. "What?"

"Hmmm?" She shook her head, "Nothing."

"Liar…spill." He told her.

Olivia rested her head on his chest and traced his abdomen muscles with her fingers, he'd gained a little bit of weight, but she didn't mind, in fact, he still looked good. "Are you bored?"

"What?"

"Are you bored?" she asked again.

"Well, we've been off work for a long time but I think between the gym, A.A meetings and little things here and there, I'm not as anxious as I use to be." He answered honestly.

"Not what I meant."

Elliot furrowed his brows at her suddenly serious tone, he raise his head and brought her so she was face to face with him as they lay on their sides, "Tell me what you meant." He encouraged her softly.

Olivia opened the magazine and stopped at an article, "I was reading this and it said that men get bored…do you get bored with me? Do you get bored with the bed routine?" She said pointing to the paragraph that suggested men do.

"Bed routine?"

"Yeah, this article says guys get bored with the same positions and places…are you bored?" she asked again.

Elliot furrowed his brows and looked at her square in the eyes, "I would never do anything to hurt you."

"Huh?" she looked at him confused.

"Can I ask _you_ something Liv?"

"As long as you're not trying to change the subject." She smiled softly.

"I'm not, I think it's relevant."

"Ask." She braced herself.

"Have you ever…Oliver," he cleared his throat not knowing exactly how to ask the question. "Um…if I were to…"

Olivia covered his lips with her index finger understanding exactly what he was trying to ask, "You want to know if I've ever had a flashback or memory of the rape while you made love to me?"

Elliot swallowed and shook his head affirming her question, "You don't have to answer I ju-"

"Elliot, I'm not going to lie to you…do you know why, I didn't want to hear myself while I made love to you?"

"Why?" he asked tucking a loose tendril of hair behind her ear.

"I didn't want to hear myself…I was scared…I was scared my voice would sound too much like it did when he was…inside of me." She lowered her gaze, for the first time verbalizing to him a pain so deep she didn't even want to acknowledge it.

"I'm so sorry Olivia…can I ask you something though?"

Olivia's voice came out thick with emotion, "Yeah."

"Does it bother you still?"

Olivia grinned and kissed his mouth through her smile, "Baby," she breathed against his lips, "I'll scream you're name any day of the week."

Elliot laughed and kissed her as she herself laughed in his embrace, "Good to know."

Olivia felt the words fall out of her mouth before she could stop them, "I was really scared though." She whispered.

"Of what?" he looked at her and saw the worry in her eyes, "Tell me, please?"

"The first time we made love…I was scared of what could happen, we see it all day at work Elliot, we know what happens to women when thy try to have sex after the fact…it worried me, and when I saw his face-"

"Wow…wait, what do you mean?" Elliot asked softly, "You never told me this."

"I didn't want you to think I was weird." She whispered.

"Liv…what happened?" he asked softly not sure how this conversation got to this point, "When you pinned my arms over my head…I couldn't really move, and it sort of…reminded me."

Elliot closed his eyes, "Olivia, I am so sorry, why didn't you tell me…oh my gosh I do that to you all the time." He rubbed his hand over his goatee in obvious regret and worry, "I'm so sorry Olivia."

"Elliot," She smiled, "It's okay now…I trust you, I know you're not gonna hurt me when I'm most vulnerable to you…it's okay, that's why I didn't tell you," she smiled softly, "I didn't want you to doubt you're self when you make love to me…promise me you wont."

Elliot smiled gently at the woman next to him that in spite of all the things she experienced, was still a woman willing to love him no matter what the cost, "I promise."

"Good…now enough with all of that, answer the question." She prodded him wiping the moisture from her eyes and stopping when he pulled her hand away from her face and wiped her tears softly, bringing her to him and kissing her mouth gently before separating.

"I'm not bored making love to you."

"Then what's with the positions articles?" she smiled, "Come on, you're not gonna hurt my feelings."

"Are _you_ bored?" He countered.

"I've got nothing to compare it too." She laughed, reminding him.

"Is that why you've never asked for anything different?"

"I've followed you're lead." She shrugged her shoulders, "I've wondered why you've never wanted anything different but figured you would tell me if you did."

"Hmm," Elliot smiled, "I'm definitely not bored with you, but I didn't want to do anything that might make you uncomfortable, the book said to let you lead."

"What?" She shook her head, "What book?"

Elliot closed his eyes realizing he'd just ratted himself out. _Crap! _"When I found out about that night," He whispered covering her abdomen and conveying the night he was talking about through his touch, "I understood why you never wanted to make love to anyone, I understood why you waited…I knew when you said you'd marry me that it would be you're first and I didn't want it to be a bad experience for you, but to be honest I didn't know what to do…so I researched and got a book."

Olivia smiled at his sensitivity toward her, "What did it say?"

"That when it came to new things, that I could suggest, but ultimately I should let you decide what you're comfortable with."

"You know what?" she smiled.

"What?"

"We read too much." She kissed him, "I've already told you El, if something really bothers me…I'll let you know."

"Will you tell me if it bothers you just a little?" he asked softly.

Olivia kissed his forehead, "Yeah…and I have an Idea."

"Really?" he grinned, "Already?"

Olivia laughed, "Actually it came out of this very magazine…it's just chalk full of helpful tips," She teased him, "Says here we should have a fantasy night to avoid boredom…which neither of us are bored." She smiled and winked at him. It was the truth, they weren't bored with one another…but they certainly weren't objecting to making a good thing even better.

"Okay," he shrugged, "What day?"

"That's just it." She nuzzled next to him and let him embrace her as she opened the magazine to him, "There's no specific day, both of us write down what we'd like to do on pieces of paper and put them into separate boxes," she giggled feeling his hand tickle her thigh, "you want to know the rest or not?"

"Sorry." He laughed, "Fill me in."

"At the beginning of the week, you draw from my box and have to fulfill that request sometime during the week, the next week I'd draw form yours, but we don't tell each other which one we've drawn…you interested?"

"Ground rules?" He asked.

"No porn…and I don't ever want to be tied up." She tried to smile but Elliot understood her request, "and you?"

"No threesomes-"

"ELLIOT!" she laughed, "that's gross"

"Ok. Seriously um…I'd prefer to never have to wear your underwear or bra and I wouldn't want us to pretend we're other people…I just want you and me Liv."

Olivia smiled, "Sound's like a plan."

Elliot arched his brows and grinned, "Where's the paper?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I thought the ADA was suppose to come last night." Donavan said stretching and yawning as he spoke.

"I called her after we got out of the bank and told her to come this morning." Melinda said handing him a cup of coffee, "stop being a wuss, you've only been up for twenty-four hours."

"You're a delightful person." Donavan smiled taking the coffee, "Anyone ever told you that?" he asked sarcastically.

"Just my husband."

"He must be a rare breed." Donavan laughed opening up another case file, "Who the hell am I looking for again?" he rubbed his eyes.

"I wrote them on the board for you, Mai Xiong, Timothy Bathlon, and the infant was Johanna Little." She informed him reading the names that belonged to the case files from the safety deposit box. "Why is my husband a dieing breed?" she asked out of curiosity as she started looking through another box of case files.

"Come on, there aren't many guys who could put up with you Doc."

"Was that a compliment or an insult?" she smirked.

"Just callin a spade a spade." He smirked.

"You seem to hold your own just fine." Melinda informed him half out of encouragement and half out of being impressed, not many people in the office went toe to toe with her.

"Really?" he asked shocked at her willingness to tell him that, "Gee, thanks."

"Yeah, well, shut up."

Donavan was just about to say something back when he saw Casey Novak in the doorway, "Good morning Mrs. Novak." He smiled, "I see you brought you're little one." He smiled standing and retrieving the car seat.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, there was a problem at Paul's lab and one thing led to another-" she rolled her eyes dropping the diaper bag and tossing herself on the seat.

"No problem," Melinda smiled, although I'm a little surprised you brought the little one to my office…kind of macabre don't you think?" she smiled.

"No choice," Casey shrugged her shoulders, "Paul had to leave early, and for some reason Elliot and Olivia aren't picking up their phones, and Alex and Robert are teaching today."

"Ah," Donavan smiled, "That's what I like to call, S.O.L"

"Yep." Casey smiled, then looked around the office, "What's with all the case files?"

"Well," Melinda frowned and exhaled, "We got another lead from Olivia and Elliot's case."

"What!" Casey furrowed her brows and leaned forward, "Have you told them yet?"

"No, not until I'm sure." She informed her.

"Well, what did you get?" Casey asked.

"These." Melinda gathered the three case files and passed them to Casey who looked over to see Donavan gently rocking the car seat with his foot while he flipped through another file.

Casey opened the first file and furrowed her brows, then quickly reached for the second.

"What is it?" Melinda asked watching her open the second and practically gasp before reaching for the third and staring at the picture as if she'd seen a ghost.

"What the hell is going on?" Casey whispered in shock looking at the photos.

"I think we'd all like to know that Casey." Melinda furrowed her brows, "You look like you just pissed your self, what's up?"

Casey reached into the diaper bag that she had thrown her own case files into that morning. She'd come to the conclusion that that there was no way she would be able to carry two bags, plus the car seat by herself. "Look at these files that were dropped by my house by a clerk a few days ago." She said standing and juggling the stack as she made her way to Melinda's desk.

"Look." She said showing the pictures of her files, "These are the photos of the bodies that had been sold out the coroner's offices."

"Okay." Melinda followed Casey's train of thought.

"These are the bodies you just showed me from the files you got out of the safety deposit box…look."

"What the hell?" Melinda asked causing Donovan to look up, "They're the same damn people."

"Yeah," Casey shook her head, "only they haven't been burned…yet, where's Isaac's case file?" Casey asked anxiously. "This is actually what I was going to show you last night." She said opening up the file and pointing to the charred remains of the infant. "Look at how the baby is laying face down, look at how the bones of the arm is."

"It's the same as the infant from the safety deposit box." Melinda acknowledge.

"And it's the same as the infant that was sold." She offered, "But how is that possible."

"Holy Shit!" Donovan suddenly spoke up causing both women to look at him as he closed the file in his hand and kneeled in front on Addison's car seat, "That's what we kept missing Doc."

"What?" Melinda stood to stare at the baby who simply stared back at the group of people in front of him.

"Rigor." Donovan said simply as he pointed to Addison.

"What?" Casey asked slightly appalled at the subject matter being directed toward her son.

"That's it…that's why the infant is in the same position in all three photos…the body had already experience rig…it's the same kid." Melinda brainstormed.

"But how is that possible?" Casey shook her head.

"When Rig sets in, it's hard to deal with in adult bodies but infants…well, you just pick them up and put them where you need to. My guess is the rig set in on the infant and the baby was sold to the underground market."

"Which means whoever bought the bodies…broke into Elliot and Olivia's house?" Casey asked.

"I don't know." Melinda shook her head, "For all we know we could be looking at separate crime scenes…we could be wrong."

"Were not." Donovan said softly, "Look at this baby." He said turning the car seat around so both Melinda and Casey could see Addison.

"Okay." Casey looked at him asking for more explanation.

Donovan stood, "I must be incredibly stupid-"

"I agree." Melinda chimed in with a smile.

"Funny." He responded practically tipping a box of files over in search of something, "I must be stupid for not noticing it before hand." He said retrieving a stack of files and going through them messily on the floor next to the car seat as Melinda and Casey watched.

"You have to work with this guy?" Casey whispered watching him move frantically through the paperwork pulling out photos from the files.

"I keep trying to figure out what I did in a former life." Melinda smirked.

"I heard that." Donavan called up to them then began to hand them the pictures, "These are all burn victims," he said showing them the photos.

"Thank you Mr. Obvious." Melinda rolled her eyes.

"Just look at the damn pictures Doc…you can kiss my feet later."

Almost shocked Melinda looked back at the photos as he explained his theory. "When a car fire ignites, one of the biggest problems for coroners and medical examiner's is that the upholstery from the seat and things such as clothing and seatbelts can literally melt into the skin."

"Again," Melinda said, "thanks for telling me what I already know."

Donavan stood in front of her, "You know, I really don't know how you're husband deals with the constant chattering that comes from you." He shook his head and walked passed her to her desk, "Could you please be quiet for two seconds while I enlighten you?" he asked retrieving the pictured of the infants charred remains and handing it to Casey.

"What do you see Mrs. Novak?" he asked smugly.

Casey Exhaled and sadly responded, "I see the burned remains of my friend's baby."

"Look again," he smiled taking the photo from her and holding it as he pointed to various parts so that both women could see, "The adult bodies, from the car accident have upholstery melted onto the bones of their backs see," he said showing the picture of each adult.

"Okay but what do the adults have to do with the baby?" Casey asked.

"Look at the baby again." He told her, "There's no evidence of melted anything on the back of the baby."

"So."

"Mrs. Novak," He looked at her squarely, "Look at your son."

Casey furrowed her brows at Donovan then looked at Addison who had since fallen asleep in his car seat. "The car seat." Casey whispered, "It would have melted all over the body."

"The body of the baby should have set in a sitting position especially after rigor, but the burned infant is laying on its stomach." Melinda pointed out.

"Alright," Casey exhaled, "I need you to run this by me in simple terms because my brain is confused."

Melinda pieced it together slowly, "The pictures of the bodies that you have, and that I was sent are the burned bodies in that car."

"But that only hold true if Isaac was taken away in a car seat." Donovan added.

Casey took the picture of the infant's charred remains and stared at it as she retrieved her phone, "Well, there's only one way to find out." She said pressing the speed dial as she stared shocked at the photo.

"Hi, Paul Novak Please…this is his wife…can you interrupt him, it's an emergency…thank you." She looked at Melinda as she waited for Paul to answer the phone, "If this is what we're thinking…some one has to tell them."

Melinda shook her head with wide eyes as she and Donovan waited for Paul to answer the phone.

"What the hell does the man do that he can't answer the phone in time?" Donovan asked on edge.

"He was in a meeting." Casey responded.

"Who pissed in your cheerios?" Melinda asked Donovan while they waited.

"Hi honey," Casey motioned to them that she had them on the line, "No, no I'm fine, I have a very important question to ask you…it might hurt but it needs to be answered…the night we were attacked, did the man leave with Isaac in a car seat?"

Melinda and Donavan starred at her trying to decipher any facial twitch as an answer and Melinda knew they were both cursing her damn prosecutors face.

"Okay…I'll explain when I get home…love you….bye." Casey stared at the photo and flipped her phone shut, pocketing it.

"Well?" Donovan asked anxiously.

Casey took a deep breath and held the photo up for both of them to see, "This isn't Isaac Stabler."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What number are you on?" Olivia asked him playfully.

"A big one." He responded shielding his paper from her view.

"Come on, tell me."

"Well, what number are you on?" He smiled and tried to take her note pad from her.

"Stop!" she laughed trying to pull it back but loosing the struggle, "Come on El," she pleaded then quieted herself in embracement as he furrowed his brows at the paper.

"Um, Liv…I have about forty things listed, and another five thousand things to write…why's you're page blank?" he asked looking at her in curiosity but seeing the look on her face, "Hey, what's wrong? I thought you wanted to do this?"

"I do." She reassured him taking her notepad back, and absently playing with the loose thread at the end of the t-shirt she'd pulled over her when Elliot brought the notepads back to the bed.

"Then?"

"Well," she shrugged, "My fantasy kind of already came true." She smiled, "I get to make love to you when ever I want."

"I was you're fantasy?" he asked clearly intrigued.

"Every day…still are." She smiled, "I just don't really know what to list…this is kinda new." She blushed.

"Come on Liv," he smiled, "You never thought about making love to me is some public place or-"

"We'd loose or jobs." She laughed.

"Only if we got caught." He smiled, "You've never even though about…maybe, a quickie in the kitchen or in the car in the middle of nowhere…or traffic." He laughed then jotted something down on his notepad.

"Did you give you're self an idea?" she grinned.

"About four." He smiled, "Fantasies are what you make them…they don't have to been on some Californian beach, they just got to be something you're willing to try."

"Well," She smiled, "From the looks of you're notepad you're willing to try a lot of stuff."

He grinned, "Woman, you have no idea."

Olivia rolled her eyes and then suddenly had a thought; she filled in the first line, then the second and third, "You doing anything today?" she asked moving to the forth.

"Just A.A tonight." He responded moving down to entry fifty-two, "Why? Got something planned?"

"I told Sam I'd take him to the Park…I'd like it if you came with us." She smiled.

"I'd love too." He responded as he continued to write.

"You'll need another pencil at the rate your going." She teased.

Elliot held up his writing utensil, "Pen."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Elliot will you take me to the slide please?" Sam asked with a wide smile.

Elliot looked at Olivia for permission to which she gladly gave with a grin, "He'll need you to climb it with him the first time so he can memorize it."

"Well then," Elliot held out his arm for Sam take hold of his elbow, "lets get to climbing that beast." He laughed.

"That's not a beast silly, Mrs. Stabler says it's called a slide." Sam informed him as he led him to the slide.

"You've never been on one?" Elliot asked a little surprised.

"No, Sir." The little boy smiled then frowned in a whisper, "Daddy said playing is not allowed."

Olivia watched the two have a conversation that she couldn't hear, but found herself surprised when she saw Elliot kneel in front of the young boy and talk to him.

"Some times Daddy's don't always do what's best for their boys, Sam." Elliot spoke softly not wanting the little boy to know that Elliot knew about his father.

Sam smiled, "I live with nice people now, and they let me come with Mrs. Stabler today, so I can learn to climb a slide."

"Well, it sounds like they really like you, Sam."

"Not as much as Mrs. Stabler does," he smiled then acted as if he were telling a secret, he cupped his hand and leaned into the direction of Elliot, "I can tell the difference." He smiled, "Are you a daddy, Elliot? Is Mrs. Stabler a mommy?"

Elliot lowered his head and fought the tears that threatened to fall, "One day we will be." He said in a thick voice.

"If I was you're son, would you like me, Elliot?" the little voice asked as he fixed the large glasses on his face.

"Sam, do you ever take you're glasses off?"

"No." he shook his head, "I'm ugly, my daddy said so."

"I don't think you're ugly, Sam." Elliot smiled and slowly reached up to the boys glasses hearing him gasp at the unannounced contact, "It's okay Sam, I won't hurt you, I promise." Elliot assured him and slowly removed the glasses revealing the most precious green eyes he'd ever seen. They were clear, but distant; beautiful. "You're a good looking man, Sam." Elliot informed him folding the glasses and putting them in his shirt pocket.

The little boys eyes widened and a grin emerged, "Really?"

"Yeah," Elliot laughed, then cupped his hand around his mouth and leaned in to tell him a secret, "And if you were my son…I'd love you."

Sam's voice grew serious as a tear fell from his young eyes and he reached out to hug Elliot. "Thank you."

Olivia watched in wonderment at exactly what was happening, she knew Sam hated to be without his glasses and she was surprised that he allowed Elliot to remove them, she was even more surprised to see Elliot crouching down and hugging the little boy. Curios she started to make her way to slide.

"Let's start climbing huh, Sam?" Elliot encouraged him.

"Let's" he smiled and allowed Elliot to cover his hands with his own as he explained to him how to climb.

"This hand goes up on the rail like this." He told him taking his hand and placing it on the rail, "Then this hand…now bring you're right foot up…good, now you're left…now do it all again." Elliot instructed as Sam made his way up the slide and he followed right behind him.

When they reached the top Elliot instructed him to sit and he sat behind him, "Hey Sam, Mrs. Stabler is waiting for you at the bottom of the slide…let's show her how fast we can go, huh?"

"Okay." The little boy nuzzled closer to Elliot who wrapped his arms around his small waist.

"Ready."

"Let's go." The little boy said anxiously.

Elliot pushed them selves off the tall slide and smiled at the laughter that came from the child he held, "Bottoms' up." Elliot informed him tightening his grasp and standing as they reached the end of the ride.

"Did you see Mrs. Stabler?" Sam asked not sure where to look until Olivia touched his shoulder and kneeled in front of him.

"I'm very proud of you Sam." She said looking into green eyes, "Nice to see you without those big glasses."

Sam grinned, "Elliot, says I'm good looking."

"Well," Olivia smiled taking Sam's hand and looking at Elliot, "He knows what he's talking about, but don't ever let him tie you're tie." She laughed and winked at Elliot.

"You don't know how to tie a tie?" Sam furrowed his brows.

"Of course I do," Elliot protested, "But Mrs. Stabler does it better is all."

"Oh," Sam smiled, "I know how to tie a tie…I can show you."

Elliot narrowed his eyes at the young boy and smiled at the innocence he witnessed, "I'd like that Sam."

"Mrs. Stabler, can we have ice cream again?" he asked taking hold of her elbow as the three walked.

"Sure, maybe Elliot would like some." She smiled.

"Elliot, want to have ice cream with us?"

"Only if I get to have double scoops." He teased kissing Olivia on the cheek.

"Mrs. Stabler I have to tell you something." Sam said as they walked along the grass.

Olivia stopped and smiled at the young boy, "Sam, please call me Olivia, we're not on the mat, we're friends and friends call each other by their names okay?"

"Okay." He grinned.

"The people I'm staying with are moving Olivia." He said stopping immediately when he heard the sound of Olivia's heel strike cement. "Is there a step?"

"No, it's the sidewalk, honey." She assured him, "Don't worry."

Sam continued to walk with them, "Daniel got a job in Utah…that's the beehive state," he informed them, then grew downcast, "They say I can't go."

"When are they leaving?" Olivia furrowed her brows irritated that they hadn't bothered to mention it when she and Elliot picked him up.

"Three days…I don't get to come to Karate anymore, cause the new people live in queens." He informed them, "I don't like them so much…they suck." He said sadly.

"Sam," Olivia said stopping him and crouching down to look at him, "No worries today okay, no sad faces."

"Okay, Olivia." He whispered then smiled turning his head slightly, "Can Elliot carry me on his shoulders and make me tall?"

"Hope on!" Elliot laughed, "You know Sam, I gave Olivia a piggy back ride just the other day."

"Elliot!"

"And she enjoyed every minute of it." He laughed finding it funny that she was blushing. Elliot waited until Sam straddled his shoulders, "Coming up." He laughed holding on to the boy and standing effortlessly knowing that the boy was entirely to small and thin for his age. "Off to the ice cream shop."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot woke up in the middle of the night from the throbbing his shoulders were producing, "Liv." He groaned. "Liv, honey wake up, please." He stretched out painfully to shake her awake softly, "Olivia, please wake up."

"Mmmm?" she mumbled.

"I'm in so much pain."

Olivia jerked her head up and looked at him through a sleepy haze, "What's wrong?" she managed to get out then cleared her throat, "Nightmare?"

"No, my shoulders and my neck are killing me." He whined.

"That's because you carried an eight year old ten blocks on you're shoulders." She smiled and rubbed her eyes looking at the clock and noticing it was only three in the morning. "You and I never sleep, have you noticed that?"

"Yep…but what I really have been noticing is the stabbing pain in my neck." He informed her.

"Hold on." She shook her head and left the room to the restroom searching for a Doans and a cup of water and returning to see him lying in his stomach with his pillow discarded to the ground in an effort to straighten out the kink in his neck. "Here take this." She smiled as he sat up and winced then took the pills and chased them down with the water before returning the cup to the nightstand.

"Thank you so much." He smiled softly then lay his head down, "Can I ask another favor?"

"Sure." She smiled.

Elliot smirked, "Can you kiss it and make it feel better?"

Olivia rolled her eyes and straddled his back rubbing his skin softly and working the muscles in his neck, "You're really cute when you're in pain you know that?" she smiled and kissed the back of his neck and his shoulders, "Feel better."

"Oh, yeah." He chuckled, "but can you keep rubbing…it's really helping."

"Sure thing." She smiled and worked on his neck in silence, moving to his right shoulder after a couple of minutes then his left, "did you fall asleep?" she asked with a smile.

"Just thinking." He responded.

"About what?"

Elliot shifted his body weight under her and grimaced trying to get comfortable.

"Want me to move?" she asked noticing his pain as he turned.

"Absolutely not." He smiled and held her hips as he looked up at her through the darkness of the room.

"What were you thinking about?" she asked interlacing her fingers into his.

Elliot kissed her hands and looked at her, "I want to adopt Samuel."


	14. Chapter 14 We're Gonna Be The Lucky Ones

Divided We Fall

Chapter 14 We're Gonna Be The Lucy Ones

No one truly knows where anger comes from, but it has been said that anger is a secondary emotion; an emotion that is used after one becomes scared or hurt, or in Olivia's case, both. She paused looking down at Elliot as she straddled his thighs with her hands interlaced with his; fully aware that anger was building to hide the pain she was experiencing.

"What the hell do you mean, you want to adopt Samuel?" she managed in a harsh whisper.

"Olivia," he wrapped his hands around her waist, "hear me out."

"No!" she separated her hands from him and tried to pry his hands off of her, "Let me go Elliot."

Calmly, he replied "No," as he tightened his embrace, "Olivia, please just listen."

"Listen?" she asked incredulously fighting to get his hands from around her waist, "Listen to what? How you want to replace my son!"

Shocked by her accusation, he momentarily loosened his grip on her waist to which she took immediate advantage of and fled into the darkness of the house. "Olivia!" he called after her as he got out of the bed and followed turning on lights as he moved through the house. Seeing her grab her keys from the counter and move to walk out the door he raced to close the distance between the two just as she stepped out onto the porch.

"Don't touch me Elliot." She warned him feeling his arms wrap around her body effectively pinning her arms to her side.

"I just want you to listen Olivia." He told her calmly.

"I don't want to listen!" she yelled, "I don't want to know that you're already looking to replace Isaac!" she yelled trying to squirm free and finding it a precarious situation. "Let me go Damnit!"

"NO!" Elliot barked out of frustration, "Not until you agree to listen to me." He informed her tightening his embrace unconsciously in an effort to keep her with him.

"El," she whispered painfully, "you're hurting me."

The release was immediate, he wasn't trying to hurt her, he just wanted her to hear him out, "Please look at me Olivia." He pleaded softly as he gently rested his hands on her shoulders, feeling the slight movements that indicated she was crying. "Please look at me." He whispered again but she held her ground with her body away from him, her in her pajama's him in his boxers, front door still wide open.

Olivia shook her head softly and surprised him when she moved his hands from her shoulders to her waist, "I can't." she whispered.

"What can't you do, Liv?" He asked softly while he wrapped her delicately into his embrace and rested his chin on her shoulder so they were cheek-to-cheek, "Tell me." He instructed knowing that the position with which he held her was comforting to her; it allowed him to hold her in a vulnerability that she would never admit she had, without him being able to see it.

The whisper from her lips would have been missed had he not been waiting for her reply, "I can't look at you, Elliot."

"Can you tell me why?" he asked placing a gentle kiss on her cheek, "Let me look at you."

"Because," she croaked and finally turned in his embrace to face him, "Then you'll know…that I want Samuel too." She whispered as her tears fell.

Elliot embraced her waist softly and kissed the wet path of her tears before placing a lingering kiss on the corner of her mouth, "Thank you for looking at me." He whispered, "Come inside with me so we can talk, please?"

Olivia rested her hands on his chest before taking her mouth to his and kissing him with a need to be felt, a need to be understood before separating and bowing her head, "I'm so confused." She confessed, "I don't know what to do."

Elliot tipped her chin up to him and smiled, "So, we'll go inside, have some coffee, and get you…unconfused."

"I'm sorry I yelled…I don't know if I'll ever get that under control." She apologized sheepishly.

"We'll just call it practice." He smiled, "Let's go inside, it's cold." He kissed her forehead and led her back into the safety of their home, closing the door gently as they walked in.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Casey found herself wide wake, unable to sleep, and overwhelmed with a burden she would sell everything she had, give up all that she valued, to get rid of. She was grateful that Paul had picked Addison up from Warner's office after his meeting, but she'd come home well after he'd fallen asleep and didn't want to wake him.

She stared at the bottle of Smirnoff contemplating the effect it would have on her misery, the release it would give her. She wasn't one to drink, but she needed to forget that she was the cause of so much pain to another mother who was now childless, she needed to forget that she'd been blessed with the beauty of precious son, while her best friend had her blessing savagely ripped from her life.

There was no conclusive evidence that the body of the charred infant wasn't Isaac, but Casey knew that it wasn't, and she wondered if perhaps deep down inside, Olivia suspected that, maybe, just maybe, her son was still out there, lonely and cold, in desperate need of his mothers loving embrace.

Balancing the small glass in one hand and the bottle in the other, she silently sold her self to the liquid devil she knew had to be at least an acquaintance to the satanic devil that would welcome her into hell for causing such a disaster. She filled the glass with the liquid morphine in the loneliness of her kitchen praying to God, if he would listen to such a despicable woman, to stop her from drinking the clear darkness that she held to her lips. She needed to connect to something, and right now, the connection of her lips to the glass was all that she knew could comfort her.

Until her plea was answered. Feeling Paul's hand wrap around her waist while he gently took the glass out of her hand, tonight he was her saving grace, "We talk, we don't drink." He whispered softly pouring the contents of the glass into the sink and draining the bottle of its contents. Turning her around to face him he stopped her from wiping her tears, "Leave them, Casey…what's wr-"

She needed a connection, something other than the black abyss she'd fallen into, she needed light, she needed him inside of her to push out the darkness that consumed her and threatened to kill her as methodically as possible. In a move of sheer desperation and need for him to take away the weight that constricted her she kissed him, as deeply and as hard as she could manage for the soul purpose of trying to become him, trying to become someone who wasn't her.

In a moment of clarity he understood her, understood her mouth's communication but still pulled away panting, "The doctor?"

Casey slid his shirt up and over his head, "I know my body, I'm ready, I need you." She pleaded taking him back to her lips and ravishing his mouth with a complete desperation to obliterate her own heart, to make it cease it's painful rhythm, to make it stop her existence.

The pain from their lips separation was as brief as a vapor of breath as she pulled her own shirt off, but it was as lonely as she thought Isaac was. She took him back immediately, took him to taste him, to seek out the salve only he could offer her. Lost in the feeling of his lips against hers, traveling down the expanse of her neck, she was oblivious to the fact that he was carrying her, carrying her with her legs tightly wrapped around his waist still needing to become one with him because at that moment, he was all she wanted to know, all she wanted to have inside her. She needed the darkness out; she needed the pain away, the burden to be lifted and freedom to be granted.

As he laid her gently onto the safety of their disheveled comforter she felt her body sink, and she prayed to anything that was listening that she would keep sinking into oblivion. She blinked back the pain that threatened to show itself as Paul dropped his boxers to the floor and gently unbuckled her pants and slid them down her body, taking her panties in the next movement and exposing her as the beautiful creature he knew she doubted herself to be in that moment.

She felt unworthy to experience the purity of his flesh against the evilness of her own, but as he crawled over her, as his body warmed her own and his hands released her swollen breast from the confines of fabric, she found comfort in his tender domination of her frame, comfort in his hips against her body as he kissed her gently from her arching neck down between her taut and perfect breasts moving still further to her naval, moving west to the curvature of her waist and gently encouraging her to lay on her side.

He grazed his finger tips over her back, once so strong, now terrified, and softly kissed the footsteps of a daughter he never held, it was then that he wondered if hell was simply that…knowing you cold have loved…if only. He heard the sob come from deep within her and he pulled her body flush against his kissing her cheek from behind before gently pulling her leg back and over his thigh widening the cradle of her thighs as his chest meshed with her back.

He grazed her core gently knowing she was ready and in complete need. He held her thigh gently in place as another sobbed ripped through the air. He kissed her cheek gently, "Whatever it is Casey, I'm going to make you forget it, I'm going to make you understand how much you're loved."

Her voice cracked under his declaration, "Please make me forget."

He caressed her thigh holding it over his and entered her gently feeling the tight security of his wife that her injuries forced him to be without, the comfort of being completely still, sheathed in only her. Her exhalation as he rested within her brought forth his own as he kissed her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her, moving almost unnoticeably at first until a desperate moan guised as passion escaped her lips.

He withdrew against her protest as she reached back to caress his face, "No."

"I'm not going anywhere." He whispered pushing back in, pushing out the darkness and offering her light, "I'm inside you Casey, and you're phenomenal." He whispered, "Tell me what you need to make the hurt go away." He thrust gently into her again, "Tell me and I'll make you forget." He kissed her again feeling him self stretch her walls, feeling her body protect his.

"Make love to me," she moaned caressing the curve of his derriere and pulling him closer, deeper inside of her, "Make me forget…me." She gasped at the deeper sensation of him inside her.

He moved slightly faster as he grazed her breast and caused her to whimper at the contact, "Please more." She pleaded contracting her muscles over him as he moved out, in an effort to keep her self filled with only him, no room for darkness, if he is there within her.

He invaded her softly watching her face calm in a passion he'd missed seeing from her. He felt her hand reach behind him as he moved faster; she trailed over the back of his thigh until she stroked the tenderness of his of his swollen features. He gasped at the sensation and bit gently into her shoulder causing her to whimper and dig her nails into the back of his thigh to which he groaned against her shoulder.

"More," she groaned, "So much more, please?"

Faster he moved, holding her thigh and plummeting harder into he,r hearing her gasp as he sunk farther into her pain, taking small amounts of it away each time he withdrew, replacing hit with peace as he pushed back in, "Casey." He whispered wanting her to hear her own name, wanting her to hear the value with which he coated the precious word, "Come with me sweet heart, scream with me."

Casey looked down, seeing him move within her, and felt her body heat rise at the sight of her husband falling into her, depositing affirmation and love and taking with him burden and sorrow. She moaned covering his wondering hand with her own and lead him to her exposed heat, hooking her foot around the back of his calf as they stroked her together. She whimpered at his contact, moaned at the sensations of his thrusts and strokes, "I'm coming." She panted in hopes he would come with her.

"Come Casey." He told her thrusting again, "It's okay." He assured her moving faster knowing she would come first, and hearing her scream his name in the confines of their bedroom as she held firmly to the back of his stoking arm. The whimpers were all she could manage as he continued the thrusts into her body faster calling her name with each invasion.

The whimpers turned into screams as her second orgasm pushed out any trace of darkness there might have been allowing him to find his own orgasm as her body clamped down around him and he gave one final thrust releasing the last bit of light he had to offer before her burdens became his own.

He panted holding her sweaty body against his own knowing that if he could sell his soul to Satan himself to make her smile again, he would without a seconds hesitation. He started to withdraw when she stopped him, "No…not until you have to, please?"

He held her, resting his softening erection within until he slipped away from her safety and gently gave her control of her thigh again. She turned to him, tears streaming her flush face and placed a lingering kiss over his lips, sobbing against him when he pulled her close and draped a leg over her slender frame. "I love you Casey…tell me what's bothering you."

Casey kissed him again nuzzled into the safety of his arms as closely as possible, "I need to talk to you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia took a sip of the chocolate Elliot had given her before returning it to the coffee table and nuzzeling into the safety of his body, "I'm sorry I yelled."

"You already apologized." He reminded her rubbing her arm lightly with his fingertip, "Can I ask why you wouldn't want to adopt Sam?"

"That's a huge commitment, Elliot." She said raising her head to look at him from his chest, "I'm not even suppose to be as close to him as I am, I'm his instructor, nothing more, nothing less."

"That's not true." He voided her comment immediately, "I see the way you interact with him…you give him private lessons, why?"

"Kid's can be harsh, you know that Elliot."

"You want to protect him?"

"Of course." She told him sliding her hand under his shirt for warmth as she lay next to him.

"You love him?"

Olivia sighed, "I didn't know I did until he told me he couldn't come back…my heart broke." She whispered.

"He loves you Olivia, he looks up to you." Elliot informed her, "We have to opportunity to open our home to him.

"Elliot," she sat up and looked him, frustration swimming in her forming tears, "I don't want _someone else's_ son…I want _mine_." She whispered.

Elliot furrowed his brows at the pain that exuded from her, at the complete miscommunication between them, he pull her gently back into his chest and wrapped his hands around her, "Olivia, if we open our home and our hearts to him…that doesn't mean were replacing Isaac…it just means we're choosing to love in spite of a loss."

"I don't know if I can give him the love he needs." She whispered honestly.

"I believe you can." He tipped her chin up to look down at her, "What if Sam is a gift from God…what if you crossed paths with Sam because God knew he needed _us_…what if none of this is about us, what if its about Sam right now?"

Olivia took his words in and digested them carefully, "I'm not ready to pack up Isaac's room," she whispered.

"Okay," he kissed the crown of her head, "I can have Frankie give us an estimate on converting the garage into living space."

"He's blind Elliot." She reminded him.

Elliot laughed, "He'll surprise you." He tickeled her softly knowing that when she heard her own words used against her it made more of an impact.

"What happens when we go back to work?" she reminded him, "It's in two months."

"Well," He exhaled, "He's eight, he's in school, which means Mrs. Reynoso would take him for only a couple of hours each day…and we'll make arrangements for late night call in's and weekend work."

"You really want this don't you?" She asked him softly staring at him, only inches away searching his face.

"I do." He assured her, "He's a boy who's lost his parents, we're parent's who's lost our boy, we have a chance to make a difference here Olivia."

"We don't know anything about raising a special needs child and it's gonna be rougher with the abuse." She reminded him.

"You seemed to handle it pretty well at the gym." He smiled, "Look, we didn't know too much about raising an infant and I think we handled Isaac pretty well…we're fast learners and as much as you want to hide it Liv," he smiled resting his hand over her heart, "You have a huge heart, capable of trumping any special need or any scar of abuse."

"Can I be honest?" she asked him still facing him, still noting the seriousness with which he spoke.

"Please." He smiled in encouragement.

"I'm not exactly sure about adopting him right out of the gates," she confessed seriously, then smiled as she moved closer to his lips, "but I think I could handle being a foster parent…seeing if we can do it…at least until we start work again."

Elliot grinned, "It's a start."

Olivia kissed him softly, "Promise me something?"

"Anything."

"Don't forget our son." She whispered.

Elliot brushed her bangs away from her face, "Never." He assured her letting her rest over his body again.

"Elliot?" he voice was more buoyant.

"Yeah, Honey?"

"How the hell do we go about doing this?"

Elliot laughed at her bluntness, "I have no idea."

"Alex knows someone in family court, wanna go talk to her?"

"Right now?" he asked with a laugh.

"Only if you want her to shoot you…it's way too early."

"Tomorrow we'll call her?" He asked with a smile.

"Tomorrow, but right now, I'm going back to sleep." She smiled sitting up and taking his hand, "Come to bed with me?"

"Absolutely."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey!" Alex stood from the small café table, "You two look so good!" she smiled embracing them each warmly, "Haven't seen you for a while."

"Sorry," Olivia blushed, "We've been trying to lay low, have fun together before we go back to the daily grind of work."

"Yep," Elliot grinned, "I'm hogging Olivia all to myself these days."

"Well," Alex smiled, "That's good to know." She motioned for them to sit, "Please, tell me what you wanted to see me for."

Olivia looked at Elliot and exhaled turning back to Alex who smiled, "That serious huh?"

"Alex," Elliot rested his hand on Olivia's thigh, "Do you still have friends in family court?"

"Friends? Hell, I'm friends with half the judges why?" she smiled taking a sip of coffee.

"Well," Elliot smiled, "Liv and I want to become foster parents."

"You don't need a lawyer for that." She informed them, "Just apply." She looked at them and saw their smiles, "What's with the goofy grins?"

Olivia leaned forward, "We have a specific child in mind, he's suppose to be moving homes in two days, and we would rather he came to stay with us." She smiled.

Alex furrowed her brows and then grinned, "You want to adopt him don't you?"

"Well," Elliot started to defend their position until Olivia cut him off with a surprising announcement.

"Yes, we do." She smiled taking hold of Elliot's hand on her thigh, "But we want to start slow and see if he'll even like being with us…it's about what _he_ needs, not about what we want."

"Wow." Alex smiled and retrieved her cell phone, "I'm happy for both of you." She smiled. It was good to see the two of them smiling those goofy grins that they reserved only for one another. She dialed the phone quickly, "What's the name of the boy?"

"Samuel Wilson." Olivia informed her then thought something more personal to herself_, Samuel Stabler_. She found her self smiling at her own thought and listened carefully to Alex as she talked to her family court connection and then after several minutes hung up the phone.

"Well?" Elliot asked anxiously, "What happened?"

"Here's the situation." Alex smiled, "You're lucky you stepped in when you did because the family he was assigned to go to decided he would be too much of a burden and declined to take him he would have been placed in an orphanage…seems you two are his savior's at the moment."

"What do we do?" Olivia asked eagerly, "How do we get him home, with us?"

"Tell us Alex." Elliot smiled.

"Calm down guys." She smiled, "I haven't seen you this happy in a long time…it's good to see."

"Alex! Come on." Olivia prodded with a grin, "You're killin' us here."

"Alright," she tore a piece of paper from her planner, "You'll need to take proof of employment and tax returns, as well as references…which I've already taken care of," She smiled and winked at them, "to this address, ask for Christoff, he's Sam's case worker."

"When can he come home?" Olivia asked taking the paper from her and folding it before handing to Elliot to pocket.

"Well, I used my name, Cragen's and Casey's as you're references,-"

"Alex!" Olivia grinned, "Sneaky!"

"Ah," She shrugged, "I did it all the time with Cragen and Casey knows it's done daily among attorney's, I'll let them know." She assured them.

"What else?" Elliot asked.

" You don't need to wait on the background check because you're both cops…I'm guessing if you haul you're butts over there in the next thirty minutes, you'll get him tonight."

"Are you serious?" Elliot was stunned, "That's fast."

"Elliot," Alex smiled, "Do you know how many kids are in the system? There aren't enough foster parents to go around…good ones come up like you two and they'll trip over each other to place a child with you."

"Seems to good to be true." Olivia smiled standing to her feet and pushing her chair in as Elliot did the same.

"Olivia," Alex smiled and rubbed her arm passing along comfort, "From what they were telling me, the kid has had it rough, he'll be one lucky little boy if they do assign him to you."

Olivia smiled up at Elliot, "I think we're gonna be the lucky ones."


	15. Chapter 15 You Got The Shorts, Right?

Divided We Fall

Chapter 15 You Got The Shorts Right

Paul stood in front of the front door to his home knowing that the conversation that would take place was probably going to be draining for Casey. She had in fact fallen asleep before she could tell Paul what she wanted and he simply didn't have the heart to wake her. Knowing that he would be at work for only a short while to oversee the conclusion of a project, he'd taken breast milk from the refrigerator and packed the diaper bag, taking his son with him so she could rest and gather her thoughts.

The attention he got from people in the office made him feel proud to be Addison's father, he was surprised at how happy people were to hold him and keep and eye on him while Paul worked in the lab momentarily, but then he also knew he had a son who was cute, a son, who, dare he start to believe, looked like him?

Paul took a deep breath and inserted the key, opening the door slowly and negotiating the car seat into the house. Looking at his watch he was home a little later than he'd wanted to be and figured she would be taking a nap. He walked into the living room to find that his hypothesis was correct and she was sprawled out on her belly lying on the couch, arm hanging off the side, just grazing the carpet.

He placed his sleeping son, still strapped into the car seat, next to the smaller sofa and kneeled in front of Casey placing his lips against hers and feeling her stir as she woke, "Hey." He smiled.

"Hi." She spoke groggily looking up at him and touching his chest; "I'm so sorry I fell asleep on you last night."

Paul laughed as she sat up, "Nothing to be sorry for, you were tired, you needed rest."

Casey raised her brows and grinned, "You wore me out."

"I'm gonna go ahead and say thank you to that." He laughed and sat next to her, "Did you rest today?"

"Yep." She exhaled, "But I still feel miserable…thank you for taking Addison today, I really needed to be alone for awhile, how was he?"

"Fantastic…I'm glad you had pumped milk though, otherwise I don't think I could have taken him…he eats way to much."

"Just like his father."

Paul grinned, "I like it when you say that."

"Yeah?" Casey looked at him and smiled, "I'm glad you do because it's the truth."

"Casey?" Paul spoke her name softly letting her rest against his chest, "Are you gonna tell me what you wanted to last night?"

Casey exhaled and laced her fingers with his, "I had a big break in the research I was doing."

"Okay." He kissed the top of her head, "But why did you call me and ask about Isaac?"

"Well," Casey sat up and turned to face him, "It seems that Isaac…is the big break."

"What?" Paul looked at her confused,

"What if I told you…that I don't think Isaac is dead?" she whispered.

"Casey…I saw him being taken away." He shook his head, "They have pictures of the accident, and they said no one survived."

"Paul, I think that the bodies that were sold, the bodies that I'm researching are the bodies that were burned in that car." She whispered.

Shocked, he starred at her for a moment, "If those bodies aren't the remains of Isaac's kidnappers or Isaac then-"

"He's still alive."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hello," Olivia smiled at the receptionist, "We're here to see Christoff, Alex Gray sent us."

"Ah, the Wilson boy right?" The older woman smiled, "Such a precious little boy from what Christoff tells me." She informed them pulling a packet of papers from a filing drawer next to her, "You must be the Stabler's?"

"Yes Ma'am," Elliot smiled, "I'm Elliot and this is my wife Olivia." He introduced them selves resting his hand on the small of Olivia's back, a comforting act just to let her know he wanted to touch her.

"I'm Elaine," She smiled through her large glasses, "We're you able to get all the paperwork together in time?"

"Our tax guy should have faxed our returns over and Alex took care of the references." Olivia informed her.

"Oh yes," Elaine smiled, "You both have background checks on file, so there's no need for that," She gathered up more information from her desk and pulled papers from the printer, "Go ahead and fill these forms out and I'll let Christoff know you're here."

"Can we take Sam home tonight?" Olivia asked bluntly taking the stack of papers from the woman.

"Well," Elaine looked at the two anxious people in front of her, "Sam has been a hard boy to place…no one has ever come in actually asking for him, I think that will be a plus for you two, but I'm sorry, Christoff is the one that decides his placement," The older woman motioned for them to come closer to her, "But just between you me and the fence post, Christoff's phone has been ringing off the hook with people bragging on you two."

"Excuse me?" Olivia asked slightly confused, knowing that so far Alex was the only one that knew.

"Yep, I transferred a call from a Captain Cragen then about five minutes later a Detective Munch and another man named after some type of fish…nice gentleman though, Mrs. Gray called and talked to Christoff for several minutes just before you two arrived."

"Wow," Elliot turned to Olivia, "So much for telling them our selves huh?" he smiled.

"I guess we don't have to worry if they're pulling for us." She smiled, "Thank you Elaine."

"I'll get Christoff, it will be just a few minutes, make your self comfortable." She instructed them nodding to the chairs in the waiting area.

"Geez," Olivia shook her head, "How many trees did they take out for all of these forms?"

"Say good bye to the Sierra Nevada's," Elliot grinned and handed her a pen from his shirt pocket. "You surprised me you know?"

"How's that?" She smiled starting at the top of the form, and printing her last name first, first name last.

"You said you wanted to _adopt_ him." He smiled, "You asked when we could bring him _home_."

Olivia paused reverting to the conversation she had with Alex, "I guess I did." She smiled, "Do you think Sam will want to come with us?"

"Yep." Elliot smiled flipping the page and reading the question to himself then furrowing his brow, "Some of the questions these people come up with…nosey."

"Yeah they are." She whispered softly looking at the third page and stopping.

"What?" Elliot asked flipping his packet to the corresponding page and realizing that the paper requested information related to her father.

Olivia exhaled, "Maybe we shouldn't do this."

"Liv, we can't run because they're asking tough questions, all you have to write is 'Deceased',"

"I suppose that's the truth." She whispered softly and continued writing. Both Elliot and Olivia completed the necessary information and found them selves waiting impatiently for Christoff to walk into the waiting room and call them. The seconds turned into minutes and the minutes faded into a solid hour before he came out of the office and called for them.

"Mr. And Mrs. Stabler, I presume?"

"Yes." Olivia smiled and stood to her feet, "This is my husband Elliot."

"Well then, come into my office please, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, my phone has been ringing off the hook about you two."

"Really?" Elliot asked again.

"Yep." Christoff smiled motioning them to take a seat in his office. "Apparently," he lowered himself into a chair and set behind a pile of files that made Olivia wonder just how many children were stuck in the system, although she already knew that the answer was simply, too many. "there are a whole lot of people who think you two are very capable of providing a good home life from Sam."

"Why do I since there is a but coming?" Elliot asked covering Olivia's hand with his own.

"Well, I do have a rather serious question to pose to you both." Christoff's hazel eyes darkened waiting for their response.

"Which would be what exactly?" Olivia furrowed her brows not quite wanting to accept the fact that she'd come so close to being able to open their home to Sam, only to have it not come to fruition.

"How much do you two really know about Sam's life?"

"We know he needs a home." Elliot responded frankly.

"Yes he does, but the reason no one has taken him is because of the circumstances that surround him."

"Were willing to help him through his circumstances if you're willing to give us a chance." Olivia assured him.

"Do you know anything about raising a child who is blind?" Christoff asked searching for a specific file.

"No, but I've worked with him for months, and I know we can handle it." Olivia defended their position.

"We also have strong support from friends." Elliot offered.

"I understand all of that Mr. Stabler." Christoff smiled softly, "but let me share something with you, may I?"

"Please." Olivia gripped Elliot's hand.

"Sam came to us when he was seven, his father brutally beat him…_after _he raped him. He's scared to sleep by himself, wakes up in the middle of the night, is afraid of most men and the list goes on and on, he'll go weeks without eating, wets the bed…you name it, Sam has more issues than the New York post."

"Well, then, I suppose that just makes for an interesting story." Elliot smiled, "My wife and I are committed to that young man, and I can assure you that he's neither afraid of me nor my wife, and I may not know about raising a child that is blind, but I know what it's like to loose your sight, even temporarily, and it's one of the loneliness places you can be in,"

Olivia looked at Elliot with the last sentence he spoke and realized something she hadn't previously, while she had thought he was simply a stubborn individual she never thought that he felt alone, she made a mental note to ask him about it later as she continued to listen.

"I don't want Sam to be alone, we're just asking for a chance." Elliot lowered his voice, "Just a chance…that can't hurt."

Christoff sat back in his chair and rubbed his beard as he exhaled and adjusted his glasses, "I'm going to allow a ninety day period for Sam to reside with you, and I'll review the situation once that ninety day period is over."

Olivia and Elliot smiled at one another both completely happy with the decision, "When can we pick him up?" Elliot asked anxiously.

"Well," Christoff looked at his watch and pulled out a large manila envelope, "If you two beat feet back to you're home, I'll pick him up and bring him to you tonight, we need to look over your home ectera, but in the meantime, here is a copy of his file." He smiled and handed the thick enveloped over to Elliot.

"Well," Olivia stood to her feet and smiled at Elliot, "We should go get Sam a welcome home present."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Somebody has to tell Olivia and Elliot." Paul stated the obvious.

"What are we suppose to say, Paul?" She asked in frustration, "Hey Liv, just wanted to let you know that your son isn't really dead and you've just lived through hell for nothing?"

"You know what I mean." Paul whispered still in shock with Casey's bombshell.

"I know, Honey…I just don't know what to do."

Paul looked at Casey and tilted his head, "Case, if Isaac isn't in that coffin…then who is?"

"Apparently, Johanna Little." She pinched her nose, "Olivia is gonna die when we break this to her…what if she never finds Isaac? It's got to be worse not knowing where he is, if he's okay, lonely, hungry co-"

"Casey," He silenced her concerns, "You've got to go to the police,"

"Paul" She arched her brows, "Elliot and Olivia are the police…what the hell am I suppose to do?"

Paul exhaled, "Have you and Melinda thought about going to Cragen?"

"What's he gonna do?" Casey shook her head, "The only way we can be sure that Isaac isn't the infant in the coffin is to exhume that body…do you want to be the one to have to ask Olivia that?"

"No, I don't want to hurt her or Elliot, but there's got to be some way around that Casey…maybe Cragen can help."

"Wait." Casey suddenly sat up, the look on her face indicating she was on to something, "Paul, that's it." She stood and walked to her office down the hallway.

"What's it?" he asked walking in after her to find her scanning the spines of the law encyclopedias behind the desk.

"In 1993, there was a case where a funeral home inadvertently buried the wrong body in the wrong casket." She informed him pulling out her selection and flipping quickly through the pages, "Right here." She pointed to the passage and read it to herself, shaking her head, as she comprehended the print. "Paul," she closed the book and picked up the phone from her desk dialing quickly, "It's a long shot, but I think we might be able to argue this and win an exhumation without involving the Stabler's."

"How-" he asked just as she started speaking on the phone.

"Melinda, it's Casey…yeah I'm exhausted…listen can you get Cragen to come to my house with you…well, I think I found a way to get Isaac's grave exhumed."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Do you think he's going to like this?" Elliot asked Olivia as they waited patiently at their home for Samuel.

"He likes to listen to his walkman at the gym," She shrugged her shoulders, "and I know he said he would like to be able to see the movie, I think he'll like listening to the audio book." She smiled and rested her head against his shoulder as thy sat on the couch, "This is really happening isn't it?"

"I can't believe it is." Elliot smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, "I can't wait for him, this is killing me."

"Me too." Olivia grinned and looked at him, "Thanks for convincing me to do this."

"I think we're gonna be glad we did this Liv.'

Olivia looked at him and smiled softly as she wrapped her hands around his neck, "You know what this means don't you?"

"No. What?" he whispered leaning closer to her lips.

"We can't make love whenever we want to…we're gonna have to learn how to be discreet." She laughed.

"Well, then." Elliot kissed her mouth playfully, "We're gonna have to learn how to tame those yelps of yours."

Before she could respond the doorbell rang and they froze starring at one another. "This is it Liv."

"This is it." She shook her head and smiled; kissing him softly and separating with a grin, "Let's get him in here."

They stood together and walked slowly to the door, not out of dread but out of a reverence for knowing that a new chapter in their life was starting. Elliot opened the door to see Christoff standing in front of them with his hand on Sam's shoulder. "Hello Mr. And Mrs. Stabler," He shook their hands, "Say hello Sam." He instructed.

"These are my friends Christoff," Sam informed him as he reached out his hand and felt for Elliot's trousers and smiled, "This is Elliot." He moved his other hand further out until it touched the smoothness of Olivia's skin, "And this is Olivia."

"Hi Sam!" Olivia grinned crouching down in front of him, "How ya doing buddy?"

"I'm real happy to be here." He grinned shaking his head, "Can Elliot and I build something together?" he asked innocently.

Elliot crouched down next to Olivia, "What would you like to build?"

Sam shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know, I don't know how to build, but I could learn if you teach me."

"Well, then," Elliot took Sam's hand into his own and shook it, "Sounds like a deal."

Sam beamed, "Cool!"

Olivia stood and addressed Christoff, "You said you needed to take a look at the house?"

Christoff smiled compassionately, "You know what? I think I've seen all I need to." He retrieved a card from his shirt, "Call me if you need anything or have questions."

"We will." Olivia smiled, "Oh, what about his things?"

"Well, perhaps Mr. Stabler could help me with his suitcase?"

Elliot stood back up, "Absolutely," he answered, "Sam, I'll be right back, Olivia will be with you okay?"

"Okay."

"Come on Sam," Olivia smiled and led his hand to her elbow, "Let me show you the house okay?"

"Do you have animals?" Sam asked as they walked into the kitchen.

"No," Olivia responded sadly, "We do have a fish…would you like an animal?"

"Tiger?" he grinned.

"Not exactly," She smiled, "This is me and Elliot's room." She said stopping at the door, "I'll make you a deal young man." She laughed "If you always knock on our door when it's closed…then when we get you're room set up, we'll always knock on yours okay?"

"Deal." He shook his head, "Bathroom?" he asked.

"That's this door right here." She led him across the hall and allowed him to feel around in the bathroom so he was acquainted with the lay out. "Comfortable with it, Sam?"

"Yes." He nodded, "Olivia?" he bowed his head.

"Yeah, Honey?" She furrowed her brows and kneeled in front of him, "What is it sweetheart?" She asked tipping his chin up fully aware he couldn't see her but looking at him just the same.

Sam's voice broke as he whispered, "No body wanted me, did they?"

Olivia's heart broke knowing that the young boy was well beyond his years in understanding, "That's not true Sam," she smiled. While it was technically true, she saw no reason to let him know that. Instead she gave her own version of what happened, "There were so many people who wanted you…but Elliot and I wanted you more, that's all."

Sam smiled and shook his head, "Where's Elliot?"

Olivia wiped a tear that she hadn't realized she'd let fall, "I don't know honey, lets go look for him." She offered leading his hand to her elbow, and finding herself surprised when he didn't take it.

"I can do it, alone." He asserted his independence causing her to smile, "Alright, I'm right behind you if you need help."

Sam walked out of the bathroom and cautiously hung a right feeling his way along the wall as he walked, "Elliot." He called out as he reached the end of the hall.

Elliot placed a small rolling suitcase down on the floor and smiled seeing the young boy navigating the house by himself, "I'm three steps forward and one step left, Sam." He called to him, "I have something for you." He informed him taking the present they'd bought him from the counter.

"For me?" Sam stopped and smiled, "Really?"

"Yep." Olivia watched as he made his way cautiously to Elliot and stopped when Elliot touched his shoulder. "We wanted you to have something to listen to, because I know you like you're walkman." She informed him taking his hand and leading him to the couch, "Go ahead and sit down and Elliot will hand it to you."

"A present!" The boy smiled adjusting his legs to get on the couch just as Elliot sat the package on his lap.

"A present just for you buddy." Elliot smiled, "Go ahead and open it."

Elliot and Olivia sat on either side of him as he tore the wrapping paper off and ran his hands over the package surprising them both, "Is this a talking tape?" he smiled, "I like to read, so I listen to the books, is this a talking tape?" he said again.

"Yep, Chronicles of Narnia," Elliot informed him.

"Yes!" he shouted in appreciation, "I can't wait." He smiled, and then grew serious. "Elliot?"

"Yep?"

"Can I see what you look like?" Elliot narrowed his eyes at the tenderness in the question, "Sure." He whispered and scooted closer to the little boy as the tiny hands caressed his face.

Sam laughed, "What is this? It tickles." He asked with his hand on Elliot's facial hair.

"It's called a goatee," Elliot informed him and gave him a quick tickle, "Olivia really likes guys with goatees."

"El!" she scolded him and rolled her eyes observing Sam caress his face.

"You have a big nose." The little boy informed him, "you're strong." He whispered and lowered his hands.

"Olivia?" Sam diverted his attention to her.

"Yeah?"

"Can I feel what you look like?"

"Sure honey." She whispered, not sure what to expect, after all, she rather liked Elliot's nose.

Olivia felt the warmth of his small hands over her cheeks making their way past her lips and chin and over her eyes. She was curious what he was thinking as his eyebrows furrowed, and he lowered his hands, "What is it Sam?"

"You're really pretty." He smiled, "You don't have a big nose."

Olivia laughed hysterically at the boy's remark as Elliot feigned hurt, "I'll tell you what Sam," Olivia wiped the moisture form her eyes that the laughter caused, "How about Elliot helps you with you're pajama's and you're new book and I'll start making us dinner, sound like a plan?"

"Grilled Cheese?" he smiled.

Olivia looked at Elliot to make sure he was fine with the Sam's selection and when he nodded she smiled and ran her hand over his blond hair, "Grilled cheese it is."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot stared down at the young boy as he slept on the smaller of the two couches, the walkman still in his ears. He smiled feeling Olivia's arms around his waist, "He's dead to the world." She whispered.

"Yeah, what did you put in his grilled cheese?" Elliot teased and started to pull the cushions off of the larger couch and pull the hidabed out.

"He really liked his book." Olivia smiled taking the headphones off of his head and prying the boy's death grip from the player.

"Yeah, I don't think I've seen a bigger smile before." Elliot agreed taking the boy into his arms and laying him in the center of the fold out bed before pulling the covers over him.

"That's a cute kid." Elliot smiled at Olivia.

"He's sweet." She responded letting Elliot hold her, "I like having him here…the house feels right with him here."

Elliot kissed her head gently, "I love you Liv."

"Oh yeah?" she smiled suggestively.

"Yeah." He grinned.

"Do you love me enough to let me draw from your fantasy box tonight?" she waggled her brows.

"You want to draw from my box? Sure you don't want me to draw from yours?" he asked embracing her from behind and letting her lead them to the bedroom.

"No, I want to make you happy first." She giggled feeling his goatee rub the back of her neck.

"Well," He replied with laughter, "Since you twisted my arm." He agreed holding up his small box to her, "Make me the happiest man alive Olivia."

Olivia reached in and retrieved a folded paper, "We'll see." She smiled devilishly and laid the paper on the nightstand then suddenly felt Elliot pull her by her hips and playfully toss her onto to bed covering her quickly with his body as she laughed against his kiss.

"If you hurt me," she smiled, "I may not be able to perform said fantasy."

"Just means I can save it and have two in one week." He suggested rubbing himself into her and smiling as she gasped.

"Sounds selfish to me." She smiled feeling his hands walk across the flesh under her shirt.

"When it comes to you," he kissed her mouth and brought his lips to her ear as he cupped her breast, "you have no Idea."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Captain Cragen." Paul smiled opening the door and adjusting Addison in his arms, "Please come in." he said stepping aside then noticing Melinda was right behind him, "Hello Melinda it's good to see you both."

"It's good to see you too." She smiled.

"Tell me," Cragen smiled, "Is this the little one?"

"Sure is." Paul grinned, "Addison Novak." He informed him.

"Good looking kid you got there Paul," Cragen tugged at the babies long legs, "Looks like he'll be tall like is old man." He smiled and patted Paul on the shoulder. It was in that moment that Paul thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad for Addison to look like him.

"Thank you Sir, I'll tell Casey you're here."

"Paul, please call me Don…or Cragen at the least, you're not one of my detectives, we're friends." Cragen informed him with a smile.

"I'll go get her, Cragen," He said stepping away, "Please make yourself at home."

Paul rounded the corner and stepped into the bedroom with his son securely in his arms, "Casey."

"Yeah?" she responded pulling a pair of Levis over her waist and buckling them quickly.

"You're guests are here." He informed her kissing her gently on the cheek, "Do you want me to take Addison into the office, Veggitales is coming on, he likes Veggitales."

"Paul." She laughed and kissed his mouth, "He doesn't know what Veggitales is."

"He most certainly does." He protested, "He laughs when the tomato comes on the screen and then the cucu-" Paul stopped when Casey grinned.

"You've been watching cartoons with our son haven't you?" She grinned.

"They're not cartoon's so much as animated entertainment."

"Oh sweetie…you should have been a lawyer, the way you twist things is amazing." She teased caressing his cheeks.

"You like that?" he smiled lowering his head and kissing her full on the mouth, taking her tongue into his mouth with a tender ease that made a shiver run down his neck. He separated with a satisfied smile, and watched as Casey kissed Addison's forehead gently.

"I'll try to make this quick." Casey told him, "But considering the conversation topic…if I end up not going to sleep with you tonight would you be upset?"

"Nope." He shrugged, "Is there breast milk in the fridge?"

"Yeah, I just put a fresh serving." She teased.

"Well," Paul smiled, "Then me and this little guy are set for the night." He kissed Addison gently and turned to walk out of the room.

"Captain Cragen. Melinda, thank you so much for coming on short notice." Casey said walking into the living room, "Can I get you anything?"

"Just a reason why I'm here." Cragen smiled.

Casey retrieved the stack of files she'd left on the counter for this specific conversation. "Alright, I suppose there's no easy way to say this."

"Say what?" Don asked growing a little irritated.

"Don," Melinda soothed him, "Let her talk…it's gonna be rough as it is."

"What's gonna be rough?"

"If you'd lock you're lips she'll tell you." Melinda said with a smile, "Let her talk."

Cragen exhaled, "I'm listening Counselor."

"Alright," Casey handed him a file, "Several months ago I was contacted by the ADA who's filling in for me, he'd gotten slammed with a case that required intensive research and I needed a pay check…. so blah blah blah, I was handed more case files of dead bodies than I ever want to see again, but these three are the ones I'm concerned with at this particular moment."

"Why?" Cragen asked opening the file, "Should I know this vic?"

"No." Casey responded flatly, "but look at this one." She said handing him the picture of the accident scene they thought claimed Isaac's life.

"Casey! What the hell!" He grimaced and slapped the file shut, "I never want to see that little boy like that again."

Melinda exhaled seeing how much the little boy obviously meant to him, "What if we told you that's not Isaac."

"Excuse me?" he furrowed his brows, "What in the hell are you talking about?"

Melinda pulled out her own caseload and motioned for Casey to hand her the corresponding files, she explained the riddle sent with the case file and the links they found with the files from the stolen bodies, after nearly two hours of explanation, and thoroughly reading every file he had before him before leaning back and exhaling, pinching his nose, "This is gonna kill them."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Elliot," Olivia laughed feeling him encompass her waist and roll her onto the top of him, "that really tickles."

"I like to hear you laugh." He smiled looking up at her and then tucking her gently under his body with one more roll, "I like to wrestle with you Liv."

"Yeah?" She kissed playfully, "I kinda like wrestling with you too." She laughed, "But unfortunately, we have to get Sam unpacked, before this gets out of hand."

"Ah, man, just when I was gonna pin ya." He smiled and helped her up, "Where are we going to put his things? We didn't have time to get anything and Frankie can't get her until tomorrow."

"Got it covered El, I cleaned out the hall linen closet for the time being, until we can get his room set up…do you think…do you think that we should have the garage converted…we don't even know if were gonna get to keep him."

"Blind faith Liv." Elliot smiled, "That's what you and me got right now…blind faith."

Olivia shook her head and smiled softly, "Alright…where are his suitcases?"

"Um, I think you mean…carry on." Elliot whispered.

"What?" Olivia turned sharply, "How can he only have a carry-on? Even I had more things than that when I was small."

"That's all they gave me, Christoff said he didn't really have many things." Elliot shrugged, "I'll get it wait here."

Olivia wondered how it could be that a child as sweet as Samuel could be neglected as much as he was, she could feel it in his hugs that no one had spent the time to hold him or rock him yet his smile melted her heart, his touch, let her know she was capable of giving a love she thought she wasn't capable of sharing again and she knew at the moment he touched her face that Samuel was a gift form God, not to replace her son…but to help her along the way.

"Delivery." Elliot smiled tossing the piece of luggage onto the bed and furrowing his brows when he saw her tried to hide a fallen tear. "Olivia? What is it?"

Olivia raised her hand and smiled, "Happy."

"Happy?" He took her raised hand and kissed it drawing her close, "Happiness makes you cry?"

"Today, yeah." She shook her head and kissed him, "You make me happy."

"Women are the oddest creatures I've ever seen, they cry when they're sad, happy, angry, lonely, it's very confusing." He smiled noticing that as they talked they swayed gently dancing to their own conversation.

"Elliot," she wrapped her arms around his neck and let her hands fall limp, "you said something today that I wanted to ask you about."

"Ask." He whispered kissing the corner of her mouth and pushing her hair behind her ear.

"You said that you knew how Sam felt," she spoke softly and pushed him back gently to look at him, "when you were blind…you said it was lonely, I'm sorry I made you feel alone." She whispered touching his cheek softly, "I'm so sorry."

"You misunderstood." He smiled, "You kept me sane, but when you can't see and when you can't even dress your self…I think I started to isolate myself, that's when it got lonely, I'm not upset with you, the thought never crossed my mind." He smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Elliot," she held his face and grinned, "you still can't dress your self."

"Ouch!" he held his hand to his heart and laughed. They were laughing, laughing together, and teasing each other like they had when they first started dating. They were laughing. And it felt good.

"Alright, open that thing up." Olivia said pointing to the luggage as Elliot unzipped it. The sound of two people audibly taking in breath in disbelief of what they saw.

"You can't be serious." Olivia shook her head and retrieved the pathetic excuse for clothing form the luggage. "What they he-"

"These clothes got to be ten years old." Elliot furrowed his brow, and held up a pair of pants, "These must be high waters on him."

"This toothbrush is definitely expired." Olivia grimaced and tossed it aside. "He was always in his karate uniform when I saw him, he never said anything, never let on to anything." She muttered going through the clothes, "El, these aren't even clean." She raised her voice in irritation that someone would actually do this.

"Liv…I think, we can afford to pick him up some clothes tomorrow." He whispered knowing she was upset he held her, "Why are you so upset about dirty clothes?"

"Because," She squirmed from his grip, "what kind of sick person can't even through the damn clothes into the damn washer so that the kid can have clean damn clothes Elliot?" she ran her hand through her hair in frustration and felt his body take hers back into safety.

"You're mother?" he whispered knowing that Olivia must have had a similar experience for her to snap at something so small. She shook her head affirming his question.

"The house was always cluttered and laundry was piled higher than me sometimes, I had high waters and stained shirts because she couldn't stay sober long enough for a shopping trip." She confessed. "It's not that hard to through clothes in damn washer." She smiled sheepishly.

"Olivia," He held her back softly, "Climb into bed," he kissed her forehead, "I'll put a change of clothes in the wash for Sam," he smiled and kissed her cheek, "Then I focus on you, tonight." He whispered grazing her lips.

"You don't know how to wash clothes." She reminded him taking his lower lip into hers. "I don't know how you managed before you met me." She chuckled and kissed his chin with half parted lips.

Elliot walked her back to the bed and smiled as she lowered herself down, "Laundry service." He informed her.

"Well then," she played with the hem of his shirt, "That explains why you were always broke." She smiled, "don't worry about the clothes, I can do it." She assured him trying to stand and feeling him keep her on the bed.

"I paid attention to what you did, darks in one pile, whites in the other…besides, these clothes can't get any worse." He laughed, "I'll be back." He told her taking the luggage from the bed and turning to leave.

Olivia laughed grabbing pajamas to change, "Thanks for the warning."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Your asleep already?" Elliot smiled climbing into the bed to see Olivia already drifting off, "I thought we were going to focus on you." He smiled pulling her close to him and kissing her lips moving down the contours of her jaw and the expanse of her throat.

"I am focusing on me…I'm trying to sleep." She murmured.

"I don't think you were trying to sleep." He whispered rolling her onto her back and seeing her eyes open.

"How do you figure that?" she smiled.

"Olivia," he rubbed against her, "you're not wearing panties."

"Mmm," she blushed, "I suppose that may have been a dead give away huh?"

"Possibility." He grinned nestling in the cradle of her body and grinning widely as she pulled her legs up to his waistband and tugged his boxers down with her toes, grinding her body against his as she removed them.

"You are so easy Elliot." She giggled hearing him moan into her neck.

"You just play all the right cards is all." He smiled, "Your body is amazing." He whispered feeling the heat of their naked flesh come into contact with one another.

"Elliot?" she raised her hips against his and whispered, "Can I have you?"

"What?" he smiled at her request.

"Can I have you…tonight," she smiled, "I just want you."

Elliot grinded against her with a smile, "Are you ready?"

"Absolutely." She giggled freely and then sucked in air feeling him push into her, "Thank you." She grinned arching her body against him and then suddenly freezing and stopping his movements when she held his shoulders, "What was that?" She whispered.

"A really great feeling." Elliot smiled attempting another thrust but stopping when she shifted under him.

"No," She shook her head, "Listen…what is that?" she trained her ear in the direction of the door.

Elliot finally heard the noise she spoke of, "He's crying?" he furrowed his brows and reluctantly left the comfort of his wife's warmth.

"I'll go see what's wrong." Olivia said.

"No, I will." Elliot searched the covers for his boxers.

"Elliot," She laughed softly and nodded to his unsatisfied erection, "You'd better calm yourself, toss me your shirt, I'll go see what's wrong." She assured him taking his shirt and retrieving a pair of his boxers from the drawer as she made her way out of the room and down the darkened hall way.

Olivia bit her lip hearing the muffled cries of the little boy grow louder, more intense, "Samuel, honey, what's wrong?" she spoke softly as she turned on the light and saw him sitting up with his knees to his chest rocking frantically as he cried into his knees. "Sam?" she sat on the edge of the bed and reached out to him only to have him tare away form her embrace. "Sam," she spoke a little louder but still lovingly, "it's Olivia."

The young boy sniffled and raised his head, "I wet the bed." He cried wiping his tears with the back of his hands.

Olivia reached out to him again, "Let's get you cleaned up sweetie."

"You're not gonna spank me?" he sniffled again.

"Come here," she whispered helping him off the bed and holding his face in her hands, "You never have to worry about me or Elliot ever hurting you…okay?"

Sam shook his head in acknowledgement, "I'm sorry Olivia." He whispered.

"Everyone has accidents Sam." She assured him, "Nothing to worry about." She smiled and took his hand leading him back to the room, calling Elliot just in case he was still naked.

"Hey buddy." Elliot smiled as Olivia walked with him into the room, "What's the matter?"

Samuel rested his head on Olivia's hip, and refused to speak.

"Sam, had an accident," Olivia told Elliot, "but I told him we all have had accidents before."

"Oh, Sam," Elliot walked to him, "Don't worry." He smiled.

"Big boys don't wet the bed." Sam whispered through his frown.

Elliot lied instantly, "Not true."

"Huh?"

"I had an accident." Elliot smiled and winked at Olivia, "And I'm a cop."

"Really?"

"Yep…happens to the best of us, the trick is to try to not let it happen again, okay?"

Sam smiled, "Okay."

"Alright Sam," Olivia smiled, "Elliot's gonna help you shower while I put the shee-"

"NO!" Sam screeched grasping onto Olivia's arm with all the strength he could muster, "No! No showers with him please!" he begged her sobbing until she crouched down and wrapped her arms around him.

"Shhh, Sam." She whispered in his ear, "It's okay." She assured him, looking at Elliot who was visibly shaken by the outburst. "Elliot's not gonna hurt you sweet heart."

The young boy buried his head into her shoulder, "No showers with him…please."

"Do you want me to help you while Elliot fixes the bed?" she offered as Elliot already made his way to the living room.

"Yes please." He whispered allowing her to lead him to the restroom.

Nearly thirty minutes later Elliot found himself putting away the cleaning supplies he'd used to scrub the mattress. He washed his hands in the kitchen sink and dried them on a hand towel smiling at the laughter he heard from the back of the house. Curiosity killed him as he walked down the hall and stopped at the doorway to the master bedroom, seeing Olivia playfully wrestling with a freshly showered Samuel, who was laughing as she tickled him and grinning as he tickled her back. Elliot smiled wondering if he'd ever seen Olivia so beautiful as he did right now, freely playing with a child, as a child.

"Hey, why wasn't I invited to the party?" Elliot smiled waiting for Sam to invite him in.

"El," Olivia smiled through her tussled hair, and then straightened it out quickly, "Sam here wants to ask a favor of you."

"Oh yeah?" Elliot smiled walking into the room and sitting on the edge of the bed, "Whatchya got?"

"Can I sleep with you guys tonight, it's scary in there." He whispered.

"How about this?" Elliot smiled, "This week, you can sleep with us, next week we'll sleep with you in the living room so you know there's nothing to be afraid of…but after that, you've got to be a big boy and sleep in your own bed…deal?"

"Deal." He smiled and then laughed feeling Elliot tickle him as Olivia joined in, the laughter of three broken people becoming whole slowly with the help of each other.

"Hey Sam?" Elliot smiled, "What's Olivia got you wearing man?"

"She said I could wear you're big boy shorts but she had to bend them."

"Bend?" Elliot furrowed his brows.

"He means pin them." Olivia smiled, "I safety pined the boxers to fit around him and let him wear you're 'A' shirt."

"We'll then," Elliot smiled, "I guess it's official than…you're a big boy."

"Really?"

"You got the shorts right?" Elliot teased.

"Right." He smiled and nestled into the covers of the bed between a man who would become his strength and a woman who would become his sight. In a matter of minutes his breathing steadied and he was sound asleep.

Elliot shut the light off and talked to Olivia in whispered tones, smiling when Sam curled up next to Olivia. Olivia extended her hand over the pillows and weaved her fingers into Elliot's whispering, "I love you."

Elliot squeezed her hand gently and whispered back, "I love you too."

A/N: Fluffy, but the case will start to come to light, I just needed to get El and Liv happy for once. LOL


	16. Chapter 16 If The Shoe Fits

Divided We Fall

Chapter 16 If The Shoe Fits

A/N: Hey just wanted to let you know that there were some glaring mistakes that I had to go in an edit, thanks for pointing them out Kellyofthemidnightdawn...see, I listen to you guys. LOL

"Can we get an ice cream, Olivia?" Sam smiled from the back seat of the Mustang as Olivia buckled her seat belt and Elliot started the car.

"It's a little early for ice cream buddy." Elliot laughed looking at his watch as they started down the road.

"Well," Olivia offered, "we can get you a snack at the mall later on, maybe a pretzel?" she offered, "but Elliot and I wanted you to meet a friend of ours for lunch, would you like to do that?"

"Is your friend nice?" Sam asked feeling for the walkman.

"Yes she is." Olivia smiled and rested her hand on Elliot's thigh, "She wants to meet you Sam…a lot of our friends do."

"Will she let me have ice cream?" he asked.

"Alex, is a softy, Sam, there will probably be ice cream involved if you ask politely."

"With please and thank yous?"

"Yep." Olivia laughed; lowering the visor and looking at the young boy through the small mirror put his headphones on as they headed to the mall.

Elliot eyed Olivia carefully, _Pretzels huh? _"Whatchya writing?"

"A list, I don't want to forget anything…do you think the mall will be too crowded for him?" She asked as she wrote.

"I think we would have already heard an objection…why didn't he want to bring his cane?" Elliot asked turning the mustang into the parking lot.

Olivia looked up and smiled, "He said he wants to hold your hand."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Fin. Munch, a minute please." Cragen stood outside his door motioning them to the office.

"What's up Cap?" Fin asked sitting down and eye a near empty bucket of licorice, "Rough night?"

Munch looked over his glasses, "I keep telling you that stuff is going to kill you."

Cragen sat somberly in his own chair, "I'd give anything to be dead then to say what I'm about to say." He rubbed his hands over his exhausted face.

"Hey," Fin protested, "Whatever the complaint is I can assure you it was Kermit the frog here who did it." He defended himself pointing to Munch.

"I'm insulted." Munch furrowed his brows.

"Will you two shut up." Cragen hissed.

Fin and Munch eyed Captain Cragen carefully, seeing the exhaustion, worry and for the first time in either of their careers an overwhelming doubt in himself. Fin exhaled, "What is it that's got you bent?"

"I need you two to find the parents of an infant that was unclaimed at the morgue." He instructed them, "I need it done discreetly and I need it kept between us three for the time being."

"What's with the kid?" Munch shrugged his shoulders; "I didn't see it on the case listing."

"That's because it's not there." Cragen opened a file in front of him and took more information from it, "I talked with Casey and got some information on the coroner who's awaiting trial for selling cadavers…I need to know anything he knows about the infant."

"You gonna tell us what all this is about?" Fin finally asked as Munch shook his head in agreement.

Cragen leaned back in his chair, "Until I find out who this baby belongs to…you're on a need to know basis."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I'm detective Tutuola, this is my partner detective Munch." Fin said introducing the two to the obese corrections officer behind the desk.

"Tutuola?" The large man laughed, "Sounds like a custom made tutu."

"Which is something you'll never fit into." Fin shot back, daring the man to say something again.

"What's that suppose to mean?" The large man snapped.

Munch peered over his glasses, "It means if we slapped butter on you're butt, we'd have to call you Thanksgiving dinner." He smirked, "You gonna let us see the prisoner-"

"Or would you prefer we bag on you're ass all day?" Fin chimed in.

The large man snarled at both officers and returned his gaze to the computer, "Prisoner's name?"

"Dr. Lance Woods. " Fin said sharply and waited impatiently for the man to speak.

"Alright detectives, second door on you're right to stow you're weapons, they'll lead you from there, here's you're visitor badges."

"Thank you for your hospitality." Fin smacked his lips and took the badges handing one to Munch as he clipped the other on his suit's lapel.

Munch opened the door that led into a smaller room where a much more physically fit corrections officer stood. Hair cut short, uniform neatly covering his sculptured physique, "You're pieces please." He smiled friendly at the two officers and Fin shook his head at the sudden shock of politeness.

Both detectives removed their weapons and made sure they were cleared before engaging the safety's and passing them along to the officer who locked them securely in a locker and handed both a slip of paper, "You'll need this to get the weapon's back…try not to loose them." He laughed, "Otherwise, we'll be pushing paperwork for a month trying to get the boss to unlock the locker for you."

"Ah, American Government." Munch smiled placing the tag in his pocket as Fin rolled his eyes.

The buffed out officer spoke into the radio that was clipped to his epilate, "Has prisoner, 45721, last name Woods, first name, Lance, been secured?"

"Affirmative." Came a static voice.

"Follow me detectives." He instructed them as he opened a door opposite the one they came through and walked down a sterile hallway stopping at an interview room, "Do you want him cuffed or uncuffed?"

"He a threat?" Munch asked raising his brows.

"Hardly." The officer laughed.

"Keep him cuffed." Fin interjected, "Let's get his done with."

The officer opened the door and let them in, "The panic button is here." He informed them pointing to it on the door frame, and smiling, "Hopefully you won't need it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Cragen welcomed the next wave of people into his office, "Good to see you Casey," he smiled, "Melinda, who's you're side kick?" He asked shaking the hand of the man following her into the office.

"This is my assistant, Donovan."

"Good to meet you Donovan."

"You too Captain." He smiled shaking hands with Cragen and then separating.

"I got Munch and Fin interviewing the Coroner that was arrested last year, I'm hoping that she'd some light on the identity of the infant." He said offering liquorices to the three in front of him, to which they all passed.

Melinda exhaled, "Should we be keeping this from Elliot and Olivia? I mean, not only are they the victims here, but they have two of the best noses for crime I've seen…they may be an asset." 

Cragen clenched his jaw and then quickly softened his anger, "I will not have the parents of a child investigate their own child's murder…or kidnapping…or whatever the hell this is, do you all understand me?"

"Captain," Casey tried to sooth the situation, "I think we're all just trying to protect them, trying to make it okay for them."

Cragen narrowed his eyes at her comment," How do you make a child's disappearance okay to his parents?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I'm detective Munch, this is detective Tutuola, were from the NYPD SVU." He introduced themselves to the impeccably groomed middle-aged man across from them.

"Sex police…what do you want with me?" he asked furrowing his brows.

"We need you're help in identifying a young child." Munch offered, in an effort to feel Dr. Woods out.

"I need to get out of jail." He smiled back smugly, and then found him self at Fin's mercy when he pulled him out of the chair and shoved him into the wall.

"I don't have time for punk games." Fin barked, and reached behind him for Munch to hand him the picture. He thrust it into the face of the doctor, "Who is she?" he asked. When there was no response he pulled him back slightly and shoved him again, "Who is she? Answer the question or you may never see a trial." He threatened in a low whisper.

"Alright!" The doctor gave up and began to blurt out information as if he had diarrhea of the mouth. "It was a family of three, they died in an apartment of carbon dioxide poisoning…from what I understand from the police reports, it was peaceful."

"The parent's are dead too?" Fin asked knowing if it were the case then they may have just hit a brick wall.

"Yes, I did the autopsies myself."

"Names…give me their names." Fin demanded knowing Munch would be writing.

"The baby is ah…Johanna Little, the parents are Douglas and Julia, if I remember correctly."

"Next of kin?"

"None." He tried to break free, "Are we done here?" he snapped at Fin who simply spun him around and pushed his handcuffed frame into a chair watching him slide across the floor.

"Now we're done." Munch smiled patting the doctor's shoulder as he followed Fin out of the room back to retrieve their weapons and finally outside of the jail.

"You know," Munch peered over his glasses at a very irritable Fin, "If I didn't know any better I'd say your ready to start you're period."

"Oh that's funny." Fin replied in full sarcasm.

"We'll your not the most tactful in the interrogation room…but that was definitely quick and dirty." Munch informed him, "What's going on?"

"I got the job done." Fin said heading back to the car.

"You may not have a job if you keep that up." Munch informed him.

Fin stopped and turned to face him lowering his voice, "Do you get the feeling that Cragen is hiding something form us…something big?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"It's gonna be a difficult motion to win Captain." Casey informed him, "I thought originally we could argue based on president but if we do that…we have to tell Elliot and Olivia and that is what were trying to avoid at the moment isn't it?"

Before Cragen could respond a knock at the door caught his attention.

"Come in." He called.

"Captain," Fin stuck his head in looking at the three visitors, "regular little fiesta in here." He smiled, "Hi, Melinda, Casey it's good to see you…hello." He smiled at Donovan.

"Hello."

"What's up Fin?"

"Got the information in the Johanna Little, infant." He said holding up a file.

"Tell me you found her parents?" Cragen said hopefully.

"Sure did…they're dead." Fin blurted, "No next of kin, died of Carbon Dioxide poisoning."

"That's prefect." Casey chimed in to get a handful of curiously shocked looks.

"Mind telling us why Councilor."

"Yeah, I'd sure as hell like to know." Fin chirped.

"Dismissed detective." Cragen said firmly, "I'll brief you later." He said watching Fin roll his eyes and walk out of the office closing the door.

"What's so perfect?" Melinda asked.

"We have sufficient doubt that the baby Elliot and Olivia buried isn't their son, and the baby that is buried has no next of kin, which means it's the states call."

"The Stabler's don't have to be notified?" Donovan asked a little disgusted with the idea.

"Out of courtesy the state would normally inform the family…but I don't think that's what were going for here…are we?"

"No, we're not." Cragen exhaled, "How likely is it to get an order of exhumation?"

"Well," Casey furrowed her brows, "I suppose, I could hit up Judge Camerina, she seemed to have a soft spot for Olivia during her father's trial."

Cragen shook his head and digested the information, "Do it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Do they fit Sam?" Olivia asked from the opposite side of the dressing room door.

"I don't know." He called back and chuckled, "I can't see them."

Olivia and Elliot smiled at one another realizing they might just have a comedian on their hands, "Step out and let us see."

Sam cautiously stepped out of the dressing room in a crisp pair of Levis and a polo shirt, "Wow, Sam, you're a handsome man." Olivia smiled, "Are they too tight for you?"

"No." He grinned, "Where's Elliot?"

"I'm right here." Elliot spoke up, "And I have to agree Sam, have you been working out?" Elliot teased.

Sam posed in a typical muscle man flex and grinned at the two.

"Alright," Olivia laughed, "Go a head and take them off now, we need to get you some shoes." She informed him and turned to Elliot, "Can you get more Levis in this size and some shirts in this size for him?"

"Absolutely." He grinned looking at the tags and making a mental note of the sizes, "I'll be back…oh how many?"

Olivia thought about it for a minute wondering how many clothes kids were suppose to have, she remembered the clothes she had at that age and bit her lip, "Um, I don't know just get what they have I guess." She smiled as he turned to get the clothing she requested.

"I'm ready." Sam smiled coming back out in his old clothes. Olivia frowned at how weak he looked in his clothes now; versus how strong and good looking he looked in clothes that actually fit him.

Olivia held out her elbow for him to grasp, "Alright, we need socks and shoes."

"What's wrong with my shoes?" He frowned.

"Sweetie." Olivia laughed walking with him as she towed the cart behind them, "Do you remember the blister's on your toes that I put band aids on this morning?"

"Yeah, they hurt."

"That's because you're shoes are too small for you."

"Because I'm a big boy?" he asked innocently.

Olivia smiled knowing that the blisters were caused because someone didn't care enough to buy him sneakers, but she lied just the same, "Yep…you're a growing boy."

"Got'em." Elliot smiled tossing the clothes into the basket, "Check this out Olivia." He grinned holding up his find.

"What is that?" she squinted her eyes, "Bubble bath?"

"What's bubble bath?" Sam asked changing his grip from Olivia's elbow to the basket as he inched closer to the sound of Elliot's voice.

"You've never had a bubble bath Sam?" Elliot furrowed his brows.

"No." He shook his head thinking maybe he was supposing to.

"Every one has bubble baths Sam" Elliot told him, "Are you sure you haven't."

"Yes."

"Hey Sam," Olivia smiled seeing the frustration on the boy's face, "Can I tell you a secret?"

"I like secrets." He grinned, "I can keep them too." He assured her.

Olivia laughed, "I've never had a bubble bath either Sam." She confessed the trivial piece of information to him and smiled seeing Elliot's eyebrow arch in disbelief.

"Well then," Elliot whispered, "The bubble bath is a keeper." He smiled making a note of an idea he had and depositing the bubble bath into the basket.

"Alright," Olivia looked into the basket, "Sock?"

"Got'em." Elliot pulled them from under the pants.

"Underwear?"

"I'll handle this." Elliot smiled and stepped up to Sam, "What are you wearing?" he teased letting the young boy take his elbow, and felt his own heart melt when Sam slid his hand along his forearm and took hold of his hand to be led.

"I wear underwear." Sam said responded surprised that Elliot would have to ask, "Don't you?" Olivia wrapped her arm around Elliot's waist and pushed the basket with Elliot as she listened to their conversation.

"Sam," Elliot said his name seriously as they stopped in the underwear section of the boys department, "There comes a time in every big boys life when he has to make a very important choice…one that will affect him his whole life." He told him seeing Olivia furrow her brows at the turn Elliot suddenly took in the conversation.

"Whole Life?" Sam furrowed his brows, "That's a big choice." He whispered, "What is it?"

Elliot smiled and held up two packages, "Boxers or briefs?" he laughed seeing Olivia smile and roll her eyes.

"I want kick boxers!" He grinned.

"Huh?" Elliot found himself suddenly confused and looking at Olivia who was chuckling.

"He thinks you're talking about boxers…mike Tyson…he's telling you he wants kick boxers, like Don Wilson." She smiled thinking it was funny that Sam's innocence had confused Elliot so quickly.

"You don't know what boxers are?" Elliot furrowed his brows.

"Yeah, girls box now too, Olivia told me that." He smiled.

Olivia crouched down next to Elliot to talk to Sam, "Honey, do you want to wear underwear like you have right now, or do you want to wear underwear like the big boy shorts you slept in?"

"Big boy shorts!" He grinned.

Olivia stood to her feet and smiled down at Elliot, "I guess I took care of that, huh?" she winked and pulled out her ringing phone, but gave one last instruction before answering it, "I'll pay for this and meet you two in the shoe store."

"Deal, let's go, Sam." Elliot smiled taking Sam's hand into his own and leading him across the way.

"This is Olivia," She answered the cell phone as she handed the merchandise to the cashier and smiled at some of the stuff Elliot had slipped into the basket without her knowing, "Hi Alex…yep…as long as they have ice cream, I kind of told him you'd get him some…okay bye."

Olivia hung up the phone apologizing to the woman at the register for the rudeness of the act and then grinned at the tie and dress shirt Elliot had tossed into the basket. In a manner of minutes she'd paid the bill and took the bags with her, across the mall to the shoe store and smiled seeing Elliot crouched to one knee and helping Sam try on a new pair of shoes, "Hey guys…what do we got going over here?" Olivia smiled at the two.

"Elliot's showing me what a nikky is." He smiled looking ahead but putting his hand out to her.

"Nikky?" Olivia asked Elliot as she sat next to Sam, letting him know where she was.

Elliot smiled and held up a Nike shoe causing Olivia to laugh at the miscommunication, "Oh, a Nike."

"What's the name of your shoes Olivia?" Sam asked as Elliot took the shoe off of his feet after deciding it didn't fit.

"Uh," She had to glance down at her shoes, "looks like Adidas today."

"What kind do you have Elliot?" he asked reaching down Olivia's leg until his hand touched her shoe so he could feel the design.

"Adidas." He answered simply.

"Can I have them too?" he asked innocently as he felt for Elliot's sneaker and grinned.

"What's so funny?" Elliot asked with a smile.

"You guys are wearing matching shoes." He chuckled.

"I'll have you know," Elliot smiled, "It's very manly to wear shoes that match you're wife's…so long as they aren't pink of course." Elliot laughed, "I'll go hunt down a pair for you." He informed him jumping to his feet and walking over to the wall to browse for a different pair of shoes.

"Are you having fun?" Olivia asked Sam as he swung his feet back and forth.

"Lots." He responded

"Guess what?"

"What?" he trained his ear on her voice poised to listen carefully.

"Tomorrow, you get to start school." She smiled, and then frowned when he furrowed his brows and gave a weak smile.

"Ok." He nodded his head and rested it in his palm.

"Don't you like school?"

"No." he confessed, "No one plays with me…they pick on me and tease me 'cause my sunglasses are too big." He whispered.

Olivia wasn't quite sure what to say in response to that, "Well," She wrapped her arm around his small shoulders, "They don't know what they're missin."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Casey, good to see you!" Judge Camerina smiled, welcoming her into her chambers.

"It's good to see you too." Casey nodded knowing that it was considered rude to come before a judge in her Levis and t-shirt, but honestly, she was hoping she wouldn't have to.

"What brings you by…I didn't know you were back to work, they told me you had a baby." The judge said with a smile, "Got a picture."

Casey smiled and retrieved her pocket book from her workbag, "I've got about a million." She responded holding the photo section open, "A woman with a camera and way to much time on her hands." She chuckled.

"Ah, he's a very attractive boy, I take it this is your husband?" she asked pointing at the picture of Paul holding Addison after his first bath.

"Yeah, that's him." Casey said wanting to get this whole meeting over but knowing that conversations like these made her memorable to judges and that was always a good thing when she had to argue a case in front of them.

"You did good." She smiled offering the wallet back to Casey, "Tell me, Mrs. Novak, what brings you to me…when you're not even suppose to be working."

Casey wished she could show her more photos; she was putting her reputation on the line as an officer of the court. She took a deep breath knowing that if she and Addison were ever separated, Elliot and Olivia would drudge through hell to reunite them. "I need a warrant for exhumation signed."

"On what grounds?" Camerina furrowed her brows.

"The NYPD has credible evidence that the baby in the grave may not be the baby that should be there."

"Sounds like a problem for the funeral homes to fight about…why are you involved?" she asked tenting her fingers in front of her.

Casey exhaled, "I'm not at liberty to say."

"Mrs. Novak, you're asking me to sign my name to something without telling me what it's about? I'm afraid I can't do that, you'll have to tell me." She informed her leaning forward on her desk, "I'm willing to stake my reputation on you Casey, you're a good prosecutor…but, I cannot forsake my duty as a judge."

Casey licked her lips and swallowed hard, "Almost a year ago, a boy was kidnapped-"

"Ah," Camerina exhaled looking at Casey, "The young boy you were taking care of?" she asked, not accusingly but just for clarification.

"Yes." Casey whispered in shame.

"I read the papers…Detective Olivia Benson and her husband Elliot Stabler." She stated their names as if they were her best friends, "How are they?"

"They are finally starting to press through and continue to live but, new evidence has come to light, that may suggests, her son is still alive." Casey informed her.

"She must be ecstatic."

"She hasn't been informed, yet." Casey confessed, "That's why we need the order to exhume."

"Why hasn't anyone informed her?" Camerina furrowed her brows.

Casey closed her eyes wondering if she shame was permeating through the very pours of her skin, "No one wants to pull that chord until we know for sure that the baby in the coffin isn't her son."

"And if it is?" Camerina asked pushing the envelope.

Casey took in a breath, "Then she'll never know."

Judge Camerina stared at the bold red head for what seemed to be hours but Casey knew had to logically be minutes, "You're willing to risk an important friendship?"

"To save her unspeakable pain?" Casey shook her head, "Yes."

"Detective Benson has always been a good detective, an upstanding individual, highly respected in my courtroom," Camerina informed Casey, "but, since you're asking me to sign this, I'm assuming you already know how I feel about her?"

Casey had the grace to blush knowing she'd been made, "Yes, Your Honor."

Judge Camerina shook her head and mulled the situation over in her mind taking the warrant into her hand and picking up a pen to sign, "You have trusted me to make fair and accurate decisions with cases you have put you're heart into. I want you to know that by signing this I'm breaking the code of ethics on so many levels, this is wrong on many levels…but entirely correct on many more. Therefore, I'm trusting you that, while this is unethical, it is not illegal." She told Casey signing her name without so much as reading the warrant, "I trust you won't make me regret what I have done…for you."

"No, You're Honor. Thank you.' Casey said with a nod of the head as she took the warrant and gathered up her workbag, "Good bye." She said as she walked away and then stopped. "May I ask you something, Your Honor?"

"Yes."

"You seem to have a personal stake in Olivia…may I ask why?"

"Is it important?" Camerina asked picking up a picture that fell out of Casey's wallet.

"It's just unusual for a judge to put their neck on the line for a detective." Casey confessed.

Camerina stood and handed the picture to Casey with a soft smile, "It is equally unusual for an ADA to put her neck on the line for a detective…just know that I'm on your side."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Cragen walked purposefully over to the desk of Detective John Munch, "Munch. Fin. Interview Room. Lets go." He barked softly knowing that they would follow.

Cragen watched as they filed into the interview room and closed the door as they sat down, looking at one another in confusion. "What's up Cap?"

Cragen closed the blinds and sat across from them, sliding the files over to them, "You're not gonna want to hear what I have to say, and you're not gonna want to look at these files."

"Hmm," Munch smirked, "That's not quite the Happy Birthday I was looking for, but I'll take what I can get." He chuckled then frowned when he opened the file, "I thought this was settled?"

"What?" Fin furrowed his brow and tipped the file down to look at it, then wishing he hadn't, "Damnit."

"Does she know?" Munch asked softly.

Cragen shook his head and bowed it, "No."

"Elliot?" Fin asked.

"No."

"Don't you think they have a right to know we're looking at these?"

"Which," Munch Chimed in, "brings us to the question, why are we looking at these?"

Fin thought back to his meeting with Melinda on New Years and put the puzzle together, "Isaac's alive, isn't he?"

"Okay," Munch said trying to follow along, "Did I miss a chapter somewhere, what the hell is going on?"

Hours passed, as Cragen explained the complicated in's and out's of the case starting with the riddle and case file sent to Melinda, moving to the connection made between the coroner on trial and bodies in the car.

"Were waiting on Casey to see if we can get the warrant to exhume." Cragen exhaled.

"Someone's got to tell them." Munch stated the obvious.

"No, not until we have conclusive evidence that it isn't Isaac." Cragen spoke.

"Captain," Munch stood to is feet walking around gathering momentum for his diatribe, "you can't dig up someone's dead child without telling them just because Uncle Sam says you can."

"John-" Cragen was cut off, as Munch continued.

"Do you know how unethical this is? Do you know how far Olivia is gonna shove her foot up our asses when she finds out that you've been sittin on this for months!" his voice increased as he continued, "She and Elliot have been through hell and the very second something came to light about their son," he was in a full blow yell, "WE WERE OBLIGATED TO SAY SOMETHING!"

"Stand down!" Cragen stood barking out an order for John to cease his actions immediately, "In case you haven't forgotten Detective, I love both Olivia and Elliot and it hasn't been easy to sit on this and watch them suffer!"

"Then say something!" Munch shot back.

"And what if were wrong! Did you think about that?" Cragen shouted back causing Fin to stand and try to but distance between the two.

"Look, we all need to chill," he spoke calmly, "I don't like keeping this from Liv or Stabler, but the Cap is right John, what if we are wrong…do you really want her to have the hope that he's alive only for him to die again?"

Before he could respond there was a knock at the door as Casey bounced in, "Got it!" She exclaimed handing the warrant to Cragen and noticing Fin and Munch, "Did I interrupt something?"

"Just the betrayal of a good friend." John smirked.

"Enough John!" Cragen barked, "You may not have to like the decision I've make to keep this under wraps for now, but you will respect my command, do you understand?"

"I may have to respect you're command, but if you do this to Olivia…I can't respect you." He said evenly as he turned to leave the room.

"Detective," Cragen called to him.

"Captain?" Munch bit the inside of his cheeks.

"The decision to not tell them is for their own good…and a direct order, do you understand?" Cragen spoke firmly.

Munch pursed his lips and nodded barely noticeable before walking out.

Cragen ran his hands over his baldhead and growled in frustration before looking back at Casey, "When is it scheduled for?"

"I talked to Melinda…on your orders… Monday." She informed him noticing the stress in his eyes and the anger in Fin's face, "Don," She called him softly, "It's not too late to tell them before this happens."

"I will not do that to them." He growled, "I will not get their hopes up."

"Do you want us to start preparing a team?" Fin asked whishing he wasn't in the room at this moment, hearing the plot of betrayal being formed against a fellow officer, a friend…sister.

Cragen swallowed hard trying to find his voice but only offering a whisper, "Do it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I saw the tie you sneaked into the basket." Olivia smiled holding Elliot's hand as he held onto Sam's.

"Who me?" he feigned innocence, "Okay fine I may have put a couple extra things in the basket." He confessed.

"A couple," Olivia teased, "implies two…there were a lot of couples in that basket." She laughed and then stopped noticing the kiosk in the center of the mall, "I have an idea." She told Elliot, "Follow me."

Elliot followed along and joked with Sam, "Uh oh, she's got us chasing rabbits, Sam." He led the young boy with them as they stopped at a counter watching Olivia turn a carousel and look back at the two of them before picking her selection and paying for them. Elliot smiled knowing what she was doing.

"Sam." Olivia crouched in front of him, "I have something for you." She spoke softly and gently removed his sunglasses watching him tense up, not liking to have them off around so many people, "it's ok." She soothed him and tenderly placed a smaller pair of glasses on his face, they accentuated his face, made him look a tad older, and best of all, they didn't scream to everyone that he was blind. "Do you like them?"

Sam brought his hands up to the glasses and felt the frame, then grinned in appreciation, plummeting himself into her and hugging her tightly, "Thank you, Olivia."

"You're welcome." She whispered in his ear, "Now what do you say about lunch?"

"Ice cream?"

Elliot laughed, "Persistent."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hello Sam." Alex stood and extended her hand to him.

"Belly button, Sam." Elliot informed him, letting him know the approximate height of her hand.

He reached out and shook it, "Hi," he smiled, "can we have ice cream for lunch?"

Alex arched her brows in surprise and happiness, "Sure, but can I introduce you to my husband?"

"Will he have ice cream?" he asked innocently and then heard Olivia's gentle correction in his ear, "Remember, please and thank you."

Sam reassessed the situation and was just about to ask if Alex would please have ice cream with him when he heard Robert's deep voice. His smile faded in an instant.

"Hello Samuel." Robert said with a smile and extended his hand to shake Sam's when he shied away reaching out immediately in hopes of finding Olivia or Elliot but grabbing an arm he wasn't familiar with and panicking. Turning sharply again he hit a chair, almost tumbling to the ground until he felt the strength of Elliot's hands catch him and the calm of his whisper in his ear, "It's Elliot."

"I'm sorry." Robert whispered to Olivia who told him not to worry before returning to Sam.

"Hey, Sam…I'm sorry, did his voice scare you?" she asked softly seeing the young boy shake as Elliot stood behind him.

"Yes." He whispered, "Who is he?"

"That's Robert, he's a good friend of Elliot's and mine, and he's Alex's husband…he's okay Sam, you don't have to worry." She assured him, but when he wasn't moving from Elliot she came up with an idea. "Sam, you know how I give you hugs?"

"Yeah." He shook his head and followed her lead when she took hold of his hand.

"Feel." She instructed him putting his hands over Robert's as she gave a friendly embrace to Robert, "Robert hugs me because we're friends, and I trust him." Olivia assured him again.

Sam lowered his hands and smiled softly, "Hi Robert, I'm Sam."

Robert deliberately softened his voice to accommodate the youngster, "Hello Sam, I'm so happy to meet you…I was wondering if you might do me a favor?" he asked him looking up at Alex and Olivia who were watching in curiosity.

"I have to ask Elliot." He replied leaning back into Elliot's legs.

"Well," Robert smiled, "Can you ask Elliot if I can take you to the counter and get you an ice cream cone?"

"Really?" he grinned and touched Elliot, "Can I?"

"Yep." Elliot smiled happy that, while it seemed that Samuel's communication with men was going to be rough, it was easily dealt with once he understood the person could be trusted. Elliot wondered how the young boy managed to talk to him in the gym that day, but he supposed he would be fine without knowing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I suppose they're doing it, huh?" Munch asked Fin as he walked back into the interview room after noticing Cragen and Casey had left.

"Looks that way." Fin murmured flipping through the files that Cragen had left him to study.

"Do you care?" Munch asked flopping down in the chair.

Fin looked up immediately, "I'm gonna pretend that I didn't hear you say something that stupid."

"Pretend all you want…you and I both know its wrong." Munch said peering over his glasses to see that Fin was furrowing his brows as he read.

"Find something?" John Asked.

"It's more like what I'm not finding." Fin mumbled back.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm starting to think too much like you old man." Fin pinched the bridge of his nose, "This case isn't right."

"No case is right," Munch informed him, "especially the death of you're friends son."

"I don't think he's dead." Fin blurted passing the file across the table.

"In spite of all the doctor, the coroner and detectives that say he was?" Munch asked in disbelief.

"Hey," Fin scolded, "As many crappy theories I've had to hear from you about Uncle Sam, the new twenty dollar bill and Hanukah, you can at least pretend to interested in what I have to say."

"Okay." Munch shook his head, "I'm interested."

"Cause of death was fatal car accident." Fin stated.

"Yep." Munch agreed, "So."

"No skid marks." Fin said opening the file and pushing it closer to John, knowing he'd gotten his attention.

"I'm listening." Munch responded picking up the picture and noting that there was no sign of any aggressive breaking.

"The fire burned the entire car, right?" Fin asked searching for another picture.

"Yeah."

"Then why are there pictures of a baby bag and medical card, with not so much as soot on them? Smoke rises to the top the sediment would have fallen on top of the bag-"

"Unless it was placed there after the fire." Munch finished the statement. "What else?"

"No front end damage to the car…yet it was suppose to go off the road at about fifty miles an hour," He placed another photo down, "There's no statements from Casey or Robert, if I didn't know any better I'd say a monkey ran this case with it's head up his ass."

"What are you really saying here Fin?" Munch asked setting the photo's down.

"We'll, check this out," He said opening the files, "The paperwork started just like it should have, see,"

"Yeah, so?"

"You remember what the media did to Elliot and Olivia right after the wreck?"

"Yeah."

"Look at when the dates of paperwork entries stop."

Munch looked down and flipped through the file noticing the abrupt stop, "Right after the article ran."

"Yeah…the article that kicked the NYPD in the nuts." Fin reminded him.

"You're telling me that the investigation went as planned until it made the department look bad?"

"Looks that way."

"What are you getting at?" Munch asked, "You're starting to sound like me…only confusing."

"What I'm telling you is that this year is election year for chief of police…no one wants bad press and that article was definitely bad press.-"

"Fin, are you accusing the NYPD of a cover up?" Munch asked in a whisper, ducking his head as if someone could see him through the window and read his lips.

"I'm not accusing anyone of anything, but, if the shoe fits…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot carried a sleeping Samuel into the house, "Where should I put him?" He whispered.

"You made a deal that he could sleep in our bed for a week, you can't break it."

"What if he wets?" Elliot whispered.

"Then we'll deal, but he should be okay, he hasn't had anything to drink for a while." She smiled and followed them both into the room, watching the gentleness with which Elliot treated Samuel, the care that he showered him with as he took off his new Addida sneakers that matched Elliot's and pulled the blankets over his tired body.

Olivia walked to the nightstand withdrawing an item and pocketing it as Elliot placed the small shoes in the corner. She took Elliot's hand and motioned for him to be quiet as they walked through their home and out side to the deck, leaving the sliding glass door cracked in case Samuel would call for them.

"Olivi-" before he could get her name out he was cut off with the sensation of her lips against his, her hands resting behind his neck and effectively pulling him closer to her as she ran her tongue over his teeth hearing him moan at the invasion. He stepped closer to her pulling her hips into him and reaching up to caress her cheek, protesting with a groan as she separated from his lips.

"What are you doing?" he whispered against her mouth.

Olivia took a step back and looked at him retrieving a piece of paper from her pocket and holding it up between her fingers, "Seems, I'm making your fantasy… a reality."


	17. Chapter 17 You Have No Idea

Divided We Fall

Chapter 17 You Have No Idea What You've Done

"That was interesting." Olivia smiled; out of breath as she and Elliot lay naked, next to one another on the outdoor lounge chair.

"Um…I think that was an understatement." He grinned kissing her through a smile, "That kind of took me by surprise."

"I think that was kind of the point." She chuckled, nuzzling close to him, "although, it's kind of nippy out here." She smiled and tried to get up.

"Don't go." He whispered pulling her back down, her naked form against him, he pulled her knees up so that they rested by his rib cage as she lay her full weight over him, tucking her hands under his shoulders and resting her head on his chest.

"Why do you like to hold me like this?" She whispered feeling his arms wrap around her body and caress her back.

"Does it bother you?" he asked kissing the crown of her head.

She smiled against his chest, "No…not at all, in fact, I really like this, I can feel you…I'm safe."

"Want to know a secret?" he whispered into her ear.

"Yeah." She looked up at him.

"I feel…protected when you let me hold you like this."

"Protected?"

"Yeah," he blushed, "I can't explain it but that's what I feel when you cover me."

"Want to know something?" Olivia smiled.

"Yeah." He grinned reaching for his shirt and spreading it over her naked body in an effort to provide her with some warmth.

"I really expected that you were going to have some crazy…making-love-in-the-middle-of-a-crowded-restaurant type of fantasy…why did you want to make love _outside_…that's not exactly a fantasy…or is it?" she asked smiling against his lips.

"Fantasies are what you make of them." He reminded her, "I just wanted you to experience something different…a different setting."

"Elliot!" she laughed, "This is suppose to be _your_ fantasy…it's about _you_ not me!" she laughed kissing his cheek.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I like the fresh air, and the country smell mixed with you; to me it was a fantasy."

Olivia searched his face looking for any hint of playing, or trickery and finding only honesty, "Are you serious?"

"Liv," He laughed, "Maybe you don't realize it…but just seeing you come, is a fantasy in and of its self."

"Oh, shut up!" she laughed kissing his mouth and sitting up straddling his thighs.

"I'm being serious," he whispered, causing her smile to fade into something much more serious.

"Thank you." She whispered adjusting her body as he sat up in front of her, "It's cold." She blushed folding her arms over her tightening breast and then relaxing as he lowered her arms from her body.

Elliot reached up slowly, covering the tattooed handprint of his son on the curve of her breast, whispering softly, "Let me warm you."

Olivia caressed his face tenderly and allowed her self a gentle collision against his lips, savoring the moment as he made his way down her neck, tipping her body back so that her breast were available for only him, he took her nipple into his mouth and sucked slowly but provided enough pleasure to hear her moan as he released her and moved his open mouth to the ink embedded in her skin, nipping and caressing the print with his tongue and grazing a path up her rib cage to the opposite marking and resting his hand securely against it. "I miss him." He breathed against her body resting his head against her chest and feeling her straighten against him.

He caressed her back and pressed his lips against the tattoo before looking up at her, "I'm sorry, I guess, I kind of ruined it huh?"

Olivia smiled softly, "No…I miss him too." She whispered kissing him again, "I know it sounds dumb, but sometimes I have this nagging feeling that he's alive…but then I come into reality." She pressed her lips together and exhaled, "Let's talk about something else…tomorrow, we need to take Samuel to school…first day, and he already informed me that he's not looking forward to it."

"Really?" Elliot furrowed his brows and draped his shirt around her buttoning it.

"Yeah, he said the kids tease him." She frowned leaning down and picking up his pants and laying them on his chest as she removed herself from his body to slip into her own pants.

"I have noticed that he talks, more like a six year old, sometimes, then sometimes he talks like an adult." Elliot commented pulling his jeans over his body.

"That's what happens when someone robs a child of his innocence, they shut down emotionally, and at the same time grow up entirely too fast." She frowned.

"Hey," Elliot smiled tipping her chin up to look at him, "No sad faces." He smiled and kissed her gently, "Let's get some sleep, I think tomorrow is gonna be hard for Sam."

"Oh," Olivia rubbed the back of her neck, "I really hope he doesn't have a male teacher."

"Oh man," Elliot shook his head "That would be a dis-"

They froze than ran to the back of the house hearing Sam screaming through the darkness. Olivia ran blindly into the room seeing the bed empty when Elliot flipped on the lights. "Samuel?" Olivia called out and heard his cries coming from the corner.

Elliot sat on the edge of the bed knowing she had the best chance to calm him down, Sam, was fond of Elliot, but not when he was wound up, he was better off letting Olivia try to sooth him. "Samuel," she called softly, taking his hand when he reached out to her, "come here honey." She whispered pulling him into her embrace and allowing him to rest in her lap.

Olivia wrapped her arms around him and kissed the top of his head, "What's the matter honey?"

Samuel tightened his embrace, "Not alone, not alone please." He whispered into her chest.

"Is it scary to be alone?" She whispered softly stoking his sweaty hair.

"I don't like it." He sobbed into her chest.

"Sometimes I don't like to be alone either, honey." She whispered, "The trick is to know that you're not alone…that Elliot and I are right here." She rocked him softly and after several minutes of silence, motioned to Elliot to help her when he finally fell back to sleep.

Elliot crouched and gave her a kiss on the forehead, "Jump in the shower, I'll take care of him."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia squinted her eyes in the breaking light of the morning and smiled seeing a peacefully sleeping Samuel cuddled next to her and just beyond him, Elliot's boxer clad body standing in front of the mirror looking intently at his profile, from the left then the right. It wasn't until he rested his index finger along the bridge of his nose that she realized what he was doing.

Carefully, she separated herself form Samuel and smiled walking to Elliot who was so focused on his face he didn't notice her and jumped at the sound of her voice, "What are you doing?" she chuckled.

"Hmm? Me? Nothing." He blushed lowering his hands immediately and fidgeting with a hand towel he'd left on the counter after brushing his teeth.

"Looks like an interesting form of nothing." She teased him stepping into the bathroom with him and retrieving her tooth brush, "I know what you were doing." She told him playfully as she beaded toothpaste onto the toothbrush, and smiled at him.

"And what is it that I was doing detective?" He asked through a grin positioning him self behind her as she brushed her teeth and pulling her close to him causing her to laugh through the foaming paste in her mouth.

She spat and rinsed quickly, mumbling through the Listerine, "You know what you were doing."

"Busted." He finally caved looking back into the mirror as she wiped her mouth, "Well," he said lowering his index finger against his nose again, "do you think Sam is right? Do you think I have a big nose?"

Olivia chuckled and touched her hands to his face, nuzzling his nose and kissing his lips through a smile, "I think you're pretty hot…big nose and all."

"Ouch!" he laughed looking back at the mirror, "So you agree that it's too big?"

Olivia smiled devilishly and closed the gap between them, snapping the waistband of his boxers and whispering in his ear, "Not as big as some things." She winked and turned away to wake Samuel.

"Wicked, Olivia." He called after her playfully.

She turned and smiled, walking backwards, "I know…get ready, we need to get him to the school early."

Elliot shook his head retrieving the shaving cream from the cabinet as Olivia woke Sam up.

"Hey Sweetie." She whispered softly shaking his body gently and seeing him stir into reality, "Did you sleep well?"

Sam let out a tiny groan of protest for being woken but quickly smiled, "No accidents." He grinned.

"Well, then," She smiled pulling the covers back and helping him out of the bed, "I think that just might constitute a little ice cream celebration tonight…what do you say?"

"Will Elliot be there?" he asked unbuttoning the polo shirt he'd fallen asleep in.

"Sure will," Olivia assured him, handing him a clean shirt, "you're pants and boxers are on the bed Sam." She informed him as he pulled the shirt over his small frame.

Sam unbuckled his pants, "Are you turned around Olivia?"

"Absolutely Sam" She chuckled pulling her own clothes out of the closet. She was just about to ask Sam, if he'd ever had Ben and Jerry's ice cream, when Elliot walked out of the restroom.

"Hey, Liv, do you this-"

It was Samuel shriek that forced Olivia to spin around automatically as Elliot watched Sam crumble to his feet covering his exposed body by pulling his shirt down, and over his knees as he crouched and slid up against the wall, "No, no, no." he shook his head frantically side to side and rocked himself, "No, please." He pleaded.

Elliot stepped back into the restroom watching Olivia try to calm him, "Samuel," she called his name and attempted to touch his knee which only made him yell louder, "NO! NO! NO!" he shook his head pulling away from her.

"Samuel," she whispered covering his hand again, "its okay."

Samuel whispered through his falling tears as he continued to rock, "No, no, no."

"I'm not gonna hurt you honey." She assured him covering his other hand and helping him to his feet, "It's okay, Elliot went back into the restroom, I'm sorry, I should have told him you were changing." She apologized and handed the little boy his boxers, "Let's get you dressed." She whispered wiping his falling tears and allowing him to dress himself.

"Tuck." He whispered pulling his pants up and tugging at his polo to be tucked into his pants.

Olivia cautiously obliged, "Sam, honey, you know that Elliot is you're friend right?" she asked adjusting his shirt.

He nodded is head in affirmation.

"Can you tell me why you're scared of him sometimes? I know you trust him a lot to go out without you're cane…can you tell me why you're scared sometimes?"

Sam lowered his head and fidgeted nervously with the buckle of his jeans before letting out a harsh whisper, "Daddy's do bad things to their boys when they change." He took in a shuddered breath as she drew him next to her hugging him tightly.

"Not true." She whispered, "Elliot will never hurt you, I promise you…but you have to give him a chance." She encouraged him gently, "When you're ready, okay?"

Samuel pulled away shaking his head affirmatively and wiping the moisture from his face, "Can I wear my new shoes today?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hello," Olivia smiled opening the door to an empty classroom, "I'm looking for Mrs. Rosafe?"

"Speaking." The middle aged blond woman replied, "How can I help you?"

"Well," Elliot smiled leading Sam into the classroom with his cane feeling out the new territory in front of him, "Samuel here, is enrolled in you're class."

"Ah, Samuel Wilson…am I correct?" She smiled, her green eyes lighting up behind her glasses.

"Yes." Sam grinned, "I'm Samuel Wilson but Olivia and Elliot call me Sam…I like Sam." He informed her.

"Who are they?" she asked furrowing her brows at the child's mention of names.

Sam smiled and grabbed Elliot's hand and balanced his cane against his body to grab for Olivia, "Their my friends, Silly." He informed her and then blushed at Olivia's soft correction in his ear.

"Sam," She whispered, "We don't call our teachers silly, okay?"

"Sorry." He blushed.

"Oh, that's quite alright, Sam." She assured him, "Would you like to sit at your desk?"

"Yes, please." He smiled taking hold of her elbow and allowing her to lead him.

"El," Olivia whispered to him, "are you sure, we're doing the right thing putting him in a public school?"

"Alex said this teacher has had blind students before, she assured us she was the best, and Alex is only one floor down…we're doing the right thing…we can't protect him from everything Liv." He assured her as the teacher returned to them.

"So," Mrs. Rosafe smiled, "any special instructions?"

"He's not really use to men," Elliot informed her, "he does better if he's not surprised."

"You look worried." The teacher rubbed Olivia's arm, "I've had a lot of experienced with special needs children…he's gonna have fun, the school provides him with an aid to dictate to him and text books will be on audio, your only focus will be to help him with this homework." She smiled. "School let's out at three, we'll see that he has someone with him when he waits for you."

Olivia nodded and forced herself to smile, "Okay."

"Should he become agitated about anything," Elliot informed the teacher, here is my card, my wife's cell phone and our home phone is one the back, and Alex Gray is also aware that he'll be in this classroom, if you can't get him calm, please get her until we come." He informed her worriedly.

"I assure you both, he's gonna love it here."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Captain Cragen stared at the stack of files that continued to grow on his desk, and silently prayed that a hurricane or earthquake or any other act of God would reign down on the station house and rid him of the misery he was in. Perhaps he should tell Olivia and Elliot, perhaps he shouldn't…he didn't know what he should do.

"Don?" Casey called for him knocking on his office door.

"Yes, come in Casey." He said snapping out of his daze.

"I uh…I just got a call from the cemetery where Isaac is supposedly buried." She said softly.

"And?"

"Well, they know were planning to exhume on Monday…they have the heavy equipment there today from a funeral they did early this morning…they want to know if the department would prefer to do it today…get it over with." She eyed him waiting for his response.

Cragen ran his hands over his face and stood to his feat taking his jacket in had, "I'll get Munch and Fin…call Melinda."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia checked her watched and smiled knowing she'd just beaten her time by thirty-seven seconds, although she was paying the price. She gasped for air and bent over wondering if she should have pushed herself as hard as she did but when she got a smooth steady stream of Oxygen, she knew she would live.

She ran her hand through her hair, frowning at the sweat that accumulated on her hand, as she walked into an oddly quiet house. Closing the door she called softly for him, not wanting to startle him if he'd decided to take a nap, "Elliot?"

When there was no answer she toed off her sneakers, placing them in the hall closet and walked further past the foyer to see Elliot sitting silently on the couch, one ankle resting on the opposite thigh as he held a coffee mug in his hand. He stared silently at nothing, but even in the distance she could tell he was thinking a hundred things.

She closed the gap between them in silence and smiled softly removing the mug from his hands and placing it on the coffee table before curling up next to him, facing him with her hand on his thigh.

"How was your run?" He asked with a soft smile.

"I beat my time." She whispered waiting for him to tell her the real reason he was sitting in silence.

"You think Sam's okay?" he asked rubbing his thumb over his wedding band.

"I think we would already have heard if he wasn't." she assured him softly, resting her hand on his chest.

Elliot smiled, "I suppose you're right," He interlaced her fingers with his, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you think Sam is ever gonna warm up to me?"

"El, it's only been two days," she reminded him, "I think he really likes you, he wants to do everything the way you do it."

"His dad really messed him up."

"He set him back," Olivia, corrected, "He's not messed up…just set back momentarily." She smiled softly, "We knew it was gonna be hard to take in a little boy that had bee abused, but in the long run, I think it's gonna be worth it…blind faith remember?"

Elliot digested her words and then grinned, "Speaking of blind faith," he smiled covering her thigh with his hand, "can I ask another question?"

"So long as you don't have nineteen more." She teased, laughingly.

"Do you think you can be pregnant?" he asked seriously effectively shocking her.

"Um…excuse me?" She furrowed her brow in confusion, "Where did that come from?"

"You mentioned getting a pretzel at the mall yesterday…you hate pretzels, but you craved them when you were pregnant with Isaac, so I ask the question again, do you think you could be pregnant?"

She saw the hope in his eyes and it killed her to tell him it wasn't possible, "Elliot, since I was sick…I haven't had a period, the doctor said it will come in time." She whispered seeing the disappointment in his face, "I'm sorry, honey…there's no way, not right now."

Elliot exhaled, "Don't be sorry," he smiled half-heartedly, "Just means we get to keep trying, right?"

Olivia smiled and kissed him tenderly on the mouth, nibbling softly his bottom lip before separating, "I'm sorry you're disappointed," She comforted him, "But, were not using protection…it'll happen when it's suppose to."

"You looked so gorgeous when you were pregnant." He whispered.

Olivia laughed in an effort to soften the moment, "Is that your polite way of telling me I'm not looking too good these days?"

Elliot smiled and kissed the corner of her mouth, "No, it's my way of saying you looked so gorgeous when you were pregnant." He restated his position, "You're gorgeous now…but you're so gorgeous when you were carrying our son." He breathed over her lips and kissed her again, softly, then slightly harder, hoping to fill a crack in him that he couldn't seem to fill without her.

Olivia kissed him back just as earnestly, hoping to provide some sort of soothing balm to his disappointed heart. The soft moan she heard come from him as she separated her lips and kissed him once more, briefly, let her know that, while she couldn't sooth him completely, she could try. "I was thinking."

"Should I be afraid?" He teased her.

"I was thinking that…I'd like to go visit Isaac, if you'd come with me…I don't think I can alone." She whispered.

Elliot gave an understanding smile, "When would you like to go?" he asked softly.

"I was hoping…today, before we pick up Sam from school."

Elliot looked at his watch, "Well, how about you jump in the shower, I'll fix you some lunch, and we'll stop by and pick up some flowers, then go…sound like a deal?"

Olivia blinked back her tears and kissed him softly, "Deal."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Olivia's gonna kick our asses, you know that right?" Munch mumbled to Fin, as the piece of machinery made it's way closer to the gravesite.

"Yep, I'm fully aware of the wrath that woman can have." Fin said softly, whishing secretly that he had had enough balls to stand up to Cragen, maybe with two, he would have changed his mind and told Olivia.

"You knew her wrath when she was Elliot's wife, none of us has experienced her storm as a wounded mother…I hope you all understand that we may just break them both with what were doing here." He warned Fin who turned and looked back at him.

"We broke them, the very second we didn't tell them what was happening…they trust us, and look what were doing…digging up their son, without their permission, I'd like to eat my gun right now." Fin responded before turning away and staring back at the headstone, seeing the first line of one of Olivia's favorite poems, he read it to himself, "To see the world in a grain of sand." He came to the conclusion that there could no forgiveness for what he was doing in that moment.

Casey watched as the giant half moon with teeth like endings slowly lowered to the ground as a man stood in front of the yellow machinery guiding the operator to precision, "I hope we're doing the right thing." She whispered to Melinda.

"It's a little late for self doubt don't you think?" Melinda looked at her seriously.

"I just don't want to know that I might be loosing two of the best friends I've known…this is gonna kill her, and she's gonna kill us for not telling her." Casey said somberly as the metal teeth ate into the ground disturbing the tiny grave for the first time since it had been created.

Cragen looked up at the white van and exhaled knowing it would be carrying a tiny body back to the morgue to be poked, prodded…and who knew what else to find out if the baby was indeed Isaac.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia stepped out of the Mustang as Elliot closed her door behind her and took hold of her hand, "Good lunch?" He asked softly as they made their way to the flower stand.

"Yeah…stuffed." She smiled patting her stomach, "Have you noticed that I love to eat?" she chuckled.

"No, but my wallet has." He teased her feeling her play punch him in the arm.

"Hey, Elliot!" An older man waved from behind a plastic table covered in flowers of various sorts.

Olivia looked at Elliot in surprise, "You know him?"

"Yeah." He shrugged and addressed the man. "How are you today Mr. Byrum?" Elliot shook his hand.

"Good." The older man with white hair smiled and offered his hand for a shake "Thought you'd be here on Friday like usual, what brings you by?" he asked.

"I'd like you to meet my wife, Mr. Byrum, this is Olivia, Olivia, Mr. Byrum." Elliot introduced them.

"Oh," Mr. Byrum lowered his voice, "I'm so sorry about you're boy." He whispered rubbing her hand softly and then releasing when Elliot addressed him.

"I'll take the usual, Mr. Byrum." Elliot informed him as he pulled his wallet out of his pocket digging around for cash.

"The usual?" Olivia furrowed her brow, watching as the older man turned to gather whatever the usual was.

"Oh, yes Ma'am." Mr. Byrum said with a smile as he dug around the flowers, "For months now, Elliot has been coming here and buying exactly seven yellow daisy flowers." He smiled wrapping the flowers delicately in a thin green tissue paper, "Every Friday, without fail…I have to remember to keep them on order now." He smiled and handed the flowers to Elliot who was trying hard not to look at Olivia's shocked face.

"Here you are Mr. Byrum." Elliot extended the five dollar bill to which the man refused to take, "No, Elliot." He said softly and motioned to Olivia whose tears were evident, "This time, it's on me."

"Thank you." Elliot smiled in appreciation of the gesture.

Olivia sniffled and tried to gain her composure, "Thank you, Mr. Byrum." She nodded her head in gratitude and turned to leave with Elliot, when the older gentleman called for her.

"Olivia?"

"Yes?" She furrowed her brow slightly, wondering what one stranger could need to say to another.

"Elliot tells me he would have been a good boy…after seeing you, I believe he would have." He smiled and simply turned around to finish his work.

Olivia slid into the passenger seat of the car and sat silently as Elliot began to pull away from the small flower stand. She stared down at the daisies noting that there were exactly seven just as the man had said. "Why didn't you ever say anything?" she asked him resting her hand on his thigh, "Why every Friday? Why seven daisies?" she asked, not angry but slightly in awe, of how he could handle the site of their son's grave every week, when she never wanted to see it again.

"I didn't say anything," He began to answer her as they headed to the cemetery, "because I didn't want you to feel bad for not coming…I know it kills you to think about him being there."

Olivia nodded her head and sniffled as she held up the small flowers silently asking him to answer her other questions.

"I go every Friday, just before my A.A meetings…it keeps me in perspective, forces me to know I have to stay sober, and there are seven daisies," He covered her hand with his as they pulled into the front gate of the cemetery, "because we had him for seven months."

Olivia squeezed his hand and turned gazing out the window at the headstones that seemed to be ongoing into the horizon. As Elliot followed the winding road she noticed a white van in the distance and a large piece of machinery being operating, "Isn't that the coroner van?" she asked pulling her sunglasses down and squinting her eyes.

"Looks that way." Elliot furrowed his brows, "That's Warner's car." He pointed.

"Isn't that Fin's" Olivia asked suspiciously.

"Wow," Elliot smiled, "We must be missing a good case." He said as he slowed the car, knowing his son's gave was in the same area. He pulled the car to the curb and when there was no response to his remark he looked at Olivia who's color had drained from her face as she stared ahead, mouth open, eyes wide with fear, anger and complete hurt.

Elliot followed her gaze, "What is it-?" he gasped seeing the two men in windbreakers rolling a gurney to the back of the van.

"Elliot." She could barely find her voice, "That's Isaac's casket."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Oh shit." Munch said instantly, "I knew that I recognized the sound of that car."

"What are you talking about now?" Fin asked agitated then turned to see the Silver Mustang parked along the edge with two very shocked people slowly exiting the vehicle and staring at the site of their supposed best friends standing before their son's disturbed grave as if he were simply just another case, as if they were simply just another statistic instead of their colleagues and friends…family.

"What the hell?" Casey's eyes widened seeing Olivia push her sunglasses to the top of her head as she stared at the men sliding the tiny casket into the sterile van.

"Oh, no." Melinda turned seeing Elliot's jaw clench as he and Olivia stood by the front wheels of the car on either side.

Cragen turned seeing the two people he loved more than anything looking as if they had just found out Isaac died, "Oh, God, help me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" Elliot barked turning one of the coroner's around sharply and slamming him against the van, "Who said you could do this to my son!" he barked, "Answer me Damnit!" he shoved him again.

"CAPTAIN?" Olivia yelled finally spotting the man who was suppose to love her like a child, yet the very fact that he was witnessing the degrading act of disturbing her son was undeniable in this instance.

Elliot released the man, the minute he heard Olivia's discovery. "Cragen?" he furrowed his brows and turned, "FIN? MUNCH?" he shook his head, "Somebody start talking!" He yelled feeling as though his head may burst from the force that came from him, "NOW!"

"Elliot," Cragen spoke compassionately, "we have new evidence." He blurted not even attempting to soften a blow or back track…there was nothing he could do, except tell the truth.

"Evidence for what?" Olivia snapped impatiently looking back and seeing the coffin of her son.

"Olivia, we have evidence that suggest Isaac may not be dead." Cragen said evenly.

"WHAT!" She screeched, "What the hell? When?"

"Does it matter when?" he asked.

Elliot growled, "How long have you been sitting on this?"

"Christmas." Cragen whispered in shame.

"CHRISTMAS!" Olivia growled, "Why didn't you say something?" she pleaded for an answer and stood shaking her head in disbelief, "Why?"

"Olivia," he reached out to her and she pulled away quickly.

"Why, who…what's going on?" She asked as Elliot seethed next to her trying to avoid the casket he knew to contain his son's body.

"We didn't want to hurt you if we were wrong," Cragen began, "We, lov-"

Olivia swung in a split second landing her fist flush across the chin of a man she once loved like a father, she watched him stumble back and pat the blood from his lip. He starred at her shocked, "Oliv-"

Olivia raised her hand telling him to save whatever he was going to say, she pointed angrily not just at Cragen but the entire group and clenched her jaw through her tears, "You have no idea what you've done."


	18. Chapter 18 Ah, Now Thats Interesting

Divided We Fall

Chapter 18 Ah, Now That's Interesting

Watching his wife hunched over on the side of the road, vomiting relentlessly until the dry heaves cramped her already tired and aching ribs, wasn't what Elliot thought would be happening today. He had envisioned taking Sam to school for the first time and spending the day with Olivia, spending time talking and working on communicating, discussing what would be the best way to help Samuel relax a little better. He never envisioned he would be holding his shaking wife in his arms, unconcerned that his shirt would be stained with traces of her vomit.

He felt her hold him tighter than he could recall her ever doing, in fact, he now realized how uncomfortable it must have been when held onto her so tightly, out of fear, or in her case today, dare he say, overwhelming desperation and grief.

"Olivia," he whispered, "I love you, understand that…know that."

He held her knowing life was unfair to her, knowing that a scab was finally starting to form over the wound their son's death…could he call it that now? Whatever happened to his son, whatever he could call it, it had left a wound that was finally starting to heal, yet today, he'd seen it brutally torn from her flesh releasing a crimson flow of pain and hurt.

Olivia pulled back gently smoothing her hands over his shirt in a desperate attempt to calm herself. She searched frantically for a solid voice, but could find only a shaky tone, "I know…I'm so sorry Elliot."

"Sorry?" He furrowed his brows and wiped her mouth gently with a handkerchief from his pocket, "Why would you need to be sorry?"

"Elliot…I think I might have just lost my job." She reminded him, "I shouldn't have done that."

"I think he understands." Elliot whispered.

The tears came again, "What if that's not Isaac?" she sobbed leaning into his chest again, "What if he's alive?"

Elliot held her safely in his arm, "Then we have hope that one day we'll see our son again."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Did they find Olivia and Elliot yet?" Melinda asked slipping the crowbar between the coffin lid and applying enough pressure for it to open with a creaking pop.

"No." Casey whispered.

"Cragen okay?" Melinda asked, "I hope he's not planning on disciplinary action."

"No, no he's not." Casey muttered, "Fin and Munch jumped down his throat as soon as Olivia and Elliot sped off." She exhaled, "The look on her face…" her voice trailed off.

"Casey," Melinda looked at her, "we need to figure out if this baby is Isaac or not, if it is Isaac, then yeah, Olivia and Elliot will probably move to the west coast just to get away from us…but if it isn't…then that may be our only saving grace."

"We betrayed them." Casey stated scolding both Warner and herself, "She's been betrayed all of her life and, we just added to it...I added to it."

"Casey, put this on…I'm ready to remove the cadaver." Melinda said motioning for her to put on a surgical mask, as Donovan helped her remove the tiny, and badly decomposed body, "We all want Olivia and Elliot to be happy and in order to do that, they're gonna need time," she informed her as they gently placed the body on the examination table, "to absorb what is happening…it's a big blow even to two people as strong willed as they are."

"Recorder?" Donovan asked suggesting they should probably have a recording of her findings.

"Yes, and I want you taking notes as well." She informed him as they began their work.

"Melinda," Casey asked looking down at the body and feeling her intestines twist, knowing it could just as easily be Addison laying in front of her, "can you tell an infant's sex by the pelvic bone?"

Melinda shook her head, "No, pelvic bones don't become a distinguishing feature between the two sexes until puberty when the hormones and growth spurts begin to take over and form the body."

"So," Casey furrowed her brow, "what are we looking for…the report said no suitable DNA." She reminded her.

"Yep," Melinda responded looking carefully at the head of the infant, "the original report did say that…but at this point, I don't trust anything the _origina_l report says." She reached for a pair of over sized tweezers, "I'm making my own damn report." She muttered to herself looking through a giant round magnifying glass and carefully removing an object, holding it up to Casey with a smile, "No suitable DNA, my ass."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia stared at the floorboard of the Mustang, looking at her Addida sneakers and sighing as her tears built up. "We have to pick up Sam…we're gonna be late." She whispered wiping a tear with the back of her hand.

"Liv," He held her hand between his, "I'm sure if we call Alex, she'll bring him to the house…give us some time to be alone." He suggested.

Olivia sniffled and shook her head, speaking softly, "No, if we don't show up, it will scare him, we can't do that to him."

"He likes Alex."

"El," She looked at him and squeezed his hand, "We're either gonna love him like he's ours or were not…we have to look out for him now too, it's not just about us anymore."

"Are you sure you want to?" he asked again, "You don't have too, I can call someone to pick him up."

"Elliot," she smiled softly, "He's a bright little boy, he's gonna pick up on it, we may as well just face it."

Elliot shook his head softly and kissed the corner of her mouth tenderly, "Okay."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What is that?" Casey squinted her eyes at the object Melinda held in the tweezers.

"Hair." She said confidently.

"I thought the body was burned beyond recognition." Casey asked in confusion.

"Hair and fingernails can grow for weeks after time of death." Donovan chimed in as he wrote on the clipboard.

"Then we can match DNA." Casey looked at Melinda wide-eyed.

Dr. Warner smiled, "Casey, I can Match DNA, tell you the sex of this infant, and about a million other things."

"How long?" Casey asked.

Donovan Chimed in again, seeing that Melinda was paying particular attention to a small section of the corpse, "Usually about a month, but I'm sure we can expedite, maybe a couple of weeks."

"Ah," Melinda said out loud as she looked closer at the bone structure of the infant, "now, that's interesting."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"He's waiting at the steps with," Elliot squinted his eyes in the sunlight, "Alex and Mrs. Rosafe, I'll get him."

"No." She shook her head and slipped on her sunglasses, "Your shirt is stained with puke." She whispered opening the door, "I don't want Mrs. Rosafe thinking badly of us already."

"Liv-" he tried to stop her from leaving the car.

"Elliot, if I don't get him like I told him I would, he'll know something is off and you know as well as I do he doesn't like it when he's surprised." She reminded him, "I'm okay." She lied, smiling softly and closing the door.

Elliot watched her body language switch instantly from hurt mother to detective; it was a defense mechanism she used to get by…at great costs. Olivia watched Samuel talk to Mrs. Rosafe as he held Alex's hand. He was smiling, having a good time with women almost five times his age. Olivia smirked to herself and ran her hand through her hair taking a deep breath and exhaling as she approached.

Samuel stopped talking immediately, and trained his ear to the distance in front of him, furrowing his brow and listening carefully as Olivia walked up the steps, "Hi, Samuel!" she squeaked, unable to find her voice, for fear she would crack. She kept her focus on Sam knowing Alex caught the break in her voice and was eyeing her curiously.

"Did you have fun today, Sam?" Olivia asked with a fake smile to entertain the onlookers as she tickled his sides lightly.

Sam giggled at her touch, "Yeah, lots…I got homework, will you and Elliot help?" he asked.

"Sounds like a deal." She said in a whisper, unable to offer anything else. She felt the stare of both friend and acquaintance and she wished that she'd sent Elliot to get him after all.

"Olivia." Sam furrowed his brows, "Are you sad?" he asked softly.

Olivia crouched in front of him, "Nope," she lied again, "I'm just peachy, ready for home? Elliot is waiting in the car for us."

"Ready." He smiled loosening his grip on Alex's hand and reaching for Olivia.

Alex stepped closer and rested her hand on Olivia's forearm, "Olivia…what is it?" she searched her face, strained to see her eyes through the sunglasses; the sunlight let her know she was holding back tears.

"Nothing." Olivia smiled and turned to walk with Sam when Mrs. Rosafe interrupted.

"Olivia," She walked to catch up with her.

"Yes?" Olivia stopped and looked past Mrs. Rosafe to see that Alex was also approaching, a look of worry on her face, "My husband is waiting for us." Olivia said, not sure if she could hold up her façade any longer.

"I just wanted to tell you what a joy it is to have Samuel in my class…he's a special boy." The jovial woman grinned, "He's a little behind in some areas, but he's bright and I think he'll catch up with a lot of help at home."

Olivia swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat and tried to maintain her composure that was slowly slipping away, "What can we do to help him along?"

"His vocabulary is a little small…word exercises are great," the woman suggested, "He still doesn't know his times tables, but on the opposite end of the spectrum, I've never seen a youngster so into literature…he's a special boy Olivia, you're lucky to have him." She smiled, "I have to get going, we have a meeting."

"Thank you." Olivia smiled honestly appreciative of the advice, "We'll start working on that when we get home."

"Olivia." Alex stepped closer again, "if you need me-"

"I know." Olivia cut her off and smiled half-heartedly, "I have to get Sam home." She said turning with him and leading him to the Mustang.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Olivia, can we still have ice cream tonight…I didn't have an accident." Sam said with smile as the three filed into the house. Olivia was a little surprised at how quickly he'd learned the layout of the living room and kitchen, he was a little hesitant toward the back of the house but she knew if she'd given him time he'd have it down.

"I promised you, we would." She smiled sadly unsure if she was starting to break, but suspecting she was as she watched him walk independently through the house and sit on the couch, "long day Sam?"

"School is long," He yawned and rested his head on the arm of the couch, "Mrs. Rosafe is nice, Alex let me have lunch in her classroom, and Crystal is my partner, she sounds pretty." He yawned again and didn't offer anything else before falling asleep, except a groggy, "I got homework."

Elliot approached Sam's tired body and stretched his legs across the couch cushion before pulling the blanket from the back of the couch and draping it over him. He turned his attention back to Olivia who was running her hand through her hair, looking away, for anything that would take her mind off of what happened only hours ago.

Elliot stepped closer, giving a compassionate smile, "That kid falls asleep faster than anyone I know." He whispered, then opened his arms for her when she started to close the distance between them. He held in her silence, although he could have sworn he heard the war between her heart and mind, she was trying desperately not to disassociate herself from the pain, she was struggling to wade through this hell, hoping that if she didn't struggle, if she just let the pain come, then she wouldn't sink in the quicksand.

Suddenly, without warning she pulled back and wiped her tears, "I have to go."

"What?" Elliot asked in confusion, "We need to talk this through Olivia."

Olivia took the keys from the counter, and spoke through tears, "Sam's teacher said he was behind, I gotta go get him…books or something." She said furrowing her brows, not exactly sure what she was doing, but knowing she had to go.

"Liv-"

"If he's scared when he wakes up let him call me." She said walking out the door, leaving Elliot alone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Captain Cragen sat in his chair, disgusted with himself and running his hands over his face and wincing at the pain in his jaw, _girl's got a mean hook_, _fast too _he thought to himself, massaging the ping of pain away. _What have I done to them? _

"Captain?"

Cragen looked up sharply to see Fin and Munch standing in the doorway of his office, "If you're hear to tell me I was wrong, save your breath…I already know."

"Yeah," Munch pursed his lips, "too bad it took her right hook to tell you."

"What do you want?" Cragen asked defeated, unwilling to remind John that he was still his commanding officer, although he knew he didn't deserve to wear a badge that protected is crew, when he just demonstrated a willingness to hurt them.

"Well," Munch peered over his glasses, "it seems that my charisma is rubbing off on Rico Suave, here," he pointed to Fin who was already glaring at him, "he's got a ridiculous theory to run by you."

"Ridiculous?" Cragen furrowed his brow looking at Munch, "you're tell me that Fin's theory is ridiculous?"

"I'm sensing ridicule in the air." Munch said sarcastically.

"John," Cragen smiled faintly, "Ridiculous is when you think that the government puts radon in the water supply to slowly poison the elderly, so the younger can have access to social security."

"It's plausible." Munch shrugged.

"Yeah, just not probable," Fin smacked his lips at disgust of both men, "how about we focus on the fact that Benson and Stabler probably have us in their crosshairs right now."

Cragen shook his head knowing Fin was right.

"Aren't they suppose to be coming back to work soon?" Munch asked out of curiosity.

"Two months." Cragen answered.

Fin stood and tossed the files onto Cragen's desk, "Well, then, we've got two months to find out what the hell is going on."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Robert padded across the carpeted floor of their home and embraced Alex from behind as she stood at the counter preparing play dough for her kindergarten class. "You seem a little preoccupied." He whispered kissing the contour of her neck.

"I'm making play dough, for the kids." She responded leaning against him, but careful not to touch him with her doughy hands.

"It's not fair." He smiled, reaching for the hand towel and gently wiping her hands for her.

"What's not fair?" she asked in a low whisper as he wiped her hands gently at the webbing and then softly in the middle of her palm, the sensation making her heart race just a tiny bit faster.

"The kids get to play all day with you at school," he informed her pulling her blond hair away from her collar and nibbling gently before whispering into her ear, "When can I play with you, Alex?"

She blushed and turned around to face him, the look of totally desire flooding his eyes, wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled playfully, "Depends on what time recess is."

"Now?" he smiled bringing her waist against hers, "You can play on my monkey bar if you want." He smiled suggestively.

Alex laughed at the remark and playfully kissed his lips, "Only if you to play on m-"

The sound of the phone caused her to growl in frustration, she looked over and squinted to read the caller I.D. "That's Elliot's cell." She said slowly pulling away from Robert's embrace.

"I think he just waits until we're worked up and then calls for fun." Robert smiled and exhaled.

"Olivia was upset this afternoon, but she wouldn't say what was up." Alex informed him as she picked up the phone. "Gray residents, this is Alex…wow wow…calm down…Elliot it's only five O'clock…THEY WHAT!" She screeched into the phone causing Robert to furrow his brows and listen a little more carefully.

"Yeah…but tell him, I don't want him to be surprised…alright…as soon as we can." Alex hung up the phone and turned to quickly collide her lips with her husbands, she fought to gain entrance and when he complied she invaded him slowly and gently sucked on the tip of his tongue then nipped at his lower lip as she separated, "We have to go."

Robert smiled, "Some how I figured that, I hope he doesn't make this a habit." He laughed, "What's going on?"

Alex grabbed the keys from the hook next to the door, "Elliot can't find Olivia."

"What?" He asked picking up his jacket and tossing hers to her as they walked out of their home.

"Apparently Cragen and the rest of the crew have suspected…and have proof, that Isaac might still be alive and they didn't tell them."

"Oh no…Olivia is gonna be pissed."

"Well, apparently, she punched Cragen." She informed them as they got into their vehicle.

"Why on earth did she do that?" He asked wide-eyed.

"Well," Alex said starting the car and placing it in reverse, "can you image her surprise when she went to visit her son's grave," she continued placing the car in first and slowly taking off, "and instead of a peaceful scene, she sees the majority of her best friends standing around the grave as the coroner is exhuming, what she thinks, is her son's body."

"Oh, no, Al, tell me you're pulling my chain." He said shaking his head in disbelief.

"I wish I was…did you bring money?"

"I have some, why?" he asked at the sudden shift in conversation.

"Elliot asked us to stay with Sam, and when he realizes Olivia isn't there…were gonna need a lot of ice cream."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia sat under the tree and placed the bag of books she purchased at her side. She hadn't called home, and in fact, she'd turned her cell phone off. She knew she shouldn't do that in case Sam woke up wanting her, but frankly she didn't want to deal with anyone right now. She wanted to sit under the tree that she and Elliot had a picnic under that first time they'd gone on a date, she wanted to sit under the tree that she came to after she found out she was pregnant with Isaac. She wanted to sit and watch the world fade to black.

Olivia knew that wasn't going to happen when a young girl, perhaps six or seven, walked curiously over to her. Olivia wiped her tears quickly, knowing that it must seem strange for a child to see an adult crying under a tree.

The little girl stood in front of her letting her strawberry red hair blow gently with the wind, "What's you're name?" she asked with a bright voice.

Olivia smiled softly at the innocence of the girl, "Honey, you shouldn't talk to strangers."

"Mommy say's when people are sad we should be with them." She informed her with bright green eyes.

"Your mommy seems very loving, where is she?" Olivia asked a little concerned to the see the child was away from her parents.

"She died when I was five, I'm six now…my Daddy hugs me when I cry and whispers things in my ear that make me smile when I want to have mommy back."

Before Olivia could inquire as to the location of the girl's father, the tiny red head crouched down and hugged Olivia tightly, "He doesn't break bruised reeds." She whispered before giving a final squeeze and letting a shocked and confused Olivia go, "I have to go back to daddy before he worries about me." She informed her and simply walked away as gently as she had approached.

Olivia watched her carefully as she mulled over what the young girl had said, she wasn't quite sure what it meant, but the youngster had said in with such confidence and comfort that Olivia knew she had to understand the meaning, she just wished the green eyed girl would have told her.

Deciding the tall red haired man she trotted off to was indeed her father, Olivia turned back around and rested her head against the bark of the tree, painting her life on a black canvass that showed her nothing but darkness.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I woke him up and told him that you were coming, he was pretty excited." Elliot smiled. "He started listening to his history book and fell asleep again." He informed them scrambling for his jacket and keys then ran his hand over his face, and mumbling to himself, "I've got no clue where to look for her."

Alex put the ice cream sandwiches in the freezer and watched as Robert tried to comfort Elliot. "You're wife is a strong woman Elliot."

"There's only so much someone can take." Elliot told him rubbing his neck, "I have no clue where she would be, the book store already closed, she should have been back by now and she's not picking up her phone…that's not her style." He shook his head.

"Well," Robert folded his arms and smiled softly, "Let's think about it, she's independent, strong, sentimental, doesn't drink so that rules out the bars." He smiled softly seeing Elliot laugh,

"If I caught her in a bar after all the lectures she's given me about me drinking…I'd have to kill her." He blushed then it hit him, he knew exactly where she was, "I'm gonna get going, thank you both so much for helping me and if Sam wakes up let him know he call me okay?"

"Alright, let us know when you find her." Alex informed him as she stood next to Robert, "She's gonna be okay." She assured him as he walked out muttering a good bye.

Robert kissed the top of Alex's head as he embraced her, "Olivia has got to be in so much pain."

Alex shook her head and exhaled, "We can only imagine."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What's interesting?" Donovan asked anxiously.

"Yeah, what's interesting?" Casey asked inching her way closer to the body and willing herself not to vomit. She never could understand how Elliot and Olivia put up with the dead bodies they saw everyday, she never understood how Melinda could work on savagely mutilated corpses, she occasionally lost her lunch just looking at the photos when she prepared cases, and she wasn't exactly appreciating the view she was getting right now.

"Donovan," Melinda motioned for him to look where she pointed, "look at that."

"Holy shi-"

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Melinda responded.

"What," Casey shook her head, "What did you think?"

Melinda pulled the movable magnifying glass over the charred body, "Look, see that?" she pointed to the sternum bone of the remains.

"Yeah, what? That nick?" Casey asked a little confused.

"Not a nick…a graze." Donovan corrected.

"Why is that interesting?" Casey asked in frustration, the smells were starting to get to her and now she was looking at a sight she didn't want to see through a magnifying glass.

"See the curvature of the graze?"

"Yeah." Casey shook her head.

"She how the bone splintered?" Melinda pointed with the tip of her finger.

"Yeah, what does it mean?"

Melinda braced herself against the table, "It means that if this baby _is_ Isaac…he was shot."

"What?" Casey whispered feeling the vomit rise in her throat, she turned quickly and pulled the mask away from her face, only to get a stronger whiff of the odor, Donovan got to her quickly and held out a pale just as she vomited.

"You okay?" Melinda asked after Casey settled herself and returned the mask to her face.

"I'm looking at an infant who was shot and burned…I'll never be okay," She shook her head, "Let's get this over with."

"It is over." Melinda smiled confidently, "I can't tell you officially, but I'd bet my house that this isn't Isaac, there's just one problem."

"What?" Casey furrowed her brows.

"It's not Johanna Little either."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot watched his wife from a distance pull her knees closer to her body in an attempt to warm her self as she sat under the tree. He called Alex and Robert and let them know he'd found her, but wasn't sure when they'd be home. They were more than gracious, telling him to take his time and be gentle with her. He smiled as he pocketed the phone and walked over to her.

He nudged the bag of books with his sneaker and smiled, "I see you bought the place out huh? Anything interesting?"

Olivia looked up immediately at the sound of his voice, she furrowed her brows in shock, "H…how did you know?"

Elliot crouched and sat beside her, slipping off his jacket and wrapping it over her, "You told me this is where you went when you found out you were pregnant." He smiled, "I gave it a try."

Olivia swallowed and offered a faint smile, "Vocabulary Builders for Kids and Mathematics Made Easy."

"Huh?" Elliot furrowed his brows.

"The books…you asked." She leaned her head on his shoulder, letting him hold her, warm her and sooth her, "His teacher said he's a little behind, that we've got to help him at home."

Elliot exhaled against her hair, knowing she was trying to refocus her energy and attention on anything and everything else at the moment, "Olivia, tell me how I can help you."

"I want to hold my son." She blurted softly against his chest, "I want to change his diaper and lay him down to sleep…if that's not Isaac…then somebody else is laying him down."

"Liv-"

"Somebody else is feeding our son, changing his diaper…and rocking him to sleep," she started to cry and clutched him tightly, "If he's even alive at all."

"Olivia," he spoke softly stroking her hair gently, "You can't think like this…we don't even know for sure yet, you're gonna stress your self out thinking this way."

Olivia let a sob escape her lips, as much as she tried to hide it, she was loosing control, loosing her ability withstand blow after blow, to keep it bottled inside, "I feel so bad." She whispered.

Elliot nuzzled closer to her body, "Tell me why you feel bad, Liv."

Olivia looked up at him with glassy eyes then suddenly frowned and looked around, "Where's Samuel?"

"Alex and Robert are watching him, I told him they would be, he did some homework and went back to sleep before they got there." He assured her. Elliot reached up and touched her cheek, "Tell me, Liv."

Olivia raised her hand and covered his bringing his open palm to her lips and kissing him gently, "You'll think less of me."

"No." he disagreed and kissed her mouth softly, "Nothing you can do would make me think less…it's okay to tell me, Olivia, I love you and nothing you say will change that."

Olivia licked her lips and bit her bottom one in nervousness, "There is a part of me…that is willing to sell everything I have, even my soul, for Isaac to still be alive, but…" She closed her eyes and swallowed hard, wiping her tears and sniffling, "there is another part of me that knows it's gonna be so much harder if he's alive and we don't know where he is." Her voice broke as she leaned back into him, "What if he's hungry and they're not feeding him? Cold and they're not clothing him right…what if they're always laying him on his back instead of his side?" she shook her head trying to get the images out of her mind.

Elliot held her tightly, battling his own tears and then finally releasing them, "I'm scared of that too, Liv."


	19. Chapter 19 Bruised Reeds

Divided We Fall

Chapter 19 Bruised Reeds

"Are they upset?" Olivia asked Elliot as they stood in front of the front door to their home. It was nearly midnight, and after hours of talking with one another, after hours of 'what ifs' Elliot finally managed to calm her enough to bring her back home.

"Worried maybe, but definitely not upset…we've got good friends Liv." He reminded her and gave her a gentle squeeze on the hand.

"They're gonna ask a million questions aren't they?" she whispered stalling for time, still not ready to go in.

"Alex is a good person, she knows us…she's not going to invade our space unless she thinks it's for our benefit." He assured her.

"You're confident." She responded dryly looking at the door as if it were some force to be reckoned with.

"Olivia," Elliot turned her to face him and kissed her lips softly before surrounding her tiny waist with her hands, "She took care of you when I couldn't…she's more than okay in my book."

"Well, then," She smiled faintly, "let's get this over with, I miss Samuel."

"Really?" Elliot grinned.

"Yeah." She smiled back, "I really like that little boy, he's probably asleep though."

"Liv?"

"Yeah?" she furrowed her brows at the seriousness of his face.

"Can we make a promise to each other right here…right now?" he asked stepping closer, searching her eyes.

"What promise?"

"I promise you, I'll come to you when things get too rough and I want to drink, if you promise me, you'll come to me when you want to keep things bottled up, promise me you'll eat."

"As long as it's not Ensures, I'll eat…and I promise to come to you, when things get too rough." She assured him.

Elliot held up his pinky and grinned, "Can I get a pinky swear on that?"

Olivia's eyes darted between his lips and eyes as she inched closer, "I can give you something better than a pinky swear."

"Yeah, what?" he whispered back just as she took his lip into her mouth and sipped gently before releasing him from her captivity.

"That." She smiled and exhaled, "Were in for it aren't we?" She asked starring into his eyes and noticing that even in the midst of what they were preparing for, his eyes still sparkled.

"Yeah." He spoke somberly, "Think we'll make it?"

"No doubt…you?"

"None." He smiled and opened the door to their home, allowing her to walk in first as he followed.

"Hey," Alex smiled seeing Olivia and Elliot coming into the living room, exhausted, but seemingly ready for anything, "I'm glad you're okay…someone was worried about you." Alex pointed to Sam who was starting to stand from the couch.

"Olivia?" Sam called for her, walking cautiously to the sound of her voice.

"Right here, Sam." She held her hands out to him and crouched to give him a tight hug, what's wrong honey?" she asked feeling his body start to shudder a sure mark he was crying. Although he wouldn't answer she was sure that waking up and not finding her, then probably calling and not being able to reach her, all combined with having Alex and Robert watching him, was probably a little too much. "I'm sorry I didn't answer my phone." She whispered and felt him clutch her tighter a sure indication that he had tried to call her.

When Sam still didn't answer she pushed him back softly to look at his face, "Did you have fun with Alex and Robert?"

"He hasn't said a word since he woke up." Alex whispered, "Although," She smiled, "Robert did manage to teach him a little chess."

"Chess?" Olivia smiled back at Sam, "Did you like chess?"

"He has the pieces memorized." Robert smiled at Olivia who looked sadly at Samuel, wondering if the trust they had with Samuel might have been destroyed with her selfishness. "He understands the layout of the board, but won't play." Robert tossed Alex her coat.

Elliot fumbled for his wallet and finally retrieved it, "Is sixty okay?" he asked them both.

"Put that away." Robert frowned, "We came because you asked and we wanted to, nothing more, nothing less."

Alex rubbed Elliot's arm in a friendly touch; "We want to help you with Sam any way we can," She smiled at him, "As friends…not employees"

Elliot blushed and put his wallet away, then frowned seeing Samuel walk silently away from Olivia and down the hallway to the room. Olivia stood and shook her head before walking Alex and Robert to the door, "Sorry to keep you two up late, I know some of us still work." She teased.

"Not a problem." Robert assured her giving her a warm embrace, "we're here at any hour you need us." He informed her before letting go and shaking Elliot's hand.

As Robert opened the door to step onto the porch Alex gave Elliot a gentle hug and then embraced Olivia tightly, "We love you guys very much, and if you need me Liv…I'm only a phone call away."

Olivia gave a soft squeeze, "Thank you, so much…for everything."

"You got a sweet boy there," Alex informed them as she let her go, "He was just worried about you…he'll come around, there's extra ice cream in the freezer." She smiled and took Robert's hand as they left.

"I really messed up." Olivia shook her head as Elliot closed the door.

"No you didn't, like Alex said, he'll come around." Elliot assured her as they walked down the hall to the bedroom.

Elliot and Olivia watched from the doorframe as Samuel lye in the center of the bed. "Hey Sam," Olivia spoke softly as they entered the room, "I see you got your pajamas on all by your self…good job."

Sam lye quiet, no smile, no giddy big boy remarks. Olivia shook her head softly acknowledging her mistake and the consequences that came with it. She retrieved her own pajamas from the foot of the bed and met Elliot in the restroom to change.

"Kinda weird changing in here, huh?" Elliot smiled trying to soften the pain she was experiencing.

"I promised him we wouldn't change in front of him and he didn't have to change around us unless he needed help…I don't want to scare him again." She informed Elliot as he slipped into his boxers and pulled an 'A' shirt over his body.

"You gonna get dressed?" Elliot asked gently.

"I dropped the ball on him." She exhaled, "How could I have done that?"

"Liv," Elliot embraced her from behind and kissed her neck gently, "stop beating you're self up, we're entitled to mistakes, he loves you too much to hate you, he'll come around."

Olivia leaned back into his strength and exhaled, "I'm so tired."

Elliot rested his hand at the hem of her shirt, "Let me help you get dressed?"

Olivia smiled softly at his tenderness and raised her hands slowly overhead, exhausted, frustrated and self-loathing. He pulled the fabric off gently as she faced away from him, but he knew she was crying silently. "Don't worry about him right now, he's gonna love you in the morning." He whispered standing as close to her back as possible and delicately unclasping her bra strap.

"I don't want to hurt him." She whispered feeling his hands slide up her back and gently push the straps down, allowing the soft pink fabric to fall to the floor. "You haven't hurt him, maybe caused a little scare…but I assure you, you didn't hurt him." He whispered helping her into the t-shirt and pulling it gently down around her body.

Olivia toed off her sneakers, "I ju-"

"No more talking Olivia, you're a good woman, know that." He comforted her as he stood flush against her, pulling back her hair and kissing her neck softly as his hands returned to her waistband. He unbuckled them gently and pushed them down, allowing her to step out of them before he grabbed her flannel pants and helped her into them.

"You're a beautiful woman, Olivia." He smiled turning her to face him, "You're a sexy wife, and," he grinned, "You make a pretty spiffy foster parent."

Olivia blushed, "You're pretty spankin' spiffy yourself."

"Spankin?" he grinned nuzzling his nose against hers and kissing her delicately on the lips, "I'm not even gonna go there."

"Good," she smiled, "Cause I need to go to bed." She laughed softly and kissed him chastely on the mouth before gathering up their clothes and tossing them into the hamper.

As she opened the door to walk out into the bedroom he took her by her hand, "Olivia,"

"Hmm?"

"What happened this afternoon," He said referring to the cemetery, "We're gonna get through it."

Olivia shook her head in agreement and gave him a gentle squeeze of the hand before he slid into the bed on one side of Samuel, who moved still awake. Olivia slid in on the other side of him and waited for him to curl up next to her, only to have her heart sink when he quickly rolled to Elliot. She took a deep breath and forced a smile; happy for Elliot and Samuel to be able to bond, but sad knowing he would normally cuddle up to her, "I love you Sam." She reached out and touched him softly before bringing her hand back to her lonely body.

Elliot watched her downcast face and slid his feet over to hers, tangling them together and watching her smile at him. He winked and mouthed the words 'I love you.'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia found her self characteristically up in the middle of the night, but uncharacteristically sitting in the rocking chair of Isaac's nursery his crib comforter wrapped around her body as she stared out the window. She wondered what Isaac would look like now, if his hair would have darkened to look like she and Elliot's, if his eyes were still unique. She exhaled and was slightly startled when the door slowly creaked open.

"Elliot?" She called into the darkness.

"What's this?" Samuel's voice called back, as he entered the room, "You didn't show me this door." He told her feeling his way slowly into the room.

She fought the sudden urge to tell him he had no right to be in her son's room, but then remembered her own words to Elliot, '_We either love him like he's our own, or we don't._' she took a deep breath, fighting back tears, "It's okay Sam, the path is clear, five more steps." She whispered and then felt his hand touch her forearm.

Sam stood next to her, "Bad dream Olivia?"

"No, baby," she assured him, "I was restless." She confessed.

"Christoff says when we're restless, we don't have peace." He whispered.

Olivia smiled, "You liked Christoff didn't you?"

"He was nice to me." He responded softly, "Did I make you sad Olivia, and that's why you left?" he asked suddenly starting to cry.

"What?" She sat up and gently pulled him into her lap, "sit with me." She tucked him into her son's comforter realizing the irony of the situation, "You didn't make me sad sweet heart, sometimes, my heart hurts and I need to go take care of it." She offered still trying to be vague.

"Why does you're heat hurt Olivia?"

She closed her eyes realizing the painful conversation that was about to ensue, "Sam," She whispered, "did you know I was a mommy one time?"

"Really?" He smiled against her, "you're good at being a mommy."

Olivia bit her lip, "Thank you, Sam."

"Why does that make you're heart hurt, Olivia?" he asked nuzzling closer to her.

"Because," She swallowed the lump in her throat, "A really bad accident happened…and I'm not a mommy anymore." She whispered through her own tears.

Samuel placed his hands on his heart, "Sometimes my heart hurt too."

Sensing a willingness from him to open up to her she obliged, "Can you tell me why?"

"Christoff say's I was a baby one time…but my mommy couldn't have me, because she couldn't be strong against daddy." He whispered, "I got to live with other mommies and daddies but they couldn't love me and I got to see Christoff again."

Olivia's tears ran steady at the little boy's confession of implied abuse, abandonment and neglect, "I love you, Sam." She whispered softly.

Sam let out a boyish giggle, "I know." He smiled and reached for her face taking her cheeks in her hand and giving her a precious kiss on her lips, "You're a good mommy." He whispered, and then felt the moisture on her cheeks, "Why are you crying Olivia?" he asked trying to wipe her tears away.

"Because," she embraced him tightly allowing his head to rest on her shoulder, "sometimes, it hurts too much…and I don't know if I can smile." She offered trying to use words that didn't confuse him.

Samuel held her as tight as he could, "When I can't smile, Christoff tells me that God doesn't break bruised reeds." He informed her softly.

_Bruised reeds, the little redhead,_ she thought to herself, "Sam," she pulled him away softly to look at him, "do you know where Christoff got that?" she asked out of curiosity.

He smiled and touched her cheek resting his forehead against her, "From the bible silly, Christoff taught me how to memorize things fast from the bible while I waited in his office…I had to wait a lot and they are slow there." He smiled then yawned, "I'm sleepy."

"Let's get you to bed then," She smiled, "We have to wake up a little earlier to finish you're homework." She informed him leading him down the hall and letting him crawl into bed. Olivia whispered softly so as not to wake up Elliot, "I'll be back in a few minutes okay?"

"Okay." He yawned.

"Get warm, sweetie." She smiled and kissed his forehead softly before watching him snuggle up to Elliot's sleeping frame.

Olivia walked carefully over to Elliot's side of the bed and slowly opened the drawer to his nightstand, she felt bad for stealing his bible without his permission, but surely God would understand, she hoped. She withdrew it, feeling like a thief and shook her head at the situation before walking out of the room.

Olivia sat at the kitchen table and stared at the thick mass in front of her not knowing how she was going find the phrase that seemed to be stalking her. She opened the bible up to the table of contents and exhaled seeing a lot of names she didn't recognize…except for a first and second Samuel; she smiled, made a mental note to look those up and then flipped to the glossary looking for the term 'reed'.

After a few minutes she found the reference but was confused as to the page number, after looking closer, she decided that it must be written like the penal code books they use for assessing charges during cases, which meant the name would tell her the section, the first number would tell her where to find it within the section and the last number would lead her to her destination.

_This stuff isn't that hard_, she smiled to herself, _but this font is painfully small_ she squinted, flipping through the pages before finally making her discovery in a section called Isaiah, she read it softly, "A flickering flame He will not extinguish, a bruised reed, he will not crush…what the heck does that mean?" she exhaled.

"It should tell you in the footnotes." Elliot smiled standing in front of her, "See you stole my bible…you know, there's a commandment about that don't you?"

Olivia blushed, "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough." He whispered pulling up a chair next to her, "You really never looked through one of these huh?"

"That obvious?" she chuckled, then smiled as he took her hand,

"Let me show you?"

She shook her head softly affirming his request.

"What verse were you looking at?"

"Verse?" she shook her head, and than realized what he was asking, she pointed at the line she read, "Right here."

Elliot took note of passage and smiled, "Why is this important to you?"

"I'm not sure but a little girl told me it today just before you came to me, and Samuel told it to me tonight…he woke up an-"

"I know."

"You know? I thought you were asleep?" she furrowed her brows.

"I heard you two talking." He soothed her, "I'm glad you told him."

Olivia shook her head, "I am too…but," She smiled, "Can you tell me what this means? You have to know…you have it underlined." She pointed.

Elliot took a deep breath and stared at the passage, "After the shooting in Iraq…I uh," he closed his eyes and looked away until she brought him gently back to her.

"You don't have to tell me, if you're not ready." She whispered.

"I started to question God," he confessed, "I wondered where he was when everything was happening, I wanted to kill myself."

"What got you through?" she whispered finding it odd that they had never really discussed religion between them; she was occasionally agnostic while he was the believer…who didn't attend church.

"One day, in between the suicide watch checks, the Chaplin of the unit came to visit and read me this verse…I held onto it so fiercely that I know that's the only reason why I made it back to the states…to meet you." He smiled. "I stopped going to church after Iraq…but I never stopped believing." He admitted.

"What does it mean?" She asked him gently.

Elliot smiled at her naivety, "It means, He'll never give us more than we can bare…and He'll nurture even the smallest about of faith, He'll fan a flickering flame of faith until it becomes a shield of protection, and nurse a bruised reed so that it stands tall again."

Olivia arched her brows and stared at the passage, "That's deep."

Elliot chuckled, "He's God…He's deep." He kissed her cheek softly and began to rise to go back to sleep.

"Hey El?"

"Yeah?"

"Um…if it's not too much trouble…I mean, if we have time…if you want too, I thought we could…you know, um-" she stammered not sure why the question was near impossible for her to ask.

Elliot kissed her forehead again, "Let's go to bed, we'll look for a church tomorrow."

"Really?" She smiled.

"Yeah…I think it will be good for Sam, he could make friends." He informed her hugging her softly from behind and walking with her back to their room.

"Just so long as it's not the church we went undercover in…that'll surely send us to hell." She teased and giggled feeling him laugh against her neck.

"You're priceless Liv."

"Why thank you." She smiled as they slid into bed next to the little boy that was systematically changing their lives.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You did what?" Paul asked out of shock, it was far too early in the morning to be hearing what he was.

"They pulled up just as the casket was being loaded." Casey exhaled, "You should have seen the look on her face, in a split second…she was betrayed by everyone she loved."

"Wow," Paul shook his head, "You sure know how to dig your own hole."

"Thanks, Paul." She said sarcastically and shifted Addison in her arms as she released her breast to feed him.

"I'm sorry Casey." He confessed, "I just…it surprises me that Cragen would allow something like that without her consent."

"The law said we didn't need it." Casey protested, even though she new he was right.

Paul exhaled and kissed his wife softly, "She needed it." He picked up his briefcase and keys and turned back to give her another kiss, "I want you to know, that I still love you and I'm standing by you no matter what."

Casey let a tear fall, knowing that normally, before they had gotten back together he would have let her know she deserved everything she got. "Thank you, you have no idea how much I needed to hear that someone is in my corner…even if it is a neutral corner."

"Olivia loves you like a sister." He reminded her, "She'll come around…give her time."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"All I'm saying," Fin opened the files, "Is look at the damn time frame Captain."

"I'm looking at it, and I see two Queens detectives who messed up…what's new?" He shot back.

"What's new!" Fin shouted, "You've got to be kiddin' me…you got something to hide Captain?" he asked knowing he probably shouldn't have when he saw Munch physically step back.

"Are you questioning my command Detective Tutuola?" Cragen managed to ground out.

"I'm not questioning anything other than if, when and how a crime occurred and I'm telling you Captain…either the queens detectives had something to do with Isaac's death, or kidnapping or whatever the hell is going on here, or they were _told_ to stand down." Fin informed him bordering on anger and frustration.

"So you want me to go accusing another commanding officer of a cover up?" Cragen scoffed, "Not you're best idea Fin."

"I never said to accuse anyone in the brass line, right now the fingers are pointing to the detectives-"

"Captain," Munch finally chimed in, "All were asking for is a little one on one with the detectives that handled the investigation."

"You're putting my neck on the chopping block." Cragen pointed out.

"Just like you put our friendships with Olivia and Elliot on the cutting board." Fin reminded him.

Cragen took a deep breath and set forth a series of motions that he new could have him fired in a heartbeat if things didn't pan out, "Do it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey look," Munch snickered to the corner booth of the restaurant as he and Fin approached the two people, "it's Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb." He peered over his glasses at the two, now shocked Queens detectives.

"Don't mind if we join you do you?" Fin asked sliding into the booth next to the fat detective while Munch slid into the booth next to the hairy one, "Well, all we need now is a short one and we'd have Short, Fat, and Furry."

Munch smiled taking the Pepsi from the waitress as she sat it down for the other hairy detective, "I love a good Pepsi."

"What the hell are you doing on our turf?" The fat detective barked.

"Obviously pissing." Fin growled back sticking his hand in his jacket pocket and extending it so that it was flush against the detectives side, "Feel that…it's an unregistered .38 caliber barrel sticking into you're side." Fin whispered.

"How do I know that's really a gun…if you won't show it?" The cop challenged him.

Fin narrowed his eyes, "What? You think I'm gonna hold you at gun point with a snickers bar?"

"I don't think you have the guts to go rogue." The fat detective said.

"You can't do this." The hairy detective finally quipped.

"Do what?" Munch asked innocently taking another sip of Pepsi.

"Hold us at gun point." The detective whispered, "They'll have you're badges."

"Well," Munch peered over his glasses, "The Fearless Fatty over there just said we weren't…what's it gonna be boys?" Munch smiled, "Is he holding a gun to The Fearless Fatty…or isn't he?" Munch waggled his brows feigning suspense.

"What do you want?" The fat detective asked stiff as a board not willing to move.

Fin leaned in, "Let me tell you a little story…there was a young woman who beat the odds of child abuse, and became a successful detective," Fin grabbed a French fry off the man's plate with his free hand, keeping his other hand close to the mans side and tossed into his mouth chewing as he continued, "the lady detective fell in love with a big nosed detective and they had a cute little kid…that I personally enjoyed."

"Me too." Munch said menacingly as he began invading the detective's space next to him making the contact between all four people nervous.

"Lady Detective and Big Nosed Detective were pretty damn happy until someone took off with their little one." Fin placed his pocketed had a little closer, "The million dollar question is…why did you stop investigating?"

"There was nothing to investigate." The fat detective hissed.

"I'll caution you on you're tone," Fin warned, "I've seen the reports." He whispered seeing the shock in the detectives face, "Did you think we wouldn't start poking around sooner or later?"

"You can't do this." The detective reiterated.

"Seems to me," Munch smiled holding the mustard bottle in his hand, "that when my partner has a gun at you're side, we can do a lot of things." He squeezed the bottle and watched the bright stream of yellow collide with the hairy detectives tan suit. "Oops." Munch smiled.

"The investigation was going like it should have went," Fin started again, "Then after the news article ran you stopped investigating, I'm gonna give you three seconds to tell me why…then I'm going to walk you outside into the alley…and I'm pretty sure you can imagine the rest."

"You don't have the balls." The detective shot back.

"One." Fin counted.

"You can't do this."

"Two." Munch waggled his brows in anticipation.

"You guys are out of you're damn minds!" The hairy detective spat.

"Three…let's go," Fin nudged the detective harshly, "Now."

"ALRIGHT!" The detective caved, "I'll tell you…but you can't say we told you…or we won't be employed.

"If I had it my way," Fin assured him, "You wouldn't be employed…covering up a crime against a cop, is grounds for me shoving my foot up you're ass and flossing you're teeth with my shoe laces."

"Tell us who, and we'll even pay for you 're lunch." Munch smiled taking another sip of Pepsi.

The hairy man finally spoke up in confession, "Our Captain…he called us into his office and told us to stand down"

"Well, then." Fin slid out of his booth watching as Munch did the same, "You shouldn't have listened to him…you're case just came back to haunt you."

As Fin and Munch turned to leave the hairy detective called back, "Hey, you said you were paying for lunch."

Fin and Munch turned around, Munch smiled at the two sitting detectives as they approached the table again. "You didn't tell them?" Munch asked looking at Fin.

"Oh shoot, I forgot." Fin looked back and the detectives and pointed at Munch, "He's a compulsive liar." He smiled, "But I might have something for you," Fin smiled reaching into his gun carrying jacket pocket and watching the detectives eyes widen with dread, "Enjoy the snickers bar." Fin laughed tossing it on the table, "You should always follow you're gut instinct."

"Yeah." Munch quipped, "Especially with a gut that size." They both laughed as they walked away from the table and onto the sidewalk of the city.

"Snicker's bar huh?" Munch asked slightly impressed, "I seriously thought you had lost you're mind and had a gun."

"Nope." Fin opened the car door and slid into the drivers seat as Munch slid into the passenger.

"Well," Munch prodded, "Care to elaborate on you're choice of guns." He peered over his glasses.

Fin put the blinker on indicating he was ready to pull the car away from the curb, "Old Charlie Sheen movie."

A/N: Hey, thanks for reading this story, I get email from time to time asking for me to just get it over with...sorry guys but I personally hate reading rushed stories and I especially hate writing them...but i assure you...it's always worth it in the end.


	20. Chapter 20 Apologies and Findings

Divided We Fall

Chapter 20 Apologies and Findings

"Alright," Cragen closed the door behind him as Munch and Fin took a seat, "so what do we got."

"You mean besides, a great big ol' problem?" Munch peered over his glasses.

"I take it you found something out then?" Cragen asked leaning against his desk and folding his arms, "Care to share that information with me?" he shook his head in frustration that he even had to ask.

"Depends on what you're gonna do with said information." Munch bargained.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Cragen barked.

"It means, I'm not putting any ones career on the line if you're gonna turn the other cheek on this…_captain_."

"Detective," Cragen fought hard to control his mounting anger, "I understand that you do not condone my action when it comes to Olivia and Elliot, however, if I have to remind you one more time that I am still you're commanding officer, you will be standing in the unemployment line…Is. That. Clear?"

Munch smacked his lips, "Abundantly."

"Hate to reign on the pissing match between you two," Fin interjected, "But we've got two months to put someone's balls in a vise and these little spats really aren't helping."

Cragen exhaled, "What did you find?"

"Seems the Captain of Queens SVU told the investigating detectives to stand down…and they did." Munch informed him.

"Why, in the hell would they do that?" Cragen exclaimed.

"The same reasons why we followed your order not to say anything to Olivia and Elliot." Munch told him, careful to keep his tone in check.

Cragen looked at Fin and Munch and finally understood with exact clarity the position he had put them both in, "I'm sorry for what I forced you to do." He confessed.

Munch stood to his feet, "I'm not asking for you to be sorry, I'm asking for you to make it right." He instructed before leaving the office.

"You want us to head over to Queens?" Fin asked as the door shut hard behind Fin.

"No," Cragen stood and retrieved his revolver from his desk, holstering it as he grabbed his jacket, "I got a few things to take care of."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Have you ever seen anyone so excited about their teacher?" Elliot asked sliding back into the mustang after dropping off Samuel to school.

"No," Olivia laughed starting the car, "Maybe we should be thankful…he was really apprehensive about starting school.

Elliot smiled placing his hand on her thigh "I think it's because he's got a crush on Alex."

"Oh please." She rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious…you should have seen how excited he was to hear that she was coming over to see him." Elliot laughed as she started pulling the car from the curb, "I should have made it more clear that we wouldn't be there when he woke up." He shook his head.

"I'm sure he's over it," Olivia assured him, "He seemed happy last night when I tucked him in…can you look in the glove box and pull out the little notepad please."

"You're not gonna make me write myself a love letter are you?" He joked pulling it out.

"No…but now that I think of it…" She teased him stopping at a red light then offered the real reason, "I need to make a grocery list."

"Oh, come on," he spoke in his best mafia voice, "We don't need no stinkin' list."

Olivia laughed, "Elliot, last week I sent you to the store for milk and lettuce."

"So?"

"You came back with Orange Juice and cucumbers." She smiled.

"Hey," he shrugged, "At least it was from the same departments."

"Yeah," She teased him, "You're getting better."

"Ouch!" he smiled then poised himself to write, "Alright, whatch'ya got?"

"Milk." She started, then smiled knowing the next one was either gonna go right over his head or make his day.

"Alright, what else?"

"Tampons." She said simply putting the left blinker on and slowing to make the turn seeing him write it down…he totally missed it, so she pressed it a little further, "Um…make sure it's O.B. I think there on sale."

"You wear tampons that use to be you're initials?" He frowned, "That's a little odd don't you think?"

"First of all," She laughed having never made the connection herself, "You don't _wear_ a tampon, you _use_ it. And second of all…well I'm gonna just let you figure out the second of all." She smiled at him.

"That's messed up." He laughed, "But that's okay," he joked stepping out of the car, "I pulled from you're box this morning…want to know what I drew?" He asked as she stepped out and set the car alarm.

"What would that be?" She smiled taking hold of his hand as they walked.

"Well," he looked at her playfully, "I guess you'll just have to figure that out."

"Messed up, Elliot."

"All's fair, Liv."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Would you like to bow and kiss my feet now…or later?" Donavan smiled standing at the doorway to Melinda's office.

"Well," She stood retrieving a file from the filing cabinet, "I suppose that depends on if you want my foot up your ass now…or later." She smiled closing the cabinet and turning back to him, "What's got you so excited?"

"I finished the work you gave me on the Jane Doe infant we got." He said flopping in the chair.

"Didn't you're mama ever teach you to sit properly?" She asked as she lowered herself into the chair.

"My mama," He said with a smile, as he handed her a file, "Never liked me."

"I wonder why?" Melinda snickered.

"Hilarious." He smiled sarcastically, "Want me to fill you in or you want to read it for yourself?"

"Fill me in." She told him closing the file and preparing herself to listen.

"I'll tell you everything for the low low cost of a free dinner." He bargained.

"How about this," She smiled leaning over the table, "Not filling me in will _cost you_ you're job…speak." She smirked as leaned back in her chair; happy to have a co-worker she could have friendly banter with. With all the dead stiffs she worked with on a daily basis…she didn't need a talking one.

"Alright," he began, "I did an exhaustive search of the Little family that had the three names we were given and it yielded exactly…nothing."

"What? How's that possible?" She furrowed her brows.

"I'm not sure, so I also did a search and went through all of the accidental death files a month _before_ and _after_ the Stabler baby was taken which also yielded me a big…nada."

"So, the family doesn't exist, at all?"

"Not on paper they don't." he informed her, "Who ever gave you their names…is a liar and a fat mouth."

Melinda exhaled, "This case is giving me the biggest head ache."

"Hey Doc?"

"What?" she exhaled.

"Any luck on the DNA?"

"It should be back in a couple of hours, I had the two lab techs stay over to rush it through."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Heads up." Elliot tossed the lettuce to Olivia who turned just in time to catch it.

"What would have happened if I didn't turn around?" She scolded him.

"It would have hit the cute little butt of yours." He smiled playfully as they unloaded the groceries.

"Elliot," she suddenly became a little more serious, "I should call Casey, huh?"

"If you feel that you should." He furrowed his brow and reached out to bring her close to him, "What's on your mind Liv?"

"I'm not saying I condone what they did." She defended herself, "But I think I understand why they did it...but I don't know what to do." She informed him as she leaned against the counter.

"You're not mad anymore?" He asked for clarity.

"I was never really _mad_, so much as _hurt_ that they didn't say anything when they first thought something was wrong." She told him pulling two cans of soup out of the paper sac and setting them on the counter. "What about you El, you haven't really said anything…what do you think?"

Elliot exhaled and folded the paper sac as he collected his thoughts, "I think I understand why they did it…it's the same feeling I had when I hired that protective detail for you and you almost killed me."

"I was thinking the same thing." She confessed, "Maybe we could have dinner with Paul and Casey…introduce them to Samuel…we can't really have a lot of people here at once it might scare him."

"Olivia," Elliot smiled and embraced her, "This is what I think, I think that no matter what we find out about Isaac, and no matter what happens between us after that…we're gonna be two happy individuals."

"Three." She smiled, "Samuel makes three."

Elliot laughed, "Yes, a very happy three."

"Have you heard from Frankie?" She asked picking up the soups and storing them in the cupboard.

"Yeah." He said sadly.

"That bad?" she asked looking at him.

"Not really bad…so much as expensive, two thousand." He replied empting another sac, "Who eats Rice Crispies?"

"I thought Sam would get a kick out of them." She said putting the milk in the refrigerator then pausing at his sudden outburst.

"You started your period!" He blurted staring at the box of tampons in his hand.

"Hey," She laughed, "Good job with the delayed reaction detective."

"So," he pulled her close to him, "I suppose that means, all the hormone levels and ovulation cycles and all that girly stuff is back…and ready to make a baby?" he waggled his brows.

"Well," She teased him reaching for the box and wiggling it in front of him, "Not for the next three to seven days."

Elliot closed his eyes, and exhaled, "Who do you think hates it more, women for having to go through it…or men for not being able to make love to their wives."

Olivia narrowed her eyes at him, "Believe me Elliot…women hate it more." She kissed him chastely and walked away to put her items in the bathroom before she called out, "Besides, you made a promise to Sam that we would sleep with him for another week…which means you would have been stuck any way you look at it buddy."

Elliot smacked his lips, _I would have found a way_.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You sonovabitch!" Cragen growled at the man as he walked up the steps to the Queens precinct.

"Excuse me?" The man looked back and eyed Cragen, "What brings you by Don?"

"Don't play coy with me Captain Pusey." Cragen walked closer to him, negotiating the steps as he stared at the Captain in front of him, "Or should I say Captain Pussy?"

"I would suggest a different form of communication Captain Cragen," Pusey shot back, "We may be equal rank but you will still respect my bars."

"The same way you respected the shields my detectives wear? Only a pussy would do what you did."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?"

"It means, Captain Pusey, that you're a pussy…I don't know how to make that more clear… you ordered the cover up of an infant's kidnapping, an infant, who's parents are two of the finest officers I have ever seen in my career." Cragen barked angrily.

"Do not presume to know what I have done in my own command Captain Cragen." Pusey bit back, "I have followed every command and order given to me and I ensure that the men and women under me follow mine. Do you understand me?"

"First of all," Cragen stood within inches, "I'm not one of you're detectives that you can push around, and second of all…what are you trying to tell me?"

"Captain Cragen," Pusey lowered his voice and looked around him, "Do you really think that I would deliberately put Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler through the hell they are experiencing if I had the choice?"

"You know their names?"

"Of course I know their names, I know everything about those two kids…best damn cops I've ever seen." He exhaled, "I know that Olivia never sleeps on a case, I know that Elliot loathes perps and without _her_ he'll lose his temper _and_ his job…I know them, because there's not a day that goes by that I don't want to kill myself for what has happened to them."

"Then make it right Captain Pusey…who ordered for you and you're men to stand down?" Cragen asked in a near whisper not wanting to draw attention to the two of them.

"Chief Serna." He whispered taking a look around, "And if it comes back to me… than I know you sold me out."

"Listen to me, you sonovabitch…you're in no position to talk about being sold out! You helped sell out two of the best, I'll do my best to do what I can…but if your bars get stripped, that's on you."

"Chief Serna…has it in for them Don." Pusey confessed, "He was pissed that they gave the department a bad wrap."

"It wasn't their fault." Cragen defended.

"He doesn't see it that way…you know that…look at how he treated her when they were summoned in front of the commission for marring each other." Pusey stated, "I was there Captain, he wants their badges and their pension."

Cragen shook his head digesting the information he was just given, "Well as Olivia always says…if you want to hang someone…don't get your foot caught in the line."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Casey Novak stared at the files in front of her, not exactly sure what would be happening next in her life. Deciding she couldn't stare at another gory picture she picked her son up from his play pen and sat down in the living room as he latched down on her breast, sucking frantically for sustenance, "You're mommy made a big boo boo." She told her son as if he could comprehend, "Auntie Liv, is very upset with me…what do you suppose I should do?"

After getting no response, not that she was actually expecting one, she leaned back on the couch and cried silently wanting to redo the last several months of decision making, wishing she'd told Olivia as soon as she found out what was happening.

It was the gentle knock at the door that caused her to growl in frustration, she looked around and found a small blanket, draping it over Addison as he filled his tummy. The timid knock came again as she stood up, "I'm coming!" she growled out, then muttered, "Really don't want to deal with someone right now." On the third light rap against the door, Casey opened it in frustration without regard for who was one the other side she snapped as the door opened, "What!"

"Well, not exactly how I expected it to go."

Casey stood shock, "Olivia."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey Boss," Donovan smiled, "Sure you don't want to reconsider dinner, with a genius such as myself?"

"Not when I have a sexy genius at home." She shot back filling out the last of an autopsy report before laying it over the body in front of them. "But I'll entertain you and ask why you think I would."

"Well," he started, "first of all, I'm not just sexy, I'm a greek god-"

"Stop right there." She laughed, "Should I put on my snow boots…the crap is getting pretty deep in here."

"I resent that…you know I'm cute." He smiled.

"Yeah, so does your girlfriend…oh wait," She said turning back around to face him with a grin, "I forgot…you don't have one."

Donovan put his hand on his chest and feigned hurt, "Only because you call me all hours of the night demanding I come to see you…the ladies won't stick around."

"Yeah," She smiled, "All two of them huh?"

"You're a cold hearted woman Melinda." He finally conceded, and handed her the file, "I suppose I'll let you down easy and tell you I can't got to dinner anyway, but I got you you're DNA results."

"Already?" She furrowed her brow, "Damn…that's the fastest I've seen."

"Yeah, well, it seems these two detectives are pretty well liked…the lab techs stopped what they had going and focused in on this case." He said seriously, "Melinda,"

"I'm not taking you to dinner." She responded opening the file.

"I'm not asking. I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry."

Melinda furrowed her brows and leaned back in her chair, "The Great Donavan…sorry?" She raised a brow, "This I gotta hear."

"I'm sorry about the accusations that I made when I first started working on this case with you…I didn't know who they were and I was playing devils advocate."

"Dono-"

"They're good people, no one I've ran into has a cross word to say about them…I'm sorry." He confessed.

Melinda smiled, "You're good."

"Excuse me?"

"You did that, just so I would take you to dinner didn't you?" she smiled at him.

"No!" he protested then jumped on opportunity, "Of course, if it somehow softened that cold heart of yours…I suppose I could allow you to supply me with free food."

"Un huh." She shook her head.

"You're not biting are you?" He asked as she flipped through the file.

"Nope…not unless there is something fantastically good in this file." She smiled.

"Damn." He laughed then frowned as Melinda suddenly stood with two plastic sheets he knew to be the DNA profile. "Whatch'ya got?"

"Donavan," She eyed the chart carefully at the light box and mumbled, "what do you want for dinner?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So," Olivia smiled nervously and found herself raising her heels and setting them down quickly, "you gonna invite me in or use me as a lawn decoration?"

Casey shook her head as if she was starring at some sort of hologram, "I'm sorry…please come in." She could barely find her voice as she widened the door and allowed Olivia to walk past her.

"Do you…do you want a water or something?" Casey asked closing the door softly and taking a deep breath.

"No thanks…I won't be long." Olivia assured her standing by the counter.

Casey walked over and met her, still holding Addison. They stared at one another, Casey seeing the hurt and frustration in Olivia's eyes, while Olivia saw the shame and guilt in Casey's.

"So," Olivia smiled nervously, "this is awkward, huh?"

"Little bit." Casey agreed, "Olivia I wa-"

"Look, Casey…Elliot and I were talking and we'd like for you and Paul to come to dinner tomorrow night, we have someone we'd like you to meet." Olivia said shoving her hands in her pockets.

Casey furrowed her brows, "You're not going to kill me?"

Olivia exhales and smiled softly, "I'm still…digesting what happened, I think the only thing that is keeping me sane is the little boy we've opened our home to…we'd like you guys to meet him."

"Samuel Wilson…the young boy Alex used me as a reference?" Casey asked.

"Yeah…you upset?"

"No…you happy?"

"Yeah…how's Addison?"

"Eating." Casey pointed to him in her arms, "Thank you for inviting us…you didn't have too…we'll be there."

"Casey," Olivia exhaled, "I may not agree with what you did, there are moments that I think I understand, then there are moments that I hate you." Olivia was brutally honest, "But know that I've never walked away from a relationship I valued…It might take me some time, but if you're patient with me…I think we can get through this."

Casey bowed her head as the tears built up she reached out to embrace Olivia and was taken back when she pulled away, "I'm not quite ready for that." Olivia informed her, "One thing at a time."

Casey shook her head acknowledging her trespass, "I understand…trust is paramount, I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me completely."

"I'm sure I will." Olivia assured her, "but time is also paramount," Olivia motioned to the sleeping baby, "Bring Addison with you guys, I think Samuel will enjoy a baby…seven O'clock." She informed as she walked out the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

" I really enjoy lobster and shrimp." Donavan smiled watching Melinda study the DNA in front of her.

"Yeah, well, I was thinking more like McDonald's." Melinda smirked turning to him, "We got ourselves a big fat problem." She informed him.

"What's that?" he furrowed his brow at her remark.

"Well, you remember, how the skull of the baby was stout and small…not exactly right?"

"Yeah…I thought we determined she was laid on her back a lot." He said cleaning his eye glasses on his cotton t-shirt.

"Well, that _was_ a possibility, but what if I told you…the baby was a _boy_?" Melinda arched her brow, "But a much older boy than Isaac."

"I'd say, I'm thoroughly confused and I wish some one would put me out of my misery." He sighed.

"According to this DNA," Melinda exhaled, "the baby is male and has a trisomy of the twenty-first chromosome, which explains why the skeleton is small…_like_ a seventh month old infant, _but in fact_ I'm willing to say that with the broad hands, and skull, the bone formation…this baby is more like a year old, and has Down Syndrome."

"Holy Shit." Donavan whispered in shock.

"Shit, my friend, is not holy…but this _is_ pretty shitty." She exhaled, "What do we make of it?"

"Well," Donovan exhaled "I think we've got to tell the Stabler's."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Elliot, wake up, we got to go…now!" Olivia instructed him, "Come on!" she pulled back the comforter.

"Liv," He spoke groggily, "I was taking a nap."

"That's right," She agreed in complete angst, "you _were_…now you're _not_…Alex called, something is wrong with Sam." She spoke rushed, slightly frantic.

"What?" He shot out of the bed, "What did she say?" he asked looking around for his shoes and slipping them on quickly.

"I'm not sure what happened, Alex said he won't come out of the bathroom, Mrs. Rosafe called her to try and get him out and it's been a 'no-go.'"

"Alright, let's go."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Captain Cragen sat at his desk polishing off the last piece of licorice and making a mental note to buy another bucket on his way home.

"Captain Cragen?" Melinda knocked on the door gaining his attention.

"Melinda," He sat up straight, "Please come in…shut the door." He informed her.

She did so after Donovan entered the office with small bundle of fries in his hand. He took a seat and quietly ate while Melinda sat next to him.

"Little old for a happy meal aren't you Donovan." Cragen raised his brow.

"Melinda's attempt at humor." He smiled back holding up the fries.

Cragen smirked and turned his attention to the M.E., "What brings you by?"

"I got the DNA results back."

"That's fast." Cragen raised his brows in surprise.

"Yep." She agreed.

"Well?" He asked wishing he had more red vines.

"Well," She exhaled, "The baby that we exhumed is _not_ Isaac Stabler."

Cragen didn't know whether to smile or throw something, "You're sure?"

"Positive, there are to many determining factors." She assured him, "You have to tell them."

Cragen exhaled, "I've been calling them since her right hook…they haven't returned my calls, I'm not sure they would want to hear this from me anyway, I'm not sure they'll ever want to hear from me."

"Captain," Melinda smiled compassionately, "Olivia, can pass through like a storm, we all know that, but even the most powerful storm…eventually dies down, she'll come around."

"I hope so." He muttered, "I want her back, she's a great cop…good kid."

"Your kid?" Melinda smiled knowingly, "Look, if you don't hear from them tonight, we'll all go over tomorrow, through ourselves at they're mercy and have my report to hopefully earn us some brownie points."

"You're a good woman Melinda." Cragen smiled.

Melinda frowned knowing that the part she played in this whole fiasco of mistrust, made her feel otherwise, "No…no I'm not, Captain."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hi, I'm Olivia Stabler this is my husband Elliot, we got a call about our son…er…Sam Wilson." She blushed at her slight blunder wondering where exactly it came from.

"Olivia!" Alex called from the hallway and motioned to the secretary that she would handle it, "I'm glad you came, he won't budge."

"What happened?" She asked nervously, "aren't you suppose to be in class?"

"Prep period for now, Mrs. Rosafe called me and I tried to coax him out, even offered him a free ice cream trip, it didn't work." She informed them leading them down the hall to the male restroom, "We cleared out the restroom, he's really upset about something but wont say."

Olivia shook her head digesting the information as she stood in front of the restroom door, "how long has he been in there?"

"We found him about thirty minutes ago." Alex said softly, "He's terrified of something."

Olivia opened the door to the restroom and was followed in by Elliot and Alex who stood off to the side. "Samuel?" Olivia spoke calmly hearing his tiny whimpers, "Samuel its Olivia and Elliot sweet heart." She continued walking pushing the doors to the stalls until she came to the one that was locked, "Sam, honey, can you unlock the door?" she asked softly.

"Go away." He whispered softly.

"I'd really like to see you Sam." She assured him, "I missed you today, and I wanted to come and say hi."

"Is the man here?" he whispered through a sob.

"What man, honey? It's just me and Elliot and your friend Alex…can you open the door so I can see you?"

After a few moments of silence Olivia finally heard the lock slide, "Mr. Douglas…he's mean." He whispered opening the stall door.

Olivia choked back tears seeing the little boy in soiled jeans, "Want to tell me what happened?" she asked softly, crouching in front of him and taking his hands in hers, "you're shaking…what's got you so upset, honey?" she asked making no mention of his accident, but letting him know she was right in front of him regardless of what he may have looked like.

"Mr. Douglas…I got lost and he yelled at me when I asked where I was," The little boy began to cry, "I used please and thank yours." he assured her, "He's scary."

Elliot furrowed his brows and whispered to Alex, "Where's this Mr. Douglas?"

Alex looked at her watch, "Probably in the teachers lounge, second door on you're left…Elliot," She grabbed his arm before he left, "don't do anything crazy."

Elliot smiled, "Just gonna talk." He assured her, exiting the restroom, as Olivia continued to talk to Sam.

"Why'd he yell at you, Sam? What did he say?" She asked pulling his shirt out of his pants feeling the back, thankful they were dry but wondering how she was going to get him out of the school without people staring at him.

"I asked him where I was." Sam told her holding on to her shoulders as she crouched in front of him.

"He said, 'what? Are you blind or something'?"

"Did you have you're cane, Sam?" she asked looking around the restroom and noticing it wasn't there."

"No, I couldn't find it in my cubby, and I really had to go to the restroom." He defended himself, "I thought I could find it, like at home…but I got lost."

"What else did he say to you Sam?" she asked looking around for something, anything to cover him.

"I told him I was blind and he started to yell and call me some other boys name." He furrowed his brow, "I don't know who Alec is, but he's smart." He assured her.

Olivia furrowed her brows trying to decipher what he'd just said, "Sam…did he call you a Smart Alec?"

"Yeah, but my name isn't Alec…it's Sam, I tried to tell him and he got more angry like a monster." He said grasping at her arms, "am I in trouble Olivia?"

"No, honey." She smiled, "you're just fine…Elliot went to talk to Mr. Douglas for you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot found the door to the teachers lounge and opened it to see only one person sitting at a table reading a newspaper.

"Excuse me." Elliot smiled, "Are you Mr. Douglas?"

"Yes. May I help you?" he asked furrowing his brows and folding the paper before laying it down.

Elliot twitched his lips in anger and sat caddy corner form him, "Did you yell at a little boy today Mr. Douglas."

"Excuse me? Who are you?"

"Just answer the question, did you or did you not yell at a little boy today Mr. Douglas?" Elliot said clenching his jaw.

"I may have been firm with him, yes." He said simply, "Do you know how many screwed up, smartass kids we have here? They ne-"

Before he could finish his statement Elliot had effectively pulled him from his chair and slammed him down on the table placing his forearm into his neck, "Let me tell you something Mr. Douglas," Elliot spoke calmly, "My only job right now, is to protect that little boy from pricks like you…you come within five feet of him again…if he so much as says' you said hello to him, I will come back, and I'll show you what it feels like to pick on someone your own size, do I make myself clear?"

Mr. Douglas tried to squirm free but Elliot held him firmly, "Answer me!" Elliot growled.

"Perfectly." Mr. Douglas answered hoarsely just as someone walked into the lounge.

"Is there a problem here?" The male voice called.

Elliot smiled and let Mr. Douglas up before placing him in a playful headlock, "No problem, just showing some old wrestling moves." Elliot assured him slapping his face a little harder than necessary before letting go, "Remember how that one goes Mr. Douglas?" he asked menacingly.

Mr. Douglas rubbed his throat, "Yeah…that's a good one."

Elliot smirked as he turned to leave, "Glad I could help."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What do you say, we call it an early day huh, Sam?" Olivia asked looking at her watch, "Schools over in fifteen minutes."

"I want to go home." He whispered.

"Hey Sam?" Elliot deliberately kept his voice soft, "Want to wear a big boy shirt?"

"Really?" he smiled.

"Absolutely." Elliot laughed unbuttoning his dress shirt and taking it off, "Come here you good looking boy." Sam followed the sound of Elliot's voice and allowed him to help him with the shirt and buttons.

Olivia mouthed a thank you to him noticing his backside and any evidence of an accident were covered.

"Hey," Alex interjected, "I'll pick up his things and bring them by after work…I think he's pretty tired."

"Alright Sam." Elliot spoke up pulling his undershirt from his waist line, "Let's roll." He covered Sam's hand with his own and led him to his elbow as they left, "What are you in the mood for? Ice Cream Sandwich? Or Ben and Jerry's?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So," Olivia exhaled, "That was exhausting."

"Yeah," Elliot agreed as they stared at the freshly showered and now sleeping little boy, "But he's asleep now, you're really good with him."

"Thanks." She whispered giving him a chaste kiss before resting her head on his chest as he held her, "By the way…should I be concerned for Mr. Douglas?" she asked with a hint of play in her voice.

Elliot chuckled, "Let's just say, I don't think Sam will have anymore problems with Mr. Douglas."


	21. Chapter 21 Tonight I'm Gonna Hold You

Divided We Fall

Chapter 21 Tonight I'm Gonna Hold You

"Olivia?" Samuel called from the hallway.

"Living room sweetheart." She answered back hearing him pad over to her gently, "you're up early, is everything okay?"

"Elliot is making funny noises, he's growling." He yawned and climbed up on the couch feeling his way to Olivia who was reading a book.

"He's not growling." She laughed, "Sometimes when he's really tired, he snores." She informed him letting him crawl under the blanket she had around her.

"Are you and Elliot going to drop me off at school today?" he asked leaning against her.

"Well, actually I had an idea, I thought I'd run past you." She smiled setting the book aside, "Want to play hookie from school?"

Sam frowned, "What's that?"

"Means you don't have to go, Silly." She chuckled running her hand over his head, "Elliot and I talked about it last night and he said he'd really like to do something with you today…but no girls allowed." She whispered her last part.

"Just me and Elliot?" he asked half way between want and fear.

"I told him I'd ask you," she informed him, "I'm gonna go into the city and take care of some things, for tonight, I'll have my cell phone on…and I promise I'll pick up this time." She assured him.

"Will you be gone a long time?" he whispered.

Olivia ran the errands through in her mind, "No, maybe one or two hours…is that too long?"

"No." Sam whispered as he started to bite his fingernail.

"Sam," Olivia spoke his name gently and slowly pulled his hand away from his mouth, "He promises that he wont go into the bathroom unless you ask him and there won't be showers or changing…I promise you Sam." She reassured him and then smiled when he finally shook his head in agreement.

"Ok…but if I'm scared I can call you?"

"And I'll come home." She smiled.

"Why are you up early, Olivia?" he asked through another yawn.

"I was reading a new book Elliot picked up for me." She confessed, "I just started it."

"What's it called?"

"Left Behind." She informed him, smiling at his curiosity.

"Christoff read me the first one…but it's for kids." He told her holding out his hand and feeling for the book within hers, "This one is big, this is the adult book."

Olivia raised her brows in surprise of his knowledge, "Want me to read it to you?"

Sam grinned, "A big people's book!"

"Yeah." She smiled, "I'll take that as a yes."

"Please!"

Olivia laughed and flipped the book back to the first page and began reading, "Rayford Steele…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paul Novak reached for his wife and found only tussled sheets. He opened his eyes and squinted against the harsh sunlight, looking at the alarm clock to see that it was entirely too early to wake up on a day off. He forced himself to crawl out of the comfort of the bed as he walked through the house in search of that good looking red head, he'd just been dreaming of.

Paul ran his hands over his face and through his hair he knew must be standing every which way except for the correct one. He smiled seeing Casey in the nursery holding Addison. He leaned up against the door and found himself covering his mouth in order to not die of laughter at what she was telling him.

"See, Addy," She smiled letting the infant grasp her finger as he drew sustenance from her, "the constitution was written for the people, by the people, which is why the preamble starts out that way…now, let's go over the bill of rights again, this is very important stuff, son esp-"

"Casey," Paul whispered walking into the nursery, "you could have just sang him to sleep…you didn't have to bore him to death." He smiled kissing her cheek softly.

"I'm sorry," She feigned hurt, "are you suggesting that I'm boring?"

"Nope…just the subject matter." He kneeled next to her and looked at his sleeping son eat, "I wish I could eat and sleep at the same time…that would be heaven."

"Yeah, yeah, back to more important things, I am not boring." She smiled in protest.

"Never said you were."

"It was implied." She whispered kissing him softly on the mouth feeling him sip gently from her bottom lip.

"Why don't you show me how un-boring you are?" He spoke suggestively.

"Are you asking me to engage in some naughty morning encounter with you?" She asked with a spark in her eye as she kissed him gently again.

"Not naughty…but definitely engaging…I had a dream about you." He smiled following the contours of her jaw, "I think you should lay Addison down so I could show you."

"You can't tell me?" she teased him.

"Definitely not." He whispered resting his hand on her thigh and sliding it up further until his finger grazed the juncture of her body, "This is a sort of…show and tell, type dream."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Cragen straightened his tie out and folded his collar over it before giving himself one last look over in the mirror. Deciding he was still bald he walked out of the bathroom and retrieved the morning paper from his counter top before eyeing the telephone. He exhaled and took it from its cradle dialing the Stabler residence and putting the phone to his ear.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Can I answer it Olivia?" Sam asked with a smile.

Olivia rested the book down and handed him the cordless phone before giving him instructions on how to answer it and encouraging him not to be scared if it was a man on the other side.

"Stabler residence this is Samuel." He said confidently as he held the phone, after a pause that Olivia recognized as fear, he swallowed hard trying to keep it at bay.

Olivia furrowed her brows knowing a male voice must have been on the other side, she wondered if it was a good idea to let him answer the phone without checking the caller I.D. but when he started talking again she decided to let things play out.

"May I tell Olivia whose calling?" he said slowly still not sure if he liked the voice on the other side. "One second please." He informed the caller as he handed Olivia the phone, "He has a silly name." He smiled, "It's Captain."

Not that she was glad Sam couldn't see her, but in that instance she was glad he couldn't see the anger that just ripped across her face. Stiffeling it quickly, she kept the phone covered and found a soft voice for Sam, "Honey, why don't you go wake up Elliot, do it nicely though okay?"

Sam grinned, "Okay." He journeyed off of the couch and naturally made his way to the back of the house, confident with the lay out of the house after only a week.

Olivia took a deep breath and put the phone to her ear, speaking dryly, "This is Olivia."

"Olivia," Cragen's voice was nervous, "How are you?"

"Are you calling to fire me?" She asked unconcerned with his previous question.

"Absolutely not," He informed her, "I completely deserved that."

"Yes. You did." She agreed, "Are you calling to have us come back to work?"

"I'm sorry…no, you still have another seven weeks." He said softly.

"So…this is a _personal_ call?" She asked with boiling anger.

"Sort of…yes." He said softly, not sure of her next response.

"Well Don," She said harshly, "I really don't have anything _personal_ to say to you right now, so if you don't mind, I have things to do…goodbye."

"Oli-"

_Click_. Olivia hung up the phone and exhaled deeply wanting nothing more than to crawl into Elliot's embrace. She walked down the hall, frustrated and angry that he would have the audacity to call her, it was the site of Sam trying to wake Elliot up that soothed her immediately.

She watched as he shook him softly and got no response, she listened to him whisper for him to wake up and still received no response, "Sam," Olivia whispered, "Come here."

Sam walked back to the sound of her voice until his hand reached her hip, "I can't get him awake, he keeps growling."

"Snoring, Honey." She corrected as she kneeled and spoke in a whisper, "Do you know what a cannonball is Sam?"

"No."

"I want you to run with me and were gonna jump on that bed and get that big ol' monster awake…sound like a deal?" she smiled.

"Deal." He grinned.

"One," Olivia took hold of his hand, "Two…remember where the bed is Sam?"

"Yeah." He smiled griping her hand.

"Three!" They both ran, "Jump Sam." She told him just as they got to the bed, both delivering two perfectly executed cannonballs that would scare the crap out of any sleeping monster. Elliot shot up immediately and tried to move but was covered with Olivia's slender frame.

"What?" He rubbed his eyes and looked around startled until he saw the smiling faces in front of him.

"I see she's got you up to no good, huh Sam?" Elliot smiled sneaking a soft and silent kiss from Olivia.

"Guess what Elliot." Sam smiled getting himself as close to him as possible as Olivia straddled his thighs like a child herself.

"What?" Elliot entertained him.

" I get to play hooker today." He smiled.

Olivia grinned at the mispronunciation as Elliot tried to hold in his laugh.

"Hookie, baby." Olivia corrected him softly with a kiss on the head before returning to Elliot, "I'm gonna run into the city take care of some things, I'll be back in time to start cleaning the house and getting dinner ready for tonight."

"You sure about dinner?" He asked wrapping his arm hesitantly around Sam then more confidently when the youngster didn't protest.

"Yeah…I talked to her yesterday, I think we'll end up working it out." She informed him but couldn't hide her down cast eyes.

"What else?"

"Cragen just called."

"What'd he want?"

"I don't know…I hung up on him."

"Ballzy Woman!" he laughed then settled and pulled her close, "When you're ready, you'll talk, he knows that."

"Yeah." She exhaled then turned to Sam, "Honey, we're gonna have two friends over tonight, they're very nice and they have a little boy that they want you to meet."

"Really? A little boy?" he grinned.

"Yep…and they are really excited about meeting you." She assured him, "You up for it?"

"Is there gonna be a man?"

"Yes, his name is Paul, but he's very nice." She smiled, "What do you say?"

"Can we have sgabetti?"

"You mean spaghetti?"

"Yeah…can we?"

"Sure."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Casey Novak stood in front of her closet starring into the abyss of fabric, nervous and frustrated. She exhaled feeling Paul's hands wrap around her, "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing."

"Terrible liar." He whispered, "You've been standing here in you're bra and underwear for fifteen minutes staring at you're clothes…what is it."

"I'm so nervous." She confessed, "She's my best friend and I'm nervous to go to her home for a simple dinner."

"Well, you and I both know this isn't a simple dinner…Casey, I don't want you to think I'm against you, but what Cragen and you guys did was harsh, even for someone as strong as Olivia that had to sting...let her lick her wound-"

"She couldn't even bring herself to hug me." She shook her head in frustration.

"Intimacy, for her, is hard, you've told me that a lot about her…without trust there can be no intimacy and I'm sorry to say it Case but what happened…seeing her best friends standing around her son's grave…that had to break some trust levels."

"I feel like such a jerk." Casey exhaled.

"You should." He said softly.

"What the hell Paul!" She scolded, "I hope you don't plan on giving motivational speeches because you suck!" She bit.

"Casey," He held her tighter, "We've promised each other honesty, that's what I'm giving you…don't hate it, I know I sound like I'm nailing you, and I'm sorry, but if you want that relationship back, you've got to fight for it."

"What if she decides she doesn't want it back?"

"Case…she came to our home and invited us to hers…that's an olive branch if I've ever seen one…give her time, and if she decides to walk away from it, then she's missing out on a pretty wonderful woman." He kissed her temple as she reached into the closet for a black blouse.

Paul covered her hand with his, "No." He whispered and moved three shirts to the left, "You've always looked gorgeous in this."

"I don't want to look gorgeous." She protested.

"That's why you need to wear it." He smiled taking it off the rack.

"My favorite red socks shirt…I'm supposed to wear that to dinner, it still has a stain on it?"

"They're our friends…stop panicking."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What's wrong with Olivia?" Sam asked softly as Elliot sat on the couch.

"What do you mean?" he furrowed his brows.

"I tried to talk to her but she keeps moving and growling and throwing things." He said, "Is she mad at me?"

Elliot stood and smiled down at Sam, "Buddy, do me a favor and sit on the couch and I'll be back in awhile."

"Is she gonna be okay?" Sam asked concerned.

"Sam," Elliot exhaled, "She's changing…things could get ugly." He laughed and tickled the little boy, "I'm playing, I'll go see what's up, wait here." Elliot laughed as he walked into the bedroom and suddenly found himself ducking a shoe that was tossed.

"Holly hell," He looked around the room seeing the extreme disarray, "Liv…what happened to the room."

"Where's my shirt?" she said digging through the closet.

"Can you be more specific, you've got about a million." He teased catching the next shoe that she blindly tossed behind her.

"Elliot!" she barked out, "This isn't funny! I need that damn shirt!"

Elliot could sense her angst about the dinner, he could sense it all day, but he didn't feel the need to ask her anything until now. He walked to her slowly, ready for the next heel to come at any point, he kneeled behind her, putting his legs on either sides of hers and embracing her tightly, "What's wrong?"

Olivia exhaled and leaned into him, "Nothing."

"You'll never be able to fool the box…what is it?" he insisted.

"I can't find my shirt."

"What's the real reason you're upset?" He asked gently, "You're sitting here in your bra and panties and you almost took me out with a stiletto…talk, Liv."

"I will so make love to you, right now, if you don't make me have this conversation with you." She offered slyly.

"Ah," he grinned, "Tempting offer, but I love you too much to let this go, plus, according to you, I don't get any fun for three to seven days…talk."

"She's my best friend El…do you know how much I had to let down my guard to let her in?" she finally confessed.

"I can imagine." He assured her.

"I don't know what to do, forgiveness is a must, but reconciliation…that's work."

"It's a process, look at Casey and Paul, look at you and I…reconciliation is hard, it takes both people, but it's possible if you're willing to do it."

"What if she doesn't want to?"

"Then she's nuts." Elliot smiled and kissed her cheek, "What shirt are you looking for?"

"My favorite one." She informed him as he stood and helped her up, "It's comforting."

Elliot smiled and walked over to her dresser opening the second drawer and pulling out his old NYPD shirt, which was Olivia's favorite, "Same place it always is honey."

Olivia exhaled and took the shirt with a sheepish smile, "Thank you," she whispered kissing him softly on the mouth and hearing the doorbell ring, then Samuel's voice.

"Can I answer the door?" Sam yelled to the back of the house.

"Hold on." Olivia called back, slipping quickly into the shirt and grabbing a pair of jeans, to which she slipped on as she walked out of the room, giving him instructions, "Sam, there's gonna be a man on the other side of the door okay, don't be scared, but ask who's at the door before you open it."

Sam acknowledged her instruction and walked to the door as Elliot and Olivia waited a few feet behind him. "Who is it?" Sam called through the door, when the identification came back from a woman's voice he asked Olivia for permission to open the door to which she gave it.

Casey and Paul stood starring at a little blond boy, "You must be Samuel?" Casey smiled sticking out her hand for a handshake.

"Chest high." Olivia informed him as he stuck his hand out and shook hers.

Samuel grinned, "Did you bring the little boy? Olivia told me you were bringing a little boy."

"Yep, we sure did." Casey smiled.

"Let them in Sam." Elliot instructed with a smile.

Samuel took a step back and opened the door a little wider, "Elliot says you can come in." he informed them letting them into the foyer. They took their coats off hanging them in the same spots they normally did when visiting.

"Sam, these are our friends." Olivia smiled walking to him, "You met Casey." She informed him knowing that Paul might be a little harder, "Can I introduce you to her husband?"

Sam took a visible step backwards into Olivia and clutched her hand, "He's you're friend?"

"A very good one." Olivia assured him and found herself surprised when he agreed so quickly.

"Sam, this is Paul." She told him, feeling his hand clutch tighter around hers as he extended his right hand to shake Paul's.

Paul crouched down to his knees and smiled at the young boy he had just figured out couldn't see him, he wondered if the gift he brought him would be offensive, but decided all kids love presents just the same, "Hello Sam, it's good to meet you."

Olivia didn't think Sam could lean any further into her body but he did. Paul noticed the body language and insisted on gaining the little boy's trust. "I stopped at the store today."

"Ice cream store?" Sam grinned still holding onto Olivia who had since crouched behind him so that all were at his level.

"No." Paul laughed, "Are you an ice cream man?"

Sam shook his head affirmatively, "Perhaps, you could also be a Lego man?" Paul suggested.

"What's a Lego man?" Sam asked him, then turned to Olivia, "What's a Lego man, Olivia?"

"I don't know honey, let him tell you." She smiled noticing his clutch was loosening and she could feel the blood circulating to the tips of her fingers again.

Paul handed Sam a brown paper sac, "These were my favorite toys when I was younger, and I think you'll have fun building with Elliot."

"Building!" He exclaimed with a smile, "Olivia, I can build with Elliot now."

"Yep," she kissed his cheek, and whispered into his ear, "Remember our thank yous."

"Thank you, Paul…thank you Casey." He smiled and took his new booty to the back of the house

"Thank you." Olivia smiled standing to her feet, "He's been wanting to build, how did you know that?"

"Please," Paul scoffed, "He's a man…I'm a man…building is in our blood."

"Yep," Casey smiled and nudged him, "Just like that bookshelf you put up."

"A very nice bookshelf I might add." He responded.

"Yeah," Casey teased, "Who cares that it's not level."

"You're grumpy when you're hungry." He smiled.

"Well then," Elliot interjected noticing the avoiding glances between the two women, "Lets get some food in you."

"I'll get the drinks." Olivia informed them and padded barefoot to the kitchen.

"Can I help?" Casey asked willing to weather a backlash if it came.

Olivia eyed her carefully and slowly shook her head in agreement, "Yeah, four hands are better than two." She said walking to the kitchen as Sam already made his way back to Elliot who was already in conversation with Paul.

"So…um," Olivia opened the refrigerator, "thanks, for the Legos, I think he'll get a kick out of them."

"That was all Paul, he wouldn't let me see what was in the bag." Casey laughed nervously taking the pitcher of tea from Olivia as she handed it to her.

"How's Addison?" Olivia asked knowing that when in doubt, having someone talk about his or her kids always breaks the ice no matter how thick it is.

"He's doing good…sucks the energy right out of me, but Paul is like the energizer bunny with him." She chuckled.

"The first month with Isaac was hard," Olivia informed her pulling glasses out of the cupboard, "but eventually he fell into a very punctual eating schedule." She smiled, "I could set my watch to that little boy."

"I'm sorry for what I did to you Olivia." Casey whispered bluntly, "I had no right to keep that from you."

"Like I said," Olivia exhaled, "I think I understand you're reasoning…I don't like it and it hurt more than you can imagine…but I understand it, and ironically, I'm not sure I would have done any differently if you were in my shoes."

Casey smiled barely readable, "In any case I'm sorry, and if it makes you feel better, Fin and Munch went to bat for you…Munch almost lost his job from what Fin tells me…we might have made a bad call as you're friends…but we never stopped trying to protect you as a friend."

Olivia shook her head in understanding and closed the gap between the two embracing Casey warmly and chuckling softly, "I swear Casey, if you ever hide something from me again I'll kick your ass."

"Point taken." Casey laughed through fallen tears and gave a soft squeeze just as Elliot walked in.

"Ahhh," He cooed through a smile, "I hate to bust up the Kodak moment here." He chuckled at the women trying to hide their tears, "But, Liv…you have three starving cavemen in the dinning room."

"Well then," She grinned at him and handed him glasses, "make you're self useful and take these in for me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After holding a tiny Addison in his arms and grinning uncontrollably Samuel had finally confessed to being tired.

"Alright, do you need helped getting into you're jammies?" Olivia asked taking the infant from him and softy returning him to the couch, placing a pillow on the side for safety.

"No." He yawned and shook his head, "I'm suppose to sleep in here today Olivia." He reminded her of their deal.

"Well," she smiled, "I think one more day in our bed is okay, if you don't mind."

Sam smiled, "I don't mind."

"Alright," She watched him hop confidently off of the couch and down the hall, "We'll be in later on."

Sam stopped in his tracks and turned back reaching for her and hugging her tightly, "Good night Olivia."

"Good night sweet boy." She whispered sending him on his way.

"You got a good kid right there." Paul smiled as she returned to her friends.

"Thank you." Olivia grinned claiming a spot next to Elliot.

"Any word on permanent placement for him?" Casey asked.

"Well," Elliot exhaled, "If it goes the way we want it too, he'll be placed permanently with us in seven weeks."

"Really?" Casey grinned, "That's so great, I had no idea!"

"He's a really good kid." Elliot smiled wrapping his arm around Olivia as the group continued to talk. Laughter was paramount that night, a forgiving laughter between two women on the brink of emotional annihilation if it weren't for two husbands, a little rough around the edges, but encouraging just the same.

It was just after Elliot suggested a board game that there was a knock at the door. All four adults frowned at one another. "Are we expecting someone else?" Elliot asked his wife with furrowed brows.

"No." She shook her head and stood, "I'll see who it is, get the game, I'll be right back."

Elliot stood and walked down the hall to the closet they had kept games, puzzles and various other things, that until this year, they hadn't had the time to do. When he finally retrieved the Risk game and already committed himself to world domination, he walked back to the living room to see both Paul and Casey watching Olivia, who was starring angrily at a group of four on her doorstep.

"It's late." She told Cragen and Melinda coldly, noticing that, while Munch and Fin were standing behind them, it looked like they would rather be having their teeth removed than be there today.

"We need to talk." Cragen said softly.

"I have nothing to say to you, Don." She advised him feeling Elliot's presence behind her.

"Don," Elliot interjected, "It's late and Olivia has a lot to do tomorrow." He lied sensing the angry currents that shot out of her body.

"Elliot. Olivia." Melinda finally stepped into the conversation seeing that Cragen was sunk, "We have something very important that you need to know."

Olivia looked Cragen square in the eye and if looks could kill, Elliot was sure Don would be in cardiac arrest as she spoke coldly to him, "What could be more important that knowing someone you loved betrayed you?"

Cragen took a deep breath, "I understand your angry and you have every right to be, but we need to talk."

Olivia was just about to lay into him when Elliot interjected, "Come in, but make it quick we have friends over." Elliot informed him, using a very deliberate choice of words, "and please keep you're voices down there's two little one's sleeping."

The group sat down and stared awkwardly at each other until Olivia angrily interjected, "Don't just friggin stare at me, if you have something important to say…say it Damnit."

"Olivia," Cragen exhaled, "We, have been doing some investigating-"

"Believe me," Olivia said harshly, "when I tell you, I know."

"There's no tactful way to put this Olivia." Cragen whispered, "The baby you buried…wasn't Isaac."

"What!" she shrieked clutching Elliot's leg, she had tried to prepare herself for those words, tried to build up a tolerance so she didn't' crumble when everything toppled on her again, but here she was hearing them…hearing the words she needed to hear, suspected deep within herself were always true…but couldn't handle.

"What the hell do you mean?" Elliot asked in shock looking at six people who were looking back at he and his wife like the day they'd buried Isaac…or whomever they buried. Elliot looked angrily at Cragen, "You said the body was burned beyond recognition."

"I told you the information I was given Elliot." Cragen whispered in shame, perhaps if he'd allowed Olivia to identify the body, rather than rely on a detective's information, some sort of mother's intuition would have kicked in from Olivia and they wouldn't be in this mess.

"My son's alive?" Olivia whispered almost not being able to hear her own words, "What the hell is happening?" she suddenly barked, then stood to her feet, "What in the hell is going on? What made you guys start poking around? " She yelled, "Tell us Damnit!"

"Someone sent me the case file on Isaac." Melinda confessed, "On Christmas."

"Christmas?" Olivia shook her head in anger, "you know what I was telling my husband on Christmas?" when there was silence she yelled effectively startling everyone in the room, "Ask me!"

"What Liv?" Fin whispered unwilling to look at her.

"I was telling him that I missed my son…who apparently is still alive!" She hollered feeling her throat start to tense, "You could have told us!" she pointed at Melinda then back to Cragen, "I have always backed your play, I've always done what you asked because I respected you."

"Oliv-"

"No!" she yelled over him, "When I needed you most," she finally came to a whisper, "you turned your back on me…on my husband…on my son." She began to cry softly as Elliot wrapped his arms around her.

"You need to calm down Liv." He whispered softly, holding her tight as she leaned against him.

"Elliot." Cragen spoke softly knowing he had to finish, but didn't know if they could take what he was about to tell them. "There's more."

"Don," Elliot separated form Olivia, "She's had enough."

"Elliot I ha-"

"Don! Enough!" Elliot barked.

"Look Damnit!" Cragen finally barked backed, "I know you hate me, hell I hate me, I get what I did was wrong, but Damnit I'm trying to tell you the rest of what's happening."

"Don't you dare!" Olivia shot back with a second wind of rage, "Don't you dare come into our home and take that shitty tone with us! You have NO RIGHT!" she yelled, unconcerned with their relationship at this specific point, and if the truth were told, unconcerned about her job.

Knowing he wouldn't be getting through to them in a civil tone he yelled back, "There's a cover up! That's why it took so long, that's why things were so confusing in this case, I didn't mean to sell you two out!" he barked.

"The cover up was true?" Munch finally asked and it dawned on Olivia and Elliot that Cragen was the only one privy to the information.

"I just got all of the information." Cragen said softly, "This is bigger than all of us."

"You knew today?" Munch asked closing the distance between he and the captain.

"Who ordered it?" Munch asked with seeming calmness as he boiled inside.

"Joh-" Cragen tried to maintain his authority but there was a slow and steady mutiny forming on a personal level.

"WHO!" Munch barked suddenly.

Cragen exhaled, "Chief Serna."

Olivia furrowed her brows and wiped her tears, "Serna…form the Morris commission? He's running for chief of police thi-" she stopped mid sentence realizing what had happened, "He covered it up because of the press."

Cragen shook his head affirming her speculation.

"You knew about Serna today?" Munch asked again.

"Yes, John. I knew." Cragen said in annoyance.

"Did you put him on report?" Munch asked taking a step closer.

Cragen turned to face Munch more squarely, as he spoke through clenched teeth, "Are you questioning my command Detective?"

Six people, all co-workers and friends, albeit stressed friends, watched in stunned silence as John stared at Cragen for seconds that seemed like minutes and then slowly removed his dark glasses never breaking eye contact, "At this point," Munch said inches from his commanding officer's face, "I'm starting to question everything about you."

John turned to Olivia still feeling the shocked stare of Cragen on him, "Liv, you don't have to forgive me, God knows you deserve better friends than all of us maggot infested carcasses. I 'm sorry I didn't have the testicular fortitude to come to you, first." He whispered before backing away.

"Munch!" Cragen barked, "You will stand down."

In a rage that no one had seen from John before, he turned back to face Cragen, "DO NOT presume to tell me what I will do!" he edged closer to Cragen causing both Paul and Fin to step closer as he shook his fist violently, "You preach about that badge like it's holy," John yelled, "but you've forsaken everything it's stood for!"

"Mu-"

"SHUT UP!" Munch hollered so close to Cragen that Paul gently wedged his arm between the two.

"I think we all should go." Paul spoke softly, "They need time alone and this yelling isn't helping them."

"You turned your back on them Don!" Munch barked backing away and walking out of the house slamming the door behind him.

In the stunned silence of everyone Addison's cries were heard, Casey went to him immediately as the rest of the group stared at one another.

"Get out." Olivia whispered hoarsely.

Fin tried to sooth her, "Oliv-"

"GET OUT!" she yelled, "You," She said pointing at the uninvited guests, "get the hell out of my house…NOW!" she barked

"Olivia." Elliot wrapped his arms around her seething body as she continued to yell, he'd hoped his touch would calm her but there seemed to be no clam in sight for her and he wondered if Olivia Stabler had finally found her breaking point.

"Leave please." Elliot barked, "She's had enough, already." He informed them as if they didn't already know. The three gathered their belongings and left the house quietly.

"We're going to head out too." Paul said softly as Elliot let go of Olivia.

"We weren't…we weren't upset with you two." Elliot explained.

"I'm sorry Paul." Olivia whispered in exhaustion.

"Don't be." He smiled softly and embraced her warmly, "You two need to be with one another and were going to let you, that's all." He assured her as Casey walked into the room with Addison strapped securely in a car seat.

Casey gingerly placed him at her feet and hugged Olivia tightly; "You'll call me if you need me?"

Olivia shook her head in agreement as the two hugged Elliot and then gathered their son and walked out the door silently. As Elliot closed the door Olivia finally let out the sob that had been lingering within her.

"Go ahead." He whispered pulling her close to him, "cry." He whispered through his own tears, "we have a lot to cry about."

"Please hold me." She whispered into his chest.

Elliot held her, both crying into one another, both knowing that the path they had in front of them would be just as unpleasant as the path they'd been forced to take when they thought their son was dead.

He'd never seen it happen before, but after several minutes of exhausted crying Olivia had fallen asleep standing up against him. He wiped the tears from her eyes, "Olivia, come on, let's get you some rest." He whispered watching her eyes flutter back into a reality they didn't want to be in.

They walked quietly back into their room and flipped on the light to find the bed empty. Olivia looked around quickly, "Samuel?" she called as Elliot knocked onto the restroom door and opened it to find it equally empty.

"Samuel?" Olivia called out again, her voice already hoarse from the crying. She kneeled quickly and looked under the bed finding no sign of him.

"Liv." Elliot whispered pointing to the closet door that was slightly ajar.

As she walked closer to the closet, the softest whimpers were heard, "Samuel?" she called into the closet not immediately finding him until she opened the door completely and pulled a mound of clothes that she had tossed about earlier that night, away from his body, revealing a very frightened little boy rocking back in forth with his walkman on, his hands covering his ears as he shook his head and chanted, "No more yelling please, no more yelling please."

"Sam." She called to him struggling through her own emotions. She rested her hand softly on his knee as she crouched closer to him, "Sam honey." She whispered covering his hands with her own and lowering his to his knees, "It's me Sam." She sniffled, "What's wrong?"

"No yelling, no more yelling… please and thank you's, no more." He told her frantically.

"The yelling scared you Sam?" she asked softly wanting to kick herself for letting things get out of control with him in the house.

"Too much noise." He whispered finally slowing the rocking movement.

"Sam, I'm sorry." She said softly, "It's just me and Elliot now…nice and quiet sweetie."

Sam trained his ear as if to double-check her statement, "They're all gone?"

"All gone." She assured him, "Want to come out and sleep with me and Elliot?" she asked extending her hand to his and helping him up checking to see if he'd wet as he walked into the light of the room, when she was satisfied he didn't look wet she helped him into the bed and kissed him softly on the cheek, "I'm sorry we scared you." She apologized tucking him in softly.

Sam held his arms out for her, and hugged her tightly, "Good night Olivia."

"Good night sweetie." She smiled sadly and returned to the restroom to change, and to cry.

"What are we going to do?" She asked him softly as he held her.

"We'll start looking for him." He assured her, "We know he's alive-"

"No we don't." she said bitterly, "All we know is he wasn't who we buried, what if he's dead and in some…some…some sewage drain or something."

"Liv." He kissed her forehead, "don't do that to yourself, we have hope now…were gonna find him." He assured her helping her out of her clothes and into her pajamas for the second time this month. "We've beaten everything that comes at us Liv…and were gonna beat this too." He told her softly as he ducked his head to kiss her cheek.

Olivia raised her hand up and back to touch his cheek as they watched each other in the mirror, she sniffled and smiled softly, "You need a haircut again."

Elliot wrapped her snuggly in his arms, "You can cut it tomorrow if you want." He offered knowing she was going to want to do anything to keep her mind busy.

"I'm exhausted." She whispered, as another tear slipped out of her eye.

"Come on." He whispered leading her back to the bed and pulling back the comforter for her, then surprising her when he slid in next to her.

"You hate my side of the bed." She informed him.

Elliot reached over and slid a sleeping Samuel a little further over to his side and then turned off the bedroom lamp. He pulled her as close to him as possible and kissed her softly on the lips, "Tonight, I'm going to hold you."

A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting, I took a pretty good hit in a sparring session and I was literally having vision problems and vomiting blah blah blah…hope ya all like it and believe me when I tell you…things are about to go nuts!


	22. Chapter 22 Metamorphosis

Divided We Fall

Chapter 23 Metamorphosis

A/N: A little short, a little fluffy…and really mean. Hee hee.

Elliot's eyes fluttered open starring into darkness, still holding his wife as she slept. Weather she was sleeping peacefully or not, he wasn't entirely sure. Her breath was steady against his chest with the slightly quicker breaths of Samuel acting as her back up. He slowly untangled his body from Olivia's and slid out of the bed making the smallest movements possible, knowing she absolutely needed to rest.

He padded barefoot and boxer clad body into his son's nursery flipping on the light and squinting against its arrogance. It was the same motions he made over the last year, but today it felt like the first day that he'd found out Isaac was gone. He walked somberly to the crib and noticed for the first time a small stuffed puppy placed in the crib. He smiled picking it up and recognizing it as something Olivia had picked up in the store one day. She hadn't given him a reason as to why she wanted to buy it and he didn't find it necessary to ask.

He stared at the stuffed puppy remembering when he held Isaac and allowed CrackerJack to play with him. He hoped that someone was playing with Isaac, that someone was feeding him and paying attention to his needs. He smirked knowing that who ever had him, was more than likely in for more than they bargained for. A young child with two of the most stubborn people's blood running through his veins should make for an eventful upbringing…that he and Olivia were being robbed of.

The sob crept up and leapt from his throat before he could do anything to stop it. He clutched the fake puppy knowing if it were real it wouldn't have stood a chance against his pain. He wept bitterly for his son as he slowly slid down the crib onto the floor. He rested his forearms over his knees and cried relentlessly as his body heaved.

He'd thought that things would feel better knowing Isaac was alive, but here, alone, he felt the weight of the world constrict him. New worries formed in his mind, if he's scared of the dark are his kidnappers being attentive to that? If he's suddenly allergic to something will they know how to respond? If cold will they warm him? If upset, could they bring comfort?

Deciding it was better to think his son were dead he heaved and continued to weep even when he felt Olivia kneel next to him and embrace him tenderly as she cried with him. There were no words spoken, no comic relief or sarcastic banter. There was Elliot, broken with Olivia, there was no attempt at comforting words, each knowing that the winds of sorrow would simply blow them into the atmosphere. There was nothing to be heard except the mourning of two people, it's a phenomena when the strongest things in the world break, it's humbling to the average to see the elite vulnerable. There was nothing except their gentle cries.

And a saving voice.

"Olivia? Elliot?" Sam spoke softly from the doorway.

Olivia wiped her tears quickly and tried to speak normally, "Hey buddy, how come you're awake?"

"I don't know." He whispered with furrowed brows picking up immediately on her change of tone. He walked to the sound of her voice, and sniffles, "Is Elliot here?"

"Right here buddy." Elliot identified himself trying to keep his tears in check seeing no reason why Sam should be put under any more stress.

Olivia watched in precious silence as Sam cautiously made his way to them and kneeled in front of them both, "It's me." He whispered with a smile and Olivia knew he was doing exactly what she did for him when he was huddled, frightened and scared. Sam rested one hand on Elliot's knee and his other on Olivia's, "It's okay." He informed him in a delicate voice that Elliot was surprised he had.

"Do your hearts hurt?" He asked gently before surprising the both of them by nuzzling his way into Elliot's lap and reaching out to hold Olivia's hand.

"A little bit." Olivia whispered giving him a gentle squeeze as Elliot embraced him.

Samuel adjusted himself from Elliot's lap to Olivia's wrapped his arms around her neck, "I don't like it when your heart hurts." He whispered.

Olivia sniffled and hugged him tightly, "Either do I, baby."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

John Munch stood at the doorway of Captain Cragen's office and watched him intently until he finally spoke up and entered the office, "I'm requesting my terminal leave."

Cragen lifted his head immediately, "Excuse me?"

"My terminal leave…I've got about four months on the books then I'll retire."

"John." Cragen leaned back in his chair and furrowed his brows, "We have had our differences before." He said calmly.

"Yeah, we have." He shook his head softly, "I've gotten older…priorities have changed." He told him calmly.

"When should I make this effective?" Cragen furrowed his brow.

"Immediately."

"There's nothing I can do to change you're mind?" Cragen asked sincerely.

"It's too late for that."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hours later Olivia found herself waking up to the soft sunlight flowing into the room. She turned to see a sleeping Elliot but there was no sign of Samuel.

"Elliot, wake up." She spoke groggily as she shook his body.

"Too early." He muttered back.

"Where's Sam?" She shook him again and caused him to sit up.

"What do you mean where's Sam?" he looked around noticing the bed was void of his presence. He left the comfort of the bed quickly with Olivia on his heels checking in the office then nursery and in both cases finding no signs of the young boy.

"Samuel?" Elliot called as clam as possible although he felt his body growing tenser with each passing moment.

"Sam, answer please?" Olivia called walking through the living room and stopping dead in her tracks when she saw him out of the corner of her eye from the kitchen. She motioned for Elliot to fall in next to her as she wraped her hand around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. They stood, watching Sam move carefully about the kitchen, feeling his way over the countertops until his hands stopped at the bowls he'd gotten out of the strainer and filled with cereal.

Elliot whispered softly, "What's he doing?"

"I think," She smiled, "that he's making breakfast."

Olivia watched Samuel splash traces of milk as he poured it into the bowls, he was as careful as he could be but Olivia knew there would be a clean up session, and she smiled knowing she wasn't bothered by it.

Sam opened one drawer feeling carefully and then closing it and opening another, until he found the spoons he was looking for. He stopped suddenly and frowned in the direction of the cereal.

"uh oh." Elliot whispered taking a step forward to see what the matter was until Olivia held him back.

"No," she whispered, "It's the rice crispies, they're popping." She smiled watching the young man again, until they finally made their way into the kitchen, "Good morning Sam." Olivia spoke softly, partly because she didn't want to startle him and partly because she woke up with a slight headache from crying.

"I don't think this is cereal." He shook his head, "Is this cereal, Olivia?"

Olivia chuckled softly, "Yep, I thought you might like it."

"What is it doing?"

"Well," She held the box in her hand, "According to this they're snapping, crackeling and popping."

"You can eat it?" he furrowed his brows in wonder.

"Yep…what got you out of bed so early?" Elliot chimed in.

"I wanted to make you're hearts not hurt" He smiled and tapped the bowls, "breakfast."

"That's very nice of you Sam." Elliot smiled smothering his hair and ducking his head to kiss him softly on the crown of his head, "You're a good man, Sam, but I see there are only two bowls and there are three of us."

"I'm sleepy." He yawned and furrowed his brows.

Olivia noticed the change in his posture, only seconds ago he was a beaming breakfast hero and in the short expanse of a yawn he became the defeated boy she remembered in the dressing room while they shopped. "Sam." She kneeled in front of him, "besides waking up and sitting with us, did you sleep well?"

"No accidents." He whispered sadly and simply walked away from her into the bedroom.

"What was that all about?" Elliot questioned setting the bowls on the table and wiping up the spilt milk.

"I don't know." Olivia furrowed her brows and watched Sam hang a right and walk into their room, "I'll go fi-" she was cut off when the phone rang. Elliot handed her the phone after he'd answered it.

"It's Alex."

Olivia furrowed her brows and looked at her clock not realizing it was so late in the morning, "This is Olivia." She said surprised at how weak her own voice sounded, she cleared it immediately, "Uh huh…if he'll go…I'll talk with him…okay, bye." She clicked the phone off and turned to Elliot, "Would you mind if Alex took Sam for the afternoon…I think we could use the alone time."

Elliot arched his brows, and swallowed a spoonful of the crackling cereal, "Do you think he'll go? He seemed a little upset just now."

"I don't know…do you want to talk to him or should I?" She asked taking a bite of her cereal and frowning.

"What's wrong?"

"Not hungry."

"Liv." He scolded, "You need to eat something."

"I will…just, my stomach is killing me already." She ran her hand through her hair and turned before he could talk with her, "I'm gonna go talk to Sam, see what's up." She offered walking down the hall.

"Samuel." She called from the doorway watching him drum his fingertips along his belly. "Can I talk to you Sam?" she asked as she padded softly into the room.

Sam spoke sadly, "I don't want to talk." He shook his head in disagreement as she stood next to the bed.

"Can I lay with you Sam?" She asked trying to find some way to open the little boy up to her.

While he didn't say yes, he didn't say no either. Olivia lay next to him, careful to give him his space, but found herself surprised when he scooted over to her and exhaled deeply as she wrapped her arms around him.

After several minutes of silence, Elliot leaned against the doorframe of the bedroom and silently encouraged Olivia to talk to him.

"Sam," She brushed his hair back from his eyes making a note that it needed to be cut, "did you have a bad dream?"

Sam squirmed only for a second in her arms before answering with a barely audible, "Yeah…scary."

"Why didn't you wake me or Elliot up, so we could help you?" She inquired softly.

"No spankings." He shook his head frantically.

"No…never." She soothed him softly, "If you're scared you can always wake one of us up, you can wake us up whenever you need too." She whispered kissing the top of his head and exhaling knowing that there was a good probability that his dreams didn't involve a simple monster in the bedroom closet or being teased in school. She knew it was far more grotesque, far more sinister.

"Tell me what you dreamed Sam." She instructed not wanting to know, but understanding that he had to talk sooner or later, and there was no place better to start the walk than in the midst of two people who, in one week, have probably loved him more than anyone in his short life time.

"I don't want to." He sniffled, "It's scary." He informed her clutching to her tighter.

"Sam," she motioned for Elliot to step into the room, "Elliot and I have bad dreams sometimes too."

"Really?" he furrowed his brows, "Elliot has bad dreams?"

"Yeah, he does and he's right here if you want to ask him."

"You have bad dreams Elliot?"

"Yeah buddy, a lot actually." He assured him.

"What makes you not scared?" Sam asked still unwilling to let go of Olivia.

"I talk to Liv and she makes me not scared." Elliot whispered the truth.

"You can make it go away Olivia?" he asked in awe, as if she had some magical power to do so.

"I might be able to, but you have to talk to me sweetie…it might not go away today, but if you talk when your scared then pretty soon you'll see that you're not afraid anymore." She exhaled and waited for him to speak; when he didn't, she encouraged him one last time, "It's okay to tell, Sam. Elliot and I love you and because we love you we'll never hit you or hurt you on purpose."

"I dreamt my daddy came and hurt me again." He spoke softly as Elliot closed his eyes knowing what would be coming next.

"How did he hurt you?" she asked already knowing.

"He did bad things." He sniffled, "He hurt me a lot."

"What did he do?" She asked wiping her own tear away.

"In the shower…my bottom, he hurt me." He cried gently against her chest as she stroked his back softly. "I loved my Daddy but he makes me cry…and he came and got me and hit me again…he burns me again when I sleep."

Olivia bit her lip realizing now that the scars she saw on his legs when he changed were indeed burn marks. "Sam, did your daddy burn you when you weren't sleeping?"

He shook his head affirming her suspicions and continued telling her his story. After several minutes of Sam's cries, his nervous death grip on Olivia's body and Elliot's occasional encouragement, they had heard enough to make even the most seasoned SVU detective squirm and vomit.

"Sam," Olivia whispered, "can I tell you a secret of mine?"

"You have a secret?" He asked with a faint smile.

"Yes I do…can I share it with you?" She asked softly.

"Yeah." He shook his head.

Elliot watched as Olivia slid her T-shirt up just barely enough to see her remaining scars. He touched her leg softly and smiled compassionately, knowing what she was doing for the sake of the young boy's sanity.

Olivia covered Sam's small hand with her own, "I was hurt too, Sam." She whispered pressing his fingertips against her abdomen and letting him trace the remaining scars from her knife wounds, "I was burned too." She told him softly as his fingers ran over the cigarette burns.

"Does this make your heart hurt?" he asked withdrawing his hand.

Olivia straightened her shirt, "Sometimes."

"What makes it better?" he asked nuzzling closer to her.

Olivia looked up at Elliot whose cheeks were stained with silent tears; she smiled softly, "I talk to Elliot and I know that he loves me and would never hurt me…he makes the pain not hurt so much."

"I can tell you when my heart hurts?" he asked softly.

"Absolutely…we want you too! You can talk to Elliot too…because he's a big boy like you." she smiled and kissed his cheek softly, "Does your heart hurt still?"

Sam paused for a moment and smiled softly, "Not so much."

"It's only gonna get better Sam." She smiled, "Guess what?" she tickled him softly.

"What?" he laughed and kicked trying to get away from her as he grinned.

"Alex called."

"Can she come and have ice cream with me?" he asked with a grin.

"I think she has something better."

"Than ice cream?" he furrowed his brow at the concept.

"How about a tiger?"

"A tiger?" he tilted his head.

"And a monkey."

"Monkey?"

"She wants to know if you'd like to go with her to the zoo, they have an area that you can pet, smaller animals, like goats and Llamas."

"What's a Llama?'

"It spits." Elliot smiled.

"Can I go?" he grinned.

"Absolutely." Olivia smiled, "Jump in the shower…Alex is gonna be here pretty soon."

Olivia exhaled and watched as Sam made his way into the bathroom, "Need help?" Olivia called to him and smiled when he declined because he was a big boy and could do it him self.

"That was…intense." She whispered as Elliot positioned himself next to her.

"I'm proud of you."

"Proud?" She furrowed her brows.

"You didn't have to rehash your wounds to help him."

"Maybe I did…maybe that's why we have him, maybe that's why God gave him to us." She whispered. "He's helping us…we're helping him."

Elliot kissed her gently on the mouth, "I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled then exhaled and rested back against the pillow, "We've got a lot to sort out today don't we?"

"We'll make it." He told her softly sliding his hand softly under her shirt and tracing a scar with his fingertip, "We always make it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So then we're screwed, correct?" Donovan chirped sitting across from Melinda and chewing on a pencil.

"Well," Melinda smirked, "You may not be screwed…considering the lack of girlfriend… but yeah, figuratively speaking, we're screwed." She exhaled and tossed the pencil on her desk.

"I don't think, I've ever had one case turn into three." Donovan scrubbed his palms against his face and noticed he had a five O'clock shadow…from three days ago. "Tell me something Doc." He smiled and caressed his chin, "Do I look hot with facial hair or without it?"

"Neither." She chuckled.

He narrowed his eyes at her and shook his head feigning hurt, "Well, actually now that I think about it…it's more like four cases."

"How's that?" She furrowed her brow in concern that she may have missed something.

"Well, case number one would be who's the baby we exhumed and how why did it die." He informed her holding up his index finger, "Case number two," He added another finger, "Who kidnapped Isaac Stabler?" He added a third finger, "Case number three the NYPD cover-up. And last but not least case number four, the impending assault and battery."

"What the hell are you talking about?" She furrowed her brows and looked down at the reports in front of her, "There was nothing about an assault."

"Impending assault." He reiterated.

"I don't follow." She shook her head.

Donovan leaned in to her, "Come on Melinda…you know if Olivia and Elliot ever get their hands on Chief Serna or the person who kidnapped their son…they'll beat the hell out'em."

Melinda exhaled, "If not kill them."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Are you sure I should have come?" Robert asked Alex softly as she knocked on the door to the Stabler residence.

"I think it will be good for him, and if he can't handle it then we'll call you a cab." She informed him, I think I have enough report with him that he'll come as long as I'm with him." She smiled and knocked on the door, then turned and crashed against his lips stepping closer into him and separating his lips with her tongue and exploring him suddenly more gently.

"Ahem." Olivia smiled at the door; "Think you can break that lip lock for a couple of minutes?"

Alex separated with an unashamed smile and giggle softly at the embracement that ran rampant over her husband's features. She was always getting him into precarious situations, and while he would never fess up she knew he loved every minute of it. "We're here." Alex declared with a sneaky smile then reached out and drew Olivia in a tight hug, "Casey called me last night, I'm sorry you had to find out that way." She whispered in her ear and was ready to let her go when she felt Olivia still holding on, "You and me dinner…tonight?" Alex asked softly as Olivia finally broke the embrace and led them into the house.

"I don't think it would be good to leave Elliot by himself tonight." She said softly, stopping to give Robert a friendly hug that she'd forgotten to do at the door.

"Then tomorrow."

Olivia chuckeled, "Church."

"Church?" Alex furrowed her brow, "When the hell…er…heck did that happen?" she asked fully surprised, "I thought Olivia didn't do church?"

"Well," Olivia smiled, "She's gonna attempt it, I think it'll be good for Sam too…speaking of which…" She nodded her head for Alex and Robert to look down the hall, she whispered softly, "He wore his tie just for you, Alex."

Alex smiled and nudged Robert, "You may have yourself some competition."

"Should I be concerned?" Robert whispered to Olivia not necessarily about the competition.

"I can ask him if he doesn't mind you tagging along." Olivia assured him and met Sam as he walked into the living room.

"Hey buddy, that's a very handsome tie for a very handsome boy." She smiled and touched his shoulder to let him know where she was, "Alex is here and I have a very important question to ask you." She prepared him crouching down in front of him.

"Okay." He gripped his cane and Olivia noticed his knuckles turn white, she touched his hand softly, and offered a comforting laugh, "Not that important honey…do you remember Alex's husband?"

"Robert." He stated his name simply.

"Yep…would you mind if he went with you and Alex today?" she asked softly and then ducked her ear to his lips when he motioned her to do so.

"What if I have to go to the restroom?" he whispered innocently

"Um," Olivia furrowed her brows in thought, "Then Alex will take you but she'll wait outside of the stall okay?"

He motioned to her again and whispered, "No showers or spankings?"

"None." She assured him. "I promise with a pinky swear." She laughed and latched her pinky with his and then smiled when he agreed to let Robert join them. "I'll have my phone on, so will Elliot and Alex has all the numbers okay?"

"Ok." He smiled and made his way over to Alex who was talking to Robert, "We're gonna get spit on?" he asked seriously causing Alex and Robert to look down at him in curiosity.

"He means, are you gonna see the Llamas…that spit." Olivia clarified, and ushered them to the door stopping Alex for a second as Robert led Sam, "Please be carefully of other men around him it scares him, if he has to go to the restroom, you'll have to take him, don't tell him he's in the ladies room, but please wait for him outside of the stall, our cel-"

"Olivia." Alex stopped her by gently placing a hand on her arm, "Take a breath, were gonna have fun, if I have questions I'll call. If he needs to talk to you we'll call." She assured her, "He's gonna be fine, we're gonna be fine and you and Elliot are gonna be fine…use this time to talk things out, be there for one another, don't worry about Sam…he's in the best hands after all." She winked and gave her another embrace.

"Alex," Olivia called to her again just as she stepped out of the house.

"Yes, Miss. Paranoia?" She teased.

"Monday night…coffee?"

Alex smiled and bowed her head as she walked away and called back over her shoulder "Six O'clock."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He parked his car along the curb of the upscale suburbia. Turning off the engine he sighed and waited as he stared at the house that wasn't his. He found it ironic that he had put in years of distinguished service as an officer, sacrificed for the job, and gave up on the notion of peaceful sleep and so much more for the sanctity of the badge.

He held his shield in his hand and looked back at the house knowing that what he was going to do, would metamorphous him from distinguished cop…to angry perp.

A/N: sniffs air like a puppy What's that smell? Oh, right…smells like a cliffhanger!


	23. Chapter 23 Set Into Motion

Divided We Fall

Chapter 23 Set Into Motion

Olivia gladly accepted the cup of hot tea Elliot handed her as he sat next to her on the couch. "Do you think Sam is okay?" she asked taking a careful sip of the tea and smiling, "Peach?"

"Yeah, thought you might like it." He smiled and opened his arms form her to curl up next to him. "I think Sam is just fine and in good hands right now." He assured her kissing the top of her head and taking a sip of his own tea.

"Frankie?" She asked simply.

"Well, it's a steep price, I don't know that we can just come up with it. We lost a lot of money not working overtime." He chuckled pitifully, "I think though that I'm just gonna keep my car for another year instead of buying the truck I wanted, that should leave us a little room."

"Elliot," She smiled and looked up at him, "There's plenty of money in our savings."

"Yeah," He furrowed his brows, "I saw that…how the heck did you manage that?"

She smiled softly, "It's called budgeting…something you know nothing about." She winked and kissed his chest softly through his shirt.

"Well, I think it would be wrong to reward my drunken escapade with a new truck, so I think we should hold off just the same." He informed her in all seriousness.

"So, you're just gonna keep crawling through the passenger side?" She smirked, "Just turn it into the insurance company."

"No way, then our rates go up."

"Alright," She shook her head, "When did you become Mr. Financially Responsible?"

"Since I saw the price college tuition is gonna costs by the time Sam goes to school." He groaned at the number, "But also," He grinned and tickled her abdomen, "If we have a daughter, there's all sorts of things we have to do…buy pink things…buy princess stuff…buy a gun-"

"A gun?" Olivia cocked a brow.

"Well, you didn't think I was gonna let her date did you?" He smiled and winked to let her know he was just kidding.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?" he furrowed his brows at her sudden seriousness.

"I'm going to say something that may make you angry."

"Okay…I'll try to be logical." He assured her stroking her arm softly as she continued to lean against him.

"I think we should have Samuel see a shrink…maybe Huang." She took another sip of the tea and reached to place it on the coffee table then sat back to look at him, "Do you hate the idea?"

"Actually," He placed his own cup next to hers and took her hands into his, "I was starting to think the same thing, with the nightmares, being afraid of men…I think it would be for his own good, but…" his voice trailed off.

"But what?"

"Liv, when you were in the hospital, the Doctor suggested you see someone and you never did…why?"

"Does it matter?" she furrowed her brows, "I beat it."

"You didn't eat this morning."

"Come on Elliot…I never ate Rice Crispies before and it felt weird in my mouth." She defended, then looked at him closer, "What are you suggesting?"

"I'm suggesting that maybe…I can't believe I'm saying this…maybe we should all three go."

"Wow." Olivia arched in brow in complete surprise, "Who are you? And what have you done with my husband?"

Elliot smiled, "If you don't want to th-"

Olivia kissed him softly on the mouth effectively cutting him off, "I'll call Huang later on today…I think it's better if he meets Samuel first through."

"I think that will work." Elliot smiled, "So…were gonna get our heads shrunk huh?"

"Looks that way." She kissed him again then pulled back when she head a knock at the door, "Are we expecting someone?"

"No." Elliot shook his head and helped her off the couch as they both made their way to the door.

"It's a courier." Elliot furrowed his brows after looking through the peephole.

"Well, open the door." Olivia smiled.

"Can I help you?" Elliot asked opening the door to the young courier.

"I have a delivery for Mr. And Mrs. Stabler." He smiled handing Elliot a small letter sized box to which he passed off to Olivia.

"Can you sign here for the message please?" The young man asked, handing a pen to Elliot who was frowning in confusion.

"Message?"

"Yes, there was a message for this package." He told them as Elliot signed and returned the clipboard.

"What's the message?" Olivia asked with furrowed brows as she looked on the box that had no return address.

The young courier ran his finger down the clipboard and read the message, "Open after five P.M…have a nice day Sir…Ma'am." He bowed his head slightly and turned to walk away to his truck.

Elliot closed the door staring at Olivia, "Open it."

"El, you heard the message." She scolded with a smile, "Come on follow the rules for once."

"Curiosity isn't killing you?" he asked in shock that her detective radar wasn't yelling at her to open it up right then and there.

"It absolutely is…which is why, I'm going to put it on the counter and we're going back in the living room to finish our conversation…then figure out something to kill any remaining time." She waggled her brows.

"Hey," He furrowed his brows, "I thought you were currently unable?"

"Well…doesn't mean we can't _tell_ each other what we _could_ be doing." She grinned, "Now come on…we've got a whole lot to deal with this morning."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He looked down at his watch, then back up to the house, grateful that there were no children living here, grateful that, if things did go south, the only blood that would be shed would be that of a guilty man or a righteous perp…if there were such a thing. He opened the glove compartment and pulled out a hand held recorder sticking it in his jacket pocket. He sighed and took one last glance at his badge before depositing it in the glove box. He stared at his unregistered gun and pulled the slide back watching as the color of brass chambered itself. He disengaged the safety…and continued waiting.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ow!" Alex jumped, "That goat just tried to shove his horn up my a-"

"Samuel," Robert interjected before the cuss word could reach his ears, he gave Alex a disapproving look then smiled knowing it was funny just the same, "want to pet the pot belly pig?"

"Did he eat a pot?" Samuel furrowed his brow.

"No," Robert laughed, "but if you let me hold your hand I can show you why they call him that."

Sam reached out and clutched Alex's trousers, "Can Alex show me instead?"

"Sure thing boss man." Robert smiled, knowing it would take awhile to gain his trust but he would continue to wait if that's what it took to make him comfortable around him.

Alex led Sam over to the little black pig, "Have you ever pet a pig before Sam?"

"No." He laughed.

"Alright," she smiled and covered his hand with her own, "Pet soft, so we don't scare him," she frowned and looked down at the animal, "or her."

"Feel his nose." Robert instructed softly, "It's very different from our own." He smiled knowing full well that he and Alex truly did sound like a bunch of teachers.

"It's squishy and flat." Sam giggled, "Not big like, Elliot's."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia traced tiny shapes into Elliot's clothed abdomen, "When I fell asleep last night…I was wondering if this is really happening." She confessed, "It was hard believing Isaac died but, knowing he's alive…it hurts more."

"You wonder if he's okay…if they're taking care of him." Elliot stated knowing that those were his own concerns as well.

"Can I tell you something?" She asked looking up at Elliot.

"Sure."

"I was thinking about leaving SVU-"

"What?" He furrowed his brow

"Let me finish." She smiled softly, "I was thinking about it but, last night I decided that the only way we could even come close to finding him is by using the resources of the unit."

"You thought a lot last night." He smiled sadly knowing that meant she didn't get much sleep. He stroked her hair softly as they continued to talk.

"What do you think he looks like?" she whispered journeying her hand just under his t-shirt to trace the contours of his muscles.

"I think he's a gorgeous little boy…like his mother."

"You think his hair might have darkened?" she smiled, "I'm still not sure where he got that blond hair."

"It's a possibility." He assured her stoking her arm gently, "Think he still has those eyes?"

"I hope so…he was so adorable." She smiled letting a tear run down her face and absorb into Elliot's shirt.

"When we go back to work…we'll have access to his case." He informed her.

"I know." She sniffled, "Can I tell you something that might sound odd?"

"Yeah."

"I think this year off was good for us…I wish it were under different circumstances, but I think it was good nonetheless." She told him as she continued to trace the shape of his abdomen.

"We've been able to learn a lot about each other…spent a lot of time with each other." He assured her.

"De-toxed from the job." She smiled sliding her hand up slightly further against his flesh.

"Made _a lot_ of love." He chuckled.

Olivia looked at him with a small smile and shinny eyes, "There's still a month and a half left…a lot more can happen." She smiled playfully.

"Liv," he stroked her hair, "do you think it's bad, that we're still happy…even though Isaac isn't with us?"

Olivia exhaled and thought for a brief moment, "I don't think so…I think we owe it to ourselves to be happy…we owe it to Sam, we're not shutting Isaac out of our minds, but let's face it…we now know what it's like to be the victim…waiting for the detectives help."

"Yeah," Elliot scoffed, "only this time…the detectives never were helping."

"I know." She pressed her lips as another tear fell, "but we can look on the bright side."

"And what would that be?" he asked softly wiping her tear away.

"When we go back to work, Isaac will have two of the best on his case."

"You think Cragen will allow that." He asked her softly, and then noticed the anger that crept into her eyes.

"He doesn't have a choice."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He watched from his vehicle as the black SUV glided over the asphalt and began to slow. The right blinker flashed and the parasite of a driver started to turn into the driveway. He drank that last of his coffee marveling at how strong it was and wondering if it was the soul cause of his ulcer. He thought it probably wasn't considering his job. He watched as the parasite climbed out of his luxury vehicle, and he wondered how someone like him could wear the uniform, how someone could betray the very thing it stood for. All would be settled tonight.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Thank you for pulling me out of the house...I was starting to get angry." Olivia smiled interlacing her hand with Elliot's as they walked through the city.

"I know… I thought maybe some time back in the city…thought you would like to be here for awhile." He smiled looking down at himself and then at her, both in jeans and light sweaters.

"What's funny?" She smiled.

"Us…we look like a bunch of schmoes." He smiled.

"Well," Olivia laughed, "I love it…I'm gonna hate getting back into those slacks and shirts."

"Really?" he furrowed his brow. "You look really hot in those clothes…I thought you liked them."

"I do look hot," she grinned, "And I do like them…but every once and a while, I like to go grungy…just be normal."

"Chocolate?" he smiled pointing across the street to a small café.

"I've never been there." She furrowed her brows, "Think they'll put a shot of cherry in it for me?"

"Only one way to find out."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Excuse me?" A young brunette next to the goat smiled.

"Yes?" Alex furrowed her brows wondering if they had done something wrong.

"I'm Leslie." She smiled and looked down at Sam as she shook hands with Alex.

"Good to meet you, I'm Alex, this is my husband Robert, and our good friend Samuel." She forced a smiled not knowing what exactly the young woman wanted.

"Um…please don't take this the wrong way." She blushed, "But zoos are about seeing the crazy animals…you know the tigers and monkeys…the fun stuff." She informed them.

"What are you getting at?" Alex shook her head slightly bothered by the young woman…who was she to say Sam wasn't having fun.

Leslie blushed knowing what it sounded like, "I'm the supervisor for the baby house." She smiled.

"Which is?" Robert shook his head, not following the young woman's train of though.

"It's where the infant animals are housed and fed before they go on display, we just had a few cubs and a monkey born about two weeks ago." She informed them and then looked at Sam with a smile, "I'm willing to bet he would love to hold that monkey."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Did he just call me mama?" Casey looked at Paul wide-eyed.

"Casey," He laughed, "He's can't even hold his own bottle…I'm pretty sure, he's not talkin'."

"A girl could hope." She shrugged her shoulders and leaned back into Paul's embrace propping Addison up against her thighs so they could both look at him.

"Have you heard from Olivia or Elliot?" he asked softly resting his hand on her abdomen and tickling Addison's foot softly.

"No," She whispered back watching her son fall asleep, "I thought that I'd give her time to digest everything, before I show up again."

"She loves you." He reminded her, "She's forgiven you."

"I know but-"

"You won't forgive yourself."

"Should I?"

"You know you should."

"I can't."

Paul nuzzled her cheek softly from behind and gave her a gentle kiss "You will."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Alright Sam," Leslie smiled, "I'm gonna let you hold Izzy, he's a two week old monkey." She smiled sitting the monkey in his lap.

"Wow, Sam…you look like a natural." Alex smiled, "I bet you Olivia and Elliot would want a picture, can we take one of you?"

"Yeah." He grinned, "I got a new friend." He smiled feeling the monkey softly. "What's this?" he asked tapping on the item he was inquiring about.

"Izzy's diaper." Leslie told him simply.

Sam grinned just as Alex snapped the picture.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He looked down at his watch and decided it was time to leave the comfort of his car and walk across the slightly cooled asphalt that would lead him to the lighter cement walkway and to the front door. He thought it odd how crisp the air felt around him, how brighter the flowers looked in the respective beds that lined the walkway. He wondered if that was what happened to the world when you were about to do something completely against everything you believe.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Can I call Olivia please?" Sam yawned in the back of the car.

"Sure, but we're about five minutes from you're house." Robert informed him, "Don't you want to surprise them?"

"I don't like surprises." He said simply, "Alex, can I call Olivia and Elliot…please?"

"Sure honey…is something wrong?" she asked him pulling out her cell phone and dialing the number before handing it to him and looking back at Robert with concern.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Your mouth tastes like chocolate cherry." Elliot smiled sipping softly from her lips and pressing her against the kitchen counter.

"Um," She smiled wrapping her hands around his neck and kissing him again, "that's because we just drank a lot of chocolate."

Elliot smiled and kissed her again running his hand through her hair and pulling her head softly back to expose her neck, "imagine my surprise," he whispered against her throat, "when I looked on that little piece of paper," he told her, nipping gently at her collar bone, "and saw that your fantasy was-"

Both growled at the ringing phone, "Whoever that is," Elliot shook his head and started to walk away to the bathroom, "Tell them they've got rotten timing."

Olivia laughed and picked up the phone, "Stabler residence this is Liv." She quickly held the phone away from her ear hearing the sound of a very happy Samuel, "Hi, Sam, are you having fun…really…did you take a picture…alright….bye." Olivia chuckled to herself and walked into their room to find it empty.

She furrowed her brows and ran her hand through her hair, "Elliot?" she called for him then suddenly yelped as he lifted her by her hips and playfully threw her on the bed, covering her quickly with his body and boyish grin.

"Mrs. Stabler." He smiled kissing her mouth and rubbing him self into her, "I have been a very patient man."

Olivia chuckled and kissed him again, "That was Sam on the phone."

"He's not having nearly as much fun as I am." He informed her, "Now, about that fantasy of yours-"

"Sorry to burst your bubble," she smiled and rolled on top of him. "But…" she trained her ear listening to the sound of closing car doors and smiled, "Yep they're in the driveway…I hope patience is you're virtue." She smiled and kissed him again before standing to her feet to walk away only to feel him embrace her from behind nibbling her earlobe and rubbing into her backside.

"The real question," he spoke seductively grazing his hand over her breast and hearing her moan gently, "is, are _you_ patient enough?" he smiled against her and then suddenly broke contact and walked out.

"That's piss poor El." She laughed following him out of the room.

"Nope," he laughed back at her, "That was just plain mean." He opened the door just as Alex was about to knock effectively silencing any further protest from Olivia.

"Hey!" Elliot grinned, "How was the zoo?"

"I held a monkey and petted a tiger and played with a turtle and heard the seal and-"

"Wow there partner….take a breath." Olivia laughed touching his shoulder to let him know where she was. "Let's let everyone in and then you can tell us what happened okay?"

"Okay," he grinned and passed her walking down the hall.

"Change into you're play clothes Sam…they're on the bed for you." She called to him.

"Okay." He responded walking into the bedroom.

"How was he?" Elliot asked welcoming them into the house and closing the door.

"He had a lot of fun." Robert smiled holding up the digital camera.

"Yep." Alex agreed taking it from him and turning it on to show them, "Fifty three pictures of fun…he probably smells like a monkey."

"A monkey?" Olivia furrowed her brows and looked at the LCD screen and laughing.

"What?" Elliot peered over their shoulders and smiled at the picture of Sam holding the monkey who was taking off Sam's glasses, "Oh, man," Elliot laughed, "I really whish he could see that?" he said furrowing his brows at the thought and realizing that he wouldn't be.

"El," Olivia whispered, "it's okay…I'm sure he had fun."

"Actually," Robert smiled, "he wanted us to take as many pictures as possible to show you guys."

"Really?" Olivia asked with a small smile.

"Yep." Alex winked, "Download these and you can get the camera back to me on Monday."

"Thank you." Elliot smiled, "Want to stay for dinner?"

"Actually," Robert started to make his way back to the door, "We have a cocktail party to attend."

"Oh," Olivia smiled, "Sounds boring."

"You have no idea." Alex rolled her eyes and went to Robert, "I'll see you Monday Liv."

"Bye, have fun." Elliot teased.

"Hey, shouldn't Sam have been back by now?" Olivia furrowed her brows and started to make her way down the hall hearing Elliot fall in behind her and then run into her when she suddenly stopped.

"Liv." He scolded then stopped and looked at what she was grinning about.

"He's asleep." She smiled.

"He's half dressed." Elliot chuckled seeing that the little boy managed to change into his pants but only managed to get a t-shirt over his head and one arm in before he fell asleep with his legs hanging over the bed.

"I'll get him dressed…you pull out the sofa bed."

"Why not just leave him there?" Elliot furrowed his brows.

"El," She raised her brows, "you made a deal with him one week in our bed and one week in his…we have to be consistent." She informed him.

"You pay too much attention to rules." He smiled kissing her lips.

"Nope…just want him to have consistency in life…can you fix the bed please?"

"If he asks," Elliot kissed the corner of her mouth, "this is all your fault."

Olivia smiled, "Noted." And then walked to Sam.

Within minutes Olivia emerged with a sleeping Sam in her arms, "Where do I put him?" She groaned, "This kid weighs a ton."

"Here." Elliot smiled pulling the blankets back and then over his sleeping form when she laid him down. "You're a little old to be carrying big boys around the house Liv." Elliot grinned.

Olivia glared at him playfully, "No sex for you buddy."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He reached his hand out, amazed that it wasn't shaking, and rang the door bell knowing that when the door was answered, a chain of events would be set into motion. He listened as the locks turned from inside the house, and griped the gun at his side, praying that in the end Elliot and Olivia would forgive him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"No sex huh?" Elliot kissed her neck gently as she stood on the kitchen counter trying to balance the checkbook.

"Looks that way." She continued to tease him, "After all, I'm pretty old," she smiled typing figures into the calculator, "I'm scared you might break me with that one position." She chuckled then felt her breath hitch when he tongued that specific dimple near her clavicle and reached from behind to graze her breast, smiling as she sighed.

"Yeah." He laughed, "You couldn't hold out even if you tried." He teased her pulling up a chair next to her and brandishing a magazine in front of her, "The new issue of Men's Health came in today." He smiled opening it up, "Very interesting article in here about quickies."

"Yeah," She arched her brows and slid the calculator to him, "Well, the bank statement came in yesterday, and for the third time now it's short the same amount of money…start talking Elliot."

"Liv, I promised Munch I wouldn't say anything."

"You know what El…that's fine for a one time loan, even two, but this is like the fourth or fifth…something's up and half of what's in the bank is mine, which means half of what you gave him is mine, which means if I ask a question as to where the money went, I deserve an answer."

"You're upset." He furrowed brows and exhaled, "I didn't mean to upset you."

"Elliot," She smiled and covered his hand with hers, "I'm not upset, I just really need to know what's in the bank and what's not."

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why? Why do you need to know?"

"Well," She spoke a little shocked at the ridiculousness in the question, "it tends to determine what groceries I buy or whether or not I buy the shirt I thought was cute."

"No," He shook his head, "It's more than that…no one is as obsessed about bank accounts as you are, we have money Liv…why are you scared of not having any?"

"I'm not scared." She defended herself.

"Yes you are…talk."

Olivia bit her bottom lip and rolled her eyes, "It's stupid."

"Obviously not if it bothers you, what is it?"

"When I was a kid," She took a deep breath, "My mother…because of the drinking…never could keep money in the bank, we'd go shopping get to the register…and she wouldn't have enough cash, her cards would be denied…it's humiliating." She whispered rubbing the back of her neck and fidgeting with the pages of the checkbook.

"Liv," Elliot laced his fingers with hers, "I may be irresponsible with money at times, but I would never let you go hungry or without clothes."

"I know El-"

"I would never want you to be embarrassed." He whispered, and looked back at the checkbook. "John asked me not to say anything so I'm asking you not to say anything as well."

"Okay." She agreed.

"He didn't get specific, he just told me that he needed some extra cash to pay some legal fees."

"Legal fees?" She furrowed her brows, "He hasn't had a date in five years…who's he divorcing this time?"

"Like I said Liv," he shrugged his shoulders, "he wouldn't say."

"Alright." She shook her head softly then glanced at the clock and smiled, "one more hour."

"For what?"

"You have some short term memory." She shook her head and smiled standing to her feet and straddling his lap, "We get to open our mystery box in an hour."

"Can I open you while we wait?"

"Three to seven days buddy." She smiled and nibbled his lip, "but I'm sure we can come up with something in the meantime."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He adjusted his grip on his .9mm and felt with his thumb to make sure he had indeed disengaged the safety, he heard the lock of the door turn completely and the warmth of the house expel into the atmosphere as the parasite looked at him in confusion.

"Detective Munch?" he furrowed his brows.

John smiled and raised his weapon as he placed a foot over the threshold, "Hello, Chief Serna."


	24. Chapter 24 The Unfolding

Divided We Fall

Chapter 24 The Unfolding

"Take a step back Chief Serna." Munch calmly instructed with his gun raised at eye level.

"You've lost you're mind." The chubby chief whispered in shock.

"Careful with you're step Chief, you don't want to trip on that brick you just crapped." John smiled again, "And believe me when I tell you…I've never seen things more clearly that I have today." He told him walking into the house and gently closing the door with his foot.

"What do you want?"

"Nothing much…just the truth." Munch smiled and forced the chief to walk backwards, "There's a chair behind you, slightly to the left, sit in it."

"No."

"You just said I was crazy, yet you defy me…I'd hate to prove you right Chief….SIT!" Munch Barked. Stepping closer so that the barrel of the gun was inches form his face.

Chief Serna walked backwards then to his left and sat down as he stared at Munch, "You just ruined your career."

Munch peered sarcastically over his glasses and sat in a chair across from the chief, keeping the weapon trained on him, "Chief, my career was ruined the minute the doctor told me I had prostate cancer."

"You're going to kill me because you have prostate cancer?" The chief asked incredulously.

"I'll caution you on you're tone." John smirked using the very words Olivia had told him the Chief barked at Cragen during the Morris Commission. "I'm not here because I have prostate cancer Chief Serna, I'm here because there is a mother and father who go to sleep without their son. When they wake up…he's still not there. Do you know what that feels like?"

"What does a victim have to do with me?" The chief snapped starring at the gun.

"THE _VICTIMS_," Munch yelled, "Wear the same badge that you and I swore to uphold, they put they're lives on the line every damn day so that other mothers and fathers don't have to worry about their children!"

"Dete-"

"You turned them into a casualty for your own benefit!" Munch yelled waving his gun as he spoke.

"What do you want?" The chief barked again knowing that the slightest twitch of the finger could result in his death.

"I want you to tell me why you sold Detectives Benson and Stabler down the drain…I want to know why you turned you're back on you're duty to protect them as fellow officers. I want to know why you failed to protect them as civilians in need of our help!" Munch yelled again.

"I'm not gonna tell you shit!" Serna barked.

Munched eyed him carefully and rose slowly, "I use to tell my partner," he smiled, "that there comes a time in every cops life when he will forsake his badge for the benefit of a fellow cop."

He slowly removed his glasses and folded them against his chest before depositing them in his shirt pocket. "That's sort of the opposite of what you forsook your badge for…isn't it?" John asked walking closer to the chief and resting the barrel against his forehead, "It's a yes or no question."

Chief Serna swallowed hard and tried to blink the fear out of his eyes, "Yes."

"Here's how it's gonna work Chief, I'm gonna stick my hand in my pocket and pull out a little recorder then I'm going to ask you a very simple question…you're going to answer said question or I will kill you."

"You're to consumed with the fallacy of you're badge to shoot a fellow cop."

Munch smiled, "A fellow cop, yes…a piece of shit? Well, that remains to be seen…I'm going to stick my hand in my pocket…are you going to play my game?"

Chief Serna took a deep breath, "Yes but it wont hold up…they'll hear your voice on it…they'll come for you."

"Chief…I may be crazy, but I'm extremely intelligent, unlike you, I've covered all the bases. Let's play." He smiled and retrieved the small recorder from his pant pocket and pressed the record button.

"What's you're name and rank?" Munch asked raising the gun.

Serna clenched his jaw and let out a harsh, "Chief Carlos Serna of the NYPD."

"Chief Serna, why did you order a cover up of the kidnapping a subsequent death of Isaac Reagan Stabler who was the infant son of NYPD detectives Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson?"

Serna stared at the gun then at munch who simply smiled and trained it on his face encouraging him to answer.

"I instructed the Queens detectives to immediately cease the investigation of Isaac Stabler's death after a news story was read inferring that the department was unable to protect a city when they couldn't take care of their own families."

"Why did you come for their badges…why did you want them off the job, if you're only concern was to stop the bad press?"

Serna leaned forward with complete evilness seeping from his eyes, "Because no female deserves to wear a shield, they're a liability and Benson was case in point."

"So this was personal?"

"You're damn right!" Serna barked, "When opportunity knocks you open the door…opportunity knocked and I gladly opened it."

"And Detective Stabler, why his job, he doesn't have breasts."

"When you weed a flowerbed, you take out all the weeds not just the big ones." Serna smirked, "I've read their files, seen how they work…without her, he's a liability."

"Did you know that Isaac Stabler was not the baby they buried?"

"Do I care?"

"Answer the question Chief." Munch instructed training the weapon again as a friendly reminder.

"No, no I didn't know." He confessed.

Munch furrowed his brow, picking up the recorder and turning it off. "You're a bad cop." Munch smirked and retrieved a pair of handcuffs from his pocket tossing them to Serna.

"Get up."

"You're gonna cuff me then kill me?" He scoffed, "That you're idea of good cop?"

"No," Munch smiled, "Put one of the cuffs on…NOW!" he barked when Serna didn't immediately respond.

"Alright!" Serna yelled, "Just…ease up on the damn trigger."

"The same way you eased up on the Stablers?" He asked in full sarcasm. Munch looked at his watch then returned his focus on the chief once the cuffs hung from one of his wrists, "Empty all of you're pockets and pick up the phone."

Serna complied leaving his belongings on the counter, retrieving the phone and raising his hands once he was done.

"Walk to the restroom slowly, if you so much as fart too loud, you're gonna have a big problem." He informed him as he followed him into the restroom.

"Put the phone on the counter and kneel down." John smiled watching the Chief of police kneel to the floor of his own restroom, "Now open the cabinet." He instructed.

Chief Serna did as he was instructed as Munch took a step closer, "Cuff your self to the drain pipe…and do it right, no loosies." He smiled when he heard the rapid clicking of the cuffs engaging. He slowly opened the cabinet door with his foot to check and ensure he was truly cuffed.

When he was sure he was cuffed and not moving anywhere Munch gather all items that may aid in his escape. Time was carefully calculated in this situation and there could be no accident. He dumped all questionable items into a pile in the hall and placed the phone just out of reach of any of the chief's limbs. "You're gonna have to break you're wrist, and probably you're shoulder to get to the phone." Munch smiled, "And when you finally decide to break you're wrist to get out of the predicament, I want you to think about the pain Detectives Benson and Stabler felt when they thought they buried they're son."

Munch crouched down to look at him in the eyes, "And when you have to break you're shoulder to reach for the phone, I want you to think of the pain they felt when they realized their son wasn't dead and their leader betrayed them."

"You're not gonna get away with this."

"Chief," Munch stood to his feet and smiled, "I've theorized about the government for the better part of twenty years, I've researched, studied and even met people you would never believe even if I told you…believe me when I tell you I _can_ get away with this…and I'm going to."

Munch turned to leave the bathroom when he stopped and turned back to the chief, "You may have thought that Olivia was worthless but she has more balls than you ever will."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"It's four thirty." Elliot smiled seductively as he lay next to his wife.

"Yeah," She smiled, "That means I've been reading this book for fifteen whole minutes."

"You're killin' me woman." He smiled covering her abdomen with his hand, "I'd like to try and get my wife pregnant if that's okay with you?" He teased.

Olivia rolled her eyes and closed the book, "Thought I told you I'm currently unable to provide such services?"

"You also said you could _tell_ me what you _would_ provide if you _could_ provide it." He smiled boyishly slipping his hand under her shirt. "Besides," he kissed her breast under her t-shirt, "I seem to remember you were perfectly capable of having fun with your clothes on."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

John Munch looked around the gym carefully then headed into the female locker room announcing his presence first. Once he was happy no one was inside he quickly made his way to the locker number that he needed, made his deposit and locked it with the correct combination lock. He quickly took another look around and slipped out of the gym knowing that his deposit would soon become a dangerous withdrawal.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Told you you couldn't resist me." Elliot smiled kissing Olivia's neck as she straddled him in her bra and panties.

"Shut up." She whispered grinding herself over his erection, "Besides, looks like you're the one unable to resist me."

"Looks that way." She smiled and let out a soft moan as he nipped at her breast, "We should close the door." She breathed against him feeling him unclasp her bra.

"He's asleep." He mumbled against her lips as he cast the garment away.

"He could wake up." She whispered then yelped softly feeling his mouth on her breast.

"Liv?" he mumbled between ministrations, "Shut up."

Olivia giggled caressing his head as he continued to kiss her breast delicately. He grabbed her hips and pulled her closer to him, rubbing deeper against her.

"Keep doing that," she smiled arching her body back, "And I'm gonna loose it."

"That's kind of the point." He smiled and looked directly at her while he continued to move his own hips against hers, before he could ask her to let him watch as she climaxed her passion educed gaze gave way to pure mortification at the sound of Sam's voice coming from the door way.

"Elliot? Olivia?" he called into the room.

Olivia instinctively covered her breast and quickly moved off of Elliot's lap seeking refuge behind him, "Um Sam…what's wrong…why aren't you asleep?" she asked nervously. In spite of Sam not being able to see her, it was still humiliating.

"I thought I heard you, you sounded weird...are you okay Olivia?" He said innocently.

Elliot grinned at her sheer embarrassment. She rolled her eyes and tried to sound normal, "Yep, I'm good, do you need something baby?"

"I'm hungry." He informed her as he scratched his head, "Can we eat soon?"

Olivia smiled, "Sure honey, go back to the living room and I'll let you help me with dinner okay?"

"Okay." He smiled and simply walked away.

"That was humiliating." She rested her chin on Elliot's shoulder.

"That was hilarious." Elliot laughed, "I told you that you tend to yelp…you should try and get that under control." He teased.

"Oh, shut up and get your clothes on Stabler." She smiled standing to her feet and slipping quickly into her pants. "Where's my bra?" she whispered looking around the room and finally picking it up from the floor. "What are you looking at?" She asked clasping it and reaching for her t-shirt.

"It's ten minutes after five." He told her pulling his shirt over his head and smiling as she straightened out the hem of her own.

"Well then," she smiled, "let's go see what's in the box."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Please remove your shoes sir." The airport security guard instructed.

"Next thing you know," Munch smirked, "You'll want my pants off."

"Hardly Sir." The woman smiled smugly in return, "Go ahead and put you're things on the conveyer belt and enjoy your trip Mr. Barnett." She said as she handed him his boarding pass and identification.

John smiled back knowing it was a complete waste of federal funds to have people working the airports like they were if they couldn't even spot a fake I.D. "Enjoy your day."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Want an ice cream sandwich Sam?" Elliot asked as Olivia started to unwrap the shipping paper form the box.

"Before diner?" Sam furrowed his brow.

"Absolutely." Elliot smiled unwrapping half of it and handing it to him, "The deal is, that you have to wait patiently at the super table while Olivia and I talk for a second okay…do you want you're book?"

"Yes." He smiled.

"Please and thankyou's." Olivia reminded him softly from the counter.

"Please." Sam corrected himself with a smile.

Elliot pulled his walkman off the counter and helped him put it on. He turned around just in time to see Olivia's wide eyes and slacked jaw as she stared down into the box.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

John Munch rolled his eyes as the flight attended demonstrated the proper way to clasp the seatbelt. He couldn't even hear the woman over the sound of the cabin being pressurized and the people with their constant chatter. He finally exhaled as he felt the plane start to taxi and the captain's voice fill the plane, "Good evening ladies and gentleman, this is you're captain speaking." Munch smiled and pulled his glasses out of his shirt pocket and put them on as he listened to the captain's voice, "We should be landing in Phnom Penh in about eighteen hours."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What is it?" Elliot asked coming alongside Olivia and looking into the box.

"It's Isaac." She whispered pulling out the picture frame and looking intently at it, "He's older, but it's him." She said looking at the photograph.

"That's not a real photo though." Elliot furrowed his brows looking at the toddler smiling in the photo, "That looks like the age generated photos they make at the lab." He informed her.

"Why did someone send it to us?" she mumbled, tracing the small child in the pictured with her finger. "His hair darkened a little." She whispered.

"He has your nose." Elliot told her as he kissed her temple, "If that's a generated photo it will say so on the back." He reminded her and gently took the frame from her grasp.

Elliot pulled a butter knife out of a drawer and folded the metal clasps up so he could pull the cardboard backing off the frame. "What the hell?" he said in confusion as he stared at the back of the photo.

"What is it?" Olivia asked looking down, "Address?"

"Could be…but what's with the numbers and this symbol?" he asked pointing to it.

"That's the symbol for female." She muttered. "What's going on?"

Elliot shrugged his shoulders, "One way to find out…lets go."

"Um…you forgetting we have to feed Sam and we don't know if this is some kind of sick twisted trap." She told him.

"Sam!" Elliot called to him over the walkman.

"Yes?" The little boy took off the earphones and finished his last bite of the ice cream sandwich.

"You ever had a Happy Meal?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam happily ate his chicken McNuggets in the back seat of the mustang as he listened to his book.

"Are you sure you read the address right?" Olivia asked looking around at the businesses.

"Yeah, look." He instructed her as he held out the photo, "that's got to be it." He shrugged, "There's nothing else it could be." He told her.

"Elliot," She shook her head, "Why would a gym send us an aged enhanced photo of our son?"

"Well," he thought about it for a moment, "what if the gym didn't send it to us."

"What do you mean?"

"Let me see the photo again." He told her and then looked at it again, "Look," he pointed to the symbols and numbers, "The symbol comes first right?"

"Yeah."

Elliot retrieved a pen from the car's cubby and finished his theory, "The first three digits," he said underlining them, "Are one number, and the last six are three numbers." He told her underlining the numbers with three separate lines.

Olivia's eyes widened with realization she pointed to the symbol, "Female locker number 633," she continued to the next numbers, "Combination 32-13-24."

"You still got it Liv." He smiled, "Let's go."

"No." She held his arm, "I have too," she pointed at the symbol again, "Female…and someone has to stay with Sam."

"Be careful."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Chief Serna writhed around in frustration trying desperately to reach for the phone and realizing finally that John was correct in his assessment. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath before twisting his wrist at an uncomfortable angle and thrusting upward effectively breaking it in half and letting out an ear piercing shrill.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia managed to make her way through the gym staff telling them that she left her cell phone in the locker room and would only need a minute to get it. After they reluctantly obliged she retreated to the ladies locker room and searched quickly for the locker number. When she finally found it she manipulated the spinning face of the combination lock using the numbers from the photo finding her self surprised when she pulled down on the lock and it opened.

She slowly opened the locker and pulled out a tape recorder and large manila envelope. Deciding things would look odd if she left with an envelope after telling them she was there for a cell phone she tucked the envelope half way into the back of her pants and pulled her sweater over it. She turned to walk away when she stopped and pulled the lock off of the locker and stuffed it into her pants. She didn't know why she was doing it, she just new it had to be done.

She walked quickly past the staff at the front desk; she quickly and very boldly held the recorder up knowing it was about the size of a cell phone, "Thanks guys." She said before walking out of the gym and quickly over to the car, sliding in and telling Elliot to go.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot carried Sam into the house, "So basically all we do is feed him, drive him around and he's out like a light." He smiled and laid him on the pull out bed.

"Come on Elliot." She called for him as she took the contents of the locker with her to the house office.

"What's in the folder?" Elliot asked as she sat at the desk.

"That's what we're gonna find out." She murmured opening it up and spilling out a stack of blue legal briefs and a cd-rom.

Elliot immediately pushed the on button to the computer, "What's on that recorder Liv?" he asked seriously knowing that things were getting far too weird.

Olivia pushed play and they both stared at one another in shock as the two familiar voices began to talk "_What's your name and rank…Chief Carlos Serna of the NYPD."_

After the tape stopped they stood in front of each other in stunned silence. Elliot picked up the cd-rom, "Put it in." he whispered.

Olivia put the cd in the computer and spoke as she navigated the screen, "What the hell did John do?"

"I don't know," Elliot muttered looking at the legal briefs, "But here's a cashiers check for the money he borrowed." Elliot informed her looking through the stack of papers and then frowning, "And I think I know why he needed money for legal fees."

"What?" she asked double clicking on the file and finding only a blank page. She furrowed her brows at the screen and then looked to Elliot who passed the papers to her. She stood as she flipped through them; "See if you can get that file up, something's wrong with it." She said giving up her seat and pacing.

"Elliot."

"Yeah?" He answered as he tried to work with the file.

"This is a power of attorney making us responsible for Munch's possessions." She furrowed her brow and looked at the other brief, "and another one," she stared at it with raised brows, "making us his benefactors."

"What?" Elliot furrowed his brows and stood, "I can't figure the file out, all I get is a little green line at the bottom."

"What?" She sat down immediately, "Where?"

"Scroll down." Elliot told her and then pointed to a tiny wavy line on the screen.

"All of those conspiracy theories." She smiled.

"Did I miss something?" Elliot asked setting the forms down.

"The font is white that's why we don't see it."

"How do you know?" He asked looking at the screen.

"Munch's spelling is impeccable but the man can understand the subjunctive to save his life."

"The what?"

"Look," she pointed to the line, "When you write a letter on a computer and you do something grammatically incorrect a green line like this appears."

"But there's no words." He told her motioning to the blank screen.

"Not when they're white." She smiled following Munch's train of thought, "But if you highlight the page and change the font color…ta da…we have a letter." She smiled and sent the file to the printer.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Serna reached painfully for the phone feeling his wrist grind with each movement, while he was able to reach across the floor his shoulder was stopping him from being able to reach the phone. He closed his eyes knowing he was going to be in excruciating pain in a manner of minutes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot pulled the letter off of the paper and sat next to Olivia so they could both read it. She leaned in closer as they read it in silence to themselves.

_Dear Elliot and Olivia: _

_  
Let me first tell you that I apologize for having to borrow money form you, I hope the added amount I've given you for repayment makes up for my lack of tact. I find that there are no words that I can tell you to let you both know how sorry I am for what we did to you. I wish I would have been a better friend and fought harder for you, I hope one day you can forgive me completely. _

_You're probably wondering why you've got all these legal documents in you're hands…I was diagnosed with prostate cancer, numerous doctors have informed me that it is terminal and I've got maybe the rest of this year to enjoy my retirement, which I'll be doing by this time tomorrow. My lawyers know how to get in contact with you when the time comes. I didn't have a second thought about going to Serna once I found out because you two finally deserve to know the truth about Isaac._

_Tomorrow you should hear that Serna was found in his home in a precarious situation, know that I never touched him. Use the tape to nail him._

From here on out, I don't exist, you never heard from me after I came to your home with Cragen. I love you both and think of Isaac often. Alex tells me Sam is found of you, he's a lucky boy.

Me.

Olivia wiped a tear from her eye and felt Elliot's arm wrap around his shoulder, "He's gone." She whispered, "We never got to tell him goodbye."


	25. Chapter 25 The Grandparents

Divided We Fall

Chapter 25 The Grandparents

Olivia stood in the shower letting the hot stream hit her body. She massaged the back of her neck feeling the tense muscles that had forced her to wake up entirely too early. She exhaled deeply and smirked at the fact that today she would be trying her hand at church, not for undercover reasons like last time, but for personal reasons. She didn't know if it was necessarily a good thing or a bad thing but she did remember a sense of peace last time she was there and she knew that that was exactly what she needed today.

"Room for one more?" Elliot asked opening the door and causing a small start from her that the quickly set aside and smiled.

"Please, join me." She extended her hand to him to which he interlaced his fingers with hers and stepped in wrapping his arms around her waist tightly and resting his chin on her shoulder.

"You didn't sleep well." He informed her as if she didn't already know.

"No kidding." She smiled softly, "how did you know?"

"I felt you toss and turn, even Sam asked if you were okay this morning."

"Oh shoot!" She suddenly turned around, "No one is watching Samuel." She informed him and made an effort to step out of the shower.

"Liv." He called to her softly and pulled her back into the warmth of the shower, "I gave him the baby monitor from Isaac's nursery, I told him how to use it and he went back to sleep." He assured her kissing the back of her neck, "Let me help you today." He whispered massaging her shoulders, as she stood in front of him, head bowed to deflect the stream of water. Elliot reached further in front of her and poured liquid soap into his hands and whispered into her ear as he ran his hands over her back, "Tell me what's on you're mind Olivia."

"A lot actually." She whispered as he moved her away from the water's stream and splayed his hands along her petite rib cage.

"You can tell me." He assured her, gliding his slick hands around her waist and making small circles over her abdomen.

"Munch gave us enough money to pay for Frankie and get you're car fixed." She whispered and took in a deep breath has his hands gently covered her breast and he kissed her cheek.

"I already spoke with Frankie this morning he's gonna start today while we're out." He whispered, should be done by the end of the week.

"That fast?"

"It's all drywall and installation…throw down some carpet and you got an instant room." He assured her, "I'll help him out so it goes by faster and I think I'll illicit the help of Sam." He smiled against her running his hands over the length of her arms.

"I think he'll like that." She whispered reaching up and back to touch his face as he continued to wash her body, "What do you think we should do with the recording?"

Elliot grazed her spine with his lips, unconcerned with the formation of soap as he spoke against her flesh and slowly lowered himself, "I think we should sit on it, keep it to ourselves until we get back to work and see whose on our side and who's playing politics." He informed her sucking softly at the base of her spine and smiling at her soft moans as he continued still further kissing and tonguing the flesh of her derriere as he grazed his hands over the front of her quadriceps.

He stood slowly making sure to run his hands over the full course of her body, "You've got a cute little butt there Liv." He chuckled into her ear.

"Shut up." She laughed and shook her head.

"No, seriously." He splayed his hands over her bottom, "It fits my hands perfectly." He smiled against her, "I like it."

Olivia turned to face him with a seductive grin and took his lip into her mouth, "What else do you like detective Stabler?" she asked rubbing her hips against him.

Elliot grinned, "Well, someone's a little frisky this morning."

"Let's just say," she smiled turning her body to face the stream again, "that I'm capable of doing things I was otherwise incapable of doing." She winked rinsing her body off with her hands.

"Really?" He grinned pulling her back to him " I heard that the next five days should be pretty enjoyable for you then huh?"

"Well," She started to laugh then stopped, "Wait…how do you know that?" she furrowed her brows and blushed, "Most _women_ don't even know that."

"Well," he smiled, "The new issue of Cosmo also came yesterday…very interesting magazine you've been reading, Liv." He smiled then felt his breath momentarily stop when she ran her index finger along his shaft and then simply stepped out of the shower.

"We're gonna be late." She informed him with a smile.

Elliot groaned at her illusiveness and then smiled, "I'm really starting to hate foreplay." He huffed.

"Well," she smiled, "I'm sure I can make it up to you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"See, the church didn't burst into flames like you thought it would Liv." Elliot smiled resting his hand on the small of her back as they walked down the foyer.

"Do you think Sam had fun?" Olivia asked as they made their way to the children's Sunday school room.

"I think he knows more about the God than I do." Elliot confessed.

"Really?" Olivia furrowed her bows, "You think so?"

"Yeah," Elliot told her as he removed his hand from her back and opened the door to find Sam listening intently to the teacher as she led the group of kids in a closing prayer.

"Look at his face." Olivia whispered.

"He's so intense." Elliot smiled, "Like his mom."

"What?" She furrowed her brow, "His mother didn't protect him." She bit back.

Elliot heard the Amen signifying the end of the prayer then smiled at Olivia, "Who said I was talking about her?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey Sam, want to be my tool man?" Elliot smiled waking up next to the youngster and trying not to wake up Olivia who was sleeping peacefully on the other side of Sam.

"What's a tool man?" Sam asked yawning in the early morning light.

"Well, you can hand me the hammer and nails…and if you don't tell Liv…I'll let you play with the nail gun, and-"

"I heard that." Came Olivia's muffled and groggy voice.

Elliot and Sam let out a small laugh that Olivia couldn't help smile at. "Sam," she smiled and rolled over to him, wincing slightly at the pain in her body, "baby, go brush your teeth and put on play clothes…I didn't lay them out, I want you to try and get ready alone this morning, but if you need me call for me okay?"

"Are you wearing play clothes today Elliot?" Sam asked as he crawled off of the sofa bed.

"Yep." Elliot smiled at the concept, "Frankie is gonna be here pretty soon Sam, better hurry."

Sam stood near the foot of the bed with a worried look on his face, Olivia sat up on her elbows keenly aware that the bar of the sofa bed was killing her back, "What's with the Sad face Sam?" she smiled and sat up all the way reaching out to him and letting him sit next to her.

"Is Frankie nice?" Sam asked holding her hand tightly, "Or is Frankie mean?"

"Well," Olivia looked at Elliot then back at Sam, "Honey, I'm not gonna lie to you, I don't know Frankie, he's an old friend of Elliot's and I've never met him but can I tell you something?"

"Yes."

"I know that Elliot would never let someone bad into the house to hurt me or you." She squeezed his hand again, "You can trust me Sam, and if it makes you feel better, we'll meet him together okay?"

"Okay." He smiled softly and walked down the hall. Olivia smiled watching him, "Remember to go easy on the toothpaste Sam." She called after him remembering that the last time, things didn't go so well and she was cleaning up a lot of toothpaste from the sink.

When she was sure he was in the room and huffed and groaned laying back on the bed, "This bed, if you can call it a bed, is killing my back." She informed a grinning Elliot. "What are you laughing about?" She smiled, "Your wife is laying here in agony and you're laughing?"

"You're such a mom Liv." He laughed kissing her softly.

"How's that?" She furrowed her brow, "That's the second time you've eluded to that in the last twenty-four hours, fess up."

"You love him…admit it." He grinned again resting his hand on her waist.

"Well," She smiled positioning herself closer to him; "You're the grinning papa over here."

"What?" he feigned naivety.

"Yeah," she laughed, "already encouraging him to play with nail guns against your wife's better judgment."

"Well," He smiled, "I could just chalk up my defiance to sexual frustration." He laughed tucking her under him.

"Hey buddy," She smiled and nibbled from his lip before whispering, "I thought I eluded to the fact that I was ready yesterday."

"I was tired." He protested.

Olivia shrugged and grinned, "Sounds like a personal problem to me."

Elliot chuckled at the remark and kissed her lips, nipping at the lower of the two before making his way down his neck, "I could just take you right now, Mrs. Stabler." He whispered against her.

Olivia grinned and pushed him away, "We are so not making love in Sam's bed."

"Technically not his bed." He protested as she stood up and pulled him to his feet. "How about you and I…tonight?"

"Yeah?" Elliot grinned.

"Yeah…I've got coffee with Alex, but Sam's got school…Shoot!" she groaned looking at the clock, "Elliot, Sam's suppose to be in school!" she started to search frantically for car keys and tennis shoes when Elliot started laughing.

"You think it's funny…he's gonna be late."

"Martin Luther King."

"What?"

"Holiday." Elliot laughed, "I though that's why you told him to put play clothes on."

"No," She laughed, "I didn't want him to get his good clothes dirty when he was helping you and Frankie."

Elliot pulled her close to him, "You're worrying about him too much Liv, he's a little boy, he'll be resilient." He informed her kissing her gently on the mouth and smiling as she separated his lips with her tongue and he lost himself in the security of her mouth. When she separated he smiled at her narrowing his eyes in playfulness, "Oh, yeah…you want me."

"Elliot Stabler!" she pushed him gently only to feel him turn her around so he could hold her from behind, she smiled feeling his lips against her cheek, "I hope I'm never injured like Casey was…she couldn't make love to Paul for a _very_ long time." She reminded him with a smile; "I'm not sure how you survived those two months that-" she stopped immediately before she finished the sentence.

Feeling his arms loosed quickly she turned to look at him, the complete hurt and frustration in his eyes she took a deep breath realizing what she'd just done, "I'm sorry Elliot, I didn't mean it like that."

He forced a weak smile and shook his head taping her elbow lightly as he walked away muttering, "It was hard being away from you."

Before he could distance himself further from her she pulled him gently back to her, "Hey," She smiled compassionately and squeezed his hand, "It was hard to be away from you too."

Elliot nodded his head and simply walked into the garage.

"Olivia?"

"Yeah?" She turned to see Sam in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Ohh, handsome." She smiled despite that fact that she wanted to go talk to Elliot and make sure everything was okay between them

"Is it right?" he asked holding his arms out to the side for an inspection.

Olivia gave him a quick once over and smiled, "It's perfect Sam, can you run into the garage and tell him Frankie just drove up?" She asked hearing a car door slam and watching the tall man walk to the porch.

Elliot emerged just as Frankie knocked on the door.

"Ready Sam?" Olivia asked holding his hand. She nodded to Elliot to open the door when Sam shook his head yes.

"Frankie!" Elliot grinned hugging the tall bald man with weathered skin and broad shoulders, "How are you?"

"Good man!" The man's voice was oddly soft, almost as if he were deliberately keeping it soft. She felt the sweat and tighter grip coming from Sam and she rested her free hand on his shoulder to reassure him.

"I'd like you to meet my wife." Elliot smiled pointing to Olivia who shook his hand with an appropriate salutation and smiled watching the man crouch down to Sam.

"Ah, this must be our tool man huh Elliot?" Frankie smiled, and before Elliot could introduce Sam he surprised both Olivia and Elliot by extending his hand.

"I'm Samuel…nice to meet you Frankie."

"Well," Frankie smiled and shook the small hand, "It's nice to meet you, you're old man told me lots about you."

Olivia snapped her head so quickly to Elliot that she wondered if she might have damaged vertebrae, it dawned on her that he'd talked to Frankie and mention a few key things about Sam, and apparently referred to him as his son. He was avoiding her glance at all costs but she saw the guilty blush that crossed his features…and she didn't mind.

She returned her attention to Frankie who was smiling at Sam, "Alright Samuel, every good tool man needs a tool belt."

"I don't have one." He shook his head.

"Nonsense." Frankie smiled, "There's one right here…can I help you put it on?"

Sam took a visible step backwards reaching for Elliot's jeans, "I have to ask Elliot."

Elliot crouched next to him, "You can do what you're comfortable with Sam, but I can tell you that Frankie is a good man."

"Can Elliot put the belt on me?" Sam asked effectively surprising both Elliot and Olivia again. Elliot had anticipated Sam denying Frankie and asking Olivia…but not him.

"Absolutely friend." Frankie chuckled and tossed a small canvas apron like tool belt to Elliot.

"Alright Sam," Elliot smiled tying the bag around his waist, "we get to get really dirty today." He informed him and then whispered in his ear, "thank you Sam."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You're reading Law Review?" Olivia asked incredulously as she sat across from Alex and slid the digital camera over to her.

"Yep, keeps my brain sharp." Alex smiled closing the book, "That and Red Book was sold out…how you doing?"

Olivia exhaled, "I'm not sure." She laughed at the absurdity of not knowing how she was, "How are you?"

"Well," Alex beamed, "I'm doing pretty well, Robert says hi."

"Ah, tell him I said hi and thank you so much for spending time with Sam…that's all he's been talking about is the monkey, and the cubs, and he thinks its really cool that the Llama actually spit on him…I didn't have the heart to tell him that it was gross." Olivia laughed.

"He was so happy about that." Alex smiled and took a sip of her coffee eyeing Olivia, "your worried." She informed her as she put the coffee down.

"Huh?" Olivia furrowed her brows, "No I'm not, things are going pretty good right now."

"Olivia," Alex exhaled, "Why do you insist on lying to me when I ask you if you're upset, when you know I'm just going to tell you that you're lying and you should tell me anyway."

Olivia blushed, "You can take the prosecutor out of the courtroom but you'll never take the prosecutor out of the person huh?"

"Something like that…what's up? You know that whatever you say is between us?"

"Wow," Olivia teased, stalling for time, "You been talking to Huang lately."

"Funny…talk."

Olivia exhaled and took a sip of her coffee, "I don't know, it's a couple of different things I suppose."

"Such as."

"Elliot."

"Could you been more vague?" Alex smirked.

"I said something today I probably shouldn't have and I think it tore a scab off an old wound." Olivia informed her picking at the lid of her coffee.

"Talk to him."

"I did…but…ugh, the look in his eyes was unbearable." She said sitting back in her chair unconcerned with feminine posture as she slumped down in frustration.

"Talk to him _again_."

"That easy huh?" Olivia smirked.

"Talk…he'll listen…you'll have crazy make-up sex, what else are you worried about?" She asked transitioning smoothly from informative friend to nymph to concerned listener and effectively causing a chuckle from Olivia.

"Between you and Casey, I may have to start rethinking these coffee sessions."

"How _are_ you and Casey?" Alex asked jumping at another area she knew was probably causing more angst with Olivia.

"I think we'll get past it, but…I don't think she's gonna forgive herself."

"Make her feel like she has a reason too."

"Excuse me?" Olivia sat up, "How am I suppose to do that? I'm still pretty pissed, I'm just making an effort to bury the hatchet."

"It's one thing to tell someone you love and forgive them…make them _feel_ that their loved and forgiven and they'll stop punishing themselves for something you've already forgiven them for." Alex smiled, "I'm good huh?"

"Your somethin'.' Olivia laughed and took another sip of her coffee and blurting her next sentence, "If we loose Sam I won't make it and I don't think Elliot will either."

"Ah," Alex smiled compassionately, "You're not gonna loose that little boy."

"Think so?"

"Yeah."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Alright Sam, want to know how to use a hammer?" Elliot asked with a smile.

"Is that how you build?"

"Yep…want to?"

"Then the nail gun?"

Elliot grinned, "Absolutely."

"You're wife's gonna kill you." Frankie laughed hammering a nail into the drywall.

"Ah, she'll get a kick out of it." Elliot scoffed and picked up a hammer, "Alright Sam let's see those hands buddy."

Elliot crouched behind him and let him take hold of the hammer in his right hand and a nail in his left before he covered them both with his own. "This is you're nail…feel it?"

"Yes."

"Okay, sheet rock is very soft so you don't have to swing very hard," he cautioned him and then started to hammer the nail softly, careful not to hit Sam's fingers. "That's all there is to it buddy." Elliot smiled as Sam grinned.

"That was fun." Sam chuckled.

"Yep Sam," Elliot agreed and reached for another piece of equipment, "But there's nothing funner than a nail gun."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia toed off her sneakers at the front door taking note that the house was finally quiet from all of the hammering that had consumed the day. The house was dark and oddly quiet in spite of it being late in the evening. Flipping on the hall light provided enough illumination that she could see Samuel sleeping peacefully on the fold out sofa.

She shed her coat listening for Elliot, but finding no sound or indication that he was in the living room. Deciding he must be in the garage she opened the door that joined the house to it and felt her heart sink at the sight of her husband sitting in a folding chair with a bottle of liquor in one hand and the aged picture of Isaac in the other.

The garage was looking more like a normal room, sheet rock was up, light fixtures were installed and paint cans were waiting patiently in the corner to work their magic. She took a deep breath and walked to him, kneeling down in front of him unconcerned with the cement grinding against her knees. She smiled compassionately at him resting her hands on his spackle covered thighs, "Want to tell me what's wrong?" she asked looking at the bottle and silently thanking God that it hadn't been opened yet.

Elliot exhaled, biting his lower lip and avoiding her gaze, not wanting to see the disappointment in her eyes, but being forced to look up when she tilted his chin to face her, "I love you." She told him softly and was surprised to feel him pull her up to his lap and hold her tightly. "What is it Elliot?" she asked softly caressing his head and kissing him gently on his crown.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered hoarsely.

"For what? You have nothing to be sorry for?" she assured him, "If anyone is sorry, it's me Elliot, I shouldn't have said that this morning, it came out wrong." She whispered looking at him and still seeing a pain that she wasn't sure where it had come from.

"I'm sorry," he choked out resting his forehead on her shoulder, "For making you leave."

"Hey," She caressed his face forcing him to look at her, "We've talked about it, that's as far as the east is from the west…I'm not upset."

"Please." He whispered holding her tightly, "Please."

"Please what?"

"Please tell me you forgive me."

"Elliot," she smiled and kissed the corner of his mouth, "there's nothing to forgive, but if you need to hear it," she conceded and whispered in his ear, "I forgive you Elliot."

He cried silently against her shoulder, holding her tightly before pulling away and looking back at the photo, "I made a call to one of Munch's old friends in homicide that he use to talk about," he whispered then cleared his throat in effort to find his voice as he felt her fingers wip his tears.

"What did he say?" she asked softly.

"He'd seen Munch swing by the station house and ask for the M.E…this is what our son would look like right now." He smiled softly showing the picture.

"It's real then?"

"No…it's generated from the Lab, but you know how accurate those can be…that's him." He smiled again.

"He's gorgeous."

"Yeah." Elliot agreed.

"Elliot?" She exhaled and nodded to the drink, "It's ultimately your choice what you do with that bottle, but we've come along way together and I don't want to loose you…either does Sam."

Elliot started to protest but she kissed him tenderly on the lips, "You have to make a choice tonight Elliot, you and I made an appointment," she smiled softly at the concept, "I keep my appointments…it's you're choice." She whispered and kissed him before retreating to their bedroom but not before giving him one last word, "I'm trusting you Elliot."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia found herself waiting in their bed alone, hoping and praying that he would make the right choice but knowing that only he could make it. She turned left, then right, making a conscience decision not to let herself doze. If Elliot broke his promise to her and chose the alcohol, she still needed to fulfill her commitment to Sam. She took a deep breath wondering, if he chose the alcohol, what did it mean for Sam?

And in a matter of seconds all questions were answered when she felt her heartbeat increase just slightly, the hair on the back of her neck stand on end, and the smile creep over her face as the familiar scent of her husband invaded her senses.

"I'm sorry I scared you, Olivia." Elliot whispered standing over her and brushing her hair from her eyes.

Olivia took his hand into hers and kissed his open palm, "You didn't scare me…just gave me a little start." She assured him as she sat up and kissed him, feeling his lips greedily take from her causing her to stand and give him what he needed.

Only for the need of oxygen did they separate, "I'm glad you didn't choose the booze."

Elliot smiled, "I have a fantasy to fulfill."

"Mmm," She smiled, "I don't know what you drew, but I want tonight to be about you…you're always looking after me," she informed him kissing one corner of his mouth and then the other, "let me take care of you tonight Elliot." She whispered sliding her hands over his chest to the hem of his shirt. "Let me make love to _you,_ Elliot."

Silence is consent. Or at least silence was all she had to go off of. He looked at her intently, loosing sight only when she pulled his shirt off of his body. He reached for her shirt only to have her stop him, "No, don't do anything…just be." She smiled remembering the first time he'd told her that. "Let me do all the work." She instructed him while she unbuckled her jeans and shimmied out of them as he watched her in complete want.

She stepped closer to him and met her lips with his kissing delicately, as she unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, feeling his hands walk the trail of her spine as she pulled both jeans and boxers down, exposing him completely for the beautiful man he was yet …doubted. She trailed her fingertips over his body, over the contours of his muscles and back to his cheeks before separating from him, "You're an amazing man," she smiled turning him so that he stood in front of the bed, "You're strong," she assured him as she gently pushed him to sit on the edge of the bed, "You're sexy." She whispered pushing him back against the mattress as she bent over his body, kissing his mouth as he rose to rest his weight on his elbows and watch her kiss a trail to his naval.

The stress of not having to worry about pleasing Olivia, not that he minded, but it freed him to enjoy her touch even more, to enjoy the texture of her tongue against his flesh as she moved, the feeling of her fingertips gliding over his nipples as she brought her hands down to his thighs, he might not have felt stressed, but giving her complete control of him made him feel entirely too vulnerable.

"Liv, you don't ha-"

"Shh," she smiled against his abdomen, "Stop fighting me." Olivia trailed her hand from his thigh as she tongued the area from his navel to his length, to the underside of his hardening erection. She ran the tip of her tongue and her index finger along the top and bottom of his length simultaneously, hearing him moan and let his head dip back between his shoulders. She took him into the warmth of her mouth gliding over him until she could no longer hold him. She fondled his sac gently as his chest heaved and his legs locked around her.

There was something entirely sensual about their roles being reversed, something entirely sexy about the dominator being vulnerable.

"Liv," he panted trying to pull her up to him, "no more or I can't." he informed her as she let him fall from her mount and trail her body as she climbed over him so they were face to face.

"Feeling a little better?" she asked softly taking his lip into hers and rubbing softly against him only to feel him walk his body further onto the bed, the tip of his penis trailing her body again eliciting a closed-eye shudder, "you're not suppose to be working."

"Not working." He smiled, "Just playing."

She smiled devilishly and interlaced his hands with hers and she walked with her knees along either side of his body to align their hips. She firmly pinned his arms above his head, knowing he could get out of it if he really wanted to, but knowing he didn't want to. She kept her hands firmly over his and bent her body so that they were face to face, his control completely hers, "Stop playing." She ordered through a whisper.

Olivia's lips ran the full extent of his body, the hollow spot just below his earlobe to the dimple of his collarbone and down his arms to the sensitive flesh of his biceps and along his rib cage. She smiled seeing his skin jump as her tongue glided over his nipple and sucked softly bringing it to peak before treating the other equally as well.

"Olivia." He whispered her name in complete thanks and admiration of what she was doing to him and while she paused for a moment, when he didn't say anything further she continued negotiating her body over his as he kissed and tongued his thigh sucking softly at the bend of his knee cap and gliding her tongue gently over the dip of his ankle bone. Repeating the same process on her way up his body until she was sipping gently from his lips again.

"Feeling a little better?" She smiled softly not necessarily waiting for his reply before she kissed the corner of his mouth.

"Take you're shirt of Liv." He whispered trying to reach for the hems only for her to stop him again.

She smiled and kissed his throat, "You're not in charge, remember?" she whispered against him, "Turn over."

"What?" He furrowed his brows at her request.

"Just do it." She smiled rising slightly on her knees to allow him to roll under her.

She rested her body on the slope of his derriere and stealthily took her shirt off from over her head, unclasping her bra and casting it somewhere in the room. She splayed her hands over his back and slid them up to his shoulders and over his arms interlacing their hands again as she meshed the feminine rise of her breast against the masculine contour of his back, eliciting a moan from him that encouraged her further.

She released his hands only to journey further down his body stopping to suck on the base of his spine and watch as he balled the sheets into his fist muffling his passion in an attempt to remain relatively quiet. She smiled and tongued the flesh of his backside almost chuckling when his leg bent and lifted form the bed in response as if someone had hit him to test his reflexes. It was a motion never seen before by her and she wondered if he was even aware he'd done it. She worked back to his ear with a tactile touch that kept Elliot just on the edge of reason. She nibbled softly on the back of his ear lobe and whispered,

"I'm not going to come…but I want to watch when you do."

He suddenly shifted under her his eyes wide with appreciation as her breasts finally were made visible to him. She bit his lip softly and sucked equally as soft, "Did I tell you that you could turn over?"

Elliot blushed, "Rules were made to be broken." He told her holding her hips and taking in the sheer erotic pleasure of seeing his naked wife sitting on his abdomen. "I want you to come with me."

"Sorry," She smiled and positioned herself right over his erection, "like I said, this is all about you tonight." She rose slowly and enveloped him in his fullness watching as his body arched with pleasure.

It took more control to keep herself from climaxing than she thought it would, visions of things less than appeasing danced in her head to keep her at bay as she rode him, keeping her hands on his abdomen for balance as she mimicked the aftermath of an orgasm, clutching his body with her own as she rose and then releasing him momentarily as she fell back over him.

Elliot attempted to reach up and caress her breast when she scolded him, "You can look," She panted keeping her rhythm, "but don't touch." She smiled feeling him squirm under her as the pressure built in his body. She moved faster feeling him clutch her thighs, she knew their would be bruises but she didn't care, she increased and just when his body signaled he was ready she caressed his face, "Let me watch you…look at me." She whispered then continued as he jerked under her and balled the sheets in his fist, clenching his teeth as he tried to remain quiet.

Unable to and still climaxing he sat up quickly as the scream made its debut, he kissed her passionately on the mouth feeling the vibration of his screams reverberating in her mouth as her tongue muffled his cries. She whimpered against him unable to maintain her own control once his lips met hers and effectively letting her body loose control.

He continued to hold her as he sat there, feeling her muscles still throbbing against him, he laid slowly, letting her cover him, in the same protective covering they'd both come to love, with her knees tightly up to his rib cage resting her head on his shoulder.

"You cheated." She panted.

"I improvised." He corrected slowly rolling her to one side and withdrawing himself from the safety of her body and pulling her close.

"Feel a little better?"

"I feel a whole lot better." He smiled, "Thank you that was…completely…I don't know what that was." He smiled, "Seems you've got a little control issue Liv."

"You seemed to enjoy it." She smiled and kissed him, "We better shower and slip back into bed with Sam before we nod off."

He smiled and kissed her again, "Yeah."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Six days later Elliot and Olivia found themselves ready to have Sam move into his own room. It wasn't the work of actually converting the room that took so much time; it was the design that Olivia had come up with that made for long nights.

She'd painted the room in a royal blue, explaining to him that it was the color of kings and that that was what he was. She wasn't sure if he understood what blue looked like but he seemed to enjoy the fact that she'd done it for him. She downloaded a version of the brail alphabet, knowing that as soon as they got the word that they could adopt him they would enroll him in a specialty program. She couldn't wait until he could feel the words she'd written about him along the walls with risen paint.

"Alright Sam," Olivia smiled standing next to Sam, "Ready to check out you're very own room?"

"Can I use the nail gun again?" He beamed causing Olivia to look at Elliot with raised brows.

"Oh," Olivia smiled, "Did Elliot let you use the nail gun after all."

"Yeah," Sam smiled, "Lot's but he helped me, he said if I hurt myself you'd kill h-"

"Sam," Elliot cut him off, "You remember how Olivia gave you the word 'discretion' for your new vocabulary word?"

"Yeah."

"This is one of those times that you practice it." He smiled, "Let's go see what Liv did to you're room buddy."

Sam walked in first and Olivia intercepted Elliot, "Thank you." She smiled and kissed his mouth.

"Thank you?" Elliot furrowed, "I'm not dead?"

"No." She smiled again and kissed him, "Thank you, for not treating him like he can't do certain things."

"He can do anything." Elliot smiled, and kissed her again, "As long as we're with him."

Olivia leaned her forehead against his and smiled at Sam's gleeful voice, "The carpet is soft, we could wrestle, Olivia." He informed her.

"I don't know Sam, Elliot told me you're a pretty big boy, you might hurt me." She teased, walking in and seeing him walk carefully around the room, feeling the book shelves that held his audio books and Walkman. While he couldn't see them, Olivia explained that the pictures of his trip to the zee were made bigger and hung up on his walls.

Elliot sat on the floor watching in fascination as the young boy took it all in. "It's big." Sam whispered feeling his way along the boundaries of the room and frowning slightly.

"Sam?" Olivia kneeled next to him, "What's wrong?"

When there was no response she glanced over to Elliot who had his eyes closed laying flat on his back. She leaned over and whispered a diabolical plan into Sam's ear to which he smiled in agreement. Olivia whispered into his ear, "One,"

Sam smiled and clutched her hand.

"Two." She motioned for him to fall in just behind her, an imperative position if all was going to work out.

"THREE!" she yelled running with Sam in tow and toppling playfully on Elliot, as Sam yelled out toppling on Olivia.

"Monkey pile on Elliot!"

Elliot laughed hysterically, feeling his family hovering over his body, "Sam, you went over to the dark side again huh buddy."

"She said I could have ice cream." Sam sold her out.

"She did, did she?" Elliot arched his brows at Olivia who turned and ran her hands through Sam's hair.

"We got to teach you discretion Sam."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Fourteen days!" Elliot smiled walking in from the back yard.

"For what?" Olivia asked giving him a chaste kiss as she flipped through the mail.

"Until you and I are back in the SVU saddle." He grinned.

Olivia smile faintly, "I'm actually kind of anxious to get back there."

"Me too…if not for the soul purpose of nailing Serna's ass." Elliot informed her with a smile then frowned when she stopped flipping through the mail.

"What is it?"

"I'm feeling like I'm getting the flu." She informed him then held up a post card, "Do you know anybody in Phnom Penh?"

"What universe is that?" Elliot asked in confusion and looked down at a postcard she held.

"Apparently Cambodia." She smiled in perfect confusion.

"Who's it from?"

"It's blank except for J.W.B."

"J.W.B?" Elliot furrowed his brows and looked at the writing then found himself laughing, "John Wilks Boothe." He informed her with a grin, "It must be Munch's way of telling us Hi."

"What's he doing in Cambodia?" She laughed simply relieved to hear form him.

"Probably stalking Angelina Jolie." Elliot laughed.

"What is his fascination with her anyway?"

"Who knows…it's a Munchism, I suppose." He laughed and kissed her gently, a letter catching his eye, "What's this? It's from social services." He furrowed his brow opening it and looking at her.

"What's it say?" She furrowed her brow.

"Christoff is scheduling a hearing to see if we can have Sam." He squinted to read the paper, "What the hell?" he growled.

"What?" She took the paper from him as he answered her.

Elliot scrubbd his hands over his face, "Sam's grandparents are petitioning for custody."


	26. Chapter 26 In Sam's Defense

Divided We Fall

Chapter 26 In Sam's Defense

It's been said that Rome wasn't built in a day. Olivia smirked to herself, knowing that Sam's defense came together in less than the fifteen minutes it took for Olivia to gather her composure and call Alex who in turn pulled strings unimaginable to Elliot and Olivia. While Alex couldn't simply quit her current job to take the case on personally, she did take a week of vacation to research the case as much as possible.

Alex made sure that Sam's case was put on the docket only a week after receiving the notice of petition, and she had no shame in making sure that the judge was a personal friend. While she wasn't necessarily looking for a biased judgment, she was looking for a fair and accurate hearing and the only one she felt comfortable enough with doing that was a judge she new personally.

Initially, Olivia and Elliot expressed their concern that there wasn't enough preparation time and they could loose the case, but after Alex assured them that moving as quickly as possible disables the grandparents from gaining a compelling argument and informed them that Casey was cutting maternity leave short to argue the case for them, and that she would personally sit in the court room with them, they were a little more comfortable with the idea of proceeding so quickly.

The decision to not tell Sam about the proceedings until after the findings was perhaps the most difficult decision they had made. Taking him to school each day knowing their time may come to an end was painful, but to see him warming up more and more to her and Elliot was, heart wrenching.

Olivia found herself exhaling deeply as she sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for the clock to order them to the courtroom. 

"You should get dressed." Elliot informed her, "You're gonna get sick, sitting in your underclothes."

"What if we loose?" Olivia blurted.

"We're not." He said confidently as he pulled her clothes out of the dry cleaning bag. He helped her to her feet, "We're like a Timex watch Liv." He smiled softly holding her blouse open for her to inset her arms as he pulled it over her should, "we take a lickin' and keep on tickin'" he smiled softly against her cheek as he buttoned the blouse and turned her to face him, "I have no doubts in my mind that this time tomorrow Sam will still be a part of our family." He assured her with a smile as he handed her the slacks from the hanger.

"Thank you." She whispered back with a small smile.

"It's the truth Liv." He assured her slipping into his own slacks and grabbing for a shirt from the closet.

"Don't you dare Stabler." Olivia smiled buckling her slacks and making her way to him, "That doesn't match those slacks, grab your white one."

"Who say's it doesn't match?" He asked in protest as he compared the two fabrics.

"Trust me Elliot." She smiled playfully still shocked, yet entirely grateful that they were still capable of laughter in the spite of impending heartache. She pulled out a crisp white shirt and metallic blue tie, "Here, this won't get you laughed at." She winked and reached for her blazer.

"Hey, Liv."

"Yeah?"

"Did you remember to tell Robert the code word to pick up Sam?"

"Yep." She assured him reaching for her bag.

"Do you think he'll be okay with Robert picking him up?" Elliot asked already making a mess of his tie.

"We've been prepping him since we found out, I think he's okay with it, if he's not I'm sure we'll hear about it." She chuckled then watched him struggle with his tie.

"Anytime you want to step in Liv." He told her feeling her watch him. She closed the gap between them and flipped his collar up tying it quickly and then folding it down.

"Wow." She smiled, "With that goatee and longer hair, you look really handsome all dressed up."

"Handsome enough to garner a kiss?" He waggled his brows.

Olivia smiled, "Nope." And turned to leave only to feel him turn her back to him and kiss her anyway.

"I always get want I want Liv." He grinned and kissed her again feeling her give into his charm and caress his face with her hand, sipping at his bottom lip before separating.

"Ready?" She whispered.

"Ready."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Courtrooms feel different when you're sitting in them for your own case. As she and Elliot walked through the courtroom they both stopped immediately seeing the grandparents sitting on one side of the courtroom with their attorney. Elliot and Olivia took their respective seats next to Casey and Alex as well as two other lawyers they didn't know but Casey assured them were the best in the state when it came to custody battles.

Olivia wanted to ask them what made them the best, not because she really wanted to know but because she could feel the tension rising in her body and she needed to get rid of it. Just as she opened her mouth to speak a deeper voice filled the room signaling it was time for a showdown that Olivia didn't know if she had the strength to go through.

"All rise," The bailiff called into the atmosphere, "The honorable Darren Linh presiding."

Olivia stared at the grandparents taking note that by appearance they appeared to be wealthy, but if that were the case she didn't understand why they never came to Sam when no one else would. After what seemed like forever to deal with formality the grandparents lawyer stood to address the judge. 

"Your honor, Joshua Wilcox on behalf of the Wilson's, who are petitioning for custody of their eight year old grandson Samuel Wilson."

"Proceed Mr. Wilcox." The judge instructed poised to take notes.

"Your honor, Mr. and Mrs. Wilson are seeking custody under New York law that enables them to exercise their right as next of kin."

"Why didn't they exercise that right when the young boy was taken from his parents?" The judge asked over his glasses.

"The Wilson's only learned of his whereabouts as of late." Wilcox offered.

"Are you contending that social services deliberately kept him from his next of kin?"

"I am, you're honor."

"That's a bold accusation." The judge admonished him.

"It's the truth You're Honor."

"Mr. Wilcox." The judged smiled in irritation, "I'll decide what the truth is, take a seat, Sir."

"Yes, Your Honor."

Judge Linh double checked his paperwork and then smiled, "Mrs. Novak, you're up."

Casey approached the podium, "You're honor, Casey Novak on behalf of Olivia and Elliot Stabler."

"Proceed, Mrs. Novak."

"I intend to show the court that Mr. and Mrs. Wilson were made aware of Samuel's location the day he was taken away from his parents who were physically and sexually abusing him, I also intend to show the court that Sam's current placement is the best for him and will continue to be the best."

"Very well," The judge removed his glasses, "Since you have the burden of proof here I'll hear you first, your first witness Mrs. Novak."

"Thank you Your Honor, I call Christoff Mancia to the stand."

Elliot and Olivia shared a look of confusion, but they had both agreed to let Alex and Casey have full reign, deciding that their judgment would be unbiased in terms of evidence and witnesses. Right now they couldn't afford any mistakes. As Christoff was sworn in Elliot laced his hand with Olivia's and gave her a reassuring squeeze.

"Mr. Mancia, you are Samuel Wilson's case worker correct?" Casey asked walking thoughtfully across the room.

"Yes." He smiled softly, "Sam is a good boy, and very blessed to have the Stabler in his life."

"Really?" Casey feigned shock; "You don't think he'd be better off with his grandparents?"

"No, absolutely not." Christoff said with a firm confidence.

"Why not?" Casey leaned against the witness stand so that she was able to see all parties from where they sat.

"The Stabler are good people, they've never given me a reason to doubt their unconditional love for a boy who is untrusting and unable to see, they've overcome those obstacles and they _continue_ to overcome obstacles with Samuel."

"The Wilson's haven't overcome obstacles?" Casey asked pointing to the grandparents.

"They _are_ obstacles." Christoff said blatantly.

"Objection," Wilcox shouted, "The witness has had no interaction with my cli-"

"Actually I have." Christoff smiled, "I've lost most of my hair since then maybe that's why they don't recognize me," he chuckled, "But I told the Wilson's myself of Sam's whereabouts after he was removed from the home."

"Objection! Move to strike?"

The judge looked up a little shocked, "You can't have something stricken from the record because it may damage you're case…take a seat." The attorney exhaled and sat slowly.

"What did they tell you when they found out they had a grandson?"

Christoff lowered his head and took a deep breath as he leveled his gaze at Olivia and Elliot, "She told me…there was no room for Satan's spawn in her home."

Casey raised her brows, slightly shocked by the words, "Nothing further."

"Very well, your witness Mr. Wilcox."

"Mr. Mancia, you testified that Samuel wouldn't be better off with his grandparents, correct?"

"Yes I did."

"Would he be better off with a murderer?"

"Absolutely not." Christoff replied in disgust.

"What about _two_ murderer's?" The lawyer pressed.

"I think you know the answer to that." Christoff narrowed his eyes.

"Oh, I do." The attorney grinned, "Which is why I got to ask you, if you feel he wouldn't be safe in a murder's home…why place him _with two_ murders, why place him with Olivia and Elliot Stabler, who, between them share a death count of three?"

"OBJECTION!" The loud chorus from three attorneys standing on behalf of Olivia and Elliot gave even the judge a small start.

"Mr. Wilcox, I strongly advise you to correct you're use of vocabulary, neither of these two people have been accused of or found guilty of murder. Sustained, rephrase…and get it right Mr. Wilcox."

Wilcox smiled, "Withdrawn, nothing further."

Elliot exhaled and kissed the top of Olivia's hand resting both of their hands in his lap. Alex assured them both that things were still in their favor and they had nothing to worry about, but they certainly didn't feel that way after having just been accused of being murderers.

"Mrs. Novak, next witness." The judge informed.

"I call Elliot Stabler to the stand."

Elliot rose slowly and kissed Olivia softly on the temple, "It's gonna be ok." He assured her and buttoned his suit jacket making his way to the stand to be sworn in.

"Mr. Stabler." Casey smiled.

"Please, call me Elliot." He smiled back.

"Elliot, how long have you had Samuel?"

"Seven weeks." Elliot responded unable to suppress the smile that ruptured his face.

"When Samuel first came to you…did he like you?"

"Sam's a special boy, he gives everyone a chance if he's reassured. With a little finessing from my wife he warmed up to me, even though men aren't on his list of people to trust."

"Why's that?" Casey asked for the benefit of the court.

"According to Sam's file and the information given to us from CPS, he was raped and badly beaten and burned by his father." Elliot answered and quickly wiped a tear that shocked him when it fell.

"Do you love Samuel?" Casey asked.

"Absolutely." He grinned, "He's one of the best things to happen to my wife and I."

"Would you hurt him."

"Never."

"Do you take care of him?"

"Always." Elliot assured her, knowing that she knew he did, but it was dog and pony for the judge.

"Nothing further."

Olivia leaned over to Alex, "Why isn't she asking anymore questions?"

"Liv." Alex whispered back, "We have a strategy, they're gonna try to dirty you up and then we're gonna grab'em by the balls…trust us, were just biting time for a piece of evidence." She informed her looking at her watch.

"You're not prepared?" Olivia frowned.

"Relax." Alex told her again and then motioned for her to pay attention to the line of questioning Wilcox was putting Elliot through.

"How many people have you murdered Mr. Sta-"

"OBJECTION!" Casey shouted, "I believe the court has already admonished Mr. Wilcox for his particular choice of words!"

"Sustained, Mr. Wilcox, you're doing you're clients a disservice." The judge told him.

"My apologies, Your Honor." He smiled and returned to Elliot, "How many people have you killed Mr. Stabler?"

Elliot shifted in his chair, "It was in the line of duty."

"That's not what I asked, I asked you how many people you _killed,_ Mr. Stabler."

Elliot bit his lip and exhaled, "One."

"Why?"

"He was going to shoot me after I ordered him to drop his weapon." Elliot explained.

"Is that something you want to teach Samuel?"

"Excuse me?" Elliot frowned.

"Well," The attorney smiled, "do you want him to learn that when you don't get your way, you can _kill_ someone?"

"Objection!"

"I'll answer." Elliot stared down the attorney and Olivia could feel Wilcox's discomfort with the glare.

"You realize that by answering, you may damage your case." The judge advised.

"I'll answer." Elliot said again never breaking his stare.

"Very well, over ruled, answer the question."

"Olivia and I teach Sam that courage doesn't always roar, nor is it always passive, but we also teach him that he is a human being capable of hurting _and_ healing someone. Sam has had a devastating childhood, but he has never said one mean thing about his parents, in fact," Elliot leaned forward and looked past the attorney to the grandparents, "Samuel has never even _mentioned_ his grandparents."

The attorney leaned into Elliot and smiled, "Maybe because he's never _met_ them."

Elliot leaned in just as dauntingly, "Or maybe he doesn't talk about them…because he _has_ met them."

The attorney's smirk disappeared instantly as he backed to his table, "We'll see…nothing further."

"Mrs. Novak…next witness, let's try to push this through lunch so we can hopefully get the ruling today." He informed her.

"Very well, I'll call my last witness, Olivia Stabler."

Olivia closed her eyes and stood slowly kissing Elliot on his cheek as he sat down. She walked slowly to the stand, adjusting the cuff of her blouse and sitting slowly as she folded her hands in her lap.

"Mrs. Stabler." Casey started, "How are you today?"

"Please call me Olivia, and I'm fine thank you." She smiled softly knowing that she wasn't fine, she was stressed out, she wanted to vomit and she was making a mental note to put a pipe bomb in the exhaust pipe of the Wilson's attorney.

"Olivia," Casey stepped closer, "how did you come to know Sam?"

"I was a private instructor for him for several months."

"Does he like you?" Casey asked.

Olivia smiled, "He responds very well to me, he talks to me when he's scared…he trusts me."

"Does he trust you're husband?"

"Because of his upbringing," Olivia began, "it's been a long road but Samuel is amazing, he's getting more and more comfortable with my husband and many of our friends, both male and female...in fact, several weeks ago he went to the zoo and allowed one of our friends who is male to go with him."

"Is it normal for him to go with Males?"

"Absolutely not, but he makes an effort if Elliot and I affirm him in his decisions." She answered.

"Affirmation, encouragement, these are all marks of good people are they not?" Casey asked in wonderment, and then began to walk the court as she asked questions, "Tell us what you have done to make Samuel feel at home with you and your husband."

"We've converted our garage into a bedroom and play area for him." Olivia responded shifting her body slightly hoping to stave off the nausea that was making it's way into her stomach, "We've given him opportunities to try things he hasn't been able to do previously, such as build, paint, and even smaller things…like eat a Happy Meal."

"Olivia," Casey leaned into the stand, "Do you love Sam?"

Without skipping a beat Olivia smiled, "As if I gave birth to him myself."

"Even though you've known him for such a short time?"

Olivia locked eyes with Sam's grandparents, "A mother's love doesn't recognize time."

Slightly shocked yet pleased with Olivia's answer, Casey smiled, "No it doesn't." She agreed, "Nothing further…we rest Your Honor."

"Very well, Mr. Wilcox," The judge smiled, "This very expensive floor is yours, Sir."

"You say you love Sam."

"I do." Olivia responded in agreement.

"Are you sure it's not Isaac you're wanting back?" Wilcox asked with an evil grin.

"Objection!" Casey barked, "Relevance?"

"I 'm trying to establish why Mrs. Stabler is fighting so hard to take a child away from his grandparents," The attorney confessed, "the fact that her own child was kidnapped and killed bares relevance to this case-"

"My son is not dead." Olivia said as evenly as possible despite the fact that she would have preferred to break his jaw.

"Excuse me?" The attorney asked.

"My son is not dead, there is credible evidence that suggests he is alive," she told him forcefully, "not that it's really any of you're business though."

"So you admit your morning a loss." The attorney smiled cornering her again.

"I'm morning a loss." She agreed, "And celebrating a young future." She smiled leaving him no opportunity to counter except a low blow.

"So, tell me Mrs. Stabler," The attorney poised himself in thought, "Does one mother's loss give her the right to rip a child form someone else?"

"OBJECTION!" Casey shouted, "Badgering!"

"Sustained, rephrase!"

"Withdrawn," he smiled, "Nothing further."

"Very well." The attorney exhaled, "Mrs. Novak…anymore witnesses?"

"No You're Honor we rest."

"Very well, Mr. Wilcox, seems you're up again."

"Thank you, you're honor," Wilcox stood to his feet, his wire rim glasses adding a little life to his dull eyes, but not much. Olivia watched him carefully, the way he moved arrogantly through the courtroom, as he stood and called Virginia Wilson to the stand, pausing only while she was sworn in.

"Mrs. Wilson," The attorney began to speak, "When did you first learn of Samuels existence?"

"About a month ago." She replied in a smooth voice as she rested her hands on her lap.

"You never knew you had a grandchild?" The lawyer asked pretending to be shocked.

"No sir, we were estranged from our son, we didn't even know he'd gotten married."

"So, you've never even met Sam before?"

"No, but I'm his grandmother and I know that he would be happier in a home with his real family.

"When did you file the paperwork to get Sam home?"

"The day we found out he existed." She responded with a smiled that made Olivia's stomach churn.

"Why should the courts place Sam with you Mrs. Wilson?"

"Because he's ours." She replied with a cold smile as she stared at Olivia.

"Nothing further."

"Mrs. Novak, your witness."

Casey strutted quickly to the witness box and rested her forearm against the ledge, "Mrs. Wilson."

"Please," The older woman smiled, "Call me Virginia."

"Mrs. Wilson," Casey reiterated, "Do you know what perjury is?"

"Yes."

"So then you know that if you come to the stand and blatantly lie to the courts, you can be fined or go to jail or both?" Casey clarified.

"I've not lied." The woman said softly.

"Really?" Casey arched her brows in surprise, "You just told this court that you didn't know about Samuel until just recently," Casey's voice grew more intense, "Yet Christoff Mecina, took the stand and testified to the court that _he personally told you_." Casey turned to point out Christoff to the court, "Tell us who's lying," Casey demanded as she continued to point to Christoff, "Is it Mr. Mecina who has placed thousands of children without so much as a blemish on his record," Casey turned back to Virginia Wilson and leaned over the ledge, "or is it you?"

"Objection, badgering."

"Overruled…continued Mr. Novak, but I'll ask you to refrain from yelling at the witness."

"My apologies Your Honor." She nodded slightly and redirected her question, "whose lying Mrs. Wilson?"

"Why, Mecina is, of course." The older woman smiled.

Casey smirked, "Of course." She exhaled, "We'd like noted for the record that there is reason to believe Mrs. Wilson has committed perjury…nothing further at this time but we reserve the right to redirect."

"Noted." The judge acknowledged and was just about to speak when the doors to the courtroom opened. Elliot and Olivia maintained their positions looking forward but watching in complete confusion when Captain Cragen approached Casey and handed her a thick file whispered something in her ear, and while it seemed he would turn to face Olivia, he lowered his head and turned the opposite direction.

Olivia flipped through the files quickly looking at pages that seemed to have been flagged for her.

"Is there a problem Mrs. Novak?" The judge asked running thin on patience.

"You're honor," Casey looked back at Virginia Wilson, "Permission to re-direct."

"Already?" The judge smirked, "Very well."

"Mrs. Wilson," Casey approached her again, "is it you're testimony that _you never knew_ of Samuel until just recently?"

"Yes it is."

"And you're aware that you are still under oath."

"Yes, I am." Virginia smiled.

"Then maybe you can tell me how you didn't know Sam existed," She held up a piece of paper from the file and thrust it in front of Virginia, "when you lived with him for five of the eight years he was alive?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Virginia protested visibly shaken by the accusation.

"Here is proof of residence, signed by you, that indicates you lived with him, in fact…here is another piece of paper," she said placing it on the ledge of the witness stand, "that cites you as his _legal guardian_!" Casey was borderline yelling, "What happened Mrs. Wilson…Sam wasn't good enough for you? Was the little boy too noisy…did he require too much, or maybe," Casey started to yell, "when you locked him in the closet and starved him when he was only four," she exclaimed in pure anger then calmed herself, "you just decided he was too much to deal with."

"You're a liar!" Virginia yelled back.

"Am I?" Casey whipped around retrieving more papers from the file, "Where were you September 16, 1999?"

"I don't know," She shook her head in confusion.

"According to this," Casey pointed to another sheet of paper, "You checked him into the hospital for his broken knee cap…what about two weeks after that when you took him back to the hospital because he supposedly almost drown in a hot bath tub where the water was hot his lungs were seared…seems a lot happened to that little boy when he was in your care." Casey spoke softly again.

"We loved him."

"Lov_ed_?" Casey caught the word and immediately pounced, "So then, _you admit_ to the court that you knew he existed."

"Objection." Wilcox's attorney said softly.

"Overruled." The judge said in disgust, "Continue Mrs. Novak."

"He was too much for you and you didn't do a thing from _stopping your own son_ from raping your grandson and beating him relentlessly until the neighbors finally had enough guts to call the police…your grandson almost died Mrs. Wilson."

The older woman began to shake as she wiped tears away, "I loved him."

"I have another paper Mrs. Wilson." Casey said turning around and finding Olivia crying silently into Elliot's shoulder. This was the reason Casey and Alex hadn't told them what they'd discovered, the devastation of knowing what Sam had actually gone through, not just by his father but also by his own grandparents.

"Do you really love Sam?" Casey asked in disbelief.

"Yes." The older woman whispered.

"Really, you know what I find interesting…you and you're husband are broke." Casey smiled holding up a record of their financials. "Sam's a meal ticket to you isn't he?" Casey asked in a voice that was finally normal. "His disability payments, the income from the state to raise him before adoption is finalized…that's a pretty good sum." Casey backed away slowly and pointed behind her to Olivia and Elliot as she asked her last question, "Do you know what the Stablers do with the income they receive for Sam?"

When there was no response Casey pushed, "Your Honor, please direct the witness to answer the question."

"Mrs. Wilson you're obligated to answer."

She shook her head slowly, "I don't know."

Casey pressed her lips together and stared directly at the woman, "Mrs. Stabler deposits the money into a savings account to incur interest so he can go to college…they've used their own incomes to remodel their house…clothe him…feed him…and enrich his life."

Casey walked slowly to the witness, "What have you done Mrs. Wilson? You've hit him…starved him…shoved him in a closet like an old pair of shoes…and tried to destroy his spirit." After a brief moment to let the words settle with the judge she offered one last thing, "You say you love Samuel?" Casey shook her head in disgust, "Who's lying now Mrs. Wilson?"

Casey turned to walk back to her seat, "Nothing further."

"Mr. Wilcox?" The judge question.

Wilcox stood slowly, defeat etched in his face and was barely heard when he rested his case, not even bothering to call Mr. Wilson to the stand.

"Very well, court will re-convene in one hour wherein I will announce my ruling." The judge said pounding his gavel as the bailiff bellowed out the judge's departure.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You okay Olivia?" Elliot asked peeking his head through the door of the ladies restroom and finding a very appalled looking blond staring back at him.

"Sorry," Elliot blushed, "My wife took off in this direction and she has the flu, is there anyone in here?"

"The tall brunette?"

Elliot grinned, "The one and only."

"She been puking in the handicap stall since I came in, if she's sick, which she is, you should take her home."

_Thank you Miss. Obvious._ "Thank you." He said walking in as the blond left.

"Liv, open the door honey." Elliot called passed the stall door. When she finally did answer it Elliot smiled compassionately, "That bad huh?"

"Between waiting this next hour out and this stomach bug, I think I'm gonna die." She groaned walking to the sink as he pulled some paper towels from the dispenser, handing them to her after she rinsed her mouth.

"Thank you…gum?"

"Of course." Elliot smiled retrieving the Wrigley's pack from his pocket and offering her a stick, "We should get out of here before a woman comes in and kills me." He teased taking her hand and walking with her to wait in the hall where Casey and Alex were waiting.

"Where's the other suit?" Olivia asked noticing he was gone.

"He had some other things he had to take care of…he saved us on this one." Alex smiled.

"How's that?" Elliot furrowed his brows.

"The Wilson's aren't from New York…either was Sam, he pulled more strings than I care to know," Casey smiled, "Seems he and Alex dated."

"Really?" Olivia grinned, "I thought you said you'd never play that card?"

"I thought you said you'd never go to church?" Alex teased back.

"Touché." Olivia conceded.

"Anyway, because he's a little more renowned than our red headed ADA here," Alex continued, "He's got more reach…but ultimately…Cragen put his ass on the line for you."

"What?" Olivia furrowed her brows in confusion, "How?"

"George, the attorney that helped you, tracked down the information, but it was Cragen who had to jump through the hoops and pull strings, call in favors and everything else under the sun…form what I understand, he finally didn't play by the rules, Liv."

"And it must not be too good because he's not telling a soul, said all that matters is that you two win." Casey smiled softly, "he's trying, Liv."

"He can try harder." Olivia bit back, although she wanted nothing more to call him and tell him thank you, after all he managed to call her everyday since the blow up and the fact that she never answered or just hung up on him never made him stop calling. Maybe she'd pick up next time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia's knees grew weaker by the second as the judge sat in his chair and placed his glasses over his face, "I'm prepared to deliver my ruling in the matter of Stabler V Wilson." He said matter of factly, "But before I do, I'd like to say something." He exhaled and looked to Olivia and Elliot, "The job you've done with Samuel is commendable, you two are honorable people, to take in a young child with so many things against him, yet you have loved him, you've opened you're minds, you're home and you're hearts to him, that is what being a parent is. Parenting, in my opinion has nothing to do with blood, genes, or next of kin, but has everything to do with what Mr. and Mrs. Stabler have already done."

The judge exhaled and turned to the Wilson's, "New York law is clear, you are the next of kin, and therefore you have the ability to claim him…"

Olivia clutched Elliot's hands waiting for the worst to come, waiting to hear that they would have to give up Samuel.

"However," The judge also continued, "The law is also clear on what abuse is, the law is also clear on neglect, and the law is also clear when it grants me the ability to place a child in a home I know he or she will be the safest in."

The judge adjusted his glasses and made a few notations on the paperwork in front of him as he spoke, "When I was a young father, my five year old daughter fell off the park swing and busted her lip open," he continued to write, "blood was everywhere, she ran through the crowd calling specifically for me because I am the one that nurtured her and loved her." He stopped talking and capped his pen, "There is no doubt in my mind that if Sam were hurt he would call for Mr. and Mrs. Stabler, and with that said, I'm awarding Mr. and Mrs. Stabler full custody of the minor Samuel Wilson, and you may proceed to adopt him as soon as you'd like."

Olivia and Elliot exhaled the stress and frustration they'd held for the past week as they rested their heads against one another.

"As for you Mr. and Mrs. Wilson," the judge continued, "I cannot tell you how much I hope the authorities investigate the abuse of Samuel, but as for now, I will settle for taking Mrs. Wilson into custody for perjury, for the period of two months and a fine of four thousand dollars to be assessed, however; said fine will be paid to the Stablers so they can continue to save for _their son's _education. Court is adjourned."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alex unlocked the door quickly understanding Olivia angst to pick up Sam. As soon as the door opened Olivia and Elliot made their way into their home as Alex stood back and watched.

"Sam." Olivia called for him.

"Olivia?" He called back happy to see her as he walked to her voice. She quickly closed the gap between them with her long strides and kneeled in front of him, caressing his cheeks and kissing his forehead and cheeks before embracing him tightly, "I love you Samuel." She squeezed him as she freely shed tears and Elliot crouched behind him kissing him softly on the top of his head and embracing his family in a warm hug.

"I love you both." Elliot smiled.

"Did I do something good?" Sam asked a little confused by all the attention.

Olivia pulled back and smiled at his innocent face, "You're always good baby."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

One day before they were to return to work Elliot found him staring at the television in shock, "OLIVIA GET IN HERE!" Elliot bellowed from the living room.

"What?" she furrowed his brow at his tone and then suddenly looked at the T.V. channel he was watching, "Why is Cragen on T.V?"

"He just announced an immediate press briefing." Elliot said in shock.

Olivia gasped when she saw him address the crowd in a full dress uniform he spoke somberly, "I have recently received information regarding one of the NYPD's senior officers…"


	27. Chapter 27 Set Up

Divided We Fall

Chapter 27 Set Up

"What the hell is he doing?" Olivia asked sitting softly next to Elliot.

"I don't know…listen." Elliot told her turning up the volume to the television.

On the screen Cragen cleared his throat, "It has been brought to my attention that a member of the NYPD hindered the investigation of an infant killed in a car accident approximately one year ago…"

"He's gonna ruin his career." Elliot whispered, watching in shock.

"As an officer of the law," Cragen continued addressing the press, "It is my duty to inform the people of this community that a cover-up has occurred and I am personally placing Chief Carlos Serna of the NYPD," Cragen swallowed hard and stared directly into to the camera, "on report until an official investigation is completed, during this time Chief Serna will no longer perform the duties assigned to him and a replacement will be provided."

Elliot and Olivia watched as a flurry of hands from reporters shoot upwards trying to ask a question, Cragen finally signaled for one reporter to stand and listened carefully to the question.

"Captain Cragen…is this the Stabler baby?"

"I will not divulge personal information about the Stabler's without their consent, next question." Cragen said curtly trying to avoid anything further.

"Who informed you of the cover-up?"

"I was informed by two of my senior detectives, one of which has since retired." Cragen informed them then placed his cap back on, "That's all I have for now."

Elliot turned the Television off and stared blankly at Olivia, "Wow…he didn't have to do that."

Olivia agreed, "He just put him self in hot water with the Morris Commission."

"Oliv-" Elliot started but was cut off by the phone. He eyed the caller I.D. , "It's Cragen's Cell."

"I'll answer it." Olivia whispered taking the phone and pressing the talk button, "Stabler residence this is Olivia." She tried to speak normally.

"Olivia? It's Don…how are you?"

Olivia's anger finally started to give away to compassion and perhaps understanding, "Well, from the looks of things, I think I should be asking you that question."

"As long as you're not hanging up, ask me whatever you want." He informed her, "Look, I need to talk to you gu-"

"Come by for dinner tonight, Captain." Olivia was almost shocked to hear her own words, "We'd like you to meet Sam and then we can talk."

"What time?" Cragen asked slightly anxious, "Can I bring anything, what about for Samu-"

"Don." Olivia smiled at his nervousness, "Seven O'clock don't worry about bringing anything."

Cragen exhaled over the phone, "Olivia,"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"Don, forgiveness is a must, but reconciliation…takes work." She told him, "We'll see you tonight...we want to send some alone time with Sam so how about eightish…okay…goodbye. " She hung up the phone and rested her head on Elliot's shoulder; exhaling a weight she didn't realize she was caring.

"I'm glad you did that Liv." He whispered kissing her temple, "I think it's gonna help us more than you know."

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you and I go out this Saturday, if we don't have anything going on at work, can we just go out and be with one another?"

Elliot stroked her back lightly and smiled softly, "I'd love to."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia and Elliot smiled as they sat in the waiting room of the attorney that Alex had suggested they go to. This would be the day they made it official, this would be the day Samuel became their son…legally.

"Mr. and Mrs. Stabler?" An older receptionist called them softly from the door. She wore her glasses just on the tip of her nose and Olivia wondered silently if older people took a special class to learn how to keep them balanced, or if it was just a trait that was suddenly mastered when you needed it? "Right this way." She smiled leading them down the hall in a completely overpriced office.

Elliot leaned over to Olivia and joked as they walked, "Thank God for pro bono huh?"

"Yeah," She agreed, "It would have been a shame to have to sell one of you're kidneys." She winked and discreetly ran her hand along his thigh as she walked past him into the office that she could have sworn would have been the size of her first studio apartment.

"Ah!" The silver haired man grinned standing to his feet and extending his tone arm to shake hands with Elliot and Olivia, "you must be the Stabler's, I'm so excited to meet you both I'm Sheldon Belco," He informed them motioning to two overpriced leather chairs, "please sit, I've got the paperwork already drawn up." He put his rimless glasses over his nose and waved his secretary off.

"You're pretty excited." Olivia informed him with furrowed brows not exactly sure what to make of his un attorney like behavior.

"Alex tells me you're two of the best people I'll ever meet." He responded running his hand through his hair and pulling out a file, "Alex never refers friends to lawyers…she must really like you two."

"We like her." Elliot smiled taking hold of Olivia's hand.

"She's taken good care of us and Samuel." Olivia informed the grayed hair attorney.

"Well, she probably told you I don't do Pro bono." He smiled.

"Yeah," Elliot shook his head, "can we ask why you decided to do it for us?"

Sheldon sat back in his leather chair and smiled, "I like to think that the surgery to remove the stick from my ass went pretty well…I like to let people see that I have a heart…every now and again anyway." He chuckled and then grew a bit more serious. "Actually, Alex told me a bit about Sam."

"Such as?" Olivia griped Elliot's hand a little unsure of which way this particular attorney was going to swing.

Sheldon suddenly changed the subject, "Why do people do what they do?" he smiled, "Why do some people become cops…other's lawyers, and still others teachers?"

Utterly confused, Olivia was starting to grow impatient; she looked at the clock knowing that they needed to pick Samuel up from school shortly. She was grateful when Elliot answered as diplomatically as possible, "I suppose everyone has their calling."

"Mmmm." Sheldon shook his head in agreement and slid the legal brief from the file across his desk. "Or perhaps, they choose their profession so that no child will ever go through what they did." He stated simply as he laid a fountain pen on top of the brief.

"Excuse me?" Olivia narrowed he eyes not sure if he was inferring that he knew of her past, or if he was confessing to his own.

"I can't play golf." He smiled taking his glasses off and for the first time looking directly at her smiling sadly, "I'm bloody blind in one eye…my father…I was four." He shook his head and maintained a soft smile, "C.P.S got me, blah blah blah," he chuckled, "you know how all that goes, I managed to get two of the best adoptive parents anyone could have." He grinned pointing to a picture on his desk, "beautiful people…like you two." He softened his features, "He's a very blessed little boy to have you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"It's official." Olivia smiled holding a copy of the legal papers in her hands as they waited outside the school to pick up Samuel…their son.

"Yep." Elliot grinned leaning over and kissing her softly on the cheek.

"It's amazing the way things work." She smiled leaning against the headrest and squinting against the sun.

"How's that?"

"Well, take for instance, Samuel." She smiled, "We've known a couple of different Samuels…even the guy who married us." She chuckled, "Maybe it was a sign?"

"Maybe." He smiled, "Hey Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"I thought you'd never been to church before?"

"I hadn't until we went under cover." She furrowed her brow at the oddity of his question, "What's up?"

"Just wondering." He shrugged his shoulder.

"Pretty odd thing to wonder about isn't it…spill. What are you thinking?"

"Well," he turned in his seat to look at her, "when I called Samuel Bedingfeild to schedule him for the wedding…I'd gotten the number from the magnet on you're refrigerator." He informed her somewhat bashfully. He knew she wouldn't have necessarily lied to him, but it never really made since to him.

Olivia laughed hysterically at the miscommunication.

"What's so funny?" he furrowed his brows watching beyond her as kids began to trickle out of the school.

"Ice cream." She smiled.

"Excuse me?"

"Ice cream…I ate it because it made me feel normal…I had the magnet because it made me feel…normal." She smiled softly, "I know it's stupid but I sort of thought that maybe having the magnet…would, I don't know," she shrugged her shoulders, "make people not think I was so cold."

Elliot rested his hand on hers stroking her softly with his thumb and leaning to her ear, "I don't think you're cold."

"Thanks." She smiled softly and then held up the paper, "Are we gonna tell him tonight before Cragen comes by?"

"Yeah," Elliot grinned, "Maybe turn the dinner into a little celebration for him, maybe he'll want to take a bubble bath, he still hasn't been able to."

Olivia grinned and turned her head to face him, "I'm really excited."

Elliot kissed her lips softly, "I know you are…I haven't seen that grin for a long time."

"I didn't know I still had it." She whispered back to him kissing him softly and then jumping at the sound of the school bell, "Crap." She exhaled and rested her forehead against his, she smiled, "Just when I thought maybe I would fulfill you're fantasy this week." She grinned at his expression.

"I still owe you yours." He informed her. "You drew from mine this morning?"

"Oh yeah…it's a little early but, I couldn't wait." she smiled playfully, "Looks like we've got an interesting week ahead for us."

Both Elliot and Olivia kept an eye out for Sam as they continued their conversations.

"Can I ask you something serious?" Elliot started.

"Sure." She whispered not knowing exactly what he would be asking her.

"You said we'd start looking for Isaac when we start work…which is tomorrow." He cleared his throat and was about to finish when she covered his hand with hers.

"Elliot," she smiled softly, "I've never lost sight of our objective, I want Isaac back…if it means I search for him my entire life, I will. I've been a little sidetracked with Sam, but I've never went a single day or _hour_ without knowing that I have a son somewhere…I just…" her voice trailed off and she exhaled.

"What?" Elliot asked softly, "You just what?"

"What if…" she swallowed the lump in her throat, finding only a hoarse tone available to speak with, "What if he's not alive?"

Elliot exhaled knowing that finding their son dead was still very much a possibility, he brought their laced hands to his face and kissed the back of her hand, "He's alive Liv…I can feel him."

He softly wiped the tear from her face and kissed her lips again, "Sam's on the steps, do you want to get him or do you want me too?"

"I want you to come with me." She smiled stepping out of the mustang and interlacing her hands with his as they walked the path.

"Hey Sam." Olivia smiled, but when Sam didn't smile back she crouched in front of him, "Elliot is here."

"Hi Elliot." He said blandly causing both Elliot and Olivia to exchange confused looks.

"Sam," Olivia rubbed his arm soothingly, "honey, did something happen today?"

"No." he said shortly, "Can I go home. I'm tired."

Olivia straightened herself knowing full well he was lying to her, "Okay." Olivia glanced at Alex who was always waiting with Sam, "We got everything squared away with Sheldon today."

"Robert and I will have to take you all out to celebrate." Alex smiled then leaned into Elliot and whispered a short message before waving goodbye to Olivia and retreating back into the school.

It was unusual for Sam to be so quiet while they walked back to the car, there were usually stories of his class partner, Crystal whom Olivia concluded he had a crush on, then there were stories of Alex, whom she also concluded he had a crush on. The fun stories usually came with his new discoveries at school, new literature books, and even the occasional flustered growl when he told her and Elliot he missed a silent 'E' on one of his spelling words that he had to verbally recite to his teacher.

"Buckle up." Olivia encouraged him softly as he climbed into the backseat and exhaled still not offering a reason for his current disposition, "I'm ready to talk when you are, okay?" she informed him tenderly and when there was no answer but a simple nod of his head she pushed the seat back and slid into the passenger seat, exchanging perplexed gazes with her husband.

They rode silent hoping that Sam would willingly confide in them with whatever it was that was on his mind. When Elliot made a left hand turn into the sun, Olivia lowered the visor and felt her heart sink as she caught the sight of Sam in the small mirror, silently crying in the backseat. Olivia quietly tapped Elliot's leg and motioned for him to look at Sam.

"Hey Sam?" Elliot called seeing the boy wipe his tears with the back of his hand.

"Yes?"

"Well," Elliot tried to sound happy in spite of the fact that he knew the boy was hurting, "tomorrow Liv and I start work, you know what that means?"

"I have to go to Mrs. Reynoso's after school…she's nice." Sam said softly leaning his head to one side. Elliot turned the car down the driveway, half way thankful that over the last two weeks of visiting Mrs. Reynoso everyday, Sam was ready to go to her home, and half way regretting that he didn't know how to comfort the young boy.

"Well, yes," Elliot smiled, "But it also means, that Olivia is gonna cut my hair tonight and I have to shave my goatee off…what do you say Sam…you up for a haircut and shave?"

"Really?" A smile finally emerged on the boys face as Olivia watched him from the mirror.

"Would you like a hair cut Sam?" Olivia asked as Elliot parked the mustang in front of their house.

"Like Elliot's?"

"Well," Olivia smiled, "if that's what you want…or we can do something different." She smiled as he took her hands and stepped out of the car, "But," she crouched in front of him and leaned her forehead against his, "Elliot and I have a great big surprise for you."

Sam's voice hitched through a grin as he cupped her cheeks and threw his head back in happy laughter, a motion that made Olivia fall in love with Samuel each time he did it. She felt Elliot standing behind them as she talked, "Well, I think Elliot still has the bubble bath…you never got to try it."

"I can take a bubble bath tonight?" He grinned again resting his hand on her shoulders.

"Yep." Elliot smiled running his hand through Sam's hair, "And I'll give ya a shave, cause we have a special visitor coming for dinner tonight."

"Alex?" He grinned, "Will she bring ice cream again?"

Elliot laughed as he led Sam into the house with Olivia following behind with a homework heavy backpack in hand, "Alex isn't coming by tonight Sam, although, she did say she and Robert would like to take you to the park on Saturday."

Sam stopped and trained his ear, when he was certain Olivia was near him, he smiled, "Can I go with Alex and Robert on Saturday?"

"If all you're homework is done and you're chores are done, and Elliot says it's okay…it's fine with me." She smiled knowing full well he loved to do his homework, got a kick out of dumping the trash and checking the mail, and there was no way Elliot was going to deny Sam.

"Can I Elliot?"

"Yep." Elliot smiled watching the little boy turn to leave then turn back around.

"Who's coming tonight?" he asked seriously.

"A friend of ours who would like to meet you," Olivia caressed his face still aware that he hadn't said anything in regards to what had upset him this afternoon, "he's a very important man."

"Why is _he_ important? Elliot's important." Sam informed her as if she didn't already know. She glanced up to see Elliot grinning at the boy's description of him.

"Yes, he is." She agreed, "but this man is important in a different way, he's a police captain and he's our boss and our friend." She explained to Sam, still a little shocked that she even had it in her to call him a friend.

"Is he nice?" Sam asked.

_What a loaded question_, Olivia thought to herself. She definitely was angry with him but that would hopefully heal over time, "He's a good man." She informed him, "he's going to celebrate with us."

"Celebrate?" Sam furrowed his brows.

Olivia looked up at Elliot who shook his head indicating she should tell him the news. "Sam," She smiled, "Go put on you're play clothes and Elliot and I will tell you what we're celebrating tonight okay?"

Sam smiled and simply turned to do as she asked.

"He's gonna be so excited." Elliot smiled embracing her from behind as she stood up.

"I hope so." She exhaled leaning back into him, "I wonder what had him so upset this afternoon?"

"Alex told me some older boys we're teasing him."

"What!" Olivia turned in his embrace, "Why would they do that?"

Elliot shook his head, "Kids can be mean."

"He doesn't deserve mean." She whispered, "What did they tell him?"

"Alex didn't say…she said Sam made her promise she wouldn't, but that if he didn't tell us tonight, to give her a call…she's trying to give him a chance to confide in us." He assured her.

"I'm glad Alex keeps an eye on him…I'm not looking forward to going back to work." She confessed, "I want to spend all my time with you two." She smiled then suddenly moaned and clutched his shirt to keep her balance.

"You okay Liv?"

"This flu is gonna kick my butt." She told him, "Mind if I sit down before I cut you're hair?"

"Go right ahead," Elliot smiled, "In fact-"

"ELLIOT!" She chirped feeling him pick her up and walk her over to the couch and lay her gently down just as Samuel showed himself.

"What are we celebrating?" Sam asked touching both Elliot and Olivia and choosing to lay against Olivia as they sat on the couch.

"Well," Olivia smiled wrapping her hand around Sam's shoulder, "Elliot and I went and saw a lawyer today."

"Elliot says lawyers are scumbags." Sam said innocently causing a laugh from both of them.

"Some are." Olivia agreed with a chuckle, "But we saw a really nice man today and he gave us some good news."

"What?" Sam furrowed his brow.

"You don't ever have to worry about you're daddy taking you away, Sam." She whispered softly over him.

Elliot rested his hand on Sam's leg, "You don't ever have to worry about no one ever wanting you."

"Is my daddy dead?" he asked matter of factly.

Olivia embraced him tighter, "No honey, you're daddy is in jail, remember? But no one can ever hurt you again because…we adopted you."

"You never have to leave Sam," Elliot informed him, "And we'll never let you go."

Sam sat still for a long moment and then slowly, the makings of a grin came into play as he let out a boyish screeched of pure happiness that Olivia knew she'd never heard from him before, not even with his favorite ice cream. "I got a mommy and daddy!" he smiled and laughed curling closer to Olivia but reaching for Elliot's hand and ensuring that it covered his and hers. "I'm you're boy." He smiled again, "You we're right Elliot."

"What do you mean?" Elliot asked in confusion.

"You said you would be a daddy…and now Olivia can be a mommy again and I can be a boy and we can do things because you love me and-"

"Sam." Olivia laughed at the sheer ecstatic energy that was coming off of him in waves, "Calm down honey," she tickled him softly, "you need to breath between sentences." She laughed and kissed his temple softly, "Are you happy Sam?"

Sam grinned again and embraced Olivia tightly, "I got a mommy and a daddy."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You're hair is so long." Olivia laughed, "I thought Marines couldn't stand long hair."

"I can't." Elliot chuckled.

"Then why did you let it get so long?" she smiled running the comb through his hair remembering that the last time she'd cut his hair was when she'd gotten her tattoo right around Christmas.

"How short?" She asked already knowing the answer, she put the correct guard into place on the clippers and smiled standing in front of him knowing full well he would rest his hands on her hips as he sat as still as possible. In a manner of minutes she was done. "I'm gonna miss your hair." She smiled.

"Really?" he rubbed his thumbs along the flesh just above her waistband.

"Yeah," she blushed and lowered her lips to his ears, "I like to run my hand through it when you make love to me."

"Oh." Elliot smiled slightly embarrassed with her bluntness, "Suppose I should have kept it then." He teased her, and then stood and pulled her into a kiss that was neither rough nor entirely gentle but it was sensually in between. She smiled against his lips and separated with a small step back, not completely willing to force him to take his hands off of her.

"I'm gonna miss this the most." She whispered grazing her lips against his goatee, "I'm surprised you kept it as long as you did."

"You like it." He whispered back feeling her lips over his chin.

"I love it," she chuckled, "but alas," she exhaled sadly, "all good things must come to an end." She smiled then grinned feeling his hands push her shirt up, "And you say all _I_ can think about is making love to you…you seem pretty anxious yourself Mr. Stabler."

"Can't help it Liv." He smiled grazing his lips against hers, "Maybe if you weren't you…it'd be easier on me."

"I think you just like to make out with me in the restroom." She teased and kissed him chastely on the mouth, "Come on, I still have Sam's hair and you promised him a shave." She smiled wondering just how he was going to actually pull that off.

Elliot looked at her closely, watched her carefully, he smiled softly raising her shirt over her head and kissing her lips just as she was about to protest, he separated from her lips tugging softly on her bottom lip before trailing his mouth along her neck, purposefully allowing his chin more contact with her skin than normal, "I thought I'd give you something to remember the goatee by."

"Oh yeah?" she grinned feeling him unclasp her bra, "What's that?" she asked softly then bit her lip feeling his mouth caress her nipple, "Oh." She responded almost inaudibly. She wasn't sure why her body did the things it did when he allowed his facial hair to caress her curves, but she liked to think she was smart enough not to protest.

Elliot released her, smiling at her protest and then picking her up so that she wrapped her legs around his waist as he pushed her gently against the wall, rubbing into her and hearing her take in a breath but not let it our immediately. After several gentle thrusts against her, he felt the exhalation of her warm breath against him, felt her body tense up, a sure sign she was getting ready to climax.

Elliot pulled away from her lips with a small smile and pried her legs from around his waist, "I'll go get Sam."

"What!" she hissed through a smile, "You can't do that!"

"The magazine said I could." He told her in a cocky tone.

Olivia smiled and rolled her eyes, "If you're only going to torture me and not follow up…remind me to cancel you're subscription."

"Who said I wouldn't follow up?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Alright Sam," Olivia smiled at the length of the young boys hair, "What would you like?"

Sam shrugged, "Usually the lady just cuts it all off and then they wait until it covers my ears and then they cut it all off again." Sam touched his hair that covered about half of his ears, "It's not suppose to be cut right now."

Olivia absorbed what he was telling her, the people who have taken care of him in the past were too unconcerned to even give him a fun hair cut. "Sam," Olivia smiled running her hand through his hair, "I cut Elliot's hair almost once a month to keep it short when he's at work, sometimes he lets it grow just a little longer, but I cut his hair often." She informed him hoping he would understand that he was entitled to the same care if he wanted it.

"Really?"

"Yep."

"How does he cut it?"

"He usually tells me to surprise him, but I know how he likes his hair so I cut it the same way."

Sam grinned, "Surprise me, Olivia."

"Alright," She laughed at his choice of words, "You'll feel a little water on your face," she smiled spraying his hair down with a water bottle before running a comb through it, "Alright, loud buzzing sound okay?" she warned him turning on the clippers and beginning the work of trimming, cutting and fading just as she had done to pay her way through college.

After several minutes of buzzing, a couple of gentle head adjustments, and seating arrangements; the length she needed, the fade she crafted and the soft almost untraceable sideburns she allowed to stay resulted in a very handsome young man. "Alright, ready for the fun part?"

"More?" he smiled.

Olivia chuckled, and reached for a bottle of styling gel she kept on hand but rarely, if ever, used. She eyed her watch knowing that Elliot had went to take a nap while she cut Sam's hair, and that Cragen would be showing up in a matter of two hours. "Yep." She finally responded, "How do you feel about gel, honey?"

"Jell-O? I like jell-o, cherry is my favorite." He smiled in perfect misunderstanding.

She grinned at the miscommunication, "No, sweetie I mean hair gel, it helps when you want to make your hair set a certain way."

Sam shrugged, "I don't know what it is."

Olivia put a small amount into her palm and massaged it through his hair producing a perfectly in style bed head look. "Ah…good looking boy, I got here." She smiled and rinsed her hair before dying her hands, "Go ahead and feel Sam."

Sam raised his hands to his hair feeling the spiked hair that went every which way, the short fade in the back and along the sides, "Will Elliot like this?"

"I think he'll wish he had the same style." She smiled. "Wait here, buddy, I'll get Elliot, so he can get you set up for that shave huh?"

"Okay." He smiled and patiently waited.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey." Olivia smiled watching Elliot's eyes flutter open and then his face register with the knowledge that her hand was definitely in his boxers.

Wide-eyed and smiling Elliot took in a breath, "Hi."

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked playfully.

"N…nothing." He whispered as she moved her hand over him causing his body to arch, "W-what are you doing?"

Olivia whispered softly in his ear, "Just waking you up." She smiled withdrawing her hand and walking away.

Elliot exhaled in frustration, "Hey!" he smiled realizing exactly what she'd just done, "You can't do that."

Olivia smiled playfully as she walked away, "Magazine said I could."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot finally got his body under control slipping on a pair of track pants and walking into the restroom. Sam seemed fascinated by the fact that Elliot could 'put on' and 'take off' his goatee. But when the mention of a razor came into the conversation Elliot immediately sensed the boys panic.

"It's okay Sam…it wont hurt me, it won't hurt you." He told him and when he realized Sam was growing even tenser he came up with an idea.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Knowing Sam probably wasn't exposed to food that was anything other than boxed or canned Olivia rummaged around the house deciding on enchiladas, refried beans and rice. She found her mind wondering as she thought of Isaac.

Turning on the stove she wondered if she and Elliot were truly capable of finding her son, she wondered what it was that Cragen needed to talk to them about tonight, other than the fact that he probably just ruined his career. She attempted to open a jar of jalapenos and found that she was unable to. She rolled her eyes making a mental note to slap Elliot for turning the lid so tightly.

Walking to the hall bathroom she was just about to give him a piece of sarcasm, but couldn't help the grin that formed over her face when she saw the reflection of her two favorite men in the mirror. She stayed off to the side so she could spy without being seen.

She watched as Elliot let Sam cover his face in shaving cream, an act that only she had had the privilege of doing. She smiled at the innocently messy covering Sam gave him, but Elliot took a look in the mirror and told him good job. She was about to walk in and congratulate him on a job well done when she watched in stunned horror as Elliot handed the razor to Sam, she listened closely, positive that Elliot had lost his mind and she would have to rush in to stop the bleeding at any given moment.

"Alright Sam, it's very sharp…remember the nail gun?"

"Yes." He shook his head.

"Well, if we're not careful I could really get hurt, so I'm going to help you okay?"

"Okay."

Elliot took a deep breath and wondered if he had lost his mind. It had taken everything within him to allow Olivia to shave him, but if this were what it took he would do it…carefully. He covered Sam's smaller hand and began to instruct him.

Olivia watched through misted eyes as Elliot allowed Sam an opportunity that no one in their right mind would have given him. Deciding that jalapeno's and cheap jabs weren't entirely as important as the precious sight in front of her she padded delicately away from the bathroom and back into the kitchen allowing them their own time together.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"My turn." Sam grinned, "Shave me." He told Elliot, "Please?"

"Okay." Elliot laughed at the youngsters eagerness, "First we put the shaving cream on like so." He said as he gently covered Sam's face in the white fluff.

That's when he decided he had run into a problem, there was no way he could actually run a razor across his face. "Hold on Sam."

"Olivia!" he called down the hall, "Can you help me please?"

"You called for a hero?" She teased peeking in and seeing Sam, "Ooh Sam, it's you're turn huh?"

"Turn?" Elliot asked catching on immediately that she must have seen something, and then it dawned on him that he was absent a goatee.

"What do you need?" She asked through a smile knowing she'd slipped and he caught it but hoping it wasn't a big deal.

Elliot pointed to the razor in silence indicating that he couldn't use a razor on an eight year old and he needed her to bail him out. She shook her head in silent laughter and withdrew a straight edged razor-like instrument that Elliot recognized came with that hair removing crème she use to use but found that she was allergic to.

He mouthed a silent thank you and ran warm water over it as Olivia hid in the recess of the hall spying again as Elliot tenderly bonded with Sam through an act most would have considered absurd if not stupid, yet as she watched the scene unfold, she couldn't help but thinking maybe things would be okay for them.

After setting the table and checking to ensure that the enchilada's were properly rolled and ready to be put in the over she smiled to herself and called to Elliot from the hall, "What about that bubble bath? Cragen's gonna be here in an hour."

Elliot had just finished wiping the remnants of shaving cream off of Sam's face. "What do you say Sam? Up for it?"

"Yeah," He smiled, "but I still don't get what a bubble bath is."

"Well," Elliot smiled, "I'll start the water and put the bubbles in and then I'll leave so you can jump in or if you want me to get Liv to help you I can do that too."

"Should I wear a tie tonight?" Sam asked seriously.

"If you'd like, how about you go gather you're clothes and I'll get the water going."

"Ok." He smiled and left rubbing his hands over his freshly 'shaven' face. Elliot smiled thankful that Sam had let him in just a little more. He ran the bathwater a little warm knowing it was a little cool in the house. He smiled to himself as he poured in the bubbles a little surprised that Samuel actually hadn't ever experienced a bubble bath before.

"Maybe you can wear a tie too?" Sam asked walking back into the bathroom and placing his hanger of clothes on a hook that Elliot had purposefully installed low for Sam's use.

"Sure, I think I will." Elliot smiled, "Alright, buddy, your towels are on top of the toilet seat, your water is ready, it's a little slippery because of the bubbles, do you want me to get Olivia for you?"

Sam ran his fingers over his cheek the same way he did after Elliot had shaved him. "Could you help me, Elliot?" he asked softly, almost afraid Elliot may say no.

"If you'd let me…I'd be happy to help you." Elliot smiled, "Maybe you'd like to feel the bubbles."

"I can feel them?" he furrowed his brow.

"Well, sort of." He smiled scooping a handful of the bubbles into his hand, careful not to get the water and holding it our to Sam watching his face as his fingers collided with the bubbles and his confused face gave way to a happy grin.

"Cool!" he giggled.

"Hop in." Elliot encouraged him, "I'm gonna read a magazine while you undress if that makes you feel more comfortable."

Sam's face straightened into seriousness, "Um-"

"I could get Olivia for you…or you can get in by yourself."

"Olivia knows you're with me?" He asked just to make sure.

"Yes she does, would you like to talk to her?"

"No." Sam shook his head softly and pulled his shirt over his head, "Olivia says I shouldn't get my hair wet."

"Okay, well usually with bubbles, you don't…all you have to do is jump in and have fun." Elliot encouraged him as he picked up the discarded shirt and opened a magazine making sure to snap it open so Sam knew he was reading. As Elliot moved further along in the article of better housekeeping he made a mental note to ask Olivia why he they had a subscription to it in the first place, but then stopped reading all together when he noticed Sam wasn't moving.

Lowering the magazine he saw a boxer clad Sam wringing his hands in nervousness. Elliot closed the magazine and placed it back in the carrier, "Know what Sam?"

"What?" He asked softly.

"Theres nothing in the bathroom penal code that says you can't wear you're boxers in the bath."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I looked it up and it very clearly states under section five that any bather can wear what ever type of shorts he wants so long as he can clean himself." Elliot smiled, "Ready to jump in?"

"Yep." Sam grinned.

Elliot slowly placed his hands under Sam's arms not wanting to startle him and raised him up, "Wow Sam, you're getting big." Elliot teased. It was just as Sam's feet the bubbles that he grinned, but that grin soon turned into complete terror as Elliot lowered him, "Sam? What is it buddy?"

Elliot watched in complete confusion as Sam opened his mouth to scream and only a harsh exhalation came forth.

"Is it too hot?" Elliot asked testing the water and finding that it was warm but not hot, "Sam, talk to me."

"OLIVIA!" Sam yelled in an ear-piercing scream as he started to stand only to slip back into the water, Elliot's arms breaking, what could have been a bad fall.

"Sam!" Elliot spoke firmly, "It's okay."

"NO! NO! NO! I wasn't bad!" Sam screamed again, "OLIVIA!" he screamed again as Elliot pulled him quickly out of the water and into his lap.

"Shhh Sam, it's okay." Elliot tried to hold him as he fought back, arms flailing as he pushed at Elliot's face scratching at him as he cried and screamed for Olivia again.

"I wasn't bad grandpa!" He screeched again as Olivia stepped in.

"What happened?" She asked in a panicked voice as she pulled Sam into an embrace that kept his arms down, "Honey, it' Olivia." She told him firmly to stop him from fighting with her. It was hard to keep hold of a frightened and wet little boy, "It's me Baby, I got you." She soothed him as he clung fiercely to her body, "What happened Sam?" she asked reaching out and clutching Elliot's hand to find that he was shaking just as much as Sam was.

Afraid, Sam crumpled her shirt into his fist, "I wasn't bad…tell him I wasn't bad." He demanded.

"Tell who? It's just me and Elliot."

"No!" He yelled again and started to fight with her as he kicked his legs forcefully, "Let me go! I hate you grandpa!" he screeched so forcefully that his voice broke under the stressed as he struggled for air to help him cry.

Olivia curled her legs over his body effectively stopping him from kicking her or Elliot as she held him securely in her arms, "I love you Samuel…I love you Samuel…I love you Samuel." She repeated and continued to stroke his hair as she failed to keep her own tears at bay. She didn't need to know exactly what had happened to him when he lived with his family…she knew he'd been broken…times like this, where she tried to sooth his rage, his hurt, and his fear that she knew he was shattered.

She guessed it was around the thirtieth I love you that he had finally cried and fought himself to sleep against her chest. All three of them sitting on the bathroom floor, wet, exhausted and completely perplexed by what had just happened. "What happened, El?" Olivia asked in a whisper.

"I don't know." He shook his head, wide eyed and in shock, "Things were going great, he was actually trusting me enough to help him into the bathtub," Elliot looked at the tub trying to figure out what he was missing, "he sat in the tub and then suddenly started to cry."

"The tub." Olivia closed her eyes knowing exactly what had just happened, "El, remember the story we heard in court?"

"Oh no!" He scrubbed his face with his hands, "How could I have been so stupid to forget that…he must not have realized…maybe he was expecting a shower?" he exhaled, "I can't believe I did that to him."

"Elliot," She rested her hand on his thigh as she continued to hold Sam, "It was both of our faults that we didn't put the connection together…we'll get past it and so will he…we just have to be there for him."

Elliot exhaled in frustration and then ran his hand lightly over the sleeping boys back, "When is his appointment with Huang?"

"Well," Olivia finally felt okay to release her legs from him and soften her embrace, "I think it was a good idea that we had Huang come over and visit with him to gain his trust, I haven't told him that he's a doctor…I think that we should do that together."

"I agree." He shook his head, "Let me help you up?"

"Please." She smiled softly as he stood and crouched down to help her up, he helped her support Sam as she stood.

"He's heavy." She chuckled softly, "and completely wet, can you go to his room and get me some clothes for him?"

"Sure." Elliot whispered kissing the top of Sam's head and then the corner of Olivia's mouth.

Olivia gently lowered Samuel to the bed, knowing that he preferred to take naps in Elliot and Olivia's bed. She guessed it was their scent that comforted him, but he was a man of his word and always knew to sleep in his own bed at night.

Elliot entered the room and whispered, "Here you go…he told me he wanted to wear a tie tonight, and I told him I would too." Elliot smiled, "Can you dress him alone? I don't want to spook him anymore."

"Yeah," She smiled softly, "Can you make sure dinner doesn't burn?" she asked eyeing her watch, "Cragen should be here in about a half hour, I think I'll let him sleep as much as he wants."

"Sounds good." Elliot whispered seeing the concern in her eyes, he closed the gap between the two of them and brought her into a hug, "You're good to him."

"So are you."

Elliot kissed her forehead, "I better get going before the kitchen catches fire."

Olivia moved quickly, not wanting Sam to catch a cold, and certainly not wanting him to wake up and be startled. She pulled him up gently and was surprised to feel him cooperate.

"Olivia?" he asked softly.

"Yeah Baby?" she crouched in front of him as he sat on the edge of the bed, silent tears running down his face in a matter of seconds.

"I'm scared."

"I'll protect you." She whispered hugging him tightly, "We'll protect you honey."

"I'm cold."

Olivia smiled softly, "Let's get you changed, would you like help or would you like to do it alone?"

"I can do it." He told her softly, but when she tried to give him his privacy he wouldn't let go of her hand.

"Sam?" She wiped his tears away gently, "It's okay to let me go, no one is going to hurt you."

"Help me." He managed to choke out through his tired cries, "Please don't leave me alone, he'll hurt me."

"Who?"

"Grandpa…the water…it's hot and it hurts me." He cried against her, "Not alone, please?"

"Okay Sam." She agreed, "I'll help you." She whispered as she tried to turn and reach for his clothes she found that he still refused to let her go. Olivia brought him close to her body letting him lean into her as she took a few steps to the clothes and helped him out of his wet boxers and into his dry clothes.

"Why are your boxers wet, Sweet Pea?" she asked finding it odd that he got in the tub with his underwear on.

He wiped the residual tears and took in a ragged breath, "Elliot says there's nothing in the bathroom penal code that says I couldn't wear them." He informed her.

_The bathroom penal code? Nice Elliot_. "Oh, I forgot about that." She smiled softly and buttoned the cuffs of his dress shirt, taking notice that his fingernails were chewed down so that they bled.

"Tuck, please." He told her tugging at his shirt.

"Absolutely." She smiled and helped him straighten his gig line. "Sam?"

"Yes, Olivia?"

"I'm ready to listen, when you're ready to talk…okay?"

Sam shook his head affirmatively as she draped his tie around his collar, "Is Elliot going to be angry with me?"

"Absolutely not." She assured him, "As a matter of fact, he'd probably like to see you right now and see that you're okay." She informed him as she started to tie his tie, he stopped her informing her that he didn't want it tied just yet.

"Okay…how about you go hang out with Elliot in the kitchen while I straighten things up?"

"Ok." He said softly and walked out of the bathroom.

Olivia exhaled and rubbed her face, hoping he would talk to her and open up, it wasn't that she wanted to know the details…nobody wants to know the details, but she wanted him to be able to confide in her and Elliot when he was scared.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia found herself putting the back to her earring in and watching as Elliot crouched down to tie Sam's tie. She furrowed her brows wondering why on earth Sam wasn't tying his own tie considering the fact that he was better at it than Elliot was. Christoff had taught Sam a lot of things and she was happy he was in Sam's life but knowing that Christoff had taught him so much, was a testament to how many people didn't want Sam and Christoff had to pick him up and bring him back to his office for placement.

"What's going on in here?" Olivia smiled leaning over the counter and watching Elliot finish what he would like to believe was a knot.

"Elliot isn't mad at me." Sam smiled, and then frowned slightly when he felt the knot in his tie. He offered no adjustment to himself as he turned in the direction of Olivia's voice.

_Wow…can't tie a knot, tie a lot_. She smiled to herself then realized that Sam was willing to wear the tie the way Elliot had tied it, in order not to hurt his feelings, even though he knew it was tied incorrectly and didn't look good. He was a remarkable young boy.

When the doorbell rang Sam grinned, "Can I answer the door Elliot?"

"Yep, but remember how we taught you…ask who it is first and if you know their voice you can open the door." He reminded him knowing that Cragen had only been in the house once and it didn't go so well when he was here last.

"You may not recognize his voice Sam," Olivia assured him, "His name is Don Cragen." She informed him as the doorbell rang again.

Elliot watched as Sam made his way to the door and followed the instructions perfectly, he was about to say something when he felt Olivia pull him to her and kiss him seductively, tracing his lips with her tongue before seeking him out and running her tongue over his teeth, gently sucking on his bottom lip and kissing his chin as she separated.

"Wow." Elliot blushed, hearing Cragen introduce himself to Sam, "What was that all about?"

"I forgot how you felt without the goatee…thought I should remind myself." She smiled and walked with him to the front door where Cragen was holding out a small container of ice cream and explaining to Sam that Alex had told him his favorite flavor.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Don was secretly thankful that dinner conversation centered mainly around the young boy they had just adopted. He watched the interaction between the three as Olivia placed his dinner plate in front of him.

"Alright Sam, you got beans at twelve O'clock, rice at three and an enchilada from six to nine." She smiled, "Milk is in the same ole place." She reminded him and then took her seat.

There were no angry or frustrated words spoken, no questionable gazes exchanged, it was a simple dinner amongst friends…who needed to talk with each other eventually. After almost an hour of discussing 'this' and 'that's' Cragen smiled and pointed at Sam.

"I think someone is tired." He said.

Elliot grinned and chuckled looking at Sam whose head was bowed and breathing was steady, "He cold fall asleep at a rock concert."

"He sweetie," Olivia nudged him softly, "Wake up…it's time to go to bed."

Sam stirred and rubbed his eyes, in exhaustion he simple slid off of his seat and walked to his room, "Hey buddy?" Olivia smiled, "Where's my hug and kiss good night?"

Sam blushed and returned to her voice kissing her softly on the cheek and hugging her tightly, "Good night Olivia."

"Night Sam," She kissed him softly on the crown of his head, "I put in a new book for you in you're cd player, push play before you jump in bed and I'll be in, in a second to tuck you in."

"Ok." He smiled and then surprised her by going to Elliot and hugging him tightly, placing a soft kiss on his cheek, "Good night Elliot."

"Good night." Elliot whispered almost crying that for the first time, Sam had come to him for a hug and kiss goodnight.

After Sam vanished into his room and Elliot and Olivia cleared the table she told them to take their iced teas into the living room and she'd be there shortly. She padded her way into Sam's room fully aware that he had turned his book on and had already fallen asleep. She tucked his blankets around his body a little snugger and gave him another kiss on his forehead, "Night sweet heart."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So." Elliot arched his brows as he and Olivia found themselves starring at Cragen.

"So." Cragen nervously responded.

"Looks like you're in a world of hurt Cap." Olivia chimed in trying desperately to be civil.

"I've been suspended pending." He smiled out of embarrassment.

"What!" Olivia screeched, "Tell me you're kidding."

"I wish I was." Cragen shook his head, "Immediately after the press conference, I was suspended."

"Why?"

"I made an allegation without proof." Cragen confessed, "I was brash, and placed Chief Serna on report without having proof."

"Why in the hell did you do that?" Elliot shook his head, "You know when you put someone on report…especially a member of brass that you have to provide proof."

"Well," Cragen shrugged his shoulders, "I did what I was told to do."

"What?" Olivia shook her head, "What do you mean 'told to do?"

Cragen exhaled, "Olivia…Elliot, I am so sorry that I kept the information about Isaac form you both, I truly thought I was doing the right thing," his eyes teared, "I loved Isaac like he was my own flesh and blood…but I do realize that I completely missed the mark and hurt you two even more, there is nothing that I could ever do or say that would warrant you're forgiveness."

"Don," Olivia whispered, "We forgive you…we just need some time to absorb things…see where everything fits." She assured him, actually finding that his apology had touched a deeper part of her that she thought she had isolated in order to remain angry at him.

Cragen shook his head and pursed his lips, "Munch retired."

"We heard about that." Elliot informed him wondering why he brought it up.

"I know you did." Cragen whispered, "He's not coming back is he?"

"No." Olivia responded softly, "But I don't understand what he has to do with anything right now."

Cragen reached into his suit jacket, "I thought the whole Angelina Jolie thing was just a phase." He smiled and pulled out a post card from Phnom Penh and an envelope. "I got the letter in the mail awhile ago, and the post card just recently, took me awhile but I figured it out."

"What?" Elliot asked taking the letter from him and reading it.

Cragen sighed, "John set up all three of us."

A/N: Sorry for the fluff fluff, but it's a chapter that had to take place so the story made since…also I'm so sorry it took so long to get posted this time, I was in the middle of my thesis dissertation to my college and it was crunch time. LOL hope you all understand. And don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Isaac, but I do encourage you all to hold on cause things are about to get interesting for a whole lot of people. LOL


	28. Chapter 28 Ready To Talk

Divided We Fall

Chapter 28: Ready To Talk

Olivia stared at Cragen in disbelief, "I refuse to believe that." She spat almost harshly until she saw Cragen smile.

"I'm sorry, I should have rephrased that…he expressed, in his letter to me, that he wants us reconciled, he told me that the only way to do that was to get my ass in the sling, and the only way to get my ass in the sling, was to put Serna's in it right along with me…I'm not sure what he gave you, he asked me not to ask, but just to trust you two that you'll come through when the time is right."

"Reconciliation." Elliot muttered.

"Yes." Cragen shook his head in agreement, "I'm asking for your forgiveness for letting you both down and for letting your son down, please forgive me, not just as a friend but as a fellow cop."

"Don," Olivia leaned forward until she was on the edge of the couch, she reached over to him and gently touched his arm, "we've already told you that you _are_ forgiven, we just need time, our main goals right now are to find Isaac, get Sam adjusted and get back to work."

Cragen smiled softly, "Speaking of work," he said standing to his feet and retrieving his briefcase he left by the hall closet, "I've got something for you both."

"You didn't have to bring anything." Elliot smiled.

"We'll, actually I did." Cragen chuckled and opened the briefcase, "Detective Stabler." He smiled and tossed Elliot his badge, "Detective Benson." He said softly feeling his eyes mist as he walked to her and handed her the very shield that he knew she would lay her life down for at the drop of a hat. He purposefully let his hand linger over hers as she grasped the badge.

Olivia watched as Captain Cragen fought to hold his tears at bay, she pulled him close to her and wrapped him in a forgiving embrace, "Your forgiven…know that." She whispered in his ear trying to hold her own tears back, "We love you, we forgive you."

"Thank you." Cragen whispered hoarsely as Olivia separated from him and stood next to Elliot, both looked at their badges knowing that they both wondered if they'd ever wear them again.

"Hey Cap?" Olivia smiled trying to lighten the mood, "These come with guns or what?"

Cragen grinned, and placed two holstered weapons on the coffee table, "Wouldn't have it any other way…you both have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow."

"Ah," Elliot moaned, "Tell me you guys didn't save our paperwork."

"No," Cragen smiled, "But you haven't been at work in a year, you've got to go to the range tomorrow afternoon and re certify, and um…" Cragen grew a little more serious.

"Um what?" Olivia furrowed her brows, "Don, don't keep things from us…especially if it's about Isaac," She shook her head, "I can forgive once…but I won't forgive twice."

"It's not really about Isaac." Cragen whispered rubbing the back of his neck.

"Then?" Elliot rested his hand at the small of Olivia's back.

"I've been suspended."

"You said that." Olivia narrowed her eyes trying to figure out what he was leading up to.

"I've also been summonsed in front of the Morris Commission for a hearing to see if I will be relieved of my command…permanently." He swallowed.

"Why so soon?" Olivia furrowed her brow.

"Because, Munch said so." Cragen smirked hardly able to believe that he was following the instruction of a man that for all he knew was entirely still pissed off at him.

"What?" Elliot shook his head, "I don't follow."

"Either do I." Cragen smiled sadly, "All I know is he asked me to follow his letter to a 'T', which meant going on live television and exposing Serna, and then calling you two. I was suspended shortly thereafter and it was only because I had already completed the paperwork to reinstate you two that they allowed _me_ to give you your badges and guns back."

"Thank you." Olivia smiled softly.

Cragen looked at his watch, "Well, it's late, but if you…well…my hearing is at one O'clock."

Olivia shook her head softly, forgiveness was paramount but she didn't know if she was ready to give herself over to be emotionally supportive, "I can't guarantee you anything Cap…but…we'll see."

Cragen smiled as they ushered him out the door, "That's all I ask."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So, Munch set us up, huh?" Olivia smiled softly running floss through her teeth.

"Yeah," Elliot pulled an 'A' shirt over his frame, "he's a cheeky little bastard."

"He's a good man." She mumbled discarding the floss and reaching for the Listerine.

"He really cares that you and I get back on good terms with Cragen." Elliot said tossing a pair of jeans into the hamper.

"I know." Olivia agreed spitting into the sink and letting the water rinse the stain away.

"Olivia?"

"Mmm?" She responded wiping the excess moisture form her lips onto a hand towel.

"I think I know what Munch wants us to do."

"I'm not doing it." She said defiantly as she folded her arms over her chest. Stubborn…that's Olivia.

"Liv…come on, hear me out." He smiled softly.

"NO!" she stalked past him, "I said I'd forgive him and I did." She spoke angrily as she pulled the comforter back and slipped into the bed.

"Liv-"

"I said I'd _forgive_ him!" she reiterated slightly louder as she angrily adjusted her pillows, "I didn't say anything about _helping_ him…he got himself _into_ this mess…he can damn well get him self _out_!" she barked turning her back to Elliot and pulling the covers over her body. "Good night." She snipped effectively ending the conversation.

"Your grouchy." He informed her slipping in next to her…cautiously.

"Grouchy?" She pulled her head up and eyed him in anger, "Are you kidding me?"

"Nope." he shook his head innocently.

She shook her head not quite knowing what to do other than get out of the bed and away from _him_ before she said something she regretted. "Whatever."

"What's that mean?" he asked in a normal tone getting him self out of the bed and following her to the bathroom.

"It means _whatever_ you want it to mean, it means you can do _whatever_ you want to do, it means you can be _whatever_ you want to be," She barked careful to keep her voice out of earshot of Samuel, "even if it means your being a jackass!"

"Wow." He whispered clearly hurt by her accusation.

She saw his eyes extinguish right in front of her; she'd let her anger get the better of her, "I'm sorry." She confessed, immediately closing the gap between the two of them and reaching to caress his face.

Elliot gently took hold of her wrist and lowered it from his cheek, returning quietly to the bed and shutting off the bedside lamp.

"El?" she called to him softly regretting what she'd just said. She slid back into bed next to him, not liking the fact that his back was to her, his back was _never_ towards her and it made her anxious not having his arms around her, "Elliot?"

"Good night, Olivia." He said dryly, making no motion to embrace her, her words stung him and she knew it.

She lay there hoping that he would talk to her, hoping that he would understand where she was coming from, that he would take her side and support her, but it had only taken her heart about five minutes to convince her mind that _she_ was the jackass. She propped herself up on her elbow and wrapped her free hand around his waist, whispering into his ear, "Elliot, I'm so sorry for what I just said to you…please forgive me?"

When there was no answer she felt her eyes water, while she knew it wasn't a marriage ending fight, she didn't like that they weren't on the same page and she especially didn't like that they were going to bed upset, that was something they didn't do…no matter what. "Elliot, I'm sorry I yelled at you." She confessed but received no answer in reply.

She kissed his neck affectionately and interlaced her fingers with his feeling him respond with a slight squeeze of the hand, "Please talk to me." She whispered and sniffled trying to keep her composure, "Please, we've never went to bed angry with each other…please, I want to talk, I'm sorry for what I said."

Elliot smiled to himself, she was border line begging, a sure indication that she was in fact sorry, he turned to her and took her into his arms allowing her to rest her head against his chest, "I'm not upset…just stung a little is all."

"I know…it was wrong of me, I was the one being a jackass."

"Yeah you were." He agreed with a small laugh and then kissed her forehead softly, "But you're a cute jackass."

"Ouch!" she grinned, he could insult her all night, long just so long as he was talking to her.

Elliot kissed her lips, gently exploring the forgotten sensation of clean-shaven against seductively soft. He pulled her on top of his body and he would have smiled except for the fact that Olivia held his face in her hands and kissed him deeper, more passionately, as if the ten strained minutes they had just had was a lifetime. She moved her tongue over his teeth, hearing him moan against her mouth in appreciation before she broke away cursing the necessity of oxygen. "I'm sorry Elliot." She whispered over his lips, "I'm so sorry."

"Stop apologizing." He chuckled, "I was antagonizing you…I'm sorry."

"Forgive me?" she asked softly, resting her forehead against his.

"You were forgiven before you ever even said it." He assured her as he played with her hair taking note that it was as long as he'd ever seen it before. "I thought you were going to cut your hair?"

"I was," she kissed him softly again, "but the woman who usually does it is on vacation and I don't trust anyone else with my hair." She informed him tracing his lips with her tongue and then lowering her mouth to his ear and whispering seductively as she rubbed her hips against him, "Is there anything I can do to make up for my behavior, Mr. Stabler?"

He smiled resting his hands on her hips, "As a matter of fact," he spoke softly kissing her with a parted mouth on the cheek, "there is."

"Oh yeah?" she grinned caressing his neck with her mouth as she made her way down to the hollow space he loved, "And what would that be?"

Elliot grinned, feeling her suck softly at the base of his neck, "Let me cut your hair."

He suddenly realized a sure fire way to stop Olivia's desire dead in its tracks. She immediately stopped the pleasurable sensation she was producing and stared at him, "Excuse me?"

"You're hair…let me cut it."

She arched her brows in shock, "Are you hallucinating?"

"Nope…pretty sure your always this beautiful." He grinned teasing her; "You cut my hair all the time."

"Little different don't you think?" She said in her defense.

"How so?" He smirked at her knowing this was going to be difficult but he _was going to_ get to cut her hair.

"Are you nuts?" She shook her head and sat back on his waist keenly aware that a forming erection was just under her bottom, "If I mess up on your hair its perfectly acceptable for you to walk around with a shaved head, _I_ on the other hand…am not, let me repeat…_am not_, walking around with a shaved head."

"What makes you think I'll mess up?" he smiled.

"Elliot," She smiled apologetically, "I saw Sam's tie tonight…you can't dress yourself, and I've seen what your version of straight can entail…your talent is not in fashion, I'm sorry, I don't think this is a good idea."

"Please?"

"Your _begging_ me to cut my hair?" she asked a little shocked.

"I'm asking you to trust me." He smiled softly pulling her down to meet his lips, "Just tell me how to do it…that's all…I just want to do something intimate with you."

"Um…I was just suggesting we _make love_…what could be _more_ intimate?"

"You trusting me to cut your hair."

She looked at him intently and could not, for the life of her, figure out why he wanted to cut her hair so badly. She tried to remember what she felt when she cut his hair, try to establish what he could possibly be thinking, and then it dawned on her, it was one of the most sensual things she'd ever done for him, it was silly, yes, but the closeness, the ability to be so close to one another was…sensual. She remembered that she herself felt sexy knowing that he preferred for her to cut his hair…because…because he was _depending_ on her, he was _trusting_ her…just as he'd trusted Sam not to cut him with the razor.

Olivia smiled softly at Elliot and kissed his lips before whispering in his ear, "Come on, you have to wash my hair first."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot wrapped his arms around her waist as the warm water pelted both of them. He kissed her neck softly, allowing his tongue to caress her, "I love you." He whispered into her ear causing her to turn in his arms and face him.

"I know you do." She grinned, "This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to wash my hair." She chuckled.

Elliot took her bottom lip into his mouth and sucked softly as he gently cupped her breast, "You should be more specific."

"Maybe I like seeing you get your wires crossed." She teased then felt her body take in a gasp of air as his mouth pulled pleasurably on one of her nipples, "See what I'm saying?" she grinned, letting her head roll back and enjoy him.

"I really want you, Liv." He informed her.

She reached down and stroked his hardening length with her fingertips; "I kind of figured that out already." She whispered.

"Let me make love to you…right now." He smiled against her lips, rubbing himself into her as she rested against the cool tile of the shower.

"Um…" She tried to think coherently but his tongue swirling around her nipple wasn't doing anything to help her brain waves, "I just want…"

"What?" he whispered turning her around and gently spreading her legs just slightly "What do you want?"

"I just want noted for the record," She began as he interlaced his hands with hers and held them against the tile, "that if we do this…I still better get my fantasy night." She smiled then gasped feeling him fill her up slowly, smoothly in one unbearably slow motion that was uncharacteristically…painful.

"I don't think that will be a problem." He smiled against her cheek, "You okay?" he asked feeling her body clamp down over him tighter than normal.

"Yeah." She assured him not entirely sure what to make of the pain that almost made her want to tell him to withdraw, but feeling him kiss the back of her neck as he began to slowly pull out and push back in, inches at a time until she moaned for more, made her reconsider.

"I don't like fighting with you Liv." He informed her breaking contact with one of her hands to feel her breast, to hold her in his hand.

"I'm sorry." She apologized again feeling him thrust into her smoothly but slightly harder slightly more painfully, she winced, but quickly regained control before he noticed, "I'm so sorry I treated you that way." She whispered trying to control her breathing and willing her muscles to relax.

"It's okay…I just don't like not having you in my arms." He whispered feeling her break the last connection of their hands and pulling both of his around her waist as he moved within her. She supported herself against the tile with her hands, hoping to make it more bearable, she wanted to please him, to satisfy him but her body was not cooperating with her.

She turned her neck to see him, to look at his face as he pushed into her body with his own, delicately, passionately. He lowered his lips to hers and kissed her, taking a blessed journey into her mouth as she reached back and caressed his jaw. He raised one of her thighs, holding it in his hand as he moved faster into her.

"Oh! That hurts." She drew in a deep breath breaking the kiss.

He felt her entire body cringe, "I'm sorry…what did I do?"

"I don't know." She whispered back, she'd never felt something that painful before but since the pain subsided in a matter of seconds, "I'm okay." She assured him, "Keep going." She chuckled.

"You sure? Do you want me to use some lubricant or something to make it easier for you?"

"No, I'm sure." She grinned reaching behind her and gently caressing him, "I'm defiantly sure."

He smiled against her and moved again, he could tell it wasn't an issue of not wanting him, she was clearly trying to initiate him in the bed, but when he grabbed her hips and tried to go deeper, she bit her lip and let out a small shriek…not in passion.

"Ahhh…stop! Please, stop." She panted grabbing his wrists at her waist, "Please…that hurt."

"What is it, Liv?" He asked withdrawing him self immediately and turning her to him. She tried to avoid his gaze at all costs but he simply tipped her chin up to him, "What is it?" he spoke compassionately, "Do you think it's the water?"

"No." She whispered, "It was just…very…painful."

"Okay." He smiled softly caressing her chin, he lowered himself to kiss her but she ducked away from him.

"I'm sorry." She whispered barely audible over the water but he heard it and held her against him.

"No reason to be…we've got all kinds of time to catch up." He chuckled softly.

"Sorry to lead you on…and then hang you out to dry." She confessed wiping a rebellious tear away.

He laughed softly, "You know," he teased, "you're not getting out of me cutting your hair."

She playfully slapped his slick abdomen, "I wasn't trying to." She chuckled half-heartedly then frowned, "Please don't be disappointed with me."

"Completely not disappointed with you." He assured her.

"Please don't be upset."

"Completely not upset…completely in love with my sexy wife, and if she doesn't want to make love right this second if she _can't_ make love right this second, then we can do something else." He assured her, "Like cut her hair." He grinned.

"Alright," She laughed, relieved that he wasn't making a big deal about the situation, relieved that he understood that she wanted to massage her ego first and talk later, "Let's understand one thing buddy."

"What?" He asked pouring soap onto a sponge and gently running it over her back.

"It's a _trim_…not a _cut_…big difference." She informed him.

"I understand that…just trust me." He whispered washing her body gently and then grabbing for the shampoo.

"I trust you." She told him turning in his embrace and locking eyes with him, "I trust you implicitly…so much in fact, that it's scary."

He was surprised with the sudden confession but he accepted it as truth and was glad to hear it. He ran his lathered hands through her hair and kissed her gently, not wanting her to think he wanted to try and make love again. He allowed the water to rinse her hair as he kissed again finding himself surprised when she separated his lips with her tongue and explored him softly, gently as if they were making this connection for the first time. She separated, panting softly, resting her hands on his chest and looking down.

"Liv?" he kissed her forehead affectionately, "What's on you're mind…what's bothering you?"

She shook her head softly not wanting to talk, "Could you…could you just…hold me?"

He took her into his arms and held her tight, held her as close as possible, "There's no reason to be ashamed Liv."

"What's wrong with me?" She whispered and he wondered if it was actually intended for his ears.

"Maybe…this is going to sound crude…maybe we've been over doing it?" he smiled softly against her.

"I'm having nightmares."

"What?" he furrowed his brows, "Liv…honey, why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want you to worry." She confessed, "They come and go…blurry…clear."

"Can you tell me what they're about?" he asked softly turning her away from the stream of water and turning the shower off.

She shook her head softly, "No…no, I can't."

He reached out of the door and grabbed a towel draping it around her body, "Let's get you changed."

"I wasn't supposed to have Isaac." She blurted softly.

"What?" he furrowed his brow and helped her out of the shower, taking his own towel form a hook and wiping himself down, "Liv, honey, what's going on?" he asked pulling her naked body against his own, "Talk to me…what do you mean."

"I never told you…I thought you wouldn't want me." She whispered hoarsely.

"Never told me what?"

"Two percent chance." She whispered.

"What?" he asked softly completely confused as he handed her a tank top that she didn't take, she was emotionally naked and she couldn't care less that she was physically naked. "Two percent chance of what Liv…rain?" he smiled softly knowing that whatever it was that was bothering her was killing her, he kicked himself not being able to catch it before it got this far.

"Two percent chance that I would have kids." She whispered looking down at her bare feet, she made a mental note that she should re-do her toe nails and then wondered why she was thinking of something so stupid when she was trying to tell him something so important.

Elliot wrapped a towel around his waist tucking it securely at his side and likewise, wrapped her towel around her chest, "I don't understand Liv…you never told me this."

"I thought if I told you…you wouldn't want me."

"Liv," she smiled, kissed her lips delicately, "I'll always want you…no way around it." He pulled her into him and held her tightly, "Want to explain to me what you're trying to say?"

She exhaled, wrapped her arms around his body, "When I was about twenty-three, I went into the doctor's office for an annual pap smear and…it hurt so bad." She whispered.

"Like tonight?"

"No…worse, I thought I was going to pass out, it was so intense." She exhaled finding comfort in his tender strokes of her back.

"What was the matter?"

"Build up of scar tissue." She said trying to break the embrace but finding he wouldn't let her.

"I'm listening…no running…no fighting, just talking." He assured her.

"You know how much damage forced intercourse can cause?" She tried to laugh even if it was a cynical one but nothing came out.

"I…I'm sorry Liv, I didn't know it was that bad, I mean I knew it was bad, any rape is bad, but I don't think I understood how much damage was caused…your medical report didn't say anything."

"I'd come home from the hospital and about two days later…I was bleeding everywhere." She grasped him tighter, "There has been…an internal laceration that the doctor thought would heal on it's own but…but I can't remember what I did to aggravate it…but next thing I knew, there was this excruciating pain…one hospital visit and eighteen sutures later, I was back home."

He closed his eyes, held her tighter, "I'm so sorry."

"You didn't do anything."

"I'm sorry you had to endure that."

"I survived."

"Your stubborn."

"I survived."

"You're a survivor."

"I'm a survivor." She smiled softly and pulled back to look at him, "I have, what the doctors call an inverted cervix, doesn't mean it's impossible to get pregnant…just makes it a little harder." She informed him pulling at the thread of the towel.

"Why did they give you such a low chance?" he asked knowing she was still holding back.

"The build up of scar tissue," She shook her head, "They warned me intercourse might be painful, but since it never was with you…I thought I was okay."

"Liv…why the number?" he asked again.

"The tissue, the cervix…combine the two and the doctor threw the number at me…and when I had Isaac…I…I knew I was pressing my luck."

It finally settled in on him, it wasn't just loosing a child, it was loosing a child that you weren't suppose to have in the first place, it was a child who's genetic material was against him as well as the probability of creation in the first place.

"Olivia," he smiled softly, "you are my wife…you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen…we we're blessed with Isaac, you we're given Isaac, numbers don't mean anything in the realm of God…they mean absolutely nothing."

"I know…that's why…when we had him, I, I was shocked I was pregnant, and terrified that I wouldn't be a good mother…I think silently I was happy I wasn't suppose to have kids."

"Why? You love kids."

"I know…but, inside, I was happy I couldn't pass on any of my genes, I was happy, my lineage would finally stop." She let out a ragged breath and wiped the moisture from her eyes, "That's partly why, when I found out I was pregnant…I didn't…" he voice tailed off.

"Didn't what?"

"I never regretted a day we had with Isaac…I never regretted having him." She assured him.

"I know." He held her hand, "You didn't what? Want him at first?"

She bowed her head in shame.

"Liv, we discussed all of that before we even brought him into the world, I haven't held anything against you, don't beat yourself up, I understand exactly why you were scared."

"Do you think that's why God took him away…to teach me to be grateful?"

He looked almost shocked at her conclusion, "Olivia Stabler, He did not punish you!" he said adamantly.

Olivia rested her head in his shoulder, "What if I don't get pregnant again?" she whispered, her words coated in shame.

"Then we raise Sam, happily, and I fall in love with you every day I wake up next to you." He whispered.

"I'm being serious…what if…what if the doctors are right?"

"Liv…your forgetting, when we had Isaac…you proved their theory wrong, if we end up pregnant, I'll be the happiest man in the world, but if we don't, and all I ever do is hold you and the little boy we have asleep on the other end of this house that we've made together…then I'll be the happiest man in the galaxy."

She smiled softly, "Galaxy huh?"

"Absolutely." He assured her, "Can you tell me something though?"

"Yeah."

"What we're the dreams about?"

She rested her head in the crook of his neck and sniffled, "Please, don't make me tell you."

"When your ready?"

"Yeah."

"Okay…let's get you dressed and in bed, we've got an early day tomorrow." He smiled kissing her gently as she caressed his lips gingerly reaching behind him for something else.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" she whispered in his ear.

"What?" he smiled out of curiosity.

Olivia extended her hand placing a pair of hair scissors in his, "You promised me a trim."

"Liv, you're already stressed out…I don't want to add to it."

"Elliot…you promised me a trim."

"I didn't promise."

"Then pretend you did." She smiled softly and made him take the cutting tool, "I swear, if you don't cut it straight, you won't sleep next to me for a very long time." She chuckled standing in front of the mirror and handing him a brush, "You have to comb it first, it's wet so go easy, I'm tender headed."

"Really?" he smiled, "Doesn't seem to bother you when we're making love and I-"

"Elliot…keep your focus." She smiled at him through the mirror.

She was slightly surprised by his tenderness, as he started at the end of her hair, her hair that over the past year had grown a few inches past her shoulders. He was slow, deliberate in his motions, gliding the brush along the auburn locks.

"Now what?" he asked softly once her hair was completely combed, parted and pulled back appropriately to start the trim.

"Take this," She smiled softly knowing she was out of her mind to let him do this, she handed him a comb and demonstrated the movements he needed to do with her hands, "A straight trim…that's all I ask." She smiled.

Olivia let her towel fall to her ankles.

"Are you deliberately trying to ruin my concentration, woman?" he teased.

"No…believe me, that's not what I'm going for…My hairline was right on the towel line…you wouldn't be able to cut it straight like that…this is easier." She smiled softly.

"Uh huh…do you do this for the lady who cuts your hair?" he teased.

"Nope, just for the guy who tattoos my breast." She smiled knowing she'd gotten him.

"What!" he looked right at her in shock.

"I'm teasing…don't get unnerved on me…especially with the scissors." She warmed.

He exhaled and smiled, then grew a bit more serious when she reached over her shoulder and covered his hand, "Thank you."

"For what?" He furrowed his brow.

"For not making me feel ashamed." She answered softly.

"I'd never want you to feel that way." He kissed the top of her head softly, took a step back and ran a comb through her hair, stopping just like she'd shown him and making the first cut. She felt her heart skip a beat and her mind start to pray, but soon, she was at ease, simply having him so close, undistracted by her nakedness, unconcerned with her previous confession. She felt sexy having her husband care for her in a way that she had never really considered before.

She watched him intently in the mirror, watched his focus, the furrow of his brow as he ensured his cutting was even. She watched the muscles under his skin, watched them flow as he moved, watched him crouch just slightly to see if the hair was perfect, she watched him take care of her and then it clicked just what he meant by doing something intimate. This was intimate for him…for her.

"There you go…a masterpiece by yours truly." He smiled handing her a small mirror to which she simply put back on the countertop.

"You that scared to see what I did?" he asked a little shocked that she didn't want to see the perfectly straight trim he'd given her, that made her hair fall just above her shoulders like it always had.

She took his hand and silently led him back into the bedroom, "I want you to make love to me." She whispered pulling him by the towel as she walked backwards to the bed.

"Liv, you don't have to prove anything to me."

"I'm not…I think I can, if we go slow and maybe…maybe use something?"

He smiled softly, and retrieved a small tube of lubricant from the nightstand, "I don't think we've ever used this." He smiled, "Are you sure…I don't want you to hurt for my benefit."

"I'll let you know the second it hurts…just please, go…slow?"

"Agreed." He said softly taking her lips into his and kissing her, aware that she took the tube from him and after a few seconds he heard it fall to the ground his towel following suit. She kissed him, feeling his hands embrace her neck to deepen it and a moan massage her lips as she caressed his length with her hands coating him with the necessary aid for this particular night.

"Wow…that feels really different." He blushed.

"Yeah…your red face sort of told me that." She chuckled, "You like this?"

"Yeah." He breathed against her as she stroked him. She gasped feeling his finger stoke her softly.

He searched her, traced her valley intimately ensuring that her body was ready, ensuring that her body was protecting itself from another painful encounter. He laid her gently on the bed covering her with his body, warming her with his own warmth. He kissed the tattooed hand on her breast, caressed it with his mouth, "Liv?"

"Mmm?"

"Did a man really do this…did he see you?"

She giggled at his insecurity, at his jealousy and perhaps even his boyishness in the matter, "Relax." She whispered running her fingers over his short hair, "A woman did it and she covered me, except for the spot she needed to work on."

He shook his head softly and kissed her mouth, nipped at her bottom lip and sucked on it softly to dull the bite.

"Would it have bothered you if a man did it?" she asked softly feeling his fingers lightly tap the tattoo on her rib, it was something he'd taken to doing while he made love to her and she wasn't sure if he knew he was actually doing it.

"I would be jealous if another man got to see something this beautiful." He whispered over her breast, taking her nipple into his mouth and feeling her arch her back off of the mattress, he kissed her gently down her abdomen making his way to her navel and kissing it tenderly as he grazed her thighs and crawled backwards still further, until he ran his tongue from her navel to her clitoris, hearing her moan, determined to give her some sort of release tonight.

She raised her knees, expanded the cradle of her hips and reached down to caress the back of his head as he moved his tongue over her, sucking her softly, hearing her whimper at the contact, but understanding the whimper as encouragement, not protest. She balled the sheets in white knuckled fists and felt her thighs close in around him as he plummeted his tongue into her causing her to cover her face with a pillow as she climaxed.

He smiled, she was louder than normal even with the pillow, but when she finally relaxed and lowered her hand, leaving the pillow lazily over her face, he couldn't help but tease her, "Wow," he grinned taking the pillow away, "I really hope Sam didn't hear that."

"Shut up." She blushed.

"A little pent up frustration there?" he smiled kissing her, allowing her to taste her self in a delicate mixture of him self.

"All that foreplay." She blushed redder.

"Ah…thought you wanted foreplay?"

"Not to the point of frustration." She smiled, pulling him over her, sensing he was a little weary about making love to her, "I think I'm okay…you don't have to worry…I'll tell you if I can't."

Elliot drew a delicate line over her body down to her already sensitive spot and grazed her gently, she bucked against him, whimpered softly at the contact and smiled, "I want you."

He gently inserted a finger and carefully massaged her muscles, bringing not only a soothing relief to her uncooperative muscles but sending a flush heat through her body. Gently he inserted a second, watching, making sure she could handle it. He withdrew and rubbed him self delicately into her, "Tell me when you want to Liv."

"Now." She smiled up at him, "Please."

He inserted him self slowly, "Look at me." He encouraged her. He knew she would try to bare through it for his sake, and he was determined not to let that happen, "You tell me if it hurts." He whispered.

"Okay." She agreed.

He moved slightly deeper, watching her eyes dilate, she shifted her body to wrap a leg around him, "it's okay."

He moved deeper, holding himself back from simply plunging into her, but slowly, delicately, he was fully sheathed in her uniqueness. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head affirmatively and couldn't help her smile, "Yeah, you feel amazing…different."

"Really?" he smiled and moved slowly.

"Yeah," she whispered, "Amazing."

"Huh." He chuckled, "Have to use that lube more often."

She laughed softly and bucked against him, "Move."

"Anxious?" he smiled withdrawing and pushing in, still gentle.

"Shameless." She laughed wrapping her arms around his neck and feeling him move passionately inside of her. She arched clear off of the mattress, pushing on his shoulders as she lowered, "Amazing." She whispered.

"You said that." He smiled against her breast and caressed it delicately with his tongue.

"Yeah, well…" she gasped for air feeling him deeper inside of her, "amazing."

He laughed softly moving slightly faster, hearing her moan as she wrapped her arms tighter around him, he lifted her off of the bed and into his arms letting her straddle him, she bent backwards exposing her plain of flesh to him, her breast that beckoned his lips to come back to them, "Can I…"

"What?" she whispered feeling her body begin to tense as he thrust delicately within her.

"Can I," he blushed, "Can I give you a hickey?"

She chuckled, "You want to mark me?"

"Yeah." He whispered plunging deeper into her, forcing her to take in a ragged breath and hold on to his shoulders in an effort to not come alone. She suspected it had something to do with the tattoo, that just the thought of another man having _possibly_ seen her, made him want to repossess his territory.

"Yeah." She smiled, who knew he'd actually want to give her a hickey.

He confirmed her thinking when he'd marked her just next to the handprint, a sure sign that told anyone else that she was taken…as if she'd ever let anyone else near her. She smiled at the sensation then gripped him tighter when his lips met hers, "I can't hold on." She whispered, "Come with me."

He sped up, attempted to lay her down again to which she simply held onto him, he sat back up letting her move against his own thrusts until she began to tense, her body began to shake and as he plummeted further they found themselves crying out their releases in a kiss that they fought for control of one another but were forced to concede for air when their bodies finally collapsed.

"Amazing." She muttered as he laid down pulling her over him.

He smiled, "You said that."

"Yeah well…that was amazing." She grinned and kissed him delicately on the lips, "Thank you for being patient with me."

"What can I say," he teased, "I'm amazing."

She rolled her eyes and pulled the blankets over them both, "Well, Mr. Amazing," she smiled nuzzling closer to him and feeling his arms wrap around her, "Thank you just the same."

"Thank you." He whispered.

"For what?"

"Just…thank you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was sheer nervousness that woke her up, although she couldn't pin point what the nervousness was from, she suspected it was from the serious sensation of having to go to the restroom. She eyed the clock, made a mental note that it was entirely to early in the morning to use the restroom, but when her body screamed she obeyed. She slipped out of his arms and blindly made her way to the restroom…almost tripping over something at the foot of their bed.

"What the heck?" she muttered and then turned on the light to see Samuel sleeping on the floor with his blanket over him, she turned to see the bedroom door still open, it had been closed while they made love that she was sure of. She pulled on a shirt quickly and slipped into Elliot's boxers. She used the restroom hurriedly and returned to his sleeping form, shutting off the light so that Elliot could sleep.

"Honey." She called him into wakefulness softly, "Baby, wake up."

"Mom?" He whispered groggily.

She froze. _Did he just call me Mom_? "Honey, did you have a nightmare?"

"Yeah." He confessed, "I didn't want you to be upset…so I snuck in…are you mad?"

"No…but wouldn't you rather sleep in the bed than on the floor?" she whispered.

"No. Elliot and me made a deal, but maybe…maybe I can sleep here?"

Olivia smiled softly, "Sure."

"Thank you." He yawned and lowered his head to his pillow.

"Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No thank you." He whispered.

"Okay…when you're ready?"

"Yeah."

She ran her hand through his hair and kissed his forehead softly before slipping into bed with Elliot. It was only two hours later that she felt her body being shaken; she looked at the clock to see it read three fifteen in the morning. She winced, and then noticed Sam was the one shaking her, "Sam?"

"I'm scared." He whispered.

Olivia scooted over just a bit more and reached for him, "Come on honey, let's get you a drink of water." She stalled for time; she couldn't have him jump in bed with a naked Elliot. "Go ahead, I'll meet you in there."

She waited until she was sure Sam had left and then woke Elliot, "Elliot? Honey, I'm sorry to wake you but you've got to put some boxers on."

"Why?" he grumbled, "I like to be close to you."

"I know," She kissed him softly, "But Sam is scared and I told him he could sleep with us."

"Oh." He smiled, kissed her forehead gently and got out of the bed in a daze.

"I'll be right back." She assured him, "Go ahead, jump back in bed." She smiled, retreating to Sam.

"Hey buddy," she called to him softly as he stood patiently by the sink.

"Do you think I'll wet the bed if I drink?"

"I think you'll be okay, you haven't had an accident in a while…are you thirsty?"

"Not so much."

"Would you like to just go to bed?"

"Can I have a hug?"

She arched her brows in surprised, "Absolutely." She crouched down and embraced him warmly, "Want to tell me what's happening in that head of yours?"

"No." he whispered, "You won't like me."

"Sam," she held him tighter, "I love you…nothing you say will change that."

"I don't want to talk." He sniffled, "I'm tired."

"Okay." She conceded, "Sleep time?"

"Yeah."

She led him back to their room, and slid in next to Elliot only to find her self surprised when he crawled over her and wedged himself between both of them, "I'm scared." He whispered again.

"You don't have to be, because Elliot and I are both right here." She reminded him softly.

He snuggled into her and reached for Elliot's hand pulling it across him, "Elliot's stronger, huh?"

"Stronger?"

"Than the bad man?"

"What bad man, honey?"

"Than my daddy?"

"Yes, Baby, Elliot's stronger than your Daddy." She smiled, "Do you want to talk?" She asked again knowing something was bothering him and it was more than just simply being teased at school.

"No." he whispered, "Elliot's got me."

"Yeah," she smiled and rested her hand on him, "So, do I."

"Night Olivia."

"Night Sam."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She opened her eyes that burned the minute air hit them, four fifteen, that's what time it was, she was just about to growl in frustration when she realized it was Sam that had woken her up again.

"What's wrong honey? Why aren't you asleep?"

"I'm ready to talk now."

A/N: There is actually a second part to this chapter, that leads into the end of this sequel, I couldn't combine the two cause it would have been a nightmare to read…too long. It's coming though. Just didn't want you guys to think I forgot about ya. LOL PEACE.


	29. Chapter 29 When The Door Opens

Divided We Fall

Chapter 29: When The Door Opened

Olivia looked at the young boy lying next to her and smiled softly, "I'm very glad you want to talk Sam," She whispered, "How about we go to the kitchen for some chocolate?"

"Okay." He whispered taking her hand as she helped him out of the bed, "I'm sorry I woke you up so much, Olivia." He confided as they walked to the kitchen.

"Sam," She smiled pulling a chair out for him to sit in, "do you remember the deal I made with you that no matter what time it is or what we're doing we'll always stop to hear what you have to say?"

"Yes…even when you're sleeping." He finished the sentence.

"Yep, even when we're sleeping." She smiled, "Would you like regular chocolate or cinnamon?"

"No thank you." He whispered bowing his head.

"No thank you?" She smiled at his indecisiveness, "What would make you comfortable? What can I do to help you Sam?" she asked softly seeing that he was visibly shaking.

A steady stream of tears ran down his cheek, "I don't know." He choked out wiping his nose and face with the back of his hand.

Olivia took his hand, "Come with me Sam, let me hold you, how's that?" she asked. When he slid out of the kitchen chair and followed her to the couch she took that as his answer. She sat softly, "Climb on up, Buddy." She encouraged him, helping him snuggle into her embrace.

He made no effort to talk to her but his small body shook in her arms, his hands grasped for her hands, she decided she would start a conversation, but that he would have to start any conversation that pertained to what he needed to speak of.

"Sam," she kissed his forehead softly, "What was the vocabulary word Elliot gave you this week?"

"Victor." He smiled.

"Definition?" She asked, knowing that this game had become a favorite of his, to be able to learn new words made him feel both adult and intelligent, they of course hid the fact that his teacher suggested it because he was farther behind the other students.

"Some one who wins an enemy."

"Words that mean the same?"

"Umm…defeater and…master."

"Words that mean different?" she asked impressed with his ability to remember, and shocked that he liked this type of game.

"Loser…and…um…vanked?" he furrowed his brows.

"Close, it's vanquished."

"Yeah." He smiled softly, "Elliot told me that…it's a hard word."

"You did so good, would you like a word for next week?"

"Yes, please." He trained his ear waiting expectantly.

"How about…conquer…con-qu-er…conquer." She repeated knowing that he needed the repetition at first but he'd master it quickly.

"Conquer." He mulled the pronunciation over in his mind, "Got it."

"Okay," she smiled and held him close waiting for him to make the next move. After waiting in silence for several minutes she thought he'd decided not to speak about what was bothering him, she was just about to suggest they both return to bed when he grabbed her tighter.

"Am I a bad boy, Olivia?"

"No…absolutely not." She said simply, softly, "Can you tell me why you think that?"

"Daddy said I wasn't good and that was why he had to hurt me." He whispered.

"Your daddy is wrong Sam." She assured him, "Your daddy hurt you because he is sick and needs special doctors, he did a bad thing Sam…he did a bad thing _to you_…but _your_ not bad." She told him softly, "You're a special boy, who makes me smile, who makes Elliot laugh and who is very handsome."

Sam rested his head on her shoulder in silence indicating he was either done with the conversation or digesting her words. She stroked his back gently waiting to follow his lead. After two, perhaps three minutes, he spoke again.

"Why didn't my mommy save me?"

Olivia closed her eyes thankful he couldn't see her falling tears, "I don't know sweetie, I think, maybe your mommy was scared of your daddy."

"But…"

"What?" She asked softly, "It's okay, you can tell me what ever you're thinking."

"How come grandpa hurt me…how come _grandma _didn't help me…how come they didn't like me?" he asked wrapping his arms tightly around her neck.

She had no idea this conversation would be so difficult, "Sometimes Sam, when people are so sick, when people aren't who their born to be…sometimes they don't have room for love and they can't show it."

"But…but, I never feel good…and I loved _them_."

She paused. Took in what he'd just said. An unintentional confession of how he truly felt. "Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you a question…will you be honest with me…it might hurt." She warned him.

"I love you." He told her almost as if that simple fact conveyed that he would do anything for her…even hurt.

"You said you never feel good…can you tell me what that means? Can you tell me how you feel?" she asked softly.

"Scared."

"All the time?"

"No…when you and Elliot are talking…I'm not scared."

"Talking?"

"Yeah…I don't like the quiet…bad things happen to boys during nap time, when it's quiet."

"Did your daddy hurt you when it was nap time?"

He pulled himself closer to her, "Yeah…when the others were sleeping."

"Sam, I'm really sorry that we tried to put you in the bathtub." She confessed hoping he would shed some light on what happened.

"The boys don't like me at school." He sighed refusing to acknowledge her statement.

"Why do you think that?" she asked feeling her heart break.

"They tease me…take my cane…mix up my food on my lunch tray." He confessed.

"Is that what happened…is that why you we're upset when we picked you up?"

He swallowed hard, shivered in her embrace, "Yeah."

She reached behind her, grabbed the blanket and straightened it over his body allowing him to cuddle into the warmth of her and the comfort of the blanket, "What did you do?"

"I went to Alex's room and she shared her lunch with me…I remembered my please and thank you's."

"That's because you're a good boy." She smiled and tried to wipe her own tears.

"No I'm not." He exhaled, "Can't make a devil go good."

"Who said you we're a devil?"

"Grandma."

"Grandma, is wrong!" she told him firmly, then smiled, "Elliot showed me something that made me smile the other day…can I tell you?"

"Will it make me smile?"

"It will."

"Ok."

"He showed me a verse from his bible that said before we were made God knew us and he created us while we we're still in our mommy's tummies…your God's baby Sam…your Grandma was wrong."

"I'm God's baby?"

"Yep…me too." She smiled at her own confession, at how seemingly peaceful it felt to say it…to accept it even though she herself didn't understand it.

"Olivia?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Do you ever wish…that God _didn't_ make you?" he asked sadly making a confession through a question.

"Sometimes…I use to, but you know what?"

"What?"

"I'm so happy now that I wouldn't trade my life with anyone."

"Not even Don 'the dragon' Wilson?"

"Not even 'The dragon'." She smiled, she'd made one reference to her favorite kick boxer and he remembered it…she smiled betting herself that Elliot wouldn't even be able to pull that one out of his ear.

"Olivia?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Elliot mad about the bubble bath?"

"Nope…remember he talked to you and tied your tie, he's not upset."

"Can I tell you a secret Olivia?"

"Yes."

Sam rested his hand on her cheek and whispered, "Elliot can't tie a tie real good."

She chuckled softly, "I know…believe me, I know."

"I don't like…" he stopped and grabbed her shirt as if expressing a dislike was against the rules.

"It's okay, you can tell me anything you need to say."

"I don't like…the water so much…I can breath good in showers…not so much in the water though."

"In the bathtub?"

"Yeah, and when I'm bad they put me in the deep end without my floaters."

She furrowed her brow, mulled over his confession, "Honey, you don't like bath tubs or swimming pools?"

"Both."

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and wondered what exactly had happened to the little boy she held, "Did you go to the bottom of the pool Sam?"

"I can't swim and the water makes me not breath real good."

They tried to drown him.

"But you don't drown in the tub?" she asked for clarification.

"The water burns me and the doctor told me I was a lucky boy that only a little bit of my breathers don't work now." He said pointing to his chest, indicating there had been some type of damage done to his lungs.

They scalded him.

"Sam?"

"I'm not tattling, please don't be mad." He cried softly.

Olivia ran her hands through his short hair, "I love you, I'm not upset in anyway, I need to ask you something."

"What?" he sniffled.

"Why do you think I won't like you? What was the dream you had?" She asked wondering exactly how he dreamed. Could he see? Was it all feeling? And if it was, how did he know when he was awake…how did he know it wasn't his abuser still touching him when she tried to wake him. She closed her eyes and pulled him tight the vomit rising in her throat.

"Because…because." He hiccupped and sobbed into her shoulder.

"I love you, I adore you, and you're handsome." She whispered trying to sooth him, "I love that you are brave…I love that you called me mom…I love that I get to take you to school…I love that I get to cook dinner for you and help you with your homework…I love you Sam." She assured him as he started to calm and loosen his grip on her body. "It's okay to tell me Sam."

"Because," he started to cry again, "In my sleep…I do bad things with daddy and grandpa."

And so the title wave crashes into her heart as she sees his innocence shattered right in front of her in her arms, "I want you to listen to me Samuel." She whispered into his ear, "I want you to know that dreams don't mean that it's something you _want_ to do, or something you have control over, I have lots of dreams that are so scary…but when I wake up I know they aren't real." She told him softly.

"They _feel_ real." He protested.

"Yes," She agreed, "Those are the really scary ones, aren't they?"

"Yeah…they make me real scared." He confessed.

"That's when I tell Elliot my dreams." She confessed.

"What does he do?"

"He holds me."

"Your too big to hold." He chuckled softly.

"Yes…but even us big people need to know that we're loved, and that it's okay to be afraid because someone will protect us."

"You'll protect me?"

"Always…so will Elliot." She assured him.

He sat in her arms for several minutes as she stroked his back, rocked him gently until he spoke again, "I'm tired Olivia."

"Would you like to sleep next to Elliot?"

"I think I can sleep in my big boy bed."

"Okay." She smiled letting him crawl off of her lap, she hoped he was done for the night because she wasn't sure she could possibly hear anymore. She walked with him and realized one fascinating thing about him that she hadn't realized before, when he moved through the house, he flipped the lights on…for her, he knew she would need them. She smiled, touched by his concern for her.

"Jump in, my little man." She encouraged him pulling the sheet back for him to slide in.

He slid in, cheeks still moist. She sat on the edge of the bed and wiped his tear with the line of her knuckles. She lowered herself to him and kissed him gently on the forehead and retreated to his closet to retrieve and spare blanket. She covered him, tucked him in tightly. "Good night Samuel."

"Olivia?" he called for her, slightly alarmed as he grasped the air for her wrist.

"What is it?" she asked sitting next to him.

"Will I grow up to be bad?"

He was her when she was that age. She took a deep breath, "Elliot and I love you so much, and if you try to listen to the things we teach you, then you'll do absolutely great…it doesn't matter who your daddy is." And it finally clicked within her own soul…it truly didn't matter.

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep…that's when its scary." He told her.

"Scoot over." She smiled softly and laid next to him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot listened with misted eyes though the baby monitor in the bedroom. Sam went everywhere with it, and used it more like a walkie talkie in the house than a monitor. But what Elliot was hearing right now, the precious communication between a boy he would love to call son, and his wife, made his heart smile, brought a macho man…to his knees.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Would you like me to read you a story?" She asked softly.

"Can you sing me a song?" he asked a hint of hope in his voice.

"A song? You mean a lullaby?"

"No…a song…I'm too old for a baby lullaby."

"Well, that's good," She smiled, "Cause I don't really know a lullaby." She confessed, although she did know the sunshine one, but it simply felt wrong to sing it over Sam…she felt like she was betraying Isaac.

"The one from church?" he asked with the same hope.

"Really?" She chuckled, "That's old time stuff." She smiled and kissed his cheek singing softly in his ear, "I will change your name, you shall no longer be called…wounded…outcast…lonely or afraid…I will change your name…your new name shall be…confidence…joyfulness…overcoming one…faithfulness…friend of God…one who seeks his face."

She thought she might have had to repeat it but his hand fell limp, a small smile on his face, his breathing steady, he'd fallen asleep. She smiled, kissed him goodnight and walked out of his room. Perhaps, God wasn't turning his back on them. Perhaps he'd just shown him self in the small boy he'd blessed them with.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia looked at the clock as she walked back into the master bedroom, she would be tired tomorrow. She pulled back the comforter and slid into the now cool sheets, nuzzling next to her husband who took her into his arms and held her. "You okay?"

She exhaled, cried softly, "No…no I'm not."

He kissed her forehead gently, "He got a lot out?"

"I think so." She nodded, "There's a lot there." She exhaled.

"Painful?"

"Excruciating." She sobbed nuzzling closer to him, wanting him to share this huge burden of knowledge with her. Wanting to tell him that the conversation she just had with an eight-year-old boy and just exposed her own wounds, rubbed her painfully raw…hurt her.

He understood. He stroked her hair lightly and began to sing softly in her ear, "I will change your name…you shall no longer be called wounded…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey Sam?" Olivia smiled slipping a sandwich into a zip lock bag and putting it into the rest of his lunch in a paper sack.

"Yes?"

"No more lunch trays, okay?" she smiled softly at the small boy who was gathering up his homework and putting it in his backpack.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I think you're old enough to take your own lunch." She crouched next to him and handed him the bag, "Ham sandwich no mayo, a chocolate muffin and a juice."

"Really?"

"Yeah…really." She said softly, "If they still bother you, you can eat with Alex right?"

"Yeah, she's nice." He agreed putting the bag in his backpack.

Elliot watched, apparently it was something of an inside knowledge he wasn't privy to yet, but he knew she would confide in him later. "Sam." Elliot smiled, "What's the game plan today? Do you remember?"

Sam sat at the kitchen table, "You and Olivia are going to drop me off at school, then go to work, Alex has your phone numbers and so does my teacher."

"What else?"

"Mrs. Reynoso will pick me up from school and take me to the center so I can work on my brail, and you or Elliot will call me at four forty-five to tell me if your day is going to be really long or if you'll be able to pick me up from Mrs. Reynoso's.

"And if we can't pick you up?" Olivia asked, knowing he already knew the game plan, how could he not, they'd drilled it into his head for the last three weeks preparing him for when they would have to return to work.

"If you can't pick me up, Robert or Alex will unless you tell me different."

"And the word they have to use?" Elliot asked softly making sure he remembered the code word.

"Peace."

Olivia smiled.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey, don't forget your cane young man." Olivia smiled grabbing it from the back seat and handing it to Sam, "Hey, we almost forgot to tell you something important."

"Words that mean the same?" he asked.

She furrowed her brow and looked at Elliot who was equally confused but then suddenly understood, "Did Olivia give you a new word?"

"Conquer." He smiled.

"Okay, how about a definition first?" Olivia smiled crouching in front of him, "To be a master over difficulties…got it?"

He repeated it and smiled.

"Okay, now, if you call us and we're at work we're gonna answer the phone a little different than your use to…Elliot will say 'Stabler'…and I'll say 'Benson'." She explained and then saw his confusion.

"Why?"

"Because that's what our boss wants."

"No, why can't _you_ say Stabler?"

"Because that's what they called me before I married Elliot." She smiled at his curiosity.

"But your Olivia _Stabler_."

"Yep." She proudly agreed, "I'm Olivia Stabler, but they still call me Benson at work."

"But…when do I…" His voice trailed off and Elliot crouched next to Olivia.

"It's okay, Sam, we know who Olivia is."

"But…what if I…"

"What is it?" Elliot asked softly, "It's okay to tell us."

"Does this mean _I_ can't be Stabler?"

Elliot and Olivia looked at one another is shock, he was young, but he understood certain things, he understood that when Olivia married Elliot they became a family…with the same name. "Do you want to be a Stabler?" Elliot asked feeling a little silly with his question, but entirely proud that not only had his wife chosen to take his last name, but here was a young man asking to take it.

"Samuel Stabler." The little boy grinned, speaking the name as if he'd been practicing it as hard as his vocabulary words.

"Well Samuel Stabler," Olivia grinned, "You'd better get to class, the bell is gonna ring and Alex is waiting for you."

Sam grinned and hugged Elliot good-bye.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They sat in silence in front of the station house looking, watching as if they we're tourists.

"Are you ready for this?" Elliot asked covering her hand with his.

"I don't know…are you?"

"I don't know." He confessed, "Have you…given thought to Cragen and the Morris Commission."

She turned to him, "Elliot," She spoke softly, "I can't do it, I'll support whatever decision you make, but I'm not going."

"Then either am I." He assured her, "We're a team, we do it together or we don't do it."

"Will you at least sit in on it…tell me what happens?" she asked softly.

"I think I can do that." He assured her, "But think about it some more."

"I'm not doing it." She reiterated.

"Okay." He nodded and changed the subject, "Are you feeling any better? I know last night was…uncomfortable at times." He tried to speak understandingly.

"I made an appointment for this afternoon…I think that when you go to the morris commission I should be finishing up at the doctors." She informed him.

"I can go with you?"

"Na, it'll be fine, they'll poke and prod, tell me maybe I'll need a minor surgery."

"What!" he screeched.

"Relax…it would be just to break up the scar tissue." She assured him squeezing his hand.

He exhaled, "Think they've replaced Munch yet?"

"Na…I think they'll wait a bit."

"We should go in."

"Yep."

Neither moved.

"People are going to whisper." Olivia informed him as if he didn't already take it into consideration, "They'll talk about us like we're not even there."

"I know." He rested his chin on her shoulder, "But we're strong, we'll get though it and we'll be the team on top." He assured her.

"Our objective has changed…it's not solely about the victim once we get in there is it?" She asked.

"Nope…it's about Isaac…and if we have to jump through hoops we will, but the main objective is Isaac."

"Alright then," She exhaled, "Lets get today over with."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Oh, nice grouping." Olivia smiled as Elliot held up his paper target.

"Can we put it on the fridge?" he asked boyishly pointing to the paper that had most shots on the green figure but they were sporadic, he always had trouble with the glock, she'd warned them they had too much of a recoil but he said they were much manlier than a baretta.

"Only if we can put it next to this." She grinned pulling her target sheet off the hook.

"Wow…you pissed off or something?" He teased, "Great grouping…but your suppose to aim for the largest mass."

"I thought we we're taught to 'shot to stop'?" She smiled and pointed to the head of the figure, "I think nine bullets to the head, will stop him."

"Yeah," he nodded with a smiled, "I think it would too."

"So," She chuckled, "Think they'll re certify us?"

"I think they'll re certify _me_." He said playfully as he poked through the annihilated head of her target, "but I think they'll _commit_ you."

She laughed, "Shut up."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey…holy hell, you two do exist." Fin laughed finally walking into the bullpen.

"We exist?" Olivia grinned, "And just where were you? I was at least expecting coffee and a welcome back doughnut." She teased standing to her feet and hugging him.

"Yeah, well, I though about it, but…got a case, just got in, sorry."

"No big…who's running this place and what did you catch?" Elliot asked.

"For now, this units higher echelon is _us_, and some pencil pusher from the upper East Side, available via telephone…and to answer your last question…Necrophilia at the mortuary."

"Okay…I've heard enough." Olivia winced, "That's just plain gross."

"Yeah well, I had to talk to him." Fin smacked his lips, "I think I'll go shower now."

"Hey wait," Elliot sat up, "You know about Munch?"

"Yeah…I thought that whole Angelina Jolie thing was a little odd." He smirked, "Figures he'd retire with a mound of paperwork on his desk…ass."

Elliot smiled at Olivia both knowing Fin must not have known the whole story.

"Oh Crap!" Olivia suddenly stood, "Shoot, I'm late." She rolled her eyes.

"For what?" Fin furrowed his brow.

"Doctor's appointment." She answered hurriedly, "Elliot, you taking the car or cab to the commission?"

"Your really not going?" He asked again.

"Not sure what part of no you don't understand." She looked at him pleadingly, "Car or Cab?"

"Cab." He mumbled.

"Alright, cya in a few hours, love you…be careful." She kissed him chastely on the lips and turned to leave.

"Hey, where's mine." Fin called back.

Olivia glanced over her shoulder, "Have Elliot give you one."

"LIV!" both men called out in shock.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hi, I'm here to see Dr. Nancial." Olivia smiled or at least tried to as the nurse handed her a clipboard. Shed wanted to tell Elliot she was scared of this appointment, scared of what they would find, scared of having a surgery, that could do more damage than good.

She sat slowly and began to fill out the papers, her leg tapping rapidly up and down as she chewed her bottom lip, her cell phone's ring saved her from the paperwork.

"Benson."

"Olivia?"

"Sam," She felt her smile return, "how are you?"

"Are you okay Olivia?" he asked softly, "I got nervous for you at lunch."

"I'm good sweetie, how was lunch, did they bother you?"

"No, but I still sat with Alex, she's more fun."

Olivia turned her head a door open, "Olivia Stabler?"

"Sam, honey I have to go, are you okay?"

"Yes, I just wanted to hear you." He confessed.

"Okay, I'll call in a couple of hours."

"Bye."

"Bye, Baby." She smiled, pocketed the phone and handed the clipboard to the nurse.

"Kid?" The young woman smiled.

Olivia grinned, "How'd you know?"

"Most moms get that big grin on their face when they talk to their kids." She chuckled and led her into a room.

_Mom_.

"Go ahead and put on this oppressive piece of material they call a hospital gown," The nurse smiled, "The doctor will be in shortly." She gave a small bow of the head and walked out.

Olivia liked her humor.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Captain Donald Cragen of the One Six?" The lead speaker from the Morris Commission was already calling Cragen out when Elliot walked in.

Cragen stood, in full dress and approached the podium, "Captain Donald Cragen of the One Six reporting as ordered, Sir."

"Very well," The man looked over Cragen's shoulder.

"Chief Carlos Serna of The NYPD?"

Serna stood to his feet, one arm in a cast and secured with a sling as he made his way to a podium opposite Cragen and gave his own salutation.

"Very well, it says here Capt. Cragen formally released a public statement accusing Chief Serna of conduct unbecoming an offi-"

Cragen cleared his throat, "I accuse him and placed him on report for covering up the death of an infant that was the son of fellow officer's."

"Point taken Captain…but you will speak when spoken to at my commission understand?"

"Yes sir, my apologies." Cragen blushed in anger.

"Very well, Captain, do you have proof of this set up?"

Cragen turned around to the audience of onlookers, the sea of blue; he saw Elliot…and the empty space next to him. Elliot shook her head indicating they couldn't help.

Cragen swallowed hard, turned back to face the board members, "No, Sir, I do not."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So what brings you to me Mrs. Stabler?" The young OBGYN smiled softly and flipped through her charts. Olivia explained her story of the laceration, leaving out the rape, letting the doctor draw her own conclusions; she gave her the two percent mumble jumble and then blushed a bright red.

"Hey," The doctor covered her hand, "what ever it is, it's strictly between me and you."

"Um," Olivia chewed her lower lip and rubbed the back of her neck, "last night my husband and I were making love and…it was border line excruciating." She confessed, "We finally managed after two attempts but, I'm a little concerned about the scar tissue."

"Okay." The doctor smiled adjusting latex gloves on her hands, "Well, painful intercourse can be caused by everything from stress, to scar tissue, to STD's."

Olivia arched her brow; she could at least rule one culprit out.

"Go ahead and lay back, and we'll take a peek."

_Why do OBGYN's always say 'we'll take a peek'?_ She rolled her eyes lying back on the table, '_Sounds so stupid.'_

"You said you finally managed…what do you think changed?" the doctor asked placing a lubricant on her gloved finger.

"Um…we used a lubricant, we don't normally, and he sort of…" _oh just friggin say it Olivia_, She scolded herself, wanting him here right now with her, she didn't want to hear the results alone, "he sort of massaged me right at the opening and then went _very_ slow." She reiterated the word _very_ to tell the doctor to be gentle without actually saying so.

"Okay, do you feel this?"

"No."

"What abou-"

"SONOVA-" She sucked in a deep breath and covered her eyes with her forearm.

"Did that hurt?"

Olivia rolled her eyes, "I'm gonna go ahead and say yes." She replied sarcastically as she tried to get her breathing in order.

"Alright, Olivia, I'm going to try to do the same thing your husband did so I can finish the exam."

"Alright…just, please get this over with."

The doctor moved quickly, softly and as delicately as possible and while there were times when Olivia desperately wanted to reach out and grasp for Elliot's hand she simply rubbed her hands over her face, overwhelmed with the pings of pain…and then it was over.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You placed the senior board member of the Morris Commission on report…without evidence?" The speaker peered over his glasses.

"Yes, Sir I did." Cragen admitted and could have sworn he heard the sound of his career being flushed down the tubes.

"Very well, Captain," The speaker shook his head, "Without evidence, you've forced me to do the only thing I can do."

Cragen took in a breath watching the speaker pick up his gavel; in a split second he would relieve Cragen of his command. He watched as the gavel came down, and then suddenly stopped when the door opened.

A/N: The song isn't mine, and there are actually maybe one or two more chaps to his...sorry to mislead. Enjoy


	30. Chapter 30 Tripod

Divided We Fall

Chapter 30 Tripod

It's been said that if you're quiet enough you can hear the echo of a breath. Captain Cragen heard the drum roll of his breath, mixed with the deafening thud of his heart just before it stopped beating as the gavel hung in the air. The speaker, the man that wielded the power to destroy Cragen watched as a plain clothes officer walked down the aisle, all eyes starring, all mouths agape, that the officer would have the audacity to interrupt a Morris Commission proceeding.

"Can I help you?" The head of the Commission asked, setting his gavel down for the time being.

"I'm here on behalf of Captain Donald Cragen of the One-Six." The officer informed the court slightly out of breath.

"I see, and did you forget your dress uniform, or do you think I appreciate you walking into these proceedings dressed as if you were hear to watch a football game?"

"My apologies to the Commission the plain clothes officer said with a slight bow of the head, I had a matter that I was forced to tend to before I could be here."

The gavel tapping man shook his head in irritation, "Well, I'm sorry officer, but unless you have evidence to support Captain Cragen's accusation, I'm forced to dismiss him." He informed the officer picking up his gavel again.

"I do, Sir."

"Excuse me?" He lowered the gavel and looked at the officer.

"I have evidence that suggest that Chief Serna of the NYPD did, in fact, cover up an infant's death."

"Please approach the podium." He motioned for the officer.

Chief Serna Stared in abject horror.

Elliot smiled at the scene before him.

Cragen nearly pissed himself.

"Please state your name and rank for the record."

The officer turned to stare directly at Chief Serna. Pulling out a small device and smiling with revenge, "My name is Detective Olivia Benson assigned to the One-six, I'm providing evidence to this commission that Chief Serna did knowingly and willingly cover up the death of an infant by the name of Isaac Reagen Stabler…my son." She pressed the play button and watched as Chief Serna's world and everything he knew became distant.

The room full of onlookers and fellow cops gasped in shock as the recorder played the confession of a man guilty of betraying not only the innocence of a young child, but the faith of his crew and the sacredness of his own shield.

Elliot watched Serna carefully, his movements into his jacket, making him increasingly more and more nervous as the tape played. He thought perhaps the Chief was situating his arm in the sling, but when he saw the steel he stood up quickly.

"Olivia watch out!" he barked drawing his weapon only to see his wife staring down the barrel of a civilian issued revolver. Every uniformed officer snapped into mode, weapons drawn, orders being shouted, some to clear the room, others to force the chief to drop his weapon. The recorder kept playing, and it was in that second that Elliot saw it in her eyes.

She didn't care.

She blinked only once and took a step towards Serna.

"Olivia!" Elliot barked, "Keep back!"

"Are you going to shoot me Chief?" She asked coldly, staring past the gun and straight into his eyes.

"Your nothing but a bitch with a shield." He growled at her as other officers stealthy moved into position.

She smirked, "I suppose I could say the same thing about you."

"I'll shoot you."

"No you wont." She informed him…challenged him…dared him.

He pulled the hammer back, "Your dumber than you look detective."

She casually took a step closer, "My husband would disagree with you." She informed him dryly and then it suddenly hit her.

My husband.

Sam.

New Life.

Isaac.

She eyed his finger, a sudden shot of adrenaline and fear chasing through her and then her reflexes took over, in one swift motion, just as Elliot seemed to have dropped something causing Serna to look away…she pounced.

Moving quickly grabbing his gun wielding wrist and punching square into his already separated shoulder he stumbled back. She pulled him to her by his wrist turning his arm in back of him so that the barrel of his weapon was shoved into his kidneys, she held her free hand over his neck cutting off circulation and whispering a private monologue between the two of them.

"Who's dumb now, bitch?" she shoved the barrel harder into him watching as Elliot retrieved his cuffs.

"Maybe my grace is a weakness," she whispered quickly, "maybe I should shoot you right here."

Elliot didn't rush, there were too many guns still drawn and he knew exactly what she was doing, a mother's rage knew no bounds.

"That taste in the back of your throat," She whispered calmly, almost intimately into his ear, "it's fear…it's the same taste my son probably had when he was taken from his crib…I want you to remember that taste while you rot in prison." She told him, finally lowering the hammer of the weapon and turning him over to be handcuffed by Elliot and a uniform that had to use a flex cuff do to the chiefs already broken arm.

The man who once waved the gavel, seeking to destroy Cragen, finally spoke up, "Detective Stabler?" he barked, "I want Mr. Serna arrested immediately." He turned to Cragen, "Your dismissed, free to keep your bars Don…unless you want an official board hearing to reinstate you?"

"No, Sir." Cragen shook his head, "I'm happy how it is."

"Very well," he shook Don's hand and turned to see that a uniformed officer had taken the weapon from Olivia and that Serna was finally cuffed.

Cragen watched as Olivia walked to the former chief standing directly in front of him, she stared at him intently, watching the evilness swim in his eyes as he glared back at her. She raised her arm slowly, never breaking eye contact with him and ripped the chiefs shield off of his chest.

Olivia stared at him, holding the shield in her hand and leaning in to whisper in his ear, "Do not ever mistake my grace for a weakness…your alive…because I _let_ you live." She stepped back and looked at a suddenly pale chief as officers ushered him away.

"I thank you Detective." The gavel weilder shook her hand.

She stared at him, a flurry of emotion ripping through her, irritation with the system, rage for the perpetrator, love for a family she could have just lost, she placed the shield in his hand, "Don't thank me…make sure this never happens again." She said looking directly at him, conveying a silent message to him that betraying a fellow cop was an abomination.

"Come on Liv." Elliot spoke to her softly, "Let's go back to the station."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Nerves?" Elliot asked standing outside of the bathroom stall.

"Something like that." She moaned as her body heaved again. If it weren't for the urine she was sure was on the floor she would lye down on the cool tile just to settle the nausea that was invading her system.

"Well, if it means anything…first day back on the job and we managed to score the rest of the week off."

"What!" she barked but then heaved again, she rested her head on her forearm and scolded herself for that second bowl of oatmeal she ate.

"Yep." He laughed, "Looks like you and I can spend some time alone starting tomorrow."

"NO!" She barked opening the door to the stall and looking at him.

"No?" He furrowed his brow.

"No." She folded her arms then stalked to the sink rinsing her mouth.

"Liv…should I take that personally?"

"What?" She wiped the excess water from her mouth and realized what she must of sounded like.

"Oh, no." She shook her head and smiled softly opening her hand, "Gum?"

"Yeah." He chuckled extending a piece to her, "I swear you go through a lot of gum."

"Yeah." She agreed hastily, "Look, El, I didn't mean it like that, I just meant…well…I wanted to pull Isaac's case file from the records burrow."

He smiled softly, "Liv," he pushed her hair behind her ear, "I already asked that it be pulled, it's due here on Wednesday…Casey is bringing it to the house."

She exhaled softly and rested her forehead on his, "I want to find him." She whispered.

"I know." He assured her caressing her cheek, "We will." He stroked her back softly, "I thought I might loose you today, Liv."

"I'm sorry." She whispered resting her hands on his hips.

"Why did you do something so brash?" He said almost scolding her but she understood he was simply scared that he'd almost lost his wife.

She looked at his misty eyes and covered his hand with hers before placing it on her chest, "I wore a vest, I had to go home for the recorder and I got a bad feeling so I put the vest on and your sweater over it…I'm sorry I scared you."

A lone tear fell from his eye, "He could have shot you in the head, Liv."

"Elliot," She smiled, "You and I both now cops are trained to shoot at the largest mass…he would have aimed for my chest…my heart…he's a coward, he wouldn't have done it." She whispered.

He pulled her close, hugged her tightly, "I swear if you ever scare that crap out of me like that again."

"You'll what?" she sniffled trying to tease but choking with her own emotion.

He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes, "My heart wouldn't be able to handle it."

Moments passed as they held each other, both knowing they could have lost ever having the pleasure of making love to the other, of playing with Sam, of their friendly banter, they knew it was close and so they held each other closer.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna puke."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Did the ice cream hurt your tummy?" Elliot asked Sam who was currently moving his fork here and there on the plate.

"No." he said shortly, as he lowered his fork.

"Something on your mind, Sam?" Olivia asked taking a sip of her Iced Tea.

"No." he said, a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Remember Sam," Elliot smiled, "All we ever want you to do is tell the truth okay?"

"Yes." He mumbled lowering his head.

"What is it baby?" Olivia asked again, "Did the boys bother you today?"

"No."

"Did you forget a silent 'E' again?"

"No."

"Sweet Pea," She smiled, "You've got to tell us what's bothering you, we're not really good at reading your mind, honey."

"I talked to Alex today." He finally started a confession.

"Did you have fun talking to Alex?" Elliot asked taking a bite of broccoli.

"I always have fun with Alex." He informed them, "But today, she said I have to ask you guys for something if I want it." He shifted nervously in his seat.

"Okay," Elliot smiled at Olivia, "Liv and I are all ears buddy, ask away."

"Little boys shouldn't ask for things." He muttered, "Daddy's hurt little boys who ask for things."

"Sam," Elliot scooted his chair back, "Come here buddy, sit on my lap for a second."

Sam froze, "Is it okay Olivia?"

"Absolutely buddy, it's always okay to sit on Elliot's lap without asking." She informed him and watched as he slowly slipped out of his chair and walked towards Elliot's voice, crawling up on his lap and resting his head on his shoulder.

"Let me tell you a secret Sam." Elliot said holding him close, "You are my son." He whispered softly stoking his back as Olivia watched forcing herself not to cry at the scene before her.

"I am your father." Elliot whispered, "You do not ever have to be scared of me, I will never hurt you, I will never make you feel like a bad boy." He assured the youngster as he held him. "I will love you, I'll show you how to be a strong boy…but only if you let me."

Sam exhaled a breath that made Olivia wonder how long he'd been holding it…a year? Since birth? She wiped a tear and smiled at Elliot as Sam hugged him tightly and whispered, "Can I have a puppy?"

Elliot grinned, hugging him back and sitting him on his lap so Olivia could see his face when they answered him, "Well, Liv, what do you think? Can Sam have a puppy?"

"Well," She grinned and covered Sam's hand, "Do you want a dog that helps you…is that want you want honey?"

"No." he shook his head with a smile, "My cane helps me…I want a puppy that will sleep with me and make me not lonely, I want a puppy that I can play with." He informed them.

"Well, then," Olivia grinned looking at Elliot, "Looks like we're going to the humane society tomorrow huh?"

"What's the humane society?" Sam furrowed his brow, "I want a puppy not a human." He informed her innocently as he turned to speak to Elliot, "Elliot, I want a puppy not a human…tell her Elliot, I don't want a human." He said urgently.

Olivia laughed, "No sweetie, the humane society is where they keep dogs that don't have homes or that people don't want…its good to get puppies from the them, because you save them."

"No one wants puppies?"

"Sometimes." She said softly.

Sam chewed his bottom lip and Olivia wondered if it was possible he could have gotten that from her, without even knowing that she did that. He rest his head back on Elliot's chest, "No one wanted me."

"Not true." Olivia countered immediately, "We did."

"You saved me." Sam smiled, "I can save a puppy."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia slid into the bed and wormed her way closer to Elliot's body covering his hands that rested possessively on her abdomen. "I love you." He whispered into her ear.

"I love you too." She reached back and touched his face softly.

"Can you tell me what the doctor said?" He asked softly.

Olivia turned in his embrace and searched his face. She wouldn't tell him the whole diagnoses tonight but she would tell him what she could, "Apparently, the doc says I'm stressed."

"Really?" He furrowed his brow, "Has there been something bothering you?"

She exhaled tracing his abdomen with her fingers, "No…yes…no not really," She shook her head. The truth of the matter was that her dreams were killing her, but then there were the smaller things too, "I think that the last few months have just sort of caught up with me and I was a little nervous about going back to work…after a year…no Munch…possibility of no Cragen."

He brushed her bangs away, kissed her forehead, "I'm listening."

"The Doctor says that the scar tissue hasn't gotten out of control and that my PC muscles were being uncooperative." She smiled softly at the notion.

"Uncooperative?" he smirked.

"Her words, not mine." Olivia smiled.

He searched her smile and saw something hidden, "What else?"

She stalled and then lied, "That's all…she said I was just stressed and needed to calm myself down so my muscles don't freak out on me."

Elliot smiled playfully, "And what did this doctor recommend?"

Olivia nuzzled closer and grinned, "Well, she said massaging the muscles before hand seems to do the trick."

"Really?" he grinned making a trail from her chest down her abdomen and into her panties.

She moaned at the contact burring her face into his shoulder, "Elliot, what are you doing?" she muttered pulling him closer to her.

"Well," he whispered, "I thought I could give you a massage."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Olivia!" Sam screeched from the living room.

She ran to him with Elliot on her tail to see him standing in the living room fighting with a tie. "What is it Sam?" she asked with a smile.

"It won't go!" He said frantically with watery eyes.

"Calm down honey." She spoke softly, "You know how to tie your tie."

"NO!" he pulled it off in frustration, "It's not right."

"Sam," Elliot grinned, "You don't have to wear a tie to see the puppies, you just got out of school put play clothes on buddy."

"But, I want to look nice for the puppy." Sam groaned in frustration.

"Sam," Olivia held his hands and felt him calm almost immediately, "settle down, I need you to show Elliot how to tie a tie okay?"

"Really?" Sam grinned, "I can show Elliot?"

"Yep…go right a head." She encouraged him.

"It's like this," Sam said reaching for Elliot and then manipulating his tie, "Christoff showed me, see the bunny comes out of his hole, then goes around the tree and goes back in." he smiled producing a perfect knot. "Hey!" He grinned touching it with his fingertips, "it went."

"Yeah," Elliot smiled, "And that's a very good story, I think I'll have to use that one tomorrow morning."

"Get your cane, Sam." Olivia urged him and waited until he was out of ear shot before pulling Elliot to her by his buckle loops and kissing him playfully on the lips, "don't go learnin' how to tie your own tie on me now." She smiled sipping his bottom lip softly.

"I thought you'd like me to be all grown up." He whispered pulling her waist to him and tracing her top lip with his tongue, "I thought that's what you wanted."

"No." She whispered before sliding her tongue into his mouth and stoking his softly.

He grinned at her sudden playfulness, "Why not?" he asked slipping his hand up the back of her shirt to caress her naked flesh.

"Cause," She nuzzled his nose softly, "I want to be close to you in the mornings, I want to smell you, touch you-"

"Taste Me?" He grinned nipping at her lip.

"Exactly." She whispered, "And then there is alwa-"

"Found it." Sam declared causing them both to jump and separate.

Olivia wiped the rim of her mouth and blushed, "Alright…let's go find ourselves a puppy."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam moved quickly, his cane bouncing from right to left as he practically led Elliot. "Slow down Sam." Elliot smiled.

"Steps Sam." Olivia called out just before his cane registered the same thing.

"Door Sam." Elliot laughed holding it open and letting the bundle of energy pass into the building as Olivia followed, her index finger strategically placed to graze his abdomen as she walked by, that sly smile gracing her face.

"Hi can I help you?" An older gentleman with a deep voice stood.

Sam took an immediate step back holding tightly to Elliot's belt.

"We'd like to look at your dogs please." Olivia smiled resting her hand on Sam's back.

The older gentleman looked down at Sam and then back up at Elliot, "I'm not trying to be rude, but are you looking for a _specific_ type of dog?"

"Yeah," Olivia informed him a little irritated at his assumption, "We'd like one that wags it's tail and goes ruff ruff…if you've got one."

"I'm sorry," The man smiled sheepishly, "I wasn't trying to insinua-"

"Excuse me, Nicholas?" Elliot squinted to read his name tag, "My son would like to see your dogs…do you have any?"

"Right this way."

Elliot laced his fingers with Olivia and let hand hold onto his free arm as they followed the man into the unit that held the dogs, "Through this door here." He smiled opening it.

"Oh!" Olivia covered her nose and stomach at the same time, "Un uh…nope… not going in." she shook her head.

Elliot smiled, "What is it?"

"What is it?" She looked at him with wide eyes, "You can't smell that?"

"Yeah." He shrugged, "Come on you've been in the ME's office with a floater before."

"Yeah well, bodies that have been floating in the water don't smell like dog crap!" she smiled, "I'll wait here."

Elliot rolled his eyes, "Your such a girl." He teased before following in after Sam.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot finally poked his head out of door, "Hey Liv?"

"Yeah?" She grinned, "Did he pick one?"

"Yep." Elliot smiled opening the door and letting Sam walk out with a young dog, that looked like it was more of a Heinz fifty-seven than any discernable breed.

Olivia furrowed her brows at the dog with matted fur, one ear up, the other dropping, tail swinging frantically in the air as it pulled on the leash, slipping here and there, but it was the grin on Sam that made her smile. "Wow Sam, that sure is a…precious dog." She looked at it questioningly, trying to figure out exactly what Elliot was thinking allowing him to pick this particular dog.

"El?" she whispered as he stood next to her.

"Yeah?"

"Did you forget something?"

"What?"

She looked at him in shock, and leaned into him, "Elliot, that dog only has three legs."

"NO!" Elliot feigned shock and then smiled speaking softly, "Liv, if we treat Sam as though he's no different…he doesn't see a difference in others, we can't tell him he can'y have a puppy _because_ its different…its hypocritical."

She exhaled looked at the dog that Sam had picked up and sat on a hard plastic chair with, it licked his chin causing a giggle from the boy that she hadn't heard before, she laughed softly, "He's happy."

"Yeah."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What are you going to name him?" Olivia asked as she lay next to Sam in his bed, his newest sidekick wedged between them.

"Puppy?" he asked.

"Puppy?" Olivia chuckled, "Honey, give him a cool name."

"Bob?" He furrowed his brow a little confused.

Olivia smiled petting the belly of the sleeping puppy, which, after a bath and brushing didn't smell and actually looked cute, "Bob is okay, but what about Dozer or Copper or Tripod." She stopped immediately hoping that didn't sound like she was making fun of his dog.

"What's tripod mean?"

She blushed sheepishly at her comment but decided to use it to her advantage, "A tripod is something you hold a camera or video camera on, it only has three legs, but is very strong."

"A tripod is strong?" he asked rubbing the dog's ear.

"Yep." She assured him.

Sam shook his head and smiled, "His name should be Tripod then."

Olivia arched her brows in surprise but encouraged him nonetheless, "That's a cool name."

"Olivia?" Sam furrowed his brow.

"Yeah?"

"Does Elliot really mean that I'm _his_ boy?"

"Absolutely…he really loves you Sam." She assured him.

"Am I…"

"What?" she whispered sensing his anxiousness.

"Am I…_your_ boy?" he asked softly, a hint of hope in his voice.

She grinned feeling her eyes mist as she caressed his cheek, "Your absolutely my boy."

He smiled resting his small hand over hers, "Can I call you mom?"

She kissed his hand softly and sniffled, "I'd really like that Sam…I liked it when you called me mom the other day, I'd like it if you kept calling me mom."

"Mom and Tripod." He grinned then grew serious again, "Will Elliot let me call him…"

"Yes." She answered him already knowing his question, "He'd like that very much."

"Casey and Paul are coming over tomorrow night?" He asked through a yawn.

"Yep."

"I can show them Tripod?"

"Yep…but don't be surprised if Casey gets all girly on you." She teased him, "She loves animals."

"Mom?"

_Mom_. She grinned, "Yeah?"

"Do you like my dog?"

_Wow, how do I get around this one_? "Sam, you never told me why you chose Tripod, why did you pick him?"

"I felt the other dogs and they felt pretty."

"How come you didn't choose them?" she asked out of curiosity.

"Some one else would have." He assured her and then it clicked, he chose Tripod because he _knew_ he was different and _because_ of the difference no one else would want him.

"I like him." Sam said confidently.

Olivia kissed his forehead and tucked him in before lowering her lips to his ear, "I like him too."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Elliot?" Olivia shook him softly, "Elliot can you do me a favor?"

"What?" he grumbled nuzzling his face into her neck.

"Can you help Sam this morning, I feel like crap." She groaned.

"Absolutely." He smiled in a sleepy daze, "Are you gonna be okay while I take him to school?"

"Mnn hmm." She replied lazily, "No mayo on his sandwich or he'll hate you forever."

"Noted." He grinned and kissed her forehead, "Your not hot."

"Oh," She teased weakly, "So now your saying I'm not sexy?"

He smiled, "Not what I meant and you know it."

"I know…I'm playing, I just…five more minutes okay?"

"Take all the time you need." He assured her slipping out of the bed and moving to wake up Sam.

"Elliot?" she suddenly felt the need to warn him.

"Yeah?"

"Sam has something he wants to tell you…when you hear it…let him know how your feel, Okay?"

He furrowed his brow at her cryptic remark, "Okay." He responded and left.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Sam, Sam wake up." Elliot shook him softly as the dog nuzzled him playfully.

"Sam wake up or your puppy is gonna have an accident in your bed." Elliot smiled as Sam jumped up.

"No Tripod!" he scolded automatically.

"Sam." Elliot laughed, "Come on, we'll put him outside, he wasn't gonna wet, but when he nuzzles you like that, that's how he tells you he has to go."

"Oh." Sam blushed and felt for the puppy, "Sorry Tripod."

"Tripod?" Elliot grinned, "Is that his name?"

"Yeah," Sam grinned, "Mom said it was cool."

_Mom._ Elliot grinned and proceeded to show Sam how to let the dog out, give him food and water and be soft with him. "Sam," Elliot called to him as he put his homework in his backpack.

"Yes?"

"Is it no mayo or is it no mustard?"

"No mayo, it hurts my tummy."

"No mayo it is." Elliot laughed finishing up the lunch and handing it to Sam just in time to see a very pale Olivia walk into the living room.

"Wow," Elliot smirked, "Return of the living dead."

"Shut up." She smiled weakly, "I just prayed to the porcelain gods right now and I don't think they are gonna have mercy on me."

"Your really sick huh?" Elliot furrowed his brow.

"No." She smiled sarcastically, "I just occasionally like to play the part of the withdrawing addict."

"Are you sick mom?" Sam asked.

_Mom_. She grinned forgetting for a split second that she wasn't feeling well.

"Yeah, honey, I don't feel well." She confessed.

Elliot moved to her, resting his head against her temple, an act of intimacy as he held her close.

"Maybe Dad should take me to school and let you go back to bed."

Elliot raised a brow and turned his head in the direction of the little boy.

_Dad_. They both smiled at one another. Olivia released him to let him go to Sam.

"What did you say?" Elliot whispered crouching before the little boy.

"I think maybe we should let mom go to sleep." Sam said again.

"I-I heard that…but who will take you to school?" Elliot asked softly.

Sam grinned, "You will, Dad." He said matter of factly.

Elliot pulled him off the chair, "C'mere." He whispered hugging him tightly, "Thank you."

"Dad?" Sam strained.

"Yeah?"

"I can't breath."

Olivia chuckled, "Alright, your gonna be late for school." She smiled, "Where's my hug and kiss?" she asked as Sam went to her, hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek before moving to the door.

Elliot kissed her passionately, caressing her cheeks, angling her face towards his and exploring her gently before letting her go. "I'll be right back." He whispered.

She smiled, "Thanks for the warning."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot pulled the mustang back into the driveway shocked to see that his driver smashed Acura was gone. He furrowed his brows made his way up the steps of the house and cautiously through the door. There were no sounds, no indication that anyone was there. He drew his weapon form the foyer cabinet and leveled it as he walked through the house then smiled seeing the note on the refrigerator.

He rolled his eyes at his paranoia and disengaged his weapon placing it on the counter and reading the note, out loud, "Hey Daddy! Went to the corner market for some sprite, love you more than you know, L."

_Daddy_.

"Elliot?" Olivia called into the house, a nervousness coating his name.

He furrowed his brow and turned the corner to see her pointing her gun directly at him.

"Don't shoot!" He laughed nervously.

"Elliot!" She scolded, "The door was wide open with the keys in the lock…I thought something was wrong." She exhaled then noticed his gun on the counter. "We're absolutely paranoid." She chuckled; taking them both and placing them back in their correct spot and retrieving a bag from the hall and nonchalantly taking a small box out of it and placing it on the countertop.

"You look better." He smiled.

"I feel better, took a shower, puked my brains out, took another shower and went to the store."

"In the Acura?" he winced, "Sorry."

"No problem." She shrugged and smiled playfully at him, "So, looks like you and I are all alone."

"I thought you were sick?" he smiled pulling her close to him.

"Well maybe I was…maybe I wasn't." she whispered kissing him softly, pulling back and whispering seductively to him, " Wouldn't suppose you'd want to make out with your wife, huh?"

"Anytime, anyplace, just say the words." He blushed kissing her mouth softly, tracing her tips with the tip of his tongue and sucking softly down the line of her neck stopping at the hollow spot of her pulse and caressing it gently with his tongue.

"Hey, your pretty good at this." She giggled.

"Lots of practice with you Liv." He grinned against her flesh and nipped her softly.

"Hey, no biting," She warned, "We have work now." She reminded him caressing the back of his head as he moved further down to the top of her cleavage and kissed her softly.

"You're so perfect." He whispered against her, the warmth of his breath causing her clothed nipples to tighten.

"Elliot?" she wrapped a leg around his waist, letting him pick her up.

"Yeah?" he breathed feeling her legs around him.

"The couch, right now…I want you." She smiled.

"Took it literal huh?" he teased walking her over to the couch not paying attention as she reached out her hand and pulled a small box off of the countertop.

Elliot sat carefully as she continued to kiss him deeply, passionately as if she wanted to mark this specific time, as if she wanted to flag it in his memory. She breathed in his scent, feeling the thickness of his body swelling under her. She separated from his lips, nipped softly at his lip and then pulled back presenting the small box to him, "I got you something at the store."

"Oh yeah," He grinned kissing her mouth, "I can open it later if you want…I can open you now."

She laughed, "No," she said pushing him softly back, "Open it."

"Liv," he whispered rubbing himself into her, "I'd really rather unwrap you right now."

"Elliot! Open the damn box!" she said firmly, "I don't know why you have to be stubborn." She grinned letting him know she wasn't angry, "Open it." She encouraged him again.

"Is it a fortune cookie again?" He smiled teasing her, "Last time you snapped like that it was over a fortune cookie."

She exhaled, frustrated. "If you don't open that box, your gonna be a lonely man in the next couple of minutes….if you get my drift." She said rubbing softly over him.

He blushed and pulled the white ribbon off of the dark blue box and took the small lid off. He furrowed his brows and looked at her in confusion, "You gave me a pretzel?"

"Yeah." She smiled.

"A pretzel?"

"Yes…a pretzel." She grinned, he wasn't getting her drift. She leaned in caressed his face and kissed him mouth gently before separating and whispering in his ear, "I'm pregnant."


	31. Chapter 31 From the Begining

Divided We Fall

Chapter 31: From the Beginning

Elliot took in the gentle announcement that fell from his wife's lips, as he placed his hands tenderly on her abdomen, stroking her flesh under her shirt with his thumbs, "You gave me a pretzel," he whispered softly.

She ran her hand through his short hair as she straddled his lap, "Yeah," she smiled softly.

"You gave me a pretzel, because you're pregnant," he whispered again, shock still playing in his voice.

Olivia tilted his face up to meet hers, glassy eyes locked as she laughed softly, "Yeah, because I'm pregnant," she sniffled, "We're pregnant, El."

"We're pregnant." He repeated caressing her abdomen softly and shifting to lower her gently on the couch. He raised her shirt almost reverently and traced the scar that bore Isaac, the scars that forced her to build a foundation of strength. He kissed her abdomen delicately as she ran her hand delicately through his hair. "You're pregnant," he smiled over her abdomen before covering her body so that they were face to face.

She blinked out a tear, allowing it to fall shamelessly down her cheek, "I think we've already established that." She whispered through a grin.

He kissed the moisture away, nuzzling his cheek against hers as she hooked her hands around his neck, feeling the warmth of his face against hers, the pulse of his abdomen, the involuntary rise and fall of his shoulders. She smiled softly knowing he was crying against her. "So," she sniffled, "Are these happy tears?"

He raised up, pulling her up with him, a small blush creeping over his face, as he caressed her cheek, "They're ecstatic tears," he grinned before taking her lips into his, pulling her up slowly with him as he stood. He'd wanted her before she told him, but now he absolutely needed her, needed to convey to her what this confession just did to him, yet he had no immediate intention of making love to her. It wasn't that he didn't want to; he simply wanted a different type of intimacy, a closeness to be with one another, in each other's arms as they discussed new life.

"Let me hold you." He whispered breaking the kiss and resting his forehead against hers.

She chuckled softly, "You are holding me."

He smirked and took her softly by her hand leading her back into their bedroom. Standing before her, he felt himself proud, that he would be becoming a father for the third time in less than three years, for the second time in less than a month.

She smiled tracing his lips with her index finger, "What do you think?" she asked softly.

"I think I'm the luckiest man in the world to have you as my wife." He grinned boyishly tugging softly at the hem of her shirt, "I want to hold you."

She furrowed her brow in confusion, a small smirk playing on her lips, "I don't get what you're asking…you are holding me." She informed him resting her hand on his that caressed the small of her back.

"No." he whispered locking eyes with her and slowly pulling her shirt over her body, exposing the beautiful flesh that would keep his child safe. He stepped closer to her feeling her hands extend and caress the bottom of his shirt pulling it over his head and then pulling her naked flesh against his, his hands moving delicately up her spine and unclasping her bra exposing the perfection of her breast as he brought her even closer.

He bowed his head against her shoulder and kissed her delicately as he hooked his fingers into her track pants and panties, pulling them down gently as he ran his tongue over her collarbone, smiling as she stepped out of her clothing, "What do you want?" she whispered searching his face, feeling the warmth of his body against hers as she looked up at him.

"I told you," he spoke placing her hands at his waistband, "I want to hold you." He told her again feeling his pants and boxers slip down around him. He grinned at her confusion, kissed her in her innocence and gently lowered her to the bed, pulling the comforter over their bodies and pulling her as close to him as possible, resting his hands on her abdomen and nuzzling his chin into the contours of her neck.

She smiled to herself as the meaning of what he was trying to convey to her finally set in, he literally wanted to hold her, in an intimacy that came with being vulnerably naked. There was something entirely sensual, entirely sexy about lying in his arms, flesh against flesh with no commitment or obligation to satisfy either person.

His legs tangled possessively over hers, her hands resting over the safety of his, "So," she rubbed his knuckles softly, "this is what you meant?" She whispered.

"Yeah." He pulled her closer, "Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you happy?"

She twisted carefully in his arms and rested her fingertips on the contour of his jaw, "I'm absolutely happy…I'm delirious." She laughed softly."

He closed his eyes, rested his forehead against hers, "Twins?"

She chuckled, "I have no idea…doctor just said pregnant."

"Girl?" he grinned.

"Or boy." She whispered, "I'd have a whole houseful of boys." She smiled.

"Twin boys?" He hypothesized rubbing his thumb absently over her abdomen.

"Twin girls." She laughed, "Maybe not though."

"What? Why? I thought you'd want a little girl." He asked softly.

"Oh I would." She assured him, "But lets face it, that would be a whole lot of PMS for you and Sam to deal with."

"And Isaac." He whispered pushing a loose tendril of her hair behind her ear.

"Yeah." She kissed him gently, "And Isaac."

"Do you want to know what we're having this time?"

"Nope…do you?"

"Nope…I like the surprise factor." He laughed then suddenly froze.

Feeling his body clench in her arms, she furrowed her brow, "What is it?" she asked softly feeling her own body temperature rise at the sudden shift in mood.

"When did you find out?"

She knew it was coming and braced herself accordingly, but wasn't prepared for her tears that fell. "I know what your thinking." She held on to him firmly, "When I went to the doctor, they had just finished examining me and when I looked at the clock, I knew that I had to get to the Morris Commission, I told the doctor to call me with the results. I'm not sure why…but I felt like I had to do the right thing for Munch, and maybe…for Cragen."

He kissed her forehead softly and smiled, "You found out after?'

"Yes…I wouldn't have done something so brash with our baby's life." She whispered, "Please believe me."

"I do." He assured her, "I knew there had to be an explanation."

"Elliot?"

"Olivia."

"Are you happy you married me…even with all the stuff that we've been through?"

Without skipping a beat he kissed her softly on the mouth, "There isn't another person in the world I would rather go through it with."

She closed her eyes, rested in the tenderness of his embrace, "Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"What about Sam? How do we tell him?"

"I think he's gonna love being a big brother." Elliot assured her.

"I think he's gonna feel like we're replacing him." She said honestly, "He's barely coming around to us, barely feeling comfortable with us and our friends and schedules, what if…what if knowing there's a baby on the way…upsets him?"

"He's a very resilient boy Liv, and besides, you heard his explanation for wanting a puppy, he's a little lonely, I think he'll be excited, but…if you'd like we can hold off on telling him, try to feel him out a little." He assured her.

Olivia grinned, kissed his chest softly, "I want to tell everybody as soon as possible."

"Huh?"

"I want to tell everyone, I want to be the one to tell Casey, I want her to be the first to know…I want her to know that I still love her friendship."

"Well then," He smiled kissing the top of her head, "I suppose when she drops off the files tonight, you'll be all smiles."

She laughed softly then grew serious, "El?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we get an alarm for the house?"

"Sure."

"Can we…" her voice trailed off a hint of sadness tainting it.

"What is it? Ask, its okay."

"Don't think I'm crazy okay?"

He laughed, "Darn."

"Do you think you can talk to your friend in K-9 and see about adopting a dog that is ready to be retired?" she asked nervously as she traced his abdomen with her fingertip.

"Liv?" He pulled her gently to look at him. He smiled softly, "We've got Tripod."

"Tripod…won't…be a good guard dog, he'll make noise sure, but he won't protect." She said softly.

"Your scared?" he asked softly making sure to not sound incredulous.

She hid her face in the safety of his chest, "I'm scared."

He pulled tightly into his body, "I'll tell you what, tonight, we're not gonna think about anything other than enjoying this news and letting our friends in on it." He tilted her chin so she looked at him, he saw it, the fear that suddenly consumed the eyes that shone so brightly only minutes ago, "Tomorrow morning," he spoke softly, "I'll call a locksmith and an alarm company and then, if you want, we can head down to K-9."

She exhaled deeply as if Mount Everest had just been lifted from her shoulders; she kissed him gently, "Thank you."

"I'd do anything to make you feel safe, Liv, don't ever doubt that."

She absorbed his words, knew that they were true and rested peacefully in his embrace, before the much more devious side of her began to take over. She journeyed her hand between their bodies tracing a line of seduction over his skin before stopping at his naval, "I was wondering," she whispered, "If maybe…I could still get that make out session?" she smiled taking him into the warmth of her hand, "If your up to it." She smiled. A challenge.

He grinned, "You know, when I first met you…even when we first got married, you were a shy little devil."

She laughed against him, traced his forming erection with her fingertip, "And now?"

He rolled over, tucked her safely under him and kissed her, "Now," he grinned "Your just a devil."

She rose up, kissed him passionately and grinned, "Ever make love to a devil woman?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Sam?" Elliot called knocking on his door and opening it to peek in.

"Sam, Casey and Paul will be here soon, did you want to change?"

"No." He whispered softly.

"Can I come in, Sam?" Elliot asked seeing the youngster sitting on the edge of his bed, covered in nothing except his yellow Sponge Bob boxers.

"Yes." He whispered gloomily.

"Why the long face? Elliot asked sitting next to him.

"I don't know." Sam shrugged, "I'm tired."

"Are you sure?"

"I don't know." Sam exhaled.

"Can I give you a hug Sam?" Elliot asked cautiously, not wanting to scare him in his lack of clothing.

Sam leaned softly into Elliot and exhaled, "I don't have any friends." He whispered.

"What?" Elliot frowned wrapping his arm around him, "Why do you think that?"

"No one talks to me at school and Michael Jameson is having a birthday party today." He sniffled, "I wasn't invited."

"I'm sorry that happened to you Sam." Elliot whispered kissing the crown of his head, "But you do have friends, Alex and Robert love you so much and Casey is coming to see you today…and Tripod is stuck to you like glue." He assured him.

"I like them too…but…they're big people…how come no one likes to be with me?" he whispered holding firmly to Elliot's waist.

"Because they're too consumed with themselves to know that they're missing a really cool boy." Elliot assured him rocking him softly.

Sam smiled, "I'm cool?"

"The coolest." Elliot grinned, "Want me to help you with your clothes?"

"Can I wear my blue shirt? Olivia says she likes that one, she says it's the color of the sky and the color of your eyes." He says with a grin.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Sam responded then furrowed his brow, "Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"What color are my eyes?" he asked softly.

Elliot furrowed his brow, "Sam, hasn't any one told you the color of your eyes?"

"No." He shook his head softly, "I don't really know colors but Mom says I can feel colors."

Elliot smiled, "Green."

"Green?" Sam grinned, "Is green a good color?"

"Like the grass." Elliot assured him.

"Grass smells good, it's soft, but sharp." Sam informed Elliot.

"Your eyes are soft, but your sharp and you smell good," Elliot teased, "Well after a shower anyway."

Sam tilted his head back and laughed.

"Hey," Olivia poked her head in, "What's with all the laughing?" She grinned careful to keep her tone playful for Sam's benefit.

"My eyes are green." Sam blurted.

Olivia furrowed her brow and look at Elliot as she walked into the room, "Yeah, they're beautiful too." She smiled, "Honey, why are you in your boxers?"

"Dad was gonna help me, can I wear my blue shirt? The one you say looks like Elliot's eyes?" he asked innocently.

Olivia blushed feeling the smirk-laden stare of her husband, "Sure thing, your daddy can help you…I'll be in the kitchen okay?"

"Okay." Sam grinned standing to his feet, "Where's my hug and kiss?" he teased holding out his arms to her voice.

She grinned laughed softly and closed the gap between the two of them hugging him softly as he rested his head on her abdomen, she rubbed his back gently, feeling the scars of a painful youth as he clung to her, "You okay Sam?"

"Yeah." He whispered.

"You sure?" She asked softly searching Elliot's face for an answer.

"I love you Mom." He whispered into her shirt.

She crouched in front of him caressed his chin and noticed the worry in his face. Olivia kissed him softly on the forehead, "I love you too, son."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So," Elliot snaked his arms around his wife's waist as she stood in front of the sink, "do you normally dress Sam according to what reminds you of me?" he asked, kissing her playfully on the neck.

"Shut up..and start washin' buddy." She laughed softly turning her head to kiss him then handing him a potato.

"What are we having?" Elliot asked running the water.

"Steak and baked potatoes…would it be okay if…" Her voice trailed off as she picked up another potato.

"What?" He grinned, "What's on your mind?"

"Would it be okay if I invited Casey to stay with us for dinner?"

"Sure, you don't have to ask." Elliot laughed softly, "You miss her don't you?"

"Yeah." Olivia confessed tossing the potato on a towel to dry. "What's the matter with Samuel?" she asked standing at the corner of the cabinets.

"Apparently," Elliot exhaled, "Michael Jameson is having a birthday party today and Sam wasn't invited."

"Ah." She exhaled, "He's lonely?"

"Yeah." Elliot exhaled.

"Maybe we should move back into the city?" Olivia brainstormed.

"Do you want to?" Elliot furrowed his brows.

"No!" She answered quickly, "I love it here."

"Then no city talk," He laughed softly, "I don't want to go back to the city either."

"Then it's settled." She smiled pulling him to her, "What do you think we should do for him?"

"Well, it the long run I'm not sure, but I've got an idea for tonight if you don't mind."

"Shoot." She smiled caressing the flesh of the small of his back just under his shirt.

"Well, what if you call Casey right now and as if she'll bring Paul and Addison. I think Samuel liked it the last time Addison was here." He informed her resting his hands on her hips.

"That's true, that sounds like a good idea." She shook her head softly, "Elliot?"

"Liv."

"What if we're wrong about Sam?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he's lonely…what if he'd like to know he's gonna be a big brother?" She smiled softly, "Let's tell him."

"You sure?"

"No." She confessed, "But neither of us has a better option, maybe if he knew he'd have a little brother or sister on the way…it would comfort him."

"Okay, let's do it." Elliot grinned forsaking the potato for her hand and leading her into the living room where they found Sam tying his tie on the chair.

"Hey, Sam?" Olivia smiled touching his shoulder softly.

Sam pulled the ear buds out of his ear and smiled, "Mom?"

"Yep, Elliot and I want to talk to you."

He furrowed his brows, "Was I bad?"

"No." Elliot and Olivia assured him as they claimed a space on either side of him.

Elliot grinned, "We have really good news for you, actually."

Sam's face lit up, "Casey's bringing the new Ben and Jerry's ice cream bars?"

Olivia chuckled, "No…and how did you know they came out with bars?"

"Alex…she likes ice cream too." He said a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"Samuel," Olivia grinned, "how would you like to be a big brother?"

"I'm already a big boy." He told her just in case she'd forgotten.

"Right." Elliot grinned, "But how would you like to be a big brother?"

Sam shrugged his shoulders, "Never been one…okay I guess."

"Sam," Elliot spoke softly, "Olivia told me this afternoon that she's gonna have a baby."

In a split second all the work that had gone into Sam suddenly dissipated, his smile faded, his body tensed, he swallowed hard trying to catch a breath. "A baby boy?" he asked slowly standing.

"It's a possibility." Olivia informed him noticing his extreme discomfort, "But it's also possible to have a baby girl…what's wrong Sam?"

"I have to go now." Sam said matter of factly turning on his heels and walking to his bedroom.

"El?" Olivia asked, a tinge of nervousness in her voice.

"I'm not sure what to make of it either." He told her, "Maybe you should go talk to him?"

"Okay, can you dig around and find my jeans…the ones with the hole in the knee please?"

"Sure," he laughed.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Well, Sam and I will be in ties, and you'll be in your lucky jeans…doesn't seem fair." He teased. The fact of the matter was that if Sam wanted him to wear a kilt he would.

Olivia smiled seductively and whispered playfully into his ear, "Well, maybe I was hoping to get lucky tonight."

"I must be a Greek god." Elliot laughed.

She smirked, "Maybe." And turned on her heels to go talk to Sam.

Knocking on his closed door she called his name, "Sam, Honey, I'd like to talk to you."

"I can't talk, Olivia, I'm busy." He called back.

She smiled softly at his response but was concerned with the stress she heard in his voice, "I'm opening your door." She informed him and poked her head in to see him filling his backpack with clothes.

"Sam?"

"I have to go now." He told her softly, adding an audio book to his bag.

"Where ya going?" She asked calmly sitting on the bed as he moved about his room.

"Christoff's again, that's where I normally go."

"Sam," she covered his hand slightly as he made another clothing deposit into his bag, "your our son now honey, Christoff won't come for you…why do you think he would need to come for you?"

"You don't want me anymore."

"Not true, Sam." She assured him reaching out only to feel him push her away.

His angry tears fell quickly weighted down with the pain of insecurity, with the pain of never knowing a home before this one, "You'll have a baby boy!" he sobbed, "And then I won't be your boy!" he hiccupped trying to catch his breath and wipe his tears.

She crouched in front of him and moved to wrap her arms around him only to feel him push her as hard as his little body could muster, "I HATE YOU!" he barked as Olivia feel on her backside. Before she could regain her balance and digest what had just happened he was gone moving quickly and tactfully through the house. And when she'd thought it couldn't get worse, she heard the front door open and then slam. _Oh no!_

She got to her feet quickly, "Elliot!" She yelled, "Elliot, help me!" she called running through to the living room.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked stress on the end of each word.

"Look!" she screeched pointing to the window to see Sam making his way down the graveled road…to the country street.

"SAM!" Elliot barked as he and Olivia ran out of the house.

"SAM!" Olivia screeched as she ran. She'd thought it was the sound of her heart beating to loudly but when she looked up and saw the SUV barreling down the road, she knew otherwise, "SAM. CAR!" She yelled again.

Elliot's body pulled hard, its muscles working to propel his body quickly, "Sam get out of the street!" he barked. Just a few more seconds.

Sam moved to take a step and tripped over the reflector embedded in the street. He stood to his feet and took a step, only it was obvious he'd lost his since of direction; he was no longer able to simply walk across the street to safety, he was now walking in the direction of the car.

"SAM. LEFT!" Elliot yelled again, he was close but he didn't know if he was close enough, he started to extend his arms to his son, as the unmistakable sound of locked up breaks bit through the air.

Olivia watched in horror as Elliot leapt just as the car blocked her vision and eventually stopped some twenty feet later. "Elliot!" Olivia made her way across the street, looking for him, "Elliot! Answer me!" She yelled frantically vaguely aware that the people had stepped out of the car.

She spotted it, the blue tie that looked like his eyes, "Sam!"

And then a gentle cry was heard from the distance, she moved quickly and eventually saw her son laying in the protective embrace of Elliot who's legs moved just barely. "Elliot." She kneeled next to the both.

"Olivia." Elliot smiled weakly, "I'm okay…road rash I think, is Sam okay?"

Olivia looked at the little boy who wasn't moving, "Sam?" She shook him softly, heard his cries, not a cry of pain, a cry of fear, confusion, and abandonment.

"Are you folks alright?" A large man called from the curb.

"Yes." Olivia cried softly, "We're fine…thank you for stopping."

"I did see them until I came around that last curve." He assured them.

"Thank you, Sir." Elliot smiled reassured and sat up holding Sam tightly.

It took minutes for the man to leave them in their silence; it took minutes for it to sink in that she'd almost lost two of the greatest loves of her life. She sobbed heavily pulling Sam into her embrace, "Are you okay?" she asked squeezing him tight, kissing him frantically on his face as if that was what it would take to make the youngster immortal.

"I'm okay." He sniffled, "I fell and didn't remem-"

"I know baby." She allowed her hands to search his body, to ensure herself that he was still the little boy in front of her, "Please, Sam…you can't ever do something like that again…you really scared me Sam."

"I'm sorry." He cried softly, "I just didn't think you'd want me, if you have your own boy."

"Sam, honey," She held his hands tightly, "We want you, we want you, we want you!" she told him, reassuring him, "Your our son, and we're not giving you up for anything in the world honey, Elliot and I love you so much."

Elliot rested his hands on Sam's back, "Buddy, you really scared me."

"I'm sorry."

"I thought I lost you Sam." Elliot sniffled, taking them both into his embrace, "Don't do that again Sam."

"I wont…I'm sorry."

After several minutes Olivia looked at her watch and let out a nervous laugh, "We better go and get changed." She smiled tugging on Sam's dress shirt, "You're all dirty buddy, let's get you washed up." She wiped a stray tear as they finally stood to their feet and made their way back to the house.

Sam chose to walk slightly further in front of them as they walked along the gravel path. Olivia leaned into Elliot, "I think I may have crapped a brick."

Elliot chuckled softly, "I know what you mean, that was scary."

"We'll, I suppose I was right, huh?" Olivia smiled playfully, "I figured he would think we didn't want him.

"You were right." Elliot assured her, knowing that this friendly banter was what they needed, this gallows humor kept them sane. "I think he'll warm up to it though." Elliot assured her.

"I think he will too."

"Your know, Liv?"

"What?"

Elliot grinned at her, "This wouldn't have happened if you were wearing your lucky jeans."

She rolled her eyes and smiled as they negotiated the steps to their porch, "Shut up."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia finished placing the last plate on the table when she felt a certain eight-year-old hug her waist tightly, "I'm sorry, Mom."

She crouched in front of him, careful to make sure she put her knee down this time, "Sam, you really scared me, I love you so much, that I don't think I could make it with out you, but do you remember what Elliot and I told you about forgiveness?"

"Forgiveness is important."

"Yep." Olivia smiled, "I forgive you Sam, I'm not upset with you, no more 'I'm sorry's' okay, it's forgotten…but don't do it again, understand?"

He shook his head in agreement and smiled gently patting her abdomen, "A baby girl."

"Oh really?" She laughed at his brazen prophecy. "How do you figure?"

Sam shrugged his shoulders, "I know things."

She chuckled, "Would you want to be a big brother Sam?"

"To a baby? Like Casey's baby…but a girl?"

"Yeah, like Casey's but the baby could be a boy or a girl." She informed him.

"I'll be a big brother?" he digested the words.

"Yep, you get to help us, and when the baby gets older he or she will need a big brother to look up to, one who will look our for them." She informed him.

Sam grinned, "I think I'll like being a big brother."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey!" Olivia grinned opening the front door to the Novak Klan, "Wow, you come bearing gifts huh?"

"Funny." Paul laughed holding the file boxes in his hands, "Where do you want them?"

"Um, right there's fine." Olivia furrowed her brow, looking at the boxes that she knew contained her son's case.

Paul sat them down in the foyer, "Casey said there was just a couple of boxes; however," Paul ran his hand through his hair, "she managed to leave out the fact that they weighed a ton."

"Hello," Casey winked at Olivia as she talked to him, "I have a baby to lug around."

"Yeah, must be rough," Paul laughed, "lugging all twelve pounds of him."

Casey rolled her eyes but made no effort to embrace Olivia, the awkwardness of knowing you've betrayed your best friend, even though you've been forgiven, makes some things unbearable. "Get over here." Olivia smiled and embraced her tightly, "I don't bite Casey." She whispered into her ear, "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Casey hugged her back then separated with a sheepish smile, "So what's so important that you needed us all to be here?"

"Well," Elliot grinned steeping into the conversation, "for starters we haven't seen your son in way too long." He informed her helping her with the car seat as Olivia took they're jackets.

"Sam," Elliot called into the living room, "Buddy, come see Addison, he's huge."

Sam emerged in jeans and a polo and made his way to the sound of Elliot's voice, "Can I feel him?"

"Yep." Casey smiled watching the young boy feel her son, "He got big." Sam agreed, "Is he asleep?"

"Yep…finally." Paul smiled wrapping his arm around Casey waist.

Olivia smiled to herself at the group in front of her, "Alright, who's feeling cannibalistic tonight? The steaks are ready."

"Oh, free food." Paul grinned.

"Sam," Casey smiled, "Would you like to help me lay Addison down?"

"In my room?" He asked with a grin, "Cause I'm gonna be a big bro-"

"Sam," Elliot cut him off quickly, not wanting Sam to spill the secret. Olivia had said she wanted to tell Casey, and he would see to it that she did. "of course on your bed, buddy." Elliot blushed, "Go ahead and show her your room."

Sam took Casey by the hand as she picked up the car seat and followed him along. "Wow, Sam, this is nice." Casey smiled looking around at the pictures of him at the zoo, the audio book lined up methodically on the bookshelf, Sam, was a neat freak. And then it dawned on her that he needed to be, so he knew exactly where things were. She smiled.

"My mom and dad made it for me." He informed her.

_Mom and Dad_? "Alright, Sam go ahead and unclip the car seat."

"Really?" He asked with brows that arched clear over his sunglasses.

"Really." She assured him keenly aware that the rest of the group was eyeing the situation from the threshold, "Can you give me your hands and I'll show you what to do?"

"Yeah, yeah." He said excitedly.

She took his tiny hands into hers and guided them over the clip, "Push here." She whispered applying the pressure on his fingertips, "Did you hear that click?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Then take the straps like this." She guided his hands, "Careful with his arms," She cautioned, but then found that once he'd done one side he was a pro, "Alright, gently lift him, and keep your hand under his head-"

"Does it fall off?" Sam asked in confusion.

"No," She laughed, "we just have to be careful…got him?"

"Yeah." He assured her keeping the baby close to him.

Olivia wrapped her arm around Elliot's waist and rested her head on his shoulder taking in the sight, the gentleness of Samuel toward Addison.

"Got a good boy there." Paul whispered to them.

"Yeah, we do." Elliot smiled resting his hand on her waist, and watching as Samuel lowered the baby delicately onto his bed and helped place pillows around the tiny form to keep from having a sort of accident.

"Hey, thanks Sam." Casey smiled, "I don't know if I could have done it without you."

Sam blushed.

Elliot and Olivia chuckled at his embarrassment.

"Want to see Tripod?" Sam asked excitedly.

"You have a tripod?" She asked slightly confused but followed him as he led.

She brushed past her group of onlookers, "Hey, didn't know we had an audience.'

"Thank you." Olivia whispered pulling her tight.

"Liv…can't breath."

Olivia chuckled, and then cautioned her on the dog as they journeyed to the back yard.

"Wow, that's a nice lookin' dog, Sam." Paul grinned picking up the young dog and scratching its belly.

"You don't think he looks…not normal?" Sam asked a little nervous.

"Not normal?" Paul furrowed his brow and held the dog out in front of him acting as though he were giving it an inspection. Casey, Elliot and Olivia looked on. "Is there something wrong with him?" Paul asked feigning ignorance, "He looks pretty sharp to me."

"Sharp?" Sam asked, "Really?"

"Oh yeah," Paul smiled releasing the dog to play, "That puppy is top of the line right there." He assured him, "Great chromosomes."

"Chroma-what?" Sam furrowed his brow.

"Just means he looks good." Casey jumped in.

"Alright," Olivia laughed, "I don't know about you all but I've got to get something in my stomach."

"Uh oh," Elliot teased, "We better get inside Liv's hungry."

"Well," Casey smiled, "We certainly don't want to antagonize a hungry Olivia."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So your back in the courtroom huh?" Olivia asked Casey as she reached to cut Sam's meat.

"Yeah…plopped me right in the middle of a case from hel…er…Hades." She corrected herself correctly.

"Well," Olivia smiled silently thanking Casey she wasn't going into detail in front of Sam, "I hope everything works out."

"I'm going to loose." Casey informed her simply.

"Case," Paul scolded, "Your not gonna loose."

"Okay." She agreed then looked at Olivia and silently ran her finger across her neck indicating that she was not only going to loose, but be killed. She smiled as Olivia got the jest of what she was saying.

Olivia slid Sam's plate back to him, "Meat twelve o'clock, peas at three and your potato is at seven. Water is in its same place."

"Thanks mom." Sam inched his way closer to the table and started to eat.

Olivia looked up to see three smiling people staring back at her. "What?" She blushed.

"Nothing," Casey grinned then whispered, "Mom."

"Speaking of which," Olivia cleared her throat and reached for Elliot's hand, "We have something to tell you."

Casey placed her fork back on the plate as Paul swallowed what was probably half masticated meat, "Oh no…please tell me, I didn't screw up again." Casey whispered to herself but slightly too loud.

"No!" Olivia laughed, "Casey…stop killing yourself." She said with a smile.

Elliot cleared his throat, "We asked your guys here, because Liv wanted you to be the first to know."

"To know what?" Paul furrowed his brow.

Olivia blushed and looked directly at Casey, "I'm pregnant Case."

Casey stared wide eyed, mouth agape, "How…how did this happen?"

Olivia chuckled, "Um, I don't think you really want us to get into that."

"No, you know what I mean…I just…you've been sick, and…wow, your pregnant?" She asked still shocked.

"Hey Casey," Paul smiled touching her thigh, "I think this is where you congratulate your friend and give her a hug." He whispered in her ear.

"Oh my goodness," Casey turned grinning at Paul, "Olivia is pregnant!"

"It's gonna be a baby girl." Sam chimed in matter of factly as he chewed a bite of steak.

"You already know?" Paul smiled.

"No," Elliot grinned, "Sam here is hypothesizing.

"Ah, a man with a theory," Paul nodded, "I like it Sam, tell me though, where did you get your data?"

"Data?" Sam furrowed his brow, "You like Star Trek too?" he grinned, "I like Star Trek, people explain what some of the aliens look like it's a fun thing too listen too." He informed Paul in perfect misunderstanding.

Paul smiled, "I absolutely love Star Trek."

Casey frowned and eyed him, then realized what he'd done, she smiled softly then looked back at Olivia, "So that explains the glow, huh?"

"Glow?" Olivia asked in curiosity.

"Yeah, the glow…you opened the door this evening and it was like our personal sunset." She teased.

"Oh spare me Case."

They laughed with one another, friends and colleagues, eventually, Sam was found dead to the world on the couch while Elliot and Paul talked about the latest and greatest sports injury and dugout fight. But it was the laughter of two women still sitting across from each other at the dinner table that made both men stop and stare.

"She's missed Olivia," Paul said to Elliot, "She's too damn stubborn to admit it, but she missed her."

"Liv missed her too, and ironically," Elliot smiled, "She admitted it."

"Really? That's not the Olivia everyone tells me about." Paul smiled.

"You know what?" Elliot took a drink of his tea and grinned watching his wife smile brightly with her head tilted back, a clap of the hand as if Casey just told a killer joke.

"What?"

"Olivia, has changed so much since I met her."

"For the better?"

Elliot beamed, "Definitely."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia sat in their bed, legs curled to her chest, an evidence box at the foot of their bed. She stared at it as if hoping that the information she needed would come through Osmosis, she didn't want to see pictures even though she knew they wouldn't be of her son, she didn't want to see evidence convincing the viewer that it was Isaac who had died that night. Yet here was the box, a simple white container with the words Stabler, Isaac R. and the date he was taken from her.

"Hey." Elliot spoke softly from the doorway.

"Hey." She responded not looking up, but continuing to stare at the box.

Elliot walked to the edge of the bed and rested his fingers on the box, "Liv, honey, we don't have to do this tonight." He assured her.

When she didn't respond he slipped his pants off, "I put Samuel back in his room, he's tucked in, out like a light." He informed her pulling his shirt off and climbing into the bed next to her in a crew neck and boxers, "Come here." He whispered making his way to her and embracing her.

"I don't know if I can do this." She whispered softly.

"You can, I know you can…but do it only if you want Olivia, I'm not gonna make you do anything." He assured her.

Olivia chuckled softly and smiled up at him, "Please, we're a team, you need my brain."

He laughed, kissed the crown of her head then suddenly realized he'd just been insulted, "Hey!"

"What?" She feigned innocence.

"If I need your brain…than what do you need?" He asked playfully.

Olivia slapped his chest lightly, "Well obviously those big ole muscles to get me that box." She smiled pointing to the box that was haunting both of them, and no matter how much humor was employed tonight, they both new it wouldn't bee enough.

Elliot smiled softly and kissed her full on the mouth, "You are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen." He breathed across her lips and offered a chaste kiss before pulling the box between their sitting bodies.

Olivia interlaced her hand with his, "Are you ready to do this?"

"No…are you?"

"No…open it."

Elliot removed the lid and stared down at the files contained in the cardboard box. "For a short investigation, there's a lot of paperwork here."

Olivia exhaled, "Elliot, there were so many lies, so many twists and turns…where do we start?"

Elliot reached in a pulled out a file, "We're a team." He reminded placing the file on the bed and lowering the box to the floor, "We'll go through everyone of these file and we'll start the whole investigation over from square one."

She nuzzled next to him, completely aware that he hadn't opened the file yet, "If we start this…we've got to be strong for one another."

"I agree."

"No drinking." She whispered kissing him softly on the chest.

"Just so long as you eat." He informed her grazing her abdomen, "We've got a little one to think about too now."

"I agree."

"Pinky Swear?" Elliot smiled holding up his pinky.

Olivia intertwined her pinky with his, "Pinky Swear."

"Alright." Elliot exhaled and stared at the file knowing full well she was doing the same.

"Alright." She echoed softly, "Open it…we'll start from the beginning."

The End

Look for the Sequel…Hell Hath No Furry.


End file.
